1 00:00:01,171 --> 00:00:04,410 - Previously on Young Sheldon... - We are at capacity. 2 00:00:04,510 --> 00:00:06,047 It's time to expand. 3 00:00:06,147 --> 00:00:09,653 - Where? - The video store right behind that wall 4 00:00:09,753 --> 00:00:11,590 just lost its lease. 5 00:00:11,690 --> 00:00:14,263 So, you're telling me there's nothing weird going on back there? 6 00:00:15,899 --> 00:00:17,202 Oh, my God. 7 00:00:17,302 --> 00:00:18,991 Is it legal? 8 00:00:18,992 --> 00:00:19,993 - No. - Yes. 9 00:00:19,994 --> 00:00:21,044 Too bad there's not a comic book database 10 00:00:21,144 --> 00:00:23,081 so I can search through it and find what I'm looking for. 11 00:00:23,181 --> 00:00:24,750 Well, CERN has something similar. 12 00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:27,222 You can search a database of scientific papers. 13 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,306 But there's no database for comic books. 14 00:00:29,406 --> 00:00:31,577 You should make one. Somewhere else. 15 00:00:31,677 --> 00:00:34,650 Could it be used to catalogue other things? 16 00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,520 Yes, the applications are endless. 17 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:38,758 Ooh, there could be ones for scientific grants. 18 00:00:38,858 --> 00:00:40,895 Funding grants is such a time-consuming process. 19 00:00:40,995 --> 00:00:42,532 If there was a centralized database, 20 00:00:42,632 --> 00:00:44,302 it would change the research landscape entirely. 21 00:00:44,403 --> 00:00:46,640 Do you see what this could do for the scientific community? 22 00:00:46,740 --> 00:00:49,445 We could charge an access fee to every university on the planet, 23 00:00:49,546 --> 00:00:51,950 then I could retire on a yacht in the Bahamas. 24 00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:53,052 You're missing the point. 25 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,189 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 26 00:00:54,289 --> 00:00:55,792 Uh, good for science. I love it. 27 00:00:58,664 --> 00:01:01,268 ADULT SHELDON: People say French is the language of love, 28 00:01:01,468 --> 00:01:03,449 but for me, nothing is sweeter 29 00:01:03,450 --> 00:01:06,249 than the exhilarating sounds of legalese. 30 00:01:06,250 --> 00:01:07,381 Ooh, la, la. 31 00:01:07,391 --> 00:01:10,331 The same could not be said for my parents. 32 00:01:10,431 --> 00:01:11,432 Uh... 33 00:01:11,466 --> 00:01:12,467 (stammers) 34 00:01:12,535 --> 00:01:13,537 And which one are we? 35 00:01:13,637 --> 00:01:14,672 "The-the party of the first part" 36 00:01:14,772 --> 00:01:16,108 or "the party of the second part"? 37 00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:17,678 (laughs) The first part, 38 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,515 but either way, it's a party. 39 00:01:19,615 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaking of which, can I get you a beer? 40 00:01:22,221 --> 00:01:24,392 Y-You're a Lone Star man, right? 41 00:01:24,492 --> 00:01:25,994 - Matter of fact, I am. - George. 42 00:01:26,095 --> 00:01:27,465 She offered. I don't want to be rude. 43 00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:28,566 It's 11:00 a.m. 44 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,504 Well, you just let me know. 45 00:01:30,604 --> 00:01:32,073 We'll get you anything you want. 46 00:01:32,173 --> 00:01:34,210 We're fine, thank you. (clears throat) 47 00:01:34,312 --> 00:01:36,283 So, you really think this invention of Sheldon's 48 00:01:36,383 --> 00:01:37,585 could be worth something? 49 00:01:37,685 --> 00:01:39,489 Oh, who knows? Uh, most of the time, 50 00:01:39,589 --> 00:01:41,124 these things don't pan out. 51 00:01:41,224 --> 00:01:43,730 Could be something, probably nothing. (laughs) 52 00:01:43,830 --> 00:01:46,268 Uh, that's just a formality. 53 00:01:47,069 --> 00:01:48,607 But you said my grant database 54 00:01:48,707 --> 00:01:50,577 would make the university "boatloads of money." 55 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,581 Well, that doesn't mean anything. 56 00:01:52,681 --> 00:01:54,318 Boats can be small. (laughs) 57 00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:55,787 Ever hear of a canoe? 58 00:01:55,887 --> 00:01:58,326 Anyway, who needs a pen? 59 00:01:58,426 --> 00:01:59,895 What's this about the university 60 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:03,268 owning 90% and Sheldon only owning ten? 61 00:02:03,369 --> 00:02:05,172 Oh, that's just standard boilerplate. 