1 00:00:00,155 --> 00:00:01,404 - So... - So... 2 00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:03,018 What do we do? 3 00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:05,659 Do I have to sit somewhere? Are there seat belts? 4 00:00:05,660 --> 00:00:08,539 Well, you've done this before. This isn't your first trip. 5 00:00:08,540 --> 00:00:10,340 Yeah, but it's proper this time. 6 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:13,579 Oh, that's a mistake. 7 00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:14,779 What is? 8 00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:16,619 You can't reach the controls from the seats. 9 00:00:16,620 --> 00:00:18,259 What's the point in that? 10 00:00:18,260 --> 00:00:20,339 Or do you have stretchy arms, like Mr Fantastic? 11 00:00:20,340 --> 00:00:22,419 Oh, I stand, like this. 12 00:00:22,420 --> 00:00:25,499 You never thought of bringing the seats a bit closer? 13 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,099 No, not so far, no. 14 00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:29,059 Where's the steering wheel? 15 00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:32,659 Well, you don't steer the TARDIS, 16 00:00:32,660 --> 00:00:34,420 you negotiate with it. 17 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:38,940 The still point between where you want to go... 18 00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:42,739 ..and where you need to be, that's where she takes you. 19 00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:44,499 How much did it cost? 20 00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:45,900 Ah. 21 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,859 No idea. 22 00:00:48,860 --> 00:00:50,260 Stole it. 23 00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:53,939 - Seriously? - Yep. 24 00:00:53,940 --> 00:00:55,419 Why? 25 00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:57,699 Well, actually, because I felt like it. 26 00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:01,219 - What if I steal it from you? - On you go, then. 27 00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:02,619 I don't know how it works. 28 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:03,979 Well, neither did I. 29 00:01:06,180 --> 00:01:07,580 Who's that? 30 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:12,979 Mum. 31 00:01:16,460 --> 00:01:20,259 Excuse me, just what is the TARDIS doing down here? 32 00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:23,699 I'm over 2,000 years old, I don't always want to take the stairs. 33 00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:26,419 Your oath, sir. You're not supposed to go off-world 34 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,819 unless it's an emergency. 35 00:01:27,820 --> 00:01:30,350 - I'm not off-world. - Are you going off-world? 36 00:01:30,352 --> 00:01:32,472 I'm going back to my office. 37 00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:34,619 Could you put the kettle on, please? 38 00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:36,100 Hm. 39 00:01:38,020 --> 00:01:39,819 Why's she here? 40 00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:41,420 Because she isn't anywhere else. 41 00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:44,259 Kettle. 42 00:01:44,260 --> 00:01:47,979 Well, I'm not making any for her... she can make her own. 43 00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:50,460 I'm not a slave for any human, I can assure you. 44 00:01:56,820 --> 00:01:58,220 So... 45 00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:01,260 ..back up to your office for a cuppa, then? 46 00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:06,059 Between here and my office, before the kettle boils, 47 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:08,660 is everything that ever happened or ever will. 48 00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:12,620 - Make your choice. - What choice? 49 00:02:13,820 --> 00:02:15,220 Past or future. 50 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:18,140 Future. 51 00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:22,407 Why? 52 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:25,078 Why do you think? I want to see if it's happy. 53 00:02:29,860 --> 00:02:32,580 'Kezzia, where are you?' 54 00:02:34,220 --> 00:02:36,899 Hey, Goodthing. I'm coming back in. 55 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,539 'Kezzia, don't come in just yet.' 56 00:02:38,540 --> 00:02:41,420 I've been out since second sunrise. I'm hungry. 57 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,300 Round them up, big fella. 58 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:54,619 'Kezzia, please don't come in. We're having a little tiny Vardy problem.' 59 00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:57,979 Me and my Vardies have just pollinated three miles of wheat. 60 00:02:57,980 --> 00:03:01,139 - 'You've got to keep smiling.' - Got to what? 61 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:04,299 - It's the Vardies. - God, what's wrong with you? 62 00:03:04,300 --> 00:03:06,059 Is that smile supposed to look real? 63 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:08,099 It's like you're standing in a wind tunnel. 64 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:12,179 OK. Big smiles now, brace yourself! 65 00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:14,699 Mum is dead. 66 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,219 - Sorry? - Smile, smile, smile! 67 00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:18,939 That's not even funny. 68 00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:21,819 No, it's not a joke. Mum is dead. 69 00:03:21,820 --> 00:03:23,220 Mum is dead. 70 00:03:24,180 --> 00:03:28,739 And Hopeful, she's dead too. And her friend Sunshine, she's dead. 71 00:03:28,740 --> 00:03:32,699 And Eliza. And quite a few other people are dead. 72 00:03:32,700 --> 00:03:34,259 Why are you saying this? 73 00:03:34,260 --> 00:03:38,179 You can't say things like that, grinning like an idiot. 74 00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:41,619 Smile, really. Try. If you don't... 75 00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:44,499 I shouldn't have told you. Please smile. 76 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:48,059 Oh... You're on two tears now. 77 00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:50,139 Is it hugging me? 78 00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:53,619 Who programmed that? 79 00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:55,899 Please, give her a moment! 80 00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,539 She'll be happy in a moment! 81 00:03:58,540 --> 00:03:59,940 Kezzia! 82 00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:09,299 No. Look, I'm smiling. 83 00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,179 Smiling... 84 00:04:39,503 --> 00:04:43,206 - sync and corrections by Doctor C - - www.addic7ed.com - 85 00:04:48,604 --> 00:04:50,245 _ 86 00:04:52,620 --> 00:04:54,139 Which way is Earth? 87 00:04:54,140 --> 00:04:56,059 Ah, space is bent. 88 00:04:56,060 --> 00:04:59,779 Earth is any way you choose to look. 89 00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:01,419 Why? You thinking about leaving? 90 00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:04,140 Thinking? I'm not thinking. My brain's overloading. 