﻿1
00:00:07,598 --> 00:00:09,252
Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
00:00:09,296 --> 00:00:10,601
- Who are you?
- I'm Paige.

3
00:00:10,645 --> 00:00:13,300
A unique child can require
a lot of attention.

4
00:00:13,343 --> 00:00:14,779
Try all the attention.

5
00:00:14,823 --> 00:00:17,086
Barry and I haven't been
in a good place in a long time.

6
00:00:17,129 --> 00:00:20,263
This is oddly reminiscent
of a dinner with my family.

7
00:00:20,307 --> 00:00:22,831
Do you think Stone Age parents
stayed together forever?

8
00:00:22,874 --> 00:00:25,007
They had to.
There were no lawyers.

9
00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:27,705
Well, I think my parents
are getting a divorce.

10
00:00:27,749 --> 00:00:28,706
- Why?
- They fight all the time.

11
00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:31,274
- About what?
- Mostly me.

12
00:00:31,318 --> 00:00:32,710
I guess I'm lucky.

13
00:00:32,754 --> 00:00:33,972
Why?

14
00:00:34,016 --> 00:00:36,714
I'm the glue that holds
our family together.

15
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,938
No more coffee?

16
00:00:42,981 --> 00:00:43,982
Last cup.

17
00:00:44,026 --> 00:00:45,332
Well, you mind making more?

18
00:00:45,375 --> 00:00:46,942
I just sat down.

19
00:00:46,985 --> 00:00:48,770
But you finished the pot.

20
00:00:48,813 --> 00:00:50,815
George, if I wanted
to make a cup of coffee,

21
00:00:50,859 --> 00:00:52,208
I'd have stayed at my house.

22
00:00:53,427 --> 00:00:54,863
Mmm.

23
00:00:54,906 --> 00:00:56,821
One day I'm gonna put you
in a home,

24
00:00:56,865 --> 00:00:58,780
and I'm gonna smile
just like that.

25
00:00:58,823 --> 00:00:59,998
That's fine.

26
00:01:00,042 --> 00:01:01,739
By then I won't know
who you are anyway.

27
00:01:02,847 --> 00:01:05,415
Guess who is getting a divorce.

28
00:01:05,439 --> 00:01:07,832
About time. Congrats.

29
00:01:07,876 --> 00:01:10,618
Linda and Barry Swanson.

30
00:01:10,661 --> 00:01:12,663
Who's that? A-And can you
tell me how to make coffee?

31
00:01:12,707 --> 00:01:15,013
They're Paige's parents.

32
00:01:15,057 --> 00:01:15,753
Who?

33
00:01:15,797 --> 00:01:17,233
The little smart girl.

34
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:20,671
Apparently she's taking
the divorce really hard.

35
00:01:20,715 --> 00:01:23,065
I guess she's been having
trouble in school.

36
00:01:23,108 --> 00:01:24,675
Aw, poor thing.

37
00:01:24,719 --> 00:01:26,982
Linda thinks Sheldon
might be a good influence,

38
00:01:27,025 --> 00:01:29,289
you know, maybe rub off
on her a little bit.

39
00:01:29,332 --> 00:01:32,814
What, she wants her kid
to be more like Sheldon?

40
00:01:32,857 --> 00:01:35,251
I don't know what
to say about that.

41
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:37,906
So, good news.

42
00:01:37,949 --> 00:01:40,778
Paige is gonna
spend the weekend with us.

43
00:01:40,822 --> 00:01:42,040
ADULT SHELDON:
My history with Paige

44
00:01:42,084 --> 00:01:44,521
brought up complicated feelings.

45
00:01:44,565 --> 00:01:45,696
She challenged me.

46
00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:46,915
Do you know if you'll be doing

47
00:01:46,958 --> 00:01:48,090
a full-color octet calculation

48
00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:49,874
with matrix manipulations?

49
00:01:49,918 --> 00:01:51,920
I know you're in my spot.

50
00:01:51,963 --> 00:01:53,008
ADULT SHELDON: She disturbed me.

51
00:01:53,051 --> 00:01:55,097
Hi, Sheldon!

52
00:01:55,140 --> 00:01:56,664
ADULT SHELDON: She enraged me.

