1 00:00:14,898 --> 00:00:18,200 If sammi doesn't want to take clarinet anymore, she doesn't want to. 2 00:00:18,234 --> 00:00:20,969 - I don't wanna push her. - You're the one who pushed it, not me. 3 00:00:21,004 --> 00:00:23,238 - God, where's the tissues? - I don't know. 4 00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,741 I'm having an allergy attack. 5 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,479 What is this? 6 00:00:32,348 --> 00:00:35,350 What is this, jeff? Whose panties are these? 7 00:00:35,385 --> 00:00:37,786 - Uh... - What the fuck is this? 8 00:00:37,821 --> 00:00:39,888 It's your car. What are these doing in there? 9 00:00:39,923 --> 00:00:42,324 All right, pull the fuck over. 10 00:00:42,358 --> 00:00:44,393 Pull over. 11 00:00:47,864 --> 00:00:49,581 I really hate shopping for pants. 12 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:53,485 - Seriously, what's worse than trying on pants? - Exactly. 13 00:00:53,503 --> 00:00:55,921 I think those are gonna look great once they're hemmed. 14 00:00:55,955 --> 00:00:57,990 - How do they feel? - Good. 15 00:00:58,024 --> 00:01:01,326 All right. 16 00:01:01,344 --> 00:01:03,378 What the hell's going... What's... What's this? 17 00:01:03,413 --> 00:01:05,848 It's the fire alarm. Yeah, we need to leave. 18 00:01:05,882 --> 00:01:07,766 But I left my pants in the dressing room. 19 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:09,635 Jesus. 20 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,859 Hey, what's going on? 21 00:01:16,893 --> 00:01:18,677 Fire alarm. 22 00:01:18,695 --> 00:01:21,313 - That's it? - Yeah, gotta be thorough. 23 00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:24,399 - Is that your name? - Yeah. 24 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:25,951 - Krupke? - Mm-hmm. 25 00:01:25,985 --> 00:01:28,737 - Really? - Yeah, matt krupke. 26 00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:31,490 - You're officer krupke. - I am. 27 00:01:31,524 --> 00:01:33,125 Familiar with "west side story"? 28 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,294 - No, sir. - What? 29 00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:38,664 There's a character in "west side story" named officer krupke. 30 00:01:38,698 --> 00:01:41,216 - Okay. - You're officer krupke. 31 00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:43,418 - You never heard the song? - No, sir. 32 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,754 ♪ oh, officer krupke, what are we to do? ♪ 33 00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:48,123 ♪ gee, officer krupke,♪ 34 00:01:48,158 --> 00:01:49,875 - you never heard that? - No. 35 00:01:49,893 --> 00:01:51,376 - No? - No. 36 00:01:51,394 --> 00:01:53,228 By the way, they wanted to say "fuck you." 37 00:01:53,263 --> 00:01:54,930 But in the '50s on broadway, 38 00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,882 sondheim, he couldn't write "fuck you." 39 00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:59,184 So "krup you" is a substitute for "fuck you." 40 00:01:59,218 --> 00:02:01,854 - Mmm. - Has anybody ever said "krup you"? 41 00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:03,355 - No. - Huh. 42 00:02:03,389 --> 00:02:05,674 Some guy told me to go fuck my face once. 43 00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:08,026 He went to jail. 44 00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:09,695 Okay. 45 00:02:09,729 --> 00:02:11,413 How much longer? 46 00:02:11,447 --> 00:02:13,699 - An hour, maybe two. - Really? 47 00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:15,901 If tech wants to get in there, it could be two hours. 48 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,086 Are you kidding? I'm not gonna wait that long. 49 00:02:18,121 --> 00:02:20,405 - Okay, thank you. - Thank you. 50 00:02:20,423 --> 00:02:24,376 ♪ dear kindly sergeant krupke, you gotta understand ♪ 51 00:02:24,410 --> 00:02:27,078 ♪ it's just our bringin' upke that gets us outta hand ♪ 52 00:02:27,096 --> 00:02:29,832 ♪ our mothers all are junkies, our fathers all are drunks ♪ 53 00:02:29,866 --> 00:02:32,935 ♪ golly, moses, naturally we're punks ♪ 54 00:02:32,969 --> 00:02:36,371 ♪ gee, officer krupke, we're very upset... ♪ 55 00:02:43,796 --> 00:02:45,264 hold on, hold on. 56 00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:48,033 Come here. Come here, shh. 57 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,701 I got in a lot of trouble with susie. 58 00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:52,621 I need your help so bad. 59 00:02:52,655 --> 00:02:54,723 She found a pair of panties 60 00:02:54,757 --> 00:02:56,258 in my glove compartment. 61 00:02:56,292 --> 00:02:58,577 Oy vey iz mir. Are you kidding me? 62 00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:00,946 - No, I am not kidding you. - How the hell did you do that? 63 00:03:00,964 --> 00:03:02,898 I forget they were even in there. I forgot... 64 00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:05,067 - But here's where I need your help. - Man, oh man. 65 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,402 I told her they were your panties. 66 00:03:09,138 --> 00:03:11,773 - So you're good? - What do you mean they're my panties? 67 00:03:11,808 --> 00:03:13,575 No no, I told her that they're your panties, 68 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,645 that you like wearing women's panties. 69 00:03:18,264 --> 00:03:20,299 - What? - Yeah, that's what I told her. 70 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:22,234 I told her you like wearing women's panties. 71 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,319 Where the fuck did you come up with that? What does that mean? 72 00:03:24,354 --> 00:03:26,405 I think it's pretty brilliant, actually. 73 00:03:26,439 --> 00:03:27,906 You're gonna cover for me, right? 74 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,025 Please please please? You're gonna cover for me? 75 00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:32,044 They're your panties, right? 76 00:03:32,078 --> 00:03:33,812 I - I can't... I can't go in there. 77 00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:35,747 - Why not? - I'm embarrassed. 78 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:38,116 - Nothing to be embarrassed about. - I've got panties on. 79 00:03:38,150 --> 00:03:40,619 - Only she knows. - How am I supposed to act now? 80 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:42,471 Normal. Panties up here, not... 81 00:03:42,505 --> 00:03:43,989 You don't have to really wear them. 82 00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:45,490 You just know you've got them on 83 00:03:45,525 --> 00:03:47,960 and maybe you're a little more comfortable than normal. 84 00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:51,580 A little more at ease. Maybe a little... Little kinder. 85 00:03:51,614 --> 00:03:53,298 - Help me please. - This is really odd. 86 00:03:53,332 --> 00:03:56,568 - But we're pals. I would do it for you. - This is very odd. 87 00:03:56,603 --> 00:03:58,520 Odd yet brilliant. 88 00:03:58,554 --> 00:04:00,572 Completely and utterly brilliant. 