1 00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:04,590 (train chugging) 2 00:00:04,610 --> 00:00:08,140 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 3 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,380 (train whistle blows) 4 00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:13,809 ADULT SHELDON: I've always loved trains. 5 00:00:13,810 --> 00:00:16,909 In fact, if my career 6 00:00:16,910 --> 00:00:20,349 in theoretical physics hadn't worked out, my backup plan 7 00:00:20,350 --> 00:00:22,789 was to become a professional ticket taker. 8 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,150 Or hobo. 9 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,360 (train whistle blows) 10 00:00:27,330 --> 00:00:30,159 ♪ ♪ 11 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:34,499 And when I figured out that trains allowed me 12 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:36,499 to prove Newton's first law... 13 00:00:36,500 --> 00:00:38,969 An object in motion stays in motion 14 00:00:38,970 --> 00:00:41,339 with the same speed and in the same direction 15 00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:44,190 unless acted upon by an unbalanced force... 16 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,279 I felt like Neil Armstrong on the moon, 17 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,309 alone and happy. 18 00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:50,919 MARY: Shelly, dinner's ready! 19 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,129 ♪ Be-bop-a-lula, baby, what I say ♪ 20 00:00:53,130 --> 00:00:56,229 (giggles) I don't care how dimwitted you are. 21 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:59,259 Scientific principles have to make you smile. 22 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:02,050 Of course, nobody I knew in East Texas 23 00:01:02,060 --> 00:01:06,029 in 1989 cared about Newtonian physics. 24 00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:07,950 The only Newtons they cared about 25 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,489 were Wayne and Fig. 26 00:01:09,490 --> 00:01:11,299 MISSY: Sheldon, if you don't get in here, 27 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:13,739 - I'm gonna lick your toothbrush! - Coming! 28 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,239 That's my sister. 29 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,419 And she's done it before. 30 00:01:17,420 --> 00:01:19,579 ♪ Do the walk of life ♪ 31 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,190 ♪ Yeah, he do the walk of life. ♪ 32 00:01:21,390 --> 00:01:22,619 The hell were you doing 33 00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:23,899 - out there? - George, 34 00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:24,850 language. 35 00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:26,289 What language? So? 36 00:01:26,290 --> 00:01:28,759 I was exploring dimensional kinematics. 37 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:30,220 Admit it... He's adopted. 38 00:01:30,230 --> 00:01:31,649 SHELDON: How can I be adopted 39 00:01:31,650 --> 00:01:33,049 when I have a twin sister? 40 00:01:33,050 --> 00:01:34,890 Think, monkey, think. 41 00:01:34,900 --> 00:01:35,900 MARY: That's enough. 42 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:36,900 No one's adopted. 43 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:37,800 I wish I was. 44 00:01:37,801 --> 00:01:39,299 That can still be arranged. 45 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:40,689 Now, let's pray. 46 00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:42,270 A moment, please. 47 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:44,970 (sighs) 48 00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:46,660 - Leave him be. - He can hold hands 49 00:01:46,670 --> 00:01:48,229 with his family. It won't kill him. 50 00:01:48,230 --> 00:01:49,730 We don't know that. 51 00:01:49,740 --> 00:01:51,879 Georgie, did you wash your hands before dinner? 52 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:53,349 Or even this week? 53 00:01:53,350 --> 00:01:54,579 None of your business. 54 00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:56,040 Hence the mittens. 55 00:01:57,370 --> 00:01:59,539 MARY: Thank you, God, for this food 56 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:02,039 we're about to receive and for the nourishment of our bodies, 57 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,769 and bless the hands that prepared it. 58 00:02:03,770 --> 00:02:05,020 ALL: Amen. 59 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,909 How come we ain't got no tater tots? 60 00:02:08,910 --> 00:02:10,469 I made tater tots last night. 61 00:02:10,470 --> 00:02:11,800 GEORGE: I'd take tater tots 62 00:02:11,810 --> 00:02:13,420 over mashed potaters any day. 63 00:02:13,430 --> 00:02:15,330 - Just eat what I made you. - Can we at least 64 00:02:15,340 --> 00:02:16,639 have tater tots tomorrow? 