1 00:00:02,661 --> 00:00:05,140 The average American consumes 2 00:00:05,143 --> 00:00:08,179 55 pounds of beef per year. 3 00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:10,016 And then there's Texas, 4 00:00:10,019 --> 00:00:12,869 where we can knock that off in a couple of months. 5 00:00:12,871 --> 00:00:15,929 Maybe faster, if we're talking about smoked brisket... 6 00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:18,207 (♪♪♪) 7 00:00:21,246 --> 00:00:23,398 curiously, the one cut of beef 8 00:00:23,401 --> 00:00:26,069 that Texans and Jews agree upon. 9 00:00:28,302 --> 00:00:30,669 This is really good, Meemaw. 10 00:00:30,672 --> 00:00:31,921 Really good? 11 00:00:31,923 --> 00:00:34,457 You're spitting the best brisket in Texas 12 00:00:34,459 --> 00:00:35,959 all over the damn table. 13 00:00:35,961 --> 00:00:37,660 Close your mouth when you eat. 14 00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:39,796 Or aim your face the other way. 15 00:00:39,799 --> 00:00:42,474 Connie, one of these days, you got to give me the recipe. 16 00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:44,334 You bet. For sure. 17 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:46,820 - One of these days. - Oh, come on. 18 00:00:46,823 --> 00:00:48,286 You can't hold on to it forever. 19 00:00:48,289 --> 00:00:49,422 Mean that much to you? 20 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:50,972 Mary and I were dating about a month... 21 00:00:50,975 --> 00:00:52,441 when she brought me home for dinner. 22 00:00:52,444 --> 00:00:54,237 I took one bite of this brisket, 23 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:55,740 and I knew I loved your daughter. 24 00:00:55,743 --> 00:00:56,992 Gee, thanks. 25 00:00:56,995 --> 00:00:59,810 Kind of like Sleeping Beauty, except Dad kissed meat. 26 00:01:01,886 --> 00:01:03,019 I tell you what. 27 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,473 You go get a... 28 00:01:04,476 --> 00:01:06,055 piece of paper and a pencil, 29 00:01:06,057 --> 00:01:07,390 I'll write it down for you. 30 00:01:07,392 --> 00:01:10,242 Okay. It's happening... 31 00:01:13,331 --> 00:01:15,531 That's the fastest I've seen him run. 32 00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,767 It's the only time I've seen him run. 33 00:01:19,304 --> 00:01:20,303 There you go. 34 00:01:20,306 --> 00:01:21,914 Okay. 35 00:01:25,577 --> 00:01:26,943 I might make it this weekend. 36 00:01:26,945 --> 00:01:28,678 Or you could try a vegetable. 37 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:30,468 Vegetable? That's funny. 38 00:01:33,651 --> 00:01:35,084 Okay. 39 00:01:35,086 --> 00:01:37,007 Now, this is for your eyes only. 40 00:01:37,010 --> 00:01:38,544 You're not to share it with anybody. 41 00:01:38,547 --> 00:01:40,147 I never... I would never. 42 00:01:46,631 --> 00:01:48,064 You're a horrible person. 43 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,033 - What'd it say? 44 00:01:50,035 --> 00:01:51,300 I want to know what it said. 45 00:01:51,302 --> 00:01:53,236 - Me, too. - Just eat. 46 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,778 Can I read it? 47 00:01:59,210 --> 00:02:01,210 You are a horrible person. 48 00:02:01,212 --> 00:02:02,311 Ain't I? 49 00:02:02,313 --> 00:02:04,914 All right, that's enough about the brisket. 50 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,250 You kids excited for the church picnic tomorrow? 51 00:02:07,252 --> 00:02:08,910 - Not really. - I don't know. 52 00:02:08,913 --> 00:02:10,444 Oh, come on. 53 00:02:10,447 --> 00:02:12,687 You all saw the flier. The three "F"s: 54 00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:14,751 food, fun and fellowship. 55 00:02:14,754 --> 00:02:15,840 And I'm bringing 56 00:02:15,843 --> 00:02:18,227 a big slab of my brisket. 57 00:02:18,229 --> 00:02:20,567 That's it. 58 00:02:20,570 --> 00:02:23,625 15 years in this family, and all the time I've been nothing 59 00:02:23,628 --> 00:02:25,228 but a good, supportive son-in-law. 60 00:02:25,231 --> 00:02:26,803 I always treated your daughter right, 61 00:02:26,805 --> 00:02:28,971 I gave you three beautiful grandchildren. 62 00:02:28,973 --> 00:02:31,507 Only thing I ever asked in return was that damn recipe. 63 00:02:35,713 --> 00:02:37,080 You're right. 64 00:02:40,819 --> 00:02:43,186 Get another piece of paper. I'll write it down. 65 00:02:43,188 --> 00:02:44,554 Don't mess with me, Connie. 66 00:02:44,556 --> 00:02:46,923 Get the paper before I change my mind. 67 00:02:53,331 --> 00:02:55,465 You're gonna do it to him again, aren't you? 68 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:58,801 I kind of have to. 69 00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:01,763 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 70 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:04,539 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 71 00:03:04,542 --> 00:03:07,210 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 72 00:03:07,212 --> 00:03:10,246 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 73 00:03:19,252 --> 00:03:21,206 George, she was just fooling with you. 74 00:03:21,209 --> 00:03:23,031 No, no, she's mean. 75 00:03:23,034 --> 00:03:24,237 She got a black heart. 76 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,498 She does not. 77 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,304 Why do you always side with her? 78 00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,351 Well, she is my mother. 79 00:03:29,354 --> 00:03:30,536 And there it is. 80 00:03:30,538 --> 00:03:31,604 There's the problem. 81 00:03:31,606 --> 00:03:33,539 You should be siding with me. 82 00:03:33,541 --> 00:03:36,775 - Over brisket? - It's not just brisket. 83 00:03:36,778 --> 00:03:38,911 It's the way she's been treating me since day one. 84 00:03:38,913 --> 00:03:41,886 Like I'm some kind of loser, a booby prize. 85 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,243 - "Booby prize." - What was that? 86 00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:53,698 Georgie, you mind your own business. 87 00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,227 What did I do? 88 00:03:56,664 --> 00:03:58,664 What's going on? 89 00:03:58,666 --> 00:04:01,067 Mom and Dad are fighting. 90 00:04:01,069 --> 00:04:02,498 What about? 91 00:04:02,501 --> 00:04:04,006 Brisket. 92 00:04:05,673 --> 00:04:07,873 If they get a divorce, who do you think 93 00:04:07,875 --> 00:04:09,442 you'll pick to live with? 94 00:04:10,678 --> 00:04:12,445 Well, Mom, of course. 95 00:04:12,447 --> 00:04:14,280 I want Mom. Pick again. 96 00:04:15,850 --> 00:04:18,351 ♪♪♪ 97 00:04:18,353 --> 00:04:19,819 I thought Dad was coming. 98 00:04:19,821 --> 00:04:21,432 No, he had work to do. 99 00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:24,103 - What kind of work? - I don't know. Coaching stuff. 100 00:04:24,106 --> 00:04:25,667 Can't he do it after the picnic? 101 00:04:25,670 --> 00:04:27,660 - No, Missy, he cannot. - Why not? 102 00:04:27,662 --> 00:04:30,096 Enough. 103 00:04:30,098 --> 00:04:32,298 How come Georgie's not going? 104 00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:35,601 He's grounded for eavesdropping on me and your father. 105 00:04:37,672 --> 00:04:39,605 Well, I hope he learned his lesson. 106 00:04:39,607 --> 00:04:42,108 Is this about the recipe? 107 00:04:43,211 --> 00:04:45,845 I bet he's mad 'cause you always side with Meemaw. 108 00:04:45,847 --> 00:04:47,947 And how would you know that? 109 00:04:47,949 --> 00:04:49,682 Georgie told me. 110 00:04:49,684 --> 00:04:52,018 Are you and Dad getting a divorce? 111 00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:54,553 'Course not. 112 00:04:54,555 --> 00:04:56,808 Well, if you do, I want to live with you. 113 00:04:56,811 --> 00:04:59,525 Sheldon, no one's getting a divorce. 114 00:04:59,527 --> 00:05:01,060 But thank you, honey. 115 00:05:03,765 --> 00:05:05,665 You know this all goes away 116 00:05:05,667 --> 00:05:08,501 if you just give him your recipe for the brisket. 117 00:05:08,503 --> 00:05:09,635 I know. 118 00:05:09,637 --> 00:05:11,370 And? 119 00:05:11,372 --> 00:05:14,272 I guess it's not going away. 120 00:05:19,647 --> 00:05:21,814 And I wasn't eavesdropping. 121 00:05:21,816 --> 00:05:23,282 Don't worry about it. 122 00:05:23,284 --> 00:05:25,317 I just don't see why I got grounded. 123 00:05:25,319 --> 00:05:26,852 What are you complaining about? 124 00:05:26,854 --> 00:05:28,954 You didn't want to go to church picnic anyway. 125 00:05:28,956 --> 00:05:31,290 I like complaining. I'm good at it. 126 00:05:38,111 --> 00:05:39,978 I'll be right back. 127 00:05:39,981 --> 00:05:42,448 Mind if I have a sip of your beer? 128 00:05:42,451 --> 00:05:45,204 You mind if I dip your head in the compost heap? 129 00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:48,441 You could have just said no. 130 00:05:48,443 --> 00:05:51,143 ♪♪♪ 131 00:06:14,602 --> 00:06:17,737 What are you doing? 132 00:06:17,739 --> 00:06:19,405 Nothing! Get out of here. 133 00:06:19,407 --> 00:06:21,667 You're looking for her brisket recipe. 134 00:06:21,670 --> 00:06:23,375 All of a sudden you got smart? 135 00:06:23,377 --> 00:06:24,610 I said get out of here. 136 00:06:24,612 --> 00:06:26,312 I won't tell, I swear. 137 00:06:27,982 --> 00:06:29,248 All right, help me look. 138 00:06:35,108 --> 00:06:36,889 - Ooh. - Found it? 139 00:06:36,891 --> 00:06:38,761 No, this is her French toast. 140 00:06:38,764 --> 00:06:40,926 You're not looking for French toast. 141 00:06:40,928 --> 00:06:42,762 She does make it good, though. 142 00:06:42,764 --> 00:06:44,588 Did you know she puts vanilla extract 143 00:06:44,591 --> 00:06:45,690 in her whipped cream? 144 00:06:45,693 --> 00:06:47,066 I did not. 145 00:06:47,068 --> 00:06:48,434 Quarter teaspoon. 146 00:06:48,436 --> 00:06:50,069 - Georgie? - Yeah? 147 00:06:50,071 --> 00:06:51,704 We're looking for brisket! 148 00:06:51,706 --> 00:06:53,670 Cranky. 149 00:06:57,979 --> 00:07:00,679 We're home. 150 00:07:00,681 --> 00:07:01,781 Be cool. 151 00:07:01,783 --> 00:07:03,649 I'm cool. You be cool. 152 00:07:12,326 --> 00:07:14,059 Real cool. 153 00:07:34,615 --> 00:07:36,904 He thought I wrote it down. 154 00:07:38,677 --> 00:07:40,210 What a dope. 155 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:44,556 Seltzer... 156 00:07:44,559 --> 00:07:46,489 - hair tonic. - Hair tonic. 157 00:07:50,262 --> 00:07:51,821 Need help putting the kids down? 158 00:07:51,824 --> 00:07:53,830 No, thank you, I've been taking care of them all day. 159 00:07:53,832 --> 00:07:55,365 I think I can finish the job. 160 00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:56,866 Oh, come on, don't do that. 161 00:07:56,868 --> 00:07:58,601 Don't do what? 162 00:08:00,586 --> 00:08:02,252 Never mind. 163 00:08:06,407 --> 00:08:08,545 Just so you know, Sheldon and Missy won 164 00:08:08,547 --> 00:08:10,246 the three-legged race because she told him 165 00:08:10,248 --> 00:08:12,615 a bee was chasing them, and you missed it. 166 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:15,385 I'm sorry, I-I just needed a break from your mother. 167 00:08:15,387 --> 00:08:18,087 Yeah, well, you took a break from your family. 168 00:08:18,089 --> 00:08:20,390 How long is this feud between you two gonna go on? 169 00:08:20,392 --> 00:08:21,591 That's up to her. 170 00:08:21,593 --> 00:08:24,173 You are both such... 171 00:08:24,176 --> 00:08:27,130 stubborn... donkey butts! 172 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:29,198 Missy! 173 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,433 Go to bed. 174 00:08:30,435 --> 00:08:32,001 You don't know it's me. 175 00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:39,742 Hey. 176 00:08:39,744 --> 00:08:42,211 What do you want? 177 00:08:42,213 --> 00:08:44,714 Don't be that way. 178 00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:46,282 I brought you a cold one. 179 00:08:46,284 --> 00:08:49,252 Thanks. 180 00:08:49,254 --> 00:08:50,753 I still don't like you. 181 00:08:57,295 --> 00:08:59,762 Would this change your feelings? 182 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,299 Is that it? 183 00:09:03,301 --> 00:09:05,251 The Holy Grail. 184 00:09:09,174 --> 00:09:11,374 What changed your mind? 185 00:09:11,376 --> 00:09:13,423 You not going to the picnic today, 186 00:09:13,426 --> 00:09:15,411 that hurt Mary and the twins. 187 00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:17,080 I cannot have that on my heart. 188 00:09:17,082 --> 00:09:19,048 - Is that so? - Absolutely. 189 00:09:20,578 --> 00:09:22,177 Look me in the eye and tell me 190 00:09:22,180 --> 00:09:23,970 this is the actual recipe. 191 00:09:25,323 --> 00:09:28,318 George, what you have in your hand 192 00:09:28,321 --> 00:09:31,327 is the exact step-by-step instructions 193 00:09:31,329 --> 00:09:34,464 on how to make my brisket. 194 00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:39,002 I have never written it down until tonight because... 195 00:09:39,004 --> 00:09:42,071 I was afraid someone might steal it. 196 00:09:42,073 --> 00:09:45,228 But I'm entrusting this to you, 197 00:09:45,231 --> 00:09:49,162 and I hope that someday, when the time is right, 198 00:09:49,165 --> 00:09:52,743 you will see fit to share it with one of your children. 199 00:09:52,746 --> 00:09:54,246 Connie, I don't know what to say. 200 00:09:54,249 --> 00:09:55,849 Don't call me Connie. 201 00:09:58,922 --> 00:10:00,789 Thanks, Mom. 202 00:10:00,792 --> 00:10:02,692 You're welcome, son. 203 00:10:02,695 --> 00:10:05,496 Mmm. 204 00:10:05,499 --> 00:10:07,597 ♪♪♪ 205 00:10:07,599 --> 00:10:09,098 What a dope. 206 00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,633 ♪ What I want, you've got ♪ 207 00:10:10,635 --> 00:10:12,902 ♪ And it might be hard to handle ♪ 208 00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:15,905 ♪ But like the flame that burns the candle... ♪ 209 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:18,404 The next morning, my dad embarked 210 00:10:18,407 --> 00:10:21,878 on a doomed quest to make the perfect brisket. 211 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,880 Can I help you? 212 00:10:23,882 --> 00:10:25,581 Matter of fact, you can. 213 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,025 ♪ You pull them all together... ♪ 214 00:10:27,028 --> 00:10:30,453 I need 12 pounds of prime Angus with a medium deckle, 215 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:34,267 ideally slaughtered in the spring, no later than mid-June. 216 00:10:35,393 --> 00:10:38,654 ♪ You make my dreams come true... ♪ 217 00:10:38,657 --> 00:10:40,663 For the spice rub, 218 00:10:40,665 --> 00:10:42,632 Meemaw had him drive to New Orleans 219 00:10:42,634 --> 00:10:45,647 to buy ground coffee from Café Du Monde, 220 00:10:45,650 --> 00:10:49,756 and seven ounces of something called "holy ghost root" 221 00:10:49,759 --> 00:10:52,542 from a voodoo woman named Madam Laveau. 222 00:10:52,544 --> 00:10:53,876 ♪ Yeah... ♪ 223 00:10:53,879 --> 00:10:55,345 Could you grind my root for me? 224 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:01,350 I-I'm-a... I'm-a rub it on brisket. 225 00:11:07,926 --> 00:11:11,027 Then back home, he applied the spice rub 226 00:11:11,029 --> 00:11:13,496 with such erotic tenderness, 227 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:16,332 it made my mother a little jealous. 228 00:11:17,769 --> 00:11:19,402 ♪ Well, you... ♪ 229 00:11:19,404 --> 00:11:22,014 Finally, the cooking began. 230 00:11:22,017 --> 00:11:24,874 ♪ You make my dreams come true... ♪ 231 00:11:26,444 --> 00:11:29,078 ♪ Oh, yeah, I've been waiting for... ♪ 232 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,248 14 hours of cooking. 233 00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:33,587 And basting. 234 00:11:33,590 --> 00:11:35,184 ♪ You make my dreams come true... ♪ 235 00:11:35,186 --> 00:11:37,286 And spritzing. 236 00:11:37,288 --> 00:11:38,521 ♪ Me, you, me, you, me... ♪ 237 00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:40,782 And tending to the fire. 238 00:11:43,261 --> 00:11:46,896 ♪ Oh, my, you make my dreams come true... ♪ 239 00:11:46,898 --> 00:11:51,968 Until it was finally time to let the meat rest. 240 00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:54,103 ♪ Waiting for, waiting for, waiting for ♪ 241 00:11:54,239 --> 00:11:56,172 ♪ Waiting for, waiting for, waiting for ♪ 242 00:11:56,174 --> 00:11:58,841 Oh... 243 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:02,178 Rest, my darling. 244 00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,846 Rest. 245 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:07,850 Mmm. This Café Du Monde coffee is very good. 246 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,772 They make it with chicory. 247 00:12:09,775 --> 00:12:12,255 And what does it do to the brisket? 248 00:12:12,257 --> 00:12:13,936 Oh, I have no idea. 249 00:12:13,939 --> 00:12:18,267 Then why did you send George all the way to New Orleans? 250 00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:21,030 Well, they don't sell this around here. 251 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,198 Mmm. 252 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,700 Here we go. 253 00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:27,798 15 years and 14 hours later. 254 00:12:27,801 --> 00:12:30,267 Best brisket in Texas. 255 00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,259 Connie, you evil bitch! 256 00:12:38,262 --> 00:12:40,629 It's smoother than regular coffee. 257 00:12:40,632 --> 00:12:43,318 That wasn't the recipe. 258 00:12:43,321 --> 00:12:45,654 You looked me in the eye, and you lied to me. 259 00:12:45,657 --> 00:12:46,789 Oh, Mom. 260 00:12:46,791 --> 00:12:49,225 You broke into my home and tried to steal it. 261 00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,259 Oh, George. 262 00:12:50,261 --> 00:12:51,561 You told her we went over there? 263 00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,396 Oh, George Jr. 264 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:55,364 I didn't say nothing. I was cool. 265 00:12:55,366 --> 00:12:57,079 I am loving this. 266 00:12:57,082 --> 00:12:59,056 I don't want this woman in my house anymore. 267 00:12:59,059 --> 00:13:01,037 - She is my mother. - She is the devil. 268 00:13:01,039 --> 00:13:03,039 And what if the kids want to see her? 269 00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:04,974 Fine. 270 00:13:04,976 --> 00:13:06,909 Schedule it for when I'm not here. 271 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,642 Or when I'm dead. 272 00:13:16,321 --> 00:13:18,256 And quit drinking my coffee. 273 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:30,466 Turn off your train, we've got to talk. 274 00:13:31,502 --> 00:13:32,535 About what? 275 00:13:32,537 --> 00:13:34,170 Mom is so upset about Dad and Meemaw, 276 00:13:34,172 --> 00:13:35,671 she might want a divorce. 277 00:13:35,673 --> 00:13:37,368 No one's getting divorced. 278 00:13:37,371 --> 00:13:38,574 How do you know? 279 00:13:40,044 --> 00:13:41,677 Great, now I have to throw that out. 280 00:13:41,679 --> 00:13:45,818 Mother-in-laws are always held in low regard by the father. 281 00:13:45,821 --> 00:13:48,251 It rarely leads to a breakup of the family. 282 00:13:48,253 --> 00:13:49,486 He's right. 283 00:13:49,489 --> 00:13:52,054 Fred and Wilma are still happily married. 284 00:13:52,056 --> 00:13:53,956 I think if we can figure out 285 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,058 a way for Dad to get Meemaw's brisket recipe, 286 00:13:56,060 --> 00:13:57,393 this all goes away. 287 00:13:57,395 --> 00:13:59,636 I don't see how we can accomplish that. 288 00:14:01,032 --> 00:14:02,443 Put that down. 289 00:14:02,446 --> 00:14:03,599 That's not a toy. 290 00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:04,834 Sure it is. 291 00:14:04,836 --> 00:14:06,202 Choo choo. 292 00:14:06,204 --> 00:14:08,738 Choo choo... 293 00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:11,307 Choo choo. 294 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,843 Open wide, Moonpie. 295 00:14:13,845 --> 00:14:16,312 Here comes the choo choo train. 296 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,350 Choo choo. 297 00:14:18,353 --> 00:14:20,383 Mmm. Isn't that good? 298 00:14:21,552 --> 00:14:25,054 That's Meemaw's famous brisket. 299 00:14:25,056 --> 00:14:27,256 Would you like the secret recipe? 300 00:14:28,465 --> 00:14:31,260 You promise not to tell anybody? 301 00:14:31,262 --> 00:14:34,030 Of course you're not gonna tell anybody. 302 00:14:34,032 --> 00:14:37,600 I start with a tablespoon of cumin, 303 00:14:37,602 --> 00:14:41,003 and then a cup of brown sugar, and... 304 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,505 I know the recipe. 305 00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:43,696 What? 306 00:14:43,699 --> 00:14:44,775 She told it to me. 307 00:14:44,778 --> 00:14:45,777 When? 308 00:14:45,780 --> 00:14:48,240 February 14, 1982. 309 00:14:48,243 --> 00:14:50,413 I was 23 months old, it was Valentine's Day, 310 00:14:50,415 --> 00:14:52,287 and Mom and Dad went out for dinner. 311 00:14:52,290 --> 00:14:54,617 You were there. Don't you remember? 312 00:14:59,254 --> 00:15:00,787 I got nothing. 313 00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:03,240 You can really remember when you were that little? 314 00:15:03,243 --> 00:15:04,821 Uh-huh. You were there, too. 315 00:15:04,824 --> 00:15:06,862 You were still struggling with potty training. 316 00:15:06,864 --> 00:15:08,540 I don't think so. 317 00:15:08,543 --> 00:15:11,821 Oh, yes. Meemaw used to call you Mr. Soggy Pants. 318 00:15:11,824 --> 00:15:12,868 Nuh-uh. 319 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,345 Mr. Soggy Pants. 320 00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,081 Quit it. This is serious. 321 00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:18,306 Sheldon, you've got to tell Dad that recipe. 322 00:15:18,309 --> 00:15:20,907 But Meemaw told me it was a secret. 323 00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:24,012 If you don't, and Mom and Dad get a divorce, it's your fault. 324 00:15:24,015 --> 00:15:26,402 All right. 325 00:15:26,405 --> 00:15:27,771 Fine. 326 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,120 Good job, Soggy Pants. 327 00:15:33,091 --> 00:15:36,126 Dad, could you please come into the living room? 328 00:15:36,129 --> 00:15:37,628 What for? 329 00:15:37,631 --> 00:15:38,961 My brain did something impressive 330 00:15:38,963 --> 00:15:40,939 and I'd like to share it with you. 331 00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:43,899 Hmm. 332 00:15:49,525 --> 00:15:50,873 What are you doing here? 333 00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:52,475 Same as you. 334 00:15:52,477 --> 00:15:54,543 I want to see what his brain did. 335 00:15:54,545 --> 00:15:57,113 Please have a seat. 336 00:15:57,115 --> 00:15:58,907 All right. 337 00:16:01,918 --> 00:16:03,350 Well? 338 00:16:03,353 --> 00:16:05,787 I know Meemaw's brisket recipe. 339 00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:06,790 What? 340 00:16:06,793 --> 00:16:07,825 No, you don't. 341 00:16:07,828 --> 00:16:09,258 Yes, I do. 342 00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:11,594 And in order to bring peace to this family, 343 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,282 I'm prepared to make it public. 344 00:16:13,285 --> 00:16:14,397 You're bluffing. 345 00:16:14,399 --> 00:16:15,798 One tablespoon of cumin, 346 00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,166 one cup of brown sugar, 347 00:16:17,168 --> 00:16:19,009 two tablespoons of smoked paprika... 348 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,178 Okay, okay, stop. 349 00:16:20,181 --> 00:16:21,180 No, no, no. Keep going. 350 00:16:21,183 --> 00:16:23,138 How do you know the recipe, Shelly? 351 00:16:23,141 --> 00:16:26,248 Meemaw told it to me on Valentine's Day, 1982. 352 00:16:26,251 --> 00:16:28,110 You were out with Dad seeing Cannonball Run 353 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:29,545 at the dollar theater. 354 00:16:29,547 --> 00:16:32,048 That's impossible, you weren't even two years old. 355 00:16:32,050 --> 00:16:33,849 Three tablespoons of dried mustard, 356 00:16:33,851 --> 00:16:35,415 one cup of Lone Star beer... 357 00:16:35,418 --> 00:16:37,808 Okay. 358 00:16:37,811 --> 00:16:39,544 Okay. 359 00:16:39,547 --> 00:16:41,247 Go ahead. 360 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,459 Give it to your father. 361 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,461 I can write it down for you. 362 00:16:46,898 --> 00:16:48,731 That's okay, I don't want it. 363 00:16:48,733 --> 00:16:50,923 You have got to be kidding me. 364 00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,434 Connie, you've had every opportunity 365 00:16:52,437 --> 00:16:53,936 to give me that recipe and you never did, 366 00:16:53,938 --> 00:16:55,771 because you've always treated me like an outsider. 367 00:16:55,773 --> 00:16:56,739 No, she has not. 368 00:16:56,741 --> 00:16:58,040 Oh, of course I have. 369 00:16:58,042 --> 00:16:59,341 See? She admits it. 370 00:16:59,343 --> 00:17:01,377 Damn right, I do. 371 00:17:01,379 --> 00:17:04,880 Never thought you were good enough for my daughter. 372 00:17:04,882 --> 00:17:07,349 There you were, riding around on that dumb motorcycle, 373 00:17:07,351 --> 00:17:08,417 knocking her up. 374 00:17:08,419 --> 00:17:09,915 Why don't you kids go in the kitchen 375 00:17:09,918 --> 00:17:11,540 and fix yourselves some ice cream? 376 00:17:11,543 --> 00:17:13,343 I'm not going anywhere. 377 00:17:15,204 --> 00:17:17,751 Hey. I get it. 378 00:17:18,596 --> 00:17:19,962 I have a daughter. 379 00:17:19,964 --> 00:17:23,754 I wouldn't want her bringing home someone like that. 380 00:17:23,757 --> 00:17:26,224 But I've come a hell of a long way since then. 381 00:17:30,181 --> 00:17:32,341 Okay, you're right. 382 00:17:36,281 --> 00:17:37,914 George. 383 00:17:39,717 --> 00:17:41,251 I'm sorry. 384 00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:46,696 That means more to me than any recipe. 385 00:17:48,593 --> 00:17:50,559 Come here. 386 00:17:56,167 --> 00:17:58,814 Don't let the hug fool you. 387 00:17:58,817 --> 00:18:01,939 The minute she went home, he made me give him the recipe. 388 00:18:04,357 --> 00:18:07,552 Here we go, maiden voyage. 389 00:18:09,712 --> 00:18:11,879 Mmm, mmm. 390 00:18:11,881 --> 00:18:13,271 Hot damn. 391 00:18:13,956 --> 00:18:15,778 Hot damn. 392 00:18:19,588 --> 00:18:21,422 Hot damn! 393 00:18:21,424 --> 00:18:23,791 George! Language. 394 00:18:23,793 --> 00:18:25,125 Sheldon. 395 00:18:25,127 --> 00:18:26,859 Want some? 396 00:18:26,862 --> 00:18:29,060 Uh, no, thank you. I'm not hungry.