91 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:08,139 - Why a phone box? - I told you. 92 00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:10,579 Yeah, I get that it's a cloaking device. 93 00:05:10,580 --> 00:05:13,579 But why keep it that shape? Why do you like it? 94 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,099 Who said I like it? 95 00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:16,339 You kept it. 96 00:05:16,340 --> 00:05:17,740 Come along. 97 00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:21,739 This is one of the Earth's first colonies. 98 00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:25,260 They say the settlers have cracked the secret of human happiness. 99 00:05:29,020 --> 00:05:30,459 One question, 100 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:31,939 little fella said you made an oath. 101 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,860 You're not supposed to leave the planet. 102 00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:38,020 OK, I suppose I owe you an explanation. 103 00:05:40,580 --> 00:05:44,179 A long time ago, a thing happened. As a result of the thing, 104 00:05:44,180 --> 00:05:46,619 I made a promise. As a result of the promise, 105 00:05:46,620 --> 00:05:48,299 I have to stay on Earth. 106 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,579 Guarding a vault? 107 00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:51,699 Guarding a vault. 108 00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:54,259 Well, you're not guarding the vault right now. 109 00:05:54,260 --> 00:05:57,339 Yes, I am. I have a time machine, I can be back before we left. 110 00:05:57,340 --> 00:06:00,379 But what if you get lost, or stuck, or something? 111 00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:03,179 - I've thought about that. - And? 112 00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:05,739 Well, it would be a worry, so best not to dwell on it. 113 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,499 Look at this building. Look at it. 114 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:12,339 You know what I like about humanity? Its optimism. 115 00:06:12,340 --> 00:06:14,459 Do you know what this building is made of? Pure... 116 00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:15,539 soaring... 117 00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:16,899 optimism. 118 00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:24,660 What are they? Alien birds? 119 00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,299 Vardies. 120 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:30,020 Tiny robots. 121 00:06:31,380 --> 00:06:32,779 Work in flocks. 122 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,220 They're versatile, hard-working. 123 00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:38,740 Good at learning skills. 124 00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:42,259 The worker bees of the Third Industrial Revolution, 125 00:06:42,260 --> 00:06:44,819 probably just checking us out for security. 126 00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:47,180 These are robots? These are disappointing robots. 127 00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:50,979 That's a very offensive remark. 128 00:06:50,980 --> 00:06:53,339 Don't make personal remarks like that. 129 00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:55,179 You can't offend a machine. 130 00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:56,699 Typical wet brain chauvinism. 131 00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:59,300 Oh, what just happened? 132 00:07:00,340 --> 00:07:01,699 Your ear's on fire. 133 00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:03,899 Your voice just came out in my ear. 134 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:06,979 I mean, I know voices go into ears but this was like... 135 00:07:06,980 --> 00:07:09,819 We've been fitted with some kind of communication device that is 136 00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:12,459 using our own nervous system as hardware. 137 00:07:12,460 --> 00:07:14,619 We just downloaded an upgrade for our ears. 138 00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:18,259 I'll never lose my phone again. I'll never run out of battery again! 139 00:07:18,260 --> 00:07:19,779 Welcome to paradise. 140 00:07:19,780 --> 00:07:22,179 Hang on, is there a mute button? What if you're in the loo? 141 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,660 Who needs loos? There's probably an app for that. 142 00:07:27,020 --> 00:07:28,619 So, where is everyone? 143 00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:31,259 Don't tell me we've come halfway across the universe and 144 00:07:31,260 --> 00:07:32,819 they've all gone out. 145 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,980 We should've texted first or something. 146 00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:41,060 What's that? 147 00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:44,899 That is a robot. 148 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:47,419 That is not a disappointing robot. 149 00:07:47,420 --> 00:07:50,859 Technically, this isn't a robot at all. 150 00:07:50,860 --> 00:07:53,419 The tiny little things, those are the robots, 151 00:07:53,420 --> 00:07:55,299 this is the interface with them. 152 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,379 Does it speak? Will we understand it? 153 00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:01,619 Well, depends upon what aspect of your language have survived over 154 00:08:01,620 --> 00:08:04,019 so many thousands of years. 155 00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:06,139 Emoji. It speaks emoji! 156 00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:07,539 Of course it does! 157 00:08:07,540 --> 00:08:09,900 Aw. It's cute. 158 00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:17,380 - What's that? - Blank badges. 159 00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:23,019 Yours isn't blank. It's got a face on the back. 160 00:08:23,020 --> 00:08:24,420 Yours too. 161 00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:29,299 Interesting. 162 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:31,380 It's never on the side that you're looking at. 163 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:35,699 What's it doing now? What, what face is it making? 164 00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:37,100 Sort of... puzzled. Me? 165 00:08:37,940 --> 00:08:39,340 The same. 166 00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,099 Do you know what I think? 167 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,659 I think that this is some kind of mood indicator. 168 00:08:44,660 --> 00:08:47,186 But you're never allowed to see your own mood. 169 00:08:47,188 --> 00:08:49,011 - Makes sense. - Does it? 170 00:08:49,013 --> 00:08:52,459 Well, seeing your own mood might affect your own mood. 171 00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:53,939 It's like a feedback loop, 172 00:08:53,940 --> 00:08:56,579 interfering with the information being collected. 173 00:08:56,580 --> 00:08:59,059 Like a scale weighing itself. 