62 00:02:05,272 --> 00:02:06,809 Did you know that boilerplate originally 63 00:02:06,909 --> 00:02:08,078 referred to the roll of steel 64 00:02:08,178 --> 00:02:10,182 used as a template to create steam boilers, 65 00:02:10,282 --> 00:02:12,053 but then was adapted to the legal profession 66 00:02:12,153 --> 00:02:13,789 to describe the way companies use fine print 67 00:02:13,890 --> 00:02:15,225 to get around the law? 68 00:02:16,628 --> 00:02:18,766 Ugh, that fact is just so fun. 69 00:02:18,866 --> 00:02:20,403 You see? It is a party. 70 00:02:20,503 --> 00:02:22,774 And what's a party without Yoo-hoo? 71 00:02:22,874 --> 00:02:24,711 Can I get you a cold one? 72 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,046 Yes, please. 73 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:29,187 No. We want to make sure that Sheldon is being treated fairly. 74 00:02:29,367 --> 00:02:31,271 Yeah, maybe we should get our own lawyer 75 00:02:31,371 --> 00:02:33,442 to take a look at this before we sign anything. 76 00:02:33,542 --> 00:02:34,944 Can we afford a lawyer? 77 00:02:37,383 --> 00:02:40,154 Okay, w-we're gonna need some time to get back to you. 78 00:02:40,254 --> 00:02:43,060 Of course. You take all the time you need. 79 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,764 You know, just because of all 80 00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:48,037 the nice things we've done for your son and for your family, 81 00:02:48,137 --> 00:02:51,210 no need to start trusting us now. 82 00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:54,918 She took that better than I thought. 83 00:02:55,018 --> 00:02:57,924 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 84 00:02:58,024 --> 00:03:00,562 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 85 00:03:00,662 --> 00:03:02,934 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 86 00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:06,006 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 87 00:03:06,106 --> 00:03:10,181 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 88 00:03:16,060 --> 00:03:17,763 Dang, it's busy in here for a weekday. 89 00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:19,833 Social Security checks landed. 90 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,573 Hm. Getting paid just to be old... must be nice. 91 00:03:22,673 --> 00:03:23,741 I ain't complaining. 92 00:03:23,841 --> 00:03:26,547 Listen, this cash box is full. Take some of this up 93 00:03:26,647 --> 00:03:29,252 and stick it in the register in the video store. 94 00:03:29,352 --> 00:03:30,353 You got it. 95 00:03:30,388 --> 00:03:31,724 And don't be flirting with Mandy. 96 00:03:31,824 --> 00:03:32,993 I need help back here. 97 00:03:33,093 --> 00:03:34,863 Okay, but she might flirt with me. 98 00:03:34,963 --> 00:03:37,234 This shirt really brings out my eyes. 99 00:03:39,472 --> 00:03:40,775 (door closes) 100 00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:42,445 How's it going? Figure everything out? 101 00:03:42,545 --> 00:03:44,750 People give me money, I give them movies. 102 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,085 I think I got it. 103 00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:48,089 Smart, pregnant, you're the whole package. 104 00:03:48,189 --> 00:03:50,060 I'd like to return this movie. 105 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,064 Okay, thank you. Come again. 106 00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,435 I can't believe you would rent this filth. 107 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:57,207 It's not filth. It's Basic Instinct. 108 00:03:57,307 --> 00:03:58,778 Well, my husband was watching it 109 00:03:58,878 --> 00:04:00,915 and there was a woman in there who showed her hoo-ha. 110 00:04:01,015 --> 00:04:02,384 Yeah, she does. 111 00:04:02,484 --> 00:04:04,055 Come on, I mean, you don't see the whole thing. 112 00:04:04,155 --> 00:04:05,959 At most, you see a "hoo." 113 00:04:06,059 --> 00:04:08,363 If you see the "hoo," the "ha's" right there. 114 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,634 Whatever it was, it's sinful. 115 00:04:10,734 --> 00:04:12,772 Why don't you pick out something else? On the house. 116 00:04:12,872 --> 00:04:15,077 I don't know why you'd carry something like this. 117 00:04:15,177 --> 00:04:16,212 People like it. 118 00:04:16,312 --> 00:04:17,514 I've seen it three times. 119 00:04:17,614 --> 00:04:19,351 Do you really want to bring your baby 120 00:04:19,451 --> 00:04:22,424 into a world where this is considered entertainment? 121 00:04:24,328 --> 00:04:26,565 Lady, why don't you let me worry about my baby 122 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,004 and, uh, you worry about what your husband's watching. 123 00:04:29,605 --> 00:04:31,743 Easy, she's still a customer. 