1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,914 (George Michael's "Faith" playing) 2 00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:05,916 (tape rewinding) 3 00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:08,172 ♪ Faith, faith, faith ♪ 4 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:09,545 ♪ Baby ♪ 5 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:12,544 ♪ I know you're asking me to stay ♪ 6 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,971 ♪ Say please, please, please don't go away ♪ 7 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,174 ♪ You say I'm giving you the blues ♪ 8 00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,925 ♪ Maybe ♪ 9 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:20,051 ♪ Huh! ♪ 10 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:21,056 ♪ You mean ♪ 11 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,728 - ♪ Every word you say ♪ - (popping loudly) 12 00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:23,930 ♪ Can't help but think ♪ 13 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,139 ♪ Of yesterday ♪ 14 00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,100 ♪ And another who tied me down ♪ 15 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:28,480 ♪ To lover boy rules... ♪ 16 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:30,778 ADULT SHELDON: My father took pride in saying 17 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,072 that he ran our house like a tight ship. 18 00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:35,491 The ship got a lot looser when 19 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,365 - my meemaw came over to babysit. - (firecracker pops) 20 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,871 I bet a nickel. 21 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,908 Hang on there a minute, moon pie. 22 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,538 I want to teach you somethin'. 23 00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:46,835 Look at your cards, 24 00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,663 and then look in the mirror. 25 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,499 Hey, I'm smiling. 26 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:51,874 - Uh-huh. - (firecracker pops) 27 00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:52,709 And what does that 28 00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,590 tell me about your cards? 29 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,966 That I like them? 30 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,638 Attaboy. Now... 31 00:00:58,517 --> 00:00:59,553 look at my face. 32 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:00,637 - (firecracker pops) - Tell me 33 00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,013 what you see. 34 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:03,511 That you're old. 35 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:05,688 It's a good thing I love you. 36 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,141 (firecracker pops) - I'm gonna look at my cards again. 37 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,394 You're unhappy. 38 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:12,861 Which means...? 39 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,439 You don't have good cards. 40 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,524 - Mm-hmm. - (firecracker pops) 41 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,033 So... 42 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,369 I'm gonna see your nickel... 43 00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,993 - and raise you a quarter. - Quarter? 44 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:24,616 You can fold. 45 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,668 No. I have good cards; you have bad cards. 46 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,040 I'm in. 47 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,252 - Nines and fives. - Mm. 48 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:33,878 That's too bad. 49 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,047 Three queens. You lose! 50 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,674 - (laughing) - What? 51 00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,050 But you weren't happy. 52 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:42,179 - I made you think I was unhappy. - But that's lying. 53 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,805 You lied to your moon pie. 54 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,388 I bluffed my moon pie. 55 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,395 - Do people know about this? - Sheldon, 56 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,022 what's on a person's face 57 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:54,729 is not always what's in their heart. 58 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,068 Well, this changes everything. 59 00:01:57,284 --> 00:01:58,525 How do you know who to trust? 60 00:01:58,744 --> 00:01:59,825 You don't. 61 00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,029 That's what makes life interesting. 62 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,746 ADULT SHELDON: Meemaw liked to teach me things that kept me awake at night. 63 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:07,950 MARY: Mom, we're home! 64 00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:09,081 In here! 65 00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:10,874 What's he doing up? 66 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,170 Losin'. 67 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,498 (firecracker pops) 68 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:14,878 Hell is that? 69 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,550 I sent Georgie on a beer run, 70 00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,879 and tipped him with firecrackers. 71 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:19,924 Oh, Mom. 72 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,597 - Was I supposed to stiff him? - (door opens) 73 00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:22,423 (door closes) 74 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:26,102 I ate so much candy! 75 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,181 Okay. 76 00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,561 They're all yours. 77 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,234 (chuckles) 78 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,276 (firecracker pops) 79 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,897 - ♪ Faith, faith, faith. ♪ - (groans) 80 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:40,571 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 81 00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,403 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪ 82 00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:46,080 ♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪ 83 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,783 ♪ I am a mighty little man ♪ 84 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,495 ♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪ 85 00:02:58,387 --> 00:03:01,004 Sometimes people say to me, "Pastor Jeff, 86 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,634 how do you know there's a God?" 87 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,387 And I say, "It's simple math. 88 00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,015 God either exists or he doesn't." 89 00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,186 (chuckles): So let's be cynical. 90 00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:12,232 Worst-case scenario, there's a 50-50 chance. 91 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,104 And I like those odds. 92 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:15,776 That's wrong. 93 00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,775 Shelly, put your hand down. 94 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,651 Sorry. Please continue. 95 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,274 (chuckles) It's okay, Mary. 96 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:22,734 I-It's Sheldon, right? 