1 00:00:35,347 --> 00:00:38,616 Okay, I'm ready. 2 00:00:38,650 --> 00:00:41,151 You promise you like your gift? 3 00:00:41,186 --> 00:00:44,221 The towel? It's absolutely terrible. 4 00:00:44,256 --> 00:00:45,956 Suit's on? 5 00:00:45,991 --> 00:00:47,625 - Yes, ma'am. - Your birthday suit. 6 00:00:47,659 --> 00:00:49,827 Only one I've got. 7 00:00:56,067 --> 00:00:58,903 I had to put the lingerie on top of my clothes. 8 00:00:58,937 --> 00:01:00,004 I see that. 9 00:01:00,038 --> 00:01:01,772 It wasn't a great moment for me. 10 00:01:01,806 --> 00:01:04,308 Tradition is tradition. 11 00:01:04,342 --> 00:01:06,076 Yeah. But I'm gonna go ahead 12 00:01:06,111 --> 00:01:08,279 and spare us both the seductive birthday dance 13 00:01:08,313 --> 00:01:11,015 - this year. - I'm sorry, baby, but it's my birthday, 14 00:01:11,049 --> 00:01:15,519 and I would really, really like to see the dance. 15 00:01:21,226 --> 00:01:23,260 Your funeral. 16 00:01:23,295 --> 00:01:25,095 Mm-hmm. 17 00:01:25,130 --> 00:01:26,497 - Ready? - Mm-hmm. 18 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,268 You like it, 19 00:01:31,303 --> 00:01:32,436 right? 20 00:01:32,470 --> 00:01:33,437 This is what you want. 21 00:01:33,471 --> 00:01:34,438 A little of that. 22 00:01:34,472 --> 00:01:36,140 A little of that, for you? 23 00:01:36,174 --> 00:01:38,208 I will gag 24 00:01:38,243 --> 00:01:39,143 you dead with that towel. 25 00:01:39,177 --> 00:01:40,844 Okay, okay. 26 00:01:40,879 --> 00:01:43,213 - I'm quiet. - Come on. 27 00:02:04,703 --> 00:02:07,471 You suck. 28 00:02:31,162 --> 00:02:32,363 Got a sec, boss? 29 00:02:32,397 --> 00:02:34,598 Yeah. What's up? 30 00:02:34,633 --> 00:02:38,869 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 31 00:02:38,903 --> 00:02:40,337 ♪ Happy birthday ♪ 32 00:02:40,372 --> 00:02:42,172 - Yeah... - ♪ To you ♪ 33 00:02:42,207 --> 00:02:44,341 ♪ Happy... ♪ 34 00:02:52,517 --> 00:02:55,119 - We love your show. - Huh? 35 00:02:55,153 --> 00:02:56,353 Do you want to dance? 36 00:02:56,388 --> 00:02:57,488 Uh-uh. No. But, um, 37 00:02:57,522 --> 00:02:58,689 you know, you go ahead. 38 00:03:03,261 --> 00:03:05,596 It's my birthday today. 39 00:03:07,365 --> 00:03:08,899 36 today. 40 00:03:08,933 --> 00:03:12,169 - You don't look 36. - Yeah, I do. 41 00:03:12,203 --> 00:03:14,838 ♪ Happy 36th birthday to you ♪ 42 00:03:14,873 --> 00:03:16,340 ♪ Happy 36th birthday to you ♪ 43 00:03:16,374 --> 00:03:18,108 ♪ I have triplets inside of me ♪ 44 00:03:18,143 --> 00:03:20,310 ♪ I am Shamu ♪ 45 00:03:23,982 --> 00:03:27,518 Hey, Big Three, do you three know 46 00:03:27,552 --> 00:03:29,953 how much I love your mother? I mean, do you even have 47 00:03:29,988 --> 00:03:32,790 - any idea? - Yeah, we do. Now shut up 48 00:03:32,824 --> 00:03:35,492 - and let your fat-ass wife go to sleep. - No. 49 00:03:35,527 --> 00:03:37,995 No, no, no. Birthday tradition is birthday tradition. 50 00:03:38,029 --> 00:03:40,197 So close your eyes in there, kids, because Daddy's about 51 00:03:40,231 --> 00:03:43,377 to do some real terrible things to Mommy. 52 00:04:12,497 --> 00:04:15,100 How could you possibly want me right now? 53 00:04:15,133 --> 00:04:18,235 In any state, my wife, you arouse me. 54 00:04:18,269 --> 00:04:20,738 I bet I can make that go away. 55 00:04:20,772 --> 00:04:24,341 - There's nothing you can say that's... - My water just broke. 56 00:04:25,543 --> 00:04:26,910 - Yep. - Yeah. 57 00:04:29,147 --> 00:04:32,816 ♪ My hands to myself ♪ 58 00:04:32,851 --> 00:04:34,651 ♪ Can't keep my hands... ♪ 59 00:04:34,686 --> 00:04:37,254 You know when I think it all went wrong for me was 1986, 60 00:04:37,288 --> 00:04:39,356 second grade. They were sending the Challenger up into space. 61 00:04:39,390 --> 00:04:40,624 You remember the Challenger, right? 62 00:04:40,658 --> 00:04:42,359 - Yeah. With Sandra Bullock? - No. 63 00:04:42,393 --> 00:04:44,461 Christa McAuliffe, right? She was gonna be 64 00:04:44,496 --> 00:04:45,829 the first teacher into space. 65 00:04:45,864 --> 00:04:47,865 She was actually gonna change the world. 66 00:04:47,899 --> 00:04:50,033 I don't know how, but you could feel that, you know? 67 00:04:50,068 --> 00:04:51,935 At least, in second grade, you could... you could feel it. 68 00:04:51,970 --> 00:04:53,203 Middle of the school day, 69 00:04:53,238 --> 00:04:54,972 the teacher brings in a TV, right? 70 00:04:55,006 --> 00:04:56,607 We're all just sitting there, watching the launch, 71 00:04:56,641 --> 00:04:59,676 a bunch of seven-year-olds just-just watchin'. 72 00:04:59,711 --> 00:05:01,378 And all of a sudden, boom! 73 00:05:01,412 --> 00:05:03,313 The whole thing explodes. 74 00:05:03,348 --> 00:05:05,482 Little pieces of sweet Christa McAuliffe 75 00:05:05,517 --> 00:05:07,718 come raining down all over the state of Florida. 76 00:05:07,752 --> 00:05:10,154 It was awful. 77 00:05:10,188 --> 00:05:12,990 Maybe that's when I realized trying to change the world 78 00:05:13,024 --> 00:05:15,325 just leads to being blown up 79 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:18,262 into little pieces all over Florida. 80 00:05:20,431 --> 00:05:23,901 Maybe that's how I wound up as the Man-ny. 81 00:05:28,606 --> 00:05:31,475 It's my sister. 82 00:05:31,509 --> 00:05:33,443 Kate? 83 00:05:36,181 --> 00:05:40,651 You... you didn't have any ice, so... 84 00:05:40,685 --> 00:05:43,387 Well, this is a low point. 85 00:05:50,061 --> 00:05:51,695 We're 36. 86 00:05:51,729 --> 00:05:53,530 We're officially late 30s. 87 00:05:53,565 --> 00:05:57,134 Like, we are deep in the threes. 88 00:05:57,168 --> 00:06:00,037 Yep. 89 00:06:01,506 --> 00:06:03,040 How did I get here? 90 00:06:03,074 --> 00:06:05,876 Like, how the hell did I get here? 91 00:06:05,910 --> 00:06:08,045 Remember second grade, the Challenger explosion? 92 00:06:08,079 --> 00:06:09,246 You have got to stop with the Challenger explosion. 93 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,781 There's something there. 94 00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:16,486 You're the only good thing in my life, Kev. 95 00:06:16,521 --> 00:06:19,456 - I'm not that great. Come on. - I know. 96 00:06:19,490 --> 00:06:21,091 That's what makes it worse. 97 00:06:22,994 --> 00:06:25,729 I had this... 98 00:06:25,763 --> 00:06:29,633 whole dream life that I envisioned for myself. 99 00:06:30,969 --> 00:06:33,070 A real career. 100 00:06:33,104 --> 00:06:35,572 I would marry a man like Dad. 101 00:06:35,607 --> 00:06:37,908 I would be a mom like Mom. 102 00:06:37,942 --> 00:06:40,444 But look at me, Kev. 103 00:06:42,513 --> 00:06:47,117 Like, I ate my dream life away. 104 00:06:47,151 --> 00:06:49,953 So what do you... what do you want me to say to you, huh? 105 00:06:49,988 --> 00:06:52,522 Wh-What... Give me the magic phrase, sis, to say 106 00:06:52,557 --> 00:06:54,424 to make you feel better and I'll say it. 107 00:06:54,459 --> 00:06:56,260 Tell me to quit feeling sorry for myself. I don't know. 108 00:06:56,294 --> 00:07:01,031 Tell me to wake the hell up. Tell me, tell me to lose the damn weight. 