1
00:00:01,230 --> 00:00:03,209
- Abigail Baker?
- Here.
2
00:00:03,210 --> 00:00:04,509
Georgie Cooper?
3
00:00:04,510 --> 00:00:05,840
Here.
4
00:00:05,850 --> 00:00:07,480
Sheldon Cooper?
5
00:00:09,420 --> 00:00:11,049
Georgie, where's your brother?
6
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I don't know.
7
00:00:13,390 --> 00:00:15,189
Good enough for me. Melissa Dixon?
8
00:00:15,190 --> 00:00:17,390
♪ ♪
9
00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:26,809
ADULT SHELDON: Since I no
longer had a college class
10
00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:29,940
with Dr. Sturgis to stoke
my intellectual fire,
11
00:00:29,950 --> 00:00:33,079
I needed to find someone
else who was up to the task
12
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,670
of being my mentor.
13
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A great mind.
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A once-in-a-generation thinker.
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Fortunately, my schedule was wide open.
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♪ ♪
17
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[EXHALES]
18
00:00:51,610 --> 00:00:54,279
School's in session.
19
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,210
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
20
00:00:57,220 --> 00:00:59,929
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:02,779
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
22
00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:05,639
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
24
00:01:14,180 --> 00:01:16,479
Pastor Jeff, I just
need your signature...
25
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:17,949
Oh. Uh, sorry.
26
00:01:17,950 --> 00:01:19,650
I didn't realize you had a guest.
27
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:21,459
It's quite all right.
You remember Robin?
28
00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:22,819
Of course.
29
00:01:22,820 --> 00:01:24,659
- So nice to see you again.
- You, too.
30
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,489
- Well, I don't want to interrupt.
- Actually,
31
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I was just fixin' to head out.
32
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:29,890
- Already?
- Yeah.
33
00:01:29,900 --> 00:01:32,499
Discharged my firearm
at a muskrat yesterday.
34
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,200
Lot of paperwork. [CHUCKLES]
35
00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:36,099
See you soon?
36
00:01:36,100 --> 00:01:38,300
- Yes, you will.
- [CHUCKLES]
37
00:01:38,310 --> 00:01:39,870
- Bye, Mrs. Cooper.
- Bye.
38
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,759
That seems to be going well.
39
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,390
It's going really well.
40
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,279
I like her so much.
41
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,910
Why do you sound sad about it?
42
00:01:49,950 --> 00:01:53,250
Well, this is hard
for me to say out loud.
43
00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:00,529
But when I'm around her,
I find myself having...
44
00:02:00,530 --> 00:02:02,259
you know.
45
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:03,900
I don't know.
46
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,209
[WHISPERS]: Man thoughts.
47
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,839
Oh. But... you're the pastor.
48
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,540
You can't act on those.
49
00:02:11,550 --> 00:02:13,139
Hence my sadness.
50
00:02:13,140 --> 00:02:14,569
What are you gonna do?
51
00:02:14,570 --> 00:02:15,739
I'm not sure.
52
00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:17,570
I can't engage in a
physical relationship
53
00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:19,550
outside of holy matrimony.
54
00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:21,829
Right?
55
00:02:21,830 --> 00:02:24,279
- Right.
- Right.
56
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,490
♪ ♪
57
00:02:30,290 --> 00:02:32,080
A solution is a homogenous mixture
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00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:34,219
consisting of a solute and a solvent.
59
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The solute is the substance
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00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:37,699
that is being dissolved...
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00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,900
♪ ♪
62
00:02:41,430 --> 00:02:43,569
A squared plus B squared
63
00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:44,839
equals...?
64
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,040
♪ ♪
65
00:02:50,210 --> 00:02:51,810
[BELL RINGS]
66
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:53,730
Aw.
67
00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:57,249
And Pastor Jeff asked me
68
00:02:57,250 --> 00:03:00,849
to hold him accountable so he
doesn't succumb to temptation.
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Well, how the heck you do that?
70
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:03,889
I'm not sure.
71
00:03:03,890 --> 00:03:07,859
Probably have to give him
the stink eye every so often.
72
00:03:07,860 --> 00:03:10,070
The pastor's been married before.
