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ADULT SHELDON: While my sister
and I are twins, we've always
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been different. By the age of two,
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I was reading books.
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Missy was content to eat them.
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By five, I had a healthy appreciation
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for a well-organized work space.
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My sister, less so.
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- [MISSY GIGGLES]
- Which is not to say
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she doesn't have qualities I admire.
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Get it! Get it!
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It's just a spider. Calm down.
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It's got eight legs and fangs.
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I see no reason to be calm.
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Did you kill it?
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- Yup.
- Are you sure?
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- You tell me.
- [YELLING]
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The bond between twins is
an incredibly close one,
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which is why I moved
1,500 miles to California
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the first chance I got.
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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Hey.
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- Hello.
- You got a minute?
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John has something he
wants to talk to you about.
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I brought you kolaches.
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Ooh, yummy.
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Mmm. Mmm. [CHUCKLES]
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So, what's up?
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You comin' to me to ask for
Connie's hand in marriage?
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No.
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But if that were to come to pass,
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are you authorized to bless the union?
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He was joking.
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Oh.
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- Tell him.
- Okay.
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So, some colleagues of mine
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at the university are doing
a research study on twins.
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I told them about
Sheldon and his sister,
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and they were most intrigued.
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Uh, what kind of study?
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It's a longitudinal investigation
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of environmental and genetic factors
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in the development of
cognitive and other capacities
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in pairs of fraternal
and identical twins.
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You asked.
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[CHUCKLES]: Well, geez,
I don't... I don't know
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if I want some scientists
pokin' and proddin' the kids.
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Oh, but they wouldn't
be poked and prodded.
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They just have to, you
know, answer some questions.
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And maybe some puzzles and tests.
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That's not too bad. Where is it?
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Houston. Oh, it just got bad.
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That's... that's a long drive.
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It does pay $50 an hour
plus gas and expenses.
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Really?
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I told you to start with that.
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Oh.
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No. See, Mary, that's the best part...
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There's no pokin' and proddin'. Plus,
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you know how much Sheldon
loves puzzles and tests.
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I'm not sure.
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[SIGHS] Think about the money.
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50 bucks an hour, four
or five hours a week.
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That-That's more than our mortgage.
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I know, I know.
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But Sheldon's already self-conscious
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about being different from other kids.
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I worry how this might affect him.
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You're being too
protective. He's a rock.
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A rock?
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Are we raising the same child?
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And what about Missy?
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Aren't these tests
gonna make her feel bad
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that she's not as smart as Sheldon?
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[SNORTS] I'm not as smart as Sheldon.
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Doesn't make me feel bad.
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And we could put the money aside
for their college education.
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That's a good point.
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It's a great point.
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I don't have to tell
you, times are changing.
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Kids are pitching in.
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Like that Webster kid on TV...
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He's making buckets of
money for his parents.
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Well...
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I suppose we could give it a try.
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There you go. I'll call Sturgis,
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tell him we're in.
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Baby, I'm getting a fishing boat.
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So, Sheldon, Missy, we
got some exciting news.
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- Georgie took a bath?
- No.
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And how come I don't get exciting news?
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This isn't about you.
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But after dinner, why
don't you go rinse off?
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So, what's up?
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Well, a couple of
scientists at the college
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where Dr. Sturgis teaches are doing
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a research study on twins.
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They want to meet you guys,
ask you some questions.
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Oh, boy, a research study.
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Will they give us written tests?
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- Yeah, I think so.
- Oh, boy.
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Now, you don't have to do
this if you don't want to.
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It's purely volunteer.
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I don't want to do it.
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- Why not?
- They probably just want to find out
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why you're so smart
and I'm just average.
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[QUIETLY]: Average?
That's a little generous.
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Why don't they want to test me?
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- Georgie, not now.
- 'Cause I'm available.
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Listen, why don't we just
go there this Saturday
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and give it a try?
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And if you don't like it,
we don't have to do it again.
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Or they'll love it,
and they'll do it till
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they're 18, 19 years old.
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I already love it.