65 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:18,559 ADULT SHELDON: It was family dinners like this 66 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,629 that led me to adopt a mid-Atlantic accent. 67 00:02:21,630 --> 00:02:23,349 Nobel Prize winners... 68 00:02:23,350 --> 00:02:25,450 (Southern accent): ought not be orderin' tater tots. 69 00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:27,420 Everybody excited to start school Monday? 70 00:02:27,430 --> 00:02:28,280 I am. 71 00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:29,949 I guess so. 72 00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,280 MARY: Georgie? 73 00:02:31,290 --> 00:02:33,010 Freshman year, that's a big deal. 74 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,650 How can I be excited when he's gonna be 75 00:02:34,660 --> 00:02:35,949 in the same grade as me? 76 00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:37,609 SHELDON: Don't worry, Georgie, I'm not planning 77 00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:39,989 on being in the ninth grade for very long. 78 00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:42,489 All I know is he's not in the same grade as me anymore, 79 00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:43,759 and I'm thrilled. 80 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,719 Good luck with your finger painting. 81 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,669 You're gonna get your ass kicked in high school. 82 00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:49,190 MARY: Hey, language. 83 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,629 I'm not going to be assaulted. 84 00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:52,699 High school is a haven for higher learning. 85 00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:54,030 Oh, dear God. 86 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,039 Speaking of God, who's going to church 87 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,730 - with me tomorrow? - GEORGE SR.: I can't. 88 00:02:57,740 --> 00:02:59,350 I'm meeting with the other coaches. 89 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,620 You can't meet after church? 90 00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:02,510 No, Mary, I can't meet after church. 91 00:03:03,910 --> 00:03:05,249 Georgie? 92 00:03:05,250 --> 00:03:08,050 I got to study my playbook. 93 00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:12,100 I'll go with you, Mom. 94 00:03:12,110 --> 00:03:13,469 MISSY: Why are you going? 95 00:03:13,470 --> 00:03:15,220 - You don't believe in God. - No, 96 00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:16,739 but I believe in Mom. 97 00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:18,339 I'll take it. Missy? 98 00:03:18,340 --> 00:03:19,740 Can't, Heather asked me to... 99 00:03:19,750 --> 00:03:22,379 - You're goin'. - Son of a bitch. 100 00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:23,579 - Hey. - Ow! 101 00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:24,580 (laughs) 102 00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:27,149 MARY: Missy... (gasps) Don't you 103 00:03:27,150 --> 00:03:29,889 throw something at the dinner table. George Jr. 104 00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:33,119 ADULT SHELDON: Jane Goodall had to go to Africa to study apes. 105 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,250 MISSY: Hey! 106 00:03:34,260 --> 00:03:36,229 I just had to go to dinner. 107 00:03:36,230 --> 00:03:38,510 Never at the dinner table! 108 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,119 You knock that off, George! 109 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,230 D-Do not retaliate! 110 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:46,300 ALL: ♪ Onward, Christian soldiers ♪ 111 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:50,709 ♪ Marching as to war ♪ 112 00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:55,549 ♪ With the cross of Jesus ♪ 113 00:03:55,550 --> 00:04:01,649 ♪ Going on before. ♪ 114 00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:05,189 In Matthew nine, verse four, Jesus said, 115 00:04:05,190 --> 00:04:09,459 "Why would you entertain evil thoughts in your hearts?" 116 00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:11,729 - (quietly): Do you have evil thoughts? - Shh. 117 00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:13,840 I just don't think this part applies to me. 118 00:04:13,850 --> 00:04:16,330 That's fine. Be quiet and listen. 119 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,269 I'm only nine years old. 120 00:04:18,270 --> 00:04:20,300 Most evil doesn't start till puberty. 121 00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:21,439 (clears throat) 122 00:04:21,440 --> 00:04:22,749 Hello. 123 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:24,919 Philippians 4:8, 124 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,079 "Finally, brothers, whatever is..." 125 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:28,779 Do you have evil thoughts? 