1 00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:06,455 Hey, what you reading? 2 00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:07,747 A magazine. 3 00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:10,174 Oh. Making a collage for school? 4 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:11,922 No, just reading it. 5 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:13,795 Look at that. 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,597 Maybe Sheldon isn't the only bookworm around here. 7 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:17,719 Which magazine? 8 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,642 - Cosmopolitan. - What? 9 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:21,515 It's a magazine for today's woman. 10 00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,645 Hey! I was about to find out what turns a man on. 11 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,100 Where'd you get this? 12 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,436 Heather. I traded a Fruit Roll-Up for it. 13 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,858 - Well, this is going in the garbage. - You sure? 14 00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:34,691 It's got some great tips on how to spice up your marriage. 15 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,485 My marriage is fine, thank you. 16 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:40,572 And you are not to bring filth like this into our house again. 17 00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,578 That's not fair. Sheldon reads dirty stuff 18 00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:44,500 all the time, and you don't say anything. 19 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,918 He does not. 20 00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,745 Check out the comic book on his desk. 21 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,212 (sighs) 22 00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,508 MARY: What? 23 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,881 Oh, my goodness. 24 00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:56,550 Oh. 25 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,347 Oh, my. 26 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,142 Hold on. No. No. 27 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:04,346 Th-This blue man's backside is all over the place. 28 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,273 On page 112, you get to see his front side. 29 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,935 (gasps) Oh! 30 00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:11,561 (sighs) 31 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:14,401 - I'll be back. - Where you going? 32 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,194 To give the owner of that comic book store 33 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,367 - a piece of my mind! - Cool. 34 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,619 And then I'm calling Heather's mom! 35 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,701 Aw. 36 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,284 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 37 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:29,120 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 38 00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:31,922 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 39 00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,626 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 40 00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:38,304 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 41 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:44,302 ♪ Someone told me long ago ♪ 42 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,437 ♪ There's a calm before the storm ♪ 43 00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:47,729 ♪ I know ♪ 44 00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,059 ♪ It's been coming for some time... ♪ 45 00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:53,611 Are there any Vietnamese superheroes? 46 00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,654 There's one called Half-Face. 47 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:57,239 Why? 48 00:01:57,743 --> 00:02:00,076 The communist government forced him to build bombs, 49 00:02:00,287 --> 00:02:02,074 and one blew off half his face. 50 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,621 The left half or the right half? 51 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:06,032 The bottom half. 52 00:02:06,585 --> 00:02:07,701 That's an important half. 53 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:08,750 (door bells jingle) 54 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:13,085 Excuse me. Did you sell this to my son? 55 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,507 I don't know. Who's your son? 56 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,300 The little boy in the corner. 57 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:20,881 - Which one? - Sheldon Cooper. 58 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,341 Oh. Yeah. 59 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,100 Look at him! 60 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,679 He is the same size as one of the dolls you sell here. 61 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:28,812 Those are action figures. 62 00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:30,811 Where is your sense of responsibility? 63 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,559 Have you looked inside this book? 64 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:33,393 Because I have. 65 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:34,773 ADULT SHELDON: At that moment, 66 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:38,106 I felt a subtle heat rising through my body. 67 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,533 I was used to being humiliated by my siblings 68 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,827 on a daily basis, but from my mother? 69 00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:44,737 This was new territory. 70 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,243 Mom, you're embarrassing me. 71 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:48,950 Oh, is that right? 72 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,580 Well, guess what. I don't care. 73 00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:52,253 And if I catch you doing it again, 74 00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:54,877 I'll be back with my husband; he is way scarier than me. 75 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,007 - I doubt that. - Let's go. 76 00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:58,884 But I came here with Tam. 77 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:00,798 Tam, you coming or not? 78 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:02,346 I'm good. 79 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:03,297 ♪ I want to know ♪ 80 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,134 ♪ Have you ever seen the rain? ♪ 81 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:08,344 ♪ I want to know ♪ 82 00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:11,351 ♪ Have you ever seen the rain... ♪ 83 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:12,647 (door closes) 84 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,731 As you can see, I'm not related to them. 85 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:21,444 WEATHERMAN (over radio): And in local weather, 86 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:24,528 the tornado watch issued Tuesday is still in effect for the area. 87 00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:27,409 Stay right here for updates as we get 'em. 88 00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,412 I don't understand why you'd even be interested 89 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:31,492 in a book like that. 90 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,294 One of the characters is a scientist 91 00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:35,041 who worked on the Manhattan Project. 