109 00:07:01,065 --> 00:07:03,233 Quit feeling sorry for yourself. 110 00:07:03,268 --> 00:07:06,603 All right? That can start right now. Wake the hell up. 111 00:07:07,939 --> 00:07:10,307 And-and, you know... 112 00:07:10,341 --> 00:07:12,809 the... What was the... what was the third thing? 113 00:07:12,844 --> 00:07:15,178 Lose the damn weight. 114 00:07:16,281 --> 00:07:18,615 You want to say that again? 115 00:07:19,784 --> 00:07:23,287 I'm gonna lose the damn weight. 116 00:07:28,493 --> 00:07:31,094 You are a lot smarter than you look. 117 00:07:32,430 --> 00:07:34,298 That's what Michael Bay told me. 118 00:07:41,673 --> 00:07:43,573 - Here you go. - Oh, yeah. 119 00:07:43,608 --> 00:07:46,476 Thank you. 120 00:07:46,511 --> 00:07:48,478 Hey, do you realize me and the kids 121 00:07:48,513 --> 00:07:50,914 - are gonna have the same birthday? - I know. 122 00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:52,282 Yeah. 123 00:07:52,317 --> 00:07:54,184 Still, six weeks early 124 00:07:54,218 --> 00:07:55,786 - is pretty early. - Yeah. 125 00:07:55,820 --> 00:07:57,754 I know. 126 00:08:06,898 --> 00:08:09,099 What the hell could this thing possibly be for? 127 00:08:09,134 --> 00:08:11,702 It's for rectal examinations. 128 00:08:11,736 --> 00:08:13,704 That one's from the dirty pile. 129 00:08:13,738 --> 00:08:15,306 Sorry. 130 00:08:15,340 --> 00:08:18,542 Now, then, I'm Dr. Katowski, 131 00:08:18,577 --> 00:08:22,713 but you can call me Doc or Dr. K, 132 00:08:22,747 --> 00:08:25,216 which is what most people choose to do 133 00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:27,418 - because it's folksy. - Oh, 134 00:08:27,452 --> 00:08:28,786 so you work with Dr. Schneider? 135 00:08:28,820 --> 00:08:31,622 Take a breath for me, dear. 136 00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:33,090 Deep breath, now. 137 00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:35,926 There you go. 138 00:08:35,961 --> 00:08:38,796 All right. You relaxed? Good, good, good. 139 00:08:38,830 --> 00:08:41,332 Dr. Schneider's appendix burst 140 00:08:41,366 --> 00:08:44,401 an hour ago. He just went into surgery. No, no, 141 00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:45,803 - no, no, no. Now, stay with me. - Oh, God. No, I need Dr. Schneider 142 00:08:45,837 --> 00:08:47,404 - 'cause he knows about... - Stay with me now. 143 00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:50,174 Between his screams of agony, Schneider 144 00:08:50,208 --> 00:08:53,444 brought me up to speed on everything concerning your case. 145 00:08:53,478 --> 00:08:56,547 I know all about these triplets, and I know that this 146 00:08:56,581 --> 00:08:58,582 - is a high-risk pregnancy. - Yeah. 147 00:08:58,617 --> 00:09:00,017 But everything's gonna be all right. 148 00:09:00,051 --> 00:09:01,919 This is some kind of bad joke, right? 149 00:09:01,953 --> 00:09:03,921 It is not, unfortunately. 150 00:09:03,955 --> 00:09:07,725 Now, sweetheart, I'm gonna get straight to your first concern. 151 00:09:07,759 --> 00:09:09,627 Look at me now. Look at me. 152 00:09:09,661 --> 00:09:13,063 - Do you see me? I am 73 years old. - Yeah. 153 00:09:13,098 --> 00:09:15,599 - You know what that means, don't you? - No. 154 00:09:15,634 --> 00:09:19,870 That means I don't run wind sprints as fast as I used to, 155 00:09:19,905 --> 00:09:23,774 but my faculties are otherwise completely intact. 156 00:09:23,808 --> 00:09:26,377 There are days that I wish they weren't, 157 00:09:26,411 --> 00:09:29,580 because then I would retire and spend my remaining days 158 00:09:29,614 --> 00:09:32,082 doing something more glamorous than pulling eight-pound objects 159 00:09:32,117 --> 00:09:33,651 out of women's vaginas. 160 00:09:33,685 --> 00:09:35,319 But until that time, 161 00:09:35,353 --> 00:09:37,555 I keep showing up here every day. 162 00:09:37,589 --> 00:09:39,623 All right? 163 00:09:39,658 --> 00:09:42,960 I'm also aware that I'm a complete stranger to you, 164 00:09:42,994 --> 00:09:45,596 and this is the biggest moment 165 00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:47,598 - of your life. - Yeah. 166 00:09:47,632 --> 00:09:51,101 - All right? Honey, listen to me, - Yeah. 167 00:09:51,136 --> 00:09:53,604 I am the best of the best. 168 00:09:53,638 --> 00:09:57,007 And I swear to you, on the lives of my children 169 00:09:57,042 --> 00:10:00,010 and my grandchildren, that I am up to the task. 170 00:10:00,045 --> 00:10:02,947 - All right? All right. - Okay. 171 00:10:02,981 --> 00:10:05,182 - Thank you. - All right. 172 00:10:05,216 --> 00:10:06,850 Good. 173 00:10:06,885 --> 00:10:09,019 Now, which one of you's pregnant? 174 00:10:11,022 --> 00:10:13,357 Now, that was a bad joke, but 175 00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:15,826 you just continue to take those deep breaths... 176 00:10:15,860 --> 00:10:17,995 Let's see... let me see if any of my people are here. 177 00:10:18,029 --> 00:10:20,431 Let me take a little test. Sheket bevakasha! 178 00:10:20,465 --> 00:10:23,467 Jew! Jew! 179 00:10:23,501 --> 00:10:24,635 Jew! 180 00:10:24,669 --> 00:10:27,171 All right, hey! Come on! 181 00:10:28,473 --> 00:10:30,441 And... action! 182 00:10:32,677 --> 00:10:34,979 Huh? Huh? 183 00:10:35,013 --> 00:10:37,381 What can I do to make you feel better, huh? 184 00:10:37,415 --> 00:10:38,983 You want me to breastfeed you? Would that make you feel better, 185 00:10:39,017 --> 00:10:39,984 if I breastfed ya? 186 00:10:41,353 --> 00:10:42,720 Yeah? Here we go. Let's try to... 187 00:10:51,529 --> 00:10:53,597 I'm-I'm sorry, guys. I need to cut. Uh... 188 00:10:53,632 --> 00:10:55,165 Sorry, everybody. A little technical difficulty. 189 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,901 Who wants a T-shirt? 190 00:10:57,936 --> 00:11:00,571 - Hey, man. - What's up? 191 00:11:00,605 --> 00:11:03,073 I'm sorry. You know, I'm trying to understand, for my character, 192 00:11:03,108 --> 00:11:06,076 you know, um, are-are we suggesting, you know, 193 00:11:06,111 --> 00:11:09,246 that the Man-ny thinks a grown man can breastfeed a baby? 194 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:12,349 Are we saying the Man-ny's got brain damage? 'Cause I could do a voice. 195 00:11:12,384 --> 00:11:14,660 Kevin, I know you care. I know you care about the character. 196 00:11:14,685 --> 00:11:16,018 I do care about the character. Thank you. 197 00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:18,255 I also know that you're a 30-something-year-old actor 198 00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:21,091 whose biggest previous role was a three-episode arc on Nashville. 