126 00:04:28,780 --> 00:04:30,210 I'm having one right now. 127 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:31,429 Really? What is it? 128 00:04:31,430 --> 00:04:34,149 When we get home, I'm gonna kick your little balls. 129 00:04:34,150 --> 00:04:37,659 You can't. They haven't descended yet. 130 00:04:37,660 --> 00:04:39,989 - Mom? - What? 131 00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:42,390 When should I be expecting my testicles? 132 00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,629 "...whatever is admirable..." 133 00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:45,769 What is wrong with him? 134 00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:47,489 Nothin' is wrong with him. 135 00:04:47,490 --> 00:04:49,910 Now, turn around before I knock your lights out. 136 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:52,869 PASTOR: think continually on these things. 137 00:04:52,870 --> 00:04:54,279 A good thought leads 138 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:55,770 to a good thing. 139 00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:57,869 You feel it in your body. You feel it in your... 140 00:04:57,870 --> 00:05:00,189 ADULT SHELDON: My mom was my Christian soldier. 141 00:05:00,190 --> 00:05:02,549 Leads to evil things and sits there and... 142 00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:05,630 And for the record, they descended when I was 15. 143 00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:12,399 (whirring) 144 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,169 ♪ ♪ 145 00:05:15,170 --> 00:05:18,679 Shelly, it's your last day of summer. Go out and enjoy it. 146 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,840 But I have to learn the student handbook. 147 00:05:20,850 --> 00:05:23,109 Ooh, did you know extreme hairstyles, 148 00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:25,459 goatees and mustaches are not allowed? 149 00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:28,329 - I didn't. - I personally find that very reassuring. 150 00:05:28,330 --> 00:05:30,550 Look what a beautiful day it is. 151 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,120 (loud whirring) 152 00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:37,030 (tires screeching) 153 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:41,300 (deep barking) 154 00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:45,059 Go play. 155 00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:48,640 "Go play"... if only life were that simple. 156 00:05:54,350 --> 00:05:56,339 There, I played. 157 00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:57,779 Hey, Sheldon! 158 00:05:57,780 --> 00:05:59,509 Hello, Billy Sparks. 159 00:05:59,510 --> 00:06:02,049 - Hello, Matilda Sparks. - I heard 160 00:06:02,050 --> 00:06:04,350 - you're going to high school tomorrow. - I am. 161 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:06,259 You're going to have to find someone else 162 00:06:06,260 --> 00:06:07,920 to torment on the playground. 163 00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:10,029 "Torment"? 164 00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:12,129 (sighs) It means to maliciously harass. 165 00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:13,829 "Her ass"? (chuckles) 166 00:06:13,830 --> 00:06:15,299 That's funny. 167 00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:16,809 Well, this was nice. 168 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,370 Hey, doofus! 169 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,080 (squawks) 170 00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:21,400 Mom! 171 00:06:21,410 --> 00:06:24,870 - Good girl. - Mom! 172 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,459 MARY: What am I supposed to do? His feet are growing. 173 00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:29,309 GEORGE SR.: Why can't he wear Georgie's old shoes? 174 00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:30,510 MARY: He won't hold your hand. 175 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,870 You think he's gonna put his feet 176 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,109 in his brother's smelly shoes? 177 00:06:33,110 --> 00:06:34,889 GEORGE SR.: Well, we damn well better cut back somewhere. 178 00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:36,749 MARY: Will you please keep your voice down? 179 00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:37,789 (door shuts) 180 00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:39,800 They're fighting about you again. 181 00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:41,919 They're fighting about money. 182 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:44,690 It's a common argument in marriages. 183 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,329 (door opens) 184 00:06:46,330 --> 00:06:47,999 Lights out. 185 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,540 Big day tomorrow. 186 00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:51,899 Mom? 187 00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:53,169 Hmm? 188 00:06:53,170 --> 00:06:55,469 Do we have financial problems? 