174 00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,460 Who's collecting the data? 175 00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:04,019 - Is the big question. - So what do we do, then? 176 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:05,420 Well, if they're badges then... 177 00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:10,660 - What? Where's...? Where's it gone? - Oh, it's on your back. 178 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,820 Yours too. 179 00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:19,939 So, everyone you walk past can see what you're thinking. 180 00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:21,659 What if you really fancy someone? 181 00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:24,139 Well, I suppose it means that you have to maintain 182 00:09:24,140 --> 00:09:26,540 - eye contact with them. - Oh, that's brilliant. 183 00:09:27,980 --> 00:09:29,780 Welcome to the future. 184 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:37,419 Emojis, wearable communications, 185 00:09:37,420 --> 00:09:39,780 we're in the utopia of vacuous teens. 186 00:09:46,780 --> 00:09:50,099 Look at this... it knew I was starving! 187 00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:52,459 Food from another planet. 188 00:09:52,460 --> 00:09:53,940 You've got to, haven't you? 189 00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:57,299 Smells like fish. 190 00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,059 I'm not that fond of fish, 191 00:09:59,060 --> 00:10:01,660 except socially, which can complicate a meal like this. 192 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:04,939 Should we eat it, though? 193 00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:06,619 I mean, what if they're not like us? 194 00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,139 The cutlery is human cutlery. 195 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:10,299 No other species in the universe uses emojis. 196 00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:12,620 Everything here is human except... 197 00:10:14,340 --> 00:10:15,499 No humans. 198 00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,179 This is a perfect colony for humans, 199 00:10:17,180 --> 00:10:19,580 so where are all the colonists? 200 00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:23,660 That's some sort of flavoured algae. 201 00:10:25,220 --> 00:10:26,619 I haven't seen any livestock yet. 202 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:28,140 That's good, isn't it? 203 00:10:29,700 --> 00:10:32,459 In the future we don't eat living things, we eat algae. 204 00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:34,740 I met an emperor made of algae once. 205 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,740 He fancied me. 206 00:10:42,460 --> 00:10:44,419 Why aren't you loving this? 207 00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:47,179 Everything is here, everything is ready, 208 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:48,539 but there's no-one here. 209 00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,219 It's like the Student Union first thing, 210 00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:51,779 before the actual students arrive. 211 00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:53,819 Two portions, though. 212 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,060 Well, that's because that one is mine. 213 00:10:58,780 --> 00:11:03,179 That's it! That's it! Of course! 214 00:11:03,180 --> 00:11:05,339 The whole place is waiting. 215 00:11:05,340 --> 00:11:07,099 We're just too early. 216 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:11,299 So, they're all still in bed? Two portions. One portion. 217 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:14,219 Is there going to be food sexism even in the future? 218 00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,499 Is this bloke utopia? 219 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:18,339 It's probably reading me as two people. The heartbeats. 220 00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:20,899 If you're going to travel 20 light years, you're going to want 221 00:11:20,900 --> 00:11:24,299 to make sure you've got somewhere to sleep at the end of it, aren't you? 222 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:27,259 - So, what do you do? - Sorry? Two hearts? 223 00:11:27,260 --> 00:11:30,459 You send a rocketload of intelligent robots up ahead of you. 224 00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:32,579 They build you a place to live, 225 00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:36,139 so that, when you arrive, it's all waiting. This is brilliant! 226 00:11:36,140 --> 00:11:38,819 You've got two hearts? 227 00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:40,379 Robots, they don't breathe. 228 00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:42,139 They can fix the atmosphere for you, 229 00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:46,019 send data back, so you know whether to bring your waterproofs or not. 230 00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:50,339 Work in huge robot flocks. 231 00:11:50,340 --> 00:11:53,659 You just send them up ahead and you leave them to it. 232 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,779 Hearts, though, why two? 233 00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:57,979 Well, why one? 234 00:11:57,980 --> 00:12:00,300 Does that mean you've got really high blood pressure? 235 00:12:01,580 --> 00:12:03,060 Really high. 236 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:12,020 So, if the people aren't here yet, what do we do? 237 00:12:13,980 --> 00:12:15,420 Put the kettle on? 238 00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:18,780 Or are we going to leave before they arrive? 239 00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:21,900 Is that what you're worried about? 240 00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:27,259 I can see you're worried. 241 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:29,940 Well, you never know what's round the next corner. 242 00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:38,179 Ah, of course, wheat fields outside. 243 00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:41,299 Now something else to eat when they get here. 244 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:43,380 This is their crops. 245 00:12:44,900 --> 00:12:48,659 Look, they're going to have orchards, olive groves. 246 00:12:48,660 --> 00:12:52,379 This is their nursery. The little robots are doing pollination work. 247 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,579 Oh, this plant! There's one of these growing 248 00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:56,900 outside the student union. It smells amazing. 249 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:01,419 Rosemary. 250 00:13:01,420 --> 00:13:04,620 I'm smelling home 20 light years from home. 251 00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,539 Thanks for bringing me. 252 00:13:09,540 --> 00:13:11,540 This is a great day out. 253 00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:15,339 I mean, come on, admit it. 254 00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:16,539 You love it. 255 00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:18,779 Did I say I didn't love it? Yes, I do. 256 00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:20,739 It's very... lovable. 