﻿1
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:04,140
[GEORGE MICHAEL'S "FAITH" PLAYING]

2
00:00:04,150 --> 00:00:06,079
[TAPE REWINDING]

3
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,330
♪ Faith, faith, faith ♪

4
00:00:08,340 --> 00:00:09,719
♪ Baby ♪

5
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:12,650
♪ I know you're asking me to stay ♪

6
00:00:12,660 --> 00:00:15,119
♪ Say please, please,
please don't go away ♪

7
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,259
♪ You say I'm giving you the blues ♪

8
00:00:17,260 --> 00:00:19,090
♪ Maybe ♪

9
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:20,159
♪ Huh! ♪

10
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,199
♪ You mean ♪

11
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,799
- ♪ Every word you say ♪
- [POPPING LOUDLY]

12
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,099
♪ Can't help but think ♪

13
00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:25,330
♪ Of yesterday ♪

14
00:00:25,340 --> 00:00:27,230
♪ And another who tied me down ♪

15
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,439
♪ To lover boy rules... ♪

16
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,839
ADULT SHELDON: <i>My father
took pride in saying</i>

17
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,270
<i>that he ran our house like a tight ship.</i>

18
00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,540
<i>The ship got a lot looser when</i>

19
00:00:35,550 --> 00:00:38,479
- <i>my meemaw came over to babysit.</i>
- [FIRECRACKER POPS]

20
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:41,949
I bet a nickel.

21
00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:44,049
Hang on there a minute, moon pie.

22
00:00:44,050 --> 00:00:45,679
I want to teach you somethin'.

23
00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:46,989
Look at your cards,

24
00:00:46,990 --> 00:00:48,959
and then look in the mirror.

25
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,589
Hey, I'm smiling.

26
00:00:50,590 --> 00:00:51,829
- [FIRECRACKER POPS]
- Uh-huh.

27
00:00:51,830 --> 00:00:52,830
And what does that

28
00:00:52,831 --> 00:00:54,679
tell me about your cards?

29
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,079
That I like them?

30
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:57,899
Attaboy. Now...

31
00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:59,749
look at my face.

32
00:00:59,750 --> 00:01:00,999
- [FIRECRACKER POPS]
- Tell me

33
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,600
what you see.

34
00:01:02,610 --> 00:01:03,669
That you're old.

35
00:01:03,670 --> 00:01:05,809
It's a good thing I love you.

36
00:01:05,810 --> 00:01:08,410
I'm gonna look at my cards again.

37
00:01:10,260 --> 00:01:11,529
You're unhappy.

38
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,919
Which means...?

39
00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,529
You don't have good cards.

40
00:01:14,530 --> 00:01:15,970
- Mm-hmm.
- [FIRECRACKER POPS]

41
00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,039
So...

42
00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,309
I'm gonna see your nickel...

43
00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:23,139
- and raise you a quarter.
- Quarter?

44
00:01:23,140 --> 00:01:24,639
You can fold.

45
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,879
No. I have good cards,
you have bad cards.

46
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,179
I'm in.

47
00:01:29,180 --> 00:01:32,079
- Nines and fives.
- Mm.

48
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,049
That's too bad.

49
00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,189
Three queens. You lose!

50
00:01:36,190 --> 00:01:37,889
- [LAUGHING]
- What?

51
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,289
But you weren't happy.

52
00:01:39,290 --> 00:01:42,319
- I made you <i>think</i> I was unhappy.
- But that's lying.

53
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,879
You lied to your moon pie.

54
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,150
I bluffed my moon pie.

55
00:01:48,230 --> 00:01:50,449
- Do people know about this?
- Sheldon,

56
00:01:50,450 --> 00:01:52,169
what's on a person's face

57
00:01:52,170 --> 00:01:54,969
is not always what's in their heart.

58
00:01:54,970 --> 00:01:57,179
Well, this changes everything.

59
00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:58,669
How do you know who to trust?

60
00:01:58,670 --> 00:01:59,909
You don't.

61
00:01:59,910 --> 00:02:02,949
That's what makes life interesting.

62
00:02:02,950 --> 00:02:06,869
ADULT SHELDON: <i>Meemaw liked to teach me
things that kept me awake at night.</i>

63
00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:08,200
MARY: Mom, we're home!

64
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:09,519
In here!

65
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,089
What's he doing up?

66
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:12,359
Losin'.