92 00:03:35,257 --> 00:03:37,499 Well, it's filled with violence and nudity, 93 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,209 and you are done looking at it. 94 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:40,968 But comics are a form of art. 95 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,545 You wouldn't forbid me from looking 96 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,881 at Michelangelo's David just because he's nude. 97 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,012 When a statue of your naked blue fella 98 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,934 is on display at the Vatican, we'll talk. 99 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:52,435 Actually, David is at the Accademia Gallery in Florence. 100 00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:55,650 Doesn't matter. I don't want you looking at his bottom either. 101 00:03:58,697 --> 00:03:59,437 Where's Mom? 102 00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,239 Chewing out the guy who runs the comic book store. 103 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:03,066 Why? 104 00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,867 She found an inappropriate comic 105 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,195 that Sheldon had and went ballistic. 106 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,871 She also took my Cosmo. 107 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:10,997 What's a Cosmo? 108 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,200 A magazine for today's woman. 109 00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,410 Sucks for you. 110 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:18,623 You know, if I had something in my room she might disapprove of, 111 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,583 I might be looking for a real good hiding place 112 00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,043 right about now. 113 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,924 I think I'm okay. 114 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:25,629 Your air vent? 115 00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:30,893 (chuckles) 116 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:32,349 Boys are dumb. 117 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,765 D-U-M-B. 118 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,233 Dumb-a? 119 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:48,903 What are you doing? 120 00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,205 Confiscating your comic books. 121 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,203 You can have them back when you're 18. 122 00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,250 You're taking Casper the Friendly Ghost? 123 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,746 Ghosts are sacrilegious. Nothing friendly about that. 124 00:04:58,507 --> 00:04:59,588 Very well. 125 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,587 There's one more book that belongs in the box, 126 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:06,797 filled with adultery, genocide, and even human sacrifice. 127 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:09,682 You think you're so smart. 128 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:13,637 I do. And yet you continue to treat me like a child. 129 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:16,021 You know what? 130 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,600 You want me to treat you like an adult, you got it. 131 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:21,277 From this moment on, I am done mommy-ing you. 132 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:25,319 Wonderful. Does that mean I can have my comic books back? 133 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,322 Comic books are for children. You're an adult. 134 00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:40,376 ADULT SHELDON: My new adult responsibilities began that night. 135 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,627 Luckily, a cookbook is nothing more 136 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,254 than a set of instructions. 137 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,176 And if there's one thing I shine at, 138 00:05:46,388 --> 00:05:47,845 it's following instructions. 139 00:05:51,226 --> 00:05:52,433 Aw. 140 00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:57,142 - (blender whirring in kitchen) - What's Sheldon doing? 141 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,599 - Cooking his own dinner. - Why? 142 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,775 He wants to take care of himself like an adult. 143 00:06:01,987 --> 00:06:04,570 I plan on putting that off for as long as possible. 144 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,777 Really? It's a plan? 145 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,108 (clattering in kitchen) 146 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:10,067 Maybe I should go keep an eye on him. 147 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,199 No. Let him handle this on his own. 148 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,621 I wouldn't mind watching. 149 00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:15,539 (sighs) Let's just say grace. 150 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:18,037 - (loud clattering) - I can't. I got to go in there. 151 00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:19,118 If she's going, I'm going. 152 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:20,544 No one's going anywhere. 153 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,041 If he needs help, he can ask. 154 00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:23,623 SHELDON: I don't need help! 155 00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,670 Everything's under control! 156 00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,173 (sighs) 157 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,216 You're really holding the line on this one. 158 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,469 I'm sorry, but he just pushed my buttons. 159 00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:35,097 Don't be sorry. I'm diggin' it. 160 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:36,553 - Ew. - Gross. 161 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:37,761 I agree. 162 00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:39,601 Pretty gross. 163 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,439 Y'all are mean. 164 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,194 How was your chicken? 165 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:52,990 Not bad. The dish soap gave it a nice lemony flavor. 166 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,825 All right, bedtime. 167 00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,998 - Night, Mama. - Night, baby. 168 00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:59,370 Have sweet dreams. 