53
00:01:56,707 --> 00:01:57,752
Checkmate.

54
00:01:59,188 --> 00:02:00,363
ADULT SHELDON:
Things were simpler

55
00:02:00,407 --> 00:02:01,756
for my simple-minded sister.

56
00:02:01,799 --> 00:02:02,757
Yay!

57
00:02:04,933 --> 00:02:07,718
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

58
00:02:07,762 --> 00:02:10,895
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

59
00:02:10,939 --> 00:02:13,289
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

60
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:15,987
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

61
00:02:16,031 --> 00:02:19,531
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

62
00:02:19,955 --> 00:02:23,155
- Synced & corrected by<font color="#008000"> th3bucch</font> -
- <font color="#00ffff">www.addic7ed.com</font> -

63
00:02:26,607 --> 00:02:28,826
Shelly, I got you something.

64
00:02:28,870 --> 00:02:31,742
SHELDON: The Professor
Proton Science Kit!

65
00:02:31,786 --> 00:02:33,831
Wait a minute.

66
00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:35,964
Last time you gave me a present
for no reason,

67
00:02:36,007 --> 00:02:37,661
I had to get a booster shot.

68
00:02:37,705 --> 00:02:39,097
Nothing like that.

69
00:02:39,141 --> 00:02:41,883
I was just thinking,
it might be a fun thing for you

70
00:02:41,926 --> 00:02:43,275
to share with Paige.

71
00:02:43,319 --> 00:02:46,627
Sharing. Sometimes I feel
like you don't know me.

72
00:02:46,670 --> 00:02:49,412
Paige is having a rough time
at home right now,

73
00:02:49,456 --> 00:02:51,762
and I think she could really
use a friend.

74
00:02:51,806 --> 00:02:53,503
A crocodile could really
use a meal,

75
00:02:53,547 --> 00:02:55,853
but that doesn't mean
I should leap into his mouth.

76
00:02:55,897 --> 00:02:59,857
Shelly, I am asking you
to do this for me.

77
00:02:59,901 --> 00:03:01,424
ADULT SHELDON:
This was the woman

78
00:03:01,468 --> 00:03:04,209
who cut the crusts off
my sandwiches.

79
00:03:04,253 --> 00:03:06,995
- She had me.
- Into the mouth I go.

80
00:03:08,692 --> 00:03:10,651
♪ Unskinny bop ♪

81
00:03:10,694 --> 00:03:13,915
♪ Just blows me away, yeah... ♪

82
00:03:13,958 --> 00:03:15,786
Why haven't you mowed the lawn?

83
00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:17,005
I been busy.

84
00:03:17,048 --> 00:03:18,876
Well, you're not busy now.[exhales]

85
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:20,051
I'm working out.

86
00:03:20,095 --> 00:03:22,532
Got the word "work"
right there in it.

87
00:03:22,576 --> 00:03:24,665
[music stops]

88
00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:26,493
Get out there and mow.

89
00:03:26,536 --> 00:03:28,451
Why? I'm making good money.

90
00:03:28,495 --> 00:03:31,019
I don't need an allowance,
so I don't need to do chores.

91
00:03:31,062 --> 00:03:32,586
It's not about that.

92
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,501
You're part of this family,
you still need to help out.

93
00:03:34,544 --> 00:03:35,980
So I'm just here
to do your bidding?

94
00:03:36,024 --> 00:03:38,853
Well, and people say
Sheldon's a genius.

95
00:03:42,378 --> 00:03:43,727
[doorbell rings]

96
00:03:43,771 --> 00:03:46,556
I just want to remind you both
to please be sensitive

97
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,429
about the situation
with Paige's family.

98
00:03:49,472 --> 00:03:50,821
She's talking to you, dingus.

99
00:03:50,865 --> 00:03:52,388
Both of you.

100
00:03:52,432 --> 00:03:53,389
[door opens]

101
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,391
- Hi, come in.
- Hello.

102
00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:56,914
Hi, Missy. Hi, Sheldon.

103
00:03:56,958 --> 00:03:59,134
What did you do to your hair?
Is this because

104
00:03:59,177 --> 00:04:00,483
your parents got divorced?