124 00:04:31,843 --> 00:04:33,012 Not anymore. 125 00:04:33,112 --> 00:04:34,448 And I'm gonna tell my prayer group 126 00:04:34,548 --> 00:04:35,718 not to come here either. 127 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:37,182 (scoffs) Okay, you do that. 128 00:04:37,183 --> 00:04:39,224 We have family entertainment as well. 129 00:04:39,325 --> 00:04:41,495 Sound of Music. No one shows nothing. 130 00:04:41,595 --> 00:04:43,900 Three times, really? 131 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,470 I'm 17. 132 00:04:47,507 --> 00:04:48,744 Well, I don't know, you're the lawyer. 133 00:04:48,844 --> 00:04:50,881 You know, if this invention's big, 134 00:04:50,981 --> 00:04:52,216 mama wants a taste. 135 00:04:52,316 --> 00:04:53,954 President Hagemeyer, a word. 136 00:04:54,054 --> 00:04:55,791 Here's a word: out. 137 00:04:55,891 --> 00:04:57,160 I understand you're moving forward 138 00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:58,830 with Sheldon's grant database. 139 00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:00,299 I was an intrinsic part of that. 140 00:05:00,399 --> 00:05:02,203 Hm, Sheldon didn't mention you. 141 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:05,042 Of course he didn't, that pint-sized little credit hog. 142 00:05:05,142 --> 00:05:07,046 Do I need to redo these contracts? 143 00:05:07,146 --> 00:05:09,317 - You betcha. - All right, just hold on. 144 00:05:09,417 --> 00:05:10,686 This is good for the university. 145 00:05:10,787 --> 00:05:12,290 This isn't about everybody 146 00:05:12,390 --> 00:05:13,960 getting a piece of the pie. 147 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:17,000 Oh, really? In that contract, does she get a piece of the pie? 148 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,004 - Uh... - Don't answer that, 149 00:05:19,104 --> 00:05:20,672 attorney-client whatever. 150 00:05:20,773 --> 00:05:23,445 Uh, technically my services are paid for by the uni... 151 00:05:23,545 --> 00:05:24,981 Shut up, Ken. 152 00:05:25,081 --> 00:05:26,584 Linda, be reasonable. 153 00:05:26,684 --> 00:05:28,121 I am. 154 00:05:28,222 --> 00:05:30,659 After all the Sheldon I've put up with, I deserve this. 155 00:05:30,759 --> 00:05:34,199 You deserve this? My office is basically his clubhouse. 156 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:36,704 Okay, I tell you what I'll do. 157 00:05:36,805 --> 00:05:39,243 If Sheldon's okay with it, 158 00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:41,147 you're welcome to part of his cut. 159 00:05:41,247 --> 00:05:43,051 That's not you doing anything. 160 00:05:45,689 --> 00:05:46,791 Hi there, Connie. 161 00:05:46,892 --> 00:05:48,963 Pastor Jeff. What can I do for you? 162 00:05:49,063 --> 00:05:52,603 I was hoping we could chat about your video store. 163 00:05:52,703 --> 00:05:53,704 What about it? 164 00:05:53,705 --> 00:05:58,414 I'm just so glad it's in the hands of a good Christian woman. 165 00:05:58,514 --> 00:05:59,817 Where you headed here, padre? 166 00:05:59,998 --> 00:06:01,935 (clears throat) Well, some of my flock 167 00:06:02,035 --> 00:06:04,239 have concerns about the movies y'all rent. 168 00:06:04,339 --> 00:06:07,880 You know, the ones with the sexual content 169 00:06:07,981 --> 00:06:09,449 and whatnot. 170 00:06:09,549 --> 00:06:11,553 If they don't want to see whatnot, 171 00:06:11,653 --> 00:06:13,524 then they shouldn't rent whatnot. 172 00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:17,132 I hear you. God gave us free will. (chuckles) 173 00:06:17,232 --> 00:06:18,934 But you're renting temptation. 174 00:06:19,036 --> 00:06:20,771 And you know who tempts us? 175 00:06:20,871 --> 00:06:22,209 The devil. 176 00:06:23,144 --> 00:06:25,815 So, that's who's making me want to slam this door in your face. 177 00:06:25,915 --> 00:06:27,885 I'm just here to give you a heads-up. 178 00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:32,329 People are upset and I'd hate to see your business suffer. 179 00:06:33,231 --> 00:06:35,735 - Are you threatening me? - No, uh, I'm sorry. 180 00:06:35,835 --> 00:06:38,306 Uh, let me just take off my pastor hat, 181 00:06:38,407 --> 00:06:40,244 put on my neighbor cap, 182 00:06:40,345 --> 00:06:41,713 and start again. 183 00:06:41,813 --> 00:06:43,884 I'm gonna put on my hat, too. 184 00:06:43,984 --> 00:06:46,156 It's got a big foam finger on top of it. 185 00:06:46,256 --> 00:06:47,692 Guess which one. 186 00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:48,861 The naughty one? 187 00:06:48,961 --> 00:06:50,565 Bingo. 