1 00:00:00,210 --> 00:00:02,210 Larry David is back in the news again. 2 00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:03,795 That's right, the co-creator of Seinfeld 3 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,797 has returned to his contentious ways, 4 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,883 this time in the retail arena. 5 00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:10,260 Here's NBC's Josh Mankiewicz with more. 6 00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,888 Look, we've all experienced bad service before, 7 00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,224 but for most of us, there's not much you can do about it. 8 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:17,017 Maybe write a negative Yelp review, 9 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,144 or maybe you just don't go back to the place. 10 00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:22,231 But Larry David has chosen a different path. 11 00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:24,107 This is Mocha Joe's, 12 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,486 a small coffee shop serving the Westside of Los Angeles, 13 00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:30,155 and this is Latte Larry's. 14 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,783 Why two coffee shops right next to each other? 15 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,661 We went to the man himself for answers. 16 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,913 I was wronged. I was mistreated. 17 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,998 I ordered a cup of coffee next door, 18 00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:43,001 at this Mocha Joe's, and, Josh, 19 00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,379 the coffee is cold. 20 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:48,507 I politely asked for another cup of coffee. 21 00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:51,093 He banned me from the store. I couldn't live with it. 22 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,971 So you're operating this place just out of spite? 23 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,348 Yeah. It's a spite store. 24 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,017 I called him an old, bald nut. I mean, I cop to that. 25 00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:00,435 But the guy comes in here, 26 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,104 complains about the tables, complains about the coffee. 27 00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,689 Do you have wobbly tables? 28 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,857 Eh, one or two. But what's the big deal? You put your foot on it. 29 00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,484 Nobody else is complaining. 30 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,944 If he apologized, 31 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,363 would you get out of the coffee business? 32 00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:13,574 If it was a deep, heartfelt apology, 33 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,617 with maybe a little tear-- 34 00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:18,453 "Larry, my scones are like muffins." 35 00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,080 That would have to be included, of course. 36 00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:23,000 Okay, Larry says that if you would just apologize... 37 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,127 - (laughs) - ...he could get out of business. 38 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,921 Apologize? Me? Never. A ban is a ban. 39 00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,340 You ever think that maybe the problem is, 40 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,758 you were complaining too much? 41 00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,803 I don't like to tear people down. I want to help. 42 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,722 Look, this pocket square you got going, there, 43 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,223 it looks out of place. 44 00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,142 That's for some English dandy. 45 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,393 It's not for a journalist. 46 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:42,894 You don't think that's kind of insulting? 47 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,521 No, not in the least. 48 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,399 Hey, if you told me you didn't like my jacket or something, 49 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:48,817 well, I, I wouldn't care. 50 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,445 Actually, I, I really don't like your jacket. 51 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,530 Oh, is that so? 52 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:57,284 And while Larry was the first to open a spite store, 53 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,911 he's since started a trend here in Hollywood, 54 00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:02,164 with other celebrities following suit, 55 00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,582 like Jonah Hill, 56 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,959 who's now operating a spite deli. 57 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,878 Hill: So, you know, I used to go to Irv's Deli, 58 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,047 right next door, two, three times a week. 59 00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,425 And I found a hair in my sandwich. 60 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:14,926 - Not your hair? - No. 61 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,179 This was a gray hair. It wasn't my hair. 62 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,431 And this guy Irv's going, "Oh, it's yours." 63 00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,141 And I'm, like, what can I do, you know? 64 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,977 I, I can't sleep. I'm taking four or five Ambien to get to sleep, 65 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,896 'cause all I see is this guy Irv's face. 66 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,983 - So what changed? - What changed was I had seen Latte Larry's. 67 00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,985 The idea of a spite store's such a brilliant idea. 68 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,362 I'm gonna open a spite deli. 69 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,197 Mankiewicz: What started off with spite 70 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,616 has now become a passion project. 71 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,409 Thanks for dining with us. 72 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,578 Three dollars? 73 00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,040 And you're turning down acting and directing gigs for this? 74 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,333 What's left for me in Hollywood? 