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My man. Missy?
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I believe there might be
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a Dairy Queen on the way there.
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Can I get an Oreo Blizzard?
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You know what I think?
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I think you're smarter than him.
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Dr. Thorpe and Dr. Pilson,
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here are your research volunteers,
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Sheldon and Missy.
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So nice to meet you.
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Thank you for
participating in our study.
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Always happy to help advance
our understanding of me.
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I'm just in it for the Dairy Queen.
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All right.
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Um, if you two wouldn't
mind waiting here,
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we'd like to start by talking
to your mom, dad, and grandma.
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Why?
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Jut to get some background information
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on the both of you.
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Smart. Ask how old I was when
I completed potty training.
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You won't believe it.
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I'll do that.
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Will you keep an eye on 'em?
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Well, I'll try, but
if they start running,
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you may never see them again.
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[LAUGHS]
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Shall we?
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We are on the clock, right?
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- George.
- Hmm?
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[CHUCKLES] Boy, this brings
back some memories.
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- How come?
- Well, when I was your age,
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I was also taken to a university
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to be studied.
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Because they thought
you were really smart?
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Because they thought I
was clinically insane.
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And it wasn't just me.
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Did you know that when Albert Einstein
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was a little boy, his parents worried
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there was something wrong with him?
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Because he couldn't comb his hair?
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No, that was a choice
he made later in life.
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When he was young,
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he wanted nothing to
do with other children,
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and would often have
extreme temper tantrums.
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He sounds like you.
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I know. Isn't it great?
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Well, to be perfectly honest,
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Sheldon has always avoided
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children his own age.
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Tell 'em about temper tantrums.
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They're not temper tantrums,
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he just has strong opinions.
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[CHUCKLES] Yeah,
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like when you yell and stomp your feet,
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and slam the door off its hinge.
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They're scientists. You can't trick 'em.
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And, as for Missy,
she's just the opposite.
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Loves to be around
people and other kids.
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Makes friends easy.
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Does she have temper tantrums as well?
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Nope. She's very even-keeled.
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Except for when she's eating.
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You put your hand near her face
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when she's working on a lamb chop,
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she will bite off a finger.
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[LAUGHS] Our daughter doesn't bite.
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Right here, Thanksgiving, 1986.
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Was there anything unusual
about your pregnancy?
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- No, not that I remember.
- Really?
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You cried for, like, seven months.
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Those were tears of joy. [WEAK LAUGH]
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What about all those
times you punched me?
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Punches of joy.
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You're not gonna get much
out of Fred and Wilma here.
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Why don't you just get
crackin' on the kids?
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Okay, Sheldon, this first
battery of tests measures
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basic problem-solving abilities.
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Is the Kaufman test or the
Wechsler Intelligence Scale?
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Are you familiar with those?
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It's embarrassing, but I
enjoy a little light reading
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in the bathroom.
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Okay. Are you ready?
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- Will I be timed?
- Yes.
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- Fantastic.
- [STOPWATCH CLICKS]
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Okay, Missy,
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the first thing we're gonna do is test
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your problem-solving ability.
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- Okay.
- You ready?
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I just have one question.
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What's that?
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Do you always wear your hair up?
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Uh, well, usually at work, yes.
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I bet it looks cute down.
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Thank you. Okay,
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you're all set.
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Is that camera gonna be on?
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Yes.
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Can you move it over to that side?
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Why?
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If I've learned one thing
from school picture day,
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it's that I look better from that side.
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Sure, I'll move it.
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Okay...
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And bring it a little closer.
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How's that?
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- Great.
- Okay.
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- [SIGHS] Whenever you're ready.
- Wait.
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Do I have any Oreos in my teeth?
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No.
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- Ready to start?
- One last thing.
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Did you ever think of wearing
that white coat with a belt?
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- No.
- You should.
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'Cause you have a very nice figure,
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and it's lost in there.
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Hey, check this out.
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Did you see Honey, I Shrunk the Kids?
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- No.
- You should.
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'Cause there's a lot of
good science stuff in it.