188 00:06:51,767 --> 00:06:53,470 ♪ 189 00:06:53,571 --> 00:06:55,941 Mr. Vance, thank you for taking the time to see us. 190 00:06:56,042 --> 00:06:57,478 Oh, no problem. (chuckles) 191 00:06:57,578 --> 00:07:00,016 You know, I don't ordinarily handle 192 00:07:00,117 --> 00:07:02,088 intellectual property contracts, 193 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:04,092 I'm more of a slip-and-fall guy. 194 00:07:04,192 --> 00:07:06,963 I have seen your face on those park bench ads. 195 00:07:07,064 --> 00:07:11,672 Oh, you fall in the park, this is the first thing you see. 196 00:07:11,772 --> 00:07:13,443 So, as I said on the phone, 197 00:07:13,543 --> 00:07:16,649 our son invented something that his university's interested in, 198 00:07:16,749 --> 00:07:19,255 but we feel they might be trying to keep 199 00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:20,690 the lion's share for themselves. 200 00:07:20,790 --> 00:07:23,196 You really think it's gonna be worth something? 201 00:07:23,296 --> 00:07:26,402 University seems to think so. They want 90% of it. 202 00:07:26,502 --> 00:07:28,573 Oh, is that so? 203 00:07:29,675 --> 00:07:30,676 What's the invention? 204 00:07:30,744 --> 00:07:32,681 We don't really understand it. 205 00:07:32,781 --> 00:07:35,487 Oh, you know, it's a computer... 206 00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:36,922 - thing. - (scoffs) 207 00:07:37,022 --> 00:07:39,628 Adding machine and carbon paper got me this far. 208 00:07:39,728 --> 00:07:40,997 Mm. 209 00:07:41,097 --> 00:07:42,200 What... what am I smelling? 210 00:07:42,300 --> 00:07:44,438 Beef and broccoli. 211 00:07:44,538 --> 00:07:46,107 Chinese place downstairs. 212 00:07:46,208 --> 00:07:48,479 Ooh, do they have good chop suey? I can never find good... 213 00:07:48,580 --> 00:07:50,750 - George. - You were saying? 214 00:07:53,155 --> 00:07:55,727 Sheldon, we need to talk. 215 00:07:55,827 --> 00:07:58,700 You should keep your voice down. This is a library. 216 00:08:00,837 --> 00:08:03,041 Do you remember when we came up with the idea 217 00:08:03,141 --> 00:08:04,477 for that grant database? 218 00:08:04,577 --> 00:08:06,348 I remember when I came up with the idea. 219 00:08:06,448 --> 00:08:07,818 Uh, in my office. 220 00:08:07,918 --> 00:08:10,890 - In my brain. - Which was in my office. 221 00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,360 And, as I recall, 222 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:14,163 I was the one who suggested you build a database. 223 00:08:14,264 --> 00:08:17,303 No, you suggested I build a comic book database. 224 00:08:17,403 --> 00:08:20,243 Which was the underlying idea. 225 00:08:20,343 --> 00:08:22,913 Fire is the underlying idea for the nuclear power plant, 226 00:08:23,013 --> 00:08:24,851 and no one credits the caveman. 227 00:08:26,488 --> 00:08:27,890 Son... 228 00:08:27,990 --> 00:08:30,629 and I call you son because I think of you as family. 229 00:08:31,631 --> 00:08:33,535 Is this the way you would treat your own family? 230 00:08:33,635 --> 00:08:36,708 Not my mom. Everyone else is on their own. 231 00:08:37,877 --> 00:08:41,518 JEFF (in distance): Thank you for saying no to sin! 232 00:08:41,618 --> 00:08:45,157 Oh, you got to be kidding me. 233 00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:48,699 What are you doing? 234 00:08:48,799 --> 00:08:50,703 We're just asking people to sign our petition 235 00:08:50,803 --> 00:08:54,042 - if they agree that sin has no place in cinema. - Huh. 236 00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,046 - Clever. - Thanks. 237 00:08:56,146 --> 00:08:59,119 And God doesn't want us seeing people's private parts. 238 00:08:59,219 --> 00:09:01,256 Didn't he make people's private parts? 239 00:09:01,357 --> 00:09:04,730 He did, and then he made clothes to cover 'em right up. 240 00:09:04,831 --> 00:09:07,469 (sighs) You are scaring away my customers. 241 00:09:07,569 --> 00:09:09,272 You know what's scarier? Hell. 242 00:09:09,373 --> 00:09:12,346 Look, you can't just sit here in front of my store. 243 00:09:12,446 --> 00:09:14,316 Freedom of speech. We're allowed. 244 00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:16,387 And we're allowed to rent whatever movies we want. 245 00:09:16,487 --> 00:09:17,756 People can choose for themselves. 246 00:09:17,856 --> 00:09:19,292 They sure can. 247 00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,566 If you love God and hate the devil, sign here. 248 00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:26,239 Where is your halo? 'Cause you are an angel. (chuckles) 249 00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:30,582 Let's just see what the people think about this. 250 00:09:34,756 --> 00:09:35,647 Yeah. 251 00:09:39,439 --> 00:09:40,440 MEEMAW: What are you doing? 