199 00:11:21,126 --> 00:11:23,794 So say the line or find another job. 200 00:11:23,828 --> 00:11:26,430 Because trust me when I say that I'll have you replaced 201 00:11:26,464 --> 00:11:28,432 by Ryan Gosling, Ryan Phillippe, or Ryan Reynolds 202 00:11:28,466 --> 00:11:31,101 or any other handsome Ryan by the time you get to your car. 203 00:11:31,136 --> 00:11:34,238 And believe me, my ratings will go up. 204 00:11:35,907 --> 00:11:37,675 Ryan Gosling would never do this crap. 205 00:11:37,709 --> 00:11:39,043 You are right, Kevin. 206 00:11:39,077 --> 00:11:42,212 Ryan Gosling would never do this crap. 207 00:11:42,247 --> 00:11:44,181 Remember that. 208 00:11:48,153 --> 00:11:50,154 Come on, Annie! 209 00:11:50,188 --> 00:11:51,689 Go get the ball, hon! 210 00:11:51,723 --> 00:11:53,269 Hi, Daddy! 211 00:11:53,294 --> 00:11:55,595 Hi, sweetheart! There's the ball! 212 00:11:56,161 --> 00:11:58,062 You want to play soccer? 213 00:11:58,096 --> 00:12:00,898 - It... - How's she doing? 214 00:12:00,932 --> 00:12:03,901 Uh, I think she's saving it for the second half. 215 00:12:03,935 --> 00:12:05,569 How's about her? 216 00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:10,340 - Four boys crying and counting. - That's my little badass. 217 00:12:10,375 --> 00:12:12,710 - Switch? - Switch. 218 00:12:14,090 --> 00:12:17,614 - Is that a... Aw. - French braid. Yes. 219 00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:20,751 Over, under, back through, baby! 220 00:12:20,785 --> 00:12:23,220 - Hi, Mommy! - All right, well, she made a friend. 221 00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:27,157 I found him. 222 00:12:27,192 --> 00:12:28,792 My father. 223 00:12:28,827 --> 00:12:30,761 What? When? 224 00:12:30,795 --> 00:12:33,163 I, uh... I hired a guy. 225 00:12:33,198 --> 00:12:35,199 It cost about 1,500 bucks. 226 00:12:35,233 --> 00:12:37,835 Now, I paid for it on the Amex. You're gonna see it. 227 00:12:37,869 --> 00:12:39,412 It's the personal Amex, not the business Amex. 228 00:12:39,436 --> 00:12:40,639 - I don't care about the Amex. - I know, I know. 229 00:12:42,173 --> 00:12:43,340 So you're gonna... 230 00:12:43,374 --> 00:12:45,776 - No. - Why not? 231 00:12:45,810 --> 00:12:48,112 Because she was a crack addict who died during childbirth, 232 00:12:48,146 --> 00:12:50,314 and he was the guy who left me at a fire station, 233 00:12:50,348 --> 00:12:53,150 probably because he couldn't think of anything more cliché. 234 00:12:53,184 --> 00:12:54,952 So why'd you find him? 235 00:12:56,287 --> 00:12:58,889 I don't know, Beth. 236 00:12:58,923 --> 00:13:01,258 I really don't know. 237 00:13:05,997 --> 00:13:07,064 Oh! Go! 238 00:13:07,098 --> 00:13:08,165 Way to go, Tess! 239 00:13:08,199 --> 00:13:09,967 Sportsmanship, baby! 240 00:13:25,966 --> 00:13:27,667 Excuse me. 241 00:13:28,365 --> 00:13:30,232 Do you mind? 242 00:13:42,231 --> 00:13:44,599 ...and so, I said to myself, "Tanya, 243 00:13:44,642 --> 00:13:46,910 "you have done what you have set out to do. 244 00:13:46,944 --> 00:13:48,745 "You have lost the weight. 245 00:13:48,780 --> 00:13:53,483 And now you can help others be skinny like you." 246 00:13:56,521 --> 00:13:59,022 So, who would like to share first? 247 00:13:59,056 --> 00:14:01,525 Every time I'm going on a diet, 248 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:03,326 he sabotages me. 249 00:14:03,361 --> 00:14:05,762 Well, my husband found me eating out of the fridge 250 00:14:05,797 --> 00:14:08,432 in the middle of the night again the other night. 251 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:11,835 I'm trying. 252 00:14:11,869 --> 00:14:14,671 I'm not sabotaging you, Marsha. 253 00:14:14,705 --> 00:14:17,607 I know I don't have the same issues as everyone here. 254 00:14:17,642 --> 00:14:21,044 But you guys don't know what it's like looking like me 255 00:14:21,078 --> 00:14:23,413 and carrying around that extra seven pounds in your midsection. 256 00:14:30,221 --> 00:14:31,721 For me, 257 00:14:31,756 --> 00:14:33,824 it was my mom. 258 00:14:33,858 --> 00:14:35,459 She never let us eat pizza. 259 00:14:35,493 --> 00:14:39,396 And so now, every time I see a pizza, 260 00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:42,232 I mean, I have to eat the entire thing. 261 00:14:42,266 --> 00:14:44,401 If this doesn't work, I might just 262 00:14:44,435 --> 00:14:46,486 have my stomach stapled and just be done with... 263 00:14:51,476 --> 00:14:54,444 I am sor... I'm sorry. 264 00:14:56,147 --> 00:14:57,781 I was just... I was picturing the stapler. 265 00:14:57,815 --> 00:14:59,416 And it's... 266 00:14:59,450 --> 00:15:01,751 which is totally inappropriate. 267 00:15:01,786 --> 00:15:04,688 I apologize. 268 00:15:04,722 --> 00:15:06,156 I'm way fatter than you if it... 269 00:15:06,190 --> 00:15:07,424 means anything. 270 00:15:16,067 --> 00:15:18,835 Mmm, coffee. 271 00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:20,737 Hi. 272 00:15:22,173 --> 00:15:25,342 Boy, these people hate me. 273 00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:27,110 You kind of crossed the line. 274 00:15:27,144 --> 00:15:29,513 Yeah, you laughed. 275 00:15:29,547 --> 00:15:31,548 - That's because I live across the line. - Oh! 276 00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:33,884 Okay. 277 00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:35,151 Toby. 278 00:15:35,186 --> 00:15:36,520 Kate. 279 00:15:36,554 --> 00:15:37,787 Yeah. 280 00:15:37,822 --> 00:15:39,222 Nice to meet you. 281 00:15:39,257 --> 00:15:41,458 So, you want to be fat friends? 282 00:15:43,895 --> 00:15:45,662 Sure. 283 00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:47,764 - But I'm gonna lose the weight. - You know, 284 00:15:47,798 --> 00:15:50,433 I'm probably not. 285 00:15:50,468 --> 00:15:52,369 Okay. 286 00:15:57,642 --> 00:15:59,376 I can't fall for a fat person right now. 287 00:16:01,045 --> 00:16:02,913 Well... 288 00:16:02,947 --> 00:16:04,314 I guess I'll lose the weight then. 289 00:16:10,655 --> 00:16:12,489 Breathe, Bec. Breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe. 290 00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:14,424 Breathe. Breathe. 291 00:16:14,458 --> 00:16:15,859 Deep breath, Bec. 292 00:16:15,893 --> 00:16:17,193 Deep breath, deep breath. 293 00:16:17,228 --> 00:16:19,663 Deep breathe, look at me, deep breathe. 294 00:16:19,697 --> 00:16:21,031 There you go. 295 00:16:21,065 --> 00:16:22,532 There you go, almost done, almost done. 296 00:16:24,402 --> 00:16:27,537 There you go. Hey, there you go. 297 00:16:27,572 --> 00:16:30,540 Baby, I'm sorry for anything I'm gonna say in the next two hours. 