1 00:00:13,427 --> 00:00:16,658 So, l'm really happy with my new sneakers. 2 00:00:18,131 --> 00:00:20,429 You know, 'cause they're gray. 3 00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:25,870 And if you think about it, it's a good color 'cause white is really too bright... 4 00:00:25,939 --> 00:00:28,737 and black is almost like a pair of shoes. 5 00:00:29,876 --> 00:00:33,403 And gray is kind of right in the middle. They look good. 6 00:00:34,281 --> 00:00:36,806 We should get back to Cheryl. 7 00:00:37,084 --> 00:00:38,847 You know, we just don't do enough things together. 8 00:00:38,848 --> 00:00:42,908 She plays tennis, she won't play golf. I can't play tennis because of my neck. 9 00:00:43,690 --> 00:00:46,921 I can't serve, l'll have to make dainty little serves... 10 00:00:46,993 --> 00:00:48,756 and she'll beat me every time. 11 00:00:48,829 --> 00:00:52,856 - What else does Cheryl like to do? - She likes the outdoors. 12 00:00:52,933 --> 00:00:55,595 I don't really like the outdoors, you know. 13 00:00:55,669 --> 00:00:58,160 It's not a good place for bald people out there. 14 00:00:58,238 --> 00:01:01,401 - What about the beach? - I don't like the beach in particular. 15 00:01:01,475 --> 00:01:03,602 The beach is lovely this time of year. 16 00:01:03,677 --> 00:01:05,804 I go up to Santa Barbara, we go to the beach. 17 00:01:05,879 --> 00:01:07,676 Very nice, it's not crowded. 18 00:01:07,748 --> 00:01:12,378 I mean, if I went to the beach with her she would be... 19 00:01:14,388 --> 00:01:17,016 She wouldn't know what to think, yeah. 20 00:01:17,524 --> 00:01:19,549 - She'd be happy. - Yeah, she'd be very happy. 21 00:01:19,626 --> 00:01:22,026 - Go to the beach with her. - Hate it. 22 00:01:22,729 --> 00:01:26,859 All those disgusting bodies walking around, l have to look at them. 23 00:01:30,237 --> 00:01:31,761 Our time is up. 24 00:01:33,673 --> 00:01:36,073 Maybe l'll take her to the beach. 25 00:01:36,243 --> 00:01:38,234 - Maybe I will. - Good idea. 26 00:01:47,354 --> 00:01:50,619 Okay, see you next week, be well. 27 00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:54,518 - How you doing? - Good, how are you? 28 00:01:54,628 --> 00:01:56,892 Nice to see you. You cured? 29 00:01:57,030 --> 00:01:59,794 - 100%% . - You had the big breakthrough? 30 00:01:59,866 --> 00:02:03,097 - I think l'm ready to terminate. - Okay, yeah. Great. 31 00:02:03,203 --> 00:02:05,637 It's such nonsense, isn't it? What are you gonna do? 32 00:02:05,705 --> 00:02:07,172 You can't bother your friends with this stuff. 33 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,333 - This goes on forever. - I know. 34 00:02:09,409 --> 00:02:12,310 - Rob, have a seat, l'll be right in. - Okay, all right. 35 00:02:13,246 --> 00:02:17,546 Yeah, listen, I just want to say, l'm doing this charity thing. 36 00:02:18,051 --> 00:02:21,782 I'm the chairman of this... You know what Groat's syndrome is? 37 00:02:22,222 --> 00:02:25,055 Groat, have you ever heard of Groat's syndrome? 38 00:02:25,125 --> 00:02:29,687 It's a syndrome. I mean, and it affects kids and adults... 39 00:02:29,963 --> 00:02:33,899 who have a tough time controlling their hyperactivity. 40 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,594 It's just like, if you were on five cups of coffee... 41 00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:37,796 at all times. 42 00:02:37,871 --> 00:02:40,066 And so, we're doing a big celebrity auction. 43 00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:43,109 And it would be great if you would agree to... 44 00:02:43,176 --> 00:02:46,668 allow yourself to be auctioned off and have lunch with somebody. 45 00:02:46,746 --> 00:02:50,739 I mean, a lot of people are doing it. Tony Danza, and Ted Danson... 46 00:02:51,117 --> 00:02:54,177 Wait a second, Rob, first of all... 47 00:02:54,521 --> 00:02:57,888 l'm flattered that you would even think of me for this... 48 00:02:57,958 --> 00:03:00,358 but, Rob, no one wants to have lunch with me. 49 00:03:00,427 --> 00:03:02,418 No, you are the guy who created Seinfeld. 50 00:03:02,496 --> 00:03:06,125 - Yeah, but I mean... - The people'd love to be sitting... 51 00:03:06,199 --> 00:03:09,259 No one's gonna bid any money. It's gonna be embarrassing. 52 00:03:09,336 --> 00:03:13,295 To go to a Larry David lunch? 50 cents, you know, it's ridiculous. 53 00:03:13,373 --> 00:03:16,035 You'll be surprised how much money we'll be able to generate... 