252 00:09:40,441 --> 00:09:42,477 We just finally got those killjoys out of here. 253 00:09:42,578 --> 00:09:43,747 Yeah, it was amazing. 254 00:09:43,847 --> 00:09:45,517 Have you two lost your minds? 255 00:09:45,617 --> 00:09:47,120 We do not need this kind of attention. 256 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:48,890 Attention's good. 257 00:09:48,990 --> 00:09:50,627 Like, free advertising. 258 00:09:50,727 --> 00:09:52,665 We're running an illegal gambling room in the back. 259 00:09:52,765 --> 00:09:54,535 - Oh, that'll be fine. - For you. 260 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,639 If we get arrested, y'all go to lady jail. 261 00:09:56,739 --> 00:09:59,378 I have to go to scary jail. I'm too pretty for scary jail. 262 00:09:59,478 --> 00:10:00,814 No more prison movies for you. 263 00:10:00,914 --> 00:10:03,452 So you're saying we should just give in, 264 00:10:03,553 --> 00:10:06,224 after what that holy-rolling Muppet 265 00:10:06,324 --> 00:10:08,395 has done to your whole family? 266 00:10:08,495 --> 00:10:10,399 He does look like a Muppet. 267 00:10:10,499 --> 00:10:12,003 All I'm saying is we need to remember 268 00:10:12,103 --> 00:10:13,740 where the real money's coming from. 269 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,713 If we want it to keep coming, you got to back off. 270 00:10:18,115 --> 00:10:21,454 Okay, fine. I'll behave. 271 00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,560 When did you start to be the responsible one? 272 00:10:24,661 --> 00:10:27,033 Hey, I don't like it, either. 273 00:10:28,368 --> 00:10:31,908 Ah, just the young genius I was hoping to see. 274 00:10:32,710 --> 00:10:35,048 Look, I've heard from your parents' lawyer, 275 00:10:35,149 --> 00:10:37,486 and I'm a little concerned 276 00:10:37,586 --> 00:10:39,858 that this whole thing is getting out of hand. 277 00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:42,128 How so? Well, you know, lawyers get involved 278 00:10:42,229 --> 00:10:45,469 and everything slows down and, well, I'm just worried 279 00:10:45,569 --> 00:10:47,473 that someone else might come up 280 00:10:47,573 --> 00:10:49,276 with the same idea in the meantime. 281 00:10:49,377 --> 00:10:51,514 I didn't think of that. We should get started. 282 00:10:51,614 --> 00:10:53,652 I agree, but, well, we can't get started 283 00:10:53,752 --> 00:10:55,488 until the paperwork is signed. 284 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,626 Ugh! Those darn lawyers. 285 00:10:57,727 --> 00:10:59,262 Well, how can we fix this? 286 00:10:59,362 --> 00:11:07,145 Hmm. Well, I guess if you could, well, convince your parents to sign, 287 00:11:07,245 --> 00:11:08,849 then we could get rolling. 288 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:13,024 And to make it worth your while, 289 00:11:13,124 --> 00:11:16,797 how about we put your name on one of these buildings? 290 00:11:16,897 --> 00:11:20,238 How would you feel about "Sheldon Cooper Science Center"? 291 00:11:20,338 --> 00:11:22,709 I'm sorry. Did you say, "Sheldon Cooper Science Center," 292 00:11:22,809 --> 00:11:25,047 or "Sheldon Cooper's Science Center"? 293 00:11:25,148 --> 00:11:26,183 Well, which do you like? 294 00:11:26,283 --> 00:11:27,318 I prefer the possessive. 295 00:11:27,418 --> 00:11:28,755 It makes it much more mine. 296 00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,560 Then "Sheldon Cooper's Science Center" it is. 297 00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:34,198 (laughs) So, do we have a deal? 298 00:11:34,299 --> 00:11:35,969 - Okay. - Excellent. 299 00:11:36,069 --> 00:11:39,609 Now get out of here before I pinch those cheeks. 300 00:11:41,312 --> 00:11:42,381 (sighs) 301 00:11:42,482 --> 00:11:44,051 (knocking) 302 00:11:44,151 --> 00:11:46,991 I will remind you my wife is a police officer. 303 00:11:47,091 --> 00:11:49,830 I've just come with a little peace offering. 304 00:11:50,999 --> 00:11:55,040 My last copy of Basic Instinct. 305 00:11:55,140 --> 00:11:59,248 So there you go. No more naked ladies, 306 00:11:59,348 --> 00:12:00,483 no more Michael Douglas' 307 00:12:00,583 --> 00:12:03,689 bare butt giving me impure thoughts. 308 00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,896 The town is safe again. 309 00:12:06,997 --> 00:12:09,301 Well, thank you for seeing reason. 310 00:12:09,401 --> 00:12:13,509 Well, what kind of good Christian woman would I be if I didn't? 311 00:12:13,609 --> 00:12:15,848 - (chuckles) - So, we square? 312 00:12:15,948 --> 00:12:18,719 It's not about you and me being square, Connie. 313 00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:22,561 It's about you and El Jefe Grande. 