﻿1
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["HOME COMPUTER" BY KRAFTWERK PLAYING]

2
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♪ I program my home computer ♪

3
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♪ Beam myself into the future. ♪

4
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ADULT SHELDON: <i>Power has
always been a deadly narcotic,</i>

5
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<i>and in 1989,</i>

6
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<i>RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL</i>

7
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<i>was my drug of choice.</i>

8
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:24,072
<i>With an Intel 8086</i>

9
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<i>running at eight megahertz</i>

10
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<i>and a five-and-a-quarter-inch
floppy drive,</i>

11
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<i>there was nothing</i>

12
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<i>I couldn't do.</i>

13
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<i>From adding snazzy graphics</i>

14
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<i>to my homework...</i>

15
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So snazzy.

16
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<i>To easily alphabetizing</i>

17
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<i>my list of enemies and their crimes.</i>

18
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- So easy.
- [DOOR SENSOR CHIMES]

19
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Sheldon, time to go.

20
00:00:46,823 --> 00:00:48,723
We really need to get one of these.

21
00:00:48,726 --> 00:00:50,932
What on earth do we need a computer for?

22
00:00:50,934 --> 00:00:52,901
Yeah, we got you and your big head.

23
00:00:52,903 --> 00:00:55,170
But we can get so much accomplished.

24
00:00:55,172 --> 00:00:56,638
I could use a spreadsheet program

25
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,101
to keep track of your expenses.

26
00:00:58,104 --> 00:00:59,812
I do that in the back of my checkbook.

27
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Yes, but does your checkbook
go "beep" when you open it?

28
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I don't think so.

29
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Plus, the computer

30
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can organize your recipes.

31
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But my recipes<i> are</i> organized.

32
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On index cards.

33
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Like a cave person.

34
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Cave Mom. I'm gonna call you that.

35
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[SIGHS] It doesn't matter, Sheldon.

36
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We can't afford a computer.

37
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Sure we can. It's only $998,

38
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and Dave says we can buy
it on easy monthly payments.

39
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That's true.

40
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Stay out of this, Dave.

41
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Come on.

42
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We got to get home.

43
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- But...
- Sheldon, I said no.

44
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I can make you a good deal

45
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on the floor model,

46
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Mrs. Cooper.

47
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Seriously, Dave, you're
getting on my nerves.

48
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It's not fair.

49
00:01:36,417 --> 00:01:38,213
You bought Missy a Ring Pop.

50
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For ten cents.

51
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- And I'm worth every penny.
- Let's go.

52
00:01:41,952 --> 00:01:43,340
Sorry, Dave.

53
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We're living paycheck to paycheck.

54
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Move!

55
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[DOOR SENSOR CHIMES]

56
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

57
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

58
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

59
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

60
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- <font color="#D81D1D">Synced and corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

61
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- Ah, RadioShack.
- Ah, RadioShack.

62
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Here it is, the Tandy
1000 SL computer system.

63
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Sheldon was going on and
on about that thing today.

64
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I've never seen one so easy to use.

65
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FEMALE VOICE: Greetings. Need
directions back to your planet?

66
00:02:21,049 --> 00:02:23,056
This technology is more
advanced than we thought.

67
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GEORGE JR.: You know that movie <i>E.T.?</i>

68
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,628
The kid who finds him,
his name is Elliott,

69
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which starts with an
"E" and ends with a "T."

70
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Coincidence?

71
00:02:30,366 --> 00:02:31,966
I don't think so.

72
00:02:31,968 --> 00:02:34,369
You're gonna live with
us forever, aren't you?

73
00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:36,980
So, Sheldon wants a computer?

74
00:02:36,983 --> 00:02:38,282
Ever since he could talk.

75
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But now more than ever.

76
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:41,184
Well, he should get a job after school.

77
00:02:41,187 --> 00:02:42,254
Save up and buy one.

78
00:02:42,257 --> 00:02:44,023
Get a job? He's nine.

79
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I mowed lawns when I was his age.

80
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Made pretty good money.

81
00:02:46,564 --> 00:02:48,682
You want Sheldon to mow lawns?

82
00:02:48,685 --> 00:02:50,752
He's so pale, five minutes in the sun,

83
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he'd burst into flames.

84
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I would pay to see that.

85
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Shut up, Georgie.