54 00:03:16,109 --> 00:03:19,044 just by you agreeing to have lunch with them. 55 00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:24,474 I just feel like there's a lot of pressure for me to be entertaining... 56 00:03:24,551 --> 00:03:27,247 No, you don't have to be entertaining. Just be yourself... 57 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,254 and they'll just be thrilled to be with you. 58 00:03:29,322 --> 00:03:31,017 - If you don't want to... - No, l'll do it. 59 00:03:31,091 --> 00:03:32,319 You will? Great. 60 00:03:32,392 --> 00:03:35,088 You'll be surprised at how much you go for. 61 00:03:35,529 --> 00:03:36,996 Surprised, l'm gonna be... 62 00:03:37,063 --> 00:03:39,691 l think you're gonna be surprised at how little I go for. 63 00:03:39,766 --> 00:03:42,496 Anyway, thanks, Larry, I really appreciate it. That's great. 64 00:04:05,859 --> 00:04:07,850 I think that Santa Barbara thing... 65 00:04:07,928 --> 00:04:10,954 l think that's a pretty good idea. 66 00:04:11,631 --> 00:04:13,599 I think l'm gonna do it. 67 00:04:16,970 --> 00:04:20,599 You know, go to Santa Barbara one day. 68 00:04:28,448 --> 00:04:30,814 So, what are you doing on Saturday? 69 00:04:30,884 --> 00:04:33,148 What do you think about going to the beach? 70 00:04:33,219 --> 00:04:34,709 Santa Barbara. 71 00:04:35,989 --> 00:04:38,082 - The two of us? - Any interest in that? 72 00:04:38,158 --> 00:04:39,785 - Yeah. - Really? 73 00:04:40,093 --> 00:04:42,254 - I think that would be wonderful. - Do you? 74 00:04:42,329 --> 00:04:43,353 - Of course. - Really? 75 00:04:43,430 --> 00:04:46,160 Don't you think I would love to go to the beach? 76 00:04:46,232 --> 00:04:48,427 - Do you? You want to? - I can't believe that. 77 00:04:48,501 --> 00:04:51,061 What about golf, you're not playing golf? 78 00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:53,605 I don't have to play. I won't play, big deal. 79 00:04:53,673 --> 00:04:55,834 You don't have to play every Saturday. 80 00:04:55,909 --> 00:04:58,537 - No, of course not. - You can spend the day with your wife. 81 00:04:58,612 --> 00:05:02,946 - Exactly, that's what l'm doing. - I would love to accept your invitation. 82 00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:05,950 Okay, you got a date. Now, what do I need to bring? 83 00:05:06,019 --> 00:05:08,783 - You don't need to... - I need a bathing suit, right? 84 00:05:08,855 --> 00:05:09,922 You need a bathing suit... 85 00:05:09,923 --> 00:05:12,414 but that's all you need to worry yourself with, okay? 86 00:05:12,492 --> 00:05:14,187 I'll take care of the rest. 87 00:05:14,260 --> 00:05:17,821 A radio? Is there a ballgame l can listen to or anything? 88 00:05:18,098 --> 00:05:20,931 Then you're defeating the purpose, aren't you? 89 00:05:21,001 --> 00:05:23,697 So what do you do, you lie down on a blanket, and... 90 00:05:23,770 --> 00:05:25,761 You bask in the sun. 91 00:05:25,905 --> 00:05:27,395 Don't forget sun block. 92 00:05:27,474 --> 00:05:28,998 I will not forget sun block. 93 00:05:29,075 --> 00:05:33,239 - 35, 40. As high as you can get. - As high as I can get. 94 00:05:33,313 --> 00:05:35,975 Gotcha. I'm looking forward to it. 95 00:05:44,924 --> 00:05:46,255 All right. 96 00:05:48,461 --> 00:05:51,396 That was a nice drive, I have to say. 97 00:05:51,464 --> 00:05:53,193 Yeah, look at this. 98 00:05:56,436 --> 00:05:58,404 It's beautiful out here. 99 00:05:59,973 --> 00:06:02,703 All right, let's see, l'll grab this. 100 00:06:08,715 --> 00:06:10,205 Shoes in here. 101 00:06:12,719 --> 00:06:16,120 - I'll get this. - What, where do I put this suit on? 102 00:06:16,423 --> 00:06:19,085 - Why didn't you wear it? - You got yours on? 103 00:06:19,159 --> 00:06:20,592 Of course. 104 00:06:20,994 --> 00:06:23,019 I thought l'd be uncomfortable. 105 00:06:23,096 --> 00:06:24,495 You're going to the beach. 106 00:06:24,564 --> 00:06:28,125 I didn't want to drive an hour and a half with a bathing suit on. 107 00:06:28,601 --> 00:06:32,469 I don't have to put it on. I'm not gonna go swimming anyway, am l? 108 00:06:32,539 --> 00:06:34,564 So what's the difference? 109 00:06:35,608 --> 00:06:37,371 This is beautiful. 110 00:06:44,818 --> 00:06:46,843 You want this water cooler? 111 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,411 - Yeah. - Okay. 112 00:06:50,457 --> 00:06:54,325 I can't carry all this stuff. What about the umbrella, you want that too? 113 00:06:54,394 --> 00:06:55,793 Yes, please. 114 00:06:56,196 --> 00:06:58,926 Oh, my God, this is gorgeous. 