298 00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:32,142 I mean none of it. 299 00:16:32,176 --> 00:16:34,544 - You're gonna mean some of it. - Very little of it. 300 00:16:34,579 --> 00:16:35,279 Fair enough. 301 00:16:35,304 --> 00:16:37,380 I'm almost glad Schneider's appendix burst. 302 00:16:37,415 --> 00:16:38,648 I like you two. 303 00:16:38,683 --> 00:16:43,019 Now since I'm new here, I thought we might have a conversation now 304 00:16:43,054 --> 00:16:45,121 before things get more intense. 305 00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:47,257 Yeah, that sounds nice. 306 00:16:47,291 --> 00:16:48,825 So, you said you have grandchildren? 307 00:16:48,859 --> 00:16:50,493 Not that kind of conversation. 308 00:16:50,528 --> 00:16:54,097 Now. I know that Dr. Schneider talked to you about the positioning of the babies, 309 00:16:54,131 --> 00:16:56,433 and how complicated this delivery could get. 310 00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:57,192 I thought we should... 311 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,169 I'm sorry, no, we're not gonna have this conversation. 312 00:16:59,203 --> 00:17:01,571 - Jack, we need to have this... - We're not having this conversation 313 00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,840 - because it's not gonna happen. - Well, we need to talk about... 314 00:17:03,874 --> 00:17:05,308 We are walking out of this hospital with 315 00:17:05,343 --> 00:17:07,277 three healthy babies and one healthy wife. 316 00:17:07,311 --> 00:17:08,845 - Absolutely, but we still... - I have three cribs 317 00:17:08,879 --> 00:17:12,282 at our new home that we bought specifically 318 00:17:12,316 --> 00:17:14,784 - for our three children to grow up in. - I understand. 319 00:17:14,819 --> 00:17:17,071 My-my mother, my mother has already knitted three onesies. 320 00:17:17,096 --> 00:17:17,821 I know. 321 00:17:17,855 --> 00:17:20,924 And she's a slow, no-talent knitter. 322 00:17:20,958 --> 00:17:24,694 It's also happens to be my birthday today, which tends to be 323 00:17:24,729 --> 00:17:27,163 a pretty great day in our house, a day when I get pretty lucky. 324 00:17:28,899 --> 00:17:31,034 So I'm gonna need everyone in this room to believe me 325 00:17:31,068 --> 00:17:35,138 when I say that only good things are gonna happen here today. 326 00:17:35,172 --> 00:17:36,673 Actually... 327 00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:39,776 I-I don't just want you to believe it. 328 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:42,545 I want you to know it. 329 00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:44,114 Do you know it, baby? 330 00:17:45,516 --> 00:17:47,651 I love you. 331 00:17:47,685 --> 00:17:49,386 Yeah, I know it. 332 00:17:49,420 --> 00:17:50,520 I know it. 333 00:17:51,856 --> 00:17:53,590 Do you know it, Doc? 334 00:17:56,694 --> 00:17:58,995 I know I like you. 335 00:18:01,132 --> 00:18:04,134 Let's just start there, get you what you want. 336 00:18:06,671 --> 00:18:07,837 Okay. 337 00:18:12,277 --> 00:18:14,044 Hey, clear my afternoon? 338 00:18:14,079 --> 00:18:16,406 But sir, what about...? 339 00:18:16,431 --> 00:18:17,205 Thanks. 340 00:18:33,964 --> 00:18:36,466 Yeah, yeah. 341 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:38,234 Stop all that banging, I heard you the first time, 342 00:18:38,269 --> 00:18:39,469 banging on the door. 343 00:18:39,503 --> 00:18:41,070 Who the hell is... 344 00:18:41,105 --> 00:18:43,907 My name is Randall Peasing. I'm your biological son. 345 00:18:43,941 --> 00:18:46,576 36 years ago you left me at the front door... 346 00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:48,812 No, hold on, just let me say this. 347 00:18:48,846 --> 00:18:52,515 36 years ago you left me at the front door of a fire station. 348 00:18:52,550 --> 00:18:53,750 Now, don't worry, I'm not here 349 00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:54,918 because I want anything from you. 350 00:18:54,952 --> 00:18:57,554 I was raised by two incredible parents, 351 00:18:57,588 --> 00:19:00,557 I have a lights out family of my own, and... 352 00:19:00,591 --> 00:19:03,059 that car you see parked out in front of your house? 353 00:19:03,093 --> 00:19:06,729 Cost $143,000 and I bought it for cash. 354 00:19:06,764 --> 00:19:09,732 I bought it for cash because I felt like it, 355 00:19:09,767 --> 00:19:11,835 and because I can do stuff like that. 356 00:19:11,869 --> 00:19:15,205 Yeah, you see, I turned out pretty all right. 357 00:19:15,239 --> 00:19:16,906 Which might surprise a lot of folks 358 00:19:16,941 --> 00:19:18,942 considering the fact that 36 years ago 359 00:19:18,976 --> 00:19:22,245 my life started with you leaving me on a fire station doorstep 360 00:19:22,279 --> 00:19:24,347 with nothing more than a ratty blanket 361 00:19:24,381 --> 00:19:26,683 and a crap-filled diaper. 362 00:19:26,717 --> 00:19:31,120 I came here today so I could look you in the eye, 363 00:19:31,155 --> 00:19:34,524 say that to you, and then get back in my fancy-ass car 364 00:19:34,558 --> 00:19:37,393 and finally prove to myself, and to you, 365 00:19:37,428 --> 00:19:38,728 and to my family who loves me, 366 00:19:38,762 --> 00:19:41,231 that I didn't need a thing from you, 367 00:19:41,265 --> 00:19:43,466 even after I knew who you were. 368 00:19:44,802 --> 00:19:48,137 - You want to come in? - Okay. 369 00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:00,565 So is there something you want to say to me? 370 00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:02,567 'Cause otherwise, I really need to get going. 371 00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:04,235 You want me to say something? 372 00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:06,037 No, I told you, I don't want anything from you. 373 00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:08,139 - But you're here. - Just to tell you that. 374 00:20:08,174 --> 00:20:10,041 Well... 375 00:20:10,075 --> 00:20:12,310 I've been told. 376 00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:15,380 You know what? If you're just gonna sit here making excuses... 377 00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:17,849 - Didn't make any excuses. - Because there's nothing you can say. 378 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,218 Didn't say anything for just that reason. 379 00:20:24,456 --> 00:20:28,526 Seems to me you want me to try to make amends so you can say, 380 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,029 - "Screw you," and storm out of here. - That's ridiculous. 