1 00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:07,881 [Percy whistling] 2 00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:23,481 What is that? 3 00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:24,565 That you? 4 00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:31,281 That you, batty batty? 5 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:35,326 [shouting] 6 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:39,205 Get back! Get back! Get off me! 7 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,624 Those damn twins and their damn pranks! 8 00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:47,588 A NETFLIX SERIES 9 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:58,808 Don't worry, we're not infested. It's Carol's twin grandsons. 10 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,518 They've been pranking us for weeks. 11 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,938 Gluing the mailbox shut, lubing the floor, setting off car alarms. 12 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,607 - Who's Carol? - You know. 13 00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:08,902 Vests, kind of scary. She owns Hot Piece of Bass. 14 00:01:08,985 --> 00:01:11,696 When will you change the employee photos back? 15 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,823 [Timmy] I like the Buscemis staring at me. 16 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,951 Makes me feel like I'm in an unproduced Charlie Kaufman movie. 17 00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:20,413 The twins hid a beehive in my store again. 18 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:25,293 [laughing] Classic Carol's grandsons. I better get going. 19 00:01:25,376 --> 00:01:28,254 Have to give some kisses to my bearded dragons. 20 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:32,050 We gotta retaliate. How do we top the eyebrow scar we gave Evan? 21 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:36,471 That was Trevin, and that was on him for having so many fishing lures on his hat. 22 00:01:36,554 --> 00:01:40,975 We find a way to give them one of the less permanent versions of hepatitis. 23 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:45,313 I love that. Diarrhea, the other symptoms, but not the full hepatitis. 24 00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:46,773 [chuckles] 25 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,441 Actually, I'm out. 26 00:01:49,609 --> 00:01:50,652 - What? - Look, 27 00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:52,779 Halloween is our biggest time of the year, 28 00:01:52,862 --> 00:01:55,907 with people looking for horror movies they can't get on streamers. 29 00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:57,325 This year will be bigger 30 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:59,911 because of publicity from that news report. 31 00:01:59,994 --> 00:02:02,705 Look around. We haven't had this many customers 32 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,333 since Fifty Shades of Grey made the whole country horny. 33 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:08,753 I'm not gonna jeopardize that by getting into a prank war with children. 34 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,880 We're this close to getting out of the woods. 35 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,924 You're two months behind on rent. 36 00:02:13,007 --> 00:02:14,926 - Oh. - Damn. I'm torn. 37 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,178 The half of me that wants my money is impressed. 38 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:22,100 But the half of me that wants to put two ninth graders in a hospital is bummed. 39 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:24,686 I like this new Timmy. Let's support him. 40 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,729 He's trying to be a responsible boss. 41 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,731 [timer beeping] 42 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:29,815 What is that? 43 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,238 [ominous music playing] 44 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,451 [Eliza gasps] 45 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:44,164 Glitter bomb. Damn it. 46 00:02:44,247 --> 00:02:47,375 - Impressive, though. - I think it scratched my cornea. 47 00:02:47,458 --> 00:02:48,835 [Hannah] So you summon ghosts? 48 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:52,338 No, Día de los Muertos isn't about ghosts exactly. 49 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,382 They're spirits of dead relatives 50 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,843 who come back to visit for one night. 51 00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,970 Oh, so zombies then. 52 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,096 Not zombies. 53 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:03,224 Fine, if I have to choose, more ghosts than zombies. 54 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:04,934 It's more of a spiritual reunion. 55 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:08,146 You put offerings out to welcome your lost loved ones, 56 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:12,609 like their photo and favorite things, so they find their way back to you. 57 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:16,029 So they take a bite out of cookies like Santa Claus. 58 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:16,946 Nope. 59 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,658 Still more ghosts than Santa. Maybe it's easier if I show you. 60 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,660 Do you wanna make an ofrenda for your mom? 61 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:25,330 - That would be really cool. - Happy to do it. 62 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,831 What did your mom like? 63 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:29,209 Skirts that were secretly shorts. 64 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,710 Amen to that. 65 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,422 But I mean more like what was her favorite food? 66 00:03:34,505 --> 00:03:37,091 Bugles. They had them at the hospital where she worked. 67 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,677 Well, volunteered. She was a candy striper. 68 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,888 - Do you have any photos? - Yeah. 69 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:45,516 This is one of my faves. 70 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,060 Oh, she was so young. 71 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:50,897 If you don't mind me asking, what happened to her? 72 00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:51,980 She died. 73 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:53,942 Sure. 74 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:55,902 But... how? 75 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,154 It's kind of embarrassing. 76 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,989 I'm not totally sure. 77 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,117 I was super young, and any time I ask my dad, 78 00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:06,871 he says he's gonna grab a beer and then goes on a 4-mile walk. 79 00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:07,955 Men are limited. 80 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:12,752 Okay, it's just you and me, the boys. 81 00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:14,587 How do we get back at the twins? 82 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:19,509 Ooh. How about we make it about the psychological instead of the physical? 83 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,760 Kids are sponges. 84 00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,429 We gotta scar the little bastards for life. 85 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:24,847 No, I'm serious. 86 00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:25,932 I've changed. 87 00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:27,892 - You have changed. - [Eliza] Hey. 88 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,477 [yelps] I wasn't scared. 89 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,105 So, hi. Yes, Eliza? 90 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:35,024 I brought you a new shirt since yours is covered in glitter. 91 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,443 Uh-oh. Shirt alert. Whoop, whoop! 92 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:40,697 The shirt alert's going off 'cause there is a shirt in my hands. 93 00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:42,282 You're welcome. 94 00:04:44,742 --> 00:04:47,745 - [door closes] - What is all that? 95 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:49,289 Look, I don't know, man. 96 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,874 Ever since I admitted I liked her and almost told her, 97 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:52,959 sometimes it's fine, 98 00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:55,962 then other times I look at her and I don't know how to act. 99 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,006 Does this seem normal to you? 100 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,301 Uh... 101 00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:04,344 No? 102 00:05:04,762 --> 00:05:05,762 Here we go. 103 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,307 Hi, Eliza. 104 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:10,101 You look like you're in a nest keeping your eggs warm. 105 00:05:10,184 --> 00:05:11,185 How about this? 106 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:15,605 No? 107 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:18,817 Okay. 108 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,779 - Hi, Eliza. - Do a school photo. 109 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,657 Okay. Okay, now let me see a straight ahead one. 110 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:27,243 No. 111 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:28,494 Halloween. 112 00:05:29,787 --> 00:05:32,081 Return of the Stepmother. Twenty... 113 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:37,795 Timmy. Please stop buying lightbulbs from Facebook Marketplace. 114 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:39,797 Wattage has a minus in front of the number. 115 00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:43,968 [shouts] 116 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,763 Didn't mean to scare you. Hi, I'm Damon. 117 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,307 I'm gonna be helping with the Halloween curation. 118 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:51,726 Hi. I'm Carlos. 119 00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:54,562 I'll handle the curating myself like always. 120 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:56,272 - Thanks. - That's perfect. 121 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,150 We can just do it by ourselves, side by side. 122 00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,485 Oh, really? 123 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:02,236 Oh, cool. Yeah. Timmy! 124 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,614 Do you know if we carry the butthole cut of Cats? 125 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:05,698 [door closes] 126 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,327 Last night's Dateline was epic. 127 00:06:09,410 --> 00:06:12,872 Ugh! I missed it. My husband had his fight club over 128 00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:16,709 so it was all setting down coasters and stitching up eyebrows. 129 00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:20,880 You know how the last few episodes have been so boring? 130 00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:24,133 Man has affair with a 19-year-old hostess at a fast-casual, 131 00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:27,804 murders his wife, cries about it in court, and says, "I'm a good Christian man." 132 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,389 - Snooze. - Wake up, people, 133 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:32,558 because they finally gave us a serial killer. 134 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:33,642 One from here. 135 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,686 Oh, Jesus is good. 136 00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:38,689 "The Shadow Lake Killer," and this guy had a type. 137 00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:43,694 All his victims were 5'9", candy stripers, and, get this, natural redheads. 138 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:45,905 Why redheads? I heard they're crazy. 139 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,866 - Not you. You seem cool. - What's this? 140 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,077 An ofrenda for Hannah's mom. 141 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,454 I'm trying to teach her about Día de los Muertos. 142 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:57,333 But she's Hannah. Her only reference for the afterlife includes Kristen Bell. 143 00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,920 - Wait, so Hannah's mom was a redhead. - And a candy striper. 144 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:04,882 Wai... Oh, God. What if she's a victim of the shadow lake killer? 145 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:08,553 He had four confirmed kills, but they suspect dozens more. 146 00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:11,973 I mean, maybe? Hannah doesn't know how she died. 147 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:13,391 - No. - No, be real. 148 00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:15,893 We've seen too much Dateline, which isn't a criticism. 149 00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:18,521 - We have to cut it with 48 Hours. - Yeah. 150 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:22,567 My mom loved blueberries, especially the wild ones at Shadow Lake. 151 00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:25,278 [both mouthing] Shadow Lake? 152 00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,113 - Hey, buddy. - Hey. 153 00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:30,366 So question, why did you hire someone to do my job? 154 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:34,078 Oh. Damon's an unpaid intern. Actually, it was his idea. 155 00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:37,623 We met at Hollywood Harold's estate sale, got to talking. 156 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,250 I thought you'd make a great team. 157 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:42,336 There's no I in "team," and that's the problem. 158 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,338 - I work alone. - It's a busy time. 159 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,465 Free help is free help. 160 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:48,926 I know Damon has good taste because I have good taste. 161 00:07:49,010 --> 00:07:52,096 We were both bidding on Hollywood Harold's vintage horror collection. 162 00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,474 - Damon's a horror expert. - No, I am. 163 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,852 I'm an expert in all things cinema, even movies Kevin Hart tries to hide. 164 00:07:57,935 --> 00:08:02,482 Harold's Estate has original film print of Freddy vs. Jason, non-canonical, 165 00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,150 not even in theaters. 166 00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:07,320 - You guys haven't seen it. - I've seen it. 167 00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:08,683 - Oh, you have? - [Carlos] Mm-hm. 168 00:08:10,781 --> 00:08:12,101 [whispering] Of course I haven't. 169 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,951 Those twins are so annoying, 170 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:16,913 but I'm really glad Timmy is insisting we take the high road. 171 00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,080 [Hannah] Mm. 172 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,544 Oh, those dick twins! 173 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:24,670 [groans] 174 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,130 Awesome. 175 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,965 It's side-boob. Calm down. 176 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:31,135 Do you want me to...? 177 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,473 What do they even get out of that? 178 00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,642 Screw the high road. Game on. 179 00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:40,520 - We are pranking those dicks back. - Wait, what? 180 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,355 It's Johnny Rastrelli all over again. 181 00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:43,606 A new pizza arcade? 182 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,775 No. My childhood nemesis. 183 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:48,027 Johnny Rastrelli would mess with me constantly. 184 00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:49,529 My mom never let me retaliate. 185 00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:52,615 Now I'm supposed to sit back and watch him run for Senate? 186 00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:53,699 I don't think so! 187 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:57,119 - I'll kill you. - You liked that we weren't pranking back, 188 00:08:57,203 --> 00:09:00,081 so we probably shouldn't prank back, right? 189 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:01,874 Because that's what you said. 190 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,378 Connie, it's the most obvious answer. 191 00:09:05,461 --> 00:09:08,506 The most obvious answer is it's always the husband. 192 00:09:08,589 --> 00:09:12,218 Okay, fine. But the second most obvious answer, serial killer. 193 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,303 Let's do a little digging. 194 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,722 A little Dateline sleuthing of our own? 195 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,724 Always thought I'd be a great Lester Holt. 196 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,143 Then I'm Keith Morrison. Hannah! 197 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:24,981 Han, Han, Han. Quick question. What's your favorite lunch place? 198 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,817 What's the deal with Shadow Lake? Have a place? Rent a place? 199 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,444 How are the inroads, outroads? Dish, girl. 200 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,530 In answer to your first question, 201 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:35,449 this mom-and-pop shop near my house called Jersey Mike's. 202 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:36,659 Oh! Mm. 203 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:40,246 And second, we lived there. You can see it in this picture. 204 00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:43,791 - Your mom was so tall. Was she a model? - She was, 5'9". 205 00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,711 Not tall enough for runway. But imagine if she had IG. 206 00:09:46,794 --> 00:09:47,794 [man] Excuse me. 207 00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:49,505 I'll get it. 208 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:54,093 - There's a lot of similarities, but... - Look. 209 00:09:54,176 --> 00:09:56,262 This lanky ginger's holding a book. 210 00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:59,265 All the Shadow Lake Slayer's victims were reading when they died. 211 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:02,268 That's why they almost called him the Shadow Lake Librarian. 212 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:05,104 Do you watch it over lunch? Oh! 213 00:10:05,187 --> 00:10:08,357 How about water balloons? Classic yet effective. 214 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:12,069 How about instead of water, we fill them with rancid mustard? 215 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,322 I know a breakroom fridge that's lousy with it. 216 00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:18,034 I'm gonna piggyback off your piggyback. We sell cop costumes. 217 00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:19,827 We pose as police officers, 218 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,455 tell them their parents got into a terrible accident. 219 00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:23,539 Ho, ho, ho! 220 00:10:24,081 --> 00:10:25,708 Maybe we draw the line at felonies. 221 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,335 [Percy] Oh, look who's here. 222 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:30,046 It's the hall monitor here to "bust things up." 223 00:10:30,129 --> 00:10:32,590 Where's your little sash, hall monitor? 224 00:10:32,673 --> 00:10:34,592 I'm not a hall monitor anymore. 225 00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,218 I mean, ever, now. 226 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:39,513 Ooh! I was in the PTA with a dad who builds paintball guns. 227 00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:43,059 We have to think Michelle Obama. What would Shelly O do? 228 00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:47,313 Never called herself that. Anyway, how much mustard are we packing? 229 00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:48,481 Everything we got. 230 00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:50,941 Mustard instead of water? That's genius. 231 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,526 No. High road. 232 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,820 As fun as that sounds, I have to be responsible. 233 00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,364 Don't wanna get written up. 234 00:10:57,239 --> 00:11:00,242 That's from the hall monitor thing from before. 235 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:03,037 We'll make sure none of it gets traced to you. 236 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,039 Put your sash on, look official. 237 00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,918 Great. That's exactly what I wanted. 238 00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:11,212 [sighs] 239 00:11:18,552 --> 00:11:21,097 You consider yourself a horror movie expert? 240 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,474 Oh, yeah, I'm an expert. 241 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:26,519 - What's the first horror movie ever made? - The House of the Devil. 242 00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,145 Ha! Wrong. The Devil's Manor. 243 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,939 If it's the American translation. 244 00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:32,858 - Name of the demon from The Exorcist? - Pazuzu. Everybody knows. 245 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,152 Right. Obviously, duh. I knew that too. 246 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,988 Well, I got a birthday Cameo from the guy that played Jigsaw. 247 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:41,117 No way. Hey, Neve Campbell spilled milk on me. 248 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,036 I met an actual Slenderman. Yeah. 249 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,665 Wait until you see my Halloween costume. It's not gonna suck. 250 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:49,874 Just a little... 251 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,795 [Timmy] Uh-huh. 252 00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:56,298 Ma, I can't be your date to your retirement home's Halloween party. 253 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,384 My store is gonna be packed today. 254 00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:01,345 Sorry, retirement resort. 255 00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:04,974 Yeah. Yes, I know. I was a very difficult birth. 256 00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:07,476 Oh, no. 257 00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:09,228 Uh... 258 00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:10,813 Those dick twins. 259 00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:13,691 Uh, I'll call you back. 260 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:31,250 How much for the ice cream fridge, without ice cream? 261 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:32,334 It's not for sale. 262 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,295 - What about with ice cream? - Not for sale. 263 00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:37,339 This has been and continues to be a video rental store. 264 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,592 - How much to rent ice cream? - Leave. 265 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,555 Okay, new store policy. When they go low, we go lower. 266 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:46,891 - It's a limbo contest now. - Stand down. 267 00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:49,810 Me and Percy are on it. we'll take the sign down. 268 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:53,147 The damage is already done to the store and doughnuts. 269 00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:55,441 Well, I'm already stuffed. 270 00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:58,819 Aaron found that breakfast sandwich truck that doesn't post its location. 271 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,988 - The Bermuda Truck-Angle? - Yeah. 272 00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:04,366 Wow, what a man. What a mighty good man. 273 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,995 I don't think Salt-N-Pepa is writing songs about him yet, 274 00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:11,081 but he has been trying since we got back together. 275 00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,166 Mm. 276 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,877 Dinosaur with glasses? 277 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,170 Clever girl. 278 00:13:16,253 --> 00:13:18,714 Jurassic Park. You got it. Don't tell me. 279 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:23,010 - Uh, Greatest Showman? - I'm clearly Murphy Brown. 280 00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:26,931 I'm gonna go smear butter on my hand, try to get this off. 281 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,267 Jennifer Coolidge is better than this. 282 00:13:32,019 --> 00:13:33,437 [screams] 283 00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:36,315 Why is it so warm? 284 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:40,569 Why is it so warm? 285 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,156 That does it. 286 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,492 This is my house and I will defend it. 287 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,286 Come on. 288 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,873 Is your costume from a vampire throuple movie? 289 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:53,791 Twilight? 290 00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:56,001 Hurtful. No, it's Dracula. 291 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:59,797 Most people go the 1931 version and Lugosi's a genius, obvi. 292 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:04,969 But this is the little seen 1979 version. It's pretty niche stuff. 293 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,887 - [hisses] - Oh, God. 294 00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:08,931 Scary, right? 295 00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,350 I guess it's not so niche. 296 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:25,691 [Hannah] Think he's trying to Single White Female you? 297 00:14:25,739 --> 00:14:28,367 I mean Single Brown Male you? I didn't mean to whitewash. 298 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:31,954 I worked too hard on this costume for this freak to copy it. 299 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,914 Freak in, like, a hot way? 300 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:38,752 Hot? Maybe in like a Tim Burton, Jack Skellington sort of way. 301 00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,838 Skellington had legs for days. 302 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:41,797 Not the time. 303 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,132 Look at us. 304 00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,384 We're identical twins, right? 305 00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:46,594 [both chuckling] 306 00:14:49,179 --> 00:14:50,180 [hisses] 307 00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:54,393 I know the map is of Raging Waters, but it's crystal clear. 308 00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:57,438 I'm so glad Hannah's mom has us to solve her case. 309 00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,023 What is this? Who cares? 310 00:14:59,106 --> 00:15:01,775 I'm going full-prank John Wick on those twins. 311 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:02,859 - Cool. - Okay. 312 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,111 It is cool. 313 00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:06,196 I am not staying out of the fray. 314 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,366 I know how to save a life because I am The Fray. 315 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,119 The band, The Fray. 316 00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,955 Come on, watch one episode of Grey's Anatomy. 317 00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,332 I'm going into Carol's store 318 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:19,585 to plant stink bombs in the twins' backpacks. 319 00:15:19,668 --> 00:15:23,255 - Show Eliza and Percy how it's done. - That's a terrible plan. 320 00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,592 The twins are expecting retaliation and they're watching the doors. 321 00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:29,678 I'm going in through the roof. Carol has a skylight. 322 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,096 Come on, let's go. 323 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:37,561 He keeps stink bombs in his office? 324 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:41,440 Preston, I'm telling you. It's got thrills, chills, 325 00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:44,610 and the highest concentration of Wayans outside of their mom's house. 326 00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:47,905 - Scary Movie 2. - You know what I think you'd like more. 327 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:51,158 - Ooh. Scary Movie 4. - Ha. You just picked a higher number. 328 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:54,828 - That has no Wayans in it. - Shaquille O'Neal and Dr. Phil. 329 00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:59,041 - And characters inspired by the Wayans? - Yeah. 330 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:00,542 - This seems good. - Right? 331 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,252 My guy. 332 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,338 - Yo! Yes! - Want some free popcorn? 333 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,636 Hey, so is Timmy okay? 334 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:13,389 Seems like the stress of the store's really getting to him. 335 00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:15,933 Something is definitely getting to him. 336 00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:17,142 Hmm. 337 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,437 - Were you an Eagle Scout? - Yeah. 338 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:24,608 Up until our scoutmaster got fired for turning us into cocaine hippos. 339 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,486 - Yikes. I could tell. - Oh, yeah, he was a trip. 340 00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:31,865 It's a hell of a balloon knot. Working together is kind of nice. 341 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:35,703 If I can't hang with my boy Tim, you make a decent bench player. 342 00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:38,080 - Thank you. - Normally when I'm with you 343 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:41,000 it's like all the bad parts about being married. 344 00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,461 - But this has been fun. - I got it. 345 00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:48,340 Ooh, ooh. There they are. Revenge is ours. 346 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,175 - Revenge is ours. - Let's go. 347 00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:53,137 Ugh. Why did I wear heels? 348 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:56,181 Stop jiggling those. You look like a perv. 349 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,891 [dramatic music playing] 350 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:11,822 [grunting] 351 00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:17,870 Ow! 352 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:20,414 - [alarm ringing] - [Carol] What the hell just happened? 353 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,041 Help! 354 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,544 [both] Ooh! 355 00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:26,795 [groans] 356 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:30,132 ["Rock the Boat" playing over speaker] 357 00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:32,634 - ♪ Rock the boat ♪ - ♪ Don't tip the boat over ♪ 358 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,179 - ♪ Rock the boat ♪ - ♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪ 359 00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:37,306 ♪ Rock the boat ♪ 360 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,142 Hey. 361 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:44,605 Just cleaning myself after falling through a skylight. 362 00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:47,399 You know, normal stuff. Please tell me Carol... 363 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,235 She just reaggravated an old hunting injury. 364 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,071 She says she's totally fine. 365 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:53,989 She's drunk, but I believe her. 366 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,449 I should've stayed out of it, 367 00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:59,036 but I couldn't let those jerks keep getting the best of us. 368 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,204 I'm so stupid. 369 00:18:00,287 --> 00:18:03,874 So stupid. This easily makes your top five dumb things. 370 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:07,044 In high school you sunburned the Grateful Dead bear on your forehead. 371 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,046 - I stand by that decision. - [chuckles] 372 00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:14,176 So I told Carol that the twins crashed the skylight. 373 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:18,180 She's sending those little buttholes to reform school. Last laugh. 374 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:19,640 What did you do? 375 00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,601 Well, if friends can't depend on each other for revenge, 376 00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:23,685 what's the point? 377 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:27,189 Plus, you can't have blood on your hands. You're the boss. 378 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:28,982 Thanks. 379 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,066 Yeah. 380 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:33,904 [sighs] 381 00:18:33,987 --> 00:18:35,155 [scanner beeping] 382 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:36,657 Hey. 383 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,117 [ominous music playing] 384 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:51,505 - What the hell is your problem? - Oh. Well, I'm allergic to tree nuts. 385 00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:54,424 Gluten wrecks me. The sun and are not friends... 386 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,301 No, you keep stealing my customers, 387 00:18:56,385 --> 00:19:00,055 jacked my Halloween costume, and try to out movie knowledge me. 388 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,139 Why? 389 00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,977 Well, because I like you. 390 00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:10,149 So that was you flirting? 391 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:13,902 I guess I'm good with movies but not so good with boys. 392 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,072 I wouldn't say that. You do have a David Arquette in Scream appeal. 393 00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,291 Wait. I know we're making out in the closet, 394 00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:30,544 but I'm not in the closet. Openly bisexual and proud. 395 00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:34,047 Just so you know, I don't mind we're in a confined space. 396 00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:37,050 Claustrophiliac, population me. 397 00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:39,219 Mm. Okay. 398 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,097 We can't tell Hannah the truth. 399 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,558 Why not? It's what Dateline's all about. 400 00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:47,978 Delivering terrible news under the guise of helping the family find peace. 401 00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:50,230 What if she wants to devote her life to revenge? 402 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:53,358 You think the girl who paints her fingernails with dinosaur stickers 403 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:56,612 - has the follow-through for revenge? - She might. 404 00:19:56,695 --> 00:20:01,700 Come on. Hannah, there's something we need to tell you about your mom. 405 00:20:01,783 --> 00:20:04,578 - No, but before you do, you need to... - Ew. Gross. 406 00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:08,707 My mom hated reading. She always said movies were faster. 407 00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:12,377 - In this photo she's holding a book. - Grandma got it for her. 408 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:15,047 She was going to throw it in the lake. 409 00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,298 She hated reading. 410 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:18,091 - Hated, hated, hated. - Got it. 411 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,428 Then we have nothing else to say. 412 00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:23,347 Thanks for this, Connie. 413 00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:25,974 It's nice to feel so close to my mom. 414 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,142 Happy to help. 415 00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:31,688 That was almost really bad. 416 00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:34,274 Almost really bad is the story of my life. 417 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:38,362 But, hey, even though Hannah's mom didn't get murdered, 418 00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:41,615 at least she got the spirit of Día de los Muertos. 419 00:20:41,698 --> 00:20:44,910 And she left her a note. 420 00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:47,079 "Hi, Mom, it's Hannah. 421 00:20:47,162 --> 00:20:48,956 Love you and miss you. 422 00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,707 Should I get bangs? 423 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,334 Circle 'yes' or 'no.'" 424 00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,879 We're telling her no, right? 425 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,589 Hannah can't have bangs. 426 00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,299 Her face is like a hexagon. 427 00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,764 Hey, man. I am so sorry about all this. 428 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:09,101 I know you're responsible for the damage, but I'll take care of it. 429 00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:11,019 It's fine. I got it covered. 430 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,354 No, it's my fault. 431 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:15,274 Not sure how I'm gonna come up with the money. 432 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:18,986 Store didn't do as well as I expected, but I'll figure it out. 433 00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:21,822 Are rare Pogs worth anything now or is it like Beanie Babies? 434 00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:24,950 Stop, Tim. I got you. That's what friends are for. 435 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:26,493 Thanks, Perc. 436 00:21:26,576 --> 00:21:30,372 [sighs] Sorry, I've been so off my game the past few weeks. 437 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:34,501 I feel like I missed my window with Eliza whether it was open or not. 438 00:21:34,584 --> 00:21:37,546 It's frustrating 'cause I've liked her for so long. 439 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,798 You need to forget about Eliza. 440 00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:42,884 - She is messing up your life. - But she's great. 441 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:45,178 You had so much fun with her today. 442 00:21:45,262 --> 00:21:46,262 She's fine at best. 443 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:49,266 I was hanging with her because she was down to mess with the twins 444 00:21:49,349 --> 00:21:51,560 when my boy wasn't there, as usual. 445 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,729 We haven't kicked it much lately. 446 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:54,646 We haven't. 447 00:21:54,730 --> 00:21:58,400 My parents are pissed too 'cause I haven't visited enough since I took over. 448 00:21:58,483 --> 00:21:59,483 Yeah. 449 00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:01,194 I have a pretty full life. 450 00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:03,739 I don't need Eliza. 451 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,742 What you need is a drink, and another after that. 452 00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:09,619 - Sounds like a night I wanna have. - Give it up. 453 00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:13,749 I wish my parents were alive enough to be pissed at me. 454 00:22:13,832 --> 00:22:15,751 They were always pissed at you. 455 00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:19,880 One more rapid-fire question. What film was your queer awakening? 456 00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:22,257 - Ooh. Rufio in Hook for sure. - Really? 457 00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:25,052 Oh, yeah. Young me wanted to bangarang him. 458 00:22:25,135 --> 00:22:27,095 - You? - Hands down, Addams Family. 459 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,556 - Anjelica Huston and Raul Julia? - Yeah. 460 00:22:29,639 --> 00:22:32,351 I only blinked during Pugsley scenes. And Y Tu Mamá También. 461 00:22:32,434 --> 00:22:33,852 It's straight for 90 minutes. 462 00:22:33,935 --> 00:22:35,812 - Until it's not! Yeah. - Until it's not! 463 00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:41,735 I can't wait to get this costume off. Thank God Halloween is only once a year. 464 00:22:41,818 --> 00:22:44,237 - It doesn't have to be. - Hmm? 465 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,406 I'm part of a group of like-minded individuals 466 00:22:46,490 --> 00:22:49,910 who think that Halloween can and should be year-round. 467 00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:59,544 Hey, I thought we were gonna have a drink. 468 00:22:59,628 --> 00:23:02,547 Just getting the mail. Twins superglued this shut. 469 00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:04,883 No. You don't gotta do that right now. 470 00:23:04,966 --> 00:23:07,552 Let's go to the bar before Mitch starts to reuse glasses. 471 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:14,518 An eviction notice? 472 00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:16,227 What gives, man? 473 00:23:16,269 --> 00:23:19,356 I wasn't supposed to be with you when you found that. 474 00:23:19,439 --> 00:23:22,401 I'm sorry corporate's not giving you money anymore, 475 00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:26,071 but the rent, Tim, the rent. I felt real bad about it. 476 00:23:26,154 --> 00:23:28,907 - That's why I drew a sad face. - I don't get it. 477 00:23:28,990 --> 00:23:30,700 After I rehired Kayla for you 478 00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:33,286 and you were so cool with the damage to Carol's store? 479 00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:34,413 I paid for Kayla. 480 00:23:34,496 --> 00:23:35,914 Insurance paid for the damages. 481 00:23:35,997 --> 00:23:38,917 But I use your rent money to pay for my insurance. 482 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:43,004 I'm sorry, but you have until the end of next month. Just business. 483 00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:47,509 So... still wanna have that drink? 484 00:23:49,386 --> 00:23:50,971 [hip-hop music playing] 485 00:23:54,015 --> 00:23:55,142 Just business. 486 00:23:56,726 --> 00:23:58,437 ♪ Lace bitter Then get 'er ♪ 487 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,606 ♪ Pushin' till I'm on the 100 dollar bill If I'm frank with you ♪ 488 00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:03,108 ♪ But to do that, I gotta leave ♪ 489 00:24:03,191 --> 00:24:05,831 ♪ I've been blowin' with the breeze Now I'm rolling up my sleeves ♪ 490 00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:07,933 ♪ They've been working me hard ♪ 491 00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:10,282 ♪ I've been doing what I can Being perfectly flawed ♪ 492 00:24:10,365 --> 00:24:12,701 ♪ But I'm about to re-wire Till the circuitry spark ♪ 493 00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:15,579 ♪ Can you stay stressed? Unless you got a blank check, not ♪ 494 00:24:15,662 --> 00:24:17,372 ♪ I promise, no longer my diss ♪ 495 00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:20,333 ♪ That got me so far And it stopped the progress ♪ 496 00:24:20,417 --> 00:24:24,254 ♪ So till I see a ship, I'm on the road I already got some motion with the flow ♪ 497 00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:26,631 ♪ I gotta leave Hey, I gotta leave ♪ 498 00:24:26,715 --> 00:24:29,009 - ♪ I gotta leave ♪ - ♪ I gotta go, yo, it's time to go ♪ 499 00:24:29,092 --> 00:24:31,487 - ♪ It's time to go ♪ - ♪ Tell the boss, yeah, I'm movin' on ♪ 500 00:24:31,511 --> 00:24:33,865 - ♪ I'm movin' on ♪ - ♪ 'Cause this progress is kind of slow ♪ 501 00:24:33,889 --> 00:24:34,889 ♪ So slow ♪ 502 00:24:34,931 --> 00:24:37,267 - ♪ You see, I'm waitin' on my ship ♪ - ♪ Keep waitin' ♪ 503 00:24:37,350 --> 00:24:39,519 - ♪ But my ship ain't comin' in ♪ - ♪ Uh-uh ♪ 504 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:41,723 - ♪ Nine to five is not my number ♪ - ♪ No, it's not ♪