115 00:07:22,555 --> 00:07:24,420 - Got any sun block? - Yeah. 116 00:07:33,466 --> 00:07:38,233 Jews buy, like, 85%% of the sun block that's sold in this country, don't you think? 117 00:07:38,905 --> 00:07:40,031 I've never thought about... 118 00:07:40,106 --> 00:07:42,870 Without Jews these sun block people would be out of business. 119 00:07:42,942 --> 00:07:44,034 Is that right? 120 00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:48,444 Yeah, l've never once seen a Gentile ask for, or even put on, sun block. 121 00:07:48,815 --> 00:07:49,907 True. 122 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:03,959 I don't really get this fascination that people have with the ocean. 123 00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:05,054 No? 124 00:08:05,865 --> 00:08:08,993 I stare at it for 10 minutes and I go, "Okay, I get it." 125 00:08:09,102 --> 00:08:10,967 Don't you feel calmer? 126 00:08:11,271 --> 00:08:15,264 I feel aggravated that l'm missing what other people are getting. 127 00:08:25,318 --> 00:08:27,309 - Holy shit. - What? 128 00:08:27,453 --> 00:08:31,355 I think I just saw my therapist. You see a guy in a striped bathing suit? 129 00:08:31,424 --> 00:08:33,551 Skimpy, skimpy suit, you see that? 130 00:08:33,626 --> 00:08:36,595 - Yeah, I see him. - Yeah, that's my therapist. 131 00:08:37,230 --> 00:08:38,720 Why don't you go say hi? 132 00:08:38,798 --> 00:08:42,990 - I can't talk to him in that bathing suit. - It is pretty small. 133 00:08:43,102 --> 00:08:45,593 How can he walk around in a bathing suit like that? 134 00:08:45,672 --> 00:08:49,631 I mean, he's at the beach, he can wear whatever he wants, right? 135 00:08:49,709 --> 00:08:54,112 - What's he doing? - He's just kind of settling in. 136 00:08:56,182 --> 00:09:00,710 Did you see the back of his bathing suit? How does he walk around like that? 137 00:09:00,787 --> 00:09:02,846 Can we go? Let's just go. 138 00:09:02,956 --> 00:09:05,823 We just got here, we're not gonna go. 139 00:09:06,359 --> 00:09:10,921 That's ridiculous. Plus, if you get up, don't you think he'll see you then? 140 00:09:12,065 --> 00:09:14,659 I've got to stay like this now, for the rest of the day? 141 00:09:14,734 --> 00:09:16,861 I guess that's up to you. 142 00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:19,629 Kiss that therapist goodbye. 143 00:09:20,006 --> 00:09:23,203 The only question now is, do I tell Richard Lewis? 144 00:09:26,779 --> 00:09:29,748 - Are you sure it was Dr. Weiss? - It was him, it was him. 145 00:09:29,816 --> 00:09:33,547 No question about it. It was Weiss, Dr. Weiss. 146 00:09:33,987 --> 00:09:35,716 Thong, up his ass. 147 00:09:37,257 --> 00:09:40,556 - Like Richard Simmons? - Richard Simmons has a thong up his ass? 148 00:09:40,627 --> 00:09:42,458 - Did you ever see him do that shit? - No. 149 00:09:42,528 --> 00:09:43,825 Holy shit. 150 00:09:45,198 --> 00:09:49,134 So, you know, I just wanted to tell you, you know, so l'm leaving... 151 00:09:49,202 --> 00:09:51,261 You know what, this is so unfair of you. 152 00:09:51,337 --> 00:09:53,635 I turn you on to this guy, he's a brilliant doctor. 153 00:09:53,706 --> 00:09:56,732 - I would've never told you. - You should be thanking me. 154 00:09:56,809 --> 00:10:00,074 Saving you from this hedonist giving you advice. 155 00:10:00,146 --> 00:10:01,875 Hedonist, he's a hedonist? 156 00:10:01,948 --> 00:10:03,381 - He's not a hedonist. - What is he? 157 00:10:03,449 --> 00:10:06,350 This is my 28th therapist since 1969. 158 00:10:06,419 --> 00:10:08,887 I don't want to go anymore, l don't want to break the record. 159 00:10:08,955 --> 00:10:12,288 The recap is very hard. Your recap is two, three months, isn't it? 160 00:10:12,358 --> 00:10:15,156 Two, three months? That's just the crib. 161 00:10:17,363 --> 00:10:20,355 I was born in Brooklyn, and I felt alienated... 162 00:10:20,433 --> 00:10:24,699 - and I became an alcoholic. - Okay, you don't have to do it right now. 163 00:10:25,805 --> 00:10:28,706 How am I gonna tell him l'm gonna leave now? 164 00:10:30,777 --> 00:10:32,802 Is it like a woman? Can you do it on the phone? 165 00:10:32,879 --> 00:10:34,278 You're not canceling cable. 166 00:10:34,347 --> 00:10:37,441 You have to go in. He's a human being. You got to say... 167 00:10:37,517 --> 00:10:41,954 Let's go out to lunch, let's talk about this, 'cause we need a game plan. 168 00:10:42,055 --> 00:10:45,149 There's no plan, you go in and quit. What are you gonna do? 169 00:10:45,224 --> 00:10:48,421 - Can't we have lunch and discuss this? - I can't. 170 00:10:49,796 --> 00:10:53,095 - Why not? - I've been auctioned off for some charity. 171 00:10:53,199 --> 00:10:55,394 What is this, Roots? What you mean, "auctioned off?" 172 00:10:55,468 --> 00:10:57,402 It's some celebrity auction. 173 00:10:57,470 --> 00:11:00,371 Somebody paid $4,000 to go have lunch with me. 174 00:11:00,440 --> 00:11:02,840 - Do you believe that? - You should be flattered. 175 00:11:02,909 --> 00:11:05,070 He wants to have lunch with Larry David. 176 00:11:05,144 --> 00:11:08,944 I feel a lot of pressure to be entertaining, you know? 177 00:11:09,082 --> 00:11:11,141 All right, enjoy your lunch. 178 00:11:18,224 --> 00:11:20,624 Mr. David! Mr. David, over here. 179 00:11:21,761 --> 00:11:23,991 - Hiya, John Tyler. - John Tyler? 180 00:11:26,032 --> 00:11:27,829 Like the president. 181 00:11:28,601 --> 00:11:30,193 President Tyler. 182 00:11:30,336 --> 00:11:33,169 - Yeah. - Should I call you Mr. President? 183 00:11:33,272 --> 00:11:35,706 This is great. Thank you for donating your time... 184 00:11:35,775 --> 00:11:37,242 for the auction and everything. 185 00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:39,437 "Tippecanoe and Tyler, too." 186 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:43,278 - You know what "Tippecanoe" was? - No. 187 00:11:43,483 --> 00:11:46,384 You don't know? If I was named after a president... 188 00:11:46,452 --> 00:11:48,079 l would know everything about him. 189 00:11:48,154 --> 00:11:50,622 I wasn't named after him, it's just a family name. 190 00:11:50,690 --> 00:11:55,183 - You never know. I'm related to King David. - Really? 191 00:11:55,194 --> 00:12:00,131 Yes, so, a president and a king... 192 00:12:01,134 --> 00:12:03,796 at the same table. Pretty big table. 193 00:12:05,238 --> 00:12:07,672 - It's a family name, really. - Big family? 194 00:12:07,740 --> 00:12:11,335 Yeah, five brothers and sisters, you know, lrish. 195 00:12:11,744 --> 00:12:14,508 You ever catch your parents having sex? 196 00:12:15,048 --> 00:12:17,539 - No. - Me either. 197 00:12:18,584 --> 00:12:22,918 You know they did, but you wonder when. 198 00:12:24,757 --> 00:12:26,315 So where you from? 199 00:12:26,392 --> 00:12:28,587 - Jersey, originally. - Yeah? 200 00:12:28,895 --> 00:12:31,056 You ever see Joe Piscopo's Jersey Guy? 201 00:12:31,130 --> 00:12:32,529 "I'm Jersey guy. 202 00:12:32,598 --> 00:12:35,465 "I'm from Jersey, l'm the Jersey guy." 203 00:12:35,535 --> 00:12:38,800 Yeah, people from Jersey didn't really find that guy funny. 204 00:12:43,342 --> 00:12:45,902 Ever play the salt and pepper shakers? 205 00:12:49,449 --> 00:12:51,110 What song is this? 206 00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:58,452 "Happy Birthday To You." 207 00:12:58,524 --> 00:13:00,219 Happy birthday 208 00:13:00,326 --> 00:13:05,286 Happy birthday, Mr. President John Tyler 209 00:13:06,265 --> 00:13:08,096 Happy birthday 210 00:13:11,337 --> 00:13:15,273 Anyway, everybody from Groat's Syndrome Association just... 211 00:13:16,075 --> 00:13:17,303 Thank you for your time... 212 00:13:17,376 --> 00:13:20,174 and for donating the lunch. We really appreciate it. 213 00:13:20,246 --> 00:13:22,771 Please, whatever you need, l'll donate anything you want. 214 00:13:22,849 --> 00:13:25,841 I'll donate it all. My time, my organs. 215 00:13:25,952 --> 00:13:28,750 What do you want, you want a kidney? I'll give it to you. 216 00:13:28,821 --> 00:13:30,152 What else do you need? 217 00:13:30,223 --> 00:13:33,784 I've got a terrific penis. I could donate a penis. 218 00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:37,458 I've got good spleen, excellent spleen. 219 00:13:38,030 --> 00:13:40,328 Mr. Spleen gets rid of dirt and grime 220 00:13:40,399 --> 00:13:41,957 And grease in just a minute 221 00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:44,127 Mr. Spleen will clean your whole house 222 00:13:44,203 --> 00:13:46,899 And everything that's in it, Mr. Spleen 223 00:13:47,073 --> 00:13:51,407 lf you change "Mr." to "Monsieur," say, "Monsieur Spleen"... 224 00:13:51,744 --> 00:13:53,644 then you'll think that the commercial was... 225 00:13:53,713 --> 00:13:56,045 Monsieur Clean, Monsieur Clean 226 00:13:59,552 --> 00:14:01,747 lt's a devastating illness... 227 00:14:02,054 --> 00:14:04,682 and we just appreciate everything you've done. 228 00:14:04,891 --> 00:14:06,984 I've never heard of it. What is it called? 229 00:14:07,059 --> 00:14:09,425 - Groat's syndrome. - And what does it do? 230 00:14:10,563 --> 00:14:12,758 It's a nervous system syndrome... 