314 00:12:22,661 --> 00:12:25,567 Mm-hmm. 315 00:12:25,667 --> 00:12:28,072 Well, goodbye. 316 00:12:28,172 --> 00:12:30,376 You know, I'd be happy to come down 317 00:12:30,477 --> 00:12:32,346 and let you know what other movies are objectionable 318 00:12:32,446 --> 00:12:35,286 so we don't have another situation on our hands. 319 00:12:35,386 --> 00:12:39,094 You want to take more movies out of my store? 320 00:12:39,194 --> 00:12:41,699 Again, not me, but there's a guy with a thumb 321 00:12:41,799 --> 00:12:44,137 a lot bigger than Siskel or Ebert's. 322 00:12:48,345 --> 00:12:50,249 Sheldon, thank you for coming in. 323 00:12:50,349 --> 00:12:53,355 I want to apologize for our little tiff earlier. 324 00:12:53,455 --> 00:12:54,457 You're forgiven. 325 00:12:54,557 --> 00:12:55,994 Oh. Great. 326 00:12:56,094 --> 00:13:00,402 I found something that might be of interest to you. 327 00:13:00,502 --> 00:13:03,608 An authentic signature from Richard Feynman. 328 00:13:03,708 --> 00:13:04,877 Where did you get this? 329 00:13:04,978 --> 00:13:06,214 Details aren't important. 330 00:13:06,314 --> 00:13:08,585 - Is this a restraining order? - Not important. 331 00:13:08,685 --> 00:13:10,155 That's actually a really good way to get autographs. 332 00:13:10,255 --> 00:13:11,858 I'll have to keep that in mind. 333 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:14,063 Well, it's yours, from one scientist to another, 334 00:13:14,163 --> 00:13:15,532 and that's my point, really. 335 00:13:15,632 --> 00:13:18,438 - You and I... we need to stick together. - Why? 336 00:13:18,538 --> 00:13:20,909 Because this university is filled with people 337 00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,780 who want to exploit our ideas. 338 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,316 That's not my experience. 339 00:13:24,416 --> 00:13:26,253 President Hagemeyer just offered me my own building. 340 00:13:26,353 --> 00:13:28,324 You're being manipulated, you don't even know it. 341 00:13:28,424 --> 00:13:30,528 Sheldon, I've seen this a thousand times... 342 00:13:30,628 --> 00:13:34,403 a brilliant young mind like yours taken advantage of. 343 00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:36,207 But isn't that what you're trying to do? 344 00:13:36,307 --> 00:13:38,044 Absolutely not. 345 00:13:38,144 --> 00:13:39,947 President Hagemeyer's was a bribe. 346 00:13:40,048 --> 00:13:43,954 That is a gift from one peer to another. 347 00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:46,027 (laughs) So what do you say? 348 00:13:46,127 --> 00:13:47,762 Are you a scientist 349 00:13:47,862 --> 00:13:49,599 or are you a pawn of the administration? 350 00:13:49,699 --> 00:13:50,868 A scientist. 351 00:13:50,968 --> 00:13:52,705 Yes, you are. (laughs) 352 00:13:52,805 --> 00:13:54,509 So, we have a deal? 353 00:13:54,609 --> 00:13:57,148 Okay. 354 00:13:57,249 --> 00:13:58,851 MEEMAW: I'd like to order 355 00:13:58,951 --> 00:14:01,156 five more copies of Basic Instinct 356 00:14:01,256 --> 00:14:05,164 and a couple more of Fatal Attraction. 357 00:14:05,264 --> 00:14:08,804 - Anything else? - Ooh, uh, get a Last Temptation of Christ. 358 00:14:08,904 --> 00:14:10,307 That'll really piss people off. 359 00:14:10,407 --> 00:14:13,480 And a copy of The Last Temptation of Christ 360 00:14:13,581 --> 00:14:14,883 to really piss people off. 361 00:14:14,983 --> 00:14:16,787 Thank you. 362 00:14:16,887 --> 00:14:18,456 What are y'all doing? 363 00:14:18,556 --> 00:14:20,895 Well, I tried to be nice but he kept pushing. 364 00:14:20,995 --> 00:14:22,431 Yeah, so now we're pushing back. 365 00:14:22,531 --> 00:14:23,766 Why do you care? 366 00:14:23,867 --> 00:14:25,170 Because I don't like anybody telling me how 367 00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:27,074 to run my business, especially him. 368 00:14:27,174 --> 00:14:29,212 This is not your business. 369 00:14:29,312 --> 00:14:31,416 That room back there with the shady piles of money... 370 00:14:31,516 --> 00:14:34,955 that's your business. Your secret, illegal business. 371 00:14:35,056 --> 00:14:36,826 So, what, are we just supposed 372 00:14:36,926 --> 00:14:38,930 to become a Christian video store now? 373 00:14:39,030 --> 00:14:40,967 You know what? In this town, I... 374 00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:43,673 No! I am not gonna let that man win. 375 00:14:43,773 --> 00:14:45,944 Hi. I'm with Channel 7 news. 376 00:14:46,044 --> 00:14:47,548 Can I help you? 377 00:14:47,648 --> 00:14:50,787 A local pastor has put together a petition of citizens 378 00:14:50,887 --> 00:14:53,960 concerned about the vulgar content of your video store. 