86
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I hope you told him

87
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we can't afford it.

88
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Of course.

89
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I could buy it for him,

90
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and then y'all could
pay me back when you can.

91
00:03:03,107 --> 00:03:05,007
Okay, Connie, now
you're just insulting me.

92
00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:07,001
Well, that was not my intention,

93
00:03:07,003 --> 00:03:08,670
but I'm glad to hear it.

94
00:03:08,672 --> 00:03:10,032
I can pay my own bills

95
00:03:10,035 --> 00:03:11,406
and take care of my family.

96
00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,775
There are expenses we could cut back on

97
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,443
so we could afford a computer.

98
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:17,196
You mean like the money
you give to church?

99
00:03:17,199 --> 00:03:19,347
No, I mean like the money you give

100
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to the Lone Star Beer company.

101
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[CHUCKLES] Good one, Mom.

102
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- Shut up.
- Shut up, pumpkin.

103
00:03:23,653 --> 00:03:24,886
We're not getting a computer.

104
00:03:24,888 --> 00:03:26,854
We don't need your money.

105
00:03:26,856 --> 00:03:28,856
Where are you going?

106
00:03:28,858 --> 00:03:31,316
To get a... glass of milk.

107
00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:33,027
He's lying. He's getting a beer.

108
00:03:33,030 --> 00:03:34,543
Shut up, Georgie.

109
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[REFRIGERATOR OPENS]

110
00:03:41,762 --> 00:03:43,571
Mom?

111
00:03:43,573 --> 00:03:46,140
Why are you still up?

112
00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:49,177
Madame Curie is on the roof,

113
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and she's not wearing her hat.

114
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You're just dreaming, baby.

115
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But she'll be cold without her hat.

116
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I'll give her mine. Now you go to sleep.

117
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Mm, thanks, Mom.

118
00:04:01,024 --> 00:04:02,924
You're the best.

119
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Oh, Lord.

120
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[SIGHS]

121
00:04:21,496 --> 00:04:24,178
I'm guessing we're not
having our once-a-week.

122
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:27,982
Sorry, I only have relations
with gentlemen I like.

123
00:04:27,984 --> 00:04:30,769
Oh, come on. You know how I feel

124
00:04:30,772 --> 00:04:32,746
about your mother
meddlin' in our finances.

125
00:04:32,749 --> 00:04:35,394
She wasn't meddlin',
she was offering to help.

126
00:04:35,397 --> 00:04:37,591
And that computer is not some silly toy.

127
00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:39,627
Sheldon could use it for his schoolwork,

128
00:04:39,629 --> 00:04:42,535
and I could use it to...
organize my recipes.

129
00:04:42,538 --> 00:04:44,605
You already got 'em organized
on those little cards.

130
00:04:44,608 --> 00:04:46,200
Yeah, like a cave person.

131
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:47,902
Well, it doesn't matter.

132
00:04:47,904 --> 00:04:50,204
We can't afford it, end of story.

133
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,590
Not exactly end of story.

134
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:53,926
What's that mean?

135
00:04:53,929 --> 00:04:56,177
I've been setting money aside
the last couple of years,

136
00:04:56,179 --> 00:04:57,945
and this might be a good use for it.

137
00:04:57,947 --> 00:05:00,113
Money from what?

138
00:05:00,116 --> 00:05:01,983
You know, here and there.

139
00:05:01,985 --> 00:05:04,384
Bookkeeping for the church,

140
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,920
some seamstress work,

141
00:05:05,922 --> 00:05:07,955
birthday money from my Aunt Zelda.

142
00:05:07,957 --> 00:05:09,991
And just how much of this
"here and there" money

143
00:05:09,993 --> 00:05:11,292
you got saved up?

144
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:12,988
Well, seeing as it's my money,

145
00:05:12,991 --> 00:05:14,662
I don't think that's
any of your business.

146
00:05:14,664 --> 00:05:16,330
[CHUCKLES]: None of my business?

147
00:05:16,332 --> 00:05:17,532
You see every nickel

148
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:19,534
I make, and you got secret money?

149
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:21,302
It's not secret. I just told you.

150
00:05:21,304 --> 00:05:22,996
Where you hiding it?

151
00:05:22,999 --> 00:05:25,700
[SIGHS] Well, now you're
headed into secret territory.