105
00:04:00,527 --> 00:04:01,919
[sighs]Dingus.

106
00:04:01,963 --> 00:04:03,355
LINDA: Well,
she just really wanted to,

107
00:04:03,399 --> 00:04:05,140
and I thought, you know,
under the circumstances,

108
00:04:05,183 --> 00:04:06,141
why not?

109
00:04:06,184 --> 00:04:07,838
Well, I think it looks great.

110
00:04:07,882 --> 00:04:08,839
So, can I have pink...?

111
00:04:08,883 --> 00:04:11,320
No. Why don't you kids go play?

112
00:04:11,363 --> 00:04:13,453
I'd rather have pink hair
than together parents.

113
00:04:13,496 --> 00:04:14,802
PAIGE: I don't blame you.

114
00:04:18,849 --> 00:04:20,764
Well, it's about time.

115
00:04:23,941 --> 00:04:26,030
Hi, Mr. Cooper!

116
00:04:26,074 --> 00:04:29,469
Billy. What are you doing?

117
00:04:29,512 --> 00:04:30,948
[turns motor off]I'm mowing the lawn.

118
00:04:30,992 --> 00:04:31,993
What are you doing?

119
00:04:32,036 --> 00:04:33,690
Did Georgie put you up to this?

120
00:04:33,734 --> 00:04:34,822
Yeah. He's paying me.

121
00:04:34,865 --> 00:04:36,693
That dummy.

122
00:04:36,737 --> 00:04:38,913
I'm raising the money
to buy a Jet Ski.

123
00:04:41,176 --> 00:04:43,004
I mean, I'm thrilled
that he's gone,

124
00:04:43,047 --> 00:04:44,832
but I do worry about
how it's affecting Paige.

125
00:04:44,875 --> 00:04:46,268
Of course.

126
00:04:46,311 --> 00:04:48,444
You and George have
such a beautiful family.

127
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:51,055
I think it's good for her
to be around that right now.

128
00:04:53,623 --> 00:04:54,798
Oh. Hey.

129
00:04:54,842 --> 00:04:57,584
Nice to see you.
Sorry about the divorce.

130
00:04:57,627 --> 00:05:00,195
I got to go yell
at my idiot son.

131
00:05:00,238 --> 00:05:01,718
Georgie! Where are you?

132
00:05:04,155 --> 00:05:05,679
You look great, by the way.

133
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,333
Oh, thanks.
I started smoking again.

134
00:05:08,377 --> 00:05:10,205
[hard rock music playing][knock at door]

135
00:05:11,293 --> 00:05:13,164
What the hell's wrong with you?

136
00:05:13,208 --> 00:05:14,688
You think it's okay
for Billy Sparks

137
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,080
to do your work?

138
00:05:16,124 --> 00:05:17,560
I paid him.

139
00:05:17,604 --> 00:05:19,780
I tried to give him two dollars,
but he only wanted one.

140
00:05:19,823 --> 00:05:22,522
Damn it, Georgie, I'm trying
to teach you responsibility.

141
00:05:22,565 --> 00:05:25,481
You can't just buy your way
out of everything in life.

142
00:05:25,525 --> 00:05:28,092
You sure? 'Cause I'll give you ten bucks
to leave me alone right now.

143
00:05:28,136 --> 00:05:29,529
Go mow the lawn.

144
00:05:29,572 --> 00:05:31,269
I'm not gonna say it again.

145
00:05:31,313 --> 00:05:34,925
Fine. But I'm only doing this
so you'll get off my back.

146
00:05:34,969 --> 00:05:37,188
Oh, you'll know when I'm
on your back, little man.

147
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,931
Now we can be hair twins.

148
00:05:40,975 --> 00:05:43,107
Paige, you're supposed to be
doing science with me.

149
00:05:43,151 --> 00:05:44,718
That's boring.

150
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,937
I want to do
something dangerous.

151
00:05:46,981 --> 00:05:49,418
This is dangerous. We don't have
an eye wash station.

152
00:05:49,461 --> 00:05:51,638
- Let's go to the mall.
- Mom doesn't like the mall.

153
00:05:51,681 --> 00:05:54,031
She says the mannequins
don't have enough clothes on,

154
00:05:54,075 --> 00:05:56,207
but I think
it's 'cause we're poor.