257 00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:24,019 You asked me where all the people were and I theorised that 258 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,859 they hadn't got here yet. 259 00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:27,460 Did I sound convincing? 260 00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:31,100 - Yeah. - And did I convince myself? 261 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:35,339 - No. - No, no. And I'll tell you why 262 00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:37,779 because there should be somebody here. 263 00:13:37,780 --> 00:13:41,980 There should be some kind of set-up team, a skeleton crew. 264 00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:45,419 You're thinking. 265 00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:47,819 Tell me what you're thinking about. 266 00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,619 A magic haddock. 267 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,100 Obviously! 268 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,940 What is this stuff? Is it snow? 269 00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:05,619 This is fertiliser, mineral fertiliser, calcium-based. 270 00:14:05,620 --> 00:14:08,859 Now, we don't have answers, so let's put together two questions. 271 00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:11,020 What is the source of this mineral fertiliser? 272 00:14:14,220 --> 00:14:15,900 And where are all the people? 273 00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,539 Ugh! 274 00:14:24,020 --> 00:14:28,019 Here, right here, in this garden. 275 00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:29,820 Oh, my God. 276 00:14:45,740 --> 00:14:48,140 Despite appearances, they haven't been dead very long. 277 00:14:50,060 --> 00:14:51,659 Those are the colonists? 278 00:14:51,660 --> 00:14:53,459 The colonists aren't here yet. 279 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,859 This is the set-up team, 280 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,389 the skeleton crew. 281 00:14:56,391 --> 00:14:58,058 Why did the robots feed them to the garden? 282 00:14:58,060 --> 00:15:00,219 I don't know, maybe they ran out of fertiliser. 283 00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:01,620 Let's not ask them. 284 00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:07,689 Oh, hello! We were just admiring your garden. 285 00:15:07,691 --> 00:15:08,439 Yes! 286 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:11,659 Moving on now because there's nothing of particular interest here. 287 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,060 Cheerio. 288 00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:20,699 If he's chasing us, he's moving very slowly. 289 00:15:20,700 --> 00:15:22,862 Do you know what it means when something chases you very slowly? 290 00:15:22,864 --> 00:15:23,723 What? 291 00:15:23,725 --> 00:15:26,301 It means there's a reason that they don't have to run. 292 00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:37,259 OK. They're slow, but the city is full of them, 293 00:15:37,260 --> 00:15:39,219 - so they catch you in the end. - What do we do? 294 00:15:39,220 --> 00:15:42,659 Question: we've been here for ages, why are they attacking us now? 295 00:15:42,660 --> 00:15:45,180 - Does it matter? - Only if we want to live. 296 00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:48,659 Smile for me! 297 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:50,060 Smile? 298 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:52,859 Use your whole face, right now, do it. 299 00:15:52,860 --> 00:15:55,139 What good's smiling? 300 00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:56,819 Smiles aren't just smiles. 301 00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:58,899 Psychologically, they have a measurable effect 302 00:15:58,900 --> 00:16:00,699 on your mood states. 303 00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:02,100 Yes. 304 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:05,339 These robots, they built this place. 305 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,739 They grew those trees. 306 00:16:06,740 --> 00:16:09,459 Something went wrong but they were designed to make you happy. 307 00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:12,379 How would massacring hundreds of people make me happy? 308 00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:15,620 "How would massacring hundreds of people make me happy" smiley face. 309 00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:19,219 - Smiley face. - The magic haddock. 310 00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:21,939 What magic haddock? What's that all about? 311 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:24,899 The robots want you to be happy but they got the wrong end of the stick. 312 00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,580 I think we should give them what they want. 313 00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:38,019 Don't even try without smiling. 314 00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:41,819 What a lovely place you have here. 315 00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:44,339 Thank you so much for your hospitality. 316 00:16:44,340 --> 00:16:46,060 We will come again. 317 00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:51,499 Doctor, I was thinking maybe next time we might go 318 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:55,019 to Wiltshire, perhaps, or Aberdeen. 319 00:16:55,020 --> 00:17:01,340 Ah, yes. Two thumbs up for Wiltshire/Aberdeen. 320 00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:15,020 - Doctor! - Smile! Smile! 321 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,348 Where did they come from? 322 00:17:22,350 --> 00:17:25,138 Once we're out of the city, we should be safe. 323 00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:40,819 Are they coming after us? 324 00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:44,060 I'm guessing that, once we're out, we're not their problem. 325 00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:49,659 Right. You'll be perfectly safe in the TARDIS. She'll look after you 326 00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:51,820 - until I get back. - Where are you going? 327 00:17:55,300 --> 00:17:57,899 There's a giant smiley abattoir over there 328 00:17:57,900 --> 00:18:00,165 and I'm having this really childish impulse to blow it up. 329 00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:01,270 Be right back. 330 00:18:01,272 --> 00:18:03,459 What, you're going back in?! We've only just escaped! 331 00:18:03,460 --> 00:18:04,940 I thought we were going home?! 332 00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:07,980 Home?! 333 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:11,299 Why would we be going home? 334 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,939 That place is a living deathtrap, 335 00:18:12,940 --> 00:18:15,219 we can't just leave it with its mouth wide open. 336 00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:17,859 But they're all dead. We saw them. It's too late. 337 00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:20,939 We have to assume that there's a colony ship on the way. 338 00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:23,859 What do you think's going to happen when all those people arrive? 