67
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,689
[FIRECRACKER POPS]

68
00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:15,059
Hell is that?

69
00:02:15,060 --> 00:02:16,729
I sent Georgie on a beer run,

70
00:02:16,730 --> 00:02:18,999
and tipped him with firecrackers.

71
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,000
Oh, Mom.

72
00:02:20,001 --> 00:02:21,810
- [DOOR OPENS]
- Was I supposed to stiff him?

73
00:02:22,450 --> 00:02:26,050
I ate so much candy!

74
00:02:27,740 --> 00:02:30,039
Okay.

75
00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:31,779
They're all yours.

76
00:02:31,780 --> 00:02:33,409
[CHUCKLES]

77
00:02:33,410 --> 00:02:34,949
[FIRECRACKER POPS]

78
00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:37,649
- ♪ Faith, faith, faith. ♪
- [GROANS]

79
00:02:37,650 --> 00:02:40,749
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

80
00:02:40,750 --> 00:02:43,519
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

81
00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,959
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

82
00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:49,099
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

83
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:55,510
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

84
00:02:57,350 --> 00:03:00,049
Sometimes people say
to me, "Pastor Jeff,

85
00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:01,819
how do you know there's a God?"

86
00:03:01,820 --> 00:03:04,369
And I say, "It's simple math.

87
00:03:04,370 --> 00:03:06,840
God either exists or he doesn't."

88
00:03:06,850 --> 00:03:08,379
[CHUCKLES]: So let's be cynical.

89
00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:11,379
Worst-case scenario,
there's a 50-50 chance.

90
00:03:11,380 --> 00:03:13,519
And I like those odds.

91
00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,019
That's wrong.

92
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,119
Shelly, put your hand down.

93
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,550
Sorry. Please continue.

94
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,289
[CHUCKLES] It's okay, Mary.

95
00:03:20,290 --> 00:03:22,020
I-It's Sheldon, right?

96
00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:24,129
- Yes, sir.
- Well, Sheldon,

97
00:03:24,130 --> 00:03:26,659
why don't you come on up here
and tell me how I'm wrong.

98
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:28,199
- No.
- Okay.

99
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,569
[CHUCKLES] Let's give
him a hand, everybody.

100
00:03:30,570 --> 00:03:33,570
- Mm.
- What's happening?

101
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:41,760
Shelly's gonna eat him alive. [CHUCKLES]

102
00:03:41,770 --> 00:03:42,750
PASTOR JEFF: So...

103
00:03:42,751 --> 00:03:44,049
you were saying?

104
00:03:44,050 --> 00:03:47,189
You've confused possibilities
with probabilities.

105
00:03:47,190 --> 00:03:48,929
According to your
analogy, when I go home

106
00:03:48,930 --> 00:03:52,250
I might find a million dollars
on my bed or I might not.

107
00:03:52,260 --> 00:03:54,420
In what universe is that 50-50?

108
00:03:54,430 --> 00:03:55,789
[CONGREGATION MURMURING]

109
00:03:55,790 --> 00:03:57,259
PASTOR JEFF: So what do you think

110
00:03:57,260 --> 00:03:59,459
the odds are that God exists?

111
00:03:59,460 --> 00:04:01,099
I think they're zero.

112
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,729
I believe in science.

113
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:04,199
[CONGREGATION OOH'ING, MURMURING]

114
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,499
PASTOR JEFF: So you don't think

115
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:08,169
science and religion
can go hand in hand?

116
00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:10,939
Science is facts, religion is faith.

117
00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:12,909
- I prefer facts.
- Mm.

118
00:04:12,910 --> 00:04:14,579
I understand that.

119
00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:16,179
Here's a cool fact for ya.

120
00:04:16,180 --> 00:04:17,849
A lot of famous scientists

121
00:04:17,850 --> 00:04:19,410
believed in God.

122
00:04:19,420 --> 00:04:20,949
Isaac Newton.

123
00:04:20,950 --> 00:04:22,280
Albert Einstein.

124
00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:24,389
Even Charles Darwin.

125
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,050
[CONGREGATION AH'ING]

126
00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:29,299
So Darwin's right about God
and wrong about evolution?

127
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:30,559
Now you're gettin' it.

128
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,229
Let's give it up for Sheldon, everybody.

129
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,929
What a good sport. Oh.