169 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,918 - Love you. - Love you, too. 170 00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:02,374 (kisses) 171 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,251 Sheldon, I assume you don't need to be tucked in? 172 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,709 I can handle it, thank you. 173 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,017 Okay. 174 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,263 Wow. No good night kiss? 175 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,231 That's up to your brother. 176 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,232 That won't be necessary. 177 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:27,691 Fine. 178 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:31,690 (door closes) 179 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,446 (TV playing quietly) 180 00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:36,115 Had enough? You gonna back down? 181 00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,162 No. 182 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:38,865 He's real smart, but he needs to learn 183 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,450 he doesn't know everything. 184 00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,829 Woman, you are getting sexier by the second. Whew. 185 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,502 Hey, now that you're treating him like an adult, 186 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:48,958 can I have his allowance? 187 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:52,087 That allowance is for chores, which you already don't do. 188 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,672 Come on. We all know I'm your favorite. 189 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,058 You're not even his third favorite. 190 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,223 ADULT SHELDON: Making my school lunch the next morning 191 00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:06,605 - proved no easier than dinner. - (grunting, groaning) 192 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,061 Maybe you're turning it the wrong way. 193 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,021 (straining): Don't you have anything better to do? 194 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,898 Not better than this. 195 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,072 This is nothing a little science can't fix. 196 00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,199 All I need to do is break the pressure seal. 197 00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:22,457 (grunts) 198 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,244 I don't think that was enough science. 199 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,371 MARY: Morning, Missy. 200 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,331 - Morning, Sheldon. - Morning. 201 00:08:29,551 --> 00:08:31,008 Morning, Mary. 202 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:32,626 (clears throat) 203 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,213 Mom, you need to sign this consent form. 204 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:36,172 What's it for? 205 00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:37,385 Field trip. 206 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,932 - Where? - Museum. 207 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,889 - Which one? - Does it matter? 208 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,061 It's not like I'm gonna learn anything, anyway. 209 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,065 It's the planetarium at the science museum. 210 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,768 And I need you to sign mine, too. 211 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:51,024 Oh. It's interesting that an adult 212 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,481 would need his mother to sign a consent form. 213 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:54,656 And here we go. 214 00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,326 I don't need you to sign it, the school does. 215 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,153 So you're saying even the school doesn't think 216 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,160 that you're mature enough to make all your own decisions. 217 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:05,451 ADULT SHELDON: In that moment, 218 00:09:05,670 --> 00:09:09,914 I was so angry with her, I almost opened the jar. 219 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,090 (school bell rings) 220 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,754 I'm ready to go to college. 221 00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:21,137 Okay. Where you thinking? 222 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,095 Somewhere with a good science program, but far enough away 223 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:27,432 to make my mom cry herself to sleep every night that I'm gone. 224 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:29,600 You're applying to college out of spite? 225 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:31,894 I see why you're the guidance counselor. 226 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,025 Okay, let's see. 227 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,066 What about Caltech in Pasadena? 228 00:09:37,285 --> 00:09:39,277 I can't see myself living in California. 229 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,453 I don't trust their carefree lifestyle. 230 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,405 Okay. Um... 231 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,833 How about MIT in Boston? 232 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,956 Do they have a strong physics program? 233 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,461 They're more of an engineering school. 234 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:50,412 Next. 235 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,051 There's always Harvard. 236 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:02,342 Hmm. I don't like cold weather, but I do look good in maroon. 237 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,763 All right, Harvard it is. Thank you for your help. 238 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:08,768 Are you interested in applying to a safety school 239 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,269 in case you don't get in? 240 00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,064 Safety school. You're funny. 241 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,609 So, how was everyone's day? 242 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:18,532 I cut open a frog at school. 243 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:19,859 For science class? 244 00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:21,869 Sure. 245 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,329 We should put a lock on the knife drawer. 246 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,281 (sighs) 247 00:10:28,086 --> 00:10:28,917 What are you eating? 248 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,542 An English muffin with ketchup and spray cheese. 249 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,371 No fair. 250 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:33,455 Lucky. 251 00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,171 Sorry I spent an hour making meatloaf. 252 00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:37,376 MEEMAW: So, Moonpie, 253 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,302 how's adult life treating you? 254 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,504 Very well, actually. 