155
00:05:56,251 --> 00:05:58,949
We are poor. I do our taxes.

156
00:05:58,993 --> 00:06:00,734
Don't worry. I'll ask her.

157
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:02,300
Ever since my
parents got divorced,

158
00:06:02,344 --> 00:06:03,954
people can't say no to me.

159
00:06:03,998 --> 00:06:06,087
My mom promised she would
take me to the mall to get me

160
00:06:06,130 --> 00:06:08,089
a new backpack,
but she was so busy

161
00:06:08,132 --> 00:06:09,830
cleaning my dad's stuff
out of the garage

162
00:06:09,873 --> 00:06:11,745
that I think she forgot.

163
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:15,052
Oh. Of course I can take you.
Anything you need.

164
00:06:15,096 --> 00:06:17,185
Thank you, Mrs. Cooper.

165
00:06:20,841 --> 00:06:23,060
Will you marry me?

166
00:06:30,067 --> 00:06:31,852
Why are you taking
a backpack to the mall?

167
00:06:31,895 --> 00:06:33,636
This is my mall safety kit.

168
00:06:35,507 --> 00:06:37,335
Earplugs to drown out
crowd noise,

169
00:06:37,379 --> 00:06:39,511
Wet-Naps to wipe down
escalator handrails,

170
00:06:39,555 --> 00:06:41,339
a compass, a map of the mall,

171
00:06:41,383 --> 00:06:43,080
and a whistle,
in case I get lost

172
00:06:43,124 --> 00:06:45,561
or approached by a woman
holding a perfume bottle.

173
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,563
You want to stuff him
in there, right?

174
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,956
No.

175
00:06:48,999 --> 00:06:50,305
[mouths]

176
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,569
Okay, Paige,

177
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:55,876
where should we go
to get your backpack?

178
00:06:55,919 --> 00:06:58,966
-The Hello Kitty store.
-I would help you find it, but this subpar mall map

179
00:06:59,009 --> 00:07:00,881
isn't even oriented north.

180
00:07:00,924 --> 00:07:04,145
- Let's go.
-All right, have fun at the Hello Kitty store,

181
00:07:04,188 --> 00:07:06,582
and meet me at the
fountain in half an hour.

182
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:09,759
Just to be clear, there are
no actual kitties, right?

183
00:07:11,021 --> 00:07:12,980
I can't imagine
talking to my dad

184
00:07:13,023 --> 00:07:14,459
the way this kid talks to me.

185
00:07:14,503 --> 00:07:17,549
I'd have had a belt
on my backside so fast...

186
00:07:17,593 --> 00:07:19,726
My dad was a hugger.

187
00:07:19,769 --> 00:07:22,163
I had to tell him three times
to mow the lawn,

188
00:07:22,206 --> 00:07:23,512
and he still gave me attitude.

189
00:07:23,555 --> 00:07:26,646
He's going to school,
holding down a job.

190
00:07:26,689 --> 00:07:29,649
If he was my kid,
I'd be proud of him.

191
00:07:31,607 --> 00:07:34,044
I am proud of him.

192
00:07:34,088 --> 00:07:36,003
When he's not being
a total pain in my ass.

193
00:07:37,526 --> 00:07:40,094
You ever tell him you're proud?

194
00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:41,486
He knows.

195
00:07:41,530 --> 00:07:44,359
I think it's important
for children to hear it.

196
00:07:44,402 --> 00:07:46,622
You don't even have kids.

197
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:48,624
I teach and coach teenage boys.

198
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:51,496
I also put up with
your childish nonsense.

199
00:07:53,585 --> 00:07:55,718
Georgie's just being
so damn disrespectful,

200
00:07:55,762 --> 00:07:57,024
I don't want to reward that.

201
00:07:57,067 --> 00:07:58,503
All right.

202
00:07:58,547 --> 00:08:00,636
My father never said
he was proud of me.

203
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,116
I turned out just fine.

204
00:08:02,159 --> 00:08:06,773
George, I'm just trying
to have a nice day,

205
00:08:06,816 --> 00:08:08,513
make some white folks
uncomfortable.

206
00:08:08,557 --> 00:08:10,341
Can you please?

207
00:08:11,647 --> 00:08:15,607
♪ Bela Lugosi's dead... ♪

208
00:08:15,651 --> 00:08:17,784
This isn't the Hello Kitty store.

209
00:08:17,827 --> 00:08:20,569
No. It's Hot Topic.

210
00:08:20,612 --> 00:08:22,612
What's the topic, devil worship?

211
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,836
Hey, did you know there's
a bow tie section in the back?

212
00:08:26,029 --> 00:08:27,529
Why would they hide
that in the back?

213
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:32,799
What's that?

214
00:08:32,842 --> 00:08:34,626
Body glitter.

215
00:08:34,670 --> 00:08:37,020
That's so much better
than regular glitter.

216
00:08:37,064 --> 00:08:38,021
Then buy it.

217
00:08:38,065 --> 00:08:39,893
I don't have any money.

218
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,155
Then steal it.

219
00:08:41,198 --> 00:08:43,374
No, my mom would kill me.

220
00:08:46,638 --> 00:08:48,640
Fine. Your mom can't punish me.

221
00:08:48,684 --> 00:08:49,903
SHELDON: I didn't
see any bow ties,

222
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:51,600
just a shirt with
a bad word on it.

223
00:08:51,643 --> 00:08:53,384
What did you put in your pocket?

224
00:08:53,428 --> 00:08:54,777
Nothing.

225
00:08:54,821 --> 00:08:56,605
Are you guys stealing?
Because if you are,

226
00:08:56,648 --> 00:08:59,148
I am prepared to literally
blow the whistle on you...

227
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:00,318
Okay.

228
00:09:00,478 --> 00:09:01,741
Okay.

229
00:09:01,784 --> 00:09:04,439
Relax, we were just
playing around.

230
00:09:04,482 --> 00:09:06,484
- Let's just get out of here.
- Good.

231
00:09:06,528 --> 00:09:07,572
Everyone behind the counter

232
00:09:07,616 --> 00:09:09,052
has an earring where an earring

233
00:09:09,096 --> 00:09:10,706
does not belong.

234
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,534
Hey, Vern,
looks like you're turning

235
00:09:12,577 --> 00:09:15,145
into quite the little shopper.

236
00:09:15,189 --> 00:09:16,146
Hey.

237
00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:17,582
I've already mowed the lawn.

238
00:09:17,626 --> 00:09:19,628
I know. Thanks for doing that.

239
00:09:19,671 --> 00:09:22,152
So what do you want?

240
00:09:22,196 --> 00:09:24,851
Well, I was thinking you and I
could go grab a burger.

241
00:09:24,894 --> 00:09:26,678
Why?

242
00:09:26,722 --> 00:09:28,637
'Cause I thought
it'd be a nice thing to do.

243
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,291
Which restaurant?

244
00:09:30,334 --> 00:09:32,162
Why does it matter?

245
00:09:32,206 --> 00:09:33,511
Well, McDonald's burgers
are fried,

246
00:09:33,555 --> 00:09:35,078
and sometimes
I like flame-broiled.

247
00:09:35,122 --> 00:09:37,733
Fine, we can go to Burger King.

248
00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,561
I don't like the fries
at Burger King.

249
00:09:39,604 --> 00:09:40,910
Ooh, Arby's has

250
00:09:40,954 --> 00:09:42,346
those curly fries.

251
00:09:42,390 --> 00:09:44,522
Shoot, they don't have burgers.

252
00:09:44,566 --> 00:09:47,047
Then let's go to Whataburger.

253
00:09:47,090 --> 00:09:49,832
Okay, but I hope you're not
this cranky the whole meal.

254
00:09:50,877 --> 00:09:53,749
[exhales]

255
00:09:56,839 --> 00:09:58,667
So,

256
00:09:58,710 --> 00:10:00,930
we haven't really had
a chance to talk much lately.

257
00:10:00,974 --> 00:10:02,540
Why is it so hot in here?

258
00:10:02,584 --> 00:10:04,325
AC's busted.

259
00:10:04,368 --> 00:10:05,848
Why don't you get it fixed?