130
00:04:34,930 --> 00:04:36,899
[ORGAN PLAYING]

131
00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:38,789
ADULT SHELDON: <i>But I wasn't a good sport.</i>

132
00:04:38,790 --> 00:04:40,930
<i>At that moment, I vowed to come back</i>

133
00:04:40,940 --> 00:04:44,509
<i>the following Sunday
and destroy Pastor Jeff.</i>

134
00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:46,380
[KNOCKING]

135
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,749
Uh, hello, Mr. Cooper.

136
00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,150
Is Missy home?

137
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,550
Hello, Billy. No, she's at church.

138
00:05:01,790 --> 00:05:04,429
I brought her eggs from my chickens.

139
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,229
I see that.

140
00:05:06,230 --> 00:05:09,560
You can boil them or scramble them.

141
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,200
Okay.

142
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,200
I like fried.

143
00:05:15,210 --> 00:05:17,010
Okay.

144
00:05:18,710 --> 00:05:21,610
I don't like poached.

145
00:05:22,450 --> 00:05:24,410
Okay.

146
00:05:25,850 --> 00:05:28,020
Thank you for your time.

147
00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:34,090
Okay.

148
00:05:35,190 --> 00:05:38,290
MARY: You want me to cook
those eggs for you, baby?

149
00:05:38,300 --> 00:05:40,159
No. They're a gift.

150
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:41,789
Sorry.

151
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:43,490
He even wrote me a note.

152
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,639
"Eggs from your secret admirer. Billy."

153
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,539
GEORGE SR. [CALLS]:
Mary, can you come in here?

154
00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:50,909
I'm cookin'.

155
00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:53,139
I really need you to come in here.

156
00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:54,950
What on earth?

157
00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:57,810
Uh-oh.

158
00:05:57,820 --> 00:05:58,979
What?

159
00:05:58,980 --> 00:06:00,349
Listen to this.

160
00:06:00,350 --> 00:06:02,420
"French philosopher,

161
00:06:02,430 --> 00:06:05,279
mathematician and
physicist, Blaise Pascal,

162
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,789
argued a rational person
should believe God exists

163
00:06:08,790 --> 00:06:11,590
because you have everything
to gain if you're right,

164
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,999
and nothing to lose if you're wrong."

165
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,890
Sounds right.

166
00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:17,570
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

167
00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:19,130
MARY: Meemaw is coming over

168
00:06:19,140 --> 00:06:21,060
to watch you... I gotta go.

169
00:06:21,100 --> 00:06:23,949
- Where?
- Daddy's not feeling good.

170
00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:25,709
We're gonna go see a doctor.

171
00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:27,800
- Is he okay?
- He's gonna be fine.

172
00:06:27,810 --> 00:06:28,909
You just sit right there.

173
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,729
Meemaw's on her way
over to cook you dinner.

174
00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:32,129
Can we come with you?

175
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:34,560
No. Just stay right there, don't move.

176
00:06:34,570 --> 00:06:36,700
George, let's go.

177
00:06:48,870 --> 00:06:50,869
How long are we supposed to sit here?

178
00:06:50,870 --> 00:06:52,439
I don't know.

179
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:53,889
She said don't move.

180
00:06:53,890 --> 00:06:56,100
She was very clear.

181
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,429
Hope I don't have to go to the bathroom.

182
00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:01,130
[DOOR OPENS]

183
00:07:01,850 --> 00:07:03,520
Don't worry!

184
00:07:03,530 --> 00:07:05,009
Meemaw's here!

185
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:07,089
Everything's under control!

186
00:07:07,090 --> 00:07:08,649
Oh. [CHUCKLES]

187
00:07:08,650 --> 00:07:10,489
We haven't had dinner yet.

188
00:07:10,490 --> 00:07:11,589
Really?

189
00:07:11,590 --> 00:07:13,820
[GROANS]

190
00:07:13,830 --> 00:07:15,810
I don't feel like cookin'.

191
00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:22,740
I think my husband's
having a heart attack!

192
00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:25,639
NURSE: I need an RRT and a crash cart.

193
00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,009
Over here.

194
00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:30,940
Sir, are you having
chest pains right now?

195
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,199
Yeah, a little bit.

196
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,479
Any numbness or pain in your arms?

197
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:35,869
Maybe this one.

198
00:07:35,870 --> 00:07:37,110
Shortness of breath?

199
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,219
Enough questions.

200
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,719
He's a fat, middle-aged
man with chest pains.