381 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,398 Okay. 382 00:20:37,895 --> 00:20:41,498 I'd like to say I remember that day, but... 383 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:42,899 I barely do. 384 00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,503 I'm clean now, finally, but... 385 00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:48,838 I was on the streets then. 386 00:20:50,174 --> 00:20:52,909 I remember her dying, 387 00:20:52,943 --> 00:20:55,845 your mom, remember the baby. 388 00:20:58,516 --> 00:21:02,185 I'd like to say I remember leaving you at a fire station, 389 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,653 but I don't. 390 00:21:03,687 --> 00:21:05,255 Not an excuse. 391 00:21:05,289 --> 00:21:07,657 In fact, it probably tells you something about me 392 00:21:07,691 --> 00:21:10,393 that I don't remember. 393 00:21:13,364 --> 00:21:15,365 I do like fire stations, though, 394 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:17,367 so that sounds like something I'd do 395 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,702 if I had to do something, you know? 396 00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:25,341 Anyway, I don't know if that's what you're looking for, 397 00:21:25,376 --> 00:21:27,143 but either way, you can be sure 398 00:21:27,178 --> 00:21:28,812 this life of mine is punishment enough 399 00:21:28,846 --> 00:21:30,413 for the things I've done. 400 00:21:30,448 --> 00:21:33,016 - If you think I'm gonna forgive you... - I don't. 401 00:21:33,050 --> 00:21:34,651 No, you were right. I did just want 402 00:21:34,685 --> 00:21:36,085 to say, "Screw you," and storm out of here. 403 00:21:36,120 --> 00:21:39,122 - Well, go ahead. - Screw you. 404 00:21:39,156 --> 00:21:40,523 Yup. 405 00:21:48,632 --> 00:21:50,233 You want to meet your grandchildren? 406 00:21:52,369 --> 00:21:54,571 I'll get my coat. 407 00:21:55,906 --> 00:21:57,707 Hey, kid. 408 00:21:57,741 --> 00:21:59,709 Hey. Alan. 409 00:21:59,743 --> 00:22:01,211 All right. Hey, thanks for doing this, man. 410 00:22:01,245 --> 00:22:02,612 - Oh. - I really appreciate it. 411 00:22:02,646 --> 00:22:05,281 Oh, please. No thanks necessary. 412 00:22:05,316 --> 00:22:08,985 Trust me: they're paying me an absolute fortune. 413 00:22:09,019 --> 00:22:10,320 I'm sure. 414 00:22:10,354 --> 00:22:11,888 Great scene for you, by the way. 415 00:22:11,922 --> 00:22:13,056 - You know? - Yeah. 416 00:22:13,090 --> 00:22:15,058 Tell ya what, when the prick wants to, he can actually write. 417 00:22:15,092 --> 00:22:16,860 Yeah. Well, 418 00:22:16,894 --> 00:22:18,361 I'll see you out there on the playing field. 419 00:22:18,395 --> 00:22:19,963 - All right. - Break a leg, kid. 420 00:22:19,997 --> 00:22:21,297 Thank you, sir. 421 00:22:23,534 --> 00:22:24,901 Hey! 422 00:22:24,935 --> 00:22:27,670 Ladies and gentlemen, the great Alan Thicke! 423 00:22:27,705 --> 00:22:31,040 And... action. 424 00:22:31,075 --> 00:22:34,377 Oh, for God's sake, I'm just trying to lighten up the situation here. 425 00:22:34,411 --> 00:22:35,812 No, I get it. That's what you do, right? 426 00:22:35,846 --> 00:22:36,846 My lightweight dad. 427 00:22:36,881 --> 00:22:38,248 - Son... - Don't call me "son." 428 00:22:38,282 --> 00:22:40,250 Just go. Just do your thing, get out of here. 429 00:22:40,284 --> 00:22:42,852 - Come on, son... - I said don't call me "son." 430 00:22:42,887 --> 00:22:47,991 I-I look at that little girl, I would do anything for her. 431 00:22:48,025 --> 00:22:49,526 You understand? Y-You show me a train, 432 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,595 I'll jump in front of it for her, no question. 433 00:22:52,630 --> 00:22:54,597 And she's not even mine. 434 00:22:54,632 --> 00:22:57,367 I mean, you... you mosey in and out of my life 435 00:22:57,401 --> 00:22:59,469 the past 30 years like the way you have, I... 436 00:22:59,503 --> 00:23:01,538 I don't understand that and I'll never understand you, 437 00:23:01,572 --> 00:23:03,006 so just get the hell out of here. 438 00:23:04,742 --> 00:23:06,075 Just get out. 439 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:11,481 I want you to get out and this time, 440 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:13,182 I want you to stay the hell out of my life, okay? 441 00:23:15,052 --> 00:23:16,219 - Son... - Leave! 442 00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:25,261 And cut! 443 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:37,106 Thank you. 444 00:23:37,141 --> 00:23:39,342 All right, they must think we did it. 445 00:23:39,376 --> 00:23:40,476 - You did it. - Thank you. 446 00:23:40,511 --> 00:23:41,744 You were fa... you killed. 447 00:23:41,779 --> 00:23:43,112 - Thank you for being here. - Excellent. 448 00:23:43,147 --> 00:23:44,581 Hey, may I have the envelope, please? 449 00:23:44,615 --> 00:23:46,182 Oh, come on. 450 00:23:46,216 --> 00:23:47,517 There, what are you doing, come on, get in here. 451 00:23:47,551 --> 00:23:49,652 See, I told you, right? I told you! 452 00:23:49,687 --> 00:23:50,753 That's so good, Kevin. 453 00:23:50,788 --> 00:23:51,754 - Oh... - That felt good. 454 00:23:51,789 --> 00:23:52,855 Now all we need to do is just 455 00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:54,090 take a quick whack at the alt pass, huh? 456 00:23:54,124 --> 00:23:55,491 Oh, come on, we don't need an alt pass, 457 00:23:55,526 --> 00:23:56,492 what are you talking about? Why would you... 458 00:23:56,527 --> 00:23:57,527 wh-wh-what, for what? 459 00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:59,495 Kevin, come on, we talked about this. 460 00:23:59,530 --> 00:24:02,131 You know? I loved it... I-I wrote it, you know? 461 00:24:02,166 --> 00:24:05,768 But, um, we just got to, we got to get a lighter version. 462 00:24:05,803 --> 00:24:07,270 Come on. 463 00:24:07,304 --> 00:24:09,138 Let's get that alt. 464 00:24:09,173 --> 00:24:10,540 For me, okay? 465 00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,475 And, uh, lose the shirt. 466 00:24:12,509 --> 00:24:15,411 It's just better without the shirt. 467 00:24:20,184 --> 00:24:21,217 I hope you're hungry, 468 00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:22,518 'cause we got some pizza for you! 469 00:24:24,355 --> 00:24:27,090 Everybody loves pizza! 470 00:24:34,898 --> 00:24:37,100 All right, 471 00:24:49,046 --> 00:24:50,913 No, it's okay. No, no. Nobody be alarmed. 472 00:24:50,948 --> 00:24:52,482 Nobody be alarmed, this isn't a real baby. 473 00:24:52,516 --> 00:24:53,516 This baby can't feel a thing, 474 00:24:53,550 --> 00:24:55,418 because everything's fake! 475 00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:57,920 God forbid we have real emotion in this show. 476 00:24:57,955 --> 00:24:59,422 What do we got here? 477 00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:00,623 We got a real suitcase. 