152
00:05:25,703 --> 00:05:27,770
Oh, okay.

153
00:05:27,773 --> 00:05:30,230
Just so I'm clear, my money's our money,

154
00:05:30,233 --> 00:05:31,723
but your money's your money.

155
00:05:31,726 --> 00:05:32,625
That's right.

156
00:05:32,628 --> 00:05:34,605
Oh, good to know.

157
00:05:35,885 --> 00:05:37,985
I'm glad we're not
having our once-a-week

158
00:05:37,987 --> 00:05:40,688
'cause I am not in the mood.

159
00:05:41,524 --> 00:05:42,957
Really?

160
00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:44,625
That's too bad.

161
00:05:44,627 --> 00:05:46,332
Why? Are you?

162
00:05:46,335 --> 00:05:47,768
No!

163
00:05:49,799 --> 00:05:52,133
That was uncalled for.

164
00:05:56,739 --> 00:05:59,974
♪ Love can make you weep... ♪

165
00:05:59,976 --> 00:06:02,512
I forgot to tell you,
a girl called for you.

166
00:06:02,515 --> 00:06:03,481
What girl?

167
00:06:03,484 --> 00:06:05,152
I don't know. A girl.

168
00:06:05,155 --> 00:06:06,387
Well, what'd she say?

169
00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:08,657
It's hard to remember.
This was months ago.

170
00:06:10,186 --> 00:06:12,120
Hey.

171
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,457
Two cases?

172
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:14,927
You've got to be kidding me.

173
00:06:14,930 --> 00:06:16,757
Don't worry, I didn't use your money.

174
00:06:16,759 --> 00:06:18,394
I used mine.

175
00:06:21,397 --> 00:06:22,463
♪ Something so strong... ♪

176
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,531
Finish your dinner

177
00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:24,637
and then pack a bag.

178
00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:25,973
We are going to Meemaw's.

179
00:06:25,976 --> 00:06:27,113
Why?

180
00:06:27,116 --> 00:06:30,308
Because your mom and dad
need a break from each other.

181
00:06:30,311 --> 00:06:31,777
For how long?

182
00:06:31,780 --> 00:06:33,713
I don't know. Just pack.

183
00:06:33,716 --> 00:06:35,675
Will I need earmuffs?

184
00:06:35,678 --> 00:06:37,211
Sure, if you want.

185
00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:40,168
Although my almanac does
predict mild temperatures.

186
00:06:40,171 --> 00:06:41,415
Then don't bring it.

187
00:06:41,417 --> 00:06:43,230
I'll just bring my almanac.

188
00:06:43,233 --> 00:06:44,852
You know what, I'll bring both.

189
00:06:44,854 --> 00:06:46,199
[EXHALES]

190
00:06:46,202 --> 00:06:47,808
Should I pack my toothbrush

191
00:06:47,811 --> 00:06:50,112
or use the one I keep at Meemaw's?

192
00:06:50,115 --> 00:06:51,559
I got this one.

193
00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:53,090
Nobody cares.

194
00:06:53,762 --> 00:06:55,414
I don't want to go to Meemaw's house.

195
00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:56,884
What if that girl calls back?

196
00:06:56,887 --> 00:06:58,598
Fine, then stay here with your father.

197
00:06:58,601 --> 00:07:01,269
Sheldon and Missy, we are
out of here in half an hour.

198
00:07:03,152 --> 00:07:05,949
Not a lot of time to pick a toothbrush.

199
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,833
[DOORBELL RINGS]

200
00:07:15,879 --> 00:07:17,078
Come on in.

201
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,980
Mom and Dad need a break.

202
00:07:18,982 --> 00:07:20,582
We don't know how long.

203
00:07:22,486 --> 00:07:23,818
What's he got in there?

204
00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:25,324
Everything.

205
00:07:29,292 --> 00:07:32,627
SPORTSCASTER: First and ten in the
closing minutes of the fourth quarter...

206
00:07:32,629 --> 00:07:35,163
I ain't never getting married.

207
00:07:35,165 --> 00:07:37,500
- That so?
- Yeah.

208
00:07:37,503 --> 00:07:39,834
- Women are nothing but trouble.
- [PHONE RINGING]

209
00:07:39,836 --> 00:07:41,403
I'll get it!