189 00:06:55,470 --> 00:06:58,139 Don't you worry about that. 190 00:06:58,140 --> 00:06:59,639 We are fine. 191 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,109 Now, go to sleep. 192 00:07:02,110 --> 00:07:03,450 (sighs) 193 00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:06,379 She's lying. She just said that to make you feel better. 194 00:07:06,380 --> 00:07:08,749 Mom doesn't lie. 195 00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,350 Sure, she thinks 196 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,089 the Earth was made in six days, 197 00:07:12,090 --> 00:07:14,600 but that's 'cause she's gullible, not a liar. 198 00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,099 MISSY: Mom, 199 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:22,299 Sheldon can't find his bowtie. 200 00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:24,809 Really? I laid it out for him. 201 00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:27,069 Leave it alone, Mary. He doesn't need a bowtie. 202 00:07:27,070 --> 00:07:29,669 It's his first day of school. Let him wear what he wants. 203 00:07:29,670 --> 00:07:32,329 SHELDON: Mom, I can't find my bowtie! 204 00:07:32,330 --> 00:07:34,740 Dear Lord, why's he got to wear a bowtie? 205 00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:37,210 Can I drive in with you? 206 00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:38,599 Sure. 207 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:40,780 Everybody's gonna know he's your brother. 208 00:07:40,790 --> 00:07:42,289 It's gonna be awful for you. 209 00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,589 Tell her to shut up. 210 00:07:43,590 --> 00:07:45,289 She's not wrong. 211 00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,989 (TV plays quietly) 212 00:07:46,990 --> 00:07:48,859 - It's got to be here. - SHELDON: It's not. 213 00:07:48,860 --> 00:07:51,729 - It's not! - Shelly, stay calm. We'll find it. 214 00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:54,029 - My tie is gone! My tie is gone! - Shelly, 215 00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:55,369 you don't really need a tie. 216 00:07:55,370 --> 00:07:58,570 I have to find my tie. I have to find my tie. 217 00:07:58,580 --> 00:08:00,049 Be right back. 218 00:08:00,050 --> 00:08:03,269 Professor Proton wears a bowtie! 219 00:08:03,270 --> 00:08:05,259 George Junior, 220 00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:08,139 - give me back that bowtie right now! - I didn't take it! 221 00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:11,019 - Don't you lie to me! - I'm not lying! 222 00:08:11,020 --> 00:08:14,419 - We'll see about that. - Stay out of my room! 223 00:08:14,420 --> 00:08:16,189 She's gonna find your dirty magazines. 224 00:08:16,190 --> 00:08:17,550 Shut up! 225 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,559 You are not having a good day. 226 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,890 (sighs) 227 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,700 (sighs) 228 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,329 Ugh! 229 00:08:29,330 --> 00:08:31,269 (sighs) 230 00:08:31,270 --> 00:08:33,569 Hey. Hey, he didn't take it. 231 00:08:33,570 --> 00:08:35,939 - Then what happened to it?! - SHELDON: Help me find my bowtie! 232 00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:37,970 I'll check in the bathroom! 233 00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:39,409 I took it. 234 00:08:39,410 --> 00:08:41,709 - Why would you do that? - Mary, 235 00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:44,159 the boy is nine years old and going into high school. 236 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,559 Isn't that weird enough? 237 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:47,319 - Give it to me. - Come on. 238 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,780 It's not just Sheldon. 239 00:08:48,790 --> 00:08:50,650 Georgie's gonna be in class with him. 240 00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,459 Not in the bathroom! 241 00:08:52,460 --> 00:08:53,820 Give it. 242 00:08:55,770 --> 00:08:57,220 ♪ Think about it ♪ 243 00:08:57,230 --> 00:09:00,510 ♪ There must be higher love ♪ 244 00:09:00,520 --> 00:09:05,449 ♪ Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above ♪ 245 00:09:05,450 --> 00:09:08,250 Would you like to play a driving game? 246 00:09:08,260 --> 00:09:10,189 Not really. I always lose. 247 00:09:10,190 --> 00:09:11,819 - I know. That's why it's fun. - (laughs) 248 00:09:11,820 --> 00:09:14,929 How about license plates with prime numbers 249 00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:17,229 - followed by a cons...? - Why don't we just talk? 250 00:09:17,230 --> 00:09:18,300 Very well. 251 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,029 You understand 252 00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:23,229 that some people are gonna be intimidated by you 253 00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:24,969 'cause of how smart you are? 254 00:09:24,970 --> 00:09:27,049 Or maybe they'll recognize my intellect 255 00:09:27,050 --> 00:09:29,029 and make me their leader. 256 00:09:29,030 --> 00:09:31,429 Lord, look after my son. 257 00:09:31,430 --> 00:09:34,460 Don't let him get stuffed in a gym bag. 258 00:09:34,470 --> 00:09:39,269 ♪ Bring me a higher love, oh, oh ♪ 259 00:09:39,270 --> 00:09:41,900 ♪ Bring me a higher love... ♪ 260 00:09:41,910 --> 00:09:44,539 (distorted sounds and voices) 261 00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:47,179 (distorted speech) 262 00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:48,540 Oh, dear. 263 00:09:48,550 --> 00:09:50,009 Yeah. 264 00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:52,659 That boy has an exposed tattoo. 265 00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:53,719 He does. 266 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:54,650 I wonder if he knows 267 00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,819 that's in violation of the dress code. 268 00:09:56,820 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaking of which, how about we lose the bowtie? 269 00:10:01,530 --> 00:10:03,289 Why? 270 00:10:03,290 --> 00:10:05,859 Look around, honey. None of the other kids are wearing one. 271 00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:07,570 Well, perhaps I'll start a fad. 272 00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:10,100 No, you won't. Please trust Mommy. 273 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,499 All right, tell you what. 274 00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:15,200 You take it off, and this weekend, 275 00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:17,470 I'll take you to RadioShack. 276 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:18,909 Hmm? 277 00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:21,079 (bell ringing) 278 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,450 (indistinct chatter) 279 00:10:25,180 --> 00:10:27,049 (growling) 280 00:10:27,050 --> 00:10:28,580 You doing okay? 281 00:10:28,590 --> 00:10:30,199 I guess. 282 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:31,750 (roars) 283 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,389 I smell ammonia. 284 00:10:33,390 --> 00:10:35,789 They must've done a thorough cleaning recently. 285 00:10:35,790 --> 00:10:37,559 I like that. 286 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:41,229 MARY: And remember, if anybody bothers you, what do you say? 287 00:10:41,230 --> 00:10:43,199 My dad's a football coach. 288 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,439 - And? - My brother's a football player. 289 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:46,499 Good. 290 00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,109 Hey, Mom, look. 291 00:10:48,110 --> 00:10:50,379 That girl's pregnant. 292 00:10:50,380 --> 00:10:51,980 Congratulations. 293 00:10:53,450 --> 00:10:55,639 (toilet flushing) 294 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,140 Well, that was revolting. 295 00:10:58,150 --> 00:11:00,909 All right. This is your homeroom. 296 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,609 Do you want me to go in with you? 297 00:11:02,610 --> 00:11:05,260 No. Although I could've used you in the restroom. 298 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,699 Okay, well... 299 00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,029 You have a good day. 300 00:11:09,030 --> 00:11:10,499 And I'll pick you up after school, 301 00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:12,169 same door we came in. 302 00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:14,809 Are you crying or having an allergy attack? 303 00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:17,139 Allergies. 304 00:11:17,140 --> 00:11:18,709 It's probably the ammonia. 305 00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,609 Probably. (sniffles) 306 00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:23,610 Okay. Let the learning begin. 307 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,959 (exhales) 308 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:37,159 All right, everybody, my name is Ms. MacElroy. 309 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,679 In addition to being your homeroom teacher, 310 00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:42,129 I'll be seeing some of you in my English class, 311 00:11:42,130 --> 00:11:44,130 and some of you on the volleyball court. 312 00:11:44,140 --> 00:11:45,969 Just to give you a little history, 313 00:11:45,970 --> 00:11:48,870 I've been here at Medford for 29 years... 314 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,049 I taught some of your older brothers and sisters, 315 00:11:51,050 --> 00:11:53,680 and sadly, some of your parents. 316 00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:56,610 Not much I haven't seen. 317 00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,529 Until today. 318 00:11:58,530 --> 00:12:01,629 I'm sure you're well aware we have a student with us, 319 00:12:01,630 --> 00:12:03,919 who, despite his young age, 320 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:06,030 is remarkably gifted. 321 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:09,460 And I expect y'all to make him feel welcome. 322 00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:11,830 Yes, Sheldon? 323 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,260 Per the student dress and grooming code, 324 00:12:14,270 --> 00:12:16,199 this boy's hair is too long, 325 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,990 this boy is wearing sports attire 326 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,040 outside of a designated area 327 00:12:20,050 --> 00:12:22,409 and this girl's blouse is diaphanous, 328 00:12:22,410 --> 00:12:24,669 which means I can see her brassiere. 329 00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:27,079 - (laughter) - Thank you. 330 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,979 I will take that into account. 331 00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:30,310 All right. 332 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:32,580 We have a few minutes before first period. 333 00:12:32,590 --> 00:12:34,720 I need y'all to fill out these forms. 334 00:12:34,730 --> 00:12:35,789 What? 335 00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:37,079 Also in violation 336 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,959 of the grooming code on page 48, 337 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,020 article five, subsection B, 338 00:12:41,030 --> 00:12:43,129 you have a bit of a mustache. 339 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,500 (laughter) 340 00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:47,699 This is a stupid idea. This boy does not 341 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,099 belong in our school. 342 00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,969 PETERSEN: Come on Vicky, it's just the first day. 343 00:12:50,970 --> 00:12:52,800 Why don't we all just take a deep breath here? 344 00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:55,699 The hell with that. Five minutes into my math class, 345 00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:56,909 he questioned my credentials. 346 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,879 How am I supposed to control a classroom when a kid accuses me 347 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,740 of being in breach of the hygiene code? 348 00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:02,549 Well, Hubert, it wouldn't kill you to shower 349 00:13:02,550 --> 00:13:04,900 a little more often. George, you want to weigh in here? 350 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:07,100 - Well... - INGRAM: Oral Roberts University 351 00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:08,219 is a wonderful school. 352 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,989 He said I was intimidated by his intelligence, 353 00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,160 and then, 354 00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:13,820 he offered to be my "leader." 355 00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:15,759 (clears throat) 356 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,130 (playing Mozart's Sonata in D) 357 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,520 (piano playing) 358 00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,039 (stops playing) 359 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,669 Do you know this sonata? 360 00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:02,010 No. 361 00:14:02,060 --> 00:14:04,159 How long have you played the piano? 362 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,829 I don't play piano. 363 00:14:06,830 --> 00:14:09,199 PETERSEN: George, 364 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:10,660 you got any thoughts here? 365 00:14:10,670 --> 00:14:12,070 I certainly do. 366 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,239 Mary, tell him. 367 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:18,109 It's simple. We don't have a choice. 368 00:14:18,110 --> 00:14:19,670 Well, you gave it a shot. 369 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,579 We wish you luck with Sheldon elsewhere... 370 00:14:21,580 --> 00:14:23,420 MARY: No, no, no. 371 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:24,709 We don't have a choice. 372 00:14:24,710 --> 00:14:25,949 He's got to stay here. 373 00:14:25,950 --> 00:14:27,239 We can't afford 374 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,120 private school. 375 00:14:28,130 --> 00:14:29,469 I sure can't homeschool him. 376 00:14:29,470 --> 00:14:31,829 He's doing calculus and Euclidean something or other. 377 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,129 Euclidean geometry. 378 00:14:33,130 --> 00:14:34,859 Guess where I learned that. 379 00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,590 Yeah, yeah, we know. 380 00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:38,979 All I care about is that 381 00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:41,649 my son gets the education he deserves, so you all 382 00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,210 are gonna have to figure this out. 383 00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:44,849 Coach, can you help me out here, please? 384 00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,380 'Cause I'm dyin'. 385 00:14:49,890 --> 00:14:51,380 I'd rather not. 386 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,390 G minor. 387 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,519 F. 388 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,370 E flat. 389 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:05,660 C minor. 390 00:15:08,510 --> 00:15:10,209 You have perfect pitch. 391 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:11,709 Okay. 392 00:15:11,710 --> 00:15:15,349 Sweetheart, you should really pursue music. 393 00:15:15,350 --> 00:15:18,250 No, thank you. Musicians take drugs. 394 00:15:19,030 --> 00:15:21,560 Is there a faculty restroom I could use? 395 00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:25,519 (whistle blows) 396 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,220 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 397 00:15:27,230 --> 00:15:28,329 (grunting) 398 00:15:28,330 --> 00:15:31,500 ♪ Ooh... ♪ 399 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,699 Cooper, Stinson, you're up. 400 00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:41,170 (laughs) Hey, look, it's the dumb brother. 401 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,640 - Okay. - (blows whistle) 402 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,889 (grunting, yelling) 403 00:15:49,890 --> 00:15:51,150 (whistle blowing) 404 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,849 BERGDOFF: That's enough. Hey. 405 00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:54,080 - (yelling) - (whistle blowing) 406 00:15:54,090 --> 00:15:56,059 BERGDOFF: Hey, that's enough! 407 00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:57,429 - Hey, hey! - GEORGE SR.: That's enough! 408 00:15:57,430 --> 00:15:58,729 Georgie. 409 00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:00,449 Georgie! Georgie! 410 00:16:00,450 --> 00:16:02,080 Stop! Stop! 411 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:08,030 What the hell is wrong with you? 412 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,799 You okay? 413 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,850 No, I'm not okay. 414 00:16:22,820 --> 00:16:24,279 Where you think you're going? 415 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,249 I quit. I don't want to play anymore! 416 00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,479 - Since when? - Since right now! 417 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:30,989 All right, what is going on? 418 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,089 What do you think's going on?! 419 00:16:33,090 --> 00:16:35,250 You mean Sheldon? 420 00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:39,729 You can't let that bother you. 421 00:16:39,730 --> 00:16:41,029 It doesn't bother you? 422 00:16:41,030 --> 00:16:43,140 You got called to the principal's office. 423 00:16:43,150 --> 00:16:45,339 Yeah, that wasn't so great. 424 00:16:45,340 --> 00:16:47,049 I can't be in the same school as him! 425 00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:48,689 Well, I don't see what choice you have. 426 00:16:48,690 --> 00:16:51,900 Right. Ever since he could talk, I quit having any choices. 427 00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:58,749 (groans) 428 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,180 I know it's hard. 429 00:17:01,190 --> 00:17:05,119 I'm telling you, as your coach, quit your whining, 430 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:07,489 get your uniform on and you get your ass back out there. 431 00:17:07,490 --> 00:17:10,490 But what about as my dad? 432 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:13,060 Your dad is having a bad day. 433 00:17:13,070 --> 00:17:14,610 Listen to your coach. 434 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:25,009 Can a clock be powered by an ordinary potato? 435 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:27,040 I hope so, boys and girls, 436 00:17:27,050 --> 00:17:30,409 or this is going to be a really boring episode. 437 00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:32,279 The supplies you'll need... 438 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,219 Why can't we watch DuckTales? 439 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,389 'Cause we don't learn anything watching DuckTales. 440 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:40,810 It's TV, we aren't supposed to learn. 441 00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:43,729 Two alligator grips and, let's see... 442 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,990 Of course, a clock. 443 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,360 Missy, go somewhere else. I need to talk to your brother. 444 00:17:48,370 --> 00:17:50,930 Why don't you go somewhere else and I can watch Duck... 445 00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:52,199 Go! 446 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:54,590 I hate everybody. 447 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,460 It's time for science. 448 00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:03,100 Hey, he was about to power a clock with a potato. 449 00:18:03,110 --> 00:18:04,310 Not possible. 450 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,249 - Now, listen... - Am I in trouble? 451 00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:08,129 No. 452 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:10,130 Maybe. Just listen. 453 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,220 You're not gonna make it in this school 454 00:18:14,230 --> 00:18:15,909 if you keep ratting people out. 455 00:18:15,910 --> 00:18:17,639 But they were breaking the grooming codes 456 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,049 and the dress codes. 457 00:18:19,050 --> 00:18:22,489 I saw one boy with a T-shirt that said... 458 00:18:22,490 --> 00:18:23,880 (whispering): "Bite me." 459 00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:26,239 Yeah. That-that's terrible. 460 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,679 Sheldon, let me tell you a little story. 461 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,070 Did you ever wonder why we moved from Galveston to Medford? 462 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,679 No. I tend to wonder about the bigger questions. 463 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,010 Okay, well, here's why. 464 00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:39,819 Your dad had a real good coaching job 465 00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:42,350 and I saw some grown-ups breaking rules. 466 00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:43,360 What'd they do? 467 00:18:43,370 --> 00:18:45,599 I-It's kind of complicated, but... 468 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,750 football coaches aren't allowed to recruit kids 469 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,199 from other high schools to play on their teams. 470 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,460 And you told on them? 471 00:18:51,470 --> 00:18:53,449 Yeah. You know what happened? 472 00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:56,469 Justice descended upon the rule breakers? 473 00:18:56,470 --> 00:19:00,039 I got fired, Sheldon. 474 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,069 And I got a bad reputation. 475 00:19:02,070 --> 00:19:04,980 Oh. That's why you drink so much beer. 476 00:19:08,850 --> 00:19:10,379 Just do yourself a favor. 477 00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:12,370 Okay? Go to school tomorrow, 478 00:19:12,380 --> 00:19:15,119 and mind your own business. 479 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,220 All right? 480 00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:19,370 Dad. 481 00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,960 Are you sad that you got fired? 482 00:19:25,530 --> 00:19:28,799 Mostly angry. 483 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,520 But yeah. 484 00:19:31,530 --> 00:19:33,690 Maybe a little sad. 485 00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,580 All right, let's say grace. 486 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,649 Thank you, God, 487 00:19:49,650 --> 00:19:52,659 for this food we are about to receive. 488 00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:55,060 (muffled praying continues) 489 00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,160 ADULT SHELDON: That was the first time 490 00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:04,169 I held my father's hand. 491 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:07,339 MARY: our bodies and bless the hands that prepared it. 492 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,579 Amen. 493 00:20:08,580 --> 00:20:10,110 - GEORGIE: Amen. - Amen. 494 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:16,310 MARY: Hey, George Jr., wait your turn. 495 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,319 ADULT SHELDON: I wouldn't touch my brother's hand 496 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,049 until 17 years later, 497 00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:22,610 thanks to the invention of Purell. 498 00:20:29,610 --> 00:20:32,040 ♪ ♪ 499 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:37,980 You know what I find comforting? 500 00:20:37,990 --> 00:20:39,249 What's that, baby? 501 00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:41,450 In a world filled with uncertainty, 502 00:20:41,460 --> 00:20:43,290 this place will be here forever. 503 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,400 _ 504 00:20:45,420 --> 00:20:47,460 CLERK: Hey, Sheldon, how you doing? 505 00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:54,470 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com --