﻿1
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Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
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Billy! Mr. Cooper is here.

3
00:00:06,063 --> 00:00:07,540
How you doing?

4
00:00:07,542 --> 00:00:10,067
Do not look under that rock.

5
00:00:11,198 --> 00:00:13,372
But I appreciate you asking.

6
00:00:13,374 --> 00:00:15,113
Hey, you got rejected.

7
00:00:15,115 --> 00:00:17,072
But was it the end of the world?

8
00:00:17,074 --> 00:00:18,226
No.

9
00:00:18,229 --> 00:00:20,510
And that is extremely
valuable information.

10
00:00:20,512 --> 00:00:21,946
And honestly...

11
00:00:21,948 --> 00:00:24,166
you dodged a bullet with Missy.

12
00:00:24,168 --> 00:00:25,994
The girl is mean.

13
00:00:25,996 --> 00:00:27,954
Thanks.

14
00:00:33,811 --> 00:00:35,376
[indistinct chatter, clamoring]

15
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WOMAN: Come on, Missy!

16
00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:38,337
- Hey.
- Hey!

17
00:00:38,340 --> 00:00:41,247
Came to see your man be a
leader of little people, huh?

18
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,707
I came to see my granddaughter pitch.

19
00:00:43,709 --> 00:00:45,356
Yeah, under my leadership.

20
00:00:45,359 --> 00:00:47,276
All right, Cooper,
let's see what you got.

21
00:00:47,278 --> 00:00:48,540
Come on, girl!

22
00:00:51,412 --> 00:00:52,933
Come on, shake it off!

23
00:00:52,935 --> 00:00:54,502
You got this.

24
00:00:58,593 --> 00:01:00,680
What the hell was that?

25
00:01:00,682 --> 00:01:02,510
Well, there's some leadership.

26
00:01:05,644 --> 00:01:07,426
DALE: Time!

27
00:01:07,428 --> 00:01:08,775
Cooper!

28
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:09,966
Time!

29
00:01:09,969 --> 00:01:13,051
Cooper, what is the problem?

30
00:01:13,054 --> 00:01:15,043
The ball isn't going
where it's supposed to.

31
00:01:15,045 --> 00:01:16,131
I saw that.

32
00:01:16,133 --> 00:01:17,583
What am I doing wrong?

33
00:01:17,586 --> 00:01:19,544
Just a little case of the yips.

34
00:01:19,547 --> 00:01:21,658
- It happens.
- What's that?

35
00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:23,877
The yips... you know,
it's when you're thinking

36
00:01:23,879 --> 00:01:25,401
about stuff in your head

37
00:01:25,404 --> 00:01:27,359
and something you've
done a million times,

38
00:01:27,361 --> 00:01:30,578
you can't do it anymore.
Even the pros get it.

39
00:01:30,581 --> 00:01:32,234
How do I get rid of it?

40
00:01:32,236 --> 00:01:34,584
Uh, just don't think about it.

41
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Okay.

42
00:01:36,286 --> 00:01:38,549
[sighs]

43
00:01:41,381 --> 00:01:44,164
Don't think, just throw.

44
00:01:47,555 --> 00:01:48,902
[crowd clamoring]

45
00:01:48,904 --> 00:01:52,167
I hate the little people.

46
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

47
00:01:55,085 --> 00:01:57,955
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

48
00:01:57,957 --> 00:02:00,286
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

49
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

50
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- <font color="#D81D1D">Corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

51
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[engine sputtering]

52
00:02:17,977 --> 00:02:20,195
BRENDA: Damn it!

53
00:02:20,197 --> 00:02:21,500
Brenda?

54
00:02:21,502 --> 00:02:22,734
What?

55
00:02:22,737 --> 00:02:24,460
Everything okay over there?

56
00:02:24,462 --> 00:02:26,159
Oh, yeah.

57
00:02:26,875 --> 00:02:28,091
Okay.

58
00:02:28,094 --> 00:02:29,465
[engine sputtering]

59
00:02:29,467 --> 00:02:31,320
Damn it!

60
00:02:31,323 --> 00:02:33,294
Okay, give her a go.

61
00:02:33,297 --> 00:02:35,342
[engine starts]

62
00:02:36,301 --> 00:02:37,911
You're a lifesaver.

63
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,665
It's a gift.

64
00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:43,391
Can I offer you a beer
and some thank-you cobbler?

65
00:02:43,394 --> 00:02:45,375
Weren't you on your way somewhere?

66
00:02:45,378 --> 00:02:46,617
Weight Watchers.

67
00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:48,700
[laughs]

68
00:02:48,703 --> 00:02:50,050
What do you say?