260
00:10:05,892 --> 00:10:08,198
'Cause I got better things
to spend my money on.

261
00:10:09,243 --> 00:10:10,766
Anyway,

262
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:12,246
what I wanted to say

263
00:10:12,289 --> 00:10:16,685
is, even though I'm not loving
your attitude lately,

264
00:10:16,728 --> 00:10:18,469
I think it's great
you got this job

265
00:10:18,513 --> 00:10:20,732
and y-you're doing
so well at it.

266
00:10:22,691 --> 00:10:24,214
I'm proud of you.

267
00:10:24,258 --> 00:10:25,999
All right.

268
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,957
That's all you have to say?

269
00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:30,568
Well, maybe if I wasn't
sweating my balls off,

270
00:10:30,612 --> 00:10:32,135
I could think of something else.

271
00:10:32,179 --> 00:10:33,789
Just stick your head
out the window.

272
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,313
If it's about money,
I've got money.

273
00:10:38,359 --> 00:10:40,970
It can even be a loan
if it makes you feel better.

274
00:10:42,667 --> 00:10:44,669
Don't you dare.

275
00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:50,675
You said you're proud of my job.
I don't think you are.

276
00:10:50,719 --> 00:10:52,242
You know what? Forget lunch.

277
00:10:52,286 --> 00:10:53,678
Let's just go home.

278
00:10:53,722 --> 00:10:56,029
Smart. Save some money
for your truck.

279
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,596
That's it.

280
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,598
You're walking.

281
00:11:08,824 --> 00:11:12,523
ADULT SHELDON: I had survived a
perilous trip to the accessory store,

282
00:11:12,567 --> 00:11:16,832
but it turned out,
the real accessory was me.

283
00:11:22,359 --> 00:11:23,839
I can't believe you stole.

284
00:11:23,883 --> 00:11:25,928
You walked out with it.
You stole.

285
00:11:25,972 --> 00:11:27,234
Why would I steal glitter?

286
00:11:27,277 --> 00:11:29,366
I already have
a sparkling personality.

287
00:11:29,910 --> 00:11:31,346
Tell it to the cops.

288
00:11:31,410 --> 00:11:32,628
Or your cellmate.

289
00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:36,152
You're so smart.
Why are you acting like this?

290
00:11:36,180 --> 00:11:38,052
Maybe I don't want to be smart.

291
00:11:38,087 --> 00:11:40,481
I have to sit down.

292
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:42,459
Being smart sucks.

293
00:11:42,526 --> 00:11:44,877
It's the reason
we moved here from Arkansas,

294
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:48,707
a-and my parents never yelled
at each other before that.

295
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:52,014
It's just better to be normal.

296
00:11:52,058 --> 00:11:55,539
It works for me. But I
also have good cheekbones.

297
00:12:02,310 --> 00:12:03,746
You swim here?

298
00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:06,970
Dad kicked me out of his truck.
I had to walk back.

299
00:12:06,970 --> 00:12:09,581
[chuckles] What dumb thing
did you say or do?

300
00:12:09,624 --> 00:12:11,931
How do you know I'm the one
who did something dumb?

301
00:12:11,974 --> 00:12:14,194
'Cause you kind of shine at it.

302
00:12:14,237 --> 00:12:16,979
All I did is offer
to pay to fix his AC.

303
00:12:17,023 --> 00:12:19,329
And there it is. Dumb.

304
00:12:19,373 --> 00:12:20,461
What's wrong with that?

305
00:12:20,504 --> 00:12:21,897
Your dad is a grown man.

306
00:12:21,941 --> 00:12:25,292
He doesn't want his kid
giving him money.

307
00:12:25,335 --> 00:12:27,250
So he's glad I'm making money,

308
00:12:27,294 --> 00:12:30,036
but I'm not allowed to use
that money to help him out?

309
00:12:30,079 --> 00:12:31,951
- I don't get it.
- Well, someday, when you have

310
00:12:31,994 --> 00:12:35,563
a bunch of sweaty, mullet-headed
kids running around, you will.

311
00:12:35,606 --> 00:12:37,478
Oh, I ain't never having kids.

312
00:12:37,521 --> 00:12:40,916
Well, that's the smartest thing
I ever heard you say.

313
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:42,962
Thank you.

314
00:12:44,833 --> 00:12:46,748
[chuckles softly]

315
00:12:48,968 --> 00:12:51,100
[line ringing]

316
00:12:51,144 --> 00:12:53,276
STURGIS [over phone]:
John Sturgis at your service.

317
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:54,974
Dr. Sturgis, Sheldon Cooper.

318
00:12:55,017 --> 00:12:56,366
Hello, Sheldon.

319
00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:57,411
How are you doing?

320
00:12:57,454 --> 00:12:59,717
Confused, upset, annoyed,

321
00:12:59,761 --> 00:13:02,068
and potentially
in trouble with the law.

322
00:13:02,111 --> 00:13:05,462
Well, in which order would
you like to handle this?

323
00:13:05,506 --> 00:13:07,029
Let's start with confused,

324
00:13:07,073 --> 00:13:09,162
but if we hear sirens
approaching, we'll jump ahead.

325
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,381
Great. What's on your mind?

326
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:13,993
Do you ever wish
that you weren't smart?

327
00:13:14,036 --> 00:13:17,039
So I would be short,
lonely and stupid?

328
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:18,867
No, that seems worse.

329
00:13:18,910 --> 00:13:20,216
Why do you ask?

330
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:22,044
Do you remember Paige?

331
00:13:22,088 --> 00:13:24,046
Of course,
brilliant little girl.

332
00:13:24,090 --> 00:13:25,352
I know, but she says
that she doesn't

333
00:13:25,395 --> 00:13:27,310
want to be smart anymore.

334
00:13:27,354 --> 00:13:31,575
Well, perhaps she's experiencing
some sort of identity crisis.

335
00:13:31,619 --> 00:13:34,230
Is it possible her ex
is dating someone

336
00:13:34,274 --> 00:13:38,321
who seems better for her
in every imaginable way?

337
00:13:38,365 --> 00:13:40,236
I'm confused.

338
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,890
So am I.

339
00:13:41,933 --> 00:13:45,024
How do I make her understand
that being smart is the best?

340
00:13:45,067 --> 00:13:50,203
Might I suggest, instead
of trying to fix her problem,

341
00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:52,422
you just listen?

342
00:13:52,466 --> 00:13:55,338
When I was in the psychiatric
ward, I learned that people

343
00:13:55,382 --> 00:14:00,343
who are struggling emotionally
often just need to be heard.

344
00:14:00,387 --> 00:14:02,345
Hmm.

345
00:14:02,389 --> 00:14:05,218
Sounds difficult,
but I suppose I could try.

346
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,872
Another thing I learned in
the hospital is that some people

347
00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:11,093
believe there are weird mole men
living in tunnels

348
00:14:11,137 --> 00:14:13,443
deep inside the earth.

349
00:14:13,487 --> 00:14:16,142
Well, this has been
mostly helpful.

350
00:14:16,185 --> 00:14:18,144
And you're mostly welcome.

351
00:14:24,085 --> 00:14:25,303
You made it.

352
00:14:25,347 --> 00:14:27,349
Yeah, I made it.

353
00:14:33,855 --> 00:14:35,857
Sorry.

354
00:14:37,772 --> 00:14:39,774
No problem.

355
00:14:45,997 --> 00:14:47,564
Ow.

356
00:14:47,608 --> 00:14:51,351
Ow. Is there a way to do this
so it doesn't hurt?

357
00:14:51,394 --> 00:14:53,353
No. Beauty is pain.

358
00:14:53,396 --> 00:14:55,964
Boy George must really suffer.

359
00:14:56,007 --> 00:14:57,357
Missy, I need a moment
with Paige.

360
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,272
Make it quick.

361
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,317
I'm only half-beautiful.

362
00:15:05,278 --> 00:15:06,279
Yeah?

363
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:07,976
I'm listening.

364
00:15:08,019 --> 00:15:08,977
To what?

365
00:15:09,020 --> 00:15:10,196
To you.

366
00:15:10,239 --> 00:15:11,719
I'm not saying anything.

367
00:15:11,762 --> 00:15:13,416
Well, if you wanted to say
anything, I'd be listening.

368
00:15:14,461 --> 00:15:15,984
But I don't want
to say anything.

369
00:15:16,027 --> 00:15:18,421
And I don't want to be
listening, but here we are.

370
00:15:18,465 --> 00:15:19,770
Are you feeling better yet?

371
00:15:19,814 --> 00:15:24,253
You're being weird,
and not in the usual way.

372
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,301
Guess that's my life now.

373
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,737
What do you mean?

374
00:15:31,782 --> 00:15:34,437
Everyone is acting weird.

375
00:15:34,481 --> 00:15:39,442
My mom is going on dates and
my dad is acting like a child.

376
00:15:39,486 --> 00:15:43,185
My sister's crying all the time.

377
00:15:44,230 --> 00:15:45,970
I just

378
00:15:46,014 --> 00:15:51,324
wish that everything could
go back to the way it was.

379
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:55,197
I don't think it will.

380
00:15:55,241 --> 00:15:57,765
ADULT SHELDON: It turned out I
was really good at listening.

381
00:15:57,808 --> 00:16:01,464
The trick is to sit there, and
when you want to leave, don't.

382
00:16:02,509 --> 00:16:06,034
I have to live
in two separate houses.

383
00:16:06,077 --> 00:16:10,952
And my grandma says the meanest
things about my dad.

384
00:16:10,995 --> 00:16:13,433
I know that everyone is upset

385
00:16:13,476 --> 00:16:15,391
that I'm not doing well
in school.

386
00:16:15,435 --> 00:16:19,482
It's just hard to care.

387
00:16:21,528 --> 00:16:24,531
Everything that used
to seem important to me

388
00:16:24,574 --> 00:16:29,013
just... doesn't anymore.

389
00:16:31,233 --> 00:16:36,020
So I guess, really,
I just feel alone.

390
00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:42,157
That sounds hard.

391
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:45,595
Yeah... it is.

392
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:47,597
ADULT SHELDON:
Dr. Sturgis was right.

393
00:16:47,641 --> 00:16:52,080
There was nothing I could do
to fix this, or so I thought.

394
00:16:52,123 --> 00:16:54,300
Can I offer you a hot beverage?

395
00:16:55,344 --> 00:16:57,128
That would be nice.

396
00:16:57,172 --> 00:16:59,261
Be right back.

397
00:17:00,871 --> 00:17:02,612
ADULT SHELDON:
The "Hot Beverage of Comfort"

398
00:17:02,656 --> 00:17:04,266
would become my go-to method

399
00:17:04,310 --> 00:17:07,138
of dealing with someone
in emotional distress.

400
00:17:07,182 --> 00:17:08,966
And it always worked.

401
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:11,317
Except when my wife
was in labor,

402
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:14,363
where it was suggested
I throw it in my own face.

403
00:17:21,327 --> 00:17:23,154
- What you doing?
- Paige is feeling sad,

404
00:17:23,198 --> 00:17:25,461
so I'm making her
a hot beverage.

405
00:17:25,505 --> 00:17:27,507
Oh. You're a good kid.

406
00:17:30,161 --> 00:17:32,163
I'm proud of you.

407
00:17:33,208 --> 00:17:35,123
Thank you.

408
00:17:35,166 --> 00:17:36,559
ADULT SHELDON:
Of all my accomplishments,

409
00:17:36,603 --> 00:17:39,345
I don't know why he singled
this moment out,

410
00:17:39,388 --> 00:17:42,217
but I'm glad he did.

411
00:17:42,261 --> 00:17:43,784
Sup?

412
00:17:43,827 --> 00:17:48,179
♪ I sparkle ♪

413
00:17:48,223 --> 00:17:51,182
♪ Loving the way that I do ♪

414
00:17:51,226 --> 00:17:53,620
♪ It is true ♪

415
00:17:53,663 --> 00:17:55,926
♪ I feel so good ♪

416
00:17:55,970 --> 00:17:59,147
♪ Just having you ♪

417
00:17:59,190 --> 00:18:04,370
♪ Breathlessly ♪

418
00:18:04,413 --> 00:18:08,025
♪ And eager ♪

419
00:18:08,069 --> 00:18:09,070
♪ Submission isn't easy. ♪