339 00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:25,779 They're expecting the new garden of Eden, 340 00:18:25,780 --> 00:18:28,139 what they are not expecting is to be the fertiliser. 341 00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:29,859 There's broadband in there. Go! 342 00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:31,899 Go and watch some movies or something! 343 00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:34,979 I get that someone has to do something but why's it you? 344 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,699 Can't you phone the police? 345 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:39,219 Isn't there a helpline or something? 346 00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:42,340 And stay away from my browser history! 347 00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,380 Penguin with its arse on fire. 348 00:19:17,140 --> 00:19:18,540 Huh! 349 00:19:29,060 --> 00:19:30,460 Ah! 350 00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:33,900 Good morning! I'm happy! 351 00:19:34,980 --> 00:19:38,379 Good morning. Look at me, I'm happy, happy, happy, happy! 352 00:19:38,380 --> 00:19:42,939 What a lovely, beautiful morning, it makes me so happy. I'm happy. 353 00:19:42,940 --> 00:19:44,940 I hope that you're happy, too. 354 00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:50,180 See? Happy? 355 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:17,379 Hello? Is someone there? I can hear you breathing. 356 00:20:17,380 --> 00:20:18,780 Why are you Scottish? 357 00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,819 - I'm not Scottish, I'm just cross. - Is there Scotland in space? 358 00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:25,259 They're all over the place, demanding independence from 359 00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:27,059 every planet they land on. Why are you here? 360 00:20:27,060 --> 00:20:30,219 Because I figured out why you keep your box as a phone box. 361 00:20:30,220 --> 00:20:31,539 I told you, it's stuck. 362 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:34,459 "Advice and Assistance Obtainable Immediately." You like that. 363 00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:35,539 No, I don't. 364 00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:37,179 See, this is the point. 365 00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:41,619 You don't call the helpline because you ARE the helpline. 366 00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:45,499 Don't sentimentalise me. I don't just fly around helping people out. 367 00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:47,419 What are you doing right now? 368 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:49,659 I happened to be passing by, so I'm mucking in. 369 00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:51,539 You've never passed by in your life. 370 00:20:51,540 --> 00:20:53,779 You couldn't even leave me serving chips, 371 00:20:53,780 --> 00:20:55,300 so I'm not going to leave you. 372 00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:58,299 Look at the wall. 373 00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:00,340 - The wall? - Closely. 374 00:21:04,860 --> 00:21:08,219 Before, when the Vardy, the little microbots, were going to 375 00:21:08,220 --> 00:21:10,620 attack you, you asked me where they came from. 376 00:21:12,580 --> 00:21:17,179 They didn't come from anywhere, they were here all the time. 377 00:21:17,180 --> 00:21:20,619 What? In the wall? 378 00:21:20,620 --> 00:21:22,420 No, not in the wall. 379 00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:31,259 They're not in the wall, they are the wall... they're all the walls. 380 00:21:31,260 --> 00:21:35,339 These little robots, they didn't build this place, they became it. 381 00:21:35,340 --> 00:21:38,099 They can be a part of a wall one minute, flying around the next. 382 00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:42,820 This whole structure is built from interlocking microbots. 383 00:21:46,460 --> 00:21:47,939 Smile! 384 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,820 You're in the belly of the beast. 385 00:21:51,020 --> 00:21:52,419 So what do we do? 386 00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:53,899 Well, the obvious... 387 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,379 we find a real wall. 388 00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:57,539 You really are smiling, aren't you? 389 00:21:57,540 --> 00:22:02,020 Do you know why? You're an awesome tutor. 390 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:08,059 When the Vikings invaded, they used to pull their longboats out 391 00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:11,379 of the water, turn them upside down and live in them as houses 392 00:22:11,380 --> 00:22:14,859 until they'd pillaged and looted enough to build new ones. 393 00:22:14,860 --> 00:22:16,499 So? 394 00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:18,699 You didn't see a space ship outside, did you? 395 00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:20,339 When the settlers first landed, 396 00:22:20,340 --> 00:22:23,139 they must have lived in it and built out from it, 397 00:22:23,140 --> 00:22:28,020 so it's still here, somewhere inside this building. 398 00:22:33,940 --> 00:22:36,259 Bits of meteor damage. Flecks of rust. 399 00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:37,699 Rivets... Oh, I love rivets. 400 00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:40,099 A wall, a real, honest wall, 401 00:22:40,100 --> 00:22:42,459 not made of tiny robots but made of any old iron. 402 00:22:42,460 --> 00:22:45,780 Every spacecraft needs... a door. 403 00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:56,860 Not even locked. 404 00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:04,300 They were expecting to live in peace. 405 00:23:10,740 --> 00:23:11,979 Wicked. 406 00:23:11,980 --> 00:23:13,620 We'll lock it after us, shall we? 407 00:23:29,020 --> 00:23:32,459 Its life support systems are starting up. It knows we're here. 408 00:23:32,460 --> 00:23:35,699 Whoever did the interior decoration in here needs to take lessons 409 00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:37,419 from whoever did it out there. 410 00:23:37,420 --> 00:23:40,499 This was built by humans, that was built by the Vardy. 411 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,260 Wet brains, dry brains. 412 00:23:54,740 --> 00:23:56,260 Ah! 413 00:24:00,140 --> 00:24:06,860 Good, old, universally compatible, incorruptible maps. 414 00:24:09,100 --> 00:24:10,500 You are here. 415 00:24:12,580 --> 00:24:14,379 This is the engine room. 416 00:24:14,380 --> 00:24:16,459 That's the target. That's where I'm going. 417 00:24:16,460 --> 00:24:18,899 - Where am I going? - You're staying here 418 00:24:18,900 --> 00:24:23,419 and you will be guiding me to here, using this map. 419 00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:27,339 I'll hear you through the thingamabob. 420 00:24:27,340 --> 00:24:29,020 I'm on a space ship... 421 00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:33,540 ..like, for real. A proper one. 422 00:24:35,220 --> 00:24:37,380 - 'Left or right?' - Er... 423 00:24:40,140 --> 00:24:41,499 Right. 424 00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:44,900 Well, they were certainly planning to make themselves at home here. 425 00:24:46,140 --> 00:24:48,499 They brought all their favourite knick-knacks. 