75 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,418 Win some award or something, you know? 76 00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,546 Any time I see a customer walk in here that used to go to Irv's, 77 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:55,175 it's like my own tiny little human Oscar walking in here. 78 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,468 So this is your life now? 79 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,636 I might actually open 80 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:58,887 a spite deli out in New York. 81 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,390 There was a spot on 42nd Street 82 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:04,309 that was a bit disrespectful that I'm looking at taking out. 83 00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:08,480 Jonah Hill is not the only celebrity with spite on his mind. 84 00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,774 This is Ray's Exotic Birds, 85 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,818 and this is Sean's. 86 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,444 It's become the place 87 00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:18,031 to get a macaw, or a hummingbird nester. 88 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:21,159 - (birds squawking) - I had always wanted a talking bird. 89 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,828 So I go to Ray, 90 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,830 just next door, 91 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,832 and he sells me the bird. 92 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:29,626 And the bird doesn't talk. It just sort of grunts. 93 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,462 So I go back to return it. He says, "No returns." 94 00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,214 I said, "Bullshit." 95 00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,717 'Cause he knew, he knew it was a mute bird. 96 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,511 And I'm on a kind of slow burn, 97 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,304 not knowing quite what to do. 98 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,765 Then Larry opens up the coffee place, 99 00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:46,143 and it was like, ding, ding, ding. 100 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,645 Sean's Exotic Birds. 101 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,689 It put Ray right out of business. 102 00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:54,234 Here, this is a hyacinth macaw, from Brazil. 103 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,652 Would you like to hold him? 104 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,737 Sure. 105 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,280 Does all the time you're spending here 106 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,198 take away from, you know, acting? 107 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:04,119 I was never a very, Zen sort of personality, 108 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:07,122 but I find myself very, very calm now. 109 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,082 I think, you know, it's the birds. 110 00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,209 - (loud squawk) - (screams): Shut up! 111 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,335 (squawks) 112 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,670 So the next time you see 113 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,757 two similar stores right next to each other, 114 00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:21,052 there's a pretty good chance one of 'em's doing it out of spite. 115 00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,388 Savannah and Hoda, back to you. 116 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,615 (theme music playing) 117 00:04:25,616 --> 00:04:30,350 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 118 00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,860 - Larry: Aah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Seiderman: It hurts right there? 119 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,529 - Now we're gonna bend it. - Anyway, the guy in the motorized wheelchair, 120 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,239 he's on line at my store-- 121 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,908 - Aah, that's plenty. Yeah. - Right there. Okay. 122 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,577 And all of a sudden, he gets beep panic, 123 00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,579 - and rolls right into me. - Seiderman: Unbelievable. 124 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,123 Okay, so here's the bottom line with your knee. Okay? 125 00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,334 - Larry: Yeah. - You have a tear in your meniscus. 126 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,003 You know, if you want to fix this thing once and for all, you need surgery. 127 00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,546 - Uh-huh. - All right? I go in there, 128 00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,924 I, uh, I repair the tear in your meniscus, 129 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,467 you're back home the very same day. 130 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,676 You'll be in bed for about a week. 131 00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,595 Okay, then we'll get you on crutches. 132 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,806 Then after about two months of intensive everyday rehab, 133 00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,933 you'll be back to normal, good as new. 134 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,018 - How does that sound? - Not so great. 135 00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,561 You could do other techniques, but you're gonna be 136 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,980 right back in this chair in a few months, I guarantee it. 137 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,151 What if I got a... 138 00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:20,195 second opinion? 139 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,781 - Why? - Just to see... 140 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,075 what somebody else might have to say about it. 141 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,910 If you want to get a second opinion, by all means. 142 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,204 It's your right. I encourage it. 143 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,581 Oh, okay. So we're cool, then? 144 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,833 Yeah, Larry. I'm cool. 145 00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,961 Get your second opinion. Let me know how it goes. 146 00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,712 You know, a lot of people are gonna say to me, 147 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,005 "You should get a second opinion." 148 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,299 So I can say, "Yeah. I got a second opinion." 149 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,343 So it's just so you can tell your friends you did it. 150 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,886 It's not even saying it to my friends. 151 00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,471 It's saying it to my late mother. 152 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,682 Okay, while here in my head, 153 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:49,933 "Larry, what are you doing? 154 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,102 Get a second opinion. Are you stupid?" 155 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,104 - Why do I need to hear that? - Yeah, you don't wanna hear that. 156 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:57,482 - No. Even though she's dead, I need to shut her up. - Got it. All right. 157 00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:00,068 Um, you can validate your parking up front, there. 158 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,861 Careful. Uh... 159 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:05,782 Hey! 160 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,617 - Larry! - Larry: Joey! 161 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,536 - How's it going? - Not terrible. 162 00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,162 How's your, uh, coffee shop doing? 163 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,914 - Doing quite well. - Really? 164 00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:16,209 - Yeah. - You lookin' for, uh, you know, any people? 165 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:19,254 - You're looking for-- - I, I am. I've been really unhappy where I am, 166 00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,673 - and I'm looking for something new. - Joey. 167 00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:24,217 - You think I'm gonna turn down a Funkhouser? - Larry! 168 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,344 - Yeah, of course. Come on. - Yeah, that'd be great. 169 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:28,972 Thank you, really. Terrific. I can't wait to start. 170 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,350 - All right, well, maybe even, uh, maybe even tomorrow. - Perfect. 171 00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:33,810 - Joey? - Mm? 172 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,270 What's going on over here? 173 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,939 Oh, I'm just waiting for it to get hot. 174 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,691 You're waiting for it to get hot? 175 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,360 - I don't think you respect the drought. - I do respect the drought. 176 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,279 - Do you respect the drought, Joey? - I do. I really do. 177 00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,656 I do respect the drought. I-- 178 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,617 - Whoa. - What? 179 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,701 What? 180 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,120 - Woo! Whoa! - Okay. 181 00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,580 Joey! 182 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:54,789 Larry. 183 00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:55,874 Yikes. 184 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,542 I mean, I support your transitioning, 185 00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:00,462 but you gave yourself quite a large penis there. 186 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,172 Yeah, I wanted to, 187 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:06,217 you know, follow in the Funkhouser tradition of penises. 188 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,802 Can you handle, uh, something like that? 189 00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,430 - That's, that's enormous. - It is, yeah. 190 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,058 But, I mean, it seems like a lot to, to lug around. 191 00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,393 - No, it isn't actually. - But-- 192 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,312 You've tried it out on some dames? 193 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,565 - I've had no complaints about it. No complaints. - No complaints. 194 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,192 Okay. All right. 195 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,569 - Enjoy your big penis. - (laughs): I am. 196 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:28,031 - And, uh, you know, go to town with it. - Thank you, Larry. That's-- 197 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,658 - We'll be in touch about the store. - Yeah. I'll call-- 198 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,493 I'll call you, and you just let me know 199 00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,536 - when I can start. I can't wait. - Larry: Fantastic. 200 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,164 - All right. Thank you, Larry. Okay. - Excited to have you. 201 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:41,294 - Larry: Hey! Whoa! - Look who I brought. 202 00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,505 - Country club shit right here. - Yeah. 203 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,423 How you, uh, doing? What's going on? 204 00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:49,052 Uh, I just saw Joey Funkhouser's new penis. 205 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,262 - Who? - Jeff: Marty Funkhouser's daughter 206 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,264 has transitioned into being a man. 207 00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,474 - Oh, wow. - Yeah. 208 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,978 Had the surgery, and, uh, it's big. 209 00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,312 - Leon: Mm. - How big? 210 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,106 - Really big. - Wow. 211 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,608 Yeah. He gave himself a giant penis. 212 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,276 - Did you see the balls? - No. 213 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,113 Completely taken with the penis that I didn't get to, you know, 214 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,823 look at the scrotum at all. 215 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,450 So wait a minute. This is what happens at country clubs? 216 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,619 White guys walking around showing each other their Johnson? 217 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,538 No, no, no. I saw it in the bathroom. 218 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,706 He was wearing a terrycloth robe. 219 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,124 He turned and the robe opened up. 220 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,792 People don't tie robes properly. 221 00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,962 - They do not. - They're very cavalier about a robe, you know? 222 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,089 You can't just fling one side over the other. 223 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,882 - Cinch your robe. - Cinch your robe. 224 00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,718 - Right. - I don't see how he can wear underwear with that thing. 225 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,803 It's so big there's no way he can fit in underwear. 226 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,304 - You can't. - Right? 227 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,557 Everybody in the big Johnson community knows that. 228 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,851 You can't wear underwear. I don't wear underwear. 229 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,311 - There's a big Johnson community? - Of course there is. 230 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:43,982 We meet once a month. We talk about the pitfalls of having a big-ass Johnson. 231 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,984 I've had several at the house. 232 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:49,320 You... You've had a big Johnson meeting at, at the house? 233 00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,948 When you're fuckin' out of town, the whole community shows the fuck up, 234 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,617 and we sit around the table, and just talk. 235 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,661 - Do you have officers? - Fuck, yeah, we do. 236 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,246 Who's the president? 237 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,832 My man, Horse Cock Williams. 238 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,168 Look, I don't have a big penis, 239 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:06,463 but I'd like to see if I could join the big Johnson community. 240 00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,715 How are you getting in the big Johnson community 241 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,091 without a big Johnson? What-- 242 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,218 I know somebody there who could vouch for me. 243 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,387 What do you mean, vouch for you? They, they, they gotta look at it! 244 00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,890 You can't just show up. You gotta flash that motherfucker at the door. 245 00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,893 - Yeah. See? - Well, what happens if I get caught? 246 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,811 They'll throw you out of there by your little-ass Johnson. 247 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,064 Larry: But maybe this would be a good thing for Joey, 248 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,941 because it's way too big, and he can't handle it. 249 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:29,444 I foresee... 250 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,739 big problems with that penis. 251 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,199 Big. 252 00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,366 To be honest, I always tell people 253 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,701 they can fix up the house. I don't-- 254 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,037 Hey, Larry! Hey! 255 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,539 Larry David. Hey. 256 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:42,916 Great news. 257 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:46,753 I am the listing agent of the house next to yours. 258 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,213 - Oh, really? You're selling it? - Yeah. 259 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,007 Ka-ching! Ka-ching! (chuckles) 260 00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,051 - Make some money on that one, right? - Yeah. 261 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,053 Okay. You know, I should buy it myself, 262 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,721 so I can avoid asshole neighbors. 263 00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,891 - (laughs) I like that. - You, you would never buy it, would you? 264 00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,602 It's a little bit out of my, uh, price range, you know, right now. 265 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,895 Oh. That's good. 266 00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,188 'Cause you're the last person in the world 267 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,815 I want living next door to me. 268 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,733 Clients love me, Larry. 269 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,361 (Larry whistling) 270 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,239 - (whistling continues) - (siren blaring) 271 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:17,158 (fire truck horn honks) 272 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:23,289 (horn blaring) 273 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:27,043 (siren continues) 274 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,685 (chuckling) 275 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:47,605 (indistinct chatter) 276 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,399 - Mm-hmm. - How's the coffee? 277 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,942 - It's good. - It's good. 278 00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,402 Yeah. Good. You know, 279 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,904 it's interesting, 'cause, uh, I was in my car earlier, 280 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,198 and all of a sudden, I hear a siren, 281 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,117 and I look in the rearview mirror 282 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,910 and there's a fire truck behind me, and I... 283 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,621 Wow, a fire! And I better get over to the side of the road. 284 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,415 Those guys are really in a hurry. 285 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,459 I pull over to the side of the road, and it... shwoo! Goes past me. 286 00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,546 And then I pull in here, and I see the fire truck. 287 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,048 Where's the fire? 288 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,134 - (fireman clears throat) - Larry: Where... 289 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,928 Where is the fire? 290 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,805 - We needed coffee. - Oh, oh. 291 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,182 - We don't do it often. - No. 292 00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,142 - Like, it's not a frequent thing. - Yeah, no. 293 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,144 You abused your siren. 294 00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,813 - Abused our siren? - You're siren abusers. 295 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:32,108 I completely get it. I had a handicapped placard once. 296 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,360 And I could only imagine what it's like to have a siren. 297 00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,446 'Cause that handicapped placard, that was fantastic. 298 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,573 Enjoy the coffee. 299 00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,658 Hey! 300 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,161 - Look at this. Joey Funkhouser. - Hey, Larry. 301 00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,495 - How you doing? - Larry: Hey. 302 00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:45,955 - So have you shown him the ropes? - Joey: Yeah. 303 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,498 - We're gettin' it down. Yeah. - Fast learner. 304 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,334 - Oh, yeah? - The only question I have is, 305 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,919 where's the, uh, the tip jar? 306 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,503 Oh, no. No tip jar. 307 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,422 - No tipping? - No, that's, that's demeaning. 308 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,257 It turns us into... beggars. 309 00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,843 - Yeah? You think? - Yeah. We might as well be outside with a, with a cup. 310 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,012 - Uh-oh. Know what happens now? - It's a-- What? 311 00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,597 - No. - (chuckles) 312 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,307 - Ah. Look at that, see? - Ah. (laughs) 313 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,017 Oh, boy. This, this is a big moment. 314 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,560 - Joey: That's it? - Leon: Oh, the big moment. Yes, indeed. 315 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,687 - Let's go to the back. To the storeroom? - Um-hmm. 316 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,105 - And get changed there. - Okay. Great. Right. 317 00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,982 Hey, as long as you're going to the storeroom, 318 00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:16,027 - show him how to charge the, uh, the self-heating cups. - Yes, indeed. 319 00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:19,072 I kind of talked Larry into putting up "no lamping" signs 320 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,449 all over the fuckin' place. People would stay too fucking long. 321 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,299 - Are you in line? - What? 322 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,427 - Are you in line for coffee? - Oh. N-No. No. 323 00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,596 Sorry, we haven't met, have we? 324 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,766 - No. Uh-uh. No. - Okay. 325 00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,810 No, we haven't. 326 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,408 Okay. I'm Alice. 327 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,785 Um, I'm... Buck. 328 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,079 - Nice to meet you, Buck. - Nice to meet you. 329 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,248 Leon: Hey, Larry! Where are the aprons? 330 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,749 They're behind the Purell! 331 00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,252 Leon: I can't find the fuckin' aprons! 332 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,462 Are you... Latte Larry? 333 00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:17,755 - Yes! - Oh. 334 00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,465 Buck's my nickname. That's what my friends call me. 335 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,759 How'd you get to Buck from Larry? 336 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,469 I like to watch a lot of Westerns. 337 00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:26,347 What's your favorite? 338 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,266 Blue Skies Over the Canyon. 339 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,476 Well, I just moved in the neighborhood, so... 340 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,854 - I'll see you around. - Oh, great. 341 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,773 Um, hi. Can I get a medium latte-- 342 00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:37,692 (continues indistinctly) 343 00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,652 Larry: You know, it's so crazy. 344 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:43,156 She's completely normal, but she just doesn't seem to remember... me, 345 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,324 or ever working for me, or anything to do with me. 346 00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:49,245 So she suffered memory loss from the choking on the scone? 347 00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,122 And that got me out of the lawsuit, the whole thing. 348 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:54,375 - (knocking on door) - Oh, that's Tara and Will. 349 00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,795 All: Hey! 350 00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:59,922 Oh, look, you're getting bigger every minute! 351 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,383 - I know, I know. - Oh, my God. I have to touch it. 352 00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,260 - (laughs) Please. - Come on in. 353 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,470 - Hello. - Tara: Hello. Hi. 354 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,180 I'm the Larry you've heard so much about. 355 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,806 - Tara: Oh. - Susie: Yes. 356 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,391 - Tara: It's so nice to finally meet you. - Hi. 357 00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,435 - How you doin'? Hi. - Will. 358 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,686 Larry: Will. 359 00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,730 - Any minute now, I think, huh? - Yeah. 360 00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:16,814 Yeah. Any minute. 361 00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:17,982 - Oh, boy. - Susie: Jesus. 362 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,650 You know, I impregnated somebody once. 363 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:20,985 - Will: Yeah? - Yeah. 364 00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,321 We broke up in the abortion clinic. 365 00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,323 - How about that? - Jeff: You've never told me that. 366 00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,116 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Jeff: Wow. 367 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,576 Just so you know, while you're here, 368 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,369 - I don't know how to deliver a baby. - Okay. 369 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,746 How do you, how do you induce labor? 370 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,414 Can you scare someone into labor? 371 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:34,832 - I don't know. - Larry: Is that possible? 372 00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,334 - I-- - Uh, maybe it's possible. 373 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,794 I think it's something we want to avoid. 374 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:38,920 Why would you wanna do that? 375 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,046 A baby should come 376 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,547 when it's naturally supposed to come. 377 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,049 Who needs Mr. Buttinski over here? 378 00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,009 It's a hypothetical. It's just a hypothetical. 379 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,678 Let's say you had a bet with a friend. 380 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,180 You see a pregnant woman who, uh-- 381 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,598 big pregnant woman walking down the street-- 382 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,558 you make a $50 bet with this friend, 383 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,143 that you can induce labor by scaring her. 384 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,020 You go into the bushes, she's walking down the street, 385 00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,522 and all of a sudden you jump out. Aah! 386 00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,732 - Uh, you in the bushes? - Yeah. 387 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,651 For 50 bucks you're going in the bushes? 388 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,778 Yeah, but it's hypothetical. See if you can induce labor. 389 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,404 Well, what happens if she goes into labor? 390 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,531 - Yeah, what happens if you win? - Susie: Yeah. 391 00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:07,865 I, I'd drive her to the hospital. 392 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,576 Okay, let's say you're driving her to the hospital, 393 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,620 and along the way to the hospital, 394 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,247 she starts giving birth 395 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,998 - in your car? - Well, that's a problem. 396 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,251 You gotta really think these hypotheticals out. 397 00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,877 'Cause they always end poorly. 398 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,212 Okay, I won't scare her. 399 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,588 - Jeff: Okay. - Susie: Yeah, thank you. 400 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,799 So, I'm so glad you guys finally came over. 401 00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,426 - Sorry we're late. - Yeah, that's-- that's on me. 402 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,846 I, you know, I refuse to look at the phone, and like, 403 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,556 I try and go off the watch. I forget, 404 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,057 and it always, like, runs a little late. 405 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,809 - Tara: Yeah, hard to guess it. - You can't get that fixed? 406 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,853 I've tried, but, you know, 407 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,397 - it always just, like, goes back, you know? - I know a guy who can fix that, 408 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,315 easily. He's, he's great. 409 00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,442 - You sure? - KL Jeweler, yeah. 410 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:44,861 - Oh, yeah? - Oh, really? 411 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,612 I drive by there every day. I can just bring it in. 412 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,739 - Ah, all right. Yeah. - That's so nice. 413 00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:49,949 I guarantee it. 414 00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,242 Yeah, it's my grandfather's watch. 415 00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,410 Gave it to me, like, right before he died. 416 00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,245 Oh, yeah? You should get it fixed. 417 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,830 And believe me, if anybody can fix it, 418 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,081 - it's this guy. He's great. - Tara: Oh, good. 419 00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,291 - Will: I appreciate that. - Susie: Aah! 420 00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,625 Where are my manners? 421 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,877 You want something to drink? 422 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,336 That would be great. I'm, I'm... 423 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,796 really craving ginger ale. 424 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,423 - Oh, we have ginger ale. Right, Jeff? - Tara: Do you? 425 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,342 I cannot stock up enough ginger ale. I love ginger ale. 426 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,553 Hey, how 'bout-- I'll get in on the ginger ale. 427 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,264 - You sure you got enough? - Oh, no, we have tons of ginger ale. 428 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,682 Susie: Two ginger ales, Jeffrey. 429 00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,225 - Thank you, Jeff. Thank you. - Thank you. 430 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,728 So, um, do you know the sex of the, of the child? 431 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,521 We're gonna have a little baby boy. 432 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,607 - Larry: A little baby boy. How about that? - Susie: Oh, so cute! Yeah. 433 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,776 Have you thought about the, um, the skin color at all? 434 00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,904 - I'm sorry? - Larry: You know. The tone? 435 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,448 Would you prefer it's, it's a, it's a little darker? 436 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,783 I would imagine you might prefer it to be a little darker, 437 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,243 as opposed to lighter, no? 438 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,995 Well, I mean, I've never even thought about it. 439 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,789 - Larry: Huh. - But, I guess like, darker, I guess. 440 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,625 - Larry: Yeah, I would think. Right? - What? 441 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:41,834 Yeah, that makes sense. 442 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,503 - (laughs) Uh, I... - What? 443 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,129 - You'd prefer him to be darker? - Prefer it-- 444 00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:46,923 I mean, if someone's asking me, like, if I had to choose, 445 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,382 - I'd say, like darker. - Why are you choosing? 446 00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,343 You'd probably like it a little lighter maybe, no? 447 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:52,803 Tara: No, I, I don't, I don't think 448 00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,514 I want my baby to be lighter. 449 00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,265 I haven't thought about that at all. 450 00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,975 - I'm surprised that you've thought about it. - Oh, yeah. 451 00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,269 I mean, well, I, I hadn't thought about it, 452 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,521 but asked the question, I mean-- 453 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,314 I know, but what you could have said, 454 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,607 I don't have a preference, 455 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,400 but you said you'd prefer him to be darker. 