1
00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:16,493
Okay, here's the thing.
2
00:00:18,131 --> 00:00:22,295
l just don't want to do this show.
l just don't want to do it anymore.
3
00:00:23,303 --> 00:00:25,828
l've lost enthusiasm for it.
4
00:00:25,906 --> 00:00:27,897
l just don't feel jazzed about it...
5
00:00:27,974 --> 00:00:31,501
and l've kind of had it.
6
00:00:31,578 --> 00:00:33,842
So let's just walk away from this.
7
00:00:33,914 --> 00:00:37,247
lt's just too much of a headache
and l'm utterly exhausted, okay?
8
00:00:37,317 --> 00:00:39,182
l can't believe you're saying this.
9
00:00:39,252 --> 00:00:42,278
lt's such a great idea. lt's a great idea.
10
00:00:42,356 --> 00:00:46,258
No, I know, Jeff, I know it's a great idea.
That's not what the issue is.
11
00:00:46,326 --> 00:00:49,762
The problem,
quite honestly, has been you, Larry.
12
00:00:50,864 --> 00:00:51,922
Yeah.
13
00:00:51,998 --> 00:00:55,331
l mean, it's just been a fiasco
from start to finish.
14
00:00:55,402 --> 00:00:58,235
lt just seems
that trouble seems to be following you.
15
00:00:58,305 --> 00:00:59,966
He's a victim of circumstance.
16
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,339
Okay, it's his not being
a victim of circumstance, guys...
17
00:01:03,410 --> 00:01:06,470
and, you know.... Lar, come on.
18
00:01:06,546 --> 00:01:09,674
This has been a joke, it's been too much.
19
00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:13,015
l don't know what to say,
l'm sorry that you feel that way.
20
00:01:13,086 --> 00:01:16,578
-lt's a shame, because everyone loves it.
-Yeah, everyone loves it.
21
00:01:16,656 --> 00:01:19,216
lt's what's gone on after
that's been the problem, but--
22
00:01:19,292 --> 00:01:23,160
lf we were to continue,
where would we even go at this point?
23
00:01:23,230 --> 00:01:24,925
Where would we even go?
24
00:01:25,699 --> 00:01:27,792
What are our choices here, CBS?
25
00:01:27,868 --> 00:01:29,062
-CBS.
-Fox?
26
00:01:29,136 --> 00:01:33,004
-No, not Fox, I don't like their politics.
-CBS is where l'd like to go with it.
27
00:01:33,273 --> 00:01:37,801
-What do you say? Come on, we'll do CBS--
-lt's just that it's tiring. This has been tiring.
28
00:01:37,911 --> 00:01:41,176
He's gonna do it all from now on.
He will do it all.
29
00:01:41,248 --> 00:01:43,808
At the next meeting,
you don't even have to say a word.
30
00:01:43,884 --> 00:01:46,079
-l'll pitch the whole show, okay?
-Really?
31
00:01:46,153 --> 00:01:48,144
You don't even have to come and l'll sell it.
32
00:01:48,221 --> 00:01:52,521
Just divorce yourself from the whole thing
until there's a script in front of you, okay?
33
00:01:53,226 --> 00:01:56,161
-You are gonna do all of it?
-l will do the whole thing.
34
00:01:56,229 --> 00:01:58,527
-The whole pitch.
-Yeah, the whole pitch.
35
00:01:59,666 --> 00:02:01,691
Come on, one more shot.
36
00:02:01,802 --> 00:02:04,464
Oh, my God, all right, CBS.
37
00:02:04,871 --> 00:02:06,031
CBS.
38
00:02:07,808 --> 00:02:11,107
-That was a little dicey.
-Yeah, you know, I knew we had them.
39
00:02:11,178 --> 00:02:12,543
-Did you?
-Yeah.
40
00:02:12,746 --> 00:02:14,714
They needed reassurance, I think, right?
41
00:02:14,781 --> 00:02:17,909
They needed reassurance,
that's completely what it was.
42
00:02:19,853 --> 00:02:22,788
-Don't stare, come on.
-Oh, my God, look at that.
43
00:02:22,856 --> 00:02:26,519
l just read about that in the paper.
lt's called ''scarlet-letter punishment.''
44
00:02:26,593 --> 00:02:28,424
''Scarlet-letter punishment''?
45
00:02:28,495 --> 00:02:30,292
-Poor guy.
-Yeah.
46
00:02:30,897 --> 00:02:33,092
-Larry!
-Rick, how you doing?
47
00:02:33,166 --> 00:02:34,463
-Good!
-Good.
48
00:02:34,534 --> 00:02:36,058
You know that guy?
49
00:02:37,871 --> 00:02:42,308
He works at the restaurant, Moho,
in your hotel.
50
00:02:42,409 --> 00:02:43,774
The W Hotel.
51
00:02:43,844 --> 00:02:46,039
Why didn't you say
hello to him? You know him.
52
00:02:46,112 --> 00:02:49,548
He wanted to do a stop-and-chat.
l didn't want to do a stop-and-chat.
53
00:02:49,616 --> 00:02:52,244
''Stop-and-chat?''
Where do you come up with these things?
54
00:02:52,319 --> 00:02:55,720
He wanted to stop and chat with me
and I don't know him that well.
55
00:02:55,789 --> 00:02:58,087
''Hi, how are you?
Nice to see you. Take care, bye.''
56
00:02:58,158 --> 00:03:01,218
No, it's more than that.
For him, all I need to do is say hello--
57
00:03:01,294 --> 00:03:02,659
That was kind of rude.
58
00:03:02,729 --> 00:03:05,323
That was not rude.
l don't have to do a stop-and-chat.
59
00:03:05,398 --> 00:03:07,866
You always have rules
and phrasings, ''stop-and-chat.''