478 00:25:00,658 --> 00:25:02,291 Finally, we got something real. 479 00:25:02,326 --> 00:25:04,093 Oh, no, we don't! Look, 480 00:25:04,128 --> 00:25:06,162 there's nothing in the suitcase! 481 00:25:06,196 --> 00:25:08,297 Where the hell are you going, Alan Thicke?! 482 00:25:08,332 --> 00:25:10,500 And what the hell are you gonna wear, 483 00:25:10,534 --> 00:25:12,602 when you get there?! Huh? 484 00:25:12,636 --> 00:25:14,270 He's got no clothes in the suitcase! 485 00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:15,605 You know what it is, I'm starting to think 486 00:25:15,639 --> 00:25:17,807 about things now. It's actually... Casey, it's not your fault, brother. 487 00:25:17,841 --> 00:25:20,009 It's not the writer's fault this show is so bad. 488 00:25:20,044 --> 00:25:23,112 And it's so bad! 489 00:25:23,147 --> 00:25:24,947 It's not the network's fault for airing it! 490 00:25:24,982 --> 00:25:26,549 It's you guys! 491 00:25:26,583 --> 00:25:28,518 Why are you watching this stuff? 492 00:25:28,552 --> 00:25:31,854 It's your fault for demanding so little of us 493 00:25:31,889 --> 00:25:32,989 that we settle. 494 00:25:33,023 --> 00:25:34,991 I can't feel my face right now, 495 00:25:35,025 --> 00:25:36,292 but you know what? 496 00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:38,227 I knew exactly what this job was when I took it. 497 00:25:38,262 --> 00:25:40,263 Shame on me for taking the money! 498 00:25:40,297 --> 00:25:42,231 Shame on you for making me famous! 499 00:25:42,266 --> 00:25:44,033 Shame on all of us! 500 00:25:45,803 --> 00:25:47,136 That's enough. 501 00:25:47,171 --> 00:25:48,304 - Hey... - What are you...? 502 00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:50,773 I'm not gonna hit you, man. 503 00:25:50,808 --> 00:25:52,408 I'm not gonna hit you! 504 00:25:52,443 --> 00:25:54,677 What do you... you think I'm some kind of animal?! 505 00:25:54,712 --> 00:25:56,012 I'm just gonna go nuts?! 506 00:25:56,046 --> 00:25:57,146 Listen, 507 00:25:57,181 --> 00:25:59,916 Ryan Gosling may not do this crap, 508 00:25:59,950 --> 00:26:02,051 and neither will I. 509 00:26:04,154 --> 00:26:06,656 I quit... 510 00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:08,157 I quit. 511 00:26:10,794 --> 00:26:12,862 Great working with you, man. I'm a huge fan. 512 00:26:12,896 --> 00:26:15,665 Yeah, that was a lot of fun. 513 00:26:24,141 --> 00:26:26,809 All right, Rebecca, one more big push, now. 514 00:26:26,844 --> 00:26:28,144 There you go... 515 00:26:28,178 --> 00:26:30,179 - Keep pushing! - Come on, Bec. 516 00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:31,280 All right! 517 00:26:31,315 --> 00:26:32,281 All right. 518 00:26:32,316 --> 00:26:34,150 First male is out, 519 00:26:34,184 --> 00:26:35,184 and he is looking good! 520 00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:36,352 You hear that, baby? 521 00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:37,754 We got a boy! We got a boy! 522 00:26:37,788 --> 00:26:39,388 - We got a boy! - All right. 523 00:26:39,423 --> 00:26:40,723 Thank you, ma'am. 524 00:26:40,758 --> 00:26:41,724 Baby? 525 00:26:41,759 --> 00:26:42,825 Something's not right. 526 00:26:42,860 --> 00:26:43,826 There's something's not right. 527 00:26:43,861 --> 00:26:44,927 Doctor? 528 00:26:44,962 --> 00:26:46,596 Some oxygen for her, please? 529 00:26:46,630 --> 00:26:49,766 Rebecca? You've done real good, sweetheart, 530 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,734 but we need to let you get some rest right now 531 00:26:51,769 --> 00:26:53,269 and let's see if I can't take it from here, okay? 532 00:26:53,303 --> 00:26:54,337 I'm sorry, what's happening? 533 00:26:54,371 --> 00:26:55,338 I'm gonna have to go in 534 00:26:55,372 --> 00:26:56,806 for the other two, people, let's go. 535 00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,474 Your wife is in distress, Jack. 536 00:26:58,509 --> 00:27:00,476 Now, right now, you just need to trust me 537 00:27:00,511 --> 00:27:01,577 and get the hell out of my way. 538 00:27:01,612 --> 00:27:02,645 No, wait, but I'm... 539 00:27:02,679 --> 00:27:05,276 - Get him out of the room, now. - Stat. 540 00:27:08,376 --> 00:27:10,110 - Guys? - Daddy! 541 00:27:10,868 --> 00:27:13,154 Hey, babe, I need you to help Annie with her homework... 542 00:27:18,142 --> 00:27:19,643 Guys... 543 00:27:21,245 --> 00:27:23,680 ...this is your, uh... 544 00:27:24,196 --> 00:27:25,196 William. 545 00:27:25,231 --> 00:27:26,305 This is William. 546 00:27:26,618 --> 00:27:28,286 - Hi. - Hi. 547 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,287 William Hill. 548 00:27:29,321 --> 00:27:31,556 Hi. 549 00:27:31,590 --> 00:27:33,958 I'm Beth. I'm sorry. I'm Beth. 550 00:27:33,993 --> 00:27:35,626 - It's a pleasure meeting you, Beth. - Mm. 551 00:27:35,661 --> 00:27:37,628 You have a hole in your pants. 552 00:27:37,663 --> 00:27:38,663 Annie! 553 00:27:38,697 --> 00:27:40,298 Oh, that's okay. I actually do. 554 00:27:40,332 --> 00:27:42,633 Hey, isn't that what the kids do to be cool? 555 00:27:42,668 --> 00:27:43,735 They put holes in their pants, 556 00:27:43,769 --> 00:27:45,470 - right? - Not like that. 557 00:27:45,504 --> 00:27:49,145 Well, here I was, thought I was being cool. 558 00:27:49,170 --> 00:27:52,506 Wait, what if I do this? Yo, what's going... 559 00:27:52,540 --> 00:27:54,041 No. 560 00:27:54,075 --> 00:27:56,310 My, my, my, you must be Tess. 561 00:27:56,344 --> 00:27:59,780 - Yes. - I hear you play soccer... 562 00:27:59,814 --> 00:28:01,214 I should have called. 563 00:28:01,249 --> 00:28:02,616 I didn't know how to say it out loud. 564 00:28:02,650 --> 00:28:04,284 - So, you just... - I... 565 00:28:04,319 --> 00:28:05,952 I have no explanation, baby. 566 00:28:05,987 --> 00:28:08,322 Like, everything I want to say 567 00:28:08,356 --> 00:28:09,623 or do around this man, I do the opposite. 568 00:28:09,657 --> 00:28:11,692 It's like a bad sitcom. 569 00:28:11,726 --> 00:28:13,660 It's like an episode of The Man-ny 570 00:28:13,695 --> 00:28:15,796 or What's Happening! 571 00:28:17,832 --> 00:28:21,401 He left me at a fire station and I invited him into our home. 572 00:28:24,072 --> 00:28:26,540 Oh, my God, baby, you're cracking up. 573 00:28:27,542 --> 00:28:28,675 Daddy? 574 00:28:28,710 --> 00:28:29,910 What's happening? 575 00:28:29,944 --> 00:28:33,146 What's happening? 576 00:28:38,853 --> 00:28:41,254 - You're not serious. - I am. 577 00:28:41,289 --> 00:28:42,356 Wait, Sally Field? 578 00:28:42,390 --> 00:28:43,657 - Yeah. I have a thing - Mm. 579 00:28:43,691 --> 00:28:46,860 - for Sally Field. Sue me. - She's, like, 60. 580 00:28:46,894 --> 00:28:49,329 60 is the new sexy. You didn't know that? 581 00:28:49,364 --> 00:28:51,698 - Mm-mm. - Mm. And when she turns 70... 582 00:28:53,835 --> 00:28:55,302 Look out, 583 00:28:55,336 --> 00:28:57,003 Sally is gonna peak in her 70s. 584 00:28:57,038 --> 00:28:58,271 - Mm-hmm. - I promise you. 585 00:28:58,306 --> 00:28:59,773 - Yeah... - Can I interest you in dessert? 586 00:28:59,807 --> 00:29:02,209 - Oh, no thanks. - Yes! 587 00:29:02,243 --> 00:29:03,210 - No. - Yes. 588 00:29:03,244 --> 00:29:04,344 - No. - Yes. 589 00:29:04,379 --> 00:29:05,379 - No! - Yes. 590 00:29:05,413 --> 00:29:06,480 He was just asking 591 00:29:06,514 --> 00:29:07,681 if he could interest us in dessert. 592 00:29:07,715 --> 00:29:09,015 I am saying that he can. 593 00:29:09,050 --> 00:29:11,151 I am very interested in dessert. 594 00:29:11,185 --> 00:29:13,186 I am utterly fascinated by dessert. 595 00:29:13,221 --> 00:29:14,988 Dessert is my life's work. 596 00:29:15,022 --> 00:29:17,157 So... 597 00:29:17,191 --> 00:29:18,525 We will just have the check, please. 598 00:29:18,559 --> 00:29:20,460 - Thank you. - Thank you. 599 00:29:20,495 --> 00:29:22,162 I don't normally like risotto, 600 00:29:22,196 --> 00:29:25,031 but if you put it in a ball form, and-and deep fry it, 601 00:29:25,066 --> 00:29:26,366 I can eat, like, a thousand of them. 602 00:29:27,735 --> 00:29:30,337 I had a really nice time tonight, Toby. 603 00:29:30,371 --> 00:29:31,405 - Thank you. - Yeah. 604 00:29:31,439 --> 00:29:32,406 Wait, what? No, no, no. 605 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:33,707 What, that's it? 606 00:29:33,741 --> 00:29:35,242 What do you mean? 607 00:29:35,276 --> 00:29:38,979 I mean, you're not gonna invite me in for a... 608 00:29:39,013 --> 00:29:41,348 a nightcap or... 609 00:29:41,382 --> 00:29:42,349 a handy or something? 610 00:29:43,751 --> 00:29:45,552 - Cute. - I am. 611 00:29:45,586 --> 00:29:47,254 Thank you. 612 00:29:47,288 --> 00:29:50,557 I did have a really nice time tonight. 613 00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:01,601 Okay. You can come inside for a water. 614 00:30:01,636 --> 00:30:03,103 - All right. - A water. 615 00:30:03,137 --> 00:30:04,438 Uh-huh. 616 00:30:04,472 --> 00:30:05,672 We have already had our six ounces of wine. 617 00:30:05,706 --> 00:30:06,706 I know. 618 00:30:06,741 --> 00:30:08,708 150 calories per six ounce. 619 00:30:08,743 --> 00:30:10,243 - Ooh. - Yeah. 620 00:30:10,278 --> 00:30:12,012 You keep counting calories, 621 00:30:12,046 --> 00:30:13,847 and you're gonna really turn me on. 622 00:30:13,881 --> 00:30:14,881 - Yeah. - Hmm. 623 00:30:14,916 --> 00:30:16,183 You want to know how many, uh, 624 00:30:16,217 --> 00:30:18,285 calories are in a sausage? 625 00:30:19,487 --> 00:30:20,754 Is... but is it even legal? 626 00:30:20,788 --> 00:30:22,923 No. Not in this country. 627 00:30:25,126 --> 00:30:26,660 Do you want to fool around? 628 00:30:27,795 --> 00:30:28,962 I don't. 629 00:30:30,031 --> 00:30:31,498 - Ah. - Uh... 630 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,468 - Okay. - No, I... 631 00:30:34,502 --> 00:30:35,669 No, I-I do. 632 00:30:37,371 --> 00:30:39,005 It's just been a long time 633 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,674 since this has even been an option. 634 00:30:40,708 --> 00:30:43,810 Hey. I know, I know. 635 00:30:43,845 --> 00:30:45,345 Um, you don't. 636 00:30:46,447 --> 00:30:49,783 I am 36. 637 00:30:51,185 --> 00:30:54,087 And, um... 638 00:30:54,121 --> 00:30:55,322 this... 639 00:30:56,390 --> 00:30:59,693 ...is not a very pretty picture. 640 00:30:59,727 --> 00:31:00,927 It's okay. 641 00:31:00,962 --> 00:31:03,196 - No, it's... - Hey, it's okay. 642 00:31:05,032 --> 00:31:06,833 Hey! 643 00:31:06,868 --> 00:31:07,868 Kevin, what the hell? 644 00:31:07,902 --> 00:31:09,002 Why don't you answer your phone? 645 00:31:09,036 --> 00:31:09,903 Uh... 646 00:31:09,937 --> 00:31:11,605 - I was on a date. - Yeah, hi. 647 00:31:11,639 --> 00:31:13,740 Oh... 648 00:31:13,774 --> 00:31:15,909 This is... this is the funny fat guy from fat class? 649 00:31:15,943 --> 00:31:17,511 - Hi. - Uh, yeah, 650 00:31:17,545 --> 00:31:19,346 it's Toby, and it's a support group, but yeah. 651 00:31:19,380 --> 00:31:21,214 Holy... Wait, are you the Man-ny? 652 00:31:21,249 --> 00:31:23,283 Yes, I am, Toby. 653 00:31:23,317 --> 00:31:25,252 I... I was. 654 00:31:25,286 --> 00:31:26,386 - Wait, what? - You didn't check 655 00:31:26,420 --> 00:31:28,121 your phone, Twitter, Facebook, nothing? 656 00:31:28,155 --> 00:31:29,356 - Why? Wha...? - Well, you should. 657 00:31:29,390 --> 00:31:31,625 - Becau... - Okay, what is hap... 658 00:31:31,659 --> 00:31:33,159 - What is happening? - I want you to know 659 00:31:33,194 --> 00:31:34,728 you would've been proud of me, okay? 660 00:31:34,762 --> 00:31:37,564 I was the picture of artistic integrity. 661 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,668 Could we do one without your shirt on? 662 00:31:41,702 --> 00:31:44,304 Well, the big news in Hollywood today is, of course, 663 00:31:44,338 --> 00:31:46,840 the Man-ny's on-set meltdown. 664 00:31:46,874 --> 00:31:48,708 Think about this, I'm like, you know, 665 00:31:48,743 --> 00:31:50,510 it's actually not the writer's fault 666 00:31:50,545 --> 00:31:52,746 that this show is so awful. 667 00:31:54,715 --> 00:31:58,351 Wow. I actually kind of feel bad for Alan Thicke. 668 00:31:58,386 --> 00:32:00,020 Yeah. 669 00:32:07,528 --> 00:32:09,496 Rebecca's vitals are good. 670 00:32:09,530 --> 00:32:11,565 She's gonna be asleep for a little while, 671 00:32:11,599 --> 00:32:14,267 but she's doing fine. We're monitoring her closely. 672 00:32:14,302 --> 00:32:16,236 Okay. 673 00:32:17,905 --> 00:32:20,373 We lost the third baby, Jack. 674 00:32:20,408 --> 00:32:22,142 I'm-I'm very sorry. 675 00:32:23,277 --> 00:32:25,011 The, uh... 676 00:32:25,046 --> 00:32:28,848 second baby is a girl, very strong. 677 00:32:28,883 --> 00:32:31,117 The third baby was a little boy, 678 00:32:31,152 --> 00:32:34,654 but the, uh, umbilical cord was cutting off his oxygen. 679 00:32:34,689 --> 00:32:37,257 He was stillborn. Nothing anybody could've done. 680 00:32:41,896 --> 00:32:44,164 I'm sorry, I'm... I'm not processing anything. 681 00:32:44,198 --> 00:32:45,899 My wife? 682 00:32:45,933 --> 00:32:47,233 Is fine. 683 00:32:47,268 --> 00:32:50,170 And she'll be awake pretty soon. 684 00:32:50,204 --> 00:32:53,573 You have two beautiful, healthy children, Jack. 685 00:32:53,608 --> 00:32:56,576 Boy and a girl. 686 00:32:58,446 --> 00:33:01,247 But we did lose the third child. 687 00:33:13,394 --> 00:33:15,395 I need to be with my wife. 688 00:33:15,429 --> 00:33:16,596 And you will be. 689 00:33:16,631 --> 00:33:18,598 But she needs to sleep now. 690 00:33:18,633 --> 00:33:20,400 But soon. You just sit down. 691 00:33:20,434 --> 00:33:21,968 Sit. Sit. 692 00:33:27,108 --> 00:33:29,442 Okay if I keep you company a second? 