231 00:14:12,832 --> 00:14:15,926 that makes people extremely excited and nervous. 232 00:14:16,002 --> 00:14:17,799 - My niece has it. - Of course, Dick Groat. 233 00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:19,132 Named after Dick Groat... 234 00:14:19,205 --> 00:14:21,605 who used to play shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates. 235 00:14:21,674 --> 00:14:24,734 I know, 'cause he was a bald guy. And he didn't feel very well... 236 00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:27,973 'cause he was very excited all the time, is that it? 237 00:14:28,181 --> 00:14:32,174 No, the doctor that initially diagnosed it was named Groat. 238 00:14:32,652 --> 00:14:35,746 - You sure it wasn't Dick Groat? - Yeah, l'm pretty sure. 239 00:14:35,888 --> 00:14:39,415 Dr. Groat might be Dick Groat's father, for all we know. 240 00:14:39,959 --> 00:14:42,519 - No? - No, my niece has it, and... 241 00:14:44,797 --> 00:14:47,231 You might want to check into that. 242 00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:51,264 So, he's wearing this skimpy kind of Speedo bathing suit... 243 00:14:51,337 --> 00:14:53,669 his boys are hanging out all over the place. 244 00:14:53,739 --> 00:14:57,266 I'm not going back there. No way, I can't, would you? 245 00:14:57,810 --> 00:15:00,335 - To the beach? - No, to the therapist. 246 00:15:01,681 --> 00:15:04,741 Yours will be ready in just a few minutes, sir. 247 00:15:13,459 --> 00:15:17,088 - Mind if I start? - He said it'll just be a couple minutes. 248 00:15:23,536 --> 00:15:26,437 So, you don't want me to start, is that it? 249 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,409 It's a couple minutes. You don't mind, do you? 250 00:15:30,476 --> 00:15:32,944 I just think it's kind of weird. 251 00:15:33,012 --> 00:15:35,242 I mean, if you had your food come first... 252 00:15:35,314 --> 00:15:37,407 l would say, go ahead and start, what do I care? 253 00:15:37,483 --> 00:15:40,543 - I would wait for you to get yours. - I wouldn't want you to wait. 254 00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:42,110 I'd be uncomfortable if you waited. 255 00:15:42,188 --> 00:15:45,214 I'd feel it would be polite to wait for your food to arrive. 256 00:15:45,291 --> 00:15:47,418 I think it's kind of impolite to prevent a person... 257 00:15:47,493 --> 00:15:48,755 who is hungry from eating. 258 00:15:48,828 --> 00:15:50,693 Yeah, but we're supposed to be having lunch together. 259 00:15:50,763 --> 00:15:54,927 Do we have to start at the exact same time? I don't get that. 260 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:59,299 I don't see why you can't wait two seconds for your cold sandwich. It's not even hot. 261 00:15:59,372 --> 00:16:01,806 I don't see why you care if I take a bite of my food. 262 00:16:01,874 --> 00:16:04,809 - How does that bother you? - Because we're having lunch together. 263 00:16:04,877 --> 00:16:06,845 - So what? - The two of us. 264 00:16:16,055 --> 00:16:17,317 Thanks. 265 00:16:18,791 --> 00:16:20,759 Thanks for switching appointments with me. 266 00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:22,157 Yeah, no, problem. 267 00:16:22,228 --> 00:16:25,925 Larry, what happened with that lunch? What did you do? 268 00:16:26,632 --> 00:16:29,100 - I'm sorry, I just... - What did you do? 269 00:16:29,168 --> 00:16:32,831 I felt so much pressure from the fact that this guy had paid $4,000... 270 00:16:32,905 --> 00:16:36,363 and I tried too hard to be entertaining and affable. 271 00:16:36,642 --> 00:16:39,110 So, you told him that Groat's syndrome... 272 00:16:39,178 --> 00:16:42,477 was named after the shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates, Dick Groat? 273 00:16:42,548 --> 00:16:46,040 I didn't say that as a fact, l speculated, because... 274 00:16:46,118 --> 00:16:48,518 Yeah, 'cause Lou Gehrig had a disease named after him. 275 00:16:48,587 --> 00:16:51,522 And Dick Groat was a ball player. I thought it was a possibility. 276 00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:53,387 Didn't you read the literature I sent you? 277 00:16:53,459 --> 00:16:56,451 - That depresses me. - Then you shouldn't have agreed to do it. 278 00:16:56,529 --> 00:17:00,898 - I was just having lunch with the guy. - I know, but Larry, that's another thing. 279 00:17:00,966 --> 00:17:03,992 You start eating before he gets his food? 280 00:17:04,403 --> 00:17:07,702 What kind of... I mean, Groat's or no Groat's... 281 00:17:07,773 --> 00:17:10,105 l mean, where are your manners? 282 00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:13,877 I asked if he would mind. I was starving. 283 00:17:13,946 --> 00:17:15,937 - And what did he say? - He said he did mind. 284 00:17:16,015 --> 00:17:18,506 And you should've taken that as your cue to wait... 285 00:17:18,584 --> 00:17:21,212 till his food arrived, so that you could start eating. 286 00:17:21,287 --> 00:17:22,914 Meanwhile, the guy's insulted. 287 00:17:22,988 --> 00:17:24,979 I said, "Do you mind if I start?" He said, "Yes." 288 00:17:25,057 --> 00:17:27,753 What kind of person says yes to "Do you mind if I start?" 289 00:17:27,827 --> 00:17:29,624 Do you know anybody who would do that? 290 00:17:29,695 --> 00:17:31,686 He told me he was going to cancel the check... 291 00:17:31,764 --> 00:17:35,564 unless, you know... I was like, searching. 292 00:17:35,668 --> 00:17:38,603 I said, "ls there anything we can do to make it up to you?" 293 00:17:38,671 --> 00:17:40,161 He said, "Maybe if Larry would... 294 00:17:40,239 --> 00:17:42,469 "get more involved and show that he really cared... 295 00:17:42,541 --> 00:17:46,136 "about Groat's syndrome, maybe then l would agree to give the money." 296 00:17:46,212 --> 00:17:49,477 And I suggested, "lf Larry would agree to host... 297 00:17:49,548 --> 00:17:51,311 "the Groat's syndrome talent show... 298 00:17:51,384 --> 00:17:54,285 "maybe he could make it up to you that way." 299 00:17:54,353 --> 00:17:57,083 And he said he would agree to make his donation... 300 00:17:57,156 --> 00:18:00,057 if you would agree to host the talent show. 301 00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:03,685 Couldn't I just write the check? 302 00:18:04,764 --> 00:18:06,129 Larry, that's not the point. 303 00:18:06,198 --> 00:18:07,859 It's not just the giving money. 304 00:18:07,933 --> 00:18:11,425 It's getting involved, you know, in Groat's. 305 00:18:11,570 --> 00:18:14,539 It's being Groat's active. 306 00:18:15,241 --> 00:18:18,074 It's not a big deal, all you got to do is you show up... 307 00:18:18,144 --> 00:18:20,806 you say a few things, you make a couple of jokes... 308 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,475 and then you introduce the participants in the show. 309 00:18:24,550 --> 00:18:27,075 These are all people, by the way, with Groat's syndrome. 310 00:18:27,153 --> 00:18:29,713 These are all people who will demonstrate... 311 00:18:29,789 --> 00:18:32,485 that you can have a life with Groat's syndrome... 312 00:18:32,558 --> 00:18:35,584 and you can be active and talented and all of that. 313 00:18:35,661 --> 00:18:38,129 I don't understand how lunch could come... 314 00:18:38,197 --> 00:18:40,961 and it's right in front of you, and... 315 00:18:41,033 --> 00:18:44,332 lf you don't feel like you've done anything wrong... 316 00:18:44,403 --> 00:18:46,462 and you don't feel like you have to make it up to them... 317 00:18:46,539 --> 00:18:48,439 then fine, go your merry way. 318 00:18:48,507 --> 00:18:50,737 I don't want you to lose the check. 319 00:18:50,810 --> 00:18:54,143 This would go a long way to helping us secure that check... 320 00:18:54,213 --> 00:18:56,579 and I think also, do quite a bit... 321 00:18:56,649 --> 00:18:59,117 in raising some consciousness about Groat's. 322 00:18:59,185 --> 00:19:02,643 They still trust me now, they would want me to do that? 323 00:19:04,890 --> 00:19:08,348 Okay, all right. Good to talk to you. 324 00:19:08,427 --> 00:19:10,258 All right, thanks a lot. 325 00:19:10,329 --> 00:19:12,320 - You'll think about it? - I definitely will. 326 00:19:12,398 --> 00:19:14,059 - Feel good. - All right, you too. 327 00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:15,896 - Okay, I do. - Goodbye. 328 00:19:23,742 --> 00:19:25,004 Hello. 329 00:19:26,412 --> 00:19:27,501 Hello. 330 00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:32,777 I've got some... 331 00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:35,609 big news. 332 00:19:36,922 --> 00:19:38,913 And the news is that... 333 00:19:40,059 --> 00:19:42,186 l think l'm all better. 334 00:19:43,295 --> 00:19:45,695 - Really? - I'm feeling pretty good. 335 00:19:46,298 --> 00:19:48,926 Pretty, pretty, pretty... 336 00:19:49,001 --> 00:19:52,368 pretty, pretty good. 337 00:19:53,005 --> 00:19:55,667 - What happened? - I had an epiphany. 338 00:19:58,210 --> 00:20:01,304 And l'm just... My whole life is in perspective. 339 00:20:03,082 --> 00:20:04,549 I feel great. 340 00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:08,079 - What was your epiphany? - I'm ready to terminate. 341 00:20:08,153 --> 00:20:11,589 - I'm terminating. I think I can terminate. - That's wonderful, Larry. 342 00:20:11,657 --> 00:20:14,353 You know what I am? I'm the terminator. 343 00:20:15,194 --> 00:20:17,856 - I am the terminator. - Was it the beach? 344 00:20:17,930 --> 00:20:21,889 - Was it going to the beach that did it? - I didn't go to the beach. 345 00:20:23,736 --> 00:20:25,704 I went shopping with my wife, and... 346 00:20:25,771 --> 00:20:28,968 Which is even better, to go shopping with her. Imagine that. 347 00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:31,669 - No beach? - I didn't go to the beach, no. 348 00:20:31,777 --> 00:20:33,642 But here's the thing that I want to say. 349 00:20:33,712 --> 00:20:35,646 Once in a while, l'm sure l'll have a problem... 350 00:20:35,714 --> 00:20:38,547 that's gonna come up. I would love to be able to come back. 351 00:20:38,617 --> 00:20:43,179 You know, just intermittently, if I can, if you'll have me, I hope you will. 352 00:20:43,489 --> 00:20:46,652 Just to kind of have a little refresher course... 353 00:20:46,725 --> 00:20:48,693 just in case things start to go off again. 354 00:20:48,761 --> 00:20:52,288 So, now you feel all these things that were upsetting you... 355 00:20:52,364 --> 00:20:54,764 Yes, I don't need to come in regularly anymore. 356 00:20:54,833 --> 00:20:58,894 - All the problems, the Jason Alexander... - Jason Alexander, yeah, what? 357 00:20:59,004 --> 00:21:01,165 I go to his office for a meeting... 358 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,832 he wants me to go back for the next meeting. 359 00:21:02,908 --> 00:21:04,500 You see how agitated you are, Larry? 360 00:21:04,577 --> 00:21:07,273 I mean, that's a situation that I find rather annoying. 361 00:21:07,346 --> 00:21:09,143 Yeah, but that's okay, that's okay. 362 00:21:09,214 --> 00:21:11,512 No, I mean, 'cause you just got through saying... 363 00:21:11,584 --> 00:21:12,710 how great you feel. 364 00:21:12,785 --> 00:21:14,082 I do feel great. 365 00:21:14,153 --> 00:21:17,122 But, if you're gonna remind me of the holocaust... 366 00:21:17,189 --> 00:21:18,383 l'm not gonna feel so great. 367 00:21:18,457 --> 00:21:21,358 - Frankly, you seem... - I don't really think I need to come. 368 00:21:21,427 --> 00:21:24,624 - You seem agitated today. - Agitated? 369 00:21:24,730 --> 00:21:28,427 No, what you're seeing as agitation is actually ebullience. 370 00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:31,795 You've never seen me ebullient, so you don't even know what it is. 371 00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:34,498 "Who am l?" you're saying to yourself. 372 00:21:34,807 --> 00:21:37,970 Yes, that's exactly what l'm saying. Who are you? 373 00:21:38,243 --> 00:21:42,043 I don't even want to talk about it too much, lest I dissipate it. 374 00:21:42,114 --> 00:21:43,445 I mean... 375 00:21:44,817 --> 00:21:49,220 l see swings of emotion that disturb me a little bit, Larry. 376 00:21:49,288 --> 00:21:51,688 There's no swing. I'm a hammock. 377 00:21:51,757 --> 00:21:54,248 - A hammock is very placid. - A hammock? 378 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:58,126 Yeah, just gently flowing in the breeze, that's me. 379 00:21:58,397 --> 00:21:59,455 I must tell you, Larry... 380 00:21:59,531 --> 00:22:02,056 you don't seem to be gently flowing in the breeze. 381 00:22:02,134 --> 00:22:05,035 You've been in therapy for a while, l know you pretty well. 382 00:22:05,104 --> 00:22:08,767 I feel bad that you are such a good therapist... 383 00:22:08,841 --> 00:22:12,277 that you're kind of a victim of your own talents and skills... 384 00:22:12,344 --> 00:22:15,711 that you have to lose a patient because of the job that you did. 385 00:22:15,781 --> 00:22:17,908 It's unfortunate, l'm sorry. 386 00:22:18,183 --> 00:22:22,119 I just want to make sure that l'm losing you for the reason that you're saying. 387 00:22:22,187 --> 00:22:23,814 Yeah, of course you are. 388 00:22:23,889 --> 00:22:26,414 Because I know you were at the beach, Larry. 389 00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:28,525 I was not at the beach. 390 00:22:29,828 --> 00:22:32,558 So it had nothing to do with the thong? 391 00:22:42,741 --> 00:22:44,572 - So? - He's on to us. 392 00:22:44,643 --> 00:22:46,998 He knows about the whole thong thing. 393 00:22:47,093 --> 00:22:48,606 He knows about the thong thing. 394 00:22:48,681 --> 00:22:50,706 - He's on to us? - He's on to me. 395 00:22:50,783 --> 00:22:53,183 How did this happen? He's on to me now. 396 00:22:53,252 --> 00:22:55,015 - He'll be on to you. - How did this happen? 397 00:22:55,087 --> 00:22:56,111 Who told him? 398 00:22:56,188 --> 00:22:58,315 I had this lunch with that guy for the charity... 399 00:22:58,390 --> 00:22:59,618 and I told him about it. 400 00:22:59,692 --> 00:23:01,353 He must've told Rob, who told him. 401 00:23:01,427 --> 00:23:03,520 Why would Rob even... Christ. 402 00:23:03,696 --> 00:23:05,630 It must have come up somehow, l don't know. 403 00:23:05,698 --> 00:23:08,258 So what happened? Are you out of there? 404 00:23:08,333 --> 00:23:10,358 - I'm out, yeah. - How? 405 00:23:10,436 --> 00:23:13,462 I told him I was happy and I didn't need the therapy. 406 00:23:13,539 --> 00:23:15,939 - You told him what? - I told him I was happy. 407 00:23:16,008 --> 00:23:19,000 That's what l'm telling him. How can you steal my termination? 408 00:23:19,078 --> 00:23:21,171 I didn't. I didn't know you were gonna say that. 409 00:23:21,246 --> 00:23:24,010 - How else am I gonna leave a shrink? - How the fuck do I know? 410 00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:26,779 I'm miserable and l'm suicidal, l want to leave? 411 00:23:26,852 --> 00:23:28,342 So, what am I gonna do? 412 00:23:28,420 --> 00:23:30,411 Tell him you're a Scientologist or something. 413 00:23:30,489 --> 00:23:32,719 - I'm not. - Tell him you're into Scientology. 414 00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:34,884 It's easy for you to say, l'm a shrink person. 415 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,019 It doesn't matter, you need something to get out. 416 00:23:37,096 --> 00:23:39,724 - Tell him you went to Scientology. - I need a better excuse. 417 00:23:39,798 --> 00:23:41,993 Look, what is this? This is what? 418 00:23:42,067 --> 00:23:44,695 Is this the Beverly Center, this thing? 419 00:23:44,770 --> 00:23:48,001 This is so... Look at this, with the leather, the whole thing here. 420 00:23:48,073 --> 00:23:50,234 - No, that's unbelievable. - Yeah, okay. 421 00:23:50,309 --> 00:23:54,370 Listen, it's good to see you. Stay feeling good, I feel great too. 422 00:23:54,446 --> 00:23:56,380 What's the name of that book again... 423 00:23:56,448 --> 00:23:57,608 Battlestar Galactica? 424 00:23:57,683 --> 00:24:00,709 - I don't know, I just... - l'll look, l'll check that out. 425 00:24:00,786 --> 00:24:02,185 It's a movie too, isn't it? 426 00:24:02,254 --> 00:24:07,191 - I have no idea what you're talking about. - I'm very happy, l'm very happy for you. 427 00:24:07,559 --> 00:24:09,720 - How are you? - Good, how are you? 428 00:24:09,795 --> 00:24:12,263 I've never felt better in my entire life. 429 00:24:12,464 --> 00:24:17,367 Groat's, we're not as hyper as we seem 430 00:24:18,670 --> 00:24:23,607 Groat's, let's hold on to the dream 431 00:24:25,344 --> 00:24:26,709 Thank you. 432 00:24:30,182 --> 00:24:32,810 Yes, that was Beth Sweeney, ladies and gentlemen. 433 00:24:32,885 --> 00:24:35,410 Another round of applause for Beth Sweeney. 434 00:24:35,487 --> 00:24:37,318 Wasn't she wonderful? 435 00:24:37,723 --> 00:24:41,250 And she is living proof of the great work being done... 436 00:24:41,326 --> 00:24:44,762 by our team of scientists at the Groat's laboratories. 437 00:24:45,030 --> 00:24:47,191 And I have been assured that after they come up... 438 00:24:47,266 --> 00:24:50,497 with a cure for Groat's, they're gonna tackle baldness. 439 00:24:50,803 --> 00:24:54,170 I've been assured. So, watch out, bald people. 440 00:24:54,706 --> 00:24:58,608 Your day is coming. Don't give up hope, keep hope alive. 441 00:24:58,911 --> 00:25:01,539 You must keep hope alive, bald people. 442 00:25:02,414 --> 00:25:05,349 Okay, our next performer... 443 00:25:05,784 --> 00:25:09,481 is a young lady who comes to us from Fullerton, California. 444 00:25:09,888 --> 00:25:11,822 And she's a pianist. 445 00:25:12,658 --> 00:25:14,683 And I think you're going to enjoy her very much. 446 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:18,321 Please welcome Miss Melanie Tyler... 447 00:25:18,397 --> 00:25:20,991 ladies and gentlemen, Melanie Tyler. 448 00:26:00,205 --> 00:26:03,072 This is awful. You can't let her do this. 449 00:26:03,842 --> 00:26:07,243 - I don't know if we should pull her off. - I gotta get her off. 450 00:26:13,452 --> 00:26:15,852 - Time to stop. - No! 451 00:26:15,921 --> 00:26:18,116 - Come on, stop. - No!