60
00:03:10,370 --> 00:03:13,771
Larry, would you
like to help us stuff some envelopes?
61
00:03:14,107 --> 00:03:15,972
-No.
-Really?
62
00:03:16,476 --> 00:03:18,740
-Surprise, surprise.
-That shocks me.
63
00:03:19,279 --> 00:03:21,076
Guess who l'm going to see.
64
00:03:21,147 --> 00:03:23,081
-Who?
-Kim.
65
00:03:23,316 --> 00:03:24,749
Kim nails or Kim psychic?
66
00:03:24,818 --> 00:03:26,877
-Kim psychic.
-What?
67
00:03:26,953 --> 00:03:29,945
-Yes, l'm so excited.
-You're going back to that psychic?
68
00:03:30,023 --> 00:03:32,082
Yeah, to Kim. I kept calling...
69
00:03:32,158 --> 00:03:35,321
and finally she said that
somebody cancelled their appointment.
70
00:03:35,395 --> 00:03:37,863
Last time, she was dead on.
71
00:03:37,931 --> 00:03:39,922
She's great. Yeah.
72
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,867
She told Cheryl
that I was gonna get a hole in one in golf...
73
00:03:42,936 --> 00:03:44,301
and I got a hole in one.
74
00:03:44,371 --> 00:03:46,635
That's amazing, she's almost magical.
75
00:03:46,706 --> 00:03:49,573
She also told Cheryl
l was gonna have a bad time in Hawaii...
76
00:03:49,643 --> 00:03:52,840
-which I did, but, you know....
-But that wasn't so....
77
00:03:52,913 --> 00:03:55,074
Only you could have a bad time in Hawaii.
78
00:03:55,148 --> 00:03:57,139
Yeah, anybody could've predicted that.
79
00:03:57,217 --> 00:04:01,119
And she said that one of my friends
was gonna get pregnant, Carrie...
80
00:04:01,187 --> 00:04:03,951
and she even said the name
and she's pregnant...
81
00:04:04,024 --> 00:04:06,254
and she's gonna have a baby,
and they're so happy.
82
00:04:06,326 --> 00:04:10,490
-lt's unbelievable. How weird is that?
-She's amazing. She's spooky.
83
00:04:10,564 --> 00:04:11,963
You know what I like about her?
84
00:04:12,032 --> 00:04:15,968
Stuff that's bad, she doesn't hold back.
She'll tell you. Yeah.
85
00:04:16,036 --> 00:04:19,403
'Cause a lot of psychics,
they hold back on the bad stuff.
86
00:04:19,472 --> 00:04:21,440
Who's gonna pay to hear
a bunch of bad shit?
87
00:04:21,508 --> 00:04:22,975
Nobody want to hear that.
88
00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:33,414
Do you believe this?
What the hell are they doing?
89
00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:35,544
Putt it.
90
00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:37,690
Every hole...
91
00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:39,919
they line up putts,
from the front, from the back.
92
00:04:39,993 --> 00:04:41,085
They walk around.
93
00:04:41,161 --> 00:04:43,493
Are they playing for thousands of dollars?
Come on.
94
00:04:43,563 --> 00:04:45,724
-l know.
-l've got a five-hour round here.
95
00:04:45,799 --> 00:04:47,426
-We're fine.
-We're fine?
96
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,593
-Enjoy yourself.
-l can't enjoy myself.
97
00:04:49,669 --> 00:04:52,160
They can't feel your tension, okay?
98
00:04:52,639 --> 00:04:54,607
You're just all wired up.
99
00:04:54,975 --> 00:04:56,772
You know what? I got a masseuse.
100
00:04:56,843 --> 00:04:59,539
This weekend you're gonna see her,
my treat.
101
00:04:59,613 --> 00:05:01,478
You're just all tense.
102
00:05:01,548 --> 00:05:03,846
You need to relax,
'cause golf doesn't relax you.
103
00:05:03,917 --> 00:05:06,385
How can you relax
if these guys take a year like this?
104
00:05:06,453 --> 00:05:08,387
You're right.
105
00:05:09,055 --> 00:05:10,545
So, my treat.
106
00:05:11,257 --> 00:05:13,691
Sorry about this,
they're taking a year up there.
107
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,625
No problem, don't worry about it.
108
00:05:15,695 --> 00:05:18,220
-l'm telling you--
-All right, fine, l'll get it.
109
00:05:18,298 --> 00:05:19,856
Finally, they're done.
110
00:05:28,308 --> 00:05:31,800
l can't hit in front of an audience.
You know, I just can't.
111
00:05:34,314 --> 00:05:38,114
-Right there, what's that?
-Yeah, that's a bad spot.
112
00:05:38,418 --> 00:05:41,080
Yeah, let's try to breathe through it,
okay, together?
113
00:05:49,496 --> 00:05:52,090
-ls that better?
-No, not really.
114
00:05:53,366 --> 00:05:56,335
You know, sometimes,
the body has a memory...
115
00:05:56,403 --> 00:06:00,430
and it holds on to traumatic events
from our childhood.
116
00:06:00,507 --> 00:06:04,967
And do you think this might relate
to anything that may have happened to you?
117
00:06:05,478 --> 00:06:07,810
My mother did throw me
against a brick wall...
118
00:06:07,881 --> 00:06:10,145
when I was an infant. Maybe that had--
119
00:06:10,216 --> 00:06:11,911
-Really?
-Yeah.
120
00:06:13,286 --> 00:06:14,776
l didn't get hurt at all.
121
00:06:17,323 --> 00:06:18,412
Yeah.
122
00:06:18,658 --> 00:06:21,821
And have you ever talked
to her about this, maybe?
123
00:06:21,961 --> 00:06:24,862
Yeah, l've mentioned it to her
a couple of times.
124
00:06:24,931 --> 00:06:29,425
-She's okay with that?
-Yeah, she said I was a little prick.
125
00:06:31,271 --> 00:06:34,729
-How's your chi?
-lt's good, it's delicious chi.
126
00:06:36,543 --> 00:06:40,377
The whole body does better
when there's no blockages anywhere.
127
00:06:41,681 --> 00:06:43,012
How are you feeling?
128
00:06:43,316 --> 00:06:45,181
-All right.
-Yeah?
129
00:06:46,086 --> 00:06:48,145
Would you like me to finish you off?
130
00:06:49,456 --> 00:06:50,889
Okay.
131
00:07:08,875 --> 00:07:10,069
Hot.
132
00:07:13,913 --> 00:07:15,312
Stop.
133
00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:19,385
-Stop.
-Stop?
134
00:07:19,686 --> 00:07:20,812
Stop.
135
00:07:23,757 --> 00:07:25,156
Are you okay?
136
00:07:33,733 --> 00:07:36,031
l'm just saying
if he gets Sarah Jessica Parker...
137
00:07:36,102 --> 00:07:38,297
to do a guest shot on our show,
it would be great.
138
00:07:38,371 --> 00:07:41,238
-Mike.
-How are you, man?
139
00:07:41,307 --> 00:07:42,399
Good to see you.
140
00:07:42,475 --> 00:07:43,942
-Good to see you.
-Absolutely.
141
00:07:44,010 --> 00:07:46,501
-Absolutely. What's going on?
-ls this--
142
00:07:46,579 --> 00:07:48,103
-What's going on?
-What's going on?
143
00:07:48,181 --> 00:07:51,582
What's going on?
What in the God's name is wrong with you?
144
00:07:51,651 --> 00:07:55,087
-You're nuts.
-You want me to wait outside?
145
00:07:55,155 --> 00:07:58,921
No, I don't want you to wait outside.
l want you to hear this, okay?
146
00:07:58,992 --> 00:08:01,620
-Okay.
-He sends me to a masseuse...
147
00:08:02,262 --> 00:08:06,028
and, you know, after 45 minutes,
l'm on my back...
148
00:08:06,099 --> 00:08:08,624
she says,
''Do you want me to finish you off?''
149
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,566
And I go, ''Okay.''
150
00:08:10,637 --> 00:08:12,764
l don't know what the hell
she's talking about!
151
00:08:12,839 --> 00:08:15,330
l think she'll work more on my neck
and that'll be it!
152
00:08:15,408 --> 00:08:19,310
Then she puts her hand under the sheets
and starts pumping away.
153
00:08:19,379 --> 00:08:21,347
Wait a minute,
are you messing around with me?
154
00:08:21,414 --> 00:08:23,382
No, I didn't know
what she was talking about.
155
00:08:23,449 --> 00:08:26,213
ls this a gag?
'Cause my character goes to a masseuse...
156
00:08:26,286 --> 00:08:28,151
who wants to give him a happy ending.
157
00:08:28,221 --> 00:08:31,122
-That happened on your show?
-You don't watch my show?
158
00:08:31,191 --> 00:08:33,659
-You don't?
-No.
159
00:08:34,494 --> 00:08:37,986
-l put my foot in my mouth, all right?
-l'm sorry, how's the show going?
160
00:08:38,064 --> 00:08:41,727
-You don't watch it, why do you care?
-l'm just making conversation.
161
00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:44,201
That's why l'm not
throwing it back your way.
162
00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:47,034
-Did you enjoy it?
-l stopped it.
163
00:08:47,106 --> 00:08:49,336
What do you mean? Who stops a whack-off?
164
00:08:49,409 --> 00:08:52,606
-l stopped it after 1 2 pumps.
-No wonder you're still uptight.
165
00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:55,876
You either do zero pumps
or a thousand pumps.
166
00:08:56,549 --> 00:08:57,982
l don't know how I did it.
167
00:08:58,051 --> 00:09:00,212
How did you do that?
What did you summon?
168
00:09:00,286 --> 00:09:02,447
l don't know how I did it.
169
00:09:02,522 --> 00:09:05,252
lf I stopped at 1 2 pumps,
l would tell my wife.
170
00:09:05,325 --> 00:09:08,226
l'd go home and say,
''Honey, I was getting a massage...
171
00:09:08,294 --> 00:09:10,762
''and I took 1 2 pumps
and I stopped 'cause I love you.''
172
00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:12,764
-l will never ever tell her.
-l would.
173
00:09:12,832 --> 00:09:16,529
And if your wife ever finds out,
you're a noble man, you made it stop.
174
00:09:16,603 --> 00:09:18,662
She's not gonna find out,
don't worry about it.
175
00:09:18,738 --> 00:09:20,000
All right.
176
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:22,407
Oh, my God.
177
00:09:22,876 --> 00:09:25,606
She's got an appointment with...
178
00:09:27,380 --> 00:09:28,813
that psychic today.
179
00:09:28,882 --> 00:09:31,908
-The hole-in-one psychic?
-l told you about that?
180
00:09:31,985 --> 00:09:33,009
Yeah.
181
00:09:33,086 --> 00:09:36,180
The psychic told his wife
he would hit a hole in one, and he did.
182
00:09:36,322 --> 00:09:39,519
-Could a psychic know something like that?
-She knew hole in one.
183
00:09:39,592 --> 00:09:41,150
You better stop her from going.
184
00:09:41,227 --> 00:09:43,627
-Larry, good seeing you.
-Good to see you, Mike.
185
00:09:43,696 --> 00:09:45,027
Don't forget the CBS meeting.
186
00:09:45,098 --> 00:09:47,658
CBS today, yeah, l'll see you there.
Don't be late.
187
00:09:47,734 --> 00:09:49,531
She's great, do you want her number?
188
00:09:49,602 --> 00:09:51,695
-Absolutely.
-Good.
189
00:09:54,307 --> 00:09:56,741
-Cheryl?
-Yes, l'm up here!
190
00:09:59,345 --> 00:10:00,403
-Hi.
-Hi.
191
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,778
-How was your massage?
-Good.
192
00:10:03,149 --> 00:10:05,777
Good. Guess what?
l have made plans for us tonight.
193
00:10:05,852 --> 00:10:08,878
-We're gonna celebrate your CBS deal.
-lt's not even--
194
00:10:08,955 --> 00:10:11,423
Listen, I have a limo
that's gonna pick us up.
195
00:10:11,557 --> 00:10:15,687
lt's gonna take us to Moho
for dinner at the W Hotel.
196
00:10:15,862 --> 00:10:17,796
And then if we're feeling frisky...
197
00:10:17,864 --> 00:10:20,162
then we can stay all night,
do whatever we want.
198
00:10:20,233 --> 00:10:23,134
l saw that guy
who manages the place, Rick Crane.
199
00:10:23,202 --> 00:10:27,366
l ran into him on the street the other day
and I didn't do a stop-and-chat.
200
00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,068
He wanted to stop and talk,
and I just kept walking...
201
00:10:30,143 --> 00:10:32,611
but I said hello,
but it could be a little touchy.
202
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:34,203
Why didn't you stop?
203
00:10:34,414 --> 00:10:37,645
lt's too awkward and horrible
to do those stop-and-chats.
204
00:10:37,717 --> 00:10:40,242
Don't worry about it.
l wouldn't worry about it.
205
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:44,313
-We probably won't even run into him.
-We have the meeting with CBS today.
206
00:10:44,390 --> 00:10:46,881
lt's not a done deal or anything.
l don't even know--
207
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,292
Come on, it's as good as done, right?
208
00:10:49,696 --> 00:10:52,631
Have you seen my keys?
l have an appointment with the psychic.
209
00:10:52,699 --> 00:10:56,533
l'm actually running late. I got them.
210
00:10:57,337 --> 00:11:01,433
-All right, I will see you later.
-Honey, I got a better idea.
211
00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:03,304
-What?
-Let's fool around.
212
00:11:03,376 --> 00:11:05,970
Right now? Listen, I have an appointment.
213
00:11:06,045 --> 00:11:08,070
Forget the psychic. Let's fool around.
214
00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:12,607
lt took me a long time to get this.
No, not right now!
215
00:11:12,986 --> 00:11:14,613
No means no!
216
00:11:16,322 --> 00:11:20,281
God, no, save it for tonight!
217
00:11:20,626 --> 00:11:24,357
Larry, no. Listen, I have got to get going.
218
00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:26,489
-You're gonna make me late.
-l've got a lump.
219
00:11:26,566 --> 00:11:28,534
l'm afraid she's gonna tell you about it!
220
00:11:28,601 --> 00:11:31,695
Do you hear what l'm saying? l'm dying!
221
00:11:32,972 --> 00:11:35,873
And that's the name of the show.:
Aren't you Evelyn?
222
00:11:36,576 --> 00:11:40,569
l like the edge of it because it's funny,
but it's a little quirky, too.
223
00:11:40,646 --> 00:11:43,740
This is all Larry's idea.
He came to my office and pitched it...
224
00:11:43,816 --> 00:11:46,046
and I immediately
just thought it was superb.
225
00:11:46,119 --> 00:11:49,418
And, Lar, hello?
226
00:11:49,722 --> 00:11:51,849
Hello? We're pitching.
227
00:11:53,359 --> 00:11:55,793
Did she offer you coffee or water
or something?
228
00:11:55,862 --> 00:11:59,389
She did. I don't want any,
but perhaps you'd like an espresso?
229
00:11:59,465 --> 00:12:02,457
-We can make you a latte here.
-l'm okay, thank you.
230
00:12:02,535 --> 00:12:05,629
-All right.
-You know, the thing that's hard...
231
00:12:06,873 --> 00:12:10,832
about having been on a successful show...
232
00:12:15,982 --> 00:12:18,951
is that it's great...
233
00:12:19,018 --> 00:12:21,145
but everybody identifies me with Elaine.
234
00:12:21,220 --> 00:12:23,017
Okay, so for instance...
235
00:12:23,089 --> 00:12:25,751
recently, I was skiing
with my family in Jackson Hole.
236
00:12:25,825 --> 00:12:29,818
And I was wearing the helmet, the goggles...
237
00:12:29,929 --> 00:12:33,387
the big, baggy clothes,
covered in snow, blah, blah, blah....
238
00:12:35,902 --> 00:12:38,097
l see your husband Larry.
239
00:12:38,371 --> 00:12:41,807
-Yeah, he getting a massage.
-Right.
240
00:12:42,575 --> 00:12:45,339
He getting more than just a massage.
241
00:12:45,545 --> 00:12:47,740
He's very happy.
242
00:12:50,083 --> 00:12:53,541
Yeah, he having sex with her hand!
243
00:12:54,554 --> 00:12:58,615
She pump 32 times, then....
244
00:13:00,393 --> 00:13:03,419
So, that is an example, don't you think?
245
00:13:03,496 --> 00:13:05,987
Larry, isn't that a good example...
246
00:13:06,065 --> 00:13:10,001
-of trying to....
-Like the skiing thing.
247
00:13:10,069 --> 00:13:14,096
-Like, when she was skiing.
-No, that's just what I said.
248
00:13:14,173 --> 00:13:17,472
l know. She was skiing
and then she had the problem.
249
00:13:17,543 --> 00:13:19,238
No, I said that, so--
250
00:13:19,312 --> 00:13:21,780
Situations like that
are gonna come up on the show.
251
00:13:21,848 --> 00:13:24,783
-Just like that.
-So, l'm thrilled that you're here.
252
00:13:24,851 --> 00:13:28,685
-l'm a huge fan of both of you, obviously.
-Thank you.
253
00:13:28,754 --> 00:13:30,915
And I love your idea...
254
00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:33,117
and we would love
to be in business with you.
255
00:13:33,192 --> 00:13:35,854
Great, terrific, fantastic!
256
00:13:35,928 --> 00:13:39,659
Talk further about casting
and further, you know.
257
00:13:39,732 --> 00:13:42,633
l've kind of gotta take off, l'll see you soon.
258
00:13:42,702 --> 00:13:45,227
-Thank you.
-Nice to see you.
259
00:13:45,304 --> 00:13:47,204
We'll be in touch.
260
00:13:55,815 --> 00:13:57,305
How did it go?
261
00:14:04,056 --> 00:14:06,183
lt went well, I think...
262
00:14:07,293 --> 00:14:10,353
l think they really liked the show. I think...
263
00:14:10,496 --> 00:14:12,589
l think they want to do it.
264
00:14:13,299 --> 00:14:15,790
Aren't you gonna ask me
how my appointment went?
265
00:14:15,868 --> 00:14:18,462
Right, the psychic. How did it go?
266
00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:24,866
l know everything, Larry.
267
00:14:25,378 --> 00:14:27,175
l know what happened.
268
00:14:27,547 --> 00:14:29,777
What happened?
What do you mean, ''What happened''?
269
00:14:29,849 --> 00:14:31,111
What happened, what happened?
270
00:14:31,184 --> 00:14:33,345
What are you talking about,
did something happen?
271
00:14:33,419 --> 00:14:34,818
-Yeah.
-What happened?
272
00:14:34,887 --> 00:14:37,014
That you're having an affair.
273
00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:39,281
l'm not having an affair!
274
00:14:40,726 --> 00:14:43,092
l know about it, she told me about it.
275
00:14:43,162 --> 00:14:45,722
She told you what? What did she tell you?
That's insane!
276
00:14:45,798 --> 00:14:49,894
She said that you're having an affair
with a woman with long, red hair...
277
00:14:49,969 --> 00:14:51,231
and a tattoo of a star.
278
00:14:51,304 --> 00:14:54,034
l have not touched another woman,
that's ridiculous.
279
00:14:54,106 --> 00:14:56,973
-l'm not having any affair!
-You're not having an affair.
280
00:14:57,043 --> 00:14:59,739
-No.
-Why would she make up a story like that?
281
00:14:59,812 --> 00:15:02,975
l don't know why she would.
Maybe she's an anti-Semite.
282
00:15:03,182 --> 00:15:04,479
l don't think so.
283
00:15:04,550 --> 00:15:05,744
-You don't think so?
-No.
284
00:15:05,818 --> 00:15:08,616
l'm sure there's some Korean anti-Semites.
285
00:15:09,956 --> 00:15:11,583
She's not Korean.
286
00:15:13,226 --> 00:15:14,557
She's American.
287
00:15:14,627 --> 00:15:16,561
She's American?
l thought you said her name was Kim.
288
00:15:16,629 --> 00:15:18,256
Her name is Kim.
289
00:15:19,799 --> 00:15:21,426
This is not the point.
290
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:25,095
The point is that she told me
this whole thing about you having an affair.
291
00:15:25,171 --> 00:15:29,198
-She's wrong.
-She seemed very sure of it.
292
00:15:30,576 --> 00:15:35,377
No, it's not true. l'm not having an affair.
l have never touched another woman.
293
00:15:35,448 --> 00:15:37,109
Never ever...
294
00:15:37,717 --> 00:15:40,151
ever, ever.
295
00:15:41,153 --> 00:15:45,283
lf you were having an affair,
you'd probably lie about it, wouldn't you?
296
00:15:45,625 --> 00:15:47,422
l would imagine I would.
297
00:15:47,493 --> 00:15:49,825
Then how do I know that this just isn't a lie?
298
00:15:49,895 --> 00:15:52,420
Because if I just told you
the truth about that...
299
00:15:52,498 --> 00:15:56,935
it means that l'm just a truthful person
who would tell you the truth about anything.
300
00:16:00,072 --> 00:16:01,869
No affair, sorry.
301
00:16:02,141 --> 00:16:04,507
-Promise.
-Who's gonna have an affair with me?
302
00:16:04,577 --> 00:16:06,772
l'm not a cool guy.
You gotta be cool to do that.
303
00:16:06,846 --> 00:16:08,279
-That's true.
-l couldn't do that.
304
00:16:08,347 --> 00:16:11,942
-l won't know how, what would I do?
-l don't know, you won't be good at it.
305
00:16:12,018 --> 00:16:14,646
lt took me six months
to even put a move on you.
306
00:16:14,787 --> 00:16:15,913
l know.
307
00:16:16,656 --> 00:16:19,784
She didn't say anything
about my health, right?
308
00:16:19,859 --> 00:16:22,054
-No.
-Come on.
309
00:16:24,397 --> 00:16:25,762
Seriously.
310
00:16:26,065 --> 00:16:28,727
l know, because I had this whole night
planned for us--
311
00:16:28,801 --> 00:16:32,328
We'll still have a great night.
Come on, I want to, we're gonna celebrate.
312
00:16:32,405 --> 00:16:34,965
-l got the thing, CBS, come on!
-l know.
313
00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:37,271
Come on, don't listen to this nonsense.
314
00:16:50,022 --> 00:16:52,081
-Thank you.
-You're very welcome.
315
00:16:52,158 --> 00:16:56,822
-You don't have to do that, I got it.
-l got it, it's my job.
316
00:16:56,896 --> 00:16:59,160
So what are you gonna do now?
317
00:16:59,231 --> 00:17:01,631
-l'll be in the car.
-You're waiting in the car?
318
00:17:01,701 --> 00:17:03,828
l'll be waiting in the car. l'll wait for you.
319
00:17:03,903 --> 00:17:06,497
-Okay, we'll be a couple of hours, I guess.
-That's great.
320
00:17:06,572 --> 00:17:08,699
-All right?
-That's fine, that's how it works.
321
00:17:08,774 --> 00:17:12,232
-Thank you. You guys enjoy your meal.
-Great, we're going to.
322
00:17:12,311 --> 00:17:14,040
-You'll be all right here?
-l'll be fine.
323
00:17:14,113 --> 00:17:15,637
Okay, thank you.
324
00:17:16,415 --> 00:17:19,282
Look at the size, why'd you get
a stretch limo? lt's gigantic.
325
00:17:19,352 --> 00:17:22,446
-'Cause we're celebrating.
-l know, but we could've got a town car.
326
00:17:22,521 --> 00:17:24,682
But that doesn't say we're celebrating.
327
00:17:26,792 --> 00:17:28,987
-What is this?
-A little bit of a line.
328
00:17:29,061 --> 00:17:31,962
-l'm not gonna wait for this.
-Just wait your turn.
329
00:17:32,031 --> 00:17:35,728
l'm joking, what's the matter with you?
l'm gonna push them out of the way.
330
00:17:35,801 --> 00:17:38,099
-You don't know sometimes.
-Good evening.
331
00:17:38,170 --> 00:17:41,139
-Hi, so nice to see you.
-So glad you could join us.
332
00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:43,505
-Thank you. Nice to meet you.
-How's it going?
333
00:17:43,943 --> 00:17:45,032
Good.
334
00:17:45,978 --> 00:17:48,276
-l'll seat you myself.
-Great.
335
00:17:48,347 --> 00:17:50,474
-Right this way.
-Thank you.
336
00:17:52,118 --> 00:17:54,746
-l hope this table's to your liking.
-Sure, thank you.
337
00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:57,220
-Very good, thank you.
-My pleasure.
338
00:17:57,289 --> 00:18:00,417
-A little chilly in here.
-Yeah, isn't it?
339
00:18:03,963 --> 00:18:06,329
-This is lovely.
-Did you hear this guy?
340
00:18:07,967 --> 00:18:10,731
Have you been catching on
what's going on here?
341
00:18:10,803 --> 00:18:13,897
-What's going on here?
-With this guy, what's going on?
342
00:18:14,573 --> 00:18:16,973
He's been completely snubbing me.
343
00:18:18,144 --> 00:18:21,204
lt's not even subtle, it's ridiculous.
Thank you.
344
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:23,748
-Hi, l'll be back for your drink order.
-Okay, thanks.
345
00:18:23,816 --> 00:18:27,582
You gotta stop and talk to people like
there's so much information to exchange.
346
00:18:27,653 --> 00:18:29,644
''Hello, how you doing?''
''How are you?'' ''Good.''
347
00:18:29,722 --> 00:18:31,815
''How's it going with you?'' ''Good.''
348
00:18:33,426 --> 00:18:35,485
''Okay, take it easy.''
349
00:18:35,561 --> 00:18:39,463
Are you gonna get an appetizer
or are you going straight to the main dish?
350
00:18:39,532 --> 00:18:40,692
l don't know.
351
00:18:40,766 --> 00:18:44,896
What'll we do about that driver, let him sit
in the car for the next couple of hours?
352
00:18:44,970 --> 00:18:46,028
That's his night?
353
00:18:46,105 --> 00:18:49,370
That's why he gets paid,
he sits there and waits. lt's not a bad job.
354
00:18:49,442 --> 00:18:53,208
l know. But l'm uncomfortable with him
just sitting out there waiting for us.
355
00:18:53,279 --> 00:18:56,806
-l feel like I have to hurry, you know?
-Didn't you used to drive a limo?
356
00:18:56,882 --> 00:19:00,875
-Did you do waiting? You had to wait.
-Yeah, I know, and I hated it.
357
00:19:04,156 --> 00:19:06,681
l've decided that
this is my favorite restaurant.
358
00:19:06,759 --> 00:19:11,423
-lt's really good, isn't it?
-The shrimp is so good, I can't get over it.
359
00:19:11,497 --> 00:19:14,159
Shrimp are great,
but I hate ordering the same thing.
360
00:19:14,233 --> 00:19:17,293
-What do you mean?
-We both got the same dish.
361
00:19:17,369 --> 00:19:20,532
Why? I wouldn't give you any of mine
if I had something different.
362
00:19:20,606 --> 00:19:24,098
What are we gonna do about dinner for,
what's his name, Greg, the driver?
363
00:19:26,045 --> 00:19:29,242
Should we buy him dinner?
l don't know what to do.
364
00:19:29,782 --> 00:19:31,807
-The limo guy?
-Yeah.
365
00:19:32,017 --> 00:19:34,850
How many times
are we gonna talk about Greg?
366
00:19:36,789 --> 00:19:39,223
He'll be hungry.
Should we order a dinner for him?
367
00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:41,316
No, I think it's too late for that.
368
00:19:43,662 --> 00:19:47,655
l got some leftovers here. Maybe l'll just
get him a doggie bag or something.
369
00:19:47,733 --> 00:19:50,531
ls that bad?
l don't have to eat these two shrimp.
370
00:19:50,603 --> 00:19:52,935
Are you gonna finish that shrimp?
Your last shrimp?
371
00:19:53,005 --> 00:19:55,599
Yes, I am gonna finish that, thank you.
372
00:19:56,842 --> 00:20:00,938
Boy, l'm almost full already.
And you're a shrimp ahead of me.
373
00:20:05,551 --> 00:20:08,145
What do you think, are you gonna eat that?
374
00:20:08,787 --> 00:20:11,620
No, l'm gonna give it to the limo driver.
375
00:20:13,492 --> 00:20:16,256
You don't have to,
you want to finish it, go ahead.
376
00:20:16,328 --> 00:20:18,728
-No, I don't want it now.
-Go ahead--
377
00:20:18,797 --> 00:20:21,061
No, l'm telling you l'm done.
378
00:20:31,076 --> 00:20:33,636
-l got you some food.
-That's great, thanks.
379
00:20:33,712 --> 00:20:35,236
Thank you so much.
380
00:20:35,314 --> 00:20:37,839
Yeah, there's some shrimp in there and....
381
00:20:38,284 --> 00:20:40,275
Just, like, leftovers?
382
00:20:42,154 --> 00:20:44,452
There's shrimp and....
383
00:20:44,523 --> 00:20:47,959
There's some rice in there.
But I didn't touch any of the shrimp.
384
00:20:48,027 --> 00:20:51,895
l divided the rice very carefully.
lt's all clean, it's all good.
385
00:20:51,964 --> 00:20:54,990
How am I supposed to eat?
There's no fork, there's no napkin.
386
00:20:55,434 --> 00:20:59,598
-l can't eat this.
-l'm sorry, I forgot the fork.
387
00:21:00,372 --> 00:21:01,839
l'll go....
388
00:21:03,242 --> 00:21:06,905
-l'll go get you a fork and a napkin.
-All right. That'd be great.
389
00:21:06,979 --> 00:21:09,038
-Sorry.
-That's fine.
390
00:21:09,982 --> 00:21:11,745
We should've got the guy a dinner.
391
00:21:11,817 --> 00:21:14,615
Giving him leftovers like that,
that was crazy.
392
00:21:14,687 --> 00:21:16,780
He should be happy
that you got him something.
393
00:21:16,855 --> 00:21:19,847
-Just sit down, honey.
-l gotta get him a fork.
394
00:21:19,925 --> 00:21:21,950
l didn't give him a fork.
395
00:21:22,728 --> 00:21:25,458
-You haven't even eaten your pie yet?
-l'm waiting for you.
396
00:21:25,531 --> 00:21:28,694
Okay. l'll give him a fork, l'll be right back.
397
00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:32,464
-You're going back out there?
-l gotta give the guy a fork.
398
00:21:33,305 --> 00:21:36,297
l'll be right back, okay? l'll be right back.
399
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,771
Larry, how's it going?
400
00:21:45,284 --> 00:21:47,844
-The food was sensational.
-Excellent.
401
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:49,080
Yeah, really spectacular.
402
00:21:49,154 --> 00:21:52,612
Wonderful, do you mind telling me
what you got in your pocket?
403
00:21:54,827 --> 00:21:57,295
-A pen.
-l was thinking of the other pocket.
404
00:21:57,730 --> 00:22:00,893
l got a napkin and a fork.
405
00:22:00,966 --> 00:22:03,958
There's a driver outside.
406
00:22:04,036 --> 00:22:08,530
Pardon me for suggesting this, but it seems
like you're walking out with our silverware.
407
00:22:09,441 --> 00:22:11,602
l am, in a way, but l'm not stealing it.
408
00:22:11,677 --> 00:22:16,205
l'm just borrowing it for a minute, and
letting him eat his meal, then l'll get it back.
409
00:22:16,281 --> 00:22:19,682
We're having dessert. l'll give him
two minutes, and get back the fork.
410
00:22:19,752 --> 00:22:21,549
l call that stealing.
411
00:22:22,588 --> 00:22:24,556
Okay, I know what this is about.
412
00:22:24,623 --> 00:22:27,717
You're upset, the other day
when I saw you on the street...
413
00:22:27,793 --> 00:22:30,227
and I didn't do a little stop-and-chat.
414
00:22:30,362 --> 00:22:34,355
You know what,
l'm not good at artificial small talk.
415
00:22:34,433 --> 00:22:38,733
-''Hello, how are you?'' kind of thing.
-l don't know what you're talking about.
416
00:22:39,805 --> 00:22:43,241
-Could you wait right there?
-What? What are you doing?
417
00:22:43,308 --> 00:22:44,832
l'm gonna call the police.
418
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:52,439
You'll be appearing
at the West Los Angeles municipal court.
419
00:22:53,652 --> 00:22:56,485
-Judge Katz.
-That's a lovely building.
420
00:22:56,555 --> 00:22:59,718
-Yeah, you're gonna like that.
-lf you could sign right here, please.
421
00:22:59,792 --> 00:23:02,158
All right, I guess in hindsight...
422
00:23:02,227 --> 00:23:04,957
l probably should've
let the guy eat with his hands.
423
00:23:05,030 --> 00:23:07,362
That would've been
the better thing to do, right?
424
00:23:07,433 --> 00:23:09,128
Just have him get it all over his face...
425
00:23:09,201 --> 00:23:12,261
and have dogs come up maybe
and lick it off him.
426
00:23:12,337 --> 00:23:14,032
That's really what I should've done.
427
00:23:14,106 --> 00:23:17,837
Sir, you'll have every opportunity
to present your case to Judge Katz.
428
00:23:17,910 --> 00:23:20,242
-The court date is on the back.
-Okay.
429
00:23:20,312 --> 00:23:23,577
-And you have a good evening.
-Yes, you, too, thank you very much.
430
00:23:27,786 --> 00:23:32,189
Oh, God, the driver.
Shit, I completely forgot.
431
00:23:32,257 --> 00:23:34,555
l am so sorry.
432
00:23:36,995 --> 00:23:41,398
l had the fork, and the guy caught me taking
the fork out of the restaurant...
433
00:23:41,467 --> 00:23:42,991
and he called the police.
434
00:23:43,068 --> 00:23:47,198
-l have to go before a judge!
-Don't worry about it, l'm okay, thanks.
435
00:23:47,272 --> 00:23:51,140
-Did you eat the food?
-No, l'll get something on the way home.
436
00:23:51,643 --> 00:23:54,737
-Don't worry about it, l'm good.
-l'm sorry.
437
00:23:55,848 --> 00:23:58,783
So l'll maybe call you next week?
438
00:24:12,097 --> 00:24:14,190
-That was great, thank you.
-You're welcome.
439
00:24:17,402 --> 00:24:18,767
Excuse me.
440
00:24:20,439 --> 00:24:24,375
l'm sorry, I know
this sounds strange. I just....
441
00:24:25,310 --> 00:24:27,904
Do you have a tattoo of a star?
442
00:24:29,615 --> 00:24:31,207
How did you know that?
443
00:24:31,283 --> 00:24:34,116
-Can I just--
-Yeah, on my arm, that's wild.
444
00:24:35,654 --> 00:24:37,679
Cheryl, what are you doing?
445
00:24:38,624 --> 00:24:39,784
Larry?
446
00:24:49,501 --> 00:24:53,403
ln the matter of Larry David,
the record reflect the presence of Mr. David.
447
00:24:53,472 --> 00:24:55,565
This case is here for sentencing.
448
00:24:55,674 --> 00:24:59,007
Mr. David, you wish to be heard
before I impose sentence on you?
449
00:24:59,077 --> 00:25:03,013
Yes, Judge Katz.
And may I say, ''Shabbat shalom. ''
450
00:25:03,749 --> 00:25:07,742
What happened is simply
that I was trying to...
451
00:25:08,453 --> 00:25:10,944
bring a fork to a working man...
452
00:25:11,023 --> 00:25:13,753
who was a driver, a limousine driver...
453
00:25:13,826 --> 00:25:16,522
and he had dinner,
but he did not have a fork to eat it....
454
00:25:16,595 --> 00:25:19,564
All I was did was attempted
to bring him a fork and a napkin...
455
00:25:19,631 --> 00:25:24,159
so he wouldn't have to eat with his hands
and get it all over his face and his clothing.
456
00:25:24,236 --> 00:25:27,967
And it was only
out of some personal animus...
457
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,942
that the restaurateur had toward me
because I ran into him on the street...
458
00:25:32,010 --> 00:25:34,740
and I didn't stop
and have a little chat with him.
459
00:25:34,813 --> 00:25:38,749
You know, I don't like to make
little chit-chat on the street.
460
00:25:38,817 --> 00:25:41,877
l like to have a real conversation
with people.
461
00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:46,250
lt's touching what you tell me.
lt seems to me there was an indication...
462
00:25:46,325 --> 00:25:49,522
that you were gonna do what you wanted,
when you wanted...
463
00:25:49,595 --> 00:25:51,790
because you feel because of your celebrity...
464
00:25:51,864 --> 00:25:54,424
somehow you can do things
without consequences.
465
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,633
Mr. David, I need your help in this.
466
00:25:57,703 --> 00:26:00,604
Obviously, a fine isn't going to do anything.
467
00:26:00,672 --> 00:26:03,505
lt just won't mean anything to you,
you have too much money.
468
00:26:03,575 --> 00:26:07,170
So, what do you expect this court to do
for the public to understand...
469
00:26:07,246 --> 00:26:10,113
l'm not according you
any special treatment?
470
00:26:14,052 --> 00:26:17,852
l could work at the temple
on Saturday mornings...
471
00:26:19,424 --> 00:26:21,483
hand out tallises and yarmulkes.
472
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:25,189
And you think this is a fitting punishment?
lsn't it a joy?
473
00:26:25,264 --> 00:26:28,665
Temple can be quite grueling,
as you well know.
474
00:26:29,968 --> 00:26:32,596
You know, Mr. David,
l've been thinking about this.
475
00:26:32,671 --> 00:26:34,002
And you know what l'm gonna do?
476
00:26:34,072 --> 00:26:37,940
l'm gonna give you a sentence
that will guarantee...
477
00:26:38,377 --> 00:26:42,177
that you will never, ever do this again.
478
00:26:58,030 --> 00:27:00,021
l swear to God, l'm not lying.
479
00:27:02,401 --> 00:27:04,096
Hi, Larry.
480
00:27:08,774 --> 00:27:10,639
l didn't beat my wife.
481
00:27:12,311 --> 00:27:13,403
How's the shrimp, Al?
482
00:27:13,478 --> 00:27:16,038
Are you enjoying the shrimp
from the Chinese restaurant?
483
00:27:17,649 --> 00:27:18,911
Evening.
484
00:27:29,528 --> 00:27:32,019
That was a water bottle in my pants.
485
00:27:32,698 --> 00:27:34,222
A water bottle!
486
00:27:34,299 --> 00:27:36,995
Here's a good question
for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.:
487
00:27:37,069 --> 00:27:38,934
''What idiot runs ABC?''
488
00:27:40,138 --> 00:27:42,231
But l'm not gonna....
489
00:27:51,450 --> 00:27:53,042
lt's a long story.
490
00:27:54,386 --> 00:27:58,117
l was trying to help a driver,
a working man...
491
00:27:58,824 --> 00:28:01,691
so he wouldn't have to eat with his hands...
492
00:28:02,227 --> 00:28:05,958
Miss CBS bigwig.