89 00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:03,075 My best one ever maybe. 90 00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:07,029 - All right. - You're a friend. 91 00:04:07,063 --> 00:04:09,180 You're a fucking friend. 92 00:04:09,198 --> 00:04:11,450 Thank you. Oh, thank you. Come on. 93 00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,569 Susie: god. 94 00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:16,705 Virginia: yeah, I bet, exactly. 95 00:04:16,739 --> 00:04:20,542 Well, is the architecture not happening right now? 96 00:04:20,576 --> 00:04:22,594 - Hey, larry. - Oh, hey, jeff. 97 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:26,048 - Larry: hi, hey. - Dennis: hello hello hello. 98 00:04:26,082 --> 00:04:27,966 Hey, virginia, hi. 99 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,168 - Dennis, hello. - It's nice to see you. It's a pleasure. 100 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,888 - How's the golf game? - Good good, yeah. 101 00:04:32,922 --> 00:04:35,807 Larry, you have a security tag on your pants. 102 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:37,392 Oh, yeah. 103 00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:38,894 That's weird. Why? 104 00:04:38,928 --> 00:04:41,563 Well, virginia, if you must know, 105 00:04:41,597 --> 00:04:44,333 I was at banana republic and a fire alarm went off. 106 00:04:44,367 --> 00:04:46,234 - Virginia: uh-huh. - And I was just waiting 107 00:04:46,269 --> 00:04:48,971 and the store didn't open back up, so I just thought I'd take off. 108 00:04:49,005 --> 00:04:50,989 But you know what was amazing, 109 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,541 when I was outside the store, 110 00:04:52,575 --> 00:04:55,410 I was talking to an officer 111 00:04:55,445 --> 00:04:56,912 and his name was krupke. 112 00:04:56,946 --> 00:04:59,581 - Uh-huh. - And he'd never heard 113 00:04:59,615 --> 00:05:01,350 of the character from "west side story." 114 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,618 - Isn't that unbelievable? - Unbelievable. 115 00:05:03,653 --> 00:05:05,187 Yeah, I had to sing the song for him. 116 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:06,688 ♪ we're disturbed, we're disturbed ♪ 117 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:08,206 ♪ we're the most disturbed ♪ 118 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,708 ♪ like we're psychologically... ♪ 119 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:11,827 all right, all right. Enough enough. 120 00:05:11,861 --> 00:05:13,795 I know all the lyrics from "west side story." 121 00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,781 - Really? Fascinating. - Yeah. 122 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,750 - Virginia: amazing. - I know the whole thing. It's interesting. 123 00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:20,802 Sometimes you think you know somebody, 124 00:05:20,853 --> 00:05:23,638 but you really don't know them at all. 125 00:05:23,673 --> 00:05:26,775 Hey, larry, I'm auditioning for the reunion show, 126 00:05:26,809 --> 00:05:28,777 for the "seinfeld" reunion show tomorrow 127 00:05:28,811 --> 00:05:30,946 for the part of george's ex-wife. 128 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,814 Dennis: she'd be great. 129 00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:35,434 - Don't you think she'd be great? - I really hope I get it. 130 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:37,536 Huh, okay. 131 00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,087 So before larry walked in, 132 00:05:39,122 --> 00:05:40,756 you were telling me the story of how you met. 133 00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:42,257 Go ahead. I wanna hear. 134 00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:43,775 - It was great. - Larry: all right, okay. 135 00:05:43,793 --> 00:05:45,694 - I was building this strip mall... - Hold it a sec. 136 00:05:45,728 --> 00:05:47,596 I really have a hard time 137 00:05:47,630 --> 00:05:49,364 with "how we met" stories, okay? 138 00:05:49,399 --> 00:05:50,999 - So I'm gonna... - Well, I wanna hear it. 139 00:05:51,034 --> 00:05:53,135 - We don't have to tell it. - Larry: no, you can hear it. 140 00:05:53,169 --> 00:05:54,636 I find it cloying and annoying. 141 00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:56,304 Well, fine. I wanna hear it. 142 00:05:56,339 --> 00:05:57,956 They were in the middle, I wanna hear it. 143 00:05:57,974 --> 00:06:00,092 Why don't you go take a walk around the block, okay? 144 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,244 By the time you're back, they'll be finished. 145 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,845 - Okay, fine. - Fine, bye. 146 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,313 - Bye. - All right, so? 147 00:06:05,348 --> 00:06:07,399 I was building a strip mall in hesperia... 148 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:08,950 Let me guess how it ends. 149 00:06:08,985 --> 00:06:12,020 - You get together in... In the end? - Bye, larry. 150 00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:15,374 - So you were the architect... - And she was into real estate. 151 00:06:18,661 --> 00:06:20,662 - Lemonade. - Mister, come here. 152 00:06:20,696 --> 00:06:22,898 - We have the best lemonade. - You wanna buy some lemonade? 153 00:06:22,932 --> 00:06:24,900 Hi, selling lemonade, huh? 154 00:06:24,934 --> 00:06:26,968 - Yep. - Good for you. 155 00:06:27,003 --> 00:06:28,637 Good for you. You're entrepreneurs. 156 00:06:28,671 --> 00:06:30,655 Hey, mister, did you steal those pants? 157 00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:32,491 No no no, I... I didn't steal them. 158 00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:34,960 An alarm went off in the store and I had to leave the store. 159 00:06:34,994 --> 00:06:36,962 I mean, don't they want your pants back? 160 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:39,681 I have to bring them back and i'm going to, but I didn't steal. 161 00:06:39,715 --> 00:06:41,183 Anyway, I'll have some lemonade. 162 00:06:41,217 --> 00:06:42,851 - How much is it? - A buck. 163 00:06:42,885 --> 00:06:44,519 A buck? Fine. 164 00:06:44,554 --> 00:06:47,322 Thank you very much. Here you go. 165 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:53,195 Are you kidding me? 166 00:06:53,229 --> 00:06:55,030 Oh my god. This is awful. 167 00:06:55,064 --> 00:06:57,299 I'm not even joking. Who made that? 168 00:06:57,333 --> 00:06:58,934 - Us. It's beautiful. - You made it? 169 00:06:58,968 --> 00:07:00,569 - Give me my money back. - Kids: no. 170 00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,487 - Girl: you can't. - I want my dollar back. 171 00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:04,523 Just get out of here if you don't like it. 172 00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:06,524 Fine, I'll get out. It's terrible. 173 00:07:06,542 --> 00:07:08,043 - You stink. - You stink! 