379 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,363 Would you care to comment? 380 00:14:55,464 --> 00:14:57,968 Damn straight I would. I want him to know... 381 00:14:58,068 --> 00:15:00,038 - Give me. Give me. - No, give me that. I want... 382 00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,978 I can assure you there's nothing immoral 383 00:15:03,078 --> 00:15:03,994 or indecent going on here. 384 00:15:06,814 --> 00:15:07,822 Mm. So, we were talking to the lawyer... 385 00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,571 Here comes the divorce. 386 00:15:09,672 --> 00:15:11,118 We are not getting divorced. 387 00:15:11,219 --> 00:15:12,462 Then why do we have a lawyer? 388 00:15:12,564 --> 00:15:13,774 Sheldon invented something 389 00:15:13,875 --> 00:15:15,052 that the university's interested in 390 00:15:15,153 --> 00:15:16,901 and it could be worth some money. 391 00:15:17,002 --> 00:15:18,684 You always were my favorite brother. 392 00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,936 This morning you licked your finger and put it in my ear. 393 00:15:21,037 --> 00:15:22,381 That means I like you. 394 00:15:22,482 --> 00:15:24,298 Anyway, the lawyer wants to sit down with you 395 00:15:24,398 --> 00:15:26,349 before he gets into it with the university. 396 00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:28,837 I don't know. I hear lawyers slow things down. 397 00:15:28,938 --> 00:15:29,981 What? 398 00:15:30,082 --> 00:15:31,662 Shelly, this is for your future. 399 00:15:31,763 --> 00:15:35,091 We're just trying to make sure that you're taken care of. 400 00:15:35,192 --> 00:15:36,740 I don't care about money. 401 00:15:36,841 --> 00:15:39,933 Well, someday you might when you have your own wife and kids. 402 00:15:40,034 --> 00:15:41,547 I don't see that happening. 403 00:15:41,647 --> 00:15:44,371 No one sees that happening. And I say that with love. 404 00:15:44,472 --> 00:15:46,456 Sheldon, this is important to all of us. 405 00:15:46,557 --> 00:15:48,810 Uh, you got to think about your family. 406 00:15:48,911 --> 00:15:50,558 Shelly, he's right. 407 00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:54,055 Did you put extra hot dogs in this spaghetti? 408 00:15:54,156 --> 00:15:55,837 I did. 409 00:15:56,812 --> 00:15:59,738 Okay, I'll talk with the lawyer. 410 00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:02,764 (whispering): You're good. 411 00:16:04,344 --> 00:16:06,899 Well, I'm-I'm so glad that we can all sit down together. 412 00:16:07,001 --> 00:16:10,799 And I have a feeling we are gonna come to a quick agreement. 413 00:16:11,641 --> 00:16:14,398 I have a feeling we are. 414 00:16:14,498 --> 00:16:15,910 So, I have redrawn the contracts... 415 00:16:16,011 --> 00:16:17,558 Sorry we're late. 416 00:16:17,659 --> 00:16:19,844 What are you doing here? And who's he? 417 00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:21,559 - I'm his cousin. - And lawyer. 418 00:16:21,660 --> 00:16:23,308 Really, Grant? 419 00:16:23,409 --> 00:16:25,325 - Yeah, really. - Let me talk for you. 420 00:16:25,426 --> 00:16:26,636 Yeah, really. 421 00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:29,495 Okay. Fine, fine. Stay. 422 00:16:30,470 --> 00:16:32,353 It really doesn't make any difference because 423 00:16:32,454 --> 00:16:36,152 Sheldon agrees that this is in the best interest of everyone. 424 00:16:36,254 --> 00:16:38,506 - You said that? - Yes. 425 00:16:38,607 --> 00:16:41,196 - Hold on. Sheldon told me... - Grant. 426 00:16:42,843 --> 00:16:46,272 Sheldon informed my client that their interests were aligned. 427 00:16:46,374 --> 00:16:48,425 - You told him that? - Yes. 428 00:16:48,526 --> 00:16:50,643 You told me he was on our side. 429 00:16:50,644 --> 00:16:52,291 Didn't you tell them that? 430 00:16:52,393 --> 00:16:53,401 Yes. 431 00:16:53,402 --> 00:16:54,915 Which is it, Sheldon? 432 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:58,209 Yeah, Sheldon. Whose side are you on? 433 00:16:58,309 --> 00:17:00,059 Shelly? 434 00:17:00,866 --> 00:17:03,656 I don't know and I don't care. 435 00:17:03,757 --> 00:17:05,068 I just want to build the database. 436 00:17:05,169 --> 00:17:07,725 Why can't this just be about the science? 437 00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:10,280 W-why are you making it all about the money? 438 00:17:11,087 --> 00:17:13,811 This was supposed to be exciting, and you're ruining it. 439 00:17:16,231 --> 00:17:18,350 Oh... 440 00:17:18,450 --> 00:17:21,343 I'm telling you, I can do it on my own. 441 00:17:21,443 --> 00:17:22,789 Shelly? 442 00:17:23,595 --> 00:17:25,848 I don't want to be in the middle anymore. 443 00:17:25,949 --> 00:17:28,908 I know. I... I came out to apologize. 