426 00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:50,979 'There should be a door' 427 00:24:50,980 --> 00:24:52,380 that leads onto a corridor. 428 00:24:54,340 --> 00:24:57,379 - I really am on a space ship. - 'Yes...' 429 00:24:57,380 --> 00:24:59,859 Which we're about to blow up. 430 00:24:59,860 --> 00:25:01,899 How are you allowed to do that? 431 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,259 Like, how are you allowed to blow something up 432 00:25:04,260 --> 00:25:07,819 and not get into trouble? I mean, blow something up, get into trouble, 433 00:25:07,820 --> 00:25:10,379 that is a standard sequence. 434 00:25:10,380 --> 00:25:11,819 'What do you mean, "allowed"?' 435 00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:13,579 It's a moral imperative. 436 00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:15,419 This is a murder machine. 437 00:25:15,420 --> 00:25:18,180 Beautiful, though, I mean, the whole place. 438 00:25:19,260 --> 00:25:22,139 You should be able to see a staircase... 439 00:25:22,140 --> 00:25:25,059 All traps are beautiful, that's how they work. 440 00:25:25,060 --> 00:25:27,260 - Up or down? - Down. 441 00:25:29,380 --> 00:25:32,019 What? What's this big bit in the middle? 442 00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:34,579 There's a big empty space in the middle. 443 00:25:34,580 --> 00:25:38,099 The engine is right in the middle of a big empty space. 444 00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:40,659 - What's that for? - 'Attention. 445 00:25:40,660 --> 00:25:43,939 'Attention. Erehwon system's initiated.' 446 00:25:43,940 --> 00:25:48,299 Ship's systems are set to respond to human presence. It WAS sleeping. 447 00:25:48,300 --> 00:25:50,739 We walked in, now it's waking up. 448 00:25:50,740 --> 00:25:53,980 - Er, there should be a ladder. - Got it. 449 00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:18,419 Beautiful. 450 00:26:18,420 --> 00:26:20,259 Fleishman Cold Fusion Engine. 451 00:26:20,260 --> 00:26:24,219 All I've got to do is back the flow into the calorimeter and run. 452 00:26:24,220 --> 00:26:26,140 It's like it wants to get blown up. 453 00:26:29,540 --> 00:26:31,739 'Hang on, I'm being thick.' 454 00:26:31,740 --> 00:26:33,419 I can come with you. 455 00:26:33,420 --> 00:26:35,900 'Took that long to think of photographing it?' 456 00:26:37,860 --> 00:26:40,299 - You'd already memorised it, hadn't you? - 'Yep.' 457 00:26:40,300 --> 00:26:42,380 Stop trying to keep me out of trouble. 458 00:26:43,620 --> 00:26:45,300 There's no trouble. 459 00:26:46,700 --> 00:26:49,060 This is going to be a stroll in the park. 460 00:28:22,940 --> 00:28:26,699 Doctor, why did people come here? 461 00:28:26,700 --> 00:28:28,619 Did something terrible happen? 462 00:28:28,620 --> 00:28:30,020 I can't hear you! 463 00:28:35,620 --> 00:28:37,499 This isn't as easy as it looks. 464 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:38,859 I've got to know. 465 00:28:38,860 --> 00:28:41,219 The people who came here... 466 00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:43,739 were they the last people? 467 00:28:43,740 --> 00:28:45,899 Were they our last hope? 468 00:28:45,900 --> 00:28:47,820 'Earth was evacuated.' 469 00:28:52,500 --> 00:28:55,100 But there were a number of ships. 470 00:28:56,420 --> 00:28:58,859 I've bumped into a few of them over the years. 471 00:28:58,860 --> 00:29:02,940 Right, I've re-routed the flow. 472 00:29:05,300 --> 00:29:06,859 No, no, no, no. That's not right. 473 00:29:06,860 --> 00:29:09,140 Bad noise. That's not right, no, no! 474 00:29:17,140 --> 00:29:20,059 No. When the calorimeter reaches its peak... 475 00:29:20,060 --> 00:29:21,819 I could do with a hand here! 476 00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:23,580 'OK, on my way.' 477 00:29:31,340 --> 00:29:33,019 Oh! 478 00:29:33,020 --> 00:29:34,420 Are we there yet? 479 00:29:36,460 --> 00:29:38,939 'Doctor, there's something you need to know.' 480 00:29:38,940 --> 00:29:40,420 I'm too busy! 481 00:29:59,940 --> 00:30:02,019 'Almost with you, Doctor.' 482 00:30:02,020 --> 00:30:04,099 You took your time. 483 00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:07,420 When I let this go, it's going to spin back. 484 00:30:09,940 --> 00:30:13,820 I want you to hold it tight while I jam it shut. 485 00:30:24,140 --> 00:30:26,620 Doctor? Doctor, can you hear me? 486 00:30:27,740 --> 00:30:29,179 Ah! Don't worry about me. 487 00:30:29,180 --> 00:30:31,179 I'm having the time of my life! 488 00:30:31,180 --> 00:30:33,340 Making new friends! 489 00:30:48,620 --> 00:30:51,100 Get ready to run! Run really fast! 490 00:30:53,540 --> 00:30:56,779 What? Where did you come from? 491 00:30:56,780 --> 00:31:00,780 - Where is everybody? - When you say "everybody"...? 492 00:31:01,940 --> 00:31:04,819 'My very good people, we will soon be beginning 493 00:31:04,820 --> 00:31:07,499 'an emergency disembarkation. 494 00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:10,900 'Good people, please prepare for disembarkation. 495 00:31:12,740 --> 00:31:14,539 'We wish you a happy new world.' 496 00:31:14,540 --> 00:31:16,459 Doctor? 497 00:31:16,460 --> 00:31:19,819 Pods! Pods! 498 00:31:19,820 --> 00:31:22,379 What is it? What's happening? 499 00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:24,580 We can't blow up the city! 500 00:31:27,540 --> 00:31:31,980 - Why? Those pods, what's in them? - I got it wrong. 501 00:31:33,660 --> 00:31:36,020 I got it very, very wrong. 502 00:31:38,860 --> 00:31:42,700 The colony ship isn't on the way, it's right here. 503 00:31:44,140 --> 00:31:47,379 The colonists are all around us, cryogenically frozen. 504 00:31:47,380 --> 00:31:48,980 What's in those pods, Bill... 505 00:31:50,100 --> 00:31:53,140 ..is the surviving population of Earth. 506 00:31:55,460 --> 00:31:57,379 And I nearly killed all of them. 507 00:31:57,380 --> 00:32:01,220 'Welcome to your new world. Be happy.' 508 00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:03,939 They're waking up, aren't they? 509 00:32:03,940 --> 00:32:06,380 We must have triggered the process when we came in. 510 00:32:08,700 --> 00:32:11,659 So, what happens now? 511 00:32:11,660 --> 00:32:13,060 Now? 512 00:32:14,660 --> 00:32:16,819 Now they're all going to leave this ship, 513 00:32:16,820 --> 00:32:19,300 and find their friends and family mulched in the garden. 514 00:32:21,180 --> 00:32:23,380 And if they don't smile about that... 515 00:32:24,900 --> 00:32:27,060 ..it's going to be the end of the human race. 516 00:32:39,860 --> 00:32:43,699 Oh! Oh, those pods, eh? Not much headroom. 517 00:32:43,700 --> 00:32:48,139 Oh, I thought I'd be first up. Steadfast, MedTech One. 518 00:32:48,140 --> 00:32:49,379 What day is this? 519 00:32:49,380 --> 00:32:50,539 The end of the world. 520 00:32:50,540 --> 00:32:52,500 Again? We've only just got here. 521 00:32:53,620 --> 00:32:55,059 Bill, with me. 522 00:32:55,060 --> 00:32:56,460 What's happening? 523 00:32:57,460 --> 00:32:59,819 What's happening is nobody leaves this ship 524 00:32:59,820 --> 00:33:01,299 until I tell you otherwise. 525 00:33:01,300 --> 00:33:02,940 Clear? Nobody leaves. 526 00:33:05,540 --> 00:33:06,859 - Where are we going? - No idea. 527 00:33:06,860 --> 00:33:09,539 But if I look purposeful, they'll think I've got a plan. 528 00:33:09,540 --> 00:33:12,179 If they think I've got a plan, at least they won't 529 00:33:12,180 --> 00:33:14,739 - try to think of one themselves. - But you don't have a plan. 530 00:33:14,740 --> 00:33:16,779 I don't know how to stop it happening again 531 00:33:16,780 --> 00:33:19,259 because I can't figure out why it happened last time. 532 00:33:19,260 --> 00:33:21,139 What made them do this? 533 00:33:21,140 --> 00:33:23,380 I think I need to show you something. 