201
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:40,720
Do something!

202
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:43,219
- All right.
- Sorry about the fat, honey.

203
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:45,319
You said you liked me this way.

204
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,220
[GRUNTS]

205
00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:48,959
Is Daddy gonna be okay?

206
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,059
Oh, yeah. Your Pop-Pop used to have

207
00:07:51,060 --> 00:07:53,299
little chest pains all the time.

208
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:55,299
Didn't he die of a heart attack?

209
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,200
Well, for insurance purposes, yes.

210
00:07:59,210 --> 00:08:00,669
[DOOR OPENS]

211
00:08:00,670 --> 00:08:02,739
Hey. What's goin' on?

212
00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:04,539
Dad's in the hospital.

213
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:06,619
What? Why's Dad in the hospital?

214
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,399
- He's gonna be fine.
- He had chest pains.

215
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:09,750
He's gonna be fine.

216
00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,889
What are we doin'? Why aren't
we going to the hospital?

217
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:13,650
Nobody's goin' nowhere.

218
00:08:13,750 --> 00:08:15,289
We're just gonna stay calm,

219
00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:17,789
have a nice dinner, and
wait for your mama to call

220
00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:19,289
and tell us what's what.

221
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,930
I'm not hungry.

222
00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:26,629
What did you mean by
"insurance purposes"?

223
00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:28,350
Just eat.

224
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,970
[LAUGHTER ON TV]

225
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:39,079
What kind of Texan drinks pink wine?

226
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,280
[PHONE RINGS]

227
00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:45,880
Hello.

228
00:08:45,890 --> 00:08:47,449
Hi, Mom. Kids okay?

229
00:08:47,450 --> 00:08:49,489
Yeah, they're fine. How's George?

230
00:08:49,490 --> 00:08:52,159
I don't know. They're running tests.

231
00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,529
Well, don't you worry
about us. [CHUCKLES]

232
00:08:55,530 --> 00:08:58,430
Everything's under control here.

233
00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:00,129
Okay.

234
00:09:00,130 --> 00:09:02,499
I'll call you when I know more.

235
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,399
How you holdin' up?

236
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,500
I guess I'm okay.

237
00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:08,990
Well, George is gonna
pull through this, honey.

238
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,109
I guarantee it.

239
00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:13,009
Thanks, Mom.

240
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,779
Thanks for bein' there.

241
00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:16,410
You bet.

242
00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:18,219
I'll call you later.

243
00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,380
Okay.

244
00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:20,850
Bye.

245
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,189
What'd she say?

246
00:09:24,190 --> 00:09:27,509
The doctors are doin' some
tests, but, dollars to donuts,

247
00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:30,259
your daddy's just got a bad case of gas.

248
00:09:30,260 --> 00:09:32,629
Y'all two go get ready for bed.

249
00:09:32,630 --> 00:09:34,340
I don't want to stay around here.

250
00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:36,489
I want to go to the
hospital and see Dad.

251
00:09:36,490 --> 00:09:38,739
Well, I want to go to Las
Vegas and see Willie Nelson,

252
00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:40,739
but that ain't gonna happen either.

253
00:09:40,740 --> 00:09:42,709
This is stupid.

254
00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:44,239
You know what's stupid?

255
00:09:44,240 --> 00:09:46,129
I got to drink pink wine!

256
00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:47,130
[DOOR SLAMS]

257
00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:48,409
Meemaw?

258
00:09:48,410 --> 00:09:49,610
What?

259
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,480
Is Dad really okay?

260
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,919
Yes.

261
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,090
I hope you're not bluffing.

262
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,429
You asleep?

263
00:10:07,430 --> 00:10:09,630
No.

264
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,569
Me neither.

265
00:10:11,570 --> 00:10:14,610
Every time the phone
rings, I get scared.

266
00:10:16,940 --> 00:10:18,509
Me, too.

267
00:10:18,510 --> 00:10:20,740
[KNOCKING]

268
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:23,110
I'm goin' to see Dad.
You guys want to come?

269
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,119
How? Meemaw said we have to stay here.

270
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,290
You want to go or not?

271
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:32,460
♪ ♪

272
00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:37,130
Shh.

273
00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:40,260
Shh.

274
00:10:40,270 --> 00:10:42,179
Who do I shush?

275
00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:44,100
- Shh!
- Shh!