255 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:42,430 I'm working on my application to Harvard. 256 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,307 Is that so? 257 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,431 Yes. And I'm planning on transferring there 258 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:47,932 as soon as possible. 259 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,930 You're not going away to Harvard. 260 00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,812 I don't believe you have a say in this. 261 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,277 Okay, well, 262 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:56,691 Harvard's real expensive. 263 00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,401 How do you plan on paying for it? 264 00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,278 Oh, I'm sure I'll get a scholarship. 265 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,534 - Oh, are you? - Yes, I am. 266 00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,452 (chuckles): Okay. Okay. 267 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,372 Let's just take a deep breath and talk about something else. 268 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:08,699 Fine. 269 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,620 I want to hear about that frog. 270 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:14,171 A different something else. 271 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:15,622 MARY: I just realized something. 272 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,505 College applications cost money just to send in. 273 00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,550 - They do? - $50, $60 a pop. 274 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,926 I don't believe you have that kind of money, do you? 275 00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:27,767 Will you excuse me? 276 00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:30,687 I have to go take a cold shower. 277 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:43,197 Hello, Randall. I would like to apply for a job. 278 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,194 - You would? - Yes. 279 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,746 I need to earn money so I can apply to Harvard. 280 00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,540 I thought about going to Harvard, 281 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,289 but then I realized The Shack is my passion. 282 00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:54,207 So can I work here? 283 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,081 Excuse me. How much RAM does this computer have? 284 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,337 Um, I can check on that for you. 285 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:04,297 It comes with 640 kilobytes, but it's expandable up to 768. 286 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:06,723 Well? 287 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:08,976 Do you even have a résumé? 288 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:12,809 No, but I have a report card that'll knock your socks off. 289 00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,356 And what's the processor speed? 290 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,981 It has the Intel 8286, so ten megahertz. 291 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,148 Sorry, Sheldon. 292 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,905 I think it's against company policy to hire little kids. 293 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,736 But people say I'm like an old man all the time. 294 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:31,415 Hey, I'm one of 'em, but the answer's still no. 295 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:32,790 ADULT SHELDON: When people wonder 296 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,619 why Radio Shack eventually went out of business, 297 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,629 you can point to this moment. 298 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:38,921 (electronic door chime sounds) 299 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,254 Meemaw? 300 00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:43,426 Meemaw? 301 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,140 Hey! Looking sharp. 302 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:51,310 You're not gonna try to sell me a set of knives, are you? 303 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,062 - No. - It's a joke. 304 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,811 'Cause of the suit. 305 00:12:57,902 --> 00:12:58,642 Okay. 306 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,354 I need money for my Harvard application, 307 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:04,110 and was wondering if there are any jobs I could do. 308 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:07,033 Hmm. My yard could use a little weeding. 309 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,445 I'm not terribly fond of outdoor work. 310 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:12,657 Plus, that garden gnome terrifies me. 311 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,201 Ernesto has that effect on people. 312 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,911 How much does the job pay? 313 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,746 Well, let me think. How about a dollar an hour? 314 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,457 - How about five dollars an hour? - How about 50 cents an hour? 315 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:22,883 Wait a minute. What just happened? 316 00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:26,303 - I'll tell you what. I'll give you a dollar. - Thank you. 317 00:13:28,266 --> 00:13:29,302 (laughs quietly) 318 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,258 (TV playing quietly) 319 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,013 - Hey. - Hey. 320 00:13:33,396 --> 00:13:35,854 You know how you think I can't do anything for myself? 321 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,482 I do think that, yes. 322 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:40,685 Well, I have something I'd like to show you. 323 00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:44,442 - You did some chores? - Come see for yourself. 324 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,486 I don't know if I'm ready for another heart attack, 325 00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,409 but here we go. 326 00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:53,864 Feast your eyes. 327 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,501 You did all this? 328 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:02,960 I did. 329 00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,134 You shoved everything in the closet, didn't you? 330 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,382 Take a look. 331 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,523 I am impressed. 332 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:21,942 You should be. 333 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,731 There may be hope for you yet. 334 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:35,159 I thought that showed ingenuity. 335 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,709 - Okay, here you go. - (wind rushing) 336 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:43,335 I got you a shovel and a bucket and some gloves. 337 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:46,170 Did you check the gloves for spiders? 