534 00:33:24,740 --> 00:33:28,740 'Section A34, reanimation sequence commencing.' 535 00:33:31,980 --> 00:33:33,979 The spacecraft landed. 536 00:33:33,980 --> 00:33:36,899 Most of the colonists were kept in cryogenic suspension. 537 00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:39,579 A few, the ones with skills... 538 00:33:39,580 --> 00:33:41,219 The best ones. The brave ones. 539 00:33:41,220 --> 00:33:46,779 They were woke to shepherd the little flocks of Vardy robots. 540 00:33:46,780 --> 00:33:50,060 She came here. She was happy. 541 00:33:51,740 --> 00:33:53,140 It was all going well... 542 00:33:55,060 --> 00:33:57,699 Those are the shepherds, aren't they? 543 00:33:57,700 --> 00:33:59,260 And they're all dead. 544 00:34:01,460 --> 00:34:05,219 If we rearrange this data to reflect the time of death, 545 00:34:05,220 --> 00:34:06,620 what do we get? 546 00:34:11,580 --> 00:34:13,100 That's her. 547 00:34:17,300 --> 00:34:20,139 This woman died. There's no sign of violence. 548 00:34:20,140 --> 00:34:22,580 So, you know, she just died the way that humans do. 549 00:34:24,820 --> 00:34:28,259 Then a few more people died all at the same time, and then 550 00:34:28,260 --> 00:34:31,620 a lot more died just after, and then... 551 00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:34,580 ..the rest. Dozens. 552 00:34:35,900 --> 00:34:38,579 A virus? A virus that went... 553 00:34:38,580 --> 00:34:39,859 well, viral? 554 00:34:39,860 --> 00:34:44,259 Grief! Grief! Grief as plague. 555 00:34:44,260 --> 00:34:45,579 But how? 556 00:34:45,580 --> 00:34:49,899 The Vardies, well, their job was to maintain happiness. 557 00:34:49,900 --> 00:34:53,099 At first, that meant making sure there was enough oxygen and water. 558 00:34:53,100 --> 00:34:56,099 That's what the badges are meant to communicate... 559 00:34:56,100 --> 00:35:02,019 satisfaction, a positive mental state. But the Vardy are smart, 560 00:35:02,020 --> 00:35:03,699 they learn, 561 00:35:03,700 --> 00:35:05,779 they try to be good servants, 562 00:35:05,780 --> 00:35:11,259 so they expand the definition of happiness until... 563 00:35:11,260 --> 00:35:12,900 She dies. 564 00:35:14,340 --> 00:35:17,059 No-one had ever died here before this lady. 565 00:35:17,060 --> 00:35:20,179 The Vardies, they've never heard of grief before. 566 00:35:20,180 --> 00:35:25,339 This place is all about hope and the future, and happiness. 567 00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:27,059 No-one ever thought about the opposite. 568 00:35:27,060 --> 00:35:29,060 The Vardies didn't know what to do with it. 569 00:35:30,580 --> 00:35:35,139 They identified grief as the enemy of happiness 570 00:35:35,140 --> 00:35:40,179 and everyone who was experiencing grief as a problem, 571 00:35:40,180 --> 00:35:42,019 - as... - Compost. 572 00:35:42,020 --> 00:35:43,619 And all those dead people, 573 00:35:43,620 --> 00:35:46,059 well, you know, they had friends and family, too, so... 574 00:35:46,060 --> 00:35:48,699 - Even more compost. - And so on, and so on, and so on, 575 00:35:48,700 --> 00:35:52,299 and what you get is a whole grief tsunami. 576 00:35:52,300 --> 00:35:55,219 And all of this took how long? One morning? 577 00:35:55,220 --> 00:35:58,259 All of these people were slaughtered in a day? 578 00:35:58,260 --> 00:35:59,939 Slaughtered for their own good 579 00:35:59,940 --> 00:36:02,019 because the Vardy think different. 580 00:36:02,020 --> 00:36:06,139 Like the magic haddock. Not bad, not good, just different. 581 00:36:06,140 --> 00:36:09,140 So, what will happen when the new people meet the robots? 582 00:36:20,100 --> 00:36:22,419 That's the boy. 583 00:36:22,420 --> 00:36:24,299 The first to wake up. Where did you get this? 584 00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:26,059 I'd think it's his mother's, don't you? 585 00:36:26,060 --> 00:36:29,979 Or his nan's. Well, he'll find her, 586 00:36:29,980 --> 00:36:31,539 when she wakes up in her pod. 587 00:36:31,540 --> 00:36:34,740 I found that in the fruit garden, when we first arrived. 588 00:36:36,660 --> 00:36:37,899 Oh. 589 00:36:37,900 --> 00:36:42,099 I would say that a lot of the colonists had friends or family 590 00:36:42,100 --> 00:36:44,059 who were working here as shepherds. 591 00:36:44,060 --> 00:36:47,580 - When they find out what happened... - They'll be grief-stricken. 592 00:36:48,500 --> 00:36:51,340 - And after that... - A massacre. 593 00:36:55,660 --> 00:36:58,900 - OK, where are we going? - What's the opposite of a massacre? 594 00:37:00,180 --> 00:37:02,460 - OK, what? - In my experience, a lecture. 595 00:37:12,940 --> 00:37:15,459 You brought the Vardy here, 596 00:37:15,460 --> 00:37:19,259 microbots to make your life so easy. 597 00:37:19,260 --> 00:37:21,699 But like every slave class in history, 598 00:37:21,700 --> 00:37:24,940 the Vardy are beginning to have ideas of their own. 599 00:37:26,220 --> 00:37:28,699 They wanted to eliminate unhappiness, 600 00:37:28,700 --> 00:37:32,099 but to a robot that meant eliminating unhappy people. 601 00:37:32,100 --> 00:37:34,419 They gave you monitors, badges, 602 00:37:34,420 --> 00:37:37,700 so they'd know when you were too unhappy to live. 603 00:37:49,420 --> 00:37:52,099 - You need to listen. - I did listen. What did I miss? 604 00:37:52,100 --> 00:37:54,139 The Vardy have killed our families. 605 00:37:54,140 --> 00:37:55,898 But you need to understand why that happened. 606 00:37:55,900 --> 00:37:57,083 I don't care why. 607 00:37:57,085 --> 00:37:59,259 Then you will die, too, and so will everyone on your ship. 608 00:37:59,260 --> 00:38:01,779 - The Vardy are not your enemy. - They want to kill us. 609 00:38:01,780 --> 00:38:04,619 No. They want to help you. Killing you is just a side-effect. 610 00:38:04,620 --> 00:38:06,659 - Get out of my way. - You've got guns. 611 00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:09,459 You think that will help against a whole living city? 612 00:38:09,460 --> 00:38:12,059 That little boy, where did he go? 613 00:38:12,060 --> 00:38:13,860 My mum was a gardener. 614 00:38:15,180 --> 00:38:16,780 Have you seen her? 615 00:38:19,180 --> 00:38:21,060 She's supposed to be here. 616 00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:32,619 There he is! 617 00:38:32,620 --> 00:38:34,459 Step away from the kid. 618 00:38:34,460 --> 00:38:37,419 They're not armed. You don't need to do this. 619 00:38:37,420 --> 00:38:41,139 - You just need to... - What's wrong? What's going on? 620 00:38:41,140 --> 00:38:43,780 Where's my mum? Where's everyone? 621 00:38:46,460 --> 00:38:47,939 Where's everyone? 622 00:38:47,940 --> 00:38:50,139 Oh, no, no, no, no, no! Don't cry, don't cry! 623 00:38:50,140 --> 00:38:53,499 Hey, hey. Look, everything's going to be OK. 624 00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:57,339 Look, this is your new house. Isn't it lovely? 625 00:38:57,340 --> 00:38:58,659 I want Mummy. 626 00:38:58,660 --> 00:39:00,659 Smile. Smile. Smile. Smile. 627 00:39:00,660 --> 00:39:03,339 Everything's going to be fine if you just keep smiling... 628 00:39:03,340 --> 00:39:04,740 Get away from the kid! 629 00:39:11,900 --> 00:39:14,659 What's that? 630 00:39:14,660 --> 00:39:17,139 Rage? Revenge? 