276
00:10:47,370 --> 00:10:49,570
[SNORES SOFTLY]

277
00:11:01,790 --> 00:11:03,050
[KEYS JANGLE]

278
00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:07,120
[QUIETLY]: What are you doing?

279
00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:08,889
I'm driving to the hospital.

280
00:11:08,890 --> 00:11:11,459
You can come with me or
stay here... up to you.

281
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:13,529
I'm comin'.

282
00:11:13,530 --> 00:11:14,749
Sheldon?

283
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:15,999
You're 14.

284
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,699
You don't know how to drive.

285
00:11:17,700 --> 00:11:19,439
I drove a tractor at 4-H camp.

286
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:20,869
It's the same thing.

287
00:11:20,870 --> 00:11:23,239
But you sat on the farmer's lap.

288
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,470
Then stay here.

289
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,040
Come on, Missy.

290
00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:29,580
[SNORES LOUDLY]

291
00:11:31,460 --> 00:11:32,990
[ENGINE STARTS]

292
00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:37,250
- [CLICK]
- ♪ And I whine, I'm after you ♪

293
00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:39,019
What are you doin'?

294
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:40,689
Travelin' music.

295
00:11:40,690 --> 00:11:42,089
SHELDON: Ugh.

296
00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:43,759
I'm coming with you.

297
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:45,380
Why are you wearin' my helmet?

298
00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:48,159
I don't expect this to end well.

299
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,490
And the pillows?

300
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,370
Same answer.

301
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,100
Turn it off. I've got to concentrate.

302
00:11:54,110 --> 00:11:55,709
Aw.

303
00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,390
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- Okay,

304
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,029
seat belts, everybody.

305
00:11:59,030 --> 00:12:01,309
Please drive slowly.

306
00:12:01,310 --> 00:12:03,240
Relax. I know what I'm doin'.

307
00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:05,249
- Whoa!
- Whoa!

308
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:07,059
ADULT SHELDON: <i>I've often been asked</i>

309
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,089
<i>why I never learned to drive a car.</i>

310
00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:11,719
<i>This night...</i>

311
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,089
<i>is your answer.</i>

312
00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:15,429
Please slow down.

313
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,329
I'm goin' eight miles an hour.

314
00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:18,730
A cow just passed us.

315
00:12:18,740 --> 00:12:21,529
- Do you know how to get to the hospital?
- Yeah.

316
00:12:21,530 --> 00:12:23,530
It's right across the
street from the Dairy Queen.

317
00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:25,139
Which Dairy Queen?

318
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:26,569
What are you talkin' about?

319
00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:27,669
There's two.

320
00:12:27,670 --> 00:12:28,809
Really?

321
00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:29,740
You're gonna hit it!

322
00:12:29,741 --> 00:12:31,059
Which is the one Mom takes us to?

323
00:12:31,060 --> 00:12:32,330
You're gonna hit it!

324
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,349
Ooh, you're in trouble now!

325
00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:39,520
[PHONE RINGING]

326
00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:02,409
Yeah?

327
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:04,709
What took you so long to answer?

328
00:13:04,710 --> 00:13:06,840
Powdering my nose. What's it to ya?

329
00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:10,210
Sorry I asked. Just wanted
to give you an update.

330
00:13:10,220 --> 00:13:12,519
Y... What's goin' on?

331
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,419
They want to run some more tests.

332
00:13:14,420 --> 00:13:16,219
They're gonna hold him overnight.

333
00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:19,469
Oh. Oh, well, that's, that's
nothin' to worry about.

334
00:13:19,470 --> 00:13:21,130
That's just precautionary.

335
00:13:21,140 --> 00:13:22,659
How are the kids?

336
00:13:22,660 --> 00:13:25,049
Oh. [CHUCKLES] They
were a little worried,

337
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:27,129
but I handled it.

338
00:13:27,130 --> 00:13:28,269
They sleepin'?

339
00:13:28,270 --> 00:13:30,699
Um...

340
00:13:30,700 --> 00:13:32,380
Yeah, yeah.

341
00:13:32,390 --> 00:13:33,939
You bet.

342
00:13:33,940 --> 00:13:35,809
Thanks again for helpin'.

343
00:13:35,810 --> 00:13:37,170
Oh, hey,

344
00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:38,609
these are my grandchildren.

345
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,509
They are my blood.

346
00:13:40,510 --> 00:13:42,410
Okay. I better go.