174 00:07:08,077 --> 00:07:09,494 I'm gonna report you guys for that. 175 00:07:09,528 --> 00:07:10,829 - Boy: go ahead! - I'm going to. 176 00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:12,264 - Boy: turd! - Girl: loser! 177 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:16,635 - Bald asshole! - Girl: get outta here! Mom! 178 00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:21,890 Couldn't stand another "how we met" story? 179 00:07:21,924 --> 00:07:23,608 - Is that it? - No, I couldn't. 180 00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,961 Oh, god. 181 00:07:25,995 --> 00:07:27,896 What are you looking at? 182 00:07:27,930 --> 00:07:29,631 What? I'm not looking at anything. 183 00:07:29,665 --> 00:07:31,883 - What are you, self-conscious? - No, you're looking me over. 184 00:07:31,901 --> 00:07:34,719 I was not looking you over, paranoid. 185 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:38,056 Don't know what you're talking about. 186 00:07:38,074 --> 00:07:39,991 - Hi. - Hi, susie. 187 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:42,244 Excuse me. Excuse me. 188 00:07:42,278 --> 00:07:45,197 Are you the gentleman who was just talking 189 00:07:45,231 --> 00:07:47,699 to my kids out there by the lemonade stand? 190 00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,752 I was by the lemonade stand talking to some youngsters. 191 00:07:50,786 --> 00:07:54,089 Because apparently some guy came over 192 00:07:54,123 --> 00:07:55,907 and started making fun of their lemonade. 193 00:07:55,925 --> 00:07:58,343 - Yeah? - Was that you, perchance? 194 00:07:58,377 --> 00:08:01,263 - Guilty. - What... What's wrong with you? 195 00:08:01,297 --> 00:08:02,848 I think they deserve an adult critique. 196 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:05,433 If they're gonna charge a dollar and give you this much lemonade... 197 00:08:05,468 --> 00:08:07,102 I felt a little ripped off. 198 00:08:07,136 --> 00:08:09,688 - You knew it was kids at a stand... - Right, it's kids. 199 00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:11,640 ...selling lemonade. Your choice. 200 00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:14,592 The stand needs a little supervision, that's all I'm saying. 201 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:16,728 You know what? They're in that little kid bubble. 202 00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:19,848 They're buds, and you just... You know, just piss all over it. 203 00:08:19,882 --> 00:08:21,933 I didn't piss on the buds. 204 00:08:21,951 --> 00:08:23,985 No, I helped the buds. I'm helping the buds grow. 205 00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:26,538 - I'm good for buds. - Stay away from the buds, larry. 206 00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:30,158 - May I be excused? - Susie: get the hell out of here. 207 00:08:30,209 --> 00:08:32,627 Let me tell you something. Yeah, you. 208 00:08:32,662 --> 00:08:35,463 You talk to my kids again, calling the cops. 209 00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:37,582 Duly noted. 210 00:08:44,623 --> 00:08:46,474 hi. Virginia sloan. 211 00:08:46,509 --> 00:08:48,260 - Please sign in. - Okay. 212 00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:51,096 - Virginia. - Cheryl. 213 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,630 Oh my god. 214 00:08:52,648 --> 00:08:54,349 You're auditioning? 215 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:55,817 Yeah. 216 00:08:55,851 --> 00:08:57,819 For the same part, how strange. 217 00:08:57,853 --> 00:09:00,689 - Oh my god, are you here for amanda? - Yeah, I am. 218 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:02,307 - Hmm. - That is so weird. 219 00:09:02,325 --> 00:09:05,310 Why would you have to audition? It's based on you. 220 00:09:05,328 --> 00:09:07,662 Well, you know, 221 00:09:07,697 --> 00:09:09,814 I think it's a part... Part of the process that... 222 00:09:09,832 --> 00:09:12,000 - I don't know. - That's weird that he would make you. 223 00:09:12,034 --> 00:09:13,868 Larry was explaining it to me. 224 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,338 - Hey, how's dennis? - He's really good. 225 00:09:16,372 --> 00:09:17,956 - Is he? - He's really good, yeah. 226 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,541 You know, actually, i'm meeting him 227 00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:22,127 for lunch later today. 228 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,846 - Do you want to maybe join us? - I would love to. 229 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,215 - Yeah? - Yeah, catch up with you guys. 230 00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:29,351 - I haven't seen you in forever. - That would be great. 231 00:09:29,385 --> 00:09:31,436 - I hate auditioning. - Mark: cheryl, you're next. 232 00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:33,388 - Okay, I'm next. - Good luck. 233 00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:35,340 - Good luck to you. - You don't need any luck. 234 00:09:35,358 --> 00:09:38,509 - You're gonna get it. - Well, who knows? 235 00:09:38,527 --> 00:09:41,179 Cheryl's here to read for amanda. 236 00:09:41,197 --> 00:09:42,764 - Jerry: oh. - Hi. 237 00:09:42,798 --> 00:09:45,116 - Jerry: hi, cheryl. - Hey. 238 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,618 - This is... - How are you doing? 239 00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,119 - Hey, I'm good. - Why don't you go? 240 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:49,621 - Go ahead. - Okay. 241 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,122 - All right. - All right. 242 00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:52,724 - Hey. - Hey, larry. 243 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:55,693 This is weird. Oh my god. 244 00:09:55,711 --> 00:09:57,479 What's going on with that? 245 00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:59,347 Oh... 246 00:09:59,382 --> 00:10:00,999 Well, I was in a store yesterday. 247 00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:02,968 I was going to... I was just trying these on 248 00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,120 and then an alarm went off. 249 00:10:05,154 --> 00:10:07,055 We all went out of the store, 250 00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:08,890 and I didn't feel like waiting around. 251 00:10:08,924 --> 00:10:10,458 So I'm gonna return them today. 252 00:10:10,493 --> 00:10:12,844 Why didn't you just wear your own pants today? 253 00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:15,647 'cause then I'd have to carry these around. 254 00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:17,265 Now I don't have to carry anything. 255 00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:19,651 He wears the pants instead of carrying the pants. 256 00:10:19,685 --> 00:10:21,303 - That's smart. - Yeah. 257 00:10:21,337 --> 00:10:22,937 - Shall we get started? - Yes. 258 00:10:22,972 --> 00:10:25,006 Why hold a hat when you could just put it on your head? 259 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,708 - Wear a hat. - Yeah, exactly. 