210
00:07:42,272 --> 00:07:45,006
Hello, Georgie speaking.

211
00:07:45,008 --> 00:07:47,575
Did you run to the
phone? Do you feel stupid?

212
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,413
Who was it?

213
00:07:51,415 --> 00:07:53,214
Nobody.

214
00:07:53,216 --> 00:07:54,849
This little tiff

215
00:07:54,851 --> 00:07:56,451
between your mom and me will blow over.

216
00:07:56,453 --> 00:07:58,019
Don't make a big deal of it.

217
00:07:58,021 --> 00:07:59,120
I'm not. I'm just saying

218
00:07:59,122 --> 00:08:00,955
I'm better suited to the single life.

219
00:08:00,957 --> 00:08:02,757
And how do you picture that?

220
00:08:02,759 --> 00:08:04,893
Okay, well, you know the
buffet at Golden Corral,

221
00:08:04,895 --> 00:08:06,168
where there's all kinds of choices

222
00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:07,821
and you can have as much as you want?

223
00:08:07,824 --> 00:08:08,816
Yeah.

224
00:08:08,819 --> 00:08:12,333
It'll be like that, only with hot girls.

225
00:08:12,335 --> 00:08:14,269
Georgie, I'll bet you a thousand dollars

226
00:08:14,271 --> 00:08:16,071
you're married before you're 25.

227
00:08:16,073 --> 00:08:18,273
You got a bet.

228
00:08:18,275 --> 00:08:19,708
I feel like

229
00:08:19,710 --> 00:08:22,210
I'm stealing your money.

230
00:08:22,212 --> 00:08:26,181
ADULT SHELDON: <i>Georgie
married his first wife at 19.</i>

231
00:08:26,183 --> 00:08:29,484
<i>He never paid my father.</i>

232
00:08:29,486 --> 00:08:33,086
Well, I got to tell you how happy I am

233
00:08:33,089 --> 00:08:35,724
that y'all are spending
the night with me.

234
00:08:35,726 --> 00:08:38,085
Your house smells like cigarettes.

235
00:08:38,088 --> 00:08:39,188
So happy.

236
00:08:39,191 --> 00:08:40,925
Sheldon, we've talked about this.

237
00:08:40,928 --> 00:08:43,133
You don't need to announce
to people how things smell.

238
00:08:43,136 --> 00:08:44,199
Hmm.

239
00:08:44,201 --> 00:08:45,567
All right, you two, settle in.

240
00:08:45,569 --> 00:08:48,094
Are you and Dad gonna get a divorce?

241
00:08:48,097 --> 00:08:49,471
Of course not.

242
00:08:49,473 --> 00:08:51,239
Are you sure? Packing up your kids

243
00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:53,208
in the middle of the night
and moving in with your mom

244
00:08:53,210 --> 00:08:55,577
has all the earmarks of a divorce.

245
00:08:55,579 --> 00:08:57,407
We're not getting a divorce.

246
00:08:57,410 --> 00:08:58,913
Okay, go to sleep.

247
00:08:58,915 --> 00:09:00,648
Sweet dreams.

248
00:09:08,191 --> 00:09:11,893
I can't believe Mom and
Dad had a fight over beer.

249
00:09:11,895 --> 00:09:14,433
I don't think the fight was about beer.

250
00:09:14,436 --> 00:09:16,235
I think there was more subtext.

251
00:09:16,238 --> 00:09:18,166
You're probably right.

252
00:09:18,168 --> 00:09:21,511
Then again, I don't
know what subtext is.

253
00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:26,441
I don't want to get in your business,

254
00:09:26,443 --> 00:09:28,227
but since you're getting in my bed,

255
00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:30,445
- I'm getting in your business.
- Go ahead.

256
00:09:30,447 --> 00:09:32,413
When you leaving?

257
00:09:32,415 --> 00:09:34,215
Very funny.

258
00:09:34,217 --> 00:09:35,817
That wasn't a joke.

259
00:09:35,819 --> 00:09:37,719
I love you, and I love the kids,

260
00:09:37,721 --> 00:09:39,946
but I love you better
living across the street.

261
00:09:39,949 --> 00:09:43,107
Sorry the end of my marriage
is inconveniencing you.

262
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:44,543
Oh, don't be so dramatic.