347
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:44,580
Okay. We'll talk later.

348
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:49,080
[EXHALES]

349
00:13:57,460 --> 00:13:59,530
Son of a bitch.

350
00:14:01,700 --> 00:14:03,830
I hate those kids.

351
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,239
♪ ♪

352
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:09,470
MISSY: <i>Just admit it, we're lost.</i>

353
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,039
We're not lost.

354
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,109
Well, I sure don't see
a hospital anywhere.

355
00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:15,679
Why don't we ask
somebody for directions?

356
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:18,150
Because we're children in a car, genius.

357
00:14:19,180 --> 00:14:20,580
Dang it!

358
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:22,419
Are you aiming for them?

359
00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:24,450
Everybody just shut up. I got this.

360
00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:27,320
[SIREN WAILING]

361
00:14:27,330 --> 00:14:30,529
Oh, no. We're going to jail.

362
00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:32,129
Georgie's going to jail.

363
00:14:32,130 --> 00:14:33,699
I'm saying I was kidnapped.

364
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,129
SHELDON: That's a good plan.

365
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:36,909
You <i>and</i> I were kidnapped.

366
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,369
If I'm going to jail,
we're all going to jail.

367
00:14:39,370 --> 00:14:41,770
Oh, you better pull over.

368
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:48,549
GEORGE JR.: <i>Oh, thank God.</i>

369
00:14:48,550 --> 00:14:51,210
- Well, don't just sit there... follow it.
- Why?

370
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:53,619
It's an ambulance... It's
going to the hospital.

371
00:14:53,620 --> 00:14:55,830
Hang on.

372
00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:01,589
MISSY: <i>How about I put
the radio on real low?</i>

373
00:15:01,590 --> 00:15:03,090
GEORGE JR.: <i>Shut up.</i>

374
00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:05,299
Mary.

375
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,399
Mom!

376
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,329
- Where are they?
- Where's who?

377
00:15:08,330 --> 00:15:10,640
More importantly...

378
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,569
- how is George?
- SHELDON: Mom!

379
00:15:15,570 --> 00:15:17,839
- Ah. There they are!
- Hey. Oh.

380
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,440
MEEMAW: Ha! I lost the little rascals

381
00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:21,240
in the... hall.

382
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:22,949
I want to see Dad.

383
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:24,049
- Me, too.
- Me, too.

384
00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:25,519
The doctors are with him now.

385
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:26,780
I'll take you in a bit.

386
00:15:26,790 --> 00:15:28,049
Why are they here?

387
00:15:28,050 --> 00:15:30,019
I think it's obvious.

388
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:31,789
They love their daddy.

389
00:15:31,790 --> 00:15:34,960
No, I get that. Why
aren't they home in bed?

390
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,699
Well, nobody could sleep.

391
00:15:41,700 --> 00:15:43,970
I thought it was the right thing.

392
00:15:45,970 --> 00:15:47,200
Good bluff.

393
00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:49,169
Shh.

394
00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:50,409
Okay, thank you.

395
00:15:50,410 --> 00:15:52,329
You all need anything? You hungry?

396
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:53,540
- No.
- No, thank you.

397
00:15:53,550 --> 00:15:55,549
Okay, everybody sit tight.

398
00:15:55,550 --> 00:15:57,320
I'm gonna go check on your dad.

399
00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:00,840
Georgie.

400
00:16:01,750 --> 00:16:03,619
Give me my damn keys.

401
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:06,059
Oh, yeah. Here.

402
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:08,260
Thank you.

403
00:16:09,410 --> 00:16:11,409
How did I beat you here?

404
00:16:11,410 --> 00:16:13,510
We kept hitting garbage cans.

405
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:14,730
Oh, God.

406
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:16,669
I need to wash my hands.

407
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:19,600
- There are germs here that can kill you.
- Hold up.

408
00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:22,369
Now, y'all like it when
your meemaw babysits.

409
00:16:22,370 --> 00:16:25,359
Poker, candy, firecrackers.

410
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:26,779
- Yes.
- Yeah.

411
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:29,039
Well, if your mother ever finds out

412
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:30,679
what you did tonight,

413
00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,469
that is never gonna happen again.

414
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,999
I can't lie to my mother.

415
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,410
Sure you can. Believe in yourself!