260 00:10:26,742 --> 00:10:28,860 But it's not a hat, it's a pair of pants with a security... 261 00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:30,362 - So what? - Okay. 262 00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:33,164 And so, I'm on an airplane and I'm on the phone. 263 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,283 - Right. - Ahem, anytime? 264 00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,868 Ready? Hello? 265 00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:39,004 George? Oh my god. 266 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:40,705 Honey, you couldn't call at a worse time. 267 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,573 - I got the tivo guy here. - Oh my god, george, 268 00:10:42,591 --> 00:10:44,575 we're going through a really big storm right now. 269 00:10:44,593 --> 00:10:46,328 Hold on, honey. What? You need the warranty? 270 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,846 Honey, let me ask you a question 271 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,981 do you know where the warranty card is on the tivo? 272 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,749 No no, I don't. I... 273 00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:53,668 Hey, in case something happens to me... 274 00:10:53,703 --> 00:10:55,503 I mean, it's really bad up here... 275 00:10:55,538 --> 00:10:57,639 - Is it in the kitchen drawer by any chance? - What? 276 00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:59,424 I'm sorry, can't hear you. What is that? 277 00:10:59,442 --> 00:11:00,892 What did you say? 278 00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:02,827 George, I just wanna tell you in case... 279 00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:05,313 No, not you, honey, the tivo guy. Hold on one second. 280 00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:08,266 Cheryl: for some reason if I don't make it... 281 00:11:08,284 --> 00:11:10,035 The tivo guy wants to know the name of the guy 282 00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:11,602 who installed this thing. 283 00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:13,905 I don't know. I don't know his name. 284 00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:16,708 - Was it tom or something? - I just want you to know... 285 00:11:16,742 --> 00:11:19,394 Or don, something like that? Maybe bill or james? 286 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,463 - Oh my god. - Wait wait, don't go. 287 00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:23,581 - What? - No. Oh, jeez. Honey, no, I'm sorry. 288 00:11:23,615 --> 00:11:25,383 You know what? The tivo guy's gonna go. 289 00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:28,837 - I'm never gonna get him again. - It's just a tivo guy. 290 00:11:28,888 --> 00:11:30,638 Mark: honey, call me back in 10 minutes, okay? 291 00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:33,425 - What? - I'm sorry, sweetheart. I love you. 292 00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:36,978 George. George! 293 00:11:37,012 --> 00:11:39,230 - Mark: nice. - That's it. 294 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,349 - Mark: great. - Very good. 295 00:11:41,384 --> 00:11:43,601 Aw, it's a little nerve-racking in here with you guys. 296 00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:45,603 - That was great. - It's the same for everybody. 297 00:11:45,637 --> 00:11:46,988 - That was great. - Yeah. 298 00:11:47,022 --> 00:11:49,023 - Okay. - Mark: I think you did great. 299 00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:51,109 - Thank you. - That was really good. You're funny. 300 00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:52,610 - All right. - Great work. 301 00:11:52,644 --> 00:11:54,195 - Thank you, mark. - Thanks for coming in. 302 00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:56,331 - Thanks, guys. So we'll talk later? - Yeah. 303 00:11:56,365 --> 00:11:58,116 - Just a formality, right? - Yeah. 304 00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,901 Okay. Uh... 305 00:11:59,935 --> 00:12:01,436 - Well done, cheryl. - Thanks, jerry. 306 00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:04,038 - I'll see you. - Jerry: fantastic. 307 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,707 - Thanks, cheryl. - Thank you, mark. 308 00:12:05,758 --> 00:12:07,825 - Good to see you. Bye. - Okay, thanks. 309 00:12:07,843 --> 00:12:09,928 - She's pretty good. - Pretty good? 310 00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:12,247 - Yeah, she's pretty good. - That was insane, okay? 311 00:12:12,281 --> 00:12:14,416 I mean, that was... That was perfect. 312 00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:16,184 - Perfect. - Yeah, she was good. 313 00:12:16,218 --> 00:12:18,720 - Really natural. Nice solid reading. - Everything we want. 314 00:12:18,754 --> 00:12:21,806 I knew she was good, never knew she was that good. 315 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,526 I mean, she was great. That was a great audition. 316 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:27,061 - Larry: great. - Should we move on? 317 00:12:27,096 --> 00:12:29,314 I think we can close up shop, to tell you the truth. 318 00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:30,899 Well, I think we should see everybody. 319 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:34,819 I know, but, you know, no one's gonna beat that. 320 00:12:34,853 --> 00:12:37,238 Honey, in case something happens to me... 321 00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:38,689 I mean, it's really bad. 322 00:12:38,707 --> 00:12:41,025 - Is it in the kitchen drawer by any chance? - What? 323 00:12:41,043 --> 00:12:42,693 I'm sorry, can't hear you. What is that? 324 00:12:42,711 --> 00:12:44,913 George, I just wanna tell you just in case... 325 00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:46,714 Mark: no, not you, honey, the tivo guy. 326 00:12:46,749 --> 00:12:48,883 For some reason I don't make it home... 327 00:12:48,918 --> 00:12:50,668 The tivo guy wants to know the name of the guy 328 00:12:50,702 --> 00:12:52,170 who installed this thing. 329 00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:53,755 Ugh, I don't know. I don't know his name. 330 00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:56,257 Mark: was it tom or something? 331 00:12:56,308 --> 00:12:59,144 - I just... I need you... - Or don, something like that? 332 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:00,562 Maybe bill or james? 333 00:13:00,596 --> 00:13:02,180 Oh, no no. Jeez, honey, I'm sorry. 334 00:13:02,214 --> 00:13:03,731 You know what? The tivo guy's gonna go. 335 00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:06,734 - I'm never gonna get him again. - It is just a tivo guy. 336 00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:09,154 Mark: honey, call me back in 10 minutes, okay? 337 00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,506 - Virginia: what? - I'm sorry, sweetheart. I love you. 338 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:13,608 George! 