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[LAUGHING]
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Kudos on the question
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"Which train gets to St. Louis first?"
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Hmm.
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I have to tell you something.
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Why don't you finish the test first.
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This can't wait.
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The other doctor's got a crush on you.
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Oh, dear Lord.
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Oh, um...
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I don't... I don't think so.
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Let's get back to the test.
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Okay.
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Why? What did you see?
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When you're not looking,
he stares at your tushy.
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[WHISPERING]: Really?
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Imagine if you wore the belt.
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Clever girl.
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That would accentuate her buttocks.
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I can't watch. Switch
it back to Sheldon.
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Hot dog, syllogisms.
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If all squares are parallelograms,
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and all squares are rectangles,
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then some parallelograms are rectangles.
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Who was this test made for, children?
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I'm bored. Turn it back to Missy.
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Go ahead.
264
00:10:10,090 --> 00:10:12,719
This question about a
train going to "S-T" Louis
265
00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:14,720
makes no sense.
266
00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:16,660
DR. THORPE: It's okay to guess.
267
00:10:18,130 --> 00:10:21,060
Take your time, baby.
The meter's running.
268
00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:23,599
[CASH REGISTER DINGS]
269
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,500
DR. THORPE: Well,
thank you all very much.
270
00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:28,060
This was a great start.
271
00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:30,090
Thank you. Did you have fun?
272
00:10:30,100 --> 00:10:33,189
I got to take a test on
a Saturday, heck yeah!
273
00:10:33,190 --> 00:10:37,850
He's like a young version of
me, but without corrective shoes.
274
00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:39,479
Missy, what'd you think?
275
00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:40,949
The tests were just okay,
276
00:10:40,950 --> 00:10:42,319
but I like Sandra.
277
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,059
Well, thank you, Missy. I like you, too.
278
00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:47,589
PILSON: All right,
279
00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:49,559
we'll see y'all next Saturday.
280
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:51,160
You bet we will.
281
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,470
Good God, George, have a little dignity.
282
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:59,439
Hm.
283
00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:03,370
Are you doing something
different with your hair?
284
00:11:03,380 --> 00:11:07,279
No, uh, why?
285
00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,549
No reason, just looks nice.
286
00:11:10,550 --> 00:11:13,089
Oh! [CHUCKLES] Thank you.
287
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:15,959
Um, uh, what do you
think about maybe stopping
288
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:19,530
for a drink after, to
discuss the test results?
289
00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:21,870
I would like that.
290
00:11:28,070 --> 00:11:30,710
♪ ♪
291
00:11:33,590 --> 00:11:35,120
Oh, yeah.
292
00:11:35,130 --> 00:11:36,650
Get down.
293
00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:37,859
[DOOR OPENS]
294
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:41,429
- MARY: We're home.
- Hey.
295
00:11:41,430 --> 00:11:44,059
- What you watching?
- Soul Train.
296
00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:45,799
I like trains.
297
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,869
It's not that kind of train, dummy.
298
00:11:47,870 --> 00:11:50,930
Well that seems like false advertising.
299
00:11:55,450 --> 00:11:58,039
Ooh, you sexy little thing.
300
00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,780
MARY: George!
301
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:03,010
Oh.
302
00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:07,549
I do not like what this
study is doing to Sheldon.
303
00:12:07,550 --> 00:12:09,689
What're you talking
about? He had a great time.
304
00:12:09,690 --> 00:12:11,310
All the way home all he could talk about
305
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,510
is how that doctor thought he
was so smart. It's not healthy.
306
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,180
Would it make you feel any better
307
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,819
if I told you how much
money we made today?
308
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:18,999
No, it would not.
309
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,429
$300.
310
00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:22,000
- Really?
- Cash.
311
00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:26,700
Okay, well, still, I...
312
00:12:26,710 --> 00:12:29,299
I'm not interested in
profiting off my children.
313
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:32,340
You see, honey, that's where
you and I are very different.
314
00:12:42,350 --> 00:12:43,850
Boats.
315
00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:46,690
Sheldon, what do you think
316
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,129
is happening in this picture?
317
00:12:48,130 --> 00:12:51,129
Easy. There are four
chimpanzees in a living room.
318
00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:53,399
PILSON: Okay, but what
can you tell me about them?
319
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,769
They're not behaving like chimpanzees.
320
00:12:56,770 --> 00:12:57,869
Anything else?
321
00:12:57,870 --> 00:13:00,600
Chimpanzees don't drink tea.
322
00:13:00,610 --> 00:13:02,170
Is that it?
323
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:04,939
Well, I suppose it might be coffee,
324
00:13:04,940 --> 00:13:06,609
but they don't drink that either.
325
00:13:06,610 --> 00:13:09,830
Anything interesting
about their body language?
326
00:13:11,650 --> 00:13:12,819
No.
327
00:13:12,820 --> 00:13:14,920
I think they found his kryptonite.
328
00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:19,459
THORPE: Missy,
329
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:21,590
what do you think is
happening in this picture?
330
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,759
The girl monkey on the couch
331
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,299
is telling the guy monkey a secret.
332
00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:28,069
Must be something juicy,
'cause he's smiling.
333
00:13:28,070 --> 00:13:29,399
Anything else?
334
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,639
It might be dirty,
335
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,139
'cause this girl monkey is sending
336
00:13:32,140 --> 00:13:33,669
the kid monkey out of the room.
337
00:13:33,670 --> 00:13:36,239
He doesn't want to go. He looks sad.
338
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,339
Is that all?
339
00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:39,390
The monkeys on the
couch are drinking tea,
340
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,809
so it's a tea party.
341
00:13:40,810 --> 00:13:44,359
Okay, very good. Let's
look at another picture.
342
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:47,480
I'm not done. The monkey in the painting
343
00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:48,789
is wearing an old lady hat,
344
00:13:48,790 --> 00:13:50,789
so she's probably a meemaw monkey.
345
00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:52,690
She's not at the party,
346
00:13:52,700 --> 00:13:55,690
so she must be bowling or dead.
347
00:13:56,830 --> 00:13:59,799
Well, Missy won that round.
348
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,409
It's actually not a contest, George.
349
00:14:02,410 --> 00:14:04,420
This is Texas. Everything's a contest.
350
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,800
A woman in a doorway.
351
00:14:06,810 --> 00:14:08,309
Anything else?
352
00:14:08,310 --> 00:14:10,470
She's holding her head with her hand.
353
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,379
And what do you think that means?
354
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:14,009
Um...
355
00:14:14,010 --> 00:14:16,879
Wouldn't you rather ask me
about trains going to St. Louis?
356
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:20,119
Good gravy, she's sad, Sheldon, come on.
357
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,449
Oh, she's very upset.
358
00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:24,519
I don't know why.
359
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,500
Oh! Maybe she wasn't invited
360
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,329
to the tea party at the monkey house.
361
00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:29,990
[CHUCKLES]
362
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,259
Also, she's wearing
a belt, like you are.
363
00:14:32,260 --> 00:14:34,060
Nice going. Very cute.
364
00:14:35,830 --> 00:14:37,130
[MOUTHS]
365
00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:38,639
And I'm loving the hair.
366
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,469
[WHISPERS]: Yeah.
367
00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:43,269
A lion sitting in a
chair, holding a pipe.
368
00:14:43,270 --> 00:14:44,560
Good.
369
00:14:44,570 --> 00:14:46,409
But what do you think is on his mind?
370
00:14:46,410 --> 00:14:48,450
How should I know? Maybe he's wondering
371
00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,179
why he's posing for a silly picture
372
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,780
instead of eating a gazelle.
373
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,549
PILSON: Anything else?
374
00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:56,589
What exactly are we doing here?
375
00:14:56,590 --> 00:14:58,089
I thought the purpose of this study
376
00:14:58,090 --> 00:15:00,059
was to find out how smart I am.
377
00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:01,609
PILSON: That's what we're doing,
378
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:04,019
but there are different
kinds of intelligence.
379
00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:05,660
Poppycock!
380
00:15:05,670 --> 00:15:07,239
There's only one kind of intelligence...
381
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,599
George, Sheldon's getting upset.
382
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:09,830
I don't like it.
383
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,600
All right, I'll just
change it back to Missy.
384
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,269
You are an insightful young lady.
385
00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:17,549
I don't know what that
means, but thank you.
386
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,440
It means perceptive.
387
00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:21,709
You see things most people miss.
388
00:15:21,710 --> 00:15:24,079
My name is Missy... go figure.
389
00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,280
Have you always been that way?
390
00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:29,119
I guess so. I think when
you're on your own a lot,
391
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,189
you get good at seeing
that kind of stuff.
392
00:15:31,190 --> 00:15:33,289
- THORPE: Really?
- MISSY: My dad
393
00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:35,159
does football with my older brother,
394
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,129
so they're like a team.
395
00:15:38,130 --> 00:15:41,599
And my mom and meemaw spend all
their time fussing over Sheldon,
396
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,430
so they're like a team, too.
397
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,859
So no one's on your team?
398
00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:47,100
Nope.
399
00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:48,639
It's just me.
400
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,170
Oh, Lord.
401
00:15:51,590 --> 00:15:54,140
Hey, what's up with
you and Dr. Pillsbury?
402
00:15:54,150 --> 00:15:56,649
Dr. Pilson?
403
00:15:56,650 --> 00:15:59,580
I don't know what you're talking about.
404
00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:00,949
Oh.
405
00:16:00,950 --> 00:16:02,989
You can't say 'cause we're on camera.
406
00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:05,459
[SIGHS]
407
00:16:05,460 --> 00:16:07,620
Insightful.
408
00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:15,469
A little late for me to start cooking.
409
00:16:15,470 --> 00:16:17,799
- Why don't we stop somewhere for dinner.
- Really?
410
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,339
The five of us? That's kind of pricey.
411
00:16:20,340 --> 00:16:23,570
Would you rather buy a fishing boat?
412
00:16:23,580 --> 00:16:25,139
You're a blabbermouth, you know that?
413
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:26,840
[MEEMAW LAUGHS]
414
00:16:26,850 --> 00:16:29,009
Missy, we're gonna eat in a restaurant.
415
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:30,310
Where would you like to go?
416
00:16:30,370 --> 00:16:31,730
I get to pick?
417
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:33,960
Why don't I get to pick?
418
00:16:33,970 --> 00:16:35,490
Because your sister's getting to pick.
419
00:16:35,500 --> 00:16:37,190
It's not just about you in this house.
420
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,789
What do you think, baby?
421
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,559
I pick...
422
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,559
Red Lobster.
423
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,399
You got it.
424
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,229
Damn.
425
00:16:47,230 --> 00:16:48,930
There goes our per diem.
426
00:16:57,070 --> 00:16:58,880
George, you got a minute?
427
00:16:58,890 --> 00:17:01,749
- What's up?
- Not you, him.
428
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:03,240
What?
429
00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:05,879
Sheldon told me that we get
paid to go to that college
430
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,410
and answer their questions.
431
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:09,149
Yeah, so?
432
00:17:09,150 --> 00:17:11,480
I want to know how much we're making.
433
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,419
Why?
434
00:17:13,420 --> 00:17:14,989
'Cause I want my fair share.
435
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:17,389
Is that so?
436
00:17:17,390 --> 00:17:19,729
What do you think your fair share is?
437
00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:20,929
Half.
438
00:17:20,930 --> 00:17:24,060
Hm, guess that sounds right.
439
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,669
So how much are we making?
440
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,579
$7.50 a week.
441
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,669
- Really?
- Really.
442
00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:32,839
Well, I want half that.
443
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,070
Which is?
444
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,310
Hang on.
445
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,279
Sheldon!
446
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,279
Can we put on Soul Train?
447
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:42,579
Why?
448
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:45,120
There's a girl on there
I kind of want to marry.
449
00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:55,240
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