73
00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,129
Is it really that big a deal?
74
00:03:11,130 --> 00:03:13,990
Yes, George. It states
very clearly in the Bible:
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00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,399
"Among you there must not
be even a hint of...
76
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:18,780
[HUSHED]: sexual...
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00:03:18,790 --> 00:03:20,369
immorality.
78
00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:22,239
That book is a bummer sometimes.
79
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:23,309
It's no joke.
80
00:03:23,310 --> 00:03:24,670
He could lose his job.
81
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:26,140
I guess I just don't get it.
82
00:03:26,150 --> 00:03:28,949
Maybe because you only go to
church when there's a bake sale.
83
00:03:28,950 --> 00:03:30,449
- That's not nice.
- It's true.
84
00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:32,350
Doesn't make it nice.
85
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♪ ♪
86
00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:47,029
Everything all right with Sheldon?
87
00:03:47,030 --> 00:03:48,830
How much time you got?
88
00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,639
- Why?
- Hasn't been in P.E. since Monday.
89
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,969
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
90
00:03:52,970 --> 00:03:54,369
He's here. I drove him.
91
00:03:54,370 --> 00:03:56,970
You check the places
they like to stuff him?
92
00:03:56,980 --> 00:03:59,159
Lockers, trash cans,
93
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,160
those bags we put the footballs in.
94
00:04:01,170 --> 00:04:02,199
Nothing.
95
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,280
- Top of the flagpole?
- Nope.
96
00:04:06,650 --> 00:04:08,619
Hey, Hubert.
97
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:10,280
Was Sheldon in class today?
98
00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:11,989
Nope. Haven't seen him all week.
99
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,820
Weren't you gonna say anything?
100
00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:15,790
I didn't want to jinx it.
101
00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:20,799
So he hasn't been in
any of your classes?
102
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,499
- Mm-mm, not a one.
- Nope.
103
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,139
But I bring him here, I take him home...
104
00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:25,709
he's got to be somewhere
in the building.
105
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:27,850
Mm, I might've seen him in the library.
106
00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:29,459
But at this point, I sometimes think
107
00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:31,409
I see him when I'm alone in my house.
108
00:04:31,410 --> 00:04:33,440
Like that creepy Chucky
doll in the movies?
109
00:04:33,450 --> 00:04:35,510
[LAUGHS]: Exactly!
110
00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,980
[BOTH LAUGHING]
111
00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,909
Hey, Tam. I can't find Sheldon.
112
00:04:42,910 --> 00:04:44,259
You know where he is?
113
00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:46,089
I promised not to say.
114
00:04:46,090 --> 00:04:47,090
Tam...
115
00:04:47,091 --> 00:04:49,190
Lucky for you I'm weak.
116
00:04:50,730 --> 00:04:51,759
Are you kidding me?
117
00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,729
I knew Tam was weak.
118
00:04:53,730 --> 00:04:55,169
What do you think you're doing?
119
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,429
Exploring the impact
of the French invasion
120
00:04:57,430 --> 00:04:59,420
on Imperial Russian society.
121
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,279
Well, get out of here.
122
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,530
You're going back to class.
123
00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:03,609
No, I'm not.
124
00:05:03,610 --> 00:05:05,239
Excuse me?
125
00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,029
I don't learn anything in class.
126
00:05:07,030 --> 00:05:08,979
But in here I've taught
myself the applications
127
00:05:08,980 --> 00:05:10,639
of gravitational lensing,
128
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,560
Faraday's law of magnetic induction,
129
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:13,819
and how to whistle.
130
00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:15,019
[BLOWS AIR]
131
00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:17,119
Well, sound came out yesterday.
132
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,489
Y-You can't spend your
day in a broom closet.
133
00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:21,409
It's no longer a broom closet.
134
00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:24,300
It's now a citadel of higher learning.
135
00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:34,509
Which one says "Robin, I like you"
136
00:05:34,510 --> 00:05:36,839
but also says "God is watching,
137
00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,009
[WHISPERS]: be cool"?
138
00:05:38,010 --> 00:05:39,699
- The blue one.