631 00:39:17,140 --> 00:39:19,540 - It's one robot. - It's not one robot. 632 00:39:21,340 --> 00:39:23,100 Doctor, what do we do? 633 00:39:24,580 --> 00:39:26,699 Doctor, what's happening? 634 00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:28,700 Cover fire, now! 635 00:39:31,660 --> 00:39:33,619 - Fascinating! - What's fascinating?? 636 00:39:33,620 --> 00:39:37,819 The Vardy are identifying as under attack, which means they identify 637 00:39:37,820 --> 00:39:41,659 as a species. They are self-aware. They're... They're alive! 638 00:39:41,660 --> 00:39:43,499 They're going to kill us! 639 00:39:47,540 --> 00:39:49,859 - What are you doing? - I really hope this doesn't hurt. 640 00:39:49,860 --> 00:39:52,899 Do you know why I always win at chess? 641 00:39:52,900 --> 00:39:55,219 I have a secret move. 642 00:39:55,220 --> 00:39:56,779 I kick over the board. 643 00:39:56,780 --> 00:39:58,500 Here it comes! 644 00:40:04,980 --> 00:40:10,300 Once, long ago, a fisherman caught a magic haddock. 645 00:40:11,540 --> 00:40:15,539 The haddock offered the fisherman three wishes in return for its life. 646 00:40:15,540 --> 00:40:19,739 The fisherman said, "I'd like my son to come home from the war 647 00:40:19,740 --> 00:40:21,340 "and 100 pieces of gold." 648 00:40:22,460 --> 00:40:28,299 The problem is magic haddock, like robots, don't think like people. 649 00:40:28,300 --> 00:40:32,499 The fisherman's son came home from the war in a coffin 650 00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:37,219 and the King sent 100 gold pieces in recognition of his heroic death. 651 00:40:37,220 --> 00:40:39,979 The fisherman had one wish left. 652 00:40:39,980 --> 00:40:41,939 What do you think he wished for? 653 00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:45,179 Some people say he should have wished for an infinite series 654 00:40:45,180 --> 00:40:48,299 of wishes, but if your city proves anything, 655 00:40:48,300 --> 00:40:51,499 it is that granting all your wishes is not a good idea. 656 00:40:51,500 --> 00:40:55,379 It's OK. It's not going to hurt you. 657 00:40:55,380 --> 00:40:57,579 Actually, it doesn't even know who you are. 658 00:40:57,580 --> 00:40:59,299 What happened? What have you done? 659 00:40:59,300 --> 00:41:03,179 In fact, the fisherman wished that he hadn't made the first two wishes. 660 00:41:03,180 --> 00:41:06,019 In a way, he pressed the reset button. 661 00:41:06,020 --> 00:41:07,620 What the hell did you do? 662 00:41:09,060 --> 00:41:10,779 Aren't you listening? 663 00:41:10,780 --> 00:41:12,539 I pressed the reset button. 664 00:41:12,540 --> 00:41:15,379 Every computer has one and anyone can find it, 665 00:41:15,380 --> 00:41:19,219 especially if they happen to be a scary, handsome genius from space. 666 00:41:19,220 --> 00:41:21,539 I re-initialised the entire command structure, 667 00:41:21,540 --> 00:41:25,459 retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary 668 00:41:25,460 --> 00:41:27,139 preference architecture. 669 00:41:27,140 --> 00:41:29,179 He turned it off and on again. 670 00:41:29,180 --> 00:41:30,580 I turned it off and on again. 671 00:41:33,540 --> 00:41:35,340 Of course, I wiped their memories. 672 00:41:37,460 --> 00:41:39,979 They no longer have the faintest idea who you are 673 00:41:39,980 --> 00:41:41,619 and, in fact, they're wondering 674 00:41:41,620 --> 00:41:43,780 what you're doing in their very nice city. 675 00:41:44,780 --> 00:41:46,539 THEIR city? 676 00:41:46,540 --> 00:41:50,459 Yes. THEIR city. It's made of them. 677 00:41:50,460 --> 00:41:53,466 It's our city. They're our robots. 678 00:41:53,468 --> 00:41:54,735 They were. 679 00:41:54,737 --> 00:41:58,379 Welcome to your new world. Meet the Vardy. 680 00:41:58,380 --> 00:42:01,099 They are, as of now, the indigenous life form. 681 00:42:01,100 --> 00:42:05,339 You'd best make friends with them because there's loads of them, 682 00:42:05,340 --> 00:42:08,100 and they're the only ones who know how anything works. 683 00:42:09,300 --> 00:42:10,700 They killed our people. 684 00:42:12,740 --> 00:42:16,540 Well, look, they have forgotten about that. 685 00:42:17,820 --> 00:42:19,619 They've forgotten about you, 686 00:42:19,620 --> 00:42:23,339 they've forgotten that you even made them in the first place. 687 00:42:23,340 --> 00:42:26,179 Now, since they have absolute power over this city, 688 00:42:26,180 --> 00:42:29,739 and since I'm assuming you all don't want to sleep rough tonight, 689 00:42:29,740 --> 00:42:31,460 I have a suggestion for you... 690 00:42:33,860 --> 00:42:35,260 Smile. 691 00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:37,979 You can't be serious. 692 00:42:37,980 --> 00:42:41,539 I am serious. In fact, I'm willing to be a negotiator. 693 00:42:41,540 --> 00:42:43,579 - Are you now? - Yes. 694 00:42:43,580 --> 00:42:45,260 Watch. 695 00:42:48,020 --> 00:42:50,219 Hello, I'm the Doctor. 696 00:42:50,220 --> 00:42:54,619 A few hours ago, I made the mistake of not recognising your status 697 00:42:54,620 --> 00:42:57,099 as an emergent new life form. 698 00:42:57,100 --> 00:43:01,659 As recompense for my mistake, please allow me to act as your negotiator 699 00:43:01,660 --> 00:43:05,019 with a migratory conglomerate known as the human race. 700 00:43:05,020 --> 00:43:06,579 They're looking for a place to stay 701 00:43:06,580 --> 00:43:08,380 and they've got their eye on your city. 702 00:43:11,220 --> 00:43:12,860 Would you like me to discuss rent? 703 00:43:18,140 --> 00:43:20,060 So, is it going to work? 704 00:43:21,380 --> 00:43:22,980 That's up to them. 705 00:43:25,700 --> 00:43:27,899 Did you just... 706 00:43:27,900 --> 00:43:30,260 Well, did WE just... 707 00:43:31,500 --> 00:43:32,979 ..jumpstart a new civilisation? 708 00:43:32,980 --> 00:43:35,019 It's a dirty job but someone's got to do it. 709 00:43:35,020 --> 00:43:36,419 Did you do this all the time? 710 00:43:36,420 --> 00:43:38,899 - Do what? - Fly around, sorting things out, 711 00:43:38,900 --> 00:43:41,179 like some kind of intergalactic policeman. 712 00:43:41,180 --> 00:43:44,259 I don't sort things out and I'm definitely not a policeman. 713 00:43:44,260 --> 00:43:46,539 You live in a police box. 714 00:43:46,540 --> 00:43:48,059 That's pure coincidence. 715 00:43:48,060 --> 00:43:49,620 Yeah, of course. 716 00:43:54,020 --> 00:43:56,659 Back at the exact moment we left. 717 00:43:56,660 --> 00:44:00,979 The kettle's boiling, I've got a vault to guard, 718 00:44:00,980 --> 00:44:04,660 and everything is exactly as we left it. 719 00:44:09,740 --> 00:44:11,420 Wasn't snowing when we left. 720 00:44:15,980 --> 00:44:17,820 Maybe I do need a steering wheel. 721 00:44:20,060 --> 00:44:22,620 - Where are we? - London. 722 00:44:25,020 --> 00:44:28,860 And this is the Thames. 723 00:44:38,144 --> 00:44:39,498 _ 724 00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:41,539 Travel into the past, there's got to be rules. 725 00:44:41,540 --> 00:44:44,020 If I step on a butterfly, it could send ripples through time. 726 00:44:45,500 --> 00:44:48,539 Regency England? A bit more black than they show in the movies. 727 00:44:48,540 --> 00:44:51,019 Are there any side effects to time travel? 728 00:44:51,020 --> 00:44:54,019 Sometimes you see lights under the ice. Stay back! 729 00:44:54,020 --> 00:44:57,219 There's something frozen under the Thames and it's eating people. 730 00:44:57,220 --> 00:44:58,820 Plan? Let's get eaten. 731 00:45:02,140 --> 00:45:04,299 The creature will be fed. 732 00:45:04,300 --> 00:45:05,900 Have you ever killed anyone?