693 00:33:30,678 --> 00:33:32,212 Yeah. 694 00:33:38,886 --> 00:33:41,321 Okay if I... 695 00:33:41,355 --> 00:33:44,858 try and say something meaningful? 696 00:33:44,892 --> 00:33:46,326 Yeah. 697 00:33:49,030 --> 00:33:51,531 I lost my wife last year. 698 00:33:51,565 --> 00:33:53,099 Cancer. 699 00:33:54,735 --> 00:33:57,337 That's the reason I still work so much at my age. 700 00:33:57,371 --> 00:34:00,707 Just... trying to pass the time. 701 00:34:03,444 --> 00:34:06,379 We were married 53 years. 702 00:34:08,949 --> 00:34:11,885 Five children, 11 grandkids. 703 00:34:14,322 --> 00:34:18,258 But we lost our very first child during the delivery. 704 00:34:20,394 --> 00:34:23,563 The reason I went into this field, truth be told... 705 00:34:25,466 --> 00:34:29,035 ...I have spent five decades delivering babies. 706 00:34:29,070 --> 00:34:31,337 More babies than I can count. 707 00:34:34,508 --> 00:34:37,777 But there is not a single day that goes by 708 00:34:37,812 --> 00:34:41,715 that I don't think of the child I lost. 709 00:34:41,749 --> 00:34:44,584 And I'm an old man now. 710 00:34:51,492 --> 00:34:55,195 I like to think that because of the child that I lost, 711 00:34:55,229 --> 00:34:57,731 because of the path that... 712 00:34:57,765 --> 00:35:00,166 that he sent me on, 713 00:35:00,201 --> 00:35:02,969 that I have saved countless other babies. 714 00:35:03,003 --> 00:35:04,537 Yeah. 715 00:35:08,342 --> 00:35:10,510 I like to think that maybe one day 716 00:35:10,544 --> 00:35:13,446 you'll be an old man like me... 717 00:35:16,684 --> 00:35:19,719 ...talking a younger man's ear off, explaining to him 718 00:35:19,754 --> 00:35:21,654 how you... 719 00:35:21,689 --> 00:35:26,826 took the sourest lemon that life has to offer... 720 00:35:26,861 --> 00:35:30,130 and turned it into something resembling lemonade. 721 00:35:32,066 --> 00:35:35,034 If you can do that, then you will still be... 722 00:35:35,069 --> 00:35:38,371 taking three babies home from this hospital. 723 00:35:38,405 --> 00:35:41,374 Just... 724 00:35:41,408 --> 00:35:43,977 maybe not the way you planned. 725 00:35:47,181 --> 00:35:50,683 I don't know if that was meaningful or senile, 726 00:35:50,718 --> 00:35:53,486 but I thought it ought to be said. 727 00:35:57,057 --> 00:36:00,360 Your wife'll still be asleep for a little while. 728 00:36:01,896 --> 00:36:04,230 Go see your babies. 729 00:36:05,866 --> 00:36:08,401 They're excited to meet their father. 730 00:36:11,605 --> 00:36:14,174 I think maybe they got a good one. 731 00:36:26,508 --> 00:36:29,274 Sorry. Just had to put the girls down. 732 00:36:31,141 --> 00:36:32,273 These people, they're your... 733 00:36:32,298 --> 00:36:33,765 My parents. 734 00:36:33,969 --> 00:36:35,970 Well, my adopted. 735 00:36:36,793 --> 00:36:38,594 They're my parents. 736 00:36:38,617 --> 00:36:40,484 You've been with them your whole life? 737 00:36:40,519 --> 00:36:42,453 From the start. 738 00:36:43,555 --> 00:36:45,156 A fireman found me. 739 00:36:45,190 --> 00:36:48,826 He took me to the hospital, and they were there. 740 00:36:48,860 --> 00:36:52,096 They said it felt meant to be. 741 00:36:52,130 --> 00:36:54,865 Just one of those lucky breaks, I guess. 742 00:36:55,968 --> 00:36:58,269 A fire station. 743 00:36:58,303 --> 00:37:01,038 Gee, what a thing to have done. 744 00:37:02,708 --> 00:37:04,842 - I should get going. - Maybe we could have you by 745 00:37:04,876 --> 00:37:06,510 - every once... - No, I don't think that's necessary. 746 00:37:06,545 --> 00:37:08,112 - It's no pressure. I just... - It's just that 747 00:37:08,146 --> 00:37:09,480 I'm... 748 00:37:09,999 --> 00:37:11,567 I'm dying, is all. 749 00:37:12,926 --> 00:37:14,426 You're sick? 750 00:37:14,451 --> 00:37:15,820 Dying, not sick. 751 00:37:16,135 --> 00:37:18,103 Sick was months ago. 752 00:37:18,247 --> 00:37:21,249 I'm toward the end, fortunately. 753 00:37:24,839 --> 00:37:27,074 Uh... I don't know what to say. 754 00:37:27,099 --> 00:37:28,499 No, there's nothing to be said. 755 00:37:30,135 --> 00:37:33,337 It was a kindness you've shown me, 756 00:37:33,372 --> 00:37:35,940 letting me meet them. 757 00:37:38,856 --> 00:37:42,191 Your dad must've been very proud of you. 758 00:38:06,610 --> 00:38:09,979 I cannot believe that I'm drinking these calories. 759 00:38:10,013 --> 00:38:12,715 Since I just torpedoed my career, 760 00:38:12,749 --> 00:38:14,150 I think you can afford an extra, 761 00:38:14,184 --> 00:38:15,684 you know, 100 calories or whatever. 762 00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:17,453 - 150. - It's 150. 763 00:38:21,291 --> 00:38:24,660 What if I'm not better than The Man-ny? 764 00:38:24,694 --> 00:38:28,564 What if I am exactly "Man-ny good"? 765 00:38:33,368 --> 00:38:35,702 I don't know what I'm gonna do. 766 00:38:38,742 --> 00:38:39,776 Broadway. 767 00:38:41,581 --> 00:38:42,901 Can't sing. 768 00:38:43,294 --> 00:38:44,804 Porn. 769 00:38:45,363 --> 00:38:46,663 Yeah, maybe. 770 00:38:48,648 --> 00:38:50,849 I'm gonna get some more of this red. 771 00:38:53,423 --> 00:38:54,657 I'm in so much trouble. 772 00:38:54,691 --> 00:38:56,659 I am screwed. 773 00:38:56,693 --> 00:38:59,028 Listen, okay, Kevin... 774 00:39:07,838 --> 00:39:10,239 Do you remember what Dad used to say? 775 00:39:10,273 --> 00:39:13,442 When something crappy would happen to us? 776 00:39:15,830 --> 00:39:21,868 Whenever we'd get down, whenever we felt like life wasn't going our way? 777 00:39:22,686 --> 00:39:24,019 Which one's yours? 778 00:39:24,054 --> 00:39:26,358 Um... those two. 779 00:39:26,469 --> 00:39:28,200 Congrats! Twins. 780 00:39:28,225 --> 00:39:30,259 Wow. 781 00:39:30,293 --> 00:39:32,495 How about you? Which one's yours? 782 00:39:32,529 --> 00:39:34,196 None of 'em, actually. 783 00:39:34,231 --> 00:39:36,499 Strangest damn thing. 784 00:39:36,533 --> 00:39:38,267 Someone left a newborn at my fire station. 785 00:39:38,301 --> 00:39:41,403 I didn't know what to do, so I brought him here. 786 00:39:49,779 --> 00:39:51,013 Smoke? 787 00:39:51,047 --> 00:39:52,948 No. Thank you. 788 00:40:00,371 --> 00:40:02,205 Life's strange. 789 00:40:02,325 --> 00:40:04,026 Congratulations. 790 00:40:04,060 --> 00:40:06,529 Thank you. 791 00:40:22,179 --> 00:40:24,380 Come on, Kev. 792 00:40:24,414 --> 00:40:25,915 You remember. 793 00:40:25,949 --> 00:40:27,183 What did he say? 794 00:40:27,217 --> 00:40:28,751 About the lemons? 795 00:40:28,785 --> 00:40:30,252 Hmm? 796 00:40:30,287 --> 00:40:31,520 "There's no lemon 797 00:40:31,555 --> 00:40:33,589 "...so sour... 798 00:40:33,623 --> 00:40:37,593 ...that you can't make something resembling lemonade." 799 00:41:24,207 --> 00:41:26,809 Good. Now that's out of the way.