263
00:09:44,546 --> 00:09:45,711
It's a little spat.

264
00:09:45,714 --> 00:09:47,977
No, this was a long time coming.

265
00:09:47,980 --> 00:09:50,956
This goes to the very
core of our relationship.

266
00:09:50,959 --> 00:09:52,959
I see we're sticking with dramatic.

267
00:09:52,962 --> 00:09:55,563
The minute he found out
I had money set aside,

268
00:09:55,566 --> 00:09:57,305
he felt threatened. And you know why?

269
00:09:57,307 --> 00:09:59,741
'Cause it meant that I can
live independent of him.

270
00:09:59,743 --> 00:10:01,672
Sleeping in your mommy's bed?

271
00:10:01,675 --> 00:10:03,344
You know what I mean.

272
00:10:05,248 --> 00:10:07,315
You gonna buy Sheldon that computer?

273
00:10:07,317 --> 00:10:09,484
Well, now I have to.

274
00:10:09,486 --> 00:10:11,167
Got it.

275
00:10:20,183 --> 00:10:23,431
You do know I still
have an active love life.

276
00:10:23,433 --> 00:10:25,200
Just go to sleep.

277
00:10:30,614 --> 00:10:32,180
On this very bed.

278
00:10:32,183 --> 00:10:34,359
Oh, Mom.

279
00:10:39,649 --> 00:10:41,316
What's for breakfast?

280
00:10:41,318 --> 00:10:42,951
I don't know. Grab a bowl of cereal.

281
00:10:42,953 --> 00:10:44,953
Mom usually makes us eggs and toast

282
00:10:44,955 --> 00:10:46,461
and the occasional meat.

283
00:10:46,464 --> 00:10:47,930
Well, Mom isn't here, is she?

284
00:10:47,933 --> 00:10:51,726
Whoa. Somebody woke up on
the wrong side of the bed.

285
00:10:51,728 --> 00:10:54,132
And you had a choice 'cause
you had the whole bed.

286
00:10:54,135 --> 00:10:55,266
Georgie.

287
00:10:55,269 --> 00:10:56,957
Walking on thin ice.

288
00:10:56,960 --> 00:11:00,468
Maybe you should go across
the street and apologize.

289
00:11:00,470 --> 00:11:02,036
I can't do that.

290
00:11:02,038 --> 00:11:03,338
Why not?

291
00:11:03,340 --> 00:11:05,707
'Cause if I do, it sets a bad precedent.

292
00:11:05,709 --> 00:11:07,692
What's Nixon got to do with it?

293
00:11:07,695 --> 00:11:08,727
What?

294
00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:11,546
You said "bad president," like Nixon.

295
00:11:11,548 --> 00:11:13,339
You know, this guy.

296
00:11:17,254 --> 00:11:19,053
You going to apologize?

297
00:11:20,290 --> 00:11:21,644
Dad!

298
00:11:21,791 --> 00:11:23,471
Dad!

299
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,674
If you are, bring back meat!

300
00:11:32,312 --> 00:11:33,645
GEORGE JR.: Hey.

301
00:11:33,647 --> 00:11:35,647
I hope you're happy.

302
00:11:35,649 --> 00:11:38,226
Thank you, Georgie. That's very kind.

303
00:11:38,229 --> 00:11:39,984
Mom and Dad are
fighting because you want

304
00:11:39,986 --> 00:11:41,453
to get a stupid computer.

305
00:11:41,455 --> 00:11:43,515
What are you talking about?

306
00:11:43,518 --> 00:11:44,625
Mom wanted to buy it for you,

307
00:11:44,627 --> 00:11:45,924
Dad said they couldn't afford it,

308
00:11:45,926 --> 00:11:47,233
Meemaw offered to pay for it,

309
00:11:47,236 --> 00:11:49,246
and now I'm eating
pineapple spears for lunch.

310
00:11:49,249 --> 00:11:51,329
I hate making my own lunch.

311
00:11:51,331 --> 00:11:53,164
I'm sorry, Georgie, I didn't know.

312
00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:54,699
Yeah, well, now you do.

313
00:11:54,701 --> 00:11:55,934
What did you get?

314
00:11:55,936 --> 00:11:58,496
A turkey sandwich Mom cut
in the shape of a heart,

315
00:11:58,499 --> 00:12:00,015
a fruit cup, a brownie,

316
00:12:00,018 --> 00:12:03,319
and a note from Meemaw
saying how much she loves me.

317
00:12:03,322 --> 00:12:05,944
I haven't read it yet,
but I bet it's a lot.

318
00:12:05,946 --> 00:12:07,819
I don't even have a can opener.

319
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:13,585
Oh, Sugar Apple, I love you so much.

320
00:12:13,587 --> 00:12:16,569
Your affection for inanimate
objects frightens me.

321
00:12:16,572 --> 00:12:18,305
I'm glad you're happy, Missy.

322
00:12:18,308 --> 00:12:21,663
I'm even happier that I got a
toy, and Sheldon got nothin'.

323
00:12:21,666 --> 00:12:23,399
MARY: Well, now, we're not exactly

324
00:12:23,402 --> 00:12:24,695
done shopping.

325
00:12:24,698 --> 00:12:27,340
Sheldon, you still want that computer?

326
00:12:27,343 --> 00:12:29,309
I thought we couldn't afford it.

327
00:12:29,312 --> 00:12:30,788
Don't you worry about that.

328
00:12:30,791 --> 00:12:32,504
Do you want it or not?

329
00:12:32,506 --> 00:12:34,116
More than anything.

330
00:12:34,119 --> 00:12:36,707
All right, then, let's go get it.

331
00:12:36,710 --> 00:12:40,478
Wait. He gets a computer
and I get a lousy toy?

332
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,146
I thought you liked it.

333
00:12:42,148 --> 00:12:44,482
Not anymore.

334
00:12:44,492 --> 00:12:46,358
[SIGHS]

335
00:12:48,655 --> 00:12:50,555
Where's the water come out of?

336
00:12:50,557 --> 00:12:53,291
Well, seeing as that's
the dryer, nowhere.

337
00:12:53,293 --> 00:12:54,659
Hmm.

338
00:12:55,624 --> 00:12:57,265
So this one's the washer?

339
00:12:57,268 --> 00:12:58,529
No foolin' you.

340
00:12:58,532 --> 00:13:00,098
What are you doing?

341
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,304
Separating the whites from the colors.

342
00:13:02,307 --> 00:13:03,967
Whoa, that's racist.

343
00:13:03,970 --> 00:13:06,905
How did I get a rocket
scientist for one son

344
00:13:06,907 --> 00:13:09,371
- and a rodeo clown for the other?
- Oh, man.

345
00:13:09,374 --> 00:13:11,876
I'd give anything to be a rodeo clown.

346
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,637
They make people happy,

347
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,780
and they see the rodeo for free.

348
00:13:17,117 --> 00:13:18,968
[SNIFFS] Mmm.

349
00:13:21,221 --> 00:13:24,088
["HOME COMPUTER" BY KRAFTWERK PLAYING]

350
00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:27,155
ADULT SHELDON: <i>The home
computer I had long coveted</i>

351
00:13:27,158 --> 00:13:29,929
<i>was finally in my possession,</i>

352
00:13:29,932 --> 00:13:33,266
<i>but it was also destroying my home.</i>

353
00:13:33,269 --> 00:13:35,699
<i>Thankfully, it came pre-loaded</i>

354
00:13:35,702 --> 00:13:38,436
<i>with a program to help
solve personal problems.</i>

355
00:13:38,438 --> 00:13:41,372
FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Hello, I am Eliza.

356
00:13:41,374 --> 00:13:44,601
My... parents...

357
00:13:44,604 --> 00:13:48,306
are... fighting...

358
00:13:48,309 --> 00:13:50,910
a lot.

359
00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:53,780
I see. Can you elaborate on that?

360
00:13:53,783 --> 00:13:56,187
My mother...

361
00:13:56,189 --> 00:13:59,601
bought... me...

362
00:13:59,604 --> 00:14:01,741
this...

363
00:14:01,744 --> 00:14:04,015
computer...

364
00:14:05,398 --> 00:14:06,788
but...

365
00:14:06,791 --> 00:14:11,935
my dad... says... we can't...

366
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:14,839
afford it.

367
00:14:14,841 --> 00:14:18,109
Do you have issues with your mother?

368
00:14:18,111 --> 00:14:20,778
Mmm... [TYPING] No.

369
00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:24,115
She... makes me...

370
00:14:24,117 --> 00:14:26,460
spaghetti...

371
00:14:26,463 --> 00:14:29,132
with hot dogs...

372
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:31,455
cut up in it.

373
00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:34,225
Can you elaborate on that?

374
00:14:34,227 --> 00:14:35,693
[SIGHS]

375
00:14:35,695 --> 00:14:37,515
Are you...

376
00:14:37,518 --> 00:14:39,866
going to help me or not?

377
00:14:42,736 --> 00:14:45,937
Hello, I am Eliza.

378
00:14:45,939 --> 00:14:48,554
The future might be overrated.

379
00:14:51,177 --> 00:14:52,744
Okay, water's definitely on.

380
00:14:52,746 --> 00:14:53,711
Try it now.

381
00:14:53,713 --> 00:14:55,319
We want delicate or regular?

382
00:14:55,322 --> 00:14:57,949
[GRUNTS] It doesn't
matter, just turn it on.

383
00:14:57,951 --> 00:15:00,663
Let's go with delicate to be safe.

384
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:01,832
[DIAL SPINNING]

385
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,888
[SIGHS] Nothin'.

386
00:15:03,890 --> 00:15:05,089
Damn it.

387
00:15:05,091 --> 00:15:06,958
Wait, I know what to do.

388
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:07,992
What?

389
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,294
Go across the street
and apologize to Mom.

390
00:15:10,296 --> 00:15:12,733
I got nothin' to apologize for.

391
00:15:12,736 --> 00:15:14,991
You don't have to mean it. I never do.

392
00:15:14,994 --> 00:15:16,434
Georgie, just mind your business.

393
00:15:16,436 --> 00:15:17,804
Okay, sorry.

394
00:15:17,807 --> 00:15:19,480
In case you were wondering,

395
00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:20,738
I didn't mean that.

396
00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:22,774
See how easy it is?

397
00:15:22,776 --> 00:15:24,409
[DIAL SPINNING]

398
00:15:24,411 --> 00:15:27,145
These home computers are amazing.

399
00:15:27,147 --> 00:15:29,080
I could start a real
bookkeeping business

400
00:15:29,082 --> 00:15:30,214
with that thing.

401
00:15:30,216 --> 00:15:32,216
And that would go a
long way to giving you

402
00:15:32,218 --> 00:15:34,152
the financial independence
you're looking for.

403
00:15:34,154 --> 00:15:36,320
Darn tootin'.

404
00:15:36,322 --> 00:15:39,290
Just for your information,

405
00:15:39,292 --> 00:15:41,659
Sheldon is using the computer right now

406
00:15:41,661 --> 00:15:43,494
to try and fix your marriage.

407
00:15:43,496 --> 00:15:45,129
Really?

408
00:15:45,131 --> 00:15:46,564
What did it say?

409
00:15:46,566 --> 00:15:48,599
It said...

410
00:15:48,601 --> 00:15:51,002
[MECHANICALLY]: "Get out
of your mother's house."

411
00:15:51,004 --> 00:15:52,437
- Mom.
- I'm serious.

412
00:15:52,439 --> 00:15:53,671
I want a cigarette, and I'm tired

413
00:15:53,673 --> 00:15:55,139
of hiding behind the garage.

414
00:15:55,141 --> 00:15:56,974
You think I should apologize to George?

415
00:15:56,976 --> 00:15:59,644
Well, of course not. That
would set a terrible precedent.

416
00:15:59,646 --> 00:16:01,112
I think you should go back over there

417
00:16:01,114 --> 00:16:02,613
to pick up some clothes for the kids

418
00:16:02,615 --> 00:16:03,952
and be all cold and distant,

419
00:16:03,955 --> 00:16:05,883
so he has to apologize to you.

420
00:16:05,885 --> 00:16:08,086
Oh, that's not bad.

421
00:16:08,088 --> 00:16:09,320
Do it.

422
00:16:09,322 --> 00:16:11,077
I will.

423
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,707
Why you drinking tea?

424
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,030
[MECHANICALLY]: Get out.

425
00:16:24,771 --> 00:16:26,838
♪ ♪

426
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,812
[EXHALES]

427
00:16:32,679 --> 00:16:34,879
[SIGHS]

428
00:16:37,884 --> 00:16:39,150
Oh, hello.

429
00:16:39,152 --> 00:16:41,741
Hey.

430
00:16:41,744 --> 00:16:43,154
Were you coming back, or...?

431
00:16:43,156 --> 00:16:45,507
Just to get some clothes for the kids.

432
00:16:46,892 --> 00:16:48,554
Oh.

433
00:16:50,457 --> 00:16:52,491
Were you coming to talk to me?

434
00:16:52,494 --> 00:16:56,262
Well... yeah.

435
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,232
I, um...

436
00:17:01,796 --> 00:17:04,008
wanted to apologize.

437
00:17:05,578 --> 00:17:07,812
Really?

438
00:17:07,814 --> 00:17:09,547
♪ ♪

439
00:17:11,593 --> 00:17:13,451
Want to go for a walk?

440
00:17:13,453 --> 00:17:14,752
Talk a little?

441
00:17:14,754 --> 00:17:17,444
Sure.

442
00:17:23,396 --> 00:17:26,436
Hey, kids, come here.

443
00:17:26,439 --> 00:17:27,983
Look at that.

444
00:17:29,827 --> 00:17:33,204
It looks like your mom and
dad are gonna be all right.

445
00:17:33,206 --> 00:17:35,421
Does this mean we're going home?

446
00:17:35,424 --> 00:17:37,457
It appears so.

447
00:17:37,460 --> 00:17:40,218
I didn't even get to
wear my earmuffs yet.

448
00:17:43,516 --> 00:17:46,984
And this program will allow us
to track our family finances,

449
00:17:46,986 --> 00:17:50,087
create a budget, and
prepare tax documents.

450
00:17:50,089 --> 00:17:51,309
- That's impressive.
- Mmm.

451
00:17:51,312 --> 00:17:52,857
Would you like to know how much money

452
00:17:52,859 --> 00:17:54,621
you spend on beer annually?

453
00:17:54,624 --> 00:17:56,085
- No.
- I would.

454
00:17:57,999 --> 00:18:00,531
$936.

455
00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:01,933
George.

456
00:18:02,858 --> 00:18:04,669
If you switched to Hawaiian Punch,

457
00:18:04,671 --> 00:18:06,704
we could live in a bigger house.

458
00:18:06,706 --> 00:18:09,460
ELIZA: Hello, I am Eliza.

459
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,851
♪ I study nuclear science ♪

460
00:18:10,854 --> 00:18:13,382
Eliza... [TYPING]

461
00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:18,516
Are... you...

462
00:18:18,518 --> 00:18:21,752
hot?

463
00:18:21,754 --> 00:18:23,888
In your fantasies, am I hot?

464
00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:27,077
Oh... yes.

465
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,574
You realize you're not
talking to a real person.

466
00:18:29,577 --> 00:18:31,863
Hey, get out of here.
I'm about to score.

467
00:18:34,701 --> 00:18:36,672
MARY: Missy! Turn off the computer.

468
00:18:36,675 --> 00:18:37,941
Time to go to bed.

469
00:18:37,944 --> 00:18:41,005
I got to finish my homework!

470
00:18:41,007 --> 00:18:43,107
Big money, big money.

471
00:18:43,109 --> 00:18:44,742
♪ Things are going great ♪

472
00:18:44,744 --> 00:18:46,911
Yes! [WHOOPS]

473
00:18:46,913 --> 00:18:48,779
♪ ♪

474
00:18:48,781 --> 00:18:50,648
♪ I'm doing all right ♪

475
00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:52,383
♪ Getting good grades ♪

476
00:18:52,385 --> 00:18:54,452
♪ The future's so bright ♪

477
00:18:54,454 --> 00:18:55,718
♪ I gotta wear shades ♪

478
00:18:55,721 --> 00:18:57,622
Hello?

479
00:18:57,624 --> 00:18:59,423
♪ I gotta wear shades ♪

480
00:18:59,425 --> 00:19:00,658
Hello?

481
00:19:00,660 --> 00:19:03,427
♪ I gotta wear shades. ♪

482
00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,951
Oh.

483
00:19:14,953 --> 00:19:17,300
- What?
- Nothin'.

484
00:19:23,948 --> 00:19:26,148
Button you pull, that's stupid.

485
00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:31,796
- <font color="#D81D1D">Synced and corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