338 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,253 Is this my first day as Meemaw? 339 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:52,176 ELMER FUDD (over TV): It's not? 340 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,804 No. It's duck-hunting season. 341 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:58,558 That, sir, is an in-mitigated fabrication! 342 00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:01,186 - It's wabbit season! - Duck season. 343 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,187 (alarm blaring over TV) 344 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:05,110 Not again. What's wrong, baby? 345 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,608 I'm trying to hear about duck season and wabbit season, 346 00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,282 but they keep talking about this stupid tornado. 347 00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:13,327 MAN (over TV): The National Weather Service has issued a tornado watch 348 00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:16,997 for the following counties: Angelina... 349 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,537 (wind whistling softly) 350 00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:23,788 Hey, Shelly, how's it going over there? 351 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:25,963 I hate everything about this. 352 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:27,215 (chuckles quietly) 353 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:28,793 You need to come home with me. 354 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,297 No. I'm working. 355 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:32,797 There is a tornado watch. Let's go! 356 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:35,098 Oh, come on, Mary. We've had a watch 357 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,801 every day for two months; nothing ever happens. 358 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,015 SHELDON: I think you're just worried 359 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:40,095 I'm earning the money 360 00:15:40,314 --> 00:15:41,976 to send in my college application. 361 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:45,059 I am worried it is not safe out here. Let's go! 362 00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,019 I can worry about my own safety, thank you. 363 00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:48,774 I don't care if you think you're an adult. 364 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:52,154 - I'm your mother, and you will do as I say. - (siren blaring in distance) 365 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:53,863 Well, that ain't good. 366 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:55,444 You believe me now? 367 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:57,574 Mom? 368 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:12,760 (thunder rumbling) 369 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,213 (glass shatters in distance) 370 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,091 - I'm scared! - It's gonna be okay. 371 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:17,925 GEORGE SR.: Georgie! 372 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,306 - Help me get this in front of the window. - On it. 373 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,224 - Is this my bed? - Yeah. 374 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:26,854 Aw, it took me an hour to make it. 375 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,230 (sighs) 376 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,029 You okay, Moonpie? 377 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:32,943 I'm all right. 378 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,492 - I'm not. This is scary. - We're gonna be fine. 379 00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,285 This'll blow through in a few minutes. 380 00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,784 (wind howling, debris clattering outside) 381 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:43,621 I need to pee. 382 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,077 Can you hold it, baby? 383 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,666 We'll find out. 384 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,342 I'm not all right anymore! 385 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,795 Flashlights, guys! 386 00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:57,506 What if it hits us and we all die? 387 00:16:57,725 --> 00:17:00,684 It's not gonna hit us! I might hit you. 388 00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:01,976 (thunder cracks) 389 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,180 But first, I'm gonna hold you. 390 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:07,061 (house rumbling, glass shatters) 391 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:09,893 In the name of Jesus, I place a hedge of protection 392 00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:12,195 around this house and my family. 393 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:15,274 I command this storm to skip over our home 394 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:16,734 in Jesus' name. 395 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:17,780 I wish peace 396 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,112 to every single person in this room 397 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,497 and declare that not one of us will get hurt 398 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,291 in this storm, in Jesus' name! 399 00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:26,960 (wind howling) 400 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,586 Pray harder! 401 00:17:28,798 --> 00:17:29,709 Okay. 402 00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,711 (thunder cracks) 403 00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,417 (storm fades) 404 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,421 (birds chirping) 405 00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:44,390 ADULT SHELDON: The good news was most of our neighborhood was spared. 406 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:45,512 MARY: Oh. 407 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,688 The bad news: my mother thought 408 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,436 she had something to do with it. 409 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,393 Looks like your house is okay. 410 00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:54,320 You were just worried I might have to come live with you. 411 00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,945 Oh, I think the word you're looking for is "terrified." 412 00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:59,484 Hmm. Better go check on it. 413 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:00,865 I'll come with you. 414 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,412 Be careful. 415 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:06,783 Mom? 416 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:08,164 Yeah, baby? 417 00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,003 (door opens) 418 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:22,508 You would not believe the pee I just took. 419 00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:28,389 ♪ I see skies of blue ♪ 420 00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,565 ♪ For me and you ♪ 421 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,735 ♪ And I say to myself ♪ 422 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:39,275 ♪ What a wonderful world. ♪