1 00:00:07,465 --> 00:00:09,259 I can't believe it arrived. 2 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:14,889 - Me too. I'm so excited. What is it? - Only an authentic piece of movie history 3 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,767 I got from Hollywood Harold's estate sale for nothing 4 00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:20,562 because I was the only one who recognized the insignia. 5 00:00:20,645 --> 00:00:24,149 Having memorabilia like this will attract so many customers. 6 00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:26,151 Great idea. What took so long? 7 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:28,319 He tripped off the Space Needle months ago. 8 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,739 My Lucite guy has been pretty backed up 9 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:35,702 ever since they decided to give every kid in this generation a trophy. Am I right? 10 00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:36,995 [laughs] 11 00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:39,664 Carlos, drumroll. 12 00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,291 - No chance. - You have a Lucite guy? 13 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:44,461 We deserve a trophy for letting you work out your standup on us. 14 00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:46,755 [imitates drumroll] 15 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:51,801 [imitates cymbal crash] 16 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,179 It's a plate. 17 00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:56,014 Not just any plate. Right? 18 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,099 - Please. - Of course not. 19 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:02,562 This is the plate Anthony Hopkins used to serve Ray Liotta his own brains 20 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:03,521 in Hannibal. 21 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,941 - Shut up. - How was he alive to eat his own brain? 22 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:08,359 It's a commemorative plothole. 23 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:12,947 - Well, well, well, look who's late. - Did you lose car keys at bingo again? 24 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,282 [all laugh] 25 00:01:14,365 --> 00:01:17,535 She lost track of time debating if she needed a light jacket. 26 00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:21,414 Or had to cut her reading glasses out of her hair again. 27 00:01:22,707 --> 00:01:24,209 Guys, it's not her fault. 28 00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:28,129 She had to drive back in time to get minutes for her Jitterbug. 29 00:01:29,839 --> 00:01:32,383 Actually, I'm just back from a funeral. 30 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:35,095 My best friend Helen died. 31 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:39,766 Damn, Eliza. I bet you wish you could drive back in time 32 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,434 and not be such a jerk. 33 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,979 I was joking. We were joking. You guys said mean stuff too. 34 00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:46,397 Yours was terrible. 35 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:47,982 You took it way too far. 36 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,652 Can't believe I'll never see Helen again. Or hug her. 37 00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:53,947 Or dish about our favorite telenovela, El Espia y La Tia. 38 00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:55,490 "The Spy and the Aunt"? 39 00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:57,867 - It rhymes in Spanish. - Right. 40 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,496 Sorry. Did you wear your Blockbuster uniform to the funeral? 41 00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,915 Of course not. I know better than that. 42 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:05,875 I had a skirt on. 43 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,048 [theme music playing] 44 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,553 [printer whirring] 45 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:23,226 I don't understand why he needs an unabridged iTunes user agreement, 46 00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:28,606 Paula Deen's cookbook, or a transcription of Ghislaine Maxwell's court case. 47 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,150 Those are definitely my dad's. 48 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:33,319 He likes to read court transcripts, says the visuals are distracting. 49 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,822 At least he's got tickets to a self-help book reading. 50 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:39,784 - Only Up From Here. - Actually, it's Only Up From Her. 51 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,202 Medea wrote a self-help book? 52 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:44,622 No, it's about how to rebuild a marriage after infidelity 53 00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,457 through the lens of the Clintons. 54 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,001 I'm taking Aaron tomorrow night. 55 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,546 Wow, good for you for working on your marriage. 56 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:53,923 And you seem really happy. Glowing. 57 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:57,010 But just as a reminder, this is a work printer. 58 00:02:57,093 --> 00:03:00,096 Is it? 'Cause you sure do let Percy use it a lot. 59 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,974 I don't mind doing things that help my best pal. 60 00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:05,768 He obviously only uses it for important stuff. 61 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,606 Last week, he printed his own 15-page bridge to "Uptown Funk." 62 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,317 He's a surprisingly proficient lyricist, but still. 63 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,986 Doesn't it bother you that Percy walks all over you? 64 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,614 It probably would if he did, but he doesn't. 65 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:21,743 This is the man that made you break in his Timberlands in the summer 66 00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,328 so they'd be fall-ready. 