444 00:17:29,009 --> 00:17:30,454 We made that all about us 445 00:17:30,555 --> 00:17:32,505 and it should be about what you want. 446 00:17:32,606 --> 00:17:34,220 Thanks. 447 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:38,222 So... why don't you take a little time 448 00:17:38,322 --> 00:17:40,710 and figure out what's gonna make you happy? 449 00:17:40,811 --> 00:17:41,987 I will. 450 00:17:42,088 --> 00:17:43,366 Okay, I did. 451 00:17:43,467 --> 00:17:46,728 Oh. All right. Well, what did you decide? 452 00:17:46,829 --> 00:17:49,587 - I'm cutting everybody out and doing this myself. - What? 453 00:17:49,687 --> 00:17:52,142 I don't need the university and I don't need Dr. Linkletter. 454 00:17:52,243 --> 00:17:54,092 How are you gonna pay for all this? 455 00:17:54,193 --> 00:17:55,605 I'll find private investors. 456 00:17:55,705 --> 00:17:57,555 They can pay for it on the condition I'm left alone. 457 00:17:57,656 --> 00:18:00,884 Are you sure you don't want to think about this a little more? 458 00:18:00,986 --> 00:18:02,397 Perhaps you're right. 459 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:04,851 - Done. I'm good. - Where you going? 460 00:18:04,952 --> 00:18:07,205 My dorm. I have some calls to make. Love you. 461 00:18:07,306 --> 00:18:08,932 Love you, too. 462 00:18:17,236 --> 00:18:18,871 Don't you have Die Hard? 463 00:18:18,971 --> 00:18:21,106 - Not anymore. - Why? 464 00:18:21,206 --> 00:18:23,376 It had that bad word in it. 465 00:18:23,476 --> 00:18:27,714 - What? - "Yippee-ki-yay," etcetera. 466 00:18:28,481 --> 00:18:30,718 This store sucks. 467 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,053 We know. 468 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:34,556 - Maybe you'd like The Singing Nun. - Nope. 469 00:18:35,857 --> 00:18:39,461 Has anybody ever rented The Singing Nun? 470 00:18:41,964 --> 00:18:43,398 Just Pastor Jeff. 471 00:18:43,498 --> 00:18:45,000 That figures. 472 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,468 Wait a minute. 473 00:18:46,569 --> 00:18:50,423 You can see all the movies that Pastor Jeff ever rented? 474 00:18:50,424 --> 00:18:53,009 You can see any movie everyone's rented. 475 00:18:53,109 --> 00:18:57,447 Well, let's just see if he's as pious as he pretends to be. 476 00:18:57,548 --> 00:19:01,051 Let's find out. (grunts) 477 00:19:01,151 --> 00:19:02,152 (typing) 478 00:19:02,252 --> 00:19:04,522 Jesus Christ Superstar, 479 00:19:04,623 --> 00:19:07,125 Jesus of Nazareth, 480 00:19:07,225 --> 00:19:08,393 The Blood of Jesus. 481 00:19:08,493 --> 00:19:09,728 Good Lord. 482 00:19:09,828 --> 00:19:11,362 How many Jesus movies are there? 483 00:19:11,462 --> 00:19:13,032 Oh, what about his wife? 484 00:19:13,132 --> 00:19:15,534 - Oh. - Mm. 485 00:19:15,635 --> 00:19:18,638 - Show me, show me. - Mm. 486 00:19:21,007 --> 00:19:22,075 Hello, Pastor Jeff. 487 00:19:22,175 --> 00:19:23,443 - (door closes) - Hey there, Connie. 488 00:19:23,543 --> 00:19:24,978 What brings you by? 489 00:19:25,078 --> 00:19:29,216 I just wanted to drop off a little gift. 490 00:19:29,316 --> 00:19:30,852 Dirty Dancing? 491 00:19:30,952 --> 00:19:33,221 I think you know how I feel about this movie. 492 00:19:33,321 --> 00:19:35,123 I do. 493 00:19:35,223 --> 00:19:37,859 I also know how your wife feels about it. 494 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,094 What? 495 00:19:39,194 --> 00:19:40,596 She's rented it five times. 496 00:19:40,696 --> 00:19:43,465 That's a lot of shirtless Patrick Swayze. 497 00:19:43,565 --> 00:19:45,300 Must be some mistake. 498 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,338 There isn't. Shall we talk about Fatal Attraction? 499 00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:50,473 - Do we have to? - Six times. 500 00:19:50,573 --> 00:19:53,343 - Are you blackmailing me? - Yeah. 501 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:54,778 Well, it's not gonna work. 502 00:19:54,878 --> 00:19:57,081 I'm a man of principles and I stand by them. 503 00:19:57,181 --> 00:19:59,050 And I respect that. 504 00:20:00,184 --> 00:20:03,154 So let's talk about what your church elders are renting. 505 00:20:03,254 --> 00:20:05,157 - Oh, come on. - Want to know? 506 00:20:05,257 --> 00:20:06,358 Is it bad? 507 00:20:06,458 --> 00:20:09,427 - It's Porky's bad. - (whimpers) 508 00:20:09,527 --> 00:20:11,363 How your principles feeling now? 509 00:20:12,130 --> 00:20:13,833 ADULT SHELDON: I'm going to end this story 510 00:20:13,933 --> 00:20:16,335 so you don't have to see a grown man beg for mercy. 511 00:20:16,435 --> 00:20:18,037 Connie, please... 512 00:20:19,028 --> 00:20:24,029 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -