1 00:00:05,024 --> 00:00:08,025 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:00:11,797 --> 00:00:14,832 No hanky-panky, Mr. Beshraavi, 3 00:00:14,867 --> 00:00:16,733 from man or bird. 4 00:00:16,768 --> 00:00:19,336 Believe him, Nejim. He means it. 5 00:00:19,371 --> 00:00:21,138 He said he'd kill me. 6 00:00:21,173 --> 00:00:23,841 (ZIPPING LUGGAGE) 7 00:00:23,876 --> 00:00:25,608 (DOOR OPENS) 8 00:00:25,644 --> 00:00:27,644 (RUSTLING) 9 00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:30,147 POLLACK: Get him, Mustafa. 10 00:00:30,182 --> 00:00:32,615 Hey, hold that door! Hold that door! 11 00:00:32,651 --> 00:00:35,752 - (CHATTER OVER PA) Flight 3... - What? Hold the door! 12 00:00:35,787 --> 00:00:37,855 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - That's my flight to Los Angeles! 13 00:00:37,890 --> 00:00:39,789 - I'm so sorry. You just missed it. - I'm on that flight. 14 00:00:39,825 --> 00:00:41,758 - Look, I made the plane, I'm here! - You were so close... 15 00:00:41,793 --> 00:00:42,794 - What?! - ... but unfortunately, 16 00:00:42,795 --> 00:00:43,927 the door is locked and closed. 17 00:00:43,963 --> 00:00:45,495 - You're not letting me on the plane? - I know it's frustrating, 18 00:00:45,530 --> 00:00:47,464 but once the door closes, that's it. 19 00:00:47,499 --> 00:00:48,765 Federal regulations. 20 00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:51,834 I got caught up watching this movie in the hotel, 21 00:00:51,870 --> 00:00:55,371 "Arabesque," with Sophia Loren and Gregory Peck. 22 00:00:55,406 --> 00:00:57,273 - Mm-hmm. - Please let me in here. 23 00:00:57,308 --> 00:00:59,342 It's so ridiculous. There's the plane right there. 24 00:00:59,377 --> 00:01:02,411 But, really, it's as if the plane's not there. 25 00:01:02,446 --> 00:01:04,146 Wha... are you a magician? 26 00:01:04,182 --> 00:01:06,082 - No, but the door is locked. - I see the plane. 27 00:01:06,117 --> 00:01:08,084 If you're doing a trick, it's not a good trick. 28 00:01:08,119 --> 00:01:10,086 I'm trying my best to accommodate you. 29 00:01:10,121 --> 00:01:11,921 It doesn't seem like it. You're not golden-ruling it. 30 00:01:11,956 --> 00:01:14,456 You're not doing unto others as you would have others do unto you. 31 00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:17,693 Unfortunately, the golden rule is not a federal regulation. 32 00:01:17,728 --> 00:01:19,362 Golden rule trumps everything. 33 00:01:19,397 --> 00:01:22,265 Golden rule's on top, federal law is second. 34 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:25,768 Good news... we do have one seat left 35 00:01:25,803 --> 00:01:27,270 on the next available flight. 36 00:01:27,305 --> 00:01:30,939 - First class? - No, but it's an aisle seat, 37 00:01:30,974 --> 00:01:32,140 which is kind of a miracle. 38 00:01:32,175 --> 00:01:33,975 So you do have a little time 39 00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:36,744 to enjoy our amazing mall here. 40 00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:39,514 - We have a Wetzel's Pretzels... - A Wetzel's Pretzels. 41 00:01:39,549 --> 00:01:44,019 I can't wait to chomp into one of those Wetzel's Pretzels. 42 00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,020 They're delicious. 43 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,889 - Good afternoon. Welcome aboard. - Hi. 44 00:01:47,925 --> 00:01:50,125 11C... straight down and on the right, sir. 45 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,527 Are there any first-class seats open? 46 00:01:52,562 --> 00:01:53,694 No, it's a full flight, sir. 47 00:01:53,730 --> 00:01:57,698 Look, there's an empty seat over here. 48 00:01:57,734 --> 00:01:59,467 Straight down, right-hand side. 49 00:01:59,502 --> 00:02:01,602 - Hello. - If somebody doesn't show up, though, 50 00:02:01,638 --> 00:02:03,738 you let me know, okay? 51 00:02:03,773 --> 00:02:05,640 And, you know, we can work something out. 52 00:02:05,675 --> 00:02:08,209 I can pay you separately, perhaps. 53 00:02:08,245 --> 00:02:10,578 ATTENDANT: Go to your seat, please, sir. Thank you. 54 00:02:14,516 --> 00:02:16,616 Hey, what are you doing? I just opened this up for me. 55 00:02:16,652 --> 00:02:17,985 - What are you doing? - That's my spot right there. 56 00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:19,653 I don't care. That doesn't mean anything. 57 00:02:19,688 --> 00:02:20,988 This is filled up. I'm using this. 58 00:02:21,023 --> 00:02:22,189 I don't know what to tell you, buddy. 59 00:02:22,224 --> 00:02:23,457 It's the Wild West, okay, so. 60 00:02:25,428 --> 00:02:27,794 (GRUNTING) 61 00:02:32,701 --> 00:02:34,335 (SIGHS) 62 00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:35,702 Larry. 63 00:02:35,737 --> 00:02:37,671 - Nathan Winocur. - Hey, Doctor. 64 00:02:37,706 --> 00:02:39,406 - Friend of Marty's. - Yeah. 65 00:02:39,442 --> 00:02:41,375 - Good to see ya. - Nice to see you. 66 00:02:41,410 --> 00:02:42,909 Ocean View, right? 67 00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:45,112 That's right. We should play a round. 68 00:02:45,147 --> 00:02:47,481 - We should play. - Let's do that. I'll talk to Marty. 69 00:02:47,516 --> 00:02:49,950 - And I'll get Jeff. You know Jeff? - I love Jeff. 70 00:02:49,986 --> 00:02:52,319 - That's a great foursome. - Yeah, it's a good foursome. 71 00:02:52,355 --> 00:02:54,387 - NATHAN: Great. - Uh, I think I'm there. 72 00:02:54,422 --> 00:02:57,824 Okay, that's me. Thank you. 73 00:03:13,809 --> 00:03:16,342 ATTENDANT: Sir, sir, I'm sorry. This is for first-class passengers. 74 00:03:16,378 --> 00:03:19,379 - I know, but I... I... - Your ticket's for 11C, sir. 75 00:03:19,414 --> 00:03:20,847 I know, but nobody's sitting there. 76 00:03:20,883 --> 00:03:22,649 Could you give me, like, a personal upgrade, 77 00:03:22,684 --> 00:03:24,751 and I can upgrade you, and... 78 00:03:24,786 --> 00:03:27,353 - Sir. - No? Okay. 79 00:03:29,457 --> 00:03:30,757 (SIGHS) 80 00:03:30,792 --> 00:03:33,292 Sir, can I ask you a really big favor? 81 00:03:33,328 --> 00:03:35,995 I have a medical condition 82 00:03:36,031 --> 00:03:39,232 where I have to... my bladder's really overactive. 83 00:03:39,267 --> 00:03:40,933 I have a bladder condition, 84 00:03:40,968 --> 00:03:43,102 and I have to get up a lot. 85 00:03:43,138 --> 00:03:44,970 Is there any way I could sit in the aisle 86 00:03:45,006 --> 00:03:47,040 and you would want to switch to the middle? 87 00:03:47,075 --> 00:03:49,375 I can't switch seats with you. 88 00:03:49,411 --> 00:03:51,810 I mean, I got the... I can't sit in the middle. 89 00:03:51,846 --> 00:03:53,779 It's claustro... claustrophobic in there. 90 00:03:53,814 --> 00:03:56,949 It's okay. I just have to ask because I'm up so often. 91 00:03:56,984 --> 00:03:58,251 - I'm sorry. - I'll die in the middle. 92 00:03:58,286 --> 00:03:59,952 It's so painful, too. 93 00:03:59,987 --> 00:04:02,321 Just wanna see where the bathrooms are so I know, 94 00:04:02,357 --> 00:04:04,657 - 'cause it's gonna be a run. - (SIGHS) Okay, fine. 95 00:04:04,692 --> 00:04:06,992 Really? 96 00:04:07,028 --> 00:04:09,828 You are such a gentleman. Thank you so much. 97 00:04:09,864 --> 00:04:10,963 You're welcome. 98 00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:14,300 Heh-hey, my lucky day. 99 00:04:14,335 --> 00:04:17,102 (SCOFFS) Yeah, mine, too. 100 00:04:17,137 --> 00:04:20,673 (MAN COUGHING) 101 00:04:23,644 --> 00:04:25,310 I'm just looking for the little thing. 102 00:04:25,345 --> 00:04:28,313 - NATHAN: Gotta buckle up. - (SIGHS) Jesus Christ. 103 00:04:28,348 --> 00:04:30,082 NATHAN: Give it here. 104 00:04:41,562 --> 00:04:43,462 Oh, come on. 105 00:04:43,497 --> 00:04:45,631 (COUGHING) 106 00:04:45,666 --> 00:04:47,199 Can I grab one of your Kleenex, please? 107 00:04:47,234 --> 00:04:48,533 Oh. 108 00:04:48,569 --> 00:04:50,736 I just got... I think it's just allergies. 109 00:04:50,771 --> 00:04:52,605 (SNIFFLES) 110 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,506 (BLOWS NOSE) 111 00:04:54,541 --> 00:04:56,341 Oh, man. 112 00:04:56,376 --> 00:04:58,610 (COUGHING) 113 00:05:02,515 --> 00:05:04,415 No. No. 114 00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:05,483 No. 115 00:05:10,323 --> 00:05:11,990 ATTENDANT: Sir, if I could just have you open your eyes 116 00:05:12,025 --> 00:05:14,191 - so I can see your pupils. - (MAN GROANS) 117 00:05:14,227 --> 00:05:16,794 If you could just try and relax a little bit. 118 00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:19,263 - Long, deep breaths. - ATTENDANT #2 OVER PA: Excuse me, everyone. 119 00:05:19,298 --> 00:05:21,365 One of our passengers has taken ill. 120 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:22,967 If there's a doctor onboard, 121 00:05:23,003 --> 00:05:25,569 can you please ring your call button? 122 00:05:25,605 --> 00:05:27,271 ATTENDANT: Now, sir, are you currently... 123 00:05:27,306 --> 00:05:29,741 Hey, they're asking for a doctor. 124 00:05:29,776 --> 00:05:31,943 - Mm-mmm. - Huh? 125 00:05:31,978 --> 00:05:33,210 You're not gonna heed the call? 126 00:05:33,246 --> 00:05:35,446 Give it a minute. He's gonna be fine. 127 00:05:35,481 --> 00:05:37,949 (SCOFFS) How do you know? You don't even know what he has. 128 00:05:37,984 --> 00:05:40,100 You ever been part of an emergency landing? 129 00:05:40,101 --> 00:05:41,101 Is that what you want, Larry? 130 00:05:41,113 --> 00:05:42,986 To spend the night in Lubbock, Texas, at a Days Inn 131 00:05:43,022 --> 00:05:45,221 with a $15 voucher from Cinnabon? 132 00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:47,257 Think about it. 133 00:05:49,061 --> 00:05:50,927 (SCOFFS) 134 00:05:52,097 --> 00:05:53,664 Excuse me. 135 00:05:53,699 --> 00:05:55,231 I'd like to use the bathroom. 136 00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,767 (GROANS) Okay. 137 00:05:56,802 --> 00:05:58,468 - Here. - Thank you. 138 00:06:01,974 --> 00:06:03,774 Yeah, don't... don't move too much. 139 00:06:03,809 --> 00:06:05,508 - Don't get up. - (SIGHS) 140 00:06:05,544 --> 00:06:06,843 Ow! 141 00:06:06,879 --> 00:06:10,446 Ah! Why don't you move your foot, for God's sake?! 142 00:06:13,652 --> 00:06:15,418 I'm so glad I ran into you on this flight. 143 00:06:15,453 --> 00:06:16,820 I'll call up Marty. We'll set up a game. 144 00:06:16,855 --> 00:06:18,421 Yeah, yeah, we'll play. 145 00:06:18,456 --> 00:06:20,290 Oh, you got up. 146 00:06:20,325 --> 00:06:23,059 By the way, that's the first time that you got up the entire trip. 147 00:06:23,094 --> 00:06:25,528 That was a total bullshit story about the bladder. 148 00:06:25,564 --> 00:06:28,130 - I have a medical condition. - Medical. 149 00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:29,699 (MOCKING) You got a medical condition. 150 00:06:29,734 --> 00:06:31,534 She's got a medical condition. 151 00:06:31,570 --> 00:06:33,536 One day, you're... you're gonna really have to go to the bathroom, 152 00:06:33,572 --> 00:06:34,737 and no one's gonna let you. 153 00:06:34,772 --> 00:06:36,339 I had to sit in the middle 154 00:06:36,374 --> 00:06:38,074 the entire trip because of you! 155 00:06:45,283 --> 00:06:46,583 Thank you. 156 00:06:48,684 --> 00:06:49,884 _ 157 00:06:50,622 --> 00:06:52,355 Welcome back. 158 00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:54,424 - Thank you. - (CHUCKLES) 159 00:06:54,459 --> 00:06:56,859 Nice to be home. Is that your handiwork? 160 00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,428 Fuck, no. I wouldn't do that shit. 161 00:06:58,463 --> 00:07:01,097 You know what, that's not gonna make me wash a car. 162 00:07:01,132 --> 00:07:02,598 If anything, I'm not gonna wash it. 163 00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:04,633 - I wouldn't wash it. - Just to annoy this guy. 164 00:07:04,668 --> 00:07:06,869 I assume it's a guy. A woman wouldn't do something like that. 165 00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,137 Ladies don't do that kind of shit. 166 00:07:08,172 --> 00:07:10,906 Ladies bust windows out and slash tires 167 00:07:10,942 --> 00:07:12,274 and key your car and shit. 168 00:07:12,309 --> 00:07:14,744 "Wash me." This is what I'm gonna do. 169 00:07:16,814 --> 00:07:18,047 - (CHUCKLES) I like that shit. - Huh? 170 00:07:18,082 --> 00:07:19,949 You like that? See the comma after "no"? 171 00:07:19,984 --> 00:07:21,316 - No! - That's good grammar. 172 00:07:21,352 --> 00:07:23,052 - You wash me! You wash me! - Yeah. 173 00:07:23,087 --> 00:07:24,386 - Yeah. - I like that shit. 174 00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:26,889 Hey, did you ever see this movie "Arabesque"? 175 00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:29,058 Nah. Is that one of those "Star Trek" movies? 176 00:07:29,093 --> 00:07:31,692 No, no. It's an old movie with Sophia Loren. 177 00:07:31,728 --> 00:07:34,162 - She's gorgeous. - Is she naked in the movie? 178 00:07:34,197 --> 00:07:35,529 No, it was... it was from the '60s. 179 00:07:35,565 --> 00:07:37,232 Nobody... nobody got naked in the '60s. 180 00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:39,033 She's gotta be naked in something. 181 00:07:39,069 --> 00:07:40,869 Well, if you come across anything, let me know. 182 00:07:40,904 --> 00:07:42,036 You know I'ma look. 183 00:07:43,539 --> 00:07:45,974 He refused to see the person? 184 00:07:46,009 --> 00:07:47,942 He did not heed the call! 185 00:07:47,978 --> 00:07:49,377 I don't know what happened on the plane, 186 00:07:49,412 --> 00:07:51,412 but he's a great guy to play golf with. 187 00:07:51,447 --> 00:07:52,580 Very surprising. 188 00:07:52,615 --> 00:07:53,815 Do you care about the character 189 00:07:53,850 --> 00:07:55,116 of people you play golf with 190 00:07:55,152 --> 00:07:56,785 if they leave you alone on the course? 191 00:07:56,820 --> 00:07:58,452 No, I'm happy to play with a reprobate 192 00:07:58,488 --> 00:07:59,654 if he has a good personality 193 00:07:59,655 --> 00:08:00,655 and I enjoy playing with him. 194 00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:01,690 I'll play with reprobates. 195 00:08:01,724 --> 00:08:03,491 - Yeah? - Oh, really? 196 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:05,960 - Yes. - You, Manson, Ramirez, and Hitler. 197 00:08:05,996 --> 00:08:08,429 - That's a good foursome. - If they play fast. 198 00:08:08,464 --> 00:08:10,831 - If they play fast. - I'd rather play with a fast Manson 199 00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:12,900 than a slow Funkhouser, I'll tell you that. 200 00:08:12,935 --> 00:08:16,003 - Any day of the week. - Yeah, you're a little slow. 201 00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,238 I line my ball up, I look, I hit it. 202 00:08:18,274 --> 00:08:21,575 Hey, Lar, did I tell you that we hired a decorator for the new house? 203 00:08:21,611 --> 00:08:24,412 I'm going up to meet her Sunday in San Francisco. 204 00:08:24,447 --> 00:08:26,113 Jeff, you're taking me to the airport, 1:00. 205 00:08:26,148 --> 00:08:28,248 Don't forget. Don't make any plans. 206 00:08:28,284 --> 00:08:30,451 - Airport... oh, God. - Why does he have to take you to the airport? 207 00:08:30,486 --> 00:08:32,620 - He's gotta see me off. - See you off? 208 00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:34,922 You're not going to India. You're going to San Francisco! 209 00:08:34,957 --> 00:08:36,590 - It's an hour away. - So what? 210 00:08:36,626 --> 00:08:38,125 See you off? You'll be back that night. 211 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,127 You know what, Larry, it's not surprising to me 212 00:08:40,162 --> 00:08:43,230 that you're the only one of this group who's here as a single... 213 00:08:43,265 --> 00:08:45,065 - (CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah. - ... with no girlfriend, no wife. 214 00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:48,267 Maybe if you would've seen Cheryl off a few more times, 215 00:08:48,303 --> 00:08:50,337 - you'd still be together. - I don't think so. 216 00:08:50,372 --> 00:08:53,440 - He wants to, trust me. - No, trust me, he doesn't. 217 00:08:53,475 --> 00:08:55,174 - Jeff, do you want to? - No. 218 00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:57,344 - Well, you're going to. - You know why you're doing this? 219 00:08:57,379 --> 00:09:00,279 - Why, Larry? - Because you wanna ruin his day, that's why. 220 00:09:00,315 --> 00:09:02,281 SUSIE: Okay, Kreskin. Could read my mind. 221 00:09:02,317 --> 00:09:03,750 You think you know what goes on 222 00:09:03,785 --> 00:09:05,618 in the complexities of my brain 223 00:09:05,654 --> 00:09:08,020 and who I am. 224 00:09:08,056 --> 00:09:10,657 - The complexities of who you are? - Mm-hmm. 225 00:09:10,692 --> 00:09:13,860 Who are you? You're a Jew from the Bronx! 226 00:09:13,895 --> 00:09:15,595 JEFF: I can't wait to see her off. 227 00:09:15,630 --> 00:09:18,030 - I really like your friends. - They're very lovely people. 228 00:09:18,066 --> 00:09:20,700 Okay! 229 00:09:20,736 --> 00:09:23,869 Please do not sit on the arm of the chair. 230 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,773 Dinner is served. 231 00:09:27,808 --> 00:09:29,641 - Yeah, all right. - SUSIE: Yay, yay. 232 00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:31,076 - JEFF: Yeah! - I like it. 233 00:09:31,111 --> 00:09:33,679 - Did you fucking catch that? - I caught it! 234 00:09:33,714 --> 00:09:35,146 What the fuck? 235 00:09:35,182 --> 00:09:38,216 Oh, oh, oh. Honey, you forgot your drink. 236 00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:40,786 Thanks. 237 00:09:40,821 --> 00:09:43,121 SUSIE: Oh, Marilyn, the table's gorgeous! 238 00:09:43,156 --> 00:09:44,356 - Hey. - Huh? 239 00:09:44,392 --> 00:09:47,058 You ever called her honey before? 240 00:09:47,094 --> 00:09:49,194 I doubt it. No. 241 00:09:49,229 --> 00:09:50,396 How many dates have you been on? 242 00:09:50,431 --> 00:09:51,597 - Two. - Pssh! 243 00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:53,932 You just gave a premature honey. 244 00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:55,133 I gotta tell you something. 245 00:09:55,168 --> 00:09:56,334 - A premature honey? - Yeah. 246 00:09:56,370 --> 00:09:58,069 Premature, too soon for honey. 247 00:09:58,105 --> 00:09:59,671 Honey's way down the line. 248 00:09:59,707 --> 00:10:01,406 You gotta spend a weekend together 249 00:10:01,441 --> 00:10:04,008 or something in the country before you can jump to honey. 250 00:10:04,043 --> 00:10:05,376 I know what you're trying to do, 251 00:10:05,412 --> 00:10:07,044 you're trying to jump ahead with the relationship. 252 00:10:07,079 --> 00:10:09,547 But it doesn't work. You got caught. 253 00:10:09,582 --> 00:10:11,749 - You're blowing this way out of proportion. - Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 254 00:10:11,785 --> 00:10:13,651 - She doesn't care, Dr. Phil. - Okay. 255 00:10:13,686 --> 00:10:15,720 You don't know what you're talking about. 256 00:10:15,755 --> 00:10:17,388 - I think you made a big mistake. - Everything is cool, man. 257 00:10:17,424 --> 00:10:20,224 Can I take a moment, please? 258 00:10:20,259 --> 00:10:23,027 On behalf of my adorable new girlfriend, 259 00:10:23,062 --> 00:10:25,396 thank you for a delicious dinner. 260 00:10:25,432 --> 00:10:26,864 - Thank you for coming. - Cheers. 261 00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:28,065 RICHARD: Cheers. Prego. 262 00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:29,534 Marty, cheers. 263 00:10:29,569 --> 00:10:31,201 - MARTY: Health, happiness. - So nice to meet you. 264 00:10:31,237 --> 00:10:32,970 - Thank you for having us. - MARTY: Yes, very nice. 265 00:10:33,005 --> 00:10:34,839 - You can't clink, Larry? - Why do I have to clink? 266 00:10:34,874 --> 00:10:36,473 Because it's a custom that people do, 267 00:10:36,508 --> 00:10:37,674 - which is friendly and nice. - It's a stupid custom. 268 00:10:37,709 --> 00:10:39,543 What does it mean, the clinking? 269 00:10:39,578 --> 00:10:41,578 - Oh. - RICHARD: Cheers. 270 00:10:41,613 --> 00:10:43,247 Mmm. 271 00:10:43,282 --> 00:10:47,184 You know, you pick up a knife like this, a steak knife, 272 00:10:47,219 --> 00:10:49,753 you get the urge... I do... that I wanna... 273 00:10:49,788 --> 00:10:52,589 I wanna stab... I wanna stab with it. 274 00:10:52,624 --> 00:10:54,158 - Oh? - JEFF: Really? 275 00:10:54,193 --> 00:10:56,327 Yeah, 'cause you pick up a baseball bat, you wanna swing it. 276 00:10:56,362 --> 00:10:58,295 You pick up a tennis ball, you wanna throw it. 277 00:10:58,331 --> 00:10:59,930 When you have a... a knife, 278 00:10:59,966 --> 00:11:01,731 you wanna stab, do you not? 279 00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:03,667 - Yeah, a little bit. - Huh? Know what they should have? 280 00:11:03,702 --> 00:11:06,337 - RICHARD: What's that? - A stabbing range. 281 00:11:06,372 --> 00:11:09,072 - RICHARD: Get out of here. - Yeah, a stabbing range where you can stab... 282 00:11:09,107 --> 00:11:10,639 - stab dummies. - RICHARD: Wow. 283 00:11:10,675 --> 00:11:12,208 LARRY: You'd feel good. You'd feel good. 284 00:11:12,243 --> 00:11:13,642 Where would the stabbing range be? 285 00:11:13,678 --> 00:11:16,145 - In the Valley. - (ALL LAUGHING) 286 00:11:16,181 --> 00:11:17,780 What do you think, Marilyn? 287 00:11:17,815 --> 00:11:19,548 The knife... do you feel like stabbing somebody? 288 00:11:19,584 --> 00:11:21,851 Yeah, I feel like stabbing someone. 289 00:11:23,888 --> 00:11:26,555 Hmm, interesting. 290 00:11:26,591 --> 00:11:28,324 RICHARD: This is fantastic food. 291 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,026 - Thank you. - It really is. 292 00:11:30,061 --> 00:11:32,595 WOMAN: Yeah, I can never get my potatoes like that. 293 00:11:32,630 --> 00:11:34,163 - MARILYN: Mmm. - WOMAN: They're really good. 294 00:11:34,199 --> 00:11:36,132 What is this, tap? 295 00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:37,666 Yes, it is. 296 00:11:37,702 --> 00:11:39,969 LARRY: No filter? 297 00:11:40,005 --> 00:11:41,270 No filter. Tap water. 298 00:11:41,306 --> 00:11:42,472 Huh, interesting. 299 00:11:42,507 --> 00:11:44,373 Surprised you don't have a filter. 300 00:11:44,408 --> 00:11:46,141 You have no filter. 301 00:11:46,176 --> 00:11:48,377 - (CHUCKLES) Huh, that's... yeah. - Isn't it obvious? 302 00:11:48,412 --> 00:11:51,279 - That's true. - You just say whatever comes into your mind. 303 00:11:51,315 --> 00:11:54,583 You don't really modulate your inner feelings at all, do you? 304 00:11:54,619 --> 00:11:57,252 It's a good thing for me, but it's a bad thing for water. 305 00:11:57,287 --> 00:12:00,789 Excuse me, I smell something burning. 306 00:12:02,727 --> 00:12:04,026 - RICHARD: LD. - Hmm? 307 00:12:04,061 --> 00:12:07,029 Goldfish would commit suicide in this water. 308 00:12:07,064 --> 00:12:10,399 (SCOFFS) Yeah! Wha... how come you didn't say that when she was there? 309 00:12:10,434 --> 00:12:12,334 You know, I'm a guest. I don't know. 310 00:12:12,369 --> 00:12:14,302 You're like Fred MacMurray in "The Caine Mutiny" 311 00:12:14,338 --> 00:12:16,804 when he and Van Johnson go to see the admiral, 312 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,907 then Fred MacMurray gets cold feet and he backs out. 313 00:12:18,942 --> 00:12:20,408 That's a movie, this is real life. 314 00:12:20,443 --> 00:12:22,644 In real life, you're polite to your hostess. 315 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:24,979 Of course, you're polite. And why wouldn't you be? 316 00:12:25,015 --> 00:12:26,447 There's a hostess, and you have... 317 00:12:26,482 --> 00:12:28,049 - JEFF: That's pretty good. - (LAUGHTER) 318 00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:29,817 LARRY: Sure, sure, the water, the water. 319 00:12:29,853 --> 00:12:31,920 By the way, I'm not the only one who can't stand it. 320 00:12:33,156 --> 00:12:35,423 Can't stand what? 321 00:12:37,761 --> 00:12:40,094 Well, Marty likes my water. 322 00:12:49,873 --> 00:12:52,505 (SLURPING) 323 00:12:55,044 --> 00:12:57,310 - (MUFFLED) Very good. - See? 324 00:12:57,345 --> 00:12:59,580 You're really the only person 325 00:12:59,615 --> 00:13:01,314 who has a problem with the water. 326 00:13:01,349 --> 00:13:03,617 You know, it's just water. What are you so sensitive about? 327 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,251 I want you to go. 328 00:13:05,287 --> 00:13:07,688 (CHUCKLES) I'm getting kicked out? 329 00:13:07,723 --> 00:13:10,290 - MARILYN: Yeah, I think... - You're kicking me out? 330 00:13:10,325 --> 00:13:11,992 Yeah, I think you should leave. 331 00:13:12,027 --> 00:13:13,860 This is unbelievable. Okay. 332 00:13:13,896 --> 00:13:16,396 Well, it was fun. We... we really... 333 00:13:16,431 --> 00:13:19,299 - It was not fun. - No, it wasn't. 334 00:13:19,334 --> 00:13:21,167 I leave my knife 335 00:13:21,203 --> 00:13:24,637 and I bid you adieu. 336 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:35,880 _ 337 00:13:41,339 --> 00:13:45,139 _ 338 00:13:45,494 --> 00:13:48,161 (WHISTLING TUNE) 339 00:13:49,631 --> 00:13:51,664 You guys, look! Ah! 340 00:13:51,699 --> 00:13:55,535 - BOY: Hey, bald fuck! - KIDS: Bald fuck! 341 00:13:55,570 --> 00:13:58,670 Blow me, blow me! 342 00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,039 (KIDS SHOUTING) 343 00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:03,375 LARRY: You wash it! You wash it! 344 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,277 Blow me, bald fuck! 345 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:06,811 Shut up! Shut up! 346 00:14:08,249 --> 00:14:09,981 RICHARD: Oh, you were right, Larry. 347 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,583 I blew it with Rhonda. 348 00:14:11,619 --> 00:14:13,352 I told you it was a premature honey. 349 00:14:13,387 --> 00:14:16,021 And she's been cold ever since. 350 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,257 - Yeah, it was bad. - I said honey. 351 00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,259 - What's the big deal? - I told them no mushrooms in this thing. 352 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,461 - I said no mushrooms, all right? - I've lost a potential bride, 353 00:14:22,496 --> 00:14:24,196 and you're talking about salad? 354 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:27,932 - I blew it. - You saw... you saw a wife there 355 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:31,101 and you seized on it with a honey, right? 356 00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,736 - That's what you did. - It was a seize. 357 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,038 - You seized. - I did seize. 358 00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:35,506 - You did seize. - So, what do I do? 359 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:36,774 - I don't know. - (PHONE CHIMES) 360 00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,776 Oh, great. 361 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,678 It's from Rhonda. 362 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,680 "We need to talk." 363 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,915 - Oh. - I'm through. 364 00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,116 You're done. 365 00:14:46,152 --> 00:14:47,985 What ever comes good after "we need to talk"? 366 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,588 - Nothing. - You ever hear this? "We need to talk. 367 00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:52,223 I'm taking you to Cancun." 368 00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:53,624 - No, that's not happening. - Is that gonna happen? 369 00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:55,959 - No. No. - That's not gonna happen. 370 00:14:55,995 --> 00:14:58,496 - What do I do, man? - SERVER: Can I get you a refill? 371 00:14:58,531 --> 00:14:59,997 - Okay. - What do I do? 372 00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:02,500 I got an idea. Text her back. 373 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,235 Tell her to come meet you at the restaurant. 374 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,836 - Why? - When she comes in, 375 00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:08,238 you start calling everybody honey. 376 00:15:08,273 --> 00:15:10,407 - I do what? - Call everybody honey... 377 00:15:10,442 --> 00:15:13,476 the waitresses, the manager, customers, everyone. 378 00:15:13,512 --> 00:15:16,213 - Why? - Because... 'cause you're a guy 379 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:18,582 who just uses the word honey a lot. 380 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:21,618 - You mean it's part of my working vocabulary? - Yes! Yes! 381 00:15:21,653 --> 00:15:23,053 And what would that mean to her? 382 00:15:23,089 --> 00:15:25,189 That means that she's just part of the honey parade. 383 00:15:25,224 --> 00:15:27,057 - So, I just call everybody honey? - You call everybody honey. 384 00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,792 - I like the honey parade. - Huh? 385 00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:31,228 - All right, I'll have her come down. - Yeah. 386 00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,131 LARRY: There, she's coming. There she is. 387 00:15:34,166 --> 00:15:35,766 - Where? - There. 388 00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:37,801 - Oh, boy. - Larry, I didn't know you were gonna be here. 389 00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,002 - Hi! - Hi. 390 00:15:39,038 --> 00:15:40,469 Hi. Oh, hold on a second. 391 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,538 Honey, do you mind if I grab a chair? 392 00:15:42,573 --> 00:15:46,743 - Thank you, honey. - Oh, no, I don't... um, thanks. 393 00:15:46,778 --> 00:15:48,277 I just... I could come back. 394 00:15:48,312 --> 00:15:51,347 I just wanted to have just, like, a quick conversation. 395 00:15:51,382 --> 00:15:52,982 I don't wanna interrupt a whole thing. 396 00:15:53,017 --> 00:15:54,650 No, you're not interrupting anything. 397 00:15:54,685 --> 00:15:56,485 Excuse me, honey. Can I get... 398 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,721 - What... what do you want? - Oh, I'll just have a coffee. 399 00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:01,858 A black coffee, honey. 400 00:16:01,893 --> 00:16:04,160 That's all you want? Are you hungry? 401 00:16:04,195 --> 00:16:06,796 Uh, well, I wasn't planning on staying that long, 402 00:16:06,831 --> 00:16:08,931 - but maybe... maybe I'll get a sand... - Oh, honey, right here. 403 00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:10,466 - The coffee. - Oh, thank you so much. 404 00:16:10,501 --> 00:16:14,136 Honey, can you bring a turkey burger and some fries? 405 00:16:14,171 --> 00:16:15,704 Thanks, honey. Hey, hon! 406 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:17,640 You know, honey, can we get an extra napkin? 407 00:16:17,675 --> 00:16:19,508 Hey, could I get some coffee, honey? 408 00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,042 - Mm-hmm. - Honey? Honey? 409 00:16:21,078 --> 00:16:22,177 Thank you, honey. 410 00:16:22,212 --> 00:16:23,845 Could we get the check, honey? 411 00:16:23,881 --> 00:16:25,314 Thank you, honey. 412 00:16:27,752 --> 00:16:31,186 - Thank you. - So, what did you wanna talk about? 413 00:16:31,221 --> 00:16:34,890 Oh, just I'm free on Friday night now 414 00:16:34,925 --> 00:16:37,660 and wanted to see if you wanted to do something together. 415 00:16:37,695 --> 00:16:39,728 Pick me up at work? I'll be done around 8:00. 416 00:16:39,764 --> 00:16:41,229 Then we'll have just one car. 417 00:16:41,265 --> 00:16:43,299 - Uh, yeah. - Great! 418 00:16:43,334 --> 00:16:46,201 - Where do you work? - Uh, I work at Neiman Marcus. 419 00:16:46,236 --> 00:16:48,068 - Is that so? - Yeah. 420 00:16:48,104 --> 00:16:51,272 - Huh. - I am a sales professional on the men's floor. 421 00:16:51,308 --> 00:16:53,107 If you ever want any help, let me know. 422 00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,409 Now that you mention it, 423 00:16:54,444 --> 00:16:56,844 I could actually use a couple of pairs of pants. 424 00:16:56,879 --> 00:16:58,413 Call me anytime. Seriously, stop by. 425 00:16:58,448 --> 00:17:00,214 - I'm going to. - Great, give him my number. 426 00:17:00,249 --> 00:17:01,716 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 427 00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,351 - Larry, it's great to see you. - Good to see you again. 428 00:17:03,386 --> 00:17:04,752 - Very good to see you, Larry. - Always a pleasure. 429 00:17:04,788 --> 00:17:06,654 Do you want me to leave any money for this? 430 00:17:06,690 --> 00:17:08,356 - Are you taking care of it? Okay. - It's all right. 431 00:17:08,391 --> 00:17:09,957 - It's all right. - He's a good guy. 432 00:17:09,992 --> 00:17:12,493 - To us. - Oh! What do you wanna do on Friday? 433 00:17:12,529 --> 00:17:13,628 Anything you want, honey. 434 00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:17,732 (PHONE CHIMES) 435 00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:19,500 Oh. 436 00:17:19,536 --> 00:17:21,802 You wanna go to the Rams game on Sunday with Rob? 437 00:17:21,837 --> 00:17:23,102 He's got extra tickets. 438 00:17:23,138 --> 00:17:25,271 I'd love to go to the Rams game on Sunday. 439 00:17:25,307 --> 00:17:27,941 - Gotta take Susie to the airport. - (SCOFFS) 440 00:17:27,976 --> 00:17:29,776 She's ridiculous! 441 00:17:29,812 --> 00:17:31,844 - All right, I got an idea. - What? 442 00:17:33,381 --> 00:17:35,548 Accidental text on purpose. 443 00:17:35,583 --> 00:17:37,216 Please explain. 444 00:17:37,251 --> 00:17:39,385 You're sending a text to me, 445 00:17:39,420 --> 00:17:41,920 but it goes to her "by accident." 446 00:17:41,956 --> 00:17:44,056 - Uh-huh. - And in the text, you say, 447 00:17:44,091 --> 00:17:46,359 "Hey, LD, I'd love to go to the game, 448 00:17:46,394 --> 00:17:47,793 but I'm taking Susie to the airport. 449 00:17:47,829 --> 00:17:49,161 I don't wanna disappoint her. 450 00:17:49,196 --> 00:17:50,429 We're getting along so great." 451 00:17:50,465 --> 00:17:52,465 - And it goes to her... - It goes to her. 452 00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:54,099 - ... but it was meant to you. - Meant to me! 453 00:17:54,134 --> 00:17:56,101 - Saying how great Susie is... - How great Susie is. 454 00:17:56,136 --> 00:17:57,670 - ... and how much I love her. - Yeah. 455 00:17:57,705 --> 00:18:00,473 You, sir, are an amazing man. 456 00:18:00,508 --> 00:18:02,441 - I am texting Susie right now. - Oh, here they are. 457 00:18:02,477 --> 00:18:03,976 - Larry, Jeff. - Hello. 458 00:18:04,011 --> 00:18:05,610 - Thanks for letting me join you guys. - Sure. 459 00:18:05,645 --> 00:18:08,046 - Yeah. - You should see this guy on the range. 460 00:18:08,082 --> 00:18:10,349 - What's your handicap? - 10. 461 00:18:10,384 --> 00:18:12,251 - What are you? - 15. 462 00:18:12,286 --> 00:18:15,220 We should make it interesting, play for some cheddar. 463 00:18:15,256 --> 00:18:17,722 - Sure. - Yeah? 200? 464 00:18:17,758 --> 00:18:20,058 - Okay, you're on. - Great. 465 00:18:22,696 --> 00:18:24,296 I pick up a knife, I have an urge to stab. 466 00:18:24,331 --> 00:18:27,366 But it's a stupid thing to say at a dinner table. 467 00:18:27,401 --> 00:18:30,835 And then you made such a deal over the goddamn filter. 468 00:18:30,871 --> 00:18:33,171 - Terrible water. - But you didn't have to say anything about it. 469 00:18:33,207 --> 00:18:35,740 How could you not comment on water that's so bad? 470 00:18:35,776 --> 00:18:38,377 Okay, I've done everything I can to get her back. 471 00:18:38,412 --> 00:18:42,380 I sent her flowers... boom... shredded on my doorstep. 472 00:18:42,415 --> 00:18:45,116 I mean, I don't know what to do. 473 00:18:46,152 --> 00:18:48,119 - Oh! - Oh! 474 00:18:48,154 --> 00:18:49,753 BOTH: Oh! 475 00:18:49,789 --> 00:18:53,257 - Accidental text on purpose! - Accidental text. Oh, my God. 476 00:18:53,293 --> 00:18:55,592 - Tell him. - Okay, here's what you do. 477 00:18:55,628 --> 00:18:57,395 You send me a text, 478 00:18:57,430 --> 00:19:01,698 but you accidentally send it to her on purpose. 479 00:19:01,734 --> 00:19:03,500 And in the text, you say something like, 480 00:19:03,536 --> 00:19:05,803 "Hey, Larry, you were an asshole the other night. 481 00:19:05,838 --> 00:19:08,739 There's nothing wrong with her water. It's perfectly okay." 482 00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:11,375 Say anything you want. Curse me, anything. I don't care. 483 00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,644 Okay, I've never said this to you before. 484 00:19:13,679 --> 00:19:15,245 - Yeah. - You're brilliant. 485 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,013 - Thank you, thank you. - Right, right?! 486 00:19:17,049 --> 00:19:19,015 I invented this. I invented this. 487 00:19:19,051 --> 00:19:20,116 JEFF: He already did it for me. 488 00:19:20,152 --> 00:19:21,585 "Dear Larry... " 489 00:19:21,620 --> 00:19:23,854 - I can say anything I want! - Anything! 490 00:19:23,889 --> 00:19:25,556 "Larry, you were so out of line 491 00:19:25,591 --> 00:19:27,190 the other night about the water." 492 00:19:27,225 --> 00:19:29,159 - Yes! - "If Marilyn didn't throw you out, I would've." 493 00:19:29,194 --> 00:19:30,727 - MARTY: Perfect! - (TEXT WHOOSHES) 494 00:19:30,763 --> 00:19:32,362 Damn it! 495 00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:33,764 He's had some bad luck today. 496 00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:37,801 JEFF: All right, there we go. 497 00:19:37,837 --> 00:19:39,302 - LARRY: Oh, that's nice. - MARTY: Here it comes. 498 00:19:39,338 --> 00:19:41,538 - JEFF: All right. - Hey, where do you lie? 499 00:19:41,574 --> 00:19:42,840 Uh, four. 500 00:19:42,875 --> 00:19:44,007 - (PHONE CHIMES) - MARTY: Look! 501 00:19:44,042 --> 00:19:45,909 She texted me right back. 502 00:19:45,945 --> 00:19:47,444 "I love you. 503 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,445 I know this is not meant for me. 504 00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:53,115 What a great man to stick up for me like that." 505 00:19:54,452 --> 00:19:55,718 - Unbelievable. - Thank you. 506 00:19:55,753 --> 00:19:56,919 - Unbelievable. - Huh? 507 00:19:56,955 --> 00:19:58,888 - Brilliant! - Get the flag, Jeff? 508 00:19:58,923 --> 00:20:00,189 Yep. 509 00:20:00,224 --> 00:20:01,724 Well, you're playing great today. 510 00:20:01,759 --> 00:20:03,258 No, I'm having a bad day. 511 00:20:05,096 --> 00:20:06,096 Beautiful. 512 00:20:06,097 --> 00:20:07,864 - Oh! - Beautiful! 513 00:20:07,899 --> 00:20:08,998 Oh! 514 00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,533 - Is that a birdie? - Beautiful. 515 00:20:10,568 --> 00:20:13,002 - Oh, my God. - Oh, guys, I hate to do this. 516 00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:15,037 I got a medical emergency. I gotta get to Cedars. 517 00:20:15,072 --> 00:20:18,240 - We only have three more holes. - No, we got a medical emergency here. 518 00:20:18,275 --> 00:20:19,675 Wait, wait. What are you talking about? 519 00:20:19,711 --> 00:20:21,110 You owe me $200. Pay up. 520 00:20:21,145 --> 00:20:22,878 It's an emergency. I'm a doctor. 521 00:20:22,913 --> 00:20:24,346 You weren't a doctor on the plane. 522 00:20:24,382 --> 00:20:26,015 I gotta go. A patient needs me. 523 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:29,051 Oh, boy, you're down three with three to play. 524 00:20:29,086 --> 00:20:33,088 Oh, so when you're losing money, you heed the call, is that it? 525 00:20:33,124 --> 00:20:34,189 You know what that is? 526 00:20:34,225 --> 00:20:36,558 Selective heeding, that's what that is! 527 00:20:36,593 --> 00:20:38,327 You didn't get any text anyway. 528 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:39,561 It was all bullshit! 529 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:48,670 - Enigma? - What the fuck?! 530 00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,839 - Whoa! Oh! - (THUDS) 531 00:20:50,874 --> 00:20:52,374 - Jesus Christ! - God! 532 00:20:52,410 --> 00:20:54,376 - Crazy! - (HUFFS) 533 00:20:54,412 --> 00:20:57,345 It's just perfume. 534 00:20:57,380 --> 00:21:00,649 ... out of nowhere, right in my face, spritzing me. 535 00:21:00,684 --> 00:21:02,984 - They're the worst. - Come on, what is that? What a violation. 536 00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:04,586 You know what, they'll usually go away, though, 537 00:21:04,621 --> 00:21:05,787 if you just wave them away. 538 00:21:05,822 --> 00:21:09,057 - Did you wave her away? - Sort of, yeah. 539 00:21:09,092 --> 00:21:11,125 Here, do you like this color? 540 00:21:11,161 --> 00:21:12,994 - Yeah, yeah, that's good. - Yeah. 541 00:21:13,030 --> 00:21:14,930 - All right, let's try these. - Okay. 542 00:21:14,965 --> 00:21:17,032 By the way, I wanted to let you know 543 00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:18,445 I was very impressed 544 00:21:18,446 --> 00:21:20,660 that you said something about the water the other day. 545 00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:22,537 Well, thank you for saying so. 546 00:21:22,573 --> 00:21:24,405 It's hard to, you know, get in front of a group 547 00:21:24,441 --> 00:21:27,307 and... and say what everyone's thinking when it's uncomfortable. 548 00:21:27,342 --> 00:21:29,242 You know, I had no problem. 549 00:21:29,278 --> 00:21:31,912 Now, I got you 32 and 30. 550 00:21:31,948 --> 00:21:34,114 - Okay. - What do you wanna start with? 551 00:21:34,149 --> 00:21:36,116 - Eh, 32. - All right. 552 00:21:36,151 --> 00:21:38,786 - Here's the 32. - These look very nice, yeah. 553 00:21:38,821 --> 00:21:40,688 All right. 554 00:21:40,723 --> 00:21:42,289 Oh, okay. 555 00:21:49,065 --> 00:21:51,431 (MUSIC PLAYING) 556 00:22:12,254 --> 00:22:14,020 LEON: Yeah, he's in the kitchen. 557 00:22:14,055 --> 00:22:15,955 - Look who's here. - Hey. 558 00:22:17,326 --> 00:22:19,126 Oh, for God's sake. 559 00:22:19,161 --> 00:22:20,527 Look at this. 560 00:22:20,562 --> 00:22:22,496 My lace just broke. 561 00:22:22,531 --> 00:22:25,865 You... and you know what, there's no extra laces in the house. 562 00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:27,800 Do you have extra laces in your house? 563 00:22:27,836 --> 00:22:29,202 No, nobody does. 564 00:22:29,238 --> 00:22:31,138 I don't know why people don't stock up on them. 565 00:22:31,173 --> 00:22:33,072 - They stock up on canned food. - Hey, we got a problem. 566 00:22:33,108 --> 00:22:37,409 Marilyn told me she saw you in Neiman Marcus 567 00:22:37,445 --> 00:22:40,246 - push the spritz girl. - Of course I did. 568 00:22:40,281 --> 00:22:42,081 What do you mean of course you did? 569 00:22:42,117 --> 00:22:43,650 I got attacked and I pushed. 570 00:22:43,685 --> 00:22:44,751 You don't push a spritzer lady! 571 00:22:44,786 --> 00:22:46,218 You're out of your fucking mind! 572 00:22:46,254 --> 00:22:47,787 It's a violation! You don't just go up to people 573 00:22:47,822 --> 00:22:49,689 and spritz them in the face like that. 574 00:22:49,724 --> 00:22:50,823 It's a violation. 575 00:22:50,859 --> 00:22:53,026 We have a very big problem now. 576 00:22:53,061 --> 00:22:55,695 Marilyn is not happy with you. 577 00:22:55,730 --> 00:22:57,429 You know what I gotta do now? 578 00:22:57,465 --> 00:22:59,198 I gotta go through and rewind... 579 00:22:59,233 --> 00:23:01,701 Let's hold on to that thought for a minute, okay? 580 00:23:01,736 --> 00:23:02,769 I think I could fix this. 581 00:23:02,804 --> 00:23:04,236 Will you listen to me, please? 582 00:23:04,272 --> 00:23:06,072 - You wet the end... - I don't care about that. 583 00:23:06,107 --> 00:23:07,506 ... and you just do this. 584 00:23:07,542 --> 00:23:09,108 Marilyn said to me 585 00:23:09,144 --> 00:23:10,709 I have to make a choice. 586 00:23:10,744 --> 00:23:13,078 It's either Larry David or Marilyn. 587 00:23:13,113 --> 00:23:14,280 She gave you an ultimatum? 588 00:23:14,315 --> 00:23:16,682 An ultimatum. 589 00:23:16,717 --> 00:23:18,750 - Who'd you pick? - I took Marilyn. 590 00:23:18,786 --> 00:23:20,586 I would've made the same decision. 591 00:23:20,621 --> 00:23:22,288 Let's face it, at this point in our lives, 592 00:23:22,323 --> 00:23:25,291 it's... it's not so easy to find people to have sex with us. 593 00:23:25,326 --> 00:23:27,660 LEON: Hey, vagina always wins. 594 00:23:27,695 --> 00:23:29,595 I lost a brother to a vagina. 595 00:23:29,630 --> 00:23:32,064 He's quite a feminist, isn't he? 596 00:23:32,099 --> 00:23:34,400 Vagina got his ass. 597 00:23:34,435 --> 00:23:36,034 Goodbye. 598 00:23:36,070 --> 00:23:38,204 So, if I run into you, are you gonna talk to me 599 00:23:38,239 --> 00:23:40,506 or is this... this is the last words we're ever gonna exchange? 600 00:23:40,541 --> 00:23:42,575 I can't talk to you anymore. I'm gonna miss you. 601 00:23:42,610 --> 00:23:44,576 So, when I see you at the club dinner tomorrow night, 602 00:23:44,611 --> 00:23:47,011 - no communication there whatsoever? - She said to me, 603 00:23:47,046 --> 00:23:49,347 "If you communicate with him, I'm gone." 604 00:23:49,382 --> 00:23:53,384 Oh, hey, LD, that Sophia Loren. (KISSES) 605 00:23:53,420 --> 00:23:54,919 - Whoo! - You saw her movie? 606 00:23:54,954 --> 00:23:57,088 Mm-hmm. "Marriage Italian Style." 607 00:23:57,123 --> 00:23:58,989 - Three times. - I told you, right? 608 00:23:59,025 --> 00:24:01,192 - Gorgeous. - Gorgeous. Fuckin' beautiful. 609 00:24:01,228 --> 00:24:03,628 Yeah. Oh, jeez. 610 00:24:03,663 --> 00:24:04,696 Ugh, my pants are ready. 611 00:24:04,731 --> 00:24:06,231 Now I gotta go see that Rhonda. 612 00:24:06,266 --> 00:24:08,600 - Something up with that girl. - Mm-hmm. 613 00:24:08,635 --> 00:24:10,801 This woman likes me. Lewis's date. 614 00:24:10,837 --> 00:24:12,870 - How do you know? - Well, she was quite taken 615 00:24:12,905 --> 00:24:15,139 with my water stance the other night 616 00:24:15,174 --> 00:24:17,475 and she wouldn't get out of the dressing room 617 00:24:17,510 --> 00:24:19,509 - when I... when I was changing. - She likes you. 618 00:24:19,545 --> 00:24:22,913 Yeah, and I gotta go back there tomorrow to pick up my pants. 619 00:24:22,949 --> 00:24:25,682 - You gonna hit it? - No, I'm a loyal friend. 620 00:24:25,718 --> 00:24:27,451 When women give me an ultimatum, 621 00:24:27,486 --> 00:24:30,821 "Who are you gonna choose, me or your friend?" 622 00:24:30,857 --> 00:24:32,790 I say, "I'm gonna choose my friend." 623 00:24:32,825 --> 00:24:34,925 - That's it. - Why do you have to do this? 624 00:24:34,961 --> 00:24:36,794 You dumped me. You chose somebody over me. 625 00:24:36,829 --> 00:24:38,028 - I didn't dump anyone. - Okay. 626 00:24:38,064 --> 00:24:40,164 I'm trying to say goodbye and end this. 627 00:24:40,199 --> 00:24:41,431 Okay, goodbye. 628 00:24:41,467 --> 00:24:44,568 See ya. See ya, Leon. 629 00:24:44,603 --> 00:24:47,037 - All right, get out. - Don't keep talking. 630 00:24:47,073 --> 00:24:48,705 - You're standing there. - I'm leaving. 631 00:24:48,741 --> 00:24:50,841 - Okay, well, go. - Okay, I'm gonna leave. 632 00:24:50,877 --> 00:24:53,376 - I'm waiting. - We're not playing last word. 633 00:24:53,411 --> 00:24:55,745 - No. - One, two, three. 634 00:24:55,781 --> 00:24:57,013 - Bye. - Bye. 635 00:24:57,048 --> 00:24:58,314 (SIGHS) 636 00:24:58,349 --> 00:25:00,583 - One, two, three. - BOTH: Bye... 637 00:25:00,618 --> 00:25:02,852 - "Ay." - No, don't do that. 638 00:25:02,888 --> 00:25:03,987 BOTH: Goodbye. 639 00:25:04,990 --> 00:25:06,890 (CLATTERS) 640 00:25:10,361 --> 00:25:11,627 - Hey, Larry. - Hey. 641 00:25:11,663 --> 00:25:13,196 I got your pants. You're all paid for. 642 00:25:13,231 --> 00:25:14,764 Oh, great, great. 643 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:15,965 All right, now we just try them on. 644 00:25:16,001 --> 00:25:18,301 - Come on. - Oh, um, 645 00:25:18,336 --> 00:25:19,969 I... I don't need to try them on. 646 00:25:20,005 --> 00:25:22,138 - I can just, you know. - Larry, you gotta try them on. 647 00:25:22,174 --> 00:25:23,773 They got shortened. We gotta see if they're... 648 00:25:23,809 --> 00:25:25,741 That's not necessary. I'll just take them. 649 00:25:25,777 --> 00:25:27,409 It's just gonna take a minute. We'll be good. 650 00:25:27,444 --> 00:25:29,044 I actually changed my mind about... I didn't want the pants. 651 00:25:29,079 --> 00:25:30,712 These pants look amazing on you. 652 00:25:30,747 --> 00:25:32,681 - Come on. - It's not really necessary. 653 00:25:32,716 --> 00:25:35,784 - I don't need to try on the pants... - - Larry, you're trying on pants. 654 00:25:36,854 --> 00:25:38,086 Right. 655 00:25:41,258 --> 00:25:43,225 I think these lay great. 656 00:25:43,260 --> 00:25:45,727 - Do you like that break on your sneaker? - Yeah. Yeah. 657 00:25:45,762 --> 00:25:47,162 - (PHONE CHIMES) - I think that looks good. 658 00:25:47,198 --> 00:25:49,364 I think it's pretty... oh, excuse me, I'm sorry. 659 00:25:49,399 --> 00:25:52,301 We have a new tailor. He does amazing work. 660 00:25:52,336 --> 00:25:55,704 (MUSIC PLAYING) 661 00:25:55,739 --> 00:25:57,672 RHONDA: I think that looks pretty good. 662 00:25:58,709 --> 00:26:00,208 Yeah, yeah. 663 00:26:02,078 --> 00:26:03,644 And the hem is right. 664 00:26:03,679 --> 00:26:05,179 I think that looks good. 665 00:26:06,449 --> 00:26:07,882 (GASPS) 666 00:26:09,618 --> 00:26:10,784 Oh, my God! 667 00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:11,820 - Oh! - Larry! 668 00:26:11,855 --> 00:26:14,421 - Oh! Oh, I'm... no! - Oh! 669 00:26:14,457 --> 00:26:16,057 (STAMMERING) No! That's not from you. 670 00:26:16,092 --> 00:26:17,925 That... that's from Sophia Loren. 671 00:26:17,961 --> 00:26:19,861 Why was it in my face? 672 00:26:19,896 --> 00:26:22,496 Because it was an accident! It was an accidental erection. 673 00:26:22,531 --> 00:26:23,797 - What? - It was an accident. 674 00:26:23,833 --> 00:26:25,799 No, an accident is tripping on a step, 675 00:26:25,835 --> 00:26:28,035 and then also the Titanic going down. 676 00:26:28,071 --> 00:26:31,805 Yeah, but just the way the Titanic went down, this thing went up. 677 00:26:31,841 --> 00:26:34,941 It's the same... it's the same thing. They're both accidents. 678 00:26:34,977 --> 00:26:37,344 So, you're saying your penis is like the Titanic? 679 00:26:37,380 --> 00:26:40,013 In a manner of speaking, yes. I think they're... they're comparable. 680 00:26:40,048 --> 00:26:42,416 This is... this is really unprofessional. 681 00:26:42,451 --> 00:26:44,351 - I'm very uncomfortable right now. - Oh, this is unprofessional? 682 00:26:44,387 --> 00:26:46,587 You think I'm comfortable when you're standing in the dressing room 683 00:26:46,622 --> 00:26:47,954 when I'm changing my pants? 684 00:26:47,990 --> 00:26:49,823 It's called a concierge service. 685 00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:51,658 I've never heard of that before in my life. 686 00:26:51,694 --> 00:26:53,627 I'd like you to leave, Larry. 687 00:26:53,662 --> 00:26:54,695 - I'll go, yeah. - Yeah. 688 00:26:54,730 --> 00:26:56,430 Okay. May... may I have my pants? 689 00:26:56,465 --> 00:26:57,564 Here. 690 00:26:59,835 --> 00:27:03,670 You know, I gotta say, the waist is a little big. 691 00:27:03,706 --> 00:27:04,905 Get out. 692 00:27:04,940 --> 00:27:08,073 I'll wear them with a belt. I'll put a belt on. 693 00:27:08,109 --> 00:27:10,610 - (TV PLAYING) - What's the score? 694 00:27:10,645 --> 00:27:12,177 14-7. 695 00:27:12,213 --> 00:27:13,345 (PHONE CHIMES) 696 00:27:15,750 --> 00:27:19,218 (SCOFFS) This Dr. Winocur I was telling you about? 697 00:27:19,253 --> 00:27:20,753 So, get a load of this. 698 00:27:20,789 --> 00:27:23,122 "Hi, Mrs. Downing, it's Dr. Winocur. 699 00:27:23,157 --> 00:27:25,558 Even though I had to cut my round of golf short, 700 00:27:25,593 --> 00:27:27,460 I'm glad I saw you the other day. 701 00:27:27,495 --> 00:27:30,463 Be sure to take all the medicine as I prescribed it." 702 00:27:30,498 --> 00:27:34,499 - Another accidental... - BOTH: Text on purpose. 703 00:27:34,535 --> 00:27:36,101 - Wow. Unbelievable. - Unbelievable. 704 00:27:36,137 --> 00:27:37,236 This is some doctor. 705 00:27:37,271 --> 00:27:38,938 They should take this guy's license away. 706 00:27:38,973 --> 00:27:41,240 He was on a plane, there was an emergency, he didn't help out. 707 00:27:41,315 --> 00:27:43,987 Person fucking choking, having pains in their chest, 708 00:27:43,988 --> 00:27:46,300 - you get the fuck up. - You've sworn to a Hippocratic Oath. 709 00:27:46,327 --> 00:27:48,450 Sworn to it. Get the fuck up. Unless they got diarrhea 710 00:27:48,451 --> 00:27:50,300 or some shit like that. If they announced that, 711 00:27:50,301 --> 00:27:52,439 "Hey, we've got a passenger who has diarrhea 712 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:54,522 and it's uncontrollable and it's all over the fucking place," 713 00:27:54,523 --> 00:27:57,814 I can see the person sitting there and, "Actually, fuck that. 714 00:27:57,815 --> 00:27:59,647 I don't feel like dealing with diarrhea right now." 715 00:27:59,648 --> 00:28:01,898 (MUSIC PLAYING) 716 00:28:18,315 --> 00:28:20,314 MARTY: I think you're gonna have a good time. 717 00:28:20,315 --> 00:28:22,022 MARILYN: I hope so. (LAUGHS) 718 00:28:22,023 --> 00:28:23,856 MARTY: I like that outfit you wore. I really do. 719 00:28:23,857 --> 00:28:24,932 There's Larry. 720 00:28:30,607 --> 00:28:32,731 Just go inside. Ignore him. Do not give him attention. 721 00:28:32,732 --> 00:28:36,397 Ignore him? That's a 14-foot-long cock. 722 00:28:36,398 --> 00:28:38,356 (PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) 723 00:28:40,523 --> 00:28:42,439 - RICHARD: Hey, pervert. - Hey. 724 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:46,355 So you get an erection in the dressing room with Rhonda. 725 00:28:46,356 --> 00:28:48,780 - How lovely. - No, Leon sent me a video 726 00:28:48,781 --> 00:28:50,570 of an old Sophia Loren movie from the '60s, 727 00:28:50,579 --> 00:28:52,897 and that's what caused it. Rhonda had nothing to do with it. 728 00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:54,647 - Leon sent you a movie... - Yes, yeah. 729 00:28:54,648 --> 00:28:56,147 You know how these things happen. 730 00:28:56,148 --> 00:28:58,480 - They... they just occur. - Oh, they just occur? 731 00:28:58,481 --> 00:29:02,564 Just like you drew a giant cock on the side of your car. 732 00:29:02,565 --> 00:29:04,230 He drew a penis on my car? 733 00:29:04,231 --> 00:29:05,397 - Fuckin' A... - My God! 734 00:29:05,398 --> 00:29:06,897 ... it's 12 feet long. 735 00:29:06,898 --> 00:29:08,856 - This guy's unbelievable. - Who? What guy? 736 00:29:08,857 --> 00:29:10,564 I don't know. I'm having a fight with this guy. 737 00:29:10,565 --> 00:29:12,606 He's drawing stuff on my car, messages. 738 00:29:12,607 --> 00:29:14,397 He's telling me to wash it, and... 739 00:29:14,398 --> 00:29:16,439 Oh, I don't know what you're fucking talking about. 740 00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:18,938 - Now he drew a penis... - What, did you co-write "Alice in Wonderland"? 741 00:29:18,939 --> 00:29:21,022 - You're a fucking nutcase. - Oh, you think I'm making that up? 742 00:29:21,023 --> 00:29:23,063 You think I go around drawing penises on my car? 743 00:29:23,064 --> 00:29:26,314 - I'd have to be in Bellevue. - She gave me an ultimatum. 744 00:29:26,315 --> 00:29:28,230 It's either you or her. 745 00:29:28,231 --> 00:29:29,938 Funkhouser's girlfriend did the same thing. 746 00:29:29,939 --> 00:29:32,147 I know. Everybody has heard about it, believe me. 747 00:29:32,148 --> 00:29:34,022 Who'd you choose? 748 00:29:34,023 --> 00:29:35,938 - I chose her. - Huh. 749 00:29:35,939 --> 00:29:40,439 So, listen, just stay away from my girlfriend. 750 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:41,564 Girlfriend? 751 00:29:41,565 --> 00:29:43,647 Oh, dear. Premature girlfriend. 752 00:29:43,648 --> 00:29:45,689 - Oh, no, I know... no, no, no. - Listen, Richard, 753 00:29:45,690 --> 00:29:47,647 you know what, I think we're just looking for other things right now. 754 00:29:47,648 --> 00:29:50,564 I call everybody girlfriend. It's a thing of mine. 755 00:29:50,565 --> 00:29:53,314 Hi, girlfriend. Girlfriend, hi. 756 00:29:53,315 --> 00:29:55,731 Honey! Honey, come on. 757 00:29:55,732 --> 00:29:57,480 - Please, come on. - Oh, this is nice. 758 00:29:57,481 --> 00:29:59,522 Oh, well, well. 759 00:29:59,523 --> 00:30:00,938 - Look who's here. - NATHAN: Hey, Larry. 760 00:30:00,939 --> 00:30:02,522 - You remember Bebe. - Hi. 761 00:30:02,523 --> 00:30:05,522 - Oh, my, hi. Who could forget Bebe? - Good to see you. 762 00:30:05,523 --> 00:30:07,188 We hit it off at baggage claim. 763 00:30:07,189 --> 00:30:09,063 You hit it off at baggage claim. 764 00:30:09,064 --> 00:30:11,147 - What a beautiful story. - NATHAN: Yeah. 765 00:30:11,148 --> 00:30:14,814 By the way, I got that, uh, "accidental text" you sent me. 766 00:30:14,815 --> 00:30:16,105 I didn't send you a text. 767 00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:17,938 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you know you did. 768 00:30:17,939 --> 00:30:20,355 - Oh, I sent one to Laura Downing. - Oh, yeah. 769 00:30:20,356 --> 00:30:22,314 - Larry David. - David. The Ds. 770 00:30:22,315 --> 00:30:24,856 - Yeah, yeah. - They're very close, they... 771 00:30:24,857 --> 00:30:27,564 Yeah, it was an accident, Larry. Trust me, please. 772 00:30:27,565 --> 00:30:29,480 - And, Bebe... - Mm-hmm. 773 00:30:29,481 --> 00:30:33,105 I would be remiss if I didn't inquire about your condition. 774 00:30:33,106 --> 00:30:34,980 You know, every day is a struggle. 775 00:30:34,981 --> 00:30:37,897 - Mmm. - But today, I'm doing good, thank you. 776 00:30:37,898 --> 00:30:39,023 Good to hear. 777 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,022 Are you sure that was an accidental text? 778 00:30:43,023 --> 00:30:44,565 Yeah, I'm sure. 779 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,022 Are you sure you have a bladder condition? 780 00:30:49,023 --> 00:30:50,981 - Yeah, I'm sure. - (SCOFFS) 781 00:30:52,565 --> 00:30:54,523 (MUSIC PLAYING) 782 00:31:06,231 --> 00:31:07,565 Okay. 783 00:31:09,231 --> 00:31:11,188 - Come on, Bebe. - Yeah. 784 00:31:11,189 --> 00:31:13,147 - (GLASS CLINKING) - MAN: Welcome, everyone. 785 00:31:13,148 --> 00:31:15,022 Thank you for coming to celebrate 786 00:31:15,023 --> 00:31:17,355 Tip McDougal's 25 years on the links. 787 00:31:17,356 --> 00:31:19,063 - (APPLAUSE) - We're gonna start in just a couple minutes, 788 00:31:19,064 --> 00:31:21,063 so, uh, you know, have a drink, 789 00:31:21,064 --> 00:31:22,564 relax, make yourself comfortable. 790 00:31:22,565 --> 00:31:24,230 We'll be back in just a couple. 791 00:31:24,231 --> 00:31:25,647 - Hey, everyone. - Hey! 792 00:31:25,648 --> 00:31:27,564 So, what the fuck with the penis on your car? 793 00:31:27,565 --> 00:31:29,731 I don't know. I think somebody on my block drew it. 794 00:31:29,732 --> 00:31:31,063 - JEFF: Oh, really? - Yeah. 795 00:31:31,064 --> 00:31:32,564 - That is so inappropriate. - Oh, God. 796 00:31:32,565 --> 00:31:33,731 SUSIE: Hi, Richie. 797 00:31:33,732 --> 00:31:34,980 - Hey. - How you doing? 798 00:31:34,981 --> 00:31:37,731 - Where's Rhonda? - She left. 799 00:31:37,732 --> 00:31:40,480 Huh. You did the premature girlfriend. 800 00:31:40,481 --> 00:31:41,814 You can't say "girlfriend" 801 00:31:41,815 --> 00:31:45,606 until you've dated somebody 12, 15 times. 802 00:31:45,607 --> 00:31:48,272 Yeah. Marilyn, am I right? It's gotta be... 803 00:31:48,273 --> 00:31:51,105 Yeah, yeah. Ah. 804 00:31:51,106 --> 00:31:52,380 Hey, Funk Man, would you, uh... 805 00:31:52,381 --> 00:31:53,850 would you mind passing the bread this way? 806 00:31:56,648 --> 00:31:58,689 Would you mind asking Marty to pass the bread? 807 00:31:58,690 --> 00:32:01,105 Marty, please pass me the bread. I'm famished. 808 00:32:01,106 --> 00:32:02,606 Marilyn, just for tonight, 809 00:32:02,607 --> 00:32:04,439 would... could you give him an exemption 810 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,188 from the no-talking rule that you've imposed? 811 00:32:07,189 --> 00:32:10,022 - No. - Just for tonight so we can all have some fun. 812 00:32:10,023 --> 00:32:11,105 - No. - We're at the same table... 813 00:32:11,106 --> 00:32:12,773 Exemption denied. 814 00:32:14,398 --> 00:32:15,732 Okay. 815 00:32:17,939 --> 00:32:19,689 Hey, this is fun, huh? 816 00:32:19,690 --> 00:32:21,188 I'm having the time of my life. 817 00:32:21,189 --> 00:32:22,689 (MUFFLED) This is really a blast. 818 00:32:22,690 --> 00:32:24,272 Too bad we're gonna have to leave early. 819 00:32:24,273 --> 00:32:26,188 I gotta pack. San Francisco. 820 00:32:26,189 --> 00:32:28,980 And Jeff's driving me to the airport, you know. 821 00:32:28,981 --> 00:32:33,188 - (SIGHS) - Think I was gonna buy that bullshit accidental text? 822 00:32:33,189 --> 00:32:35,689 (MOCKING) "Oh, I love my wife so much 823 00:32:35,690 --> 00:32:37,606 and... and I'll miss the football game." 824 00:32:37,607 --> 00:32:41,105 You think I bought that "accidental text on purpose"? 825 00:32:41,106 --> 00:32:44,230 What... what is an accidental text on purpose? 826 00:32:44,231 --> 00:32:45,814 You send somebody a text, 827 00:32:45,815 --> 00:32:48,147 pretending it to be to somebody else 828 00:32:48,148 --> 00:32:51,480 so they think they're reading a private text. 829 00:32:51,481 --> 00:32:52,814 But, really, what they're trying to do 830 00:32:52,815 --> 00:32:54,480 is give you the information 831 00:32:54,481 --> 00:32:56,272 that they want to manipulate you with. 832 00:32:56,273 --> 00:32:58,148 - It's bullshit. - Huh. 833 00:33:00,398 --> 00:33:04,314 Did you send me an accidental text on purpose? 834 00:33:04,315 --> 00:33:05,814 Oh... 835 00:33:05,815 --> 00:33:08,980 You did. That was a bullshit text. 836 00:33:08,981 --> 00:33:10,480 MARTY: I... I don't remember that. 837 00:33:10,481 --> 00:33:12,230 Do you like my water? 838 00:33:12,231 --> 00:33:15,022 I... you know, I really don't... I don't remember doing that. 839 00:33:15,023 --> 00:33:17,189 Do you like my water? 840 00:33:21,064 --> 00:33:24,314 I can't stand your water. 841 00:33:24,315 --> 00:33:27,105 I can't... I don't even know what to say. 842 00:33:27,106 --> 00:33:30,606 It's like I took a straw and put it in a frog's ass. 843 00:33:30,607 --> 00:33:32,188 It makes me sick! 844 00:33:32,189 --> 00:33:34,397 I wanna barf every time I get near it. 845 00:33:34,398 --> 00:33:37,856 I can't stand the smell, I can't stand the color, 846 00:33:37,857 --> 00:33:40,397 and I cannot stand the taste. 847 00:33:40,398 --> 00:33:42,690 I can't take it anymore! 848 00:33:44,106 --> 00:33:46,857 You know what, talk to him all you want. 849 00:33:49,273 --> 00:33:51,230 Wow, you're the only guy at this table 850 00:33:51,231 --> 00:33:52,731 that could hold on to a woman. 851 00:33:52,732 --> 00:33:54,606 - (GLASS CLINKING) - (CHUCKLES) 852 00:33:54,607 --> 00:33:58,105 - (APPLAUSE) - Thank you, everyone, for coming tonight 853 00:33:58,106 --> 00:34:01,564 to honor Tip McDougal and his lovely wife, Nancy. 854 00:34:01,565 --> 00:34:05,564 (CHUCKLES) We're losing a beloved member of the Ocean View family. 855 00:34:05,565 --> 00:34:08,897 - ALL: Aw. - Tip, we'll miss you. 856 00:34:08,898 --> 00:34:12,647 But in retirement, maybe Tip will finally be able to play some golf. 857 00:34:12,648 --> 00:34:15,856 - (LAUGHTER) - We had so many great times with Tip 858 00:34:15,857 --> 00:34:18,272 and some rough ones, too. 859 00:34:18,273 --> 00:34:20,398 But he was mostly on the fairway. 860 00:34:22,398 --> 00:34:25,188 I remember one time on the 18th hole, he had knocked... 861 00:34:25,189 --> 00:34:28,856 Larry, I hate to even bother you with this, but I'm on in two minutes. 862 00:34:28,857 --> 00:34:32,564 This guy just took my joke. Can you help me out? 863 00:34:32,565 --> 00:34:34,856 What are you talking about? This is a comedy emergency. 864 00:34:34,857 --> 00:34:37,856 - I'm off duty. - Why won't you help me? 865 00:34:37,857 --> 00:34:39,938 You didn't heed the call on the plane. 866 00:34:39,939 --> 00:34:41,689 You welched on a $200 bet. 867 00:34:41,690 --> 00:34:43,731 You sent me an accidental text on purpose. 868 00:34:43,732 --> 00:34:46,230 I invented the accidental text, okay? 869 00:34:46,231 --> 00:34:48,607 Yeah, go back to your table. Get out. Go back. 870 00:34:51,106 --> 00:34:52,439 And, you... 871 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:53,772 You've been drinking water all night, 872 00:34:53,773 --> 00:34:55,188 haven't made one trip to the bathroom. 873 00:34:55,189 --> 00:34:56,731 Not one trip. I've been clocking you. 874 00:34:56,732 --> 00:34:59,314 Sir. Sir! I have a condition. 875 00:34:59,315 --> 00:35:01,272 Yeah, you have a condition, all right. 876 00:35:01,273 --> 00:35:02,800 You're a psychopath who uses a weak bladder 877 00:35:02,801 --> 00:35:03,801 to take advantage of people. 878 00:35:03,873 --> 00:35:06,897 But first, the funniest doc on the links, 879 00:35:06,898 --> 00:35:10,440 - Dr. Nathan Winocur. - (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 880 00:35:11,732 --> 00:35:13,689 MAN: Come on up here. 881 00:35:13,690 --> 00:35:15,105 You're gonna love this guy. 882 00:35:15,106 --> 00:35:17,607 (MUSIC PLAYING) 883 00:35:31,939 --> 00:35:35,731 Larry. Hey. It's Dave. 884 00:35:35,732 --> 00:35:37,731 - Oh! Hey. - Three houses down. 885 00:35:37,732 --> 00:35:39,314 - How are you? - Yeah, yeah, good, good. 886 00:35:39,315 --> 00:35:41,063 It's really good to see you here, Larry. 887 00:35:41,064 --> 00:35:42,522 Yeah, good... good to see you. 888 00:35:42,523 --> 00:35:44,980 Yeah. I love the car wash. 889 00:35:44,981 --> 00:35:46,938 - Oh, my God, yeah. - Right? 890 00:35:46,939 --> 00:35:49,647 It's just endlessly fascinating, you know? 891 00:35:49,648 --> 00:35:51,314 It comes down on a conveyer, 892 00:35:51,315 --> 00:35:53,314 the brushes, the water. 893 00:35:53,315 --> 00:35:55,105 - You feel like you wanna go through it. - That's right. 894 00:35:55,106 --> 00:35:56,689 - You know? - That's exactly right. 895 00:35:56,690 --> 00:36:00,314 I look at a dirty car, Larry, and I feel sorry for it. 896 00:36:00,315 --> 00:36:02,480 It's almost like it's screaming out, 897 00:36:02,481 --> 00:36:04,148 "Wash me! 898 00:36:05,481 --> 00:36:07,439 Wash me." 899 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:09,523 - Good to see you, Larry. - Yeah. 900 00:36:10,857 --> 00:36:14,315 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 901 00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:28,200 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -