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ADULT SHELDON: It was a beautiful morning
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00:00:02,214 --> 00:00:03,921
in East Texas.
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The kind of morning that
made you want to get up,
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00:00:10,015 --> 00:00:13,207
get dressed and test that acceleration
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00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:17,901
due to gravity does not
depend on an object's motion.
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00:00:17,904 --> 00:00:19,536
I love Saturdays.
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00:00:19,539 --> 00:00:22,715
The Earth causes the same
gravitational acceleration
8
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:23,715
of everything,
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00:00:23,718 --> 00:00:26,675
even a doll and a flying Ping-Pong ball.
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00:00:26,677 --> 00:00:28,614
It's not often a man of science
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00:00:28,617 --> 00:00:32,381
gets to say "Yippee
ki-yay," and mean it, but...
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00:00:32,383 --> 00:00:34,283
Yippee ki-yay.
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
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Morning, Herschel.
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Hey, George. Uh, you didn't see a dog
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wandering around here, did you?
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No. Y'all get a dog?
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00:00:45,385 --> 00:00:47,562
Uh, sort of. We took him
in after my brother-in-law
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had to go live in a gated community.
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00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:53,035
Oh, that sounds nice, uh,
they got a no pets policy?
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He's in jail, George.
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Right, sure.
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ADULT SHELDON: In physics,
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nothing feels better
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than predicting an outcome.
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I love predictability.
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00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:03,437
The force of gravity: predictable.
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Nuclear fusion: predictable.
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My brother peeing in the shower:
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repulsive, but predictable.
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What isn't predictable:
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00:01:12,234 --> 00:01:14,290
dogs.
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I've always been terrified of dogs.
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To me, they're nothing but
big, furry question marks.
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Question marks with teeth.
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[BARKS]
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In panic situations, I'd
often lose consciousness.
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[BARKS]
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This time, I only lost my voice.
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[WEAKLY]: Help.
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Please help.
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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SMURF [OVER TV]: Uh, I was just admiring
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Grandpa Smurf's unique walking stick.
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00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,073
Smurf-a-loo-loo.
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00:02:04,075 --> 00:02:05,395
That's not my walking stick.
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00:02:05,398 --> 00:02:06,473
Lunch is ready.
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00:02:06,476 --> 00:02:07,843
Can you go get your brother?
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00:02:07,845 --> 00:02:09,378
I'm watching TV.
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Just go.
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[SIGHS] I have to do smurfing
everything around here.
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I heard that.
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I said "smurfing."
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And I heard how you said it.
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[DOOR CLOSES]
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00:02:20,925 --> 00:02:23,259
She can cut her own crusts off.
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00:02:23,261 --> 00:02:25,127
Sheldon?
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Who are you?
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00:02:27,531 --> 00:02:29,309
You're so cute.
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SHELDON [WHISPERING]: Be careful.
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What are you doing up there?
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Staying alive.
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Whose dog is this?
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I don't know. Get help.
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00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:40,309
Well, how did he get into the garage?
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Please get help.
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00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:43,579
Maybe we can keep it.
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I'm begging you, get help now.
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First, I have to tell you something.
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What?
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Lunch is ready.
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GEORGE SR. [LAUGHING]:
Will you look at that?
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What kind of dog chews through wood?
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00:02:59,351 --> 00:03:00,963
Y'all are feeding him, right?
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00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:02,328
Maybe he's teething.
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00:03:02,331 --> 00:03:03,599
You know, when Billy was little,
81
00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,122
he chewed right through his playpen.
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- No kidding?
- Only had three teeth.
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Mostly gummed it.
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So how y'all want to fix it?
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Well, I figure I'll patch it,
86
00:03:12,977 --> 00:03:14,856
run some chicken wire
along the bottom...
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00:03:14,859 --> 00:03:16,712
That way, he don't
chew through it again.
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00:03:16,714 --> 00:03:19,615
Hello.
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00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,050
- Hey.
- Hey, Billy.
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00:03:21,052 --> 00:03:23,962
Was this fence window always here?
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[SIGHS]
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00:03:25,601 --> 00:03:28,457
No, son, that's a new fence window.
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Anybody else getting dizzy?
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Why didn't you call for help?
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I tried, but no sound came out.
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You poor thing.
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It was very dirty up there.
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00:03:52,226 --> 00:03:54,750
Is cleaning the garage
your job or Dad's?
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Don't you worry about that.
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Here, have some tea.
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- Chamomile?
- Yes.
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One teaspoon of honey?
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00:04:00,024 --> 00:04:01,098
Yes.
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00:04:01,101 --> 00:04:02,491
An ice cube to cool it off?
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00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:04,153
I went with two today.
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00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,859
You've been through enough.
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00:04:10,578 --> 00:04:12,134
I prefer one ice cube.
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Drink it.
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It's nice when the kids are in bed,
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and we can just hang out and relax.
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I'm not even gonna respond to that.
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[SIGHS] I finally got him asleep.
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He's still pretty shook up.
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MEEMAW: Maybe having
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00:04:29,653 --> 00:04:31,620
this mutt next door won't be so bad.
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Shelly could end up getting used to it.
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That's true.
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Remember when he got all freaked out
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by the fruit at the bottom of yogurt?
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Now he eats it no problem.
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He still makes me stir it.
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MEEMAW: Maybe you could start out
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with a small pet, and work your way up.
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Like a turtle.
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He says they carry salmonella.
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A gerbil?
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00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,038
Apparently, they caused the plague.
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What about a bird?
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Oh, I know that one.
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They'll steal his hair to make a nest.
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♪ ♪
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[DOG PANTING]
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- Mom!
- [BARKS]
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ADULT SHELDON: At least
this time, sound came out.
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- I call that progress.
- [BARKS]
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[WHIMPERS]
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[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
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What's going on?
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Your dog got into our house.
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How the hell did he do that?
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He pushed in a screen window.
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You think he chewed through
the fence again?
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All I know is Sheldon's
yelling at the dog,
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and Mary's yelling at me.
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Now I'm looking at
you in your underwear.
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BRENDA: Damn it,
Herschel, what is going on?
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- Oh, hey, George.
- Hey, Brenda.
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00:05:45,476 --> 00:05:47,110
Bucky got in their house.
149
00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:48,121
That's funny.
150
00:05:48,124 --> 00:05:51,092
It might be funny one
day, not right now.
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00:05:51,095 --> 00:05:52,448
Look, I'm real sorry, George.
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I'll keep him tied up,
it won't happen again.
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Y'all have a good night.
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MARY: George!
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You are not gonna believe this. Look.
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Their dog left a dead
squirrel in our living room.
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00:06:01,993 --> 00:06:04,274
Well, h-he is part hunting dog.
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00:06:04,277 --> 00:06:05,860
I think that means he likes you.
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00:06:05,863 --> 00:06:07,824
I'm not interested
in winning his affection.
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00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:11,019
I'm interested in keeping dogs
and rodents outside of my home.
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BRENDA: Well, now, hold on.
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How do we know it was Bucky that left
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00:06:13,638 --> 00:06:14,904
that squirrel in your house?
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00:06:14,906 --> 00:06:16,906
Maybe that squirrel was already there.
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00:06:16,908 --> 00:06:20,443
Why else would a dead
squirrel be in my living room?
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00:06:20,445 --> 00:06:22,211
I don't know what
kind of house you keep.
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[GASPS]
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My house is immaculate.
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00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,482
- George, tell them.
- Uh...
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She does keep a nice house.
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Honey, it's a pretty
good chance it was Bucky.
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00:06:30,555 --> 00:06:32,876
- Whose side are you on?
- Yours, always yours.
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00:06:32,879 --> 00:06:34,699
All right. Everyone's upset, it's late.
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00:06:34,702 --> 00:06:36,559
Maybe we should drop this for tonight?
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00:06:36,561 --> 00:06:38,090
That's a good idea. Okay.
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00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,969
You just keep your dog away from my son.
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- There you go picking it up again.
- I am sorry,
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but their dog broke into our home.
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00:06:43,363 --> 00:06:45,509
Something he probably
learned from your brother.
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00:06:45,512 --> 00:06:46,746
How dare you.
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00:06:46,749 --> 00:06:49,183
Okay, I think that's
a good stopping point.
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00:06:49,186 --> 00:06:50,940
How do we know that your son didn't
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00:06:50,942 --> 00:06:54,143
lure Bucky in to perform weird
science experiments on him?
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00:06:54,145 --> 00:06:57,479
My son was asleep in his bed,
and you have some nerve...
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[SCREAMS]
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00:06:59,017 --> 00:07:00,616
Oh, oh, oh! Oh!
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00:07:00,618 --> 00:07:02,218
HERSCHEL: Night, George!
188
00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:03,319
Night!
189
00:07:03,321 --> 00:07:05,721
[SCREECHING]
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00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:09,558
I don't understand why that dog
191
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,193
is so interested in Sheldon.
192
00:07:11,195 --> 00:07:13,763
Maybe Bucky likes the
way Sheldon smells?
193
00:07:13,765 --> 00:07:15,698
Your brother washes
himself three times a day.
194
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:16,955
He has no smell.
195
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:18,851
Here we go: animal control.
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00:07:18,854 --> 00:07:20,187
MEEMAW: Oh, no, no.
197
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,737
No, you don't want to go
calling animal control.
198
00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:24,588
- Why not?
- Because,
199
00:07:24,591 --> 00:07:27,275
you have to live next
door to these people.
200
00:07:27,278 --> 00:07:31,412
They called the cops on Georgie
when he played music too loud.
201
00:07:31,415 --> 00:07:34,345
Maybe it was them, maybe it was me.
202
00:07:34,348 --> 00:07:35,623
Anyway, the point is,
203
00:07:35,626 --> 00:07:36,857
you don't can't go throwing
204
00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:38,321
gasoline on the fire.
205
00:07:38,323 --> 00:07:39,622
Well, they started this fire,
206
00:07:39,624 --> 00:07:41,324
and now, they're gonna get burned.
207
00:07:41,326 --> 00:07:43,859
I believe you've had enough coffee.
208
00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:46,837
Listen, why don't you
let me talk to Brenda,
209
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,235
and just smooth things out?
210
00:07:48,238 --> 00:07:49,732
Why do you think she'll listen to you?
211
00:07:49,734 --> 00:07:52,201
Because people like me more than you.
212
00:07:52,203 --> 00:07:54,270
People like me.
213
00:07:54,272 --> 00:07:56,505
I didn't say they don't,
they just like me more.
214
00:07:56,507 --> 00:07:57,521
Anyway,
215
00:07:57,524 --> 00:07:59,108
I see her all the time at bowling.
216
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:00,876
I know how to handle her.
217
00:08:00,878 --> 00:08:02,111
Fine.
218
00:08:02,113 --> 00:08:03,657
Thank you.
219
00:08:08,493 --> 00:08:10,360
Plenty of people like me.
220
00:08:16,294 --> 00:08:18,427
Hey, Brenda, how's it going?
221
00:08:18,429 --> 00:08:21,931
Your daughter's a pain in my
ass, that's how it's going.
222
00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:23,933
[LAUGHS]
223
00:08:23,935 --> 00:08:25,334
You don't beat around the bush.
224
00:08:25,336 --> 00:08:27,134
I've always liked that about you.
225
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:29,105
Connie, I've had a long night.
226
00:08:29,107 --> 00:08:31,707
Unless you're looking to
bowl, I don't want to hear it.
227
00:08:31,709 --> 00:08:33,175
Aw, now, come on.
228
00:08:33,177 --> 00:08:35,878
Let me buy you a drink,
and we'll talk about this.
229
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,347
I'm more on your side than you think.
230
00:08:38,349 --> 00:08:39,448
Somehow,
231
00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:41,817
- I doubt that.
- It's true.
232
00:08:41,819 --> 00:08:45,587
Don't you think I realize
that Mary can be a bit...
233
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:47,256
Of a self-righteous bitch?
234
00:08:47,258 --> 00:08:50,349
I was gonna say "challenging,"
but sure, let's go with yours.
235
00:08:50,352 --> 00:08:51,845
It's got a nice rhythm.
236
00:08:53,431 --> 00:08:55,431
Mmm.
237
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:56,999
Brenda, this is, by far,
238
00:08:57,001 --> 00:08:59,602
the best bowling alley
margarita in town.
239
00:08:59,604 --> 00:09:00,821
How long
240
00:09:00,824 --> 00:09:03,220
you and Herschel been
married? 18, 19 years?
241
00:09:03,223 --> 00:09:05,430
19, but it feels like 30.
242
00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:08,177
[CHUCKLES] Well, y'all
are a great couple.
243
00:09:08,179 --> 00:09:09,311
Eh.
244
00:09:09,313 --> 00:09:10,846
I just wanted to thank you
245
00:09:10,848 --> 00:09:13,582
for being so patient and kind
to my daughter and her family
246
00:09:13,584 --> 00:09:15,017
since they moved in.
247
00:09:15,019 --> 00:09:16,819
- It's nothing.
- No,
248
00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:18,365
it needs to be said.
249
00:09:18,368 --> 00:09:21,357
You know, Mary has a tough
job raising those three kids,
250
00:09:21,359 --> 00:09:24,794
with one of them being,
you know, somewhat special.
251
00:09:24,796 --> 00:09:26,695
- I can see that.
- Yeah.
252
00:09:26,697 --> 00:09:30,199
And having a kind neighbor makes
all the difference in the world.
253
00:09:30,201 --> 00:09:31,467
Well, we try.
254
00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:34,703
And I know you know how stressful it is,
255
00:09:34,705 --> 00:09:36,572
seeing as how you have your own child
256
00:09:36,574 --> 00:09:39,608
who is special in his own way.
257
00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:41,310
What's that supposed to mean?
258
00:09:41,312 --> 00:09:45,459
Well, I mean, hey, I know
Billy is a terrific little boy,
259
00:09:45,462 --> 00:09:48,617
but I am sure he has
presented you and Herschel
260
00:09:48,619 --> 00:09:50,386
with some challenges.
261
00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:52,756
If there's a weird kid
in the neighborhood,
262
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,240
it's your grandson.
263
00:09:54,243 --> 00:09:57,766
Now, hang on, I said
"special," not "weird."
264
00:09:57,769 --> 00:09:58,961
I heard you.
265
00:09:58,963 --> 00:10:00,296
I said "weird."
266
00:10:00,298 --> 00:10:01,954
Okay, see now, Brenda,
267
00:10:01,957 --> 00:10:04,100
you don't want to go
calling my grandson weird
268
00:10:04,102 --> 00:10:06,702
when I've just treated you
to a margarita grande.
269
00:10:06,704 --> 00:10:09,071
Well, I'm sorry, but you
shouldn't be inferring
270
00:10:09,073 --> 00:10:11,107
there's something wrong with my Billy.
271
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:13,209
Darlin', there's no inferring.
272
00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,144
I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt
273
00:10:15,146 --> 00:10:17,345
eating his own belly button lint.
274
00:10:20,477 --> 00:10:23,219
♪ That's the way the girls are in Texas ♪
275
00:10:23,221 --> 00:10:25,454
[GASPS]
276
00:10:25,456 --> 00:10:27,890
Really, Mom? This is
how you put out the fire?
277
00:10:27,892 --> 00:10:30,204
Well, at least she got the worst of it.
278
00:10:30,207 --> 00:10:31,627
How you figure that?
279
00:10:31,629 --> 00:10:34,396
I ripped a big patch
of hair out of her head.
280
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,298
This will be healed in a week.
281
00:10:37,301 --> 00:10:40,268
She will be wearing
a hat till Labor Day.
282
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:41,540
[CHUCKLES]
283
00:10:41,543 --> 00:10:43,505
I want to be just like
you when I grow up.
284
00:10:43,508 --> 00:10:45,204
- No, you don't.
- Pick again.
285
00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:57,670
Excuse me, Ms. Hutchins?
286
00:10:57,673 --> 00:10:58,837
Hey, Sheldon.
287
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,723
Can you recommend any
books on overcoming phobias?
288
00:11:01,726 --> 00:11:04,141
That's in the self-help section.
289
00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:06,978
Follow me, I have read them all.
290
00:11:06,981 --> 00:11:09,834
- Any phobia in particular?
- Dogs.
291
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,201
Ah, cynophobia. That's a good one.
292
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:14,610
Did you know there's
over 50 million dogs
293
00:11:14,613 --> 00:11:16,396
just in the United States alone?
294
00:11:16,399 --> 00:11:18,438
That's 50 million too many.
295
00:11:18,441 --> 00:11:21,510
Here. I read this one to
help with my haphephobia.
296
00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:25,581
Ah, fear of being touched. I
have that, too. Was it useful?
297
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:29,131
Well, when someone's
interested in touching me,
298
00:11:29,134 --> 00:11:30,719
we'll find out.
299
00:11:32,406 --> 00:11:33,573
[SIGHS]
300
00:11:33,576 --> 00:11:34,884
ADULT SHELDON: The basic premise
301
00:11:34,887 --> 00:11:36,610
of the book was that phobias
302
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,060
were overcome by taking
incremental steps
303
00:11:39,063 --> 00:11:41,532
toward confronting the
phobia in question.
304
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:44,700
In my case, that started
with watching a TV show
305
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:47,303
that was adored by
children around the world,
306
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:50,639
but for me, was the stuff of nightmares.
307
00:11:50,641 --> 00:11:53,275
Scooby-Doo!
308
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:56,368
The next step was to go face-to-face
309
00:11:56,371 --> 00:11:59,039
with real dogs.
310
00:11:59,042 --> 00:12:01,776
Albeit through a plate-glass window.
311
00:12:01,779 --> 00:12:03,178
Okay, that's enough.
312
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,423
ADULT SHELDON: And finally,
313
00:12:04,426 --> 00:12:07,227
a close encounter of the third kind,
314
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:11,045
physical contact with a
member of the canine species.
315
00:12:11,048 --> 00:12:14,384
Hello, I'd like to speak
with the veterinarian.
316
00:12:14,387 --> 00:12:16,720
Well, I was hoping you
might have one or two dogs
317
00:12:16,723 --> 00:12:19,727
under anesthesia that
I might come by and pet.
318
00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:21,703
Sure, I'll hold.
319
00:12:21,706 --> 00:12:23,706
Who are you talking to?
320
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,874
The Medford Veterinary Clinic.
321
00:12:25,876 --> 00:12:27,055
Why?
322
00:12:27,058 --> 00:12:28,774
I'm trying to overcome my fear of dogs
323
00:12:28,777 --> 00:12:30,876
before it affects our
family any further.
324
00:12:30,879 --> 00:12:34,310
Oh, honey, you don't have to
worry about how it affects us.
325
00:12:34,313 --> 00:12:36,986
Meemaw got punched in
the face because of me.
326
00:12:36,988 --> 00:12:40,990
No, that wasn't because
of you, and for the record,
327
00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:43,192
your meemaw gets punched
in the face all the time.
328
00:12:43,194 --> 00:12:44,735
Well, I still think I need to take
329
00:12:44,738 --> 00:12:46,423
some sort of positive action.
330
00:12:46,426 --> 00:12:48,518
- WOMAN [ON PHONE]: Hello?
- Yes, hello?
331
00:12:48,521 --> 00:12:50,232
Oh, that's too bad.
332
00:12:50,235 --> 00:12:53,748
How about a small fluffy one
that's recently died of old age?
333
00:12:53,751 --> 00:12:55,371
Enough.
334
00:12:55,373 --> 00:12:58,073
Sorry. [SIGHS]
335
00:13:01,857 --> 00:13:04,805
Now, it says here in Mark 12:31
336
00:13:04,808 --> 00:13:06,821
that you should "Love your neighbor
337
00:13:06,824 --> 00:13:08,342
as yourself."
338
00:13:08,344 --> 00:13:11,312
Anybody like to take a
guess what that means? Missy?
339
00:13:11,314 --> 00:13:14,348
It means to be nice to the
people who live next door.
340
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,483
That's right.
341
00:13:15,485 --> 00:13:17,269
But everybody else can go to hell.
342
00:13:17,272 --> 00:13:20,321
Okay, Missy, we don't use
that kind of language here.
343
00:13:20,324 --> 00:13:22,347
And if you think about
it, in this world,
344
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:26,660
with all the ways we can travel,
everybody's your neighbor.
345
00:13:26,663 --> 00:13:28,129
Yes, Sheldon.
346
00:13:28,131 --> 00:13:29,697
How do we love our neighbors
347
00:13:29,699 --> 00:13:31,532
when our moms hate each other?
348
00:13:31,534 --> 00:13:33,768
- Who does your mom hate?
- Your mom.
349
00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:36,580
Hey, my mom hates your mom. Small world.
350
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,406
Okay, let's hang on a second.
351
00:13:38,408 --> 00:13:40,074
My mom also hates their grandma.
352
00:13:40,076 --> 00:13:41,780
'Cause she lost a fight to her.
353
00:13:41,783 --> 00:13:44,213
Nuh-uh, she won. She said so.
354
00:13:44,216 --> 00:13:46,347
All right, stop. Let's stop.
355
00:13:46,349 --> 00:13:48,486
Now this might be hard to understand,
356
00:13:48,489 --> 00:13:50,523
but living a loving, Christian life
357
00:13:50,526 --> 00:13:52,924
isn't always the easiest thing to do.
358
00:13:54,457 --> 00:13:55,523
Yes, Billy.
359
00:13:55,525 --> 00:13:58,221
My mom's not crazy about you either.
360
00:14:00,530 --> 00:14:03,799
Just love your neighbor, 'kay? [SNIFFS]
361
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,470
JEFF: Now, I am more than
willing to look the other way
362
00:14:06,473 --> 00:14:08,702
when my parishioners don't
get along with each other.
363
00:14:08,705 --> 00:14:11,492
That sort of thing happens,
but when it becomes a problem
364
00:14:11,495 --> 00:14:14,163
for the children, then
I have to intervene.
365
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:16,344
There's no problem here,
366
00:14:16,346 --> 00:14:18,713
other than these two thinking
that they're better than me.
367
00:14:18,715 --> 00:14:20,114
I don't think it, I know it.
368
00:14:20,116 --> 00:14:21,616
I gave your mother a good smacking.
369
00:14:21,618 --> 00:14:22,817
I can give you one, too.
370
00:14:22,819 --> 00:14:25,152
That's big talk from
somebody with a comb-over.
371
00:14:25,154 --> 00:14:26,420
JEFF: Ladies.
372
00:14:26,422 --> 00:14:28,589
Do I need to remind you
that we are Christians?
373
00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:31,632
In all our behavior, in all our actions,
374
00:14:31,635 --> 00:14:34,228
we must constantly ask
ourselves the question,
375
00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:36,197
"What would Jesus do?"
376
00:14:36,199 --> 00:14:37,466
Can I say something?
377
00:14:37,469 --> 00:14:38,929
Would Jesus say it?
378
00:14:38,932 --> 00:14:40,801
Never mind.
379
00:14:42,639 --> 00:14:44,071
ADULT SHELDON: In my life,
380
00:14:44,073 --> 00:14:47,842
I've often been accused of
being a physical coward,
381
00:14:47,844 --> 00:14:51,096
and for the most part, those
accusations are correct.
382
00:14:52,882 --> 00:14:56,951
But there have been times
when I've shown great courage.
383
00:14:56,953 --> 00:15:00,021
This was one of them.
384
00:15:00,023 --> 00:15:02,690
Hello, Bucky.
385
00:15:02,692 --> 00:15:07,161
Are you a good dog?
386
00:15:07,163 --> 00:15:09,408
[SIGHS]
387
00:15:09,411 --> 00:15:12,078
Please be a good dog.
388
00:15:12,081 --> 00:15:14,385
[SIGHS] Please.
389
00:15:14,388 --> 00:15:17,437
Now oftentimes, when
we don't like someone,
390
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,774
what's happening is we
see something in them
391
00:15:19,776 --> 00:15:21,475
that we don't like in ourselves.
392
00:15:21,477 --> 00:15:22,943
What are you saying?
393
00:15:22,945 --> 00:15:25,146
Really? That was over your head?
394
00:15:25,148 --> 00:15:27,415
- [SCOFFS]
- I'm saying,
395
00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:29,684
y'all might have more
in common than you think.
396
00:15:29,686 --> 00:15:32,025
Well, don't say both their
kids are "special."
397
00:15:32,028 --> 00:15:34,439
She does not like that.
398
00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:38,192
SHELDON: Okay.
399
00:15:38,194 --> 00:15:40,928
Here we go.
400
00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:44,932
Petting... the dog.
401
00:16:01,033 --> 00:16:03,317
I'm doing it.
402
00:16:03,319 --> 00:16:05,920
I'm petting a dog.
403
00:16:05,922 --> 00:16:08,989
I've conquered my phobia.
404
00:16:08,991 --> 00:16:12,593
You're a good boy. Yes, you are.
405
00:16:12,595 --> 00:16:14,829
[SIGHS]
406
00:16:14,831 --> 00:16:17,698
I'm sorry for the unkind
things I said to you.
407
00:16:19,381 --> 00:16:21,180
Me, too.
408
00:16:22,572 --> 00:16:23,637
Connie?
409
00:16:23,639 --> 00:16:25,406
What?
410
00:16:25,408 --> 00:16:27,508
Anything you'd like to say?
411
00:16:27,510 --> 00:16:30,244
Not particularly.
412
00:16:30,246 --> 00:16:31,946
Mom.
413
00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:33,447
Okay.
414
00:16:35,104 --> 00:16:37,010
I'm sorry for the things I said,
415
00:16:37,013 --> 00:16:41,015
and, you know, what happened
at the bowling alley.
416
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:44,244
As am I.
417
00:16:46,162 --> 00:16:47,495
Here.
418
00:16:47,497 --> 00:16:49,643
I think this came out of your head.
419
00:16:53,468 --> 00:16:56,002
He licked me! He licked me!
420
00:16:56,005 --> 00:16:57,705
The dog licked my tongue!
421
00:16:57,707 --> 00:16:59,361
I can still taste it!
422
00:16:59,364 --> 00:17:02,809
- Call 911!
- [DOOR SLAMS]
423
00:17:02,812 --> 00:17:06,025
I think Jesus might go check that out.
424
00:17:08,591 --> 00:17:10,624
[SHELDON GARGLING]
425
00:17:10,627 --> 00:17:12,453
How's it going in there, baby?
426
00:17:12,455 --> 00:17:16,190
SHELDON: [SPITS] Okay, but
we're gonna need more Listerine.
427
00:17:16,192 --> 00:17:19,293
[GARGLING]
428
00:17:19,295 --> 00:17:22,429
I'm proud of him for trying to
overcome that damn dog phobia.
429
00:17:22,431 --> 00:17:24,179
You should tell him that.
430
00:17:24,182 --> 00:17:26,674
Well, if he ever leaves
that bathroom, I will.
431
00:17:26,677 --> 00:17:30,283
What I can't figure out is why
that dog is so drawn to Sheldon.
432
00:17:30,286 --> 00:17:31,772
Beats me.
433
00:17:31,774 --> 00:17:34,208
- You say his owner's in the slammer?
- Yeah.
434
00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:36,283
Wonder what kind of fella he is.
435
00:17:36,286 --> 00:17:38,920
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
436
00:17:56,399 --> 00:17:58,232
[SNIFFING]
437
00:17:58,234 --> 00:17:59,967
[WHINES]
438
00:17:59,969 --> 00:18:02,636
It's a mystery.
439
00:18:02,638 --> 00:18:04,494
I guess we'll never know.
440
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,726
MEEMAW: Hey, Moonpie.
441
00:18:10,729 --> 00:18:13,282
I got you a little something to help you
442
00:18:13,284 --> 00:18:15,631
get over your fear of animals.
443
00:18:15,634 --> 00:18:17,601
A tranquilizer gun?
444
00:18:17,604 --> 00:18:19,510
A pet fish.
445
00:18:20,916 --> 00:18:24,159
_
446
00:18:24,162 --> 00:18:25,561
Why?
447
00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:28,952
Well, I thought you could start
small and then work your way up.
448
00:18:28,955 --> 00:18:31,834
Look, he's kind of cute.
449
00:18:31,836 --> 00:18:36,654
He doesn't even care
that I'm here. I like him.
450
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,757
What are you gonna name him?
451
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,276
Fish.
452
00:18:40,278 --> 00:18:41,511
Fish?
453
00:18:41,513 --> 00:18:43,564
I'm not ready to get attached.
454
00:18:45,446 --> 00:18:47,077
Fish are kind of boring.
455
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,085
I know, isn't it great?
456
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,780
But you can't even pet 'em.
457
00:18:50,783 --> 00:18:53,790
Maybe we can.
458
00:18:53,792 --> 00:18:55,189
[SCREAMING]
459
00:18:55,192 --> 00:18:56,459
Baby, what's wrong?
460
00:18:56,461 --> 00:19:00,280
I tried to pet Fish!
Ah, he was so slimy!
461
00:19:00,283 --> 00:19:02,436
Well, yeah, he's a fish.
462
00:19:02,439 --> 00:19:05,935
I put my finger in the top of
the tank, then I touched him,
463
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,069
and he bit me!
464
00:19:07,071 --> 00:19:08,871
Oh, I'm sure he didn't bite you.
465
00:19:08,873 --> 00:19:10,006
SHELDON: I can't breathe.
466
00:19:10,008 --> 00:19:13,743
His fish blood is mixing
with my human blood.
467
00:19:13,745 --> 00:19:16,338
Maybe he was just trying
to give you a kiss.
468
00:19:16,341 --> 00:19:18,942
No. He hates me. I never
want to see him again.
469
00:19:18,945 --> 00:19:20,593
Oh, Sheldon, you're being silly.
470
00:19:20,596 --> 00:19:22,424
Fish like this don't bite.
471
00:19:23,521 --> 00:19:26,108
Look. See? He's harmless.
472
00:19:26,111 --> 00:19:27,890
Son of a bitch!
473
00:19:27,893 --> 00:19:29,508
Dad killed my fish!
474
00:19:29,511 --> 00:19:30,577
George!
475
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,395
He'll be fine.
476
00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:34,697
Just got to put him back in the bowl.
477
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:39,002
Oh, George.
478
00:19:45,546 --> 00:19:49,228
_
479
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:51,853
[TOILET FLUSHES]
480
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:56,946
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