339 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,579 - That was great. - Really good. 340 00:13:17,613 --> 00:13:18,947 - Really great. - No, it wasn't. 341 00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:20,565 Jerry: really great, virginia. Thank you. 342 00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:22,700 - Ugh, I hope it was okay. - Mark: it was great. 343 00:13:22,734 --> 00:13:24,169 I'm terrible at auditioning. 344 00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:26,454 - No no. - It was really good. 345 00:13:26,505 --> 00:13:28,506 Jerry: thank you. A pleasure. 346 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,009 - It was really nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you. 347 00:13:31,043 --> 00:13:33,495 - Bye. - Bye. 348 00:13:33,529 --> 00:13:35,013 See you later. Great job. 349 00:13:35,047 --> 00:13:37,131 - Thanks. See you. - Bye. 350 00:13:38,334 --> 00:13:39,851 - Wow. - Nice. 351 00:13:39,885 --> 00:13:41,803 You can see why she's gotten so much work. 352 00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:45,423 - Yeah, she's terrific. - That was like, "hello, pro." 353 00:13:45,441 --> 00:13:47,058 You know, she... She was good. 354 00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:49,260 She was good, but honestly... 355 00:13:49,278 --> 00:13:52,063 I know probably you think 356 00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:53,731 it's hard for me to be objective here, 357 00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,366 but I thought cheryl was better. 358 00:13:55,401 --> 00:13:56,934 I mean, this is cheryl, this part. 359 00:13:56,952 --> 00:13:59,854 She was on that plane. She lived this part. That was her. 360 00:13:59,889 --> 00:14:01,939 Who cares who was on the plane? 361 00:14:01,957 --> 00:14:04,792 It's not a real plane. It's not a real show. It's not a real story. 362 00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:06,544 You know, when we shoot this, 363 00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,196 they're gonna cut the plane in half. 364 00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:09,947 It's not even gonna be a whole plane. 365 00:14:09,965 --> 00:14:13,117 I believed cheryl more than I believed virginia. 366 00:14:13,135 --> 00:14:15,786 Well, a girl like that, if you can get her, 367 00:14:15,804 --> 00:14:17,288 it's like "let's get on board 368 00:14:17,306 --> 00:14:19,307 the virginia sloan, toot toot. 369 00:14:19,341 --> 00:14:20,808 Next stop, comedy town. 370 00:14:20,843 --> 00:14:23,294 - Well... - Jerry: so it's... It's... 371 00:14:23,312 --> 00:14:25,963 I don't know what to tell you. We're at loggerheads here. 372 00:14:25,981 --> 00:14:28,633 Jerry: well, I guess we're in a tie-break situation then. 373 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:30,235 Mark? 374 00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,654 Look, I think cheryl really set the bar at the time, 375 00:14:32,688 --> 00:14:36,641 but you cannot deny that that audition was outstanding. 376 00:14:36,659 --> 00:14:38,443 I'd go with virginia. 377 00:14:38,477 --> 00:14:40,528 - She's an incredible actress. - Incredible. 378 00:14:40,579 --> 00:14:42,947 I can't believe she's even reading for something like this. 379 00:14:42,981 --> 00:14:44,649 Yeah. 380 00:14:44,667 --> 00:14:46,167 You know, it was amazing. 381 00:14:46,201 --> 00:14:48,503 Jerry: look, believe me, you probably 382 00:14:48,537 --> 00:14:50,872 are gonna be better off 383 00:14:50,923 --> 00:14:54,509 because working with someone who you were involved with, 384 00:14:54,543 --> 00:14:56,511 you know, there could be some tension there. 385 00:14:56,545 --> 00:14:58,663 You'll be glad that... 386 00:14:58,681 --> 00:15:01,599 That there's no chance of anything happening with you and cheryl. 387 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,851 You'll see. Don't worry, cheryl will be fine. 388 00:15:03,886 --> 00:15:06,804 You're gonna be very happy. 389 00:15:06,838 --> 00:15:08,940 All right, we'll go with virginia. 390 00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,159 Good, all right, we'll go with... 391 00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:21,786 Clerk: have a nice day. 392 00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:23,288 - Hi. - Hey. 393 00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:24,822 - Welcome back. - You remember me? 394 00:15:24,856 --> 00:15:26,190 I remember you from the fire. 395 00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:30,144 - My pants were left in the dressing room. - They were? 396 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,180 'cause I couldn't hang around till the store opened. 397 00:15:32,214 --> 00:15:33,998 And I need to pay for the ones I'm wearing. 398 00:15:34,032 --> 00:15:36,084 Um... 399 00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:39,304 I don't see... They're not... They're not here. 400 00:15:39,338 --> 00:15:41,322 They're not here, so... 401 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:43,341 What are you... How could they not be there? 402 00:15:43,375 --> 00:15:46,477 Every night they completely clean out the dressing room, 403 00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,479 and anything that's in there they put it in here 404 00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:51,232 in the lost and found and it's not... It's not here. 405 00:15:51,266 --> 00:15:54,569 - So you've lost my pants? - I'm... I'm sorry, they're gone. 406 00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:58,706 So how would you like to pay for those? 407 00:16:00,659 --> 00:16:03,945 Well, how could I pay for the pants 408 00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:06,948 if you lost my pants? That doesn't seem fair. 409 00:16:06,982 --> 00:16:08,566 First of all, we didn't lose them. They're gone. 410 00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:10,635 - There's a difference between lost and gone? - Yes. 411 00:16:10,669 --> 00:16:13,070 - Lost is different than gone. - They're lost and gone. 412 00:16:13,088 --> 00:16:15,590 If they're lost, they'd be here in the lost and found. 413 00:16:15,624 --> 00:16:17,258 They're gone and that's the difference. 414 00:16:17,292 --> 00:16:19,243 No, if they were lost, they wouldn't be there. 415 00:16:19,261 --> 00:16:20,962 They'd be lost, which they are. 416 00:16:20,996 --> 00:16:24,081 Okay, we have a sign in the fitting room that says that 417 00:16:24,099 --> 00:16:26,017 we're not responsible for any lost items. 418 00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:28,936 Good for you. I got a sign at my house, okay? 419 00:16:28,971 --> 00:16:31,639 It says "if somebody takes your pants, you take theirs." 420 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,225 - That's my sign. - that's a stupid made-up sign. 421 00:16:34,259 --> 00:16:36,594 That doesn't exist. Nobody has a sign like that. 422 00:16:36,612 --> 00:16:38,062 Of course I don't have a sign like that. 423 00:16:38,096 --> 00:16:40,198 I just made it up for the purposes of this discussion. 424 00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:43,117 - It's obvious I made it up. - I don't know what you believe. 425 00:16:43,152 --> 00:16:44,986 You might believe these things you say. 426 00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:46,954 So you might believe that I put up a sign in my bedroom that says 427 00:16:46,989 --> 00:16:48,456 "if you take my pants, I take yours"? 428 00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:50,575 It's not that unfathomable. 429 00:16:50,609 --> 00:16:52,243 Okay, you have to replace my pants. 430 00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:53,961 I'm not gonna pay for these pants. 431 00:16:53,996 --> 00:16:56,581 No, 'cause you're gonna walk around with a security tag on that 432 00:16:56,615 --> 00:16:58,416 and someone's gonna arrest you or something. 433 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:00,084 It's like a scarlet letter. 434 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:01,586 I'm happy to wear the scarlet letter. 435 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,921 - Call me hester. - I won't call you hester. 436 00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,956 - Call me hester. - I won't call you hester. 437 00:17:05,974 --> 00:17:08,476 You're not... Sir, you cannot leave with those pants. 438 00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:09,927 Really? 439 00:17:09,961 --> 00:17:12,714 It's gonna follow you around, that sound. 440 00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:17,318 - Larry. - Hi. 441 00:17:17,352 --> 00:17:20,521 - Did you just set off the alarm in there? - yeah, I-I did. 442 00:17:20,556 --> 00:17:23,558 What are you doing? I thought you were gonna get your other pants. 443 00:17:23,592 --> 00:17:25,426 They... They don't have my other pants. 444 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,980 They lost them, so I took these. 445 00:17:29,014 --> 00:17:31,616 What did everybody say about the audition? 446 00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:35,319 - Um... - Oh, no. 447 00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:37,922 - I wasn't good. - No, you were great. 448 00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:40,358 - You weren't good, you were great. - Oh, god. 449 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,326 But I don't know. 450 00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:44,896 Jerry wants to give it to virginia. 451 00:17:46,165 --> 00:17:49,016 I'm so sorry. 452 00:17:49,051 --> 00:17:52,253 - I thought this was a formality. - I thought so too. 453 00:17:52,287 --> 00:17:53,788 I thought it was a done deal. 454 00:17:53,822 --> 00:17:55,289 - I thought so too. - Oh, gosh. 455 00:17:55,324 --> 00:17:59,143 - And I'm sorry. I apologize. - Virginia got it? 456 00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:01,079 I mean, she'll be... She'll be great. 457 00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:03,381 - I'm sure she's thrilled. - She'll be okay. She's not you. 458 00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:05,450 I know, but I'm glad that she got it if I didn't get it. 459 00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,151 - That's good. - Ugh. 460 00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,653 We actually all got together, 461 00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:12,590 dennis and virginia and me, and had lunch. 462 00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:14,225 Got a little crazy, actually. 463 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:18,029 Dennis, after a few glasses of wine... 464 00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:20,998 Oh, you know, virginia went to the bathroom 465 00:18:21,033 --> 00:18:24,869 and he asked me if I was interested in a menage a trois. 466 00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:28,389 I mean, I was... 467 00:18:28,423 --> 00:18:29,924 I mean, I was a little flattered. 468 00:18:29,958 --> 00:18:32,794 - I just thought you'd find it funny. - Funny? 469 00:18:32,828 --> 00:18:35,129 - That's funny. - That's funny? 470 00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:37,431 I don't find that funny at all. Who does he think he is? 471 00:18:37,466 --> 00:18:39,901 - First of all, you're my ex-wife, okay? - okay. 472 00:18:39,935 --> 00:18:41,602 If you're gonna have a menage a trois with anybody, 473 00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:43,271 it's gonna be with me, not with him. 474 00:18:43,305 --> 00:18:46,307 Why would I want to be in a menage a trois with you? 475 00:18:46,341 --> 00:18:48,993 Well, you wouldn't. But if you're going to do it, 476 00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:51,062 i'd prefer that it would be with me, that's all. 477 00:18:51,096 --> 00:18:53,498 Okay. 478 00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:57,618 - He was serious? - Yeah, he was serious. 479 00:18:57,653 --> 00:19:00,705 Yeah yeah. 480 00:19:13,468 --> 00:19:15,603 Yes, it's more money. 481 00:19:15,637 --> 00:19:17,572 It's a lot more money, but I can do it for you. 482 00:19:17,606 --> 00:19:19,106 Hang on. Yeah. 483 00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:21,108 Look, I'll meet you in 20 minutes, all right? 484 00:19:21,143 --> 00:19:23,761 Right there at the site. Hi, larry, what's up? 485 00:19:23,779 --> 00:19:25,763 You asked my wife to be in a threesome? 486 00:19:25,781 --> 00:19:28,149 - Wife? - Yes. 487 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,951 - You mean ex-wife. - Whatever. 488 00:19:29,985 --> 00:19:32,036 - There's a difference. - No, there is no difference. 489 00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:34,822 You don't need to concern yourself with the difference, okay? 490 00:19:34,857 --> 00:19:36,924 All right, fine. 491 00:19:39,127 --> 00:19:42,880 Yes, I asked your ex-wife 492 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,950 if she would like to be in a threesome with my current wife. 493 00:19:45,968 --> 00:19:47,952 - What is wrong with you? - What's it to you, larry? 494 00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:49,453 - What's it to me? - Yeah. 495 00:19:49,471 --> 00:19:51,222 Because I-I have feelings for her 496 00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:52,890 and I don't need you to defile her, okay? 497 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:54,542 I would not be defiling her. 498 00:19:54,576 --> 00:19:56,177 Whatever two people do, or three people do, 499 00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:57,728 in the privacy of their own homes is their own business. 500 00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,313 Yeah, I've heard that bullshit. 501 00:19:59,348 --> 00:20:01,098 She's not interested in doing anything 502 00:20:01,132 --> 00:20:03,300 in the privacy of your home, okay? 503 00:20:03,318 --> 00:20:05,503 - Oh, really? - Yeah, really. 504 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:06,988 That remains to be seen. 505 00:20:07,022 --> 00:20:08,973 What does that mean? 506 00:20:08,991 --> 00:20:12,743 Larry, just because cheryl is curious 507 00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,996 doesn't mean you have any right to get mad at me, okay? 508 00:20:15,030 --> 00:20:16,914 - Chill out. - Curious? 509 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:18,649 - Did you say curious? - Curious. 510 00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:20,835 Larry: what are you talking about? 511 00:20:29,661 --> 00:20:31,729 - Hey. - Hey. 512 00:20:35,717 --> 00:20:37,702 - What are you doing? - Nothing. 513 00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:39,921 What do you mean nothing? What's all this fidget? 514 00:20:39,955 --> 00:20:41,422 What are you talking about? 515 00:20:41,456 --> 00:20:43,557 I'm talking about your underwear. 516 00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:45,059 Uncomfortable or something? 517 00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:47,929 I have a little problem with my underwear. 518 00:20:47,963 --> 00:20:49,614 All of a sudden out of nowhere? 519 00:20:49,648 --> 00:20:52,349 - What, do you have a new brand or something? - Yeah, I do. 520 00:20:52,367 --> 00:20:54,201 Really? Where'd you buy them? 521 00:20:54,236 --> 00:20:56,186 - Online. - Online? 522 00:20:56,204 --> 00:20:58,072 That's a load of shit. You don't know how to use a computer. 523 00:20:58,123 --> 00:21:00,625 The last man on earth, but you don't know how to use a computer. 524 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:02,944 - How do you buy it online? - My assistant buys it for me. 525 00:21:02,978 --> 00:21:04,779 Oh, really? From what website? 526 00:21:04,813 --> 00:21:07,748 - What site does she buy it from? - Hi hi hi. 527 00:21:07,799 --> 00:21:10,217 - Larry and I gotta talk about some stuff. - Yeah, I bet you do. 528 00:21:10,252 --> 00:21:13,337 You always have to talk about some stuff. 529 00:21:15,257 --> 00:21:18,392 Clearly she is not believing a word of this. 530 00:21:18,427 --> 00:21:21,562 - I thought she was buying it at first. - She's not buying it. 531 00:21:21,596 --> 00:21:23,564 I watched the whole thing. What are you doing? 532 00:21:23,598 --> 00:21:26,233 - It's crazy. - I'm doing the best I can, you know. 533 00:21:26,268 --> 00:21:28,769 I'm... I'm trying to play like slight transvestite. 534 00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:30,488 - Slight transvestite? - Yes. 535 00:21:30,522 --> 00:21:33,557 It's a comfort thing. Don't add a transvestite level to this. 536 00:21:33,575 --> 00:21:36,393 A guy who wears women's underwear is... Is part tranny. 537 00:21:36,411 --> 00:21:38,062 - He's not part tranny. - He's part tranny. 538 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:40,364 No, you're crazy. He wants comfort. 539 00:21:40,398 --> 00:21:42,033 You're comfortable, that's it. 540 00:21:42,067 --> 00:21:43,584 You're larry david and you like comfort 541 00:21:43,618 --> 00:21:45,503 in women's panties, all right? 542 00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:48,039 - Simple. - No, it's not so simple. It's not so simple. 543 00:21:48,073 --> 00:21:49,874 - Shh shh! - I don't know how to play that. 544 00:21:49,908 --> 00:21:52,376 - I like the comfort of woman's panties. - That's it, that's all. 545 00:21:52,410 --> 00:21:54,095 - How do you play... - Ask me a question. 546 00:21:54,129 --> 00:21:57,381 - Where do you get your underwear? - Many different places. 547 00:21:57,415 --> 00:22:00,468 Stop overacting, just keep it on the down, okay? 548 00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:02,720 Come on. All right? 549 00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:04,638 You're larry david. Who are you? 550 00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:06,941 - I'm larry david. - And what do you happen to enjoy? 551 00:22:06,975 --> 00:22:09,777 - I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties. - Perfect, that's it. 552 00:22:09,811 --> 00:22:12,063 - I'm very comfortable with that. - Very comfortable. 553 00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:13,764 Listen, I got big fucking news. 554 00:22:13,782 --> 00:22:15,366 Huge. You ready for this? 555 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,953 I got a call from virginia. She can't do the part. 556 00:22:18,987 --> 00:22:21,772 She's in a neck brace. 557 00:22:21,790 --> 00:22:23,491 - You're kidding. - No. 558 00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:26,127 - Oh my god. - Yes, and you know what that means. 559 00:22:26,161 --> 00:22:28,412 - Cheryl's gonna do the part. - Cheryl's gonna do the part. 560 00:22:28,446 --> 00:22:31,332 - This is fantastic. - Yes, it's unbelievable. 561 00:22:31,383 --> 00:22:33,584 What... What happened? 562 00:22:33,618 --> 00:22:35,586 She wouldn't tell me. I said, "what happened?" 563 00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:37,421 and she said, "it's not important." 564 00:22:37,456 --> 00:22:40,891 - Hmm. - Yeah. 565 00:22:40,926 --> 00:22:43,878 - Interesting. - What? 566 00:22:43,912 --> 00:22:47,098 - As far as I know... - Yeah? 567 00:22:47,132 --> 00:22:50,634 - ... There's only two ways you can injure your neck. - mm-hmm. 568 00:22:50,652 --> 00:22:53,637 - One is a car accident. - Yeah. 569 00:22:53,655 --> 00:22:55,973 - The other's cunnilingus. - Mm-hmm. 570 00:22:55,991 --> 00:22:57,658 If it wasn't a car accident, 571 00:22:57,692 --> 00:23:00,911 she injured her neck going down on cheryl. 572 00:23:00,946 --> 00:23:03,064 - Cheryl? Oh my god. - Yes! 573 00:23:03,098 --> 00:23:04,915 - They had a menage a trois. - You don't know that. 574 00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:08,169 It could've been a car accident. You don't know. 575 00:23:08,203 --> 00:23:09,820 Let's check her car. 576 00:23:09,838 --> 00:23:11,705 All right, let's check her car. 577 00:23:11,757 --> 00:23:13,958 - All right, who are you? - I'm larry david. 578 00:23:13,992 --> 00:23:15,709 And what do you happen to enjoy? 579 00:23:15,761 --> 00:23:18,162 - I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties. - Let's go. 580 00:23:25,437 --> 00:23:27,021 Hey. 581 00:23:27,055 --> 00:23:28,672 What are you, an idiot? 582 00:23:28,690 --> 00:23:31,275 - I didn't... Sorry. - Ouch. 583 00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:39,066 - It's clean. - Clean. 584 00:23:39,117 --> 00:23:40,618 See anything? 585 00:23:40,652 --> 00:23:42,736 I don't see any damage at all. 586 00:23:47,742 --> 00:23:49,994 Nothing. 587 00:23:50,028 --> 00:23:53,530 - Cheryl. - Cunnilingus. 588 00:23:53,548 --> 00:23:55,916 Look out. 589 00:24:07,395 --> 00:24:10,498 So... 590 00:24:10,532 --> 00:24:12,733 I have some news. 591 00:24:12,767 --> 00:24:17,154 Virginia can't do the part. 592 00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:18,806 You're playing george's ex-wife. 593 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,909 I'm gonna play george's ex-wife? 594 00:24:21,943 --> 00:24:23,577 Are you kidding me? 595 00:24:23,612 --> 00:24:26,197 - Congratulations. - And everybody's on board with this? 596 00:24:26,231 --> 00:24:28,899 - Jerry... Jerry said yes... - Yeah. 597 00:24:28,917 --> 00:24:30,868 - ... And you talked it over and... - Yeah. 598 00:24:30,902 --> 00:24:33,504 I can't believe you didn't call me as soon as you heard the news. 599 00:24:33,538 --> 00:24:36,457 - I wanted to, you know, save it. - This is so fantastic. 600 00:24:36,508 --> 00:24:40,077 - Huh? - So I can tell my mom and everybody? 601 00:24:40,095 --> 00:24:41,846 Tell all your family. Tell them all, yeah. 602 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,414 - And mention me when you tell them. - I will mention you. 603 00:24:44,432 --> 00:24:46,083 That's unbelievable. Thank you. 604 00:24:46,101 --> 00:24:48,602 - I kinda put the whole thing together. - Thank you, larry. 605 00:24:48,637 --> 00:24:51,588 Wow, so what happened with virginia? 606 00:24:51,606 --> 00:24:54,108 Why can't she do it? 607 00:24:54,142 --> 00:24:57,311 What an interesting question. 608 00:24:58,647 --> 00:25:00,114 Why can't she do it? 609 00:25:00,148 --> 00:25:02,266 Well... 610 00:25:02,284 --> 00:25:06,203 It seems as if virginia hurt her neck. 611 00:25:06,238 --> 00:25:07,621 - Mmm. - Ooh. 612 00:25:07,656 --> 00:25:10,591 - How did she hurt her neck? 613 00:25:12,043 --> 00:25:13,911 Very good, very good. 614 00:25:13,945 --> 00:25:16,580 - What? - You're good. You're good. 615 00:25:16,615 --> 00:25:18,249 I don't know what you're talking about. 616 00:25:18,283 --> 00:25:20,251 You're gonna do very well in this part. 617 00:25:20,285 --> 00:25:23,254 - How did she hurt her neck? - How did she hurt her neck? 618 00:25:23,288 --> 00:25:25,890 - We all know... - Mm-hmm. 619 00:25:25,924 --> 00:25:29,310 ...there's only two ways a person can injure their neck. 620 00:25:29,344 --> 00:25:31,095 One is a car accident. 621 00:25:31,129 --> 00:25:32,846 And she was not in a car accident 622 00:25:32,898 --> 00:25:34,464 because I checked the car. 623 00:25:34,482 --> 00:25:38,202 - Okay. - The other is cunnilingus. 624 00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:41,488 And I submit 625 00:25:41,523 --> 00:25:44,491 she performed it on you in a threesome. 626 00:25:46,144 --> 00:25:49,263 - Come on. - What are you talking about? 627 00:25:49,297 --> 00:25:50,781 Listen, we're adults. 628 00:25:50,815 --> 00:25:52,366 - Let's just get past this. - Oh my god. 629 00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:54,835 Because I told you about dennis and the three-way. 630 00:25:54,869 --> 00:25:56,904 - Please, stop. - There are two ways to injure... 631 00:25:56,938 --> 00:25:59,006 There are other ways to hurt your neck, larry, 632 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:00,507 besides having to go down on someone. 633 00:26:00,542 --> 00:26:02,159 - That's ridiculous. - Name one. 634 00:26:02,177 --> 00:26:04,011 - You could... Painting. - Painting? 635 00:26:04,045 --> 00:26:07,348 - Ugh. - You know, I never saw michelangelo in a brace. 636 00:26:11,353 --> 00:26:14,121 - Hello? - She doesn't believe me. She doesn't believe me. 637 00:26:14,155 --> 00:26:15,923 She's gonna leave me. She's gonna leave me, man. 638 00:26:15,957 --> 00:26:18,008 - I'm fucked! - All right, calm down. 639 00:26:18,026 --> 00:26:19,810 She still thinks the panties are mine. 640 00:26:19,844 --> 00:26:22,563 Susie: jeffrey, where are you? 641 00:26:22,614 --> 00:26:24,531 I'll be right there. 642 00:26:24,566 --> 00:26:26,116 Think of something, all right? 643 00:26:26,151 --> 00:26:27,985 Come on, man, I need your help! 644 00:26:28,019 --> 00:26:30,537 Okay, you know what? I have an idea. 645 00:26:30,572 --> 00:26:31,989 - Really? - I do. 646 00:26:32,023 --> 00:26:33,807 - Come over right now. - It could work. 647 00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:36,393 Man, fuckin' panties. 648 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:38,412 - I'm a fuckin' idiot. - Okay, I'm coming over. 649 00:26:38,463 --> 00:26:42,883 ♪ gee, officer krupke, we're very upset ♪ 650 00:26:42,917 --> 00:26:45,586 ♪ we never had the love that every child oughta get ♪ 651 00:26:45,637 --> 00:26:49,823 ♪ oh, officer krupke, what are we to do? ♪ 652 00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:53,944 ♪ gee, officer krupke, krup you. ♪ 653 00:26:53,979 --> 00:26:56,046 - that's that's the same guy. - It is? 654 00:26:56,064 --> 00:26:58,232 - Boy: he used a bad word, mom. - Oh my god. 655 00:26:58,266 --> 00:27:00,768 What a jerk. 656 00:27:02,871 --> 00:27:05,555 It's a good plan, but it's just gotta be natural. 657 00:27:05,573 --> 00:27:07,524 You can't just... You know, it's gotta be natural. 658 00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:09,576 - I understand that. - Okay. 659 00:27:09,611 --> 00:27:11,595 - Jeff? - Yeah? 660 00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:13,631 Virginia got in a really bad car accident. 661 00:27:13,665 --> 00:27:16,033 - What? - Her neck is all fucked up. She's in a brace. 662 00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:18,035 She didn't get in car accident, okay? 663 00:27:18,069 --> 00:27:19,903 I saw her car. There's not a scratch on it. 664 00:27:19,921 --> 00:27:21,755 No, she did, larry, okay? 665 00:27:21,790 --> 00:27:24,675 She was driving dennis's car, asshole know-it-all. 666 00:27:24,709 --> 00:27:26,260 Jeff: his car's... 667 00:27:26,294 --> 00:27:28,912 Susie: his car is all fucked up. Who's that? 668 00:27:28,930 --> 00:27:31,715 Officer krupke: yes, ma'am, I'm looking for larry david. 669 00:27:31,749 --> 00:27:33,967 Susie: come right in. 670 00:27:34,019 --> 00:27:36,603 - Hello. - Oh, hey, officer krupke. 671 00:27:36,638 --> 00:27:38,722 - Yeah. - Hey, jeff, it's officer krupke. 672 00:27:38,756 --> 00:27:41,275 - Oh, yeah, like from "west side story." - From "west side story." 673 00:27:41,309 --> 00:27:43,760 We received a call about you using obscenities 674 00:27:43,778 --> 00:27:45,429 against a woman and her children. 675 00:27:45,447 --> 00:27:47,231 What? That's ridiculous. 676 00:27:47,265 --> 00:27:50,034 I sang the song I sang to you. "officer krupke, krup you." 677 00:27:50,068 --> 00:27:52,119 I didn't say fuck you. I said krup you. 678 00:27:52,153 --> 00:27:55,772 - That's not the way they heard it. - I was singing a song. 679 00:27:55,790 --> 00:27:58,158 Krup you! 680 00:27:58,209 --> 00:28:00,294 Where'd you get those pants? 681 00:28:00,328 --> 00:28:01,945 Banana republic. 682 00:28:01,963 --> 00:28:03,914 There's a security tag on those pants. 683 00:28:03,948 --> 00:28:07,117 I traded them because they took my pants, so I took these. 684 00:28:07,135 --> 00:28:09,336 - Give me the pants. - What are you talking about? 685 00:28:09,387 --> 00:28:11,238 - These are my pants. - Now. 686 00:28:13,624 --> 00:28:16,126 - Okay, fine. - You don't have to do this here. 687 00:28:16,144 --> 00:28:18,395 I don't care. Okay, here. 688 00:28:18,430 --> 00:28:21,482 Susie: oh my god! Jesus christ! 689 00:28:21,516 --> 00:28:23,600 Who are you? 690 00:28:23,634 --> 00:28:28,055 I'm larry david. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties. 691 00:28:41,819 --> 00:28:44,388 You gotta tell susie I was in a car accident. 692 00:28:46,091 --> 00:28:46,690 ♪ Gee, officer krupke, we're very upset ♪ 693 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net