67 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:28,541 They're Timbs, and you don't get me and Percy's relationship. He's my... 68 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:32,795 - If you say brother from another mother... - [scoffs] No, I wasn't gonna say that. 69 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,508 [clears throat] You just don't understand how much he's done for me. 70 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:40,595 I lived at his house when my parents were divorcing. 71 00:03:40,678 --> 00:03:42,513 We're basically blood brothers, 72 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,391 except Percy backed out after I had cut my hand. 73 00:03:45,975 --> 00:03:50,396 You guys need to stop being uptight and take a puff of this imaginary blunt. 74 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,190 [imitates lighter flicking] 75 00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:53,775 No? No? More for me. 76 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,571 Hey, Slim Tim. Here for my pages. 77 00:03:58,655 --> 00:04:01,699 - Uh-oh. - [Timmy laughs] 78 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:04,619 You know what it is. Let me hit that right there. 79 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:08,831 - Hey, we should hotbox in my car. - Let's do it. 80 00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,251 - Little loose for me. - No, it's perfect. 81 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,378 - Really? - [Timmy] Hey, pass it. 82 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:14,295 [Percy] Oh, sorry. 83 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:16,547 [both laughing] 84 00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,259 Hey, Con. 85 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,512 I just wanted to apologize for my joke earlier. 86 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,222 I didn't start that run, 87 00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:27,058 but I can't apologize for everyone's actions. 88 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:31,813 I can't stop thinking about everything Helen, Yolanda and I used to do together. 89 00:04:31,896 --> 00:04:34,023 We were the three muchachas. 90 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,817 Aw, that's so cute. 91 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:39,946 We'd watch our stories, cheerlead for the old men playing chess, 92 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:44,075 and of course, collect our favorite Intimate Angels figurines. 93 00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:46,744 [Eliza] Ew! Sorry. I meant: 94 00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:52,000 Ew! Sorry. I can't think of other words. How did that toddler couple make a baby? 95 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:52,917 I don't know. 96 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,545 [Eliza] Maybe it's like a Benjamin Button situation. 97 00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:58,381 But which way? Because either is a crime. 98 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:01,592 - That's not the point. - I can't decide which is more upsetting. 99 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:04,178 That the toddler got pregnant, which means they had sex, 100 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:09,183 - or that the toddler is having periods. - Eliza. Is that why you came over here? 101 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:13,271 - To make fun of my cherished memories? - I'm so sorry. Please go on. 102 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:14,981 They're highly collectible. 103 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:19,652 - This one was Helen's. - At least you still have Yolanda. 104 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,321 Yolanda lives in Long Lake. 105 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:24,198 That's 45 minutes away, a 20 pee-stop trip. 106 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,993 I'll probably see Helen again before I see her. 107 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:31,080 Excuse me. Can you help me find the film The Da Vinci Code? 108 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:35,126 Could I interest you in a telenovela about undercover aunts instead? 109 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:36,919 It's not historical fiction 110 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,505 but at least it's honest about dying alone. 111 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,841 Sorry. She's going through something. 112 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:45,178 We do have The Da Vinci Code and the sequel. 113 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:46,471 Angels & Demons? 114 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:50,641 Technically, that's a prequel because that came before the book. 115 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,725 It's over there. 116 00:05:56,773 --> 00:06:00,109 You know, maybe I could be your soap-watching buddy. 117 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,444 Really? 118 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,279 Okay. 119 00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:08,034 Oh, you're gonna love El Espia y La Tia. 120 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:10,370 - You only have to catch up on 20... - Seasons? 121 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,456 - Years. Three seasons per year. - Sixty seasons? 122 00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:18,252 Wow! That is a lot of coolness. 123 00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,796 I'll go get my tapes. 124 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:20,879 Okay. 125 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,467 We've made peace with Timmy's codependence thing for Percy, 126 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,052 but it's creeping into work too. 127 00:06:26,135 --> 00:06:28,596 No offense, Kayla, but he takes employee parking spots 128 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:32,225 so he can use his for his Airbnb trailer. He flat out steals our snacks. 129 00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:35,853 And any time I raise my voice, he says, "Kitty's got claws." 130 00:06:35,937 --> 00:06:38,689 Yeah. My dad's got his bad side. And his other bad side. 131 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,984 Last month, he used so much of our ink, we couldn't print out our paychecks. 132 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,945 I couldn't get tickets to Mumford & Sons. 133 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:46,322 Now I just have to hear their songs in commercials. 134 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:50,701 - I might side with Percy on that. - I can't believe Timmy's oblivious to it. 135 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:53,037 I'm gonna say something to him. 136 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,666 I don't get paid to deal with Percy. He describes me as "also gay for girls." 137 00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,836 - Yuck. - Honestly, for my dad, that's progress. 138 00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:04,757 So they want you to click wherever on the screen 139 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:08,261 and hope for the best. And that's how you play Minesweeper. 140 00:07:08,344 --> 00:07:11,305 Wow! That's crazy. 141 00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:14,350 Cool. Again, that's not why I came in here. 142 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:16,602 So you know how I'm an accounting major, right? 143 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,730 So it got me thinking, when is the last time 144 00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:22,608 you did an accounting of the relationships here? 145 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,694 Is this about Aaron and Eliza's relationship? 146 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:25,611 Did they break up? 147 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,865 Connie told me that Eliza told her that he's not good enough for her. 148 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,284 When you hear it from someone else, it's more true 149 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:34,328 - than when you hear it... - No. This is not some gossip from Connie. 150 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,247 Oh, well, doesn't matter. 151 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:40,668 I shouldn't even care about Eliza because I've moved on. I have. 152 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:43,087 - I'm actually dating. - Really? Who? 153 00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:47,133 Well, no one yet, but I am looking to meet someone in the real world 154 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,303 because you can't find a "you complete me" on an app. 155 00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:53,931 Although, apparently, You Complete Me is an app for people who are into Wordle. 156 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:54,932 Sexually. 157 00:07:55,016 --> 00:08:00,062 Got it. What about your relationship with, um...? Hmm. 158 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,900 What about your relationship with Percy? Anything there? 159 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:07,236 Maybe your relationship isn't as equal as it should be. 160 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,531 Might be time to ask for respect, set boundaries. 161 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:13,409 - Like you did with your parents. - You think? 162 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,535 I don't know. 163 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,120 [microwave beeping] 164 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,205 Nah, we're good. 165 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:20,833 [sniffing] Oh. 166 00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:22,001 What's that smell? 167 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:23,920 [microwave humming] 168 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,423 Ew. 169 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,842 Dude, are you reheating a litter box? 170 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,719 It's my leftover tilapia parm. 171 00:08:31,802 --> 00:08:33,262 - [bang] - [Carlos gasps] 172 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,765 See, that's why I used your microwave. 173 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:37,225 [chuckles] 174 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,393 You might wanna air that out, dawg. 175 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:42,230 Oh. Good call, P-train, will do. 176 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:48,819 - Percy. What's that plate? - The only serving dish y'all had in here. 177 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,822 I found it in your plate Hall of Fame thing. 178 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,200 Anywho, I'll tap in later, dawg. 179 00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:55,409 Y'all be cool. 180 00:08:56,327 --> 00:09:00,373 - Mm! This is gonna be good. - Well, I did try to warn you. 181 00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:01,707 That tears it. 182 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,752 The plate tears it? Not when he tried to evict you? 183 00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:07,171 Didn't he try to get Michigan to believe you were dead? 184 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:10,007 That bothered me too. So did all that other stuff. 185 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:13,594 But this time I'm gonna do something about it just like I did with my parents. 186 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:17,515 - Sorry, are you lightheaded? - Oh, man. The smell is inside of us. 187 00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:21,102 So, Felipe the merman slaps his sister Gabriella's son, 188 00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:22,728 forcing Gabriella to kill Felipe. 189 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,064 But before Felipe is given a funeral, 190 00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:27,650 his hands are cut off and donated to Mateo, 191 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:31,737 a recently amputated D-level jazz pianist in town for a gig 192 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,156 - he cannot do without hands. - Of course. 193 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,534 Then Gabriella and her son, who they Aunt Viv 194 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:39,370 from a 12-year-old actor to a 4-year-old between seasons, 195 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:40,371 run into Mateo. 196 00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:46,210 His hands become possessed, and bam, Gabriella's son is slapped again. 197 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,841 But why is this Mateo getting slapped in this scene? 198 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:53,926 And he's his own uncle? 199 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,180 What are you not following? No way you got into Harvard. 200 00:09:58,806 --> 00:09:59,682 [Carlos] You got this. 201 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,768 You are a semi-respectable adult and deserve to be treated as such. 202 00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,688 - That's right. I am. - Timbo Slice. 203 00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,608 - What's up? - What's up? 204 00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,943 - What's up? - Guess what day it is. 205 00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,654 - Guess what day it is. - Guess what day it is. 206 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,906 - Hump day! - Hump day! 207 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,575 It's fully Thursday. 208 00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:20,411 What are we gonna get into today? Know what we should do? 209 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:21,829 Make our own Borat. 210 00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:24,624 - Oh. - [Percy] Ooh! 211 00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:28,628 Um, actually, I can't, man. Because I sort of need to... 212 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:32,006 Of course you can't. You never can hang out anymore. 213 00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:36,677 - What's that supposed to mean? - You be working or whining about Eliza. 214 00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:39,430 Okay, this isn't about Eliza. 215 00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:42,558 This is about you taking advantage of my business. 216 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:47,772 Whoa, kitty's got claws. Of course, I've intercepted a few boxes 217 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:51,108 of Blockbuster hand soap, but doesn't it balance out? 218 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,944 It would take a hundred lifetimes for it to balance out. 219 00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:57,698 Ever since we met trading ALF pogs, you've treated me like crap. 220 00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:00,242 You remember back in high school when you convinced me 221 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,578 the word "chode" meant awesome guy? 222 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,998 Then I met Rick Mahorn and called him a chode so many times, 223 00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:09,085 he tore up my basketball card and almost beat my ass. 224 00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:12,922 Because I knew your getaway speed was faster than a power forward's. 225 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:14,173 This ends now. 226 00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:17,176 Stop using my microwave, stop using my printer, 227 00:11:17,259 --> 00:11:19,762 stop using my deodorant, and stop using me. 228 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,101 [Percy] You know what? 229 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,729 You're right. You're absolutely right. 230 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,899 I'm gonna be a better friend. 231 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:33,693 Really? 232 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:36,612 Mm-hmm. I hear you loud and clear. 233 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,696 Okay. 234 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:38,906 Okay. 235 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:41,492 Okay. 236 00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:42,575 [Percy] Okay. 237 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,248 - Uh, that went great. - Yeah. 238 00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:50,751 - I mean, the truly best case. I'm stunned. - Right? 239 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,295 Did you feel like you were watching Greta Thunberg? 240 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:55,756 Wonder if any security cameras got that. 241 00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,469 Oh, I tried subbing in as Connie's friend. 242 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,264 I'm at least 30 years too young for the job. 243 00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:06,350 Thirty? Wait, you think the number's 30? 244 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:07,977 Fine, 20. 245 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:08,978 Leave me alone. 246 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:14,442 Look, I need help convincing Connie to hang out with her other friend Yolanda. 247 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:18,070 Oh, that's not gonna happen. She lives 45 whole minutes away. 248 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,989 I know, but it has to. 249 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,074 I cannot keep watching that soap. 250 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:25,619 Even the YouTube recaps are like three hours per season. 251 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,414 Old folks just get locked into their routines. 252 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:32,293 - Connie reminds me of my dad. - Let's try to get them to be friends. 253 00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:35,755 - They live ten minutes from each other. - Dad doesn't drive anymore. 254 00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,214 What if Connie drives to him? 255 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:41,010 That's a no go. He says men and women can never be just friends. 256 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,762 It's always sexual. 257 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:47,266 [scoffs] That's dumb. Look at me and Timmy. We're just friends. 258 00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:49,685 We are. 259 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:52,688 Hannah, your dad doesn't drive but still has sex? 260 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,648 He lets women drive to him for sex. 261 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:57,777 Oh! Yeah, at a certain age, you wanna keep it close to home. 262 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:01,071 - Wait. That gave me an idea. - You're not my dad's type. 263 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:06,535 You're very pretty. Just not nearly as sturdy as he likes. 264 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,371 Hey. Can I use your pisspot? 265 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,750 Um... Gross, but fine. 266 00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,501 Thanks. 267 00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:18,214 Hey. Can me and my customers use your bathroom? 268 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,759 Get your mind out of the gutter. We're not going at the same time. 269 00:13:21,842 --> 00:13:23,260 I didn't think that... 270 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:25,554 You can go after Carol. 271 00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:33,229 Hey, Con. 272 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:37,024 What if I told you there were other lonely women in your area 273 00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:38,484 and you could meet them 274 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:42,321 without ever leaving the comfort of your strip mall. 275 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:45,241 Last time I tried, I ended up handcuffed to a water heater. 276 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:49,703 What? No. We just wanna help find you a friend with similar interests. 277 00:13:49,787 --> 00:13:53,082 None of us can watch 20 years of El Espia y La Tia. 278 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,208 Or want to. 279 00:13:54,291 --> 00:13:57,294 Fine. My friend already died. 280 00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,048 What else do I have to lose? 281 00:14:03,050 --> 00:14:04,134 That's the spirit. 282 00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:10,266 So where do you see yourself in five years? 283 00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:13,894 Retired to my cabin. I take a little bit of poison every day. 284 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:16,522 Not to hurt myself. To make myself stronger. 285 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,608 That's why she doesn't have any teeth. 286 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,236 You on Facebook? I can send you some info. 287 00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:23,153 Ooh! 288 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:26,657 Fair warning. She only posts selfies with dead animals and Tucker Carlson memes. 289 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,617 - Sure. - It was nice to see you. 290 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:32,079 Ooh! I'm always looking for new friends. Excuse me a moment. 291 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:33,539 [barking] 292 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:39,420 I'm sorry. What was I saying? 293 00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:40,503 Run. 294 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:45,259 Wow, it sounds like you and Connie have so much in common. 295 00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:48,012 I guess so. You'll have to come by my house 296 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:51,181 so we can finish the new season of El Espia together. 297 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:55,227 - Oh, I'd love to. Where do you live? - I'm only about an hour away. 298 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:59,231 - Thank you for wasting everyone's time. - [Hannah] There had to be a catch. 299 00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:01,066 Wow! 300 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:04,904 Ah! Busy, busy, busy. 301 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,406 Vision boards work, people. 302 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:11,118 Hello. Can I help you pick a movie? 303 00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:14,201 - Perhaps something with Dick Van Dyke? - I'm here because all the bathrooms 304 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:16,582 - in the mall are closed. - Is that right? 305 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:20,544 [Percy] Ooh! That's my dawg. [laughs] 306 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:24,423 I figured I'd swing by and say, "You're welcome." 307 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:26,091 Uh, for what? 308 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:29,261 I shut down water in the shopping center for plumbing upgrades, 309 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:33,432 but I needed to leave one bathroom open for folks to use. 310 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:36,727 So I figured I should be a better friend to my dawg, Tim, 311 00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:38,437 and leave his bathroom open. 312 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:42,524 [Carlos] No, no. No cutting. No cutting. Thanks. 313 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,696 Your mother was such a beautiful soul. 314 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:50,324 Her figurine? 315 00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:53,953 Uh, was it gone before or after I left? 316 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,455 Well, good luck. Bye. 317 00:15:57,331 --> 00:16:01,001 Hey. We're sorry we couldn't find you a new friend. 318 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,462 We really did wanna come through for you. 319 00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:06,256 We had no idea there were so many flavors of old weirdo. 320 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,635 I'd say it's fine, but you guys got my hopes up 321 00:16:09,718 --> 00:16:12,638 telling me you could find the Gayle to my Oprah. 322 00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:15,599 But all you've been giving me is Dr. Phils. 323 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:17,059 I'm sorry. 324 00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:21,480 Maybe all we should've tried to give you was a hug. 325 00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:25,317 [Connie, distorted] Oh! 326 00:16:30,114 --> 00:16:31,323 Your hooves! 327 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,952 - Guys, one side, please. - Folks, one line. 328 00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:37,913 - The middle is not a side. Thank you. - One line, thank you. 329 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:41,542 I do not get it. How is anything you did triggering to Percy? 330 00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:43,419 Everything is triggering to him. 331 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:46,213 It's been that way our whole lives. He's super sensitive. 332 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:48,757 That's why I let stuff go, because he always overreacts 333 00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,759 and it becomes a bigger pain to deal with. 334 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,387 Sorry. Maybe you should've let this one go. My bad. I... 335 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,805 No, screw that. 336 00:16:54,888 --> 00:16:58,100 - He's the one who will be sorry. - I think you've having a breakthrough. 337 00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:01,687 Unclear if it's a "through" or a "down," but either way I'm about to end this. 338 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,397 [woman] Excuse me. Can I...? 339 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,233 No, you cannot shit in my bathroom. 340 00:17:06,316 --> 00:17:09,820 This is my place, and no one shits in my bathroom but me. 341 00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:13,657 I'm about to barrel down and take the biggest shit you could imagine. 342 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:14,741 [gasps] 343 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,411 Timmy, what have you done? 344 00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:19,371 [chuckles] Cool, man. 345 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:24,001 I was actually gonna say, "Can I introduce myself?" 346 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:28,172 My mom owns the Hot Piece of Bass, and I grew up loving Blockbuster, 347 00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:30,424 and I was excited to see one still existed. 348 00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:33,177 Timmy Yoon, nice to meet you. And you are? 349 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:35,053 Leaving. 350 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,977 I'm out of here. I can only deuce where there's good vibes. 351 00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:50,611 Sure are a lot of colors with "slut" in the name, huh? 352 00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:53,238 I'm so sorry. We'll get this fixed for you. 353 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,032 Patrice, we need nail glue. 354 00:17:55,115 --> 00:17:57,618 You have to be licensed to use it. 355 00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:59,328 It's an emergency, Patrice. 356 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:07,002 There are only seven of these postpartum toddler figurines in circulation. 357 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,088 How did you know that? 358 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,175 How could I not? It was the last Intimate Angel 359 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:16,595 sculpted by Victor Fenton before he was ousted from the company. 360 00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:21,350 All these years, I didn't know you were into Intimate Angels. 361 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,352 The reason I am where I am today 362 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:26,980 is because I know how to separate business and pleasure. 363 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,108 That's the title of my memoir. 364 00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:32,111 Where I Am Today: The Connie Serrano Story. 365 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:37,699 I always say memoirs are the light in the tunnel of our collective soul. 366 00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:41,078 When do you clock out? 367 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:42,161 Soon. 368 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,038 Soon. 369 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,335 Hi, Percy, I'm here to punch you. 370 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,554 Hey. I just wanted to apologize for... 371 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,597 Announcing today's stool schedule? 372 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,224 Yes, that was weird. 373 00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:04,601 I'm in a weird space right now. 374 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:08,856 I wonder if my manager will give me a weird space day, like a sick day. JK. 375 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:10,983 I don't have a manager because I'm the owner. 376 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,402 Maybe we could just start over. 377 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,239 I'm Timmy, and I'm sorry. 378 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:19,991 I'm Lena. 379 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,912 And I'm new at this glamorous job, 380 00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:26,748 where I'm tasked with organizing and hanging up fishing lures 381 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,168 because my nephews fell through my mom's skylight, 382 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,461 and now I have to help her. 383 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:33,463 Well, I'm glad to hear that. 384 00:19:33,547 --> 00:19:34,547 Really? 385 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,593 No, not that your nephews fell on your mom 386 00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,344 because those twins sound horrible. 387 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:43,724 Maybe they had a reason for falling. People fall for a lot of reasons. 388 00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:44,892 Right? Like you. 389 00:19:44,975 --> 00:19:47,686 You fell from the sky as well because you're an angel. 390 00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:49,396 Hello, I am new at talking. 391 00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:50,939 [Lena laughs] 392 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,775 Um, I accept your apology. 393 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,944 Well, it was very nice to meet you. 394 00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:01,700 I have to punch my landlord slash ex-best friend in the face, 395 00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,369 but afterwards, you wanna grab a drink? 396 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:06,747 That sounds nice. 397 00:20:06,830 --> 00:20:07,830 Cool. 398 00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:19,300 Percy. 399 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:22,012 Percy, this ends now. 400 00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:24,598 Percy, what the hell is your problem? 401 00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:26,016 I miss you, okay? 402 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:31,021 I miss you, man. That's my problem. 403 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,649 - It is? - Yeah, man. 404 00:20:33,732 --> 00:20:37,069 - I feel like you don't need me anymore. - What are you talking about? 405 00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:40,822 You're either working, with Eliza, or trying to get with Eliza. 406 00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:42,241 That's over now. 407 00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:46,453 Man, you're like this award-nominated small business owner now. 408 00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:49,873 In my experience, everybody tends to outgrow me. 409 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,042 Just like my wife. 410 00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:55,796 [both as Borat] My wife? 411 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,507 Well, my ex-wife. 412 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:01,802 Come on, man. I will never outgrow you. 413 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,639 Sorry we haven't been chilling as much lately, 414 00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:08,183 and sorry I came in a little hot earlier. 415 00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:11,186 I just learned the word "boundaries," thanks to my parents, 416 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,772 and I'm figuring out how to apply them, 417 00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:16,733 especially with a man of your energy. 418 00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:22,823 What I should've explained to you better is I gotta take my job more seriously now. 419 00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:27,536 The last Blockbuster on the planet is literally on my shoulders. 420 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:33,709 I get it, man. You know, trying to keep a video store open in this age of 5G. 421 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,295 Ooh! You got a lot on your plate. 422 00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:40,048 What you need is one of these right here. 423 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:43,302 - Oh, man. - Let me light that up for you. 424 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,055 [Connie] You know what I'm saying? 425 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:48,556 Exactly. 426 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:52,644 But without Joan Rivers, there's nothing to watch on TV anymore. 427 00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:59,151 Well, there's this Mexican telenovela that I love called El Espia y La Tia, 428 00:21:59,901 --> 00:22:02,487 but apparently, it's a big commitment. 429 00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:04,531 Well, how many seasons are there? 430 00:22:04,614 --> 00:22:06,950 Because I only invest in shows 431 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:10,787 that have dedicated 20-plus years into their world building. 432 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,207 You're the espia to my tia. 433 00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:17,919 You'll get what that means in Season 5. 434 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,504 Let me give you my number 435 00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:21,798 so we can talk about the show after I watch. 436 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:24,009 - Okay. - Don't try to text it, though. 437 00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:27,137 - It's a landline. - Oh, I would never text. 438 00:22:27,220 --> 00:22:28,972 Big voice message gal here. 439 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:31,058 ["So Caught Up" playing over speakers] 440 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:34,019 [Lena and Timmy laughing] 441 00:22:34,102 --> 00:22:37,064 You're best friends with the owner of a party store 442 00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:40,942 and highly protective of your toilet. Maybe you can have it all. 443 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:42,944 Wait until you see my ten speed. 444 00:22:43,820 --> 00:22:46,114 Connie and Patrice clicked right away. 445 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,533 They are so cute, you have to see them. 446 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:49,826 [Timmy laughing] 447 00:22:51,286 --> 00:22:52,286 Two. 448 00:22:55,457 --> 00:22:58,668 Actually, I don't think they're here, so... 449 00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:00,295 Isn't that them there? 450 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,005 Oh. Ha! 451 00:23:02,089 --> 00:23:03,340 Yep, there they are. 452 00:23:03,423 --> 00:23:04,633 So cute, right? 453 00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:09,179 Um, I forgot that I, uh... I have a thing. 454 00:23:09,262 --> 00:23:13,642 ♪ I'm denying The feeling of my mind ♪ 455 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:17,562 ♪ The feeling of change ♪ 456 00:23:18,438 --> 00:23:21,566 ♪ There's only one thing I can be certain... ♪ 457 00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:22,859 No, no. 458 00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:25,320 No, no, no. 459 00:23:26,321 --> 00:23:27,321 Percy. 460 00:23:29,032 --> 00:23:30,367 [groans] 461 00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:34,871 ♪ I'm so caught up on you ♪ 462 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:40,127 ♪ I'm so caught up, baby ♪ 463 00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:44,714 ♪ I'm so caught up on you ♪ 464 00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:49,136 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 465 00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:55,016 - ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ - ♪ So caught up on you ♪