416
00:16:45,230 --> 00:16:47,200
[MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY]

417
00:16:48,830 --> 00:16:50,730
[LABORED BREATHING]

418
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:52,870
[AMPLIFIED HEARTBEAT]

419
00:16:55,270 --> 00:16:57,070
[RAPID BEEPING]

420
00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:02,550
[WEAK EXHALE]

421
00:17:04,550 --> 00:17:06,550
[AMPLIFIED, RAPID HEARTBEAT]

422
00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:13,110
[PANTS QUIETLY]

423
00:17:33,410 --> 00:17:35,680
♪ ♪

424
00:17:46,350 --> 00:17:48,550
ADULT SHELDON: <i>Despite what it looks like,</i>

425
00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,590
<i>I didn't pray to God that night.</i>

426
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,050
<i>I prayed to Blaise Pascal.</i>

427
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:54,619
<i>My thinking was,</i>

428
00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:57,619
<i>if he was right about
the existence of God,</i>

429
00:17:57,620 --> 00:17:59,730
<i>then he could pass along my request</i>

430
00:17:59,740 --> 00:18:01,839
<i>for my dad to get better.</i>

431
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,809
<i>If he was wrong...</i>

432
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:05,009
<i>well...</i>

433
00:18:05,010 --> 00:18:08,380
<i>in this moment, I needed him to be right.</i>

434
00:18:13,950 --> 00:18:15,889
What's taking so long?

435
00:18:15,890 --> 00:18:16,909
Shh.

436
00:18:16,910 --> 00:18:19,289
Keep your voice down, car thief.

437
00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:21,689
I didn't steal your
car, I just borrowed it.

438
00:18:21,690 --> 00:18:24,790
You're gonna need to make bail someday.

439
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,199
Do not come to me.

440
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,429
MARY: Good news!

441
00:18:29,430 --> 00:18:30,830
Your daddy's gonna be fine.

442
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,169
- Should be home in a day or two.
- Oh!

443
00:18:33,170 --> 00:18:34,589
And was it a heart attack?

444
00:18:34,590 --> 00:18:36,169
Minor. No permanent damage.

445
00:18:36,170 --> 00:18:38,539
Oh! That's wonderful!

446
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:40,330
Our prayers have been answered.

447
00:18:41,310 --> 00:18:42,449
Come on, everybody,

448
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:44,379
let's say hello to your old dad.

449
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:46,719
♪ ♪

450
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:47,849
Come on.

451
00:18:47,850 --> 00:18:49,539
ADULT SHELDON: <i>For a brief moment,</i>

452
00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:53,189
<i>I was filled with the
healing power of faith.</i>

453
00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:56,240
<i>Then the next day, we
all got violently ill</i>

454
00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:59,600
<i>from Billy Sparks'
eggs, and I was over it.</i>

455
00:19:02,770 --> 00:19:05,830
I thought I'd talk this
morning about how it all began.

456
00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:09,379
Now, everybody knows how,
on the first day of creation,

457
00:19:09,380 --> 00:19:11,679
God said, "Let there be light."

458
00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,609
And there was light.

459
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:16,910
And when God saw that
light, he knew it was good.

460
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,019
[CONGREGATION MURMURING]

461
00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:19,780
Oh, here we go.

462
00:19:19,790 --> 00:19:21,419
Yes, Sheldon.

463
00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:24,529
You said he didn't create
the sun until day four.

464
00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:25,729
Yeah.

465
00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:28,069
So how could there be
light the first three days?

466
00:19:28,070 --> 00:19:29,790
God is light.

467
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,860
So God's a photon?

468
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,050
God's what made photons possible.

469
00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:37,959
And what day did he do that?

470
00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,420
I would think day one.

471
00:19:39,430 --> 00:19:42,529
If I grab my chest and keel over,
maybe we can get out of here.

472
00:19:42,530 --> 00:19:44,269
That's a terrible thing to say.

473
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,339
Because the first day had just begun.

474
00:19:46,340 --> 00:19:47,940
So, before the Big Bang?

475
00:19:47,950 --> 00:19:49,410
There was no Big Bang.

476
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:50,910
There was only the Word.

477
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,819
Was the word "kaboom"?

478
00:19:52,820 --> 00:19:54,019
Okay, do it.

479
00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:55,159
[GRUNTS]

480
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,359
We gotta go.

481
00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,690
[GRUNTING]

482
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:58,989
MISSY: What's happening?

483
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:00,640
- Is it over?
- Y-Yes.

484
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:05,950
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