97 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,785 - Yes, sir. - Well, Sheldon, 98 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,329 why don't you come on up here and tell me how I'm wrong. 99 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,873 - No. - Okay. 100 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,166 (chuckles) Let's give him a hand, everybody. 101 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,040 Mm. What's happening? 102 00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,757 Shelly's gonna eat him alive. (chuckles) 103 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:43,629 PASTOR JEFF: So... 104 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:44,755 you were saying? 105 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,888 You've confused possibilities with probabilities. 106 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,844 According to your analogy, when I go home 107 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,181 I might find a million dollars on my bed or I might not. 108 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,266 In what universe is that 50-50? 109 00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,441 (congregation murmuring) 110 00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:57,898 PASTOR JEFF: So what do you think 111 00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,196 the odds are that God exists? 112 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:01,897 I think they're zero. 113 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,574 I believe in science. 114 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,447 (congregation ooh'ing, murmuring) 115 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:06,277 PASTOR JEFF: So you don't think 116 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,863 science and religion can go hand in hand? 117 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,957 Science is facts, religion is faith. 118 00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,626 - I prefer facts. - Mm. 119 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,544 I understand that. 120 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:16,792 Here's a cool fact for ya. 121 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,464 A lot of famous scientists 122 00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,132 believed in God. 123 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:21,633 Isaac Newton. 124 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,006 Albert Einstein. 125 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,962 Even Charles Darwin. 126 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,844 (congregation ah'ing) 127 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:30,176 So Darwin's right about God and wrong about evolution? 128 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:31,390 Now you're gettin' it. 129 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,187 Let's give it up for Sheldon, everybody. 130 00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,560 What a good sport. Oh. 131 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,566 (organ playing) 132 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,690 ADULT SHELDON: But I wasn't a good sport. 133 00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,737 At that moment, I vowed to come back 134 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,567 the following Sunday and destroy Pastor Jeff. 135 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,652 (knocking) 136 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,420 Uh, hello, Mr. Cooper. 137 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:58,872 Is Missy home? 138 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,507 Hello, Billy. No, she's at church. 139 00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,131 I brought her eggs from my chickens. 140 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,088 I see that. 141 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,133 You can boil them or scramble them. 142 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,510 Okay. 143 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,933 I like fried. 144 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,440 Okay. 145 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,191 I don't like poached. 146 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,989 Okay. 147 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,613 Thank you for your time. 148 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,203 Okay. 149 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,003 MARY: You want me to cook those eggs for you, baby? 150 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,913 No. They're a gift. 151 00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:42,631 Sorry. 152 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,334 He even wrote me a note. 153 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:48,467 "Eggs from your secret admirer. Billy." 154 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,176 GEORGE SR. (calls): Mary, can you come in here? 155 00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:51,845 I'm cookin'. 156 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,892 I really need you to come in here. 157 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:55,769 What on earth? 158 00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:58,347 Uh-oh. 159 00:05:58,859 --> 00:05:59,599 What? 160 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:00,979 Listen to this. 161 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,148 "French philosopher, 162 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,276 "mathematician and physicist, Blaise Pascal, 163 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:09,950 "argued a rational person should believe God exists 164 00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,574 "because you have everything to gain if you're right, 165 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,781 and nothing to lose if you're wrong." 166 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,707 Sounds right. 167 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:18,913 (footsteps approaching) 168 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,043 MARY: Meemaw is coming over 169 00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,666 to watch you... I gotta go. 170 00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,673 - Where? - Daddy's not feeling good. 171 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,376 We're gonna go see a doctor. 172 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,423 - Is he okay? - He's gonna be fine. 173 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:29,503 You just sit right there. 174 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,510 Meemaw's on her way over to cook you dinner. 175 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:32,923 Can we come with you? 176 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,385 No. Just stay right there, don't move. 177 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,345 George, let's go. 178 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,569 How long are we supposed to sit here? 179 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:53,868 I don't know. 180 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,283 She said don't move. 181 00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,535 She was very clear. 182 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,956 Hope I don't have to go to the bathroom. 183 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,207 (door opens) 184 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:04,914 Don't worry! 185 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,374 Meemaw's here! 186 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,710 Everything's under control! 187 00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,218 Oh. (chuckles) 188 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,841 We haven't had dinner yet. 189 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,092 Really? 190 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,924 (groans) 191 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,681 I don't feel like cookin'. 192 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,849 I think my husband's having a heart attack! 193 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,145 NURSE: I need an RRT and a crash cart. 194 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:28,354 Over here. 195 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:32,609 Sir, are you having chest pains right now? 196 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:33,780 Yeah, a little bit. 197 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,078 Any numbness or pain in your arms? 198 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,329 Maybe this one. 199 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:38,576 Shortness of breath? 200 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,498 Enough questions. 201 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,325 He's a fat, middle-aged man with chest pains. 202 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:42,250 Do something! 203 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,749 - All right. - Sorry about the fat, honey. 204 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,872 You said you liked me this way. 205 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:48,715 (grunts) 206 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,543 Is Daddy gonna be okay? 207 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,549 Oh, yeah. Your Pop-Pop used to have 208 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,721 little chest pains all the time. 209 00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,890 Didn't he die of a heart attack? 210 00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,594 Well, for insurance purposes, yes. 211 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,100 (door opens) 212 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,231 Hey. What's goin' on? 213 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,059 Dad's in the hospital. 214 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,193 What? Why's Dad in the hospital? 215 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,987 - He's gonna be fine. - He had chest pains. 216 00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,439 He's gonna be fine. 217 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,441 What are we doin'? Why aren't we going to the hospital? 218 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,151 Nobody's goin' nowhere. 219 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,903 We're just gonna stay calm, 220 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,239 have a nice dinner, and wait for your mama to call 221 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,743 and tell us what's what. 222 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,700 I'm not hungry. 223 00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,081 What did you mean by "insurance purposes"? 224 00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,460 Just eat. 225 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,294 (laughter on TV) 226 00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,851 What kind of Texan drinks pink wine? 227 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,644 (phone rings) 228 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:47,391 Hello. 229 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,101 Hi, Mom. Kids okay? 230 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,061 Yeah, they're fine. How's George? 231 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,360 I don't know. They're running tests. 232 00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:57,531 Well, don't you worry about us. (chuckles) 233 00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,079 Everything's under control here. 234 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:01,993 Okay. 235 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,949 I'll call you when I know more. 236 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,785 How you holdin' up? 237 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,212 I guess I'm okay. 238 00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,380 Well, George is gonna pull through this, honey. 239 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,583 I guarantee it. 240 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,919 Thanks, Mom. 241 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,219 Thanks for bein' there. 242 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,887 You bet. 243 00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:19,840 I'll call you later. 244 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:20,891 Okay. 245 00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,097 Bye. 246 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,726 What'd she say? 247 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,979 The doctors are doin' some tests, but, dollars to donuts, 248 00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,732 your daddy's just got a bad case of gas. 249 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,063 Y'all two go get ready for bed. 250 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,023 I don't want to stay around here. 251 00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,074 I want to go to the hospital and see Dad. 252 00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,152 Well, I want to go to Las Vegas and see Willie Nelson, 253 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,203 but that ain't gonna happen either. 254 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,031 This is stupid. 255 00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,658 You know what's stupid? 256 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,834 I got to drink pink wine! 257 00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:48,786 (door slams) 258 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:49,874 Meemaw? 259 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:50,996 What? 260 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,832 Is Dad really okay? 261 00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,463 Yes. 262 00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,011 I hope you're not bluffing. 263 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,897 You asleep? 264 00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,149 No. 265 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,818 Me neither. 266 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,321 Every time the phone rings, I get scared. 267 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,033 Me, too. 268 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,660 (knocking) 269 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,704 I'm goin' to see Dad. You guys want to come? 270 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,624 How? Meemaw said we have to stay here. 271 00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,660 You want to go or not? 272 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,706 ♪♪ 273 00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:38,757 Shh. 274 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,301 Shh. 275 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:43,715 Who do I shush? 276 00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,016 - Shh! - Shh! 277 00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,810 (snores softly) 278 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,282 (keys jangle) 279 00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:08,866 (quietly): What are you doing? 280 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,371 I'm driving to the hospital. 281 00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,920 You can come with me or stay here... up to you. 282 00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,163 I'm comin'. 283 00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:16,464 Sheldon? 284 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:17,416 You're 14. 285 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,092 You don't know how to drive. 286 00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,761 I drove a tractor at 4-H camp. 287 00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,213 It's the same thing. 288 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,594 But you sat on the farmer's lap. 289 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,890 Then stay here. 290 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,263 Come on, Missy. 291 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:30,929 (snores loudly) 292 00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,065 (engine starts) 293 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,272 - (click) - ♪And I whine, I'm after you ♪ 294 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,480 What are you doin'? 295 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,157 Travelin' music. 296 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,446 SHELDON: Ugh. 297 00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,118 I'm coming with you. 298 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,912 Why are you wearin' my helmet? 299 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,831 I don't expect this to end well. 300 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,200 And the pillows? 301 00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,705 Same answer. 302 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,504 Turn it off. I've got to concentrate. 303 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,001 Aw. 304 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,965 - (music stops) - Okay, 305 00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,384 seat belts, everybody. 306 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,761 Please drive slowly. 307 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,838 Relax. I know what I'm doin'. 308 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,053 - Whoa! - Whoa! 309 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,475 ADULT SHELDON: I've often been asked 310 00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,973 why I never learned to drive a car. 311 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,145 This night... 312 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,274 is your answer. 313 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,150 Please slow down. 314 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,478 I'm goin' eight miles an hour. 315 00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,146 A cow just passed us. 316 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,948 - Do you know how to get to the hospital? - Yeah. 317 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,946 It's right across the street from the Dairy Queen. 318 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,572 Which Dairy Queen? 319 00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:27,995 What are you talkin' about? 320 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,238 There's two. 321 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:30,239 Really? 322 00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,118 You're gonna hit it! 323 00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:32,450 Which is the one Mom takes us to? 324 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:33,580 You're gonna hit it! 325 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,831 Ooh, you're in trouble now! 326 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,882 (phone ringing) 327 00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:03,988 Yeah? 328 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,199 What took you so long to answer? 329 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,528 Powdering my nose. What's it to ya? 330 00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,747 Sorry I asked. Just wanted to give you an update. 331 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,120 Y... What's goin' on? 332 00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,042 They want to run some more tests. 333 00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,836 They're gonna hold him overnight. 334 00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,915 Oh. Oh, well, that's, that's nothin' to worry about. 335 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,545 That's just precautionary. 336 00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:24,217 How are the kids? 337 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,216 Oh. (chuckles) They were a little worried, 338 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,593 but I handled it. 339 00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:29,881 They sleepin'? 340 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,179 Um... 341 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,095 Yeah, yeah. 342 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,391 You bet. 343 00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,480 Thanks again for helpin'. 344 00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:38,603 Oh, hey, 345 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,150 these are my grandchildren. 346 00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,102 They are my blood. 347 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:43,729 Okay. I better go. 348 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,611 Okay. We'll talk later. 349 00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,028 (exhales) 350 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:00,997 Son of a bitch. 351 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,421 I hate those kids. 352 00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,925 ♪♪ 353 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,056 MISSY: Just admit it, we're lost. 354 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,470 We're not lost. 355 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,722 Well, I sure don't see a hospital anywhere. 356 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,187 Why don't we ask somebody for directions? 357 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,685 Because we're children in a car, genius. 358 00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,059 Dang it! 359 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,940 Are you aiming for them? 360 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,942 Everybody just shut up. I got this. 361 00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:28,945 (siren wailing) 362 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,945 Oh, no. We're going to jail. 363 00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,574 Georgie's going to jail. 364 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,281 I'm saying I was kidnapped. 365 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:36,706 SHELDON: That's a good plan. 366 00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:38,454 You and I were kidnapped. 367 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,002 If I'm going to jail, we're all going to jail. 368 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,206 Oh, you better pull over. 369 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,129 GEORGE JR.: Oh, thank God. 370 00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,715 - Well, don't just sit there... follow it. - Why? 371 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,176 It's an ambulance... it's going to the hospital. 372 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:57,473 Hang on. 373 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,100 MISSY: How about I put the radio on real low? 374 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,435 GEORGE JR.: Shut up. 375 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:06,899 Mary. 376 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:07,938 Mom! 377 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,944 - Where are they? - Where's who? 378 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,200 More importantly... 379 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:16,947 ...how is George? SHELDON: - Mom! 380 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,500 - Ah. There they are! - Hey. Oh. 381 00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:20,951 MEEMAW: Ha! I lost the little rascals 382 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,877 in the... hall. 383 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,500 I want to see Dad. 384 00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:25,580 - Me, too. - Me, too. 385 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:26,961 The doctors are with him now. 386 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,292 I'll take you in a bit. 387 00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,718 Why are they here? 388 00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:31,757 I think it's obvious. 389 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,255 They love their daddy. 390 00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,429 No, I get that. Why aren't they home in bed? 391 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,189 Well, nobody could sleep. 392 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,434 I thought it was the right thing. 393 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:48,774 Good bluff. 394 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,071 Shh. 395 00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,153 Okay, thank you. 396 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,821 You all need anything? You hungry? 397 00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,026 - No. - No, thank you. 398 00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,953 Okay, everybody sit tight. 399 00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:59,077 I'm gonna go check on your dad. 400 00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,287 Georgie. 401 00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,086 Give me my damn keys. 402 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,665 Oh, yeah. Here. 403 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,590 Thank you. 404 00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,798 How did I beat you here? 405 00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,051 We kept hitting garbage cans. 406 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,256 Oh, God. 407 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:17,967 I need to wash my hands. 408 00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:21,270 - There are germs here that can kill you. - Hold up. 409 00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:24,306 Now, y'all like it when your meemaw babysits. 410 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,812 Poker, candy, firecrackers. 411 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,435 - Yes. - Yeah. - Yeah. 412 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,486 Well, if your mother ever finds out 413 00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,192 what you did tonight, 414 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,775 that is never gonna happen again. 415 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,405 I can't lie to my mother. 416 00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:39,329 Sure you can. Believe in yourself! 417 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,919 (monitor beeping steadily) 418 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,258 (labored breathing) 419 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,211 (amplified heartbeat) 420 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,424 (rapid beeping) 421 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:03,891 (weak exhale) 422 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,896 (amplified, rapid heartbeat) 423 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,030 (pants quietly) 424 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,003 ♪♪ 425 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,104 ADULT SHELDON: Despite what it looks like, 426 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,151 I didn't pray to God that night. 427 00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,855 I prayed to Blaise Pascal. 428 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,531 My thinking was, 429 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,234 if he was right about the existence of God, 430 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:01,115 then he could pass along my request 431 00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,912 for my dad to get better. 432 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,081 If he was wrong... 433 00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:06,624 well... 434 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:10,212 in this moment, I needed him to be right. 435 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,503 What's taking so long? 436 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:18,382 Shh. 437 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,681 Keep your voice down, car thief. 438 00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,258 I didn't steal your car, I just borrowed it. 439 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,182 You're gonna need to make bail someday. 440 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,724 Do not come to me. 441 00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:30,891 MARY: Good news! 442 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,317 Your daddy's gonna be fine. 443 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,736 - Should be home in a day or two. - Oh! 444 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,108 And was it a heart attack? 445 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:37,656 Minor. No permanent damage. 446 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,991 Oh! That's wonderful! 447 00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,818 Our prayers have been answered. 448 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:43,946 Come on, everybody, 449 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,872 let's say hello to your old dad. 450 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,790 ♪♪ 451 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,208 Come on. 452 00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,077 ADULT SHELDON: For a brief moment, 453 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,461 I was filled with the healing power of faith. 454 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,713 Then the next day, we all got violently ill 455 00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,841 from Billy Sparks' eggs, and I was over it. 456 00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:08,353 I thought I'd talk this morning about how it all began. 457 00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:11,648 Now, everybody knows how, on the first day of creation, 458 00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,101 God said, "Let there be light." 459 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,689 And there was light. 460 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:19,148 And when God saw that light, he knew it was good. 461 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:20,482 (congregation murmuring) 462 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:21,532 Oh, here we go. 463 00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,406 Yes, Sheldon. 464 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:26,830 You said he didn't create the sun until day four. 465 00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:27,868 Yeah. 466 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,371 So how could there be light the first three days? 467 00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,164 God is light. 468 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,837 So God's a photon? 469 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,208 God's what made photons possible. 470 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,168 And what day did he do that? 471 00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:41,803 I would think day one. 472 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,639 If I grab my chest and keel over, maybe we can get out of here. 473 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,512 That's a terrible thing to say. 474 00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,559 ...because the first day had just begun. 475 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,182 So, before the Big Bang? 476 00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:51,605 There was no Big Bang. 477 00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,148 There was only the Word. 478 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,146 Was the word "kaboom"? 479 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,564 Okay, do it. 480 00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:57,519 (grunts) 481 00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,603 We gotta go. 482 00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,155 (grunting) 483 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:01,447 MISSY: What's happening? 484 00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,525 - Is it over? - Y-Yes.