- [INTERCOM BEEPS]
139
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,069
PEG: Mary, your husband's on the line.
140
00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:44,210
- Excuse me.
- Yeah, blue.
141
00:05:44,220 --> 00:05:46,599
Definitely blue.
142
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:47,869
Although...
143
00:05:47,870 --> 00:05:49,029
Everything okay?
144
00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:50,850
Sheldon locked himself
in a broom closet,
145
00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:52,819
and he's refusing to go to class.
146
00:05:52,820 --> 00:05:54,400
What's he doing in a closet?
147
00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:55,939
Apparently, learning about Russia.
148
00:05:55,940 --> 00:05:56,979
[SIGHS]: Well,
149
00:05:56,980 --> 00:05:58,219
what do you want me to do?
150
00:05:58,220 --> 00:05:59,350
I want you to handle it.
151
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,420
You're right there...
why can't you handle it?
152
00:06:01,430 --> 00:06:03,999
- 'Cause I'm at work.
- So am I.
153
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,239
You know what I mean.
154
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,179
That you have a real job and I don't?
155
00:06:07,180 --> 00:06:10,049
Mary, I have football practice
in ten minutes, and I...
156
00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:11,979
I don't have time to deal with this.
157
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:14,910
Well, you're gonna have
to, 'cause I'm busy.
158
00:06:16,050 --> 00:06:18,549
You tell him, sister.
159
00:06:18,550 --> 00:06:21,120
The bolo tie's too sexy, right?
160
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,160
Knew it.
161
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:27,540
Hope you're happy... your
mother and I are fighting now!
162
00:06:30,830 --> 00:06:34,769
There's a closet, it...
My son made a citadel.
163
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,430
Never mind.
164
00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:41,050
- Sheldon, go to your room.
- Gladly.
165
00:06:41,060 --> 00:06:42,510
He's just gonna read in there.
166
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,019
I'd take away Professor Proton.
167
00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,960
Stay out of this.
168
00:06:46,790 --> 00:06:48,559
No more Professor Proton!
169
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:49,699
SHELDON: Aw.
170
00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,020
That's how you do it.
171
00:06:51,030 --> 00:06:53,320
I can't believe you didn't
make him go to class.
172
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,169
You told me to handle it; I handled it.
173
00:06:55,170 --> 00:06:56,569
That one's on you.
174
00:06:56,570 --> 00:06:59,190
You didn't handle it. You
didn't do anything.
175
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,659
I had to get to practice,
and I made a decision.
176
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:04,709
He was in the building, he
was safe, and he was learning.
177
00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:07,399
He is never gonna
improve his social skills
178
00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:08,549
if he's sitting all alone.
179
00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:09,979
He has to be around people.
180
00:07:09,980 --> 00:07:11,980
Sounds like you know what
he needs... go fix it.
181
00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:14,449
'Cause I have to do everything, right?
182
00:07:14,450 --> 00:07:17,069
Oh. Someone's sleeping
on the couch tonight.
183
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,659
Get out of here!
184
00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:20,309
MEEMAW: Well, maybe Shel is
185
00:07:20,310 --> 00:07:21,319
just acting out
186
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:22,759
'cause he doesn't have his college class
187
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,129
to go to anymore.
188
00:07:24,130 --> 00:07:26,319
I could ask John's professor friend.
189
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,270
Maybe he'd let him sit in on a class.
190
00:07:28,370 --> 00:07:30,469
And you are just bringing this up now?
191
00:07:30,470 --> 00:07:31,859
I would've said something earlier,
192
00:07:31,860 --> 00:07:33,930
but I was enjoying the fight. [CHUCKLES]
193
00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:38,310
[PHONE RINGING]
194
00:07:39,430 --> 00:07:40,659
Hello?
195
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:41,829
Hi, Dr. Linkletter.
196
00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:43,969
- It's Connie Tucker.
- Connie.
197
00:07:43,970 --> 00:07:45,709
To what do I owe the pleasure?
198
00:07:45,710 --> 00:07:48,029
- I need a favor.
- Of course. Anything.
199
00:07:48,030 --> 00:07:49,639
Should we discuss it over dinner?
200
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:50,970
I'll take a rain check on that.
201
00:07:50,980 --> 00:07:52,939
I was hoping
202
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:56,479
that my grandson could
join in your physics class
203
00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,549
until John is, uh...
204
00:07:58,550 --> 00:07:59,610
back.
205
00:07:59,620 --> 00:08:01,219
From the mental hospital?
206
00:08:01,220 --> 00:08:02,639
Yes.
207
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,350
The one he never told
you he'd been in before?
208
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,059
Yes.
209
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:09,520
A curious ethical choice
on his part, if you ask me.
210
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,359
Can he take the class or not?
211
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,490
Of course.
212
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,950
Although, I never taught a child before.
213
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,830
Is he potty-trained?
214
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,600
[CHUCKLING]
215
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,639
What are you doing?
216
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,639
Watching last week's Professor
Proton in my mind.
217
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,159
MEEMAW [CALLS]: Moon Pie?
218
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,229
[GASPS]
219
00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:33,079
Good news. You could start going
220
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,649
to your college class again.
221
00:08:34,650 --> 00:08:36,160
Dr. Sturgis is back?
222
00:08:36,180 --> 00:08:39,099
No, but his friend Dr. Linkletter
223
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,089
is gonna let you come
and take his class.
224
00:08:41,090 --> 00:08:43,209
But I take Dr. Sturgis's class.
225
00:08:43,210 --> 00:08:44,679
I know, but that's not an option
226
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,530
right now, and Dr. Linkletter's
been nice enough to...
227
00:08:47,540 --> 00:08:49,639
to let you sit in on his.
228
00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,819
But I like the way that
Dr. Sturgis teaches.
229
00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:53,089
Well, you might like the way
230
00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:55,459
that Dr. Linkletter teaches even better.
231
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:57,459
- Is it lecture-based?
- I don't know.
232
00:08:57,460 --> 00:08:59,630
What's his interpretation
of quantum mechanics?
233
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,720
I couldn't say. Where'd
he get his doctorate?
234
00:09:01,730 --> 00:09:04,629
From the University of
Shut Up and Say Thank You.
235
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:06,270
Thank you.
236
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:13,780
I thought you were gonna
take out the garbage.
237
00:09:13,790 --> 00:09:15,939
I'm sorry. I was under the impression
238
00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:17,679
you did everything around here.
239
00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:20,079
You really want to start this again?
240
00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,379
I contribute plenty,
241
00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:24,549
and it wouldn't kill you to
show a little appreciation.
242
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:27,950
I'll be sure to do
that... as soon as I finish
243
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,850
the laundry, the dishes, the vacuuming,
244
00:09:30,860 --> 00:09:33,859
the grocery shopping and
helping Missy with her homework.
245
00:09:33,860 --> 00:09:36,099
You like how my job pays
for all the bills, right?
246
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,560
Stop acting like you're
the only one with a job.
247
00:09:38,570 --> 00:09:41,129
GEORGE JR.: Mom! Pastor
Jeff's on the phone.
248
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:42,409
I have to take this.
249
00:09:42,410 --> 00:09:44,269
'Course you do.
250
00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:46,240
Hi, Pastor Jeff.
251
00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:49,219
- Everything okay?
- [DOOR OPENS]
252
00:09:49,220 --> 00:09:50,789
JEFF: I'm in trouble.
253
00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:52,619
Robin just got here.
254
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:55,559
She looks nice, and
she smells even nicer.
255
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:56,799
Come on, now.
256
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,609
Uh, nothing smells better
than eternal salvation.
257
00:09:59,610 --> 00:10:01,450
I know. But we put so much thought
258
00:10:01,460 --> 00:10:02,919
into my clothes, we didn't even think
259
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,509
about what she'd be wearing.
260
00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:05,690
GEORGE JR.: Why?
261
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,959
What's she wearing?
262
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:10,160
Georgie, you hang up
that phone right now!
263
00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:16,369
I mean, I-I just can't
win. When I step in,
264
00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:19,380
I'm doing it wrong, and when I
don't step in, she yells at me.
265
00:10:19,390 --> 00:10:20,549
I hear you.
266
00:10:20,550 --> 00:10:22,689
So Darlene does the same thing with you?
267
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,519
No. But I'd hate it if she did.
268
00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:25,720
That sounds awful.
269
00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:28,690
So, what do you two fight about?
270
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,529
You know, normal stuff.
271
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,599
Who loves the other one more.
272
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,929
Whose turn it is for a foot rub.
273
00:10:34,930 --> 00:10:37,069
Oh, the other day, we did argue
274
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,139
about which way the
toilet paper should hang.
275
00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:40,669
Who won?
276
00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:41,839
I don't remember.
277
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,960
We just ended up making
love on the bathroom floor.
278
00:10:45,090 --> 00:10:46,159
Thank you, Wayne.
279
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:47,260
This has been real helpful.
280
00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:49,949
When was the last time
281
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,819
you took Mary out on a date?
282
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,289
I couldn't even tell you.
283
00:10:55,290 --> 00:10:57,689
- Mm. That poor woman.
- Hey.
284
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,559
You're supposed to be on my side.
285
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:00,789
I'd like to be.
286
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:04,230
[CHUCKLES]: But you're not
giving me much to work with.
287
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,870
Hey.
288
00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:25,649
[EXHALES]
289
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,800
Smells like you had a good time.
290
00:11:28,050 --> 00:11:31,059
[SIGHS]
291
00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:33,609
How'd you like to go
out for dinner on Friday?
292
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:35,030
Just you and me.
293
00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:37,299
Why?
294
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:39,199
'Cause you're my wife.
295
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:41,869
I was your wife last Friday,
and we didn't go to dinner.
296
00:11:41,870 --> 00:11:43,860
Mary, I'm asking you on a date.
297
00:11:45,410 --> 00:11:47,409
Okay.
298
00:11:47,410 --> 00:11:49,240
[CHUCKLES] Is that a yes?
299
00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:51,910
Sure.
300
00:11:52,950 --> 00:11:55,810
All right, then.
301
00:11:55,820 --> 00:11:58,340
If you did something
stupid, I'm gonna find out.
302
00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:05,949
Same room. Different teacher.
303
00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:07,459
Same night.
304
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:08,890
Different time.
305
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:11,059
This is a real roller coaster.
306
00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:12,829
- Yeah, it's wild.
- LINKLETTER: Connie.
307
00:12:12,830 --> 00:12:14,099
So nice to see you.
308
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,859
Nice to see you, too. Sheldon,
309
00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:18,700
- this is Dr. Linkletter.
- Hello.
310
00:12:18,710 --> 00:12:20,239
I've heard so much about you.
311
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:23,039
Apparently not how I
feel about shaking hands.
312
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,779
And on that fun note,
I'll leave you to it.
313
00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:27,749
Are you sure you wouldn't
like to stay for the lecture?
314
00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:29,110
Oh, no, bad idea.
315
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:30,510
I'm told I snore.
316
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,779
Darling, I'll be out in the hall
317
00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:33,340
if you need me.
318
00:12:33,620 --> 00:12:36,610
Mm. Just a warning:
319
00:12:36,620 --> 00:12:38,759
today's lecture is rather advanced.
320
00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:40,320
Don't worry. If you get confused,
321
00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:42,190
I'll be right here in the front row.
322
00:12:45,330 --> 00:12:47,529
[SMACKS LIPS]
323
00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:49,530
So, this is nice, huh?
324
00:12:49,540 --> 00:12:51,740
Yes.
325
00:12:56,010 --> 00:12:58,680
[SIGHS]
326
00:13:01,550 --> 00:13:03,300
Lemon in the water.
327
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:08,589
It's weird to look at a
menu and not have to wonder
328
00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:10,489
- what Sheldon won't eat.
- [CHUCKLES]
329
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:14,959
I-It got easier when he
printed that card for my wallet.
330
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,099
Still don't know where
he got that laminated.
331
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:19,699
Yeah.
332
00:13:19,700 --> 00:13:20,969
It's just the two of us.
333
00:13:20,970 --> 00:13:22,520
We don't have to talk about the kids.
334
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,970
You're right.
335
00:13:26,770 --> 00:13:30,040
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
336
00:13:31,010 --> 00:13:33,009
You don't think Georgie and Missy
337
00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:34,680
are doing anything stupid, do you?
338
00:13:35,850 --> 00:13:38,249
If Mom knew this was in the house,
339
00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,119
- she'd lose her mind.
- I know.
340
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,019
Mom does not like demons.
341
00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:43,810
So, how does it work?
342
00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:45,789
You put your fingertips on it like this,
343
00:13:45,790 --> 00:13:47,079
and you ask it questions.
344
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:48,859
Then the spirits from beyond
345
00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:51,360
will move you around the
board and answer them.
346
00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:53,029
Whoa.
347
00:13:53,030 --> 00:13:54,330
Let's try it.
348
00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:57,270
Okay.
349
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,069
Pastor Jeff talked about
these in Sunday school.
350
00:14:06,070 --> 00:14:09,360
[WHISPERS]: He called them
Satan's Monopoly board.
351
00:14:09,550 --> 00:14:11,120
Come on.
352
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,020
[EXHALES]
353
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:16,689
[PHONE RINGING]
354
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:17,920
I'll get it.
355
00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:22,060
Hello?
356
00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:25,009
It's Pastor Jeff. What do I do?
357
00:14:25,010 --> 00:14:26,770
See what he wants.
358
00:14:27,570 --> 00:14:29,259
What do you want?
359
00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:31,259
Um, is your mom home?
360
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:32,540
No, she went out with my dad.
361
00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:34,260
- It's just me and Georgie.
- JEFF: Oh.
362
00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:35,570
Okay.
363
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:38,509
Well, I hope you two
are behaving yourselves.
364
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:41,579
We are. We're just watching TV.
365
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,550
Okay, bye.
366
00:14:43,570 --> 00:14:44,779
[DIAL TONE SOUNDS]
367
00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:46,149
I just lied to a pastor.
368
00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:48,440
- So?
- So I'm going to hell!
369
00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:50,569
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am!
370
00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:52,400
Sucks for you.
371
00:14:53,470 --> 00:14:54,609
So then we're able to take
372
00:14:54,610 --> 00:14:55,629
the ends of the strings
373
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:57,779
and connect them to a
ten-dimensional membrane.
374
00:14:57,780 --> 00:14:59,479
Yes, Sheldon.
375
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:00,779
Dr. Sturgis taught us
376
00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:02,169
that if you leave the strings open,
377
00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:04,299
it allows far more possibilities.
378
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,099
We don't believe you
need open strings anymore.
379
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:09,559
That's an older model
of thinking. Now...
380
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,059
Yes, Sheldon.
381
00:15:11,060 --> 00:15:12,509
Just because something is older
382
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:14,430
doesn't mean that it's not still good.
383
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,739
Original Star Trek is
older than Next Generation,
384
00:15:16,740 --> 00:15:19,339
but if you think that Mr.
Data is better than Mr. Spock,
385
00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:20,969
you don't know what
you're talking about.
386
00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:22,670
I don't know what you're talking about.
387
00:15:30,110 --> 00:15:32,310
Sorry you're not having a good time.
388
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,179
No, I am.
389
00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:36,650
This is lovely.
390
00:15:37,990 --> 00:15:40,420
But can I ask what prompted it?
391
00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:43,409
Well...
392
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,409
Wayne and I were discussing marriage,
393
00:15:45,410 --> 00:15:47,929
and he was going on
about how happy he is.
394
00:15:47,930 --> 00:15:50,970
I just wanted to try to work on ours.
395
00:15:52,470 --> 00:15:55,390
That's really sweet, George.
396
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,809
So they go on dinner dates like this?
397
00:15:58,810 --> 00:16:00,279
Oh, they do all kinds of stuff.
398
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:02,509
Line dancing and movie night.
399
00:16:02,510 --> 00:16:05,479
You wouldn't believe what they
got up to in their bathroom.
400
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:06,949
Where do they find the time?
401
00:16:06,950 --> 00:16:08,279
[LAUGHS]: Well...
402
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,389
Well, they don't have any kids, so...
403
00:16:11,390 --> 00:16:14,159
Son of a bitch. They don't have kids.
404
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,659
That's why they're happy.
405
00:16:15,660 --> 00:16:17,159
- George.
- It's true.
406
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,529
You and I used to be way more fun.
407
00:16:19,530 --> 00:16:22,089
That may be so, but you
can't blame the children.
408
00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:23,939
[CHUCKLES]: Oh, I can, and I am.
409
00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:25,979
Don't get me wrong.
They're great. I love them.
410
00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:29,469
But you got to admit that they
do not make our lives easy.
411
00:16:29,470 --> 00:16:31,109
[SCOFFS]
412
00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:33,309
I suppose there's a...
413
00:16:33,310 --> 00:16:35,609
challenging aspect to them.
414
00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:37,749
There you go. See?
415
00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:40,649
Feels good to say it out loud, right?
416
00:16:40,650 --> 00:16:42,280
Maybe a little.
417
00:16:42,290 --> 00:16:44,049
[CHUCKLES] Hey.
418
00:16:44,050 --> 00:16:45,889
Think about how clean the house would be
419
00:16:45,890 --> 00:16:47,350
if it was just us.
420
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,989
Oh, my.
421
00:16:48,990 --> 00:16:50,900
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
422
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:55,460
So, what did they do in the bathroom?
423
00:16:57,940 --> 00:17:00,049
I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell.
424
00:17:00,050 --> 00:17:02,250
Relax. Not until you're dead.
425
00:17:03,270 --> 00:17:05,030
You smell really nice.
426
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:06,149
[CHUCKLES]
427
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:07,839
Thank you.
428
00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,539
It's soap.
429
00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:11,980
I love soap.
430
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:17,490
[PHONE RINGING]
431
00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:18,860
I'll get it.
432
00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:20,890
Hello?
433
00:17:20,900 --> 00:17:21,940
MISSY: I lied to you.
434
00:17:21,950 --> 00:17:23,009
I wasn't watching TV.
435
00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:24,949
I was playing with a Ouija board.
436
00:17:24,950 --> 00:17:26,759
- Uh, who is this?
- Missy Cooper,
437
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,259
and I'm going to hell.
438
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:30,559
Uh, Missy, you're-you're
not gonna go to hell.
439
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:31,629
Yes, I am.
440
00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:33,079
God knows what I did.
441
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:35,300
He sees everything.
442
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,169
You're right.
443
00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:42,039
God does see everything.
444
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,199
But He also just saw
you be a good Christian
445
00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:45,839
and tell the truth.
446
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:49,109
So I promise, your soul is safe.
447
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,919
- You're sure?
- I'm sure.
448
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:52,920
If you're lying, you're
going to hell, too.
449
00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:54,249
I'm sure.
450
00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:56,650
[SIGHS] Thank you.
451
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,320
You take care, now.
452
00:18:03,410 --> 00:18:05,879
The Lord just sent me a message.
453
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:07,479
Really?
454
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,149
I'm sorry.
455
00:18:09,150 --> 00:18:11,370
I can't be in a physical relationship
456
00:18:11,380 --> 00:18:12,940
outside of marriage.
457
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,419
Okay. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
458
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:17,620
I respect that.
459
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,029
Thank you.
460
00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:21,160
So when are we getting married?
461
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,100
Uh...
462
00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:26,969
We don't need open strings.
463
00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:28,870
We just connect them to a D-brane.
464
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,169
But your theories can't
recreate the known symmetries
465
00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:32,560
of the real world.
466
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:33,839
Everything okay in here?
467
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:36,079
More than okay. We're
having a spirited debate
468
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,490
on superstring theory.
469
00:18:37,500 --> 00:18:38,779
Very spirited.
470
00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:40,349
Well, you ready to go home?
471
00:18:40,350 --> 00:18:42,169
Yes. Unless Dr. Linkletter...
472
00:18:42,170 --> 00:18:43,769
He's ready.
473
00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:45,989
Well, I guess we'll see you next week.
474
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:48,190
Sounds good.
475
00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:51,450
No wonder Sturgis went crazy.
476
00:18:51,460 --> 00:18:56,620
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