69
00:02:50,052 --> 00:02:52,142
Eh, sure.

70
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Do guys ever go to those
Weight Watchers meetings?

71
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:58,319
Yeah, but they're all fat.

72
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[laughs]

73
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ADULT SHELDON: Of all the
tests one takes in school,

74
00:03:02,761 --> 00:03:05,133
my favorite was the midterm.

75
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Finals weren't bad,

76
00:03:06,660 --> 00:03:08,872
but they also meant
summer was approaching.

77
00:03:08,875 --> 00:03:11,550
I don't believe in
religion, but sunshine,

78
00:03:11,552 --> 00:03:13,015
picnics and pool parties

79
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,756
are proof hell exists.

80
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[nearby thud]

81
00:03:19,862 --> 00:03:21,995
[door thuds]

82
00:03:25,019 --> 00:03:26,366
Aah!

83
00:03:26,369 --> 00:03:27,913
Why are you trying to hit me?

84
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,844
I'm trying to hit the target.

85
00:03:29,847 --> 00:03:31,135
It's over there.

86
00:03:31,137 --> 00:03:33,078
I know, dingus.

87
00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:37,254
I thought you were good at this.

88
00:03:37,257 --> 00:03:38,316
I was.

89
00:03:38,318 --> 00:03:40,884
Coach Dale says I have the yips.

90
00:03:40,886 --> 00:03:42,668
It's not contagious, is it?

91
00:03:42,670 --> 00:03:44,844
No, it happens in sports.

92
00:03:44,846 --> 00:03:47,282
Suddenly you can't do a
thing that used to be easy.

93
00:03:47,284 --> 00:03:49,066
It doesn't sound real.

94
00:03:49,068 --> 00:03:50,726
Then why can't I pitch anymore?

95
00:03:50,729 --> 00:03:52,726
Ooh, perhaps it's the onset of puberty

96
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and the hysterical mood
swings that go with it.

97
00:03:54,994 --> 00:03:56,725
Dingus, house.

98
00:03:56,728 --> 00:03:58,730
You're only proving my point.

99
00:04:02,908 --> 00:04:04,821
What, Billy won an award?

100
00:04:04,823 --> 00:04:06,961
Participation.

101
00:04:06,964 --> 00:04:08,346
Big whoop.

102
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:09,562
I guess it's something.

103
00:04:09,565 --> 00:04:11,512
Well, he ain't the
sharpest pencil in the box,

104
00:04:11,515 --> 00:04:13,258
but he's the sweetest kid I know.

105
00:04:13,261 --> 00:04:15,787
Well, Sheldon is the sharpest pencil.

106
00:04:15,790 --> 00:04:17,422
Sometimes I'd just like

107
00:04:17,425 --> 00:04:19,333
to shove his head in that box.

108
00:04:19,336 --> 00:04:21,664
- [chuckles]
- Where's your trash?

109
00:04:21,666 --> 00:04:22,969
Everywhere.

110
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,626
- But the basket's under the sink.
- Mm.

111
00:04:26,714 --> 00:04:29,062
[exhales]

112
00:04:29,064 --> 00:04:30,977
You know your faucet's leaking?

113
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:33,458
Yep, this whole place is falling apart.

114
00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:34,562
Well...

115
00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:36,719
I'll come over another
time, and take care of it.Oh.

116
00:04:36,722 --> 00:04:38,898
You know, you don't have to do that.

117
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:41,292
One more?

118
00:04:41,294 --> 00:04:43,642
I should get going.

119
00:04:43,644 --> 00:04:45,385
Well, thanks again.

120
00:04:47,822 --> 00:04:50,719
Want to buy a house?

121
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[door opens]

122
00:04:52,087 --> 00:04:53,492
Hey, where you been?

123
00:04:53,495 --> 00:04:55,844
Ah, Brenda was having car trouble.

124
00:04:55,847 --> 00:04:58,020
- Just giving her hand.
- That's nice.

125
00:04:58,023 --> 00:05:00,093
I'm sure it's hard being by herself.

126
00:05:00,095 --> 00:05:01,094
Yeah.

127
00:05:01,097 --> 00:05:02,859
That whole house is in need of repair.

128
00:05:02,862 --> 00:05:04,789
I hope you offered to help her out.

129
00:05:04,792 --> 00:05:06,748
I did... she said no.

130
00:05:06,751 --> 00:05:09,101
Well, that's just her being proud.

131
00:05:09,104 --> 00:05:11,237
Of course she wants your help.

132
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[stammers] I guess
some time I'll pop over.

133
00:05:15,018 --> 00:05:16,626
Good.

134
00:05:16,629 --> 00:05:18,781
And when you go, hitch up your pants.

135
00:05:18,784 --> 00:05:21,331
There's a lot going on when you squat.

136
00:05:21,334 --> 00:05:22,726
LINKLETTER: All right.

137
00:05:22,729 --> 00:05:24,111
You have 45 minutes to complete

138
00:05:24,114 --> 00:05:26,380
the test, eyes on your own paper and...

139
00:05:26,383 --> 00:05:29,384
Yes, Sheldon, if you finish
early, you can take it again.

140
00:05:29,386 --> 00:05:30,776
And...

141
00:05:30,778 --> 00:05:32,082
begin!

142
00:05:32,084 --> 00:05:33,301
ADULT SHELDON: And I was off.

143
00:05:33,303 --> 00:05:34,883
I flew through wave functions.

144
00:05:34,886 --> 00:05:37,129
I dominated harmonic oscillators.

145
00:05:37,132 --> 00:05:39,132
The only challenging part of this exam

146
00:05:39,134 --> 00:05:41,570
was trying to balance the
desire to finish quickly

147
00:05:41,572 --> 00:05:44,488
with the urge to stop and smell
my freshly sharpened pencil.

148
00:05:45,489 --> 00:05:46,662
Mmm.

149
00:05:46,664 --> 00:05:48,316
I was in the zone.

150
00:05:48,318 --> 00:05:50,056
Only one question left.

151
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,442
All I needed to do

152
00:05:51,445 --> 00:05:53,277
was solve Schrodinger's equation

153
00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:55,714
in a cylindrical well
by employing the zeroes

154
00:05:55,716 --> 00:05:57,849
of the Bessel function,
which of course were...

155
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:01,359
Wait, what are they?

156
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,199
Come on, you know this.

157
00:06:03,202 --> 00:06:05,204
You've done it a million times.

158
00:06:06,510 --> 00:06:08,586
Oh, dear.

159
00:06:16,563 --> 00:06:19,085
All right, Sheldon, time
to turn in your test.

160
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,304
I'm not done yet.

161
00:06:20,306 --> 00:06:22,505
[sighs] I know you like to add

162
00:06:22,508 --> 00:06:24,526
your own "better questions" at the end,

163
00:06:24,528 --> 00:06:26,466
but for the last time,
I don't count them.

164
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,965
I just need a few more
minutes on this problem.

165
00:06:28,967 --> 00:06:30,226
That's an easy one.

166
00:06:30,229 --> 00:06:32,055
Just apply the zeroes
of the Bessel function.

167
00:06:32,057 --> 00:06:33,709
I know what I have to do.

168
00:06:33,711 --> 00:06:35,062
Is this is a tantrum?

169
00:06:35,065 --> 00:06:37,137
I've heard children your
age like to throw them.

170
00:06:37,140 --> 00:06:38,888
I can't remember what the zeroes

171
00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:40,716
of the Bessel function are.

172
00:06:40,718 --> 00:06:41,891
You didn't memorize them?

173
00:06:41,893 --> 00:06:44,110
Of course I did... October 7, 1988.

174
00:06:44,112 --> 00:06:45,721
I had just had a bowl of Teddy Grahams.

175
00:06:45,723 --> 00:06:48,071
Then what's the problem?

176
00:06:48,073 --> 00:06:50,726
I'm blanking, but I'll get it.

177
00:06:50,728 --> 00:06:51,857
Sorry, son, class is over.

178
00:06:51,859 --> 00:06:53,023
No, I can do this.

179
00:06:53,026 --> 00:06:55,294
It's just one question.
You'll still pass.

180
00:06:55,297 --> 00:06:57,791
Sheldon Cooper doesn't "just pass."

181
00:06:57,794 --> 00:06:59,228
I have an idea.

182
00:06:59,231 --> 00:07:00,622
Let me see the test.

183
00:07:00,625 --> 00:07:02,259
Thank you.

184
00:07:02,261 --> 00:07:04,479
Sheldon Cooper isn't always

185
00:07:04,481 --> 00:07:06,320
- that gullible.
- He was today.

186
00:07:07,770 --> 00:07:10,890
All right, almost there.

187
00:07:10,893 --> 00:07:13,111
Hand me a screwdriver.

188
00:07:13,113 --> 00:07:14,726
Don't stick this in an outlet.

189
00:07:14,729 --> 00:07:16,633
It really tingles.

190
00:07:16,636 --> 00:07:19,290
- We had an incident.
- Yeah.

191
00:07:19,293 --> 00:07:21,367
You know what?

192
00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:22,630
Why don't you fix it?

193
00:07:22,633 --> 00:07:24,382
- BOTH: Really?
- Yeah, you see

194
00:07:24,385 --> 00:07:25,384
that little screw there?

195
00:07:25,387 --> 00:07:27,305
Just go ahead and tighten her up.

196
00:07:27,308 --> 00:07:29,395
- Like this?
- Yep.

197
00:07:29,398 --> 00:07:31,406
BILLY: What now?

198
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,436
Uh, run outside and
turn the water back on.

199
00:07:33,438 --> 00:07:35,981
Here, I'm not allowed to run with this.

200
00:07:35,984 --> 00:07:38,660
We've had a lot of incidents.

201
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:42,271
- Who knew you were so handy?
- Yeah.

202
00:07:42,273 --> 00:07:44,336
There's just things
guys need to be good at.

203
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:46,992
What else you good at?

204
00:07:46,995 --> 00:07:48,865
[water sputters]

205
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:50,521
I should go.

206
00:07:54,328 --> 00:07:55,762
[door closes]

207
00:07:55,764 --> 00:07:57,677
Hey, pretty lady.

208
00:07:57,679 --> 00:07:59,984
- Are you drinking already?
- [laughs] No!

209
00:07:59,986 --> 00:08:02,682
Can't a guy give his wife a compliment?

210
00:08:02,684 --> 00:08:04,336
Do I have to smell your breath?

211
00:08:04,338 --> 00:08:05,946
How about a kiss instead?

212
00:08:05,948 --> 00:08:07,339
What is with you?

213
00:08:07,341 --> 00:08:08,862
Well, I don't know.

214
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,995
Kids aren't home.

215
00:08:10,997 --> 00:08:13,515
Now? I'm doing laundry.

216
00:08:13,518 --> 00:08:14,953
Laundry can wait.

217
00:08:14,956 --> 00:08:16,522
So can your thing.

218
00:08:16,524 --> 00:08:18,133
I like to think of it as ourthing,

219
00:08:18,135 --> 00:08:21,223
but if you only have time for
my thing, that's fine, too.

220
00:08:21,225 --> 00:08:23,138
You're being weird.

221
00:08:23,140 --> 00:08:24,922
Weird sexy?

222
00:08:24,924 --> 00:08:26,053
No.

223
00:08:26,055 --> 00:08:28,099
- Headed to the bedroom?
- No!

224
00:08:28,101 --> 00:08:30,321
Just checking.

225
00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:32,495
[sighs]

226
00:08:32,497 --> 00:08:34,584
SHELDON: Missy!

227
00:08:34,586 --> 00:08:36,656
You gave me your yips.

228
00:08:36,659 --> 00:08:37,718
What?

229
00:08:37,721 --> 00:08:39,806
I froze on a test. That's
never happened before.

230
00:08:39,809 --> 00:08:41,068
It's all your fault.

231
00:08:41,070 --> 00:08:42,592
I told you it's not contagious.

232
00:08:42,594 --> 00:08:43,897
You put the thought in my head.

233
00:08:43,899 --> 00:08:45,508
The power of suggestion is very real.

234
00:08:45,510 --> 00:08:47,597
Case in point: tulip mania.

235
00:08:47,599 --> 00:08:49,555
- Here we go.
- Tulip mania

236
00:08:49,557 --> 00:08:51,226
was an insane desire to buy and trade

237
00:08:51,229 --> 00:08:52,863
tulip bulbs in the 1600s.

238
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,647
It nearly ruined the Dutch economy.

239
00:08:54,649 --> 00:08:56,606
You would not believe the
gilders they were spending.

240
00:08:56,608 --> 00:08:58,347
How can you remember
this stupid information,

241
00:08:58,349 --> 00:09:00,044
but not the stuff on your test?

242
00:09:00,046 --> 00:09:01,393
You tell me, they're your yips.

243
00:09:01,395 --> 00:09:03,426
Sheldon, if I knew how to make it stop,

244
00:09:03,429 --> 00:09:04,614
I would tell you.

245
00:09:04,616 --> 00:09:06,311
You better.

246
00:09:06,314 --> 00:09:09,215
Maybe it's puberty
making you all emotional.

247
00:09:09,218 --> 00:09:11,465
I checked my armpits...
Smooth as balloons.

248
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:13,146
[groans]

249
00:09:14,278 --> 00:09:17,409
- Hey.
- [groans]

250
00:09:17,411 --> 00:09:19,016
What's your problem?

251
00:09:19,019 --> 00:09:20,497
I don't want to talk about it.

252
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:22,371
- Great.
- I had a mental block

253
00:09:22,373 --> 00:09:23,850
on a test and it was something that

254
00:09:23,852 --> 00:09:25,330
I absolutely know how to do.

255
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:27,637
Oh, you know, that sort of
thing happens in sports, too.

256
00:09:27,639 --> 00:09:28,986
I know. It's called the yips,

257
00:09:28,988 --> 00:09:30,117
and it's a very silly name

258
00:09:30,119 --> 00:09:31,597
for a very serious problem.

259
00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,426
Well, you know, the best thing to do

260
00:09:33,429 --> 00:09:35,949
is get out of your head.

261
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,081
How do I do that?

262
00:09:37,083 --> 00:09:39,562
Just turn your brain off.

263
00:09:39,564 --> 00:09:41,128
It's like I'm not even your son.

264
00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:42,608
[sighs] Look.

265
00:09:42,610 --> 00:09:44,777
I know you don't respect
what I do as a coach.

266
00:09:44,780 --> 00:09:46,200
Maybe you do know me.

267
00:09:46,203 --> 00:09:48,989
But this is a thing
I actually know about.

268
00:09:48,992 --> 00:09:50,790
I've seen it happen to my players.

269
00:09:50,792 --> 00:09:52,705
I've seen it happen to pros in golf.

270
00:09:52,707 --> 00:09:54,185
In baseball.

271
00:09:54,187 --> 00:09:55,708
The answer is always the same.

272
00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:58,363
Stop thinking and get
out of your own way.

273
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:01,758
I don't know how to do that.

274
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,587
Have you ever heard the
Nike slogan "Just do it"?

275
00:10:04,589 --> 00:10:06,415
I'm familiar with the
phrase "let's do it,"

276
00:10:06,417 --> 00:10:08,373
uttered by Gary Gilmore, the last person

277
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:11,073
to be executed by
firing squad in America.

278
00:10:12,227 --> 00:10:15,184
Okay, well, it's a shoe slogan.

279
00:10:15,187 --> 00:10:17,218
And it's good advice.

280
00:10:17,221 --> 00:10:19,476
The answer is already in your head.

281
00:10:19,479 --> 00:10:21,212
Don't think so hard.

282
00:10:21,214 --> 00:10:22,781
Just do it.

283
00:10:24,043 --> 00:10:25,434
I'll try.

284
00:10:25,436 --> 00:10:27,554
Good man.

285
00:10:27,557 --> 00:10:30,090
Another fun footwear
slogan is "I'm Buster Brown.

286
00:10:30,092 --> 00:10:32,354
I live in a shoe. That's my dog Tige.

287
00:10:32,356 --> 00:10:33,790
Look for him there, too."

288
00:10:33,792 --> 00:10:35,835
Mm, I think mine is more helpful.

289
00:10:35,837 --> 00:10:37,622
Well, mine rhymes, so...

290
00:10:40,233 --> 00:10:42,973
ADULT SHELDON: I decided
to heed my father's advice.

291
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,657
I wasn't sure how to turn off my brain.

292
00:10:45,660 --> 00:10:48,356
Thankfully, I lived with an expert.

293
00:10:48,359 --> 00:10:50,110
What's up?

294
00:10:50,112 --> 00:10:52,414
I've never really thought
about not thinking before.

295
00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:54,376
Well, I'm asking you to think about it.

296
00:10:54,378 --> 00:10:56,656
But I thought you were
interested in not thinking.

297
00:10:56,659 --> 00:10:58,466
I am. I want you to
think about not thinking,

298
00:10:58,469 --> 00:10:59,816
and then teach me how to do it.

299
00:10:59,818 --> 00:11:02,122
- Do what?
- Not think.

300
00:11:02,124 --> 00:11:04,170
All right.

301
00:11:06,651 --> 00:11:08,259
This is tough.

302
00:11:08,261 --> 00:11:10,398
I'm good at not thinking,
but I don't think

303
00:11:10,401 --> 00:11:12,568
I can teach you how to
not think without thinking.

304
00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:14,750
Hmm, well, thank you for trying.

305
00:11:14,753 --> 00:11:16,484
Hold on! What if you're thinking

306
00:11:16,487 --> 00:11:17,964
about something else instead?

307
00:11:17,966 --> 00:11:19,966
Would that count as
thinking or not thinking?

308
00:11:19,968 --> 00:11:22,099
I suppose it's similar to the mantras

309
00:11:22,101 --> 00:11:23,828
extolled by the sages of the east.

310
00:11:23,831 --> 00:11:25,744
It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda

311
00:11:25,747 --> 00:11:28,017
called Japa Yoga and
it's intended to bring out

312
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:30,762
a single-pointedness of concentration.

313
00:11:32,241 --> 00:11:33,980
Sorry, I zoned out.

314
00:11:33,982 --> 00:11:35,992
- Ooh, tell me how.
- Let's see.

315
00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:37,125
You were blabbering.

316
00:11:37,128 --> 00:11:38,742
It all started to blur together.

317
00:11:38,745 --> 00:11:39,945
And I was gone.

318
00:11:39,948 --> 00:11:41,944
At what point did it start to happen?

319
00:11:41,947 --> 00:11:43,422
I don't know. Say it again.

320
00:11:43,425 --> 00:11:44,686
I said I suppose

321
00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:46,079
it's similar to the mantras

322
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,836
extolled by the sages of the east.

323
00:11:47,839 --> 00:11:51,057
It's a practice that Swami
Vivekananda called Japa Yoga...

324
00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:53,541
♪

325
00:12:00,182 --> 00:12:02,141
That is wild.

326
00:12:05,288 --> 00:12:07,886
ADULT SHELDON: The next day,
armed with the sage advice

327
00:12:07,889 --> 00:12:09,698
of my father, my brother,

328
00:12:09,701 --> 00:12:12,923
and an executed murderer, I
was allowed to retake the test.

329
00:12:13,072 --> 00:12:16,075
You have 45 minutes starting now.

330
00:12:16,959 --> 00:12:18,420
SHELDON: Okay, just do it.

331
00:12:18,423 --> 00:12:19,584
Just do it.

332
00:12:19,587 --> 00:12:22,196
Just turn your brain off and do it.

333
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:24,068
Is it off? Am I doing it?

334
00:12:24,071 --> 00:12:26,576
Wait, if I'm thinking it's
off, then it must still be on.

335
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,477
I'm trying too hard. Don't
overthink, just do it.

336
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,990
Just do it, just...

337
00:12:31,993 --> 00:12:35,037
Time's up.

338
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,257
But I didn't do it.

339
00:12:36,260 --> 00:12:37,545
Waste my morning?

340
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:38,965
You did it.

341
00:12:38,968 --> 00:12:41,186
That toilet won't stop running.

342
00:12:41,188 --> 00:12:42,849
Have you tried jiggling the handle?

343
00:12:42,852 --> 00:12:44,388
I jiggled it, wiggled it.

344
00:12:44,391 --> 00:12:46,016
Damn near had a baby with it.

345
00:12:46,018 --> 00:12:47,627
[chuckles] Yeah, let me take a look.

346
00:12:47,629 --> 00:12:51,065
I was fixing to put some dinner
on, if you care to join me.

347
00:12:51,067 --> 00:12:52,996
I don't want to put you out.

348
00:12:52,999 --> 00:12:54,651
It's just frozen lasagna.

349
00:12:54,654 --> 00:12:57,202
But I'm going oven instead of microwave,

350
00:12:57,204 --> 00:12:58,899
'cause you're company. [chuckles]

351
00:12:58,901 --> 00:13:00,901
What are you doing?

352
00:13:00,903 --> 00:13:02,119
What do you mean?

353
00:13:02,121 --> 00:13:04,385
[scoffs] You know what I mean.

354
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,752
I was just trying to thank you.

355
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:10,321
And you're the one who offered

356
00:13:10,324 --> 00:13:11,932
to come over here and fix things.

357
00:13:11,935 --> 00:13:13,195
I was being nice.

358
00:13:13,198 --> 00:13:14,284
So was I.

359
00:13:14,287 --> 00:13:15,971
Yeah, maybe a little too nice.

360
00:13:15,974 --> 00:13:17,700
There is no pleasing you.

361
00:13:17,702 --> 00:13:18,932
Well, I don't need this here.

362
00:13:18,935 --> 00:13:20,213
I can get fighting at my house.

363
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,314
Then maybe you should
go back to your house.

364
00:13:22,316 --> 00:13:25,104
BILLY: Mom, can you
help with my homework?

365
00:13:25,107 --> 00:13:27,362
There in a sec.

366
00:13:27,364 --> 00:13:29,234
You leaving?

367
00:13:29,236 --> 00:13:30,670
You gonna fix the toilet?

368
00:13:30,672 --> 00:13:32,324
- No.
- Then I guess I'm not leaving.

369
00:13:32,326 --> 00:13:33,673
Thank you. Lasagna?

370
00:13:33,675 --> 00:13:35,370
Small piece. Mary's making tacos.

371
00:13:35,372 --> 00:13:36,607
Okay.

372
00:13:36,610 --> 00:13:38,862
ADULT SHELDON: Trying to
outsmart my own thought patterns

373
00:13:38,865 --> 00:13:40,419
proved to be challenging.

374
00:13:40,421 --> 00:13:43,726
It's understandable, as smart as I was,

375
00:13:43,728 --> 00:13:45,598
I was also that smart.

376
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:49,297
I wondered if I could
invent a mind control device,

377
00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:51,756
but that sounded a
little too "mwah-ha-ha"

378
00:13:51,759 --> 00:13:53,909
even for me. It turned out

379
00:13:53,912 --> 00:13:55,738
the device I was looking for

380
00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:58,350
had been in my presence the entire time.

381
00:13:58,352 --> 00:14:00,395
Television. It had been tranquilizing

382
00:14:00,397 --> 00:14:02,971
the minds of America's
youth for generations,

383
00:14:02,974 --> 00:14:04,854
and it was just what I needed.

384
00:14:04,857 --> 00:14:06,401
MAN: Lift off.

385
00:14:06,403 --> 00:14:08,187
Too interesting.

386
00:14:09,326 --> 00:14:10,579
Too violent.

387
00:14:10,581 --> 00:14:11,972
[indistinct TV chatter]

388
00:14:11,974 --> 00:14:14,322
[chuckles] I don't think so.

389
00:14:14,324 --> 00:14:17,586
Now, then, let's build
us a little cloud.

390
00:14:17,588 --> 00:14:19,513
Clouds are very free.

391
00:14:19,516 --> 00:14:21,115
Very, very free.

392
00:14:21,118 --> 00:14:22,662
Tell you what. If you...

393
00:14:22,665 --> 00:14:24,724
That was so much fun, let's get crazy...

394
00:14:24,726 --> 00:14:27,727
Who's this bohemian?

395
00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:29,448
PETERSON: If you could have

396
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,905
any job in the high
school, what would it be?

397
00:14:31,907 --> 00:14:34,084
[laughs] I don't know, why?

398
00:14:34,087 --> 00:14:36,304
Sometimes I look at the janitor

399
00:14:36,307 --> 00:14:38,216
pushing around that buffing machine.

400
00:14:38,219 --> 00:14:41,176
That thing looks like a blast.

401
00:14:41,179 --> 00:14:42,613
He doesn't wear a tie.

402
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:45,574
No fights with the school board.

403
00:14:45,577 --> 00:14:49,015
Vomit and feces aside,
he's, he's living the dream.

404
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,809
Hello? Am I boring you?

405
00:14:52,812 --> 00:14:53,855
Sorry.

406
00:14:53,858 --> 00:14:55,667
I'm a little distracted.

407
00:14:55,670 --> 00:14:58,540
Trouble at home?

408
00:14:58,542 --> 00:14:59,998
- Something like that.
- Mm.

409
00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:01,393
You want to talk about it?

410
00:15:02,751 --> 00:15:04,490
No.

411
00:15:04,493 --> 00:15:06,623
Tell me about your fun bachelor life.

412
00:15:06,626 --> 00:15:08,677
Well, as of last week, I officially

413
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:11,037
tasted every Campbell's soup.

414
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,920
[laughing]: Come on, Tom.

415
00:15:12,923 --> 00:15:14,749
I'm trying to live vicariously here.

416
00:15:14,752 --> 00:15:16,558
There's got to be something good.

417
00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:19,561
Let's see, I go hunting and
fishing whenever I feel like it.

418
00:15:19,563 --> 00:15:21,171
Now we're getting somewhere.

419
00:15:21,173 --> 00:15:24,479
- Spend my money on whatever I want.
- Mm.

420
00:15:24,481 --> 00:15:26,394
What was the last thing you got?

421
00:15:26,396 --> 00:15:28,904
Foreman fight on pay-per-view.

422
00:15:28,907 --> 00:15:32,263
I ate a bucket of chicken and
watched it in my underwear.

423
00:15:32,266 --> 00:15:33,537
You lucky bastard.

424
00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:35,185
Uh-huh. [chuckles]

425
00:15:35,188 --> 00:15:36,466
What about women?

426
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:39,045
[sighs] Honestly...

427
00:15:39,048 --> 00:15:42,191
it's tough to meet people at this age.

428
00:15:42,194 --> 00:15:44,334
No, come on, charming fella like you?

429
00:15:44,337 --> 00:15:45,423
[scoffs]

430
00:15:45,426 --> 00:15:46,924
Sadly, this is the best night out

431
00:15:46,927 --> 00:15:48,764
I've had in a long time.

432
00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:51,474
Yeah. Me, too.

433
00:15:51,477 --> 00:15:54,596
But if you know anybody,
send them my way.

434
00:15:54,599 --> 00:15:56,775
[country song playing softly]

435
00:15:58,297 --> 00:16:00,517
Yeah, I'll think about.

436
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,310
You ever eat chicken in your underwear?

437
00:16:04,313 --> 00:16:05,564
What do you think?

438
00:16:05,566 --> 00:16:07,388
- Yes.
- Yes.

439
00:16:07,391 --> 00:16:09,262
BOB ROSS: Making a
gorgeous little mountain.

440
00:16:09,265 --> 00:16:10,404
Ooh.

441
00:16:10,407 --> 00:16:13,034
Little stand of evergreens
that lives right in here.

442
00:16:13,037 --> 00:16:15,356
I didn't know Richard Simmons can paint.

443
00:16:15,358 --> 00:16:16,771
His name's Bob Ross.

444
00:16:16,774 --> 00:16:18,470
And he's oddly hypnotic.

445
00:16:18,473 --> 00:16:19,863
You're gonna paint?

446
00:16:19,866 --> 00:16:21,623
No, I just like watching him.

447
00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:23,123
I can't explain it, but his voice

448
00:16:23,126 --> 00:16:25,974
and demeanor are comforting,
like a hot beverage.

449
00:16:25,977 --> 00:16:28,108
Let's get crazy and, once again,

450
00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:30,545
just pull it out, just
like we did the other one.

451
00:16:30,547 --> 00:16:31,981
Yawn.

452
00:16:31,983 --> 00:16:35,245
Barely touch, whisper.

453
00:16:35,247 --> 00:16:37,247
Just whisper light.

454
00:16:37,249 --> 00:16:38,727
Let it go.

455
00:16:38,729 --> 00:16:40,693
Let it go, no pressure.

456
00:16:40,696 --> 00:16:43,427
ADULT SHELDON: The yips
are a cruel mistress.

457
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:46,735
But thanks to a magical
man with a halo of curls,

458
00:16:46,737 --> 00:16:50,893
I was finally able to relax
and get out of my own head.

459
00:16:50,896 --> 00:16:54,743
Instead of freezing up, I
thought about happy integers.

460
00:16:54,745 --> 00:16:57,267
Fluffy little formulas

461
00:16:57,269 --> 00:16:59,487
and a sweet Bessel
function that just wants me

462
00:16:59,489 --> 00:17:00,532
to do my very best.

463
00:17:00,534 --> 00:17:01,607
Done.

464
00:17:01,610 --> 00:17:03,440
Great, I can still
make my doubles match.

465
00:17:03,443 --> 00:17:04,799
Get out.

466
00:17:09,414 --> 00:17:11,041
- [crowd groaning]
- [sighs] Damn it.

467
00:17:11,044 --> 00:17:13,697
- Hold it. Time, time, time.
- UMPIRE: Time!

468
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,524
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

469
00:17:15,527 --> 00:17:17,571
Ah, don't worry about
it. It's not your fault.

470
00:17:17,573 --> 00:17:19,216
- It isn't?
- No, I'm the one

471
00:17:19,219 --> 00:17:21,706
that let a girl pitch. It's my mistake.

472
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:24,141
What? I've won so many games.

473
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,448
Oh, that was then.

474
00:17:25,450 --> 00:17:27,287
Why are you being so mean?

475
00:17:27,290 --> 00:17:30,030
Well, why are you getting
so emotional, like women do?

476
00:17:30,033 --> 00:17:32,163
Maybe you ought to be a cheerleader.

477
00:17:32,166 --> 00:17:34,036
You trying to make me mad?

478
00:17:34,039 --> 00:17:35,545
- Is it working?
- Yeah.

479
00:17:35,547 --> 00:17:36,764
Well, I tell you what,

480
00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:39,071
picture my face in the catcher's mitt.

481
00:17:39,073 --> 00:17:40,072
What?

482
00:17:40,074 --> 00:17:41,551
Do I have to dumb it down for you?

483
00:17:41,553 --> 00:17:43,728
Just do what I tell you.

484
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,209
[sighs]

485
00:17:46,210 --> 00:17:48,865
[spectators calling out]

486
00:17:50,432 --> 00:17:52,084
[grunts]

487
00:17:52,086 --> 00:17:54,042
- Strike!
- Yes!

488
00:17:54,044 --> 00:17:57,450
Aw, don't get all
hysterical, little girl!

489
00:17:57,453 --> 00:17:58,960
You suck!

490
00:17:58,962 --> 00:18:00,146
You suck!

491
00:18:00,149 --> 00:18:02,529
No! You suck!

492
00:18:02,531 --> 00:18:04,661
Strike!

493
00:18:04,663 --> 00:18:07,884
I am the leader of the little people.

494
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:15,860
- <font color="#D81D1D">Corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