456 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:08,319 - You don't have a preference at all? - No, I don't have a preference. 457 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,196 Say somebody put a gun to your head. 458 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,990 Said, "Do you want you baby to be lighter or darker?" 459 00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,408 What would you choose? 460 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:17,078 Why is someone holding a gun to my head and asking me 461 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:20,331 - what shade I would prefer my son to be? - It's a hypothetical. 462 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,500 - I don't know, see-- - Why is somebody putting a gun to her head? 463 00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:25,044 He wants to-- He wants to find out what your preference is. 464 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,129 So you're walking down the street with Will, 465 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,090 and he snatches you into the backseat of the car, 466 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,341 and now he's got a gun to your head. 467 00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,218 "Do you want a lighter or a darker baby? 468 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,345 - What shade? What shade?" - Get away from me! 469 00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,763 What color is the guy holding the gun? 470 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,181 He's mocha. Right down the middle. 471 00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,766 - Right down the middle. - Fifty-fifty. 472 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,018 - Do you want it lighter or darker? - (stammers): I... 473 00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,604 I would say on the lighter side. 474 00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,940 - Ah. - Mm-hmm. See? 475 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,985 - So you have a preference. - But I had a gun to my head. 476 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,111 You didn't have a gun to your head. 477 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,404 We're sitting in a nice living room. 478 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,738 We're getting ginger ales. 479 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,532 Will: I'm proud to be black. I think you'd be 480 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,200 - proud to be black, too. - Oh, of course-- 481 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,493 Okay, I'm sorry. 482 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,328 - I don't feel-- - I'm not wrong. 483 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,205 - I don't feel good. Okay. - Okay. I'm-- 484 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,707 - I'm so sorry. - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 485 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,834 - Thank you. Nice to meet you. - Yeah. Thank you so much. 486 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,211 - Okay, thanks for coming. - Thank you very much for your hospitality. 487 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,879 - Sorry about all this. - Aw. 488 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:12,258 - Thanks for having us. - Larry: I'll get that watch fixed. 489 00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,803 What the fuck is the matter with you? 490 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,638 What? 491 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,807 Larry: Let me ask you something. 492 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:23,227 What is so hard about being a matador? I don't get it. 493 00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,062 - They have the cape, right? - Right. 494 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,897 The bull seems to run into the cape. 495 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,399 They don't run into the guy. 496 00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,526 - How hard is it to go like that? - Right. 497 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:31,902 - Ow. Aah. - Oh. 498 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,112 - It's right there. - Yeah. 499 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,196 Here's the deal. 500 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,741 You do have a tear in the meniscus. 501 00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,451 But it's the outer edge of the meniscus, 502 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,786 and that area will heal itself. 503 00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,080 I think some rest, some ice, 504 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:46,751 some ibuprofen. Uh, I'd put you on a PT course. 505 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,044 Physical therapy. You can come here, 506 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,754 or you can, um, have 'em come to your home. 507 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,547 - Whatever you'd like. Yeah. - What? 508 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,759 What a relief. I just was led to believe that I-- 509 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,218 I was gonna need surgery. 510 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,722 - Oh. Were we a second opinion? - Yeah. 511 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:03,434 Do you mind me asking who the, uh, other doctor is? 512 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,227 It's Dr. Seiderman. 513 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,604 Good doctor. 514 00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:07,813 Oh, you know him? 515 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,024 We've crossed paths a time or two. 516 00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,567 Yeah. 517 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,945 You are gonna tell the other doctor about me. 518 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:16,280 Yeah. I already did. 519 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:17,365 - Oh, you did? - Yeah. 520 00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:19,784 Did you mention me by name? 521 00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,453 - No. - Okay. 522 00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,622 (sighs) I don't know how I'm gonna tell him. 523 00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,541 (sighs) It's gotta be done. 524 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,544 (siren blaring) 525 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,718 No patient in there? 526 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,136 No. No patient. 527 00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,971 Just a lot of traffic. 528 00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:44,225 Really. So you just put the siren on? 529 00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,643 - Yeah. Mm-hmm. - Really? 530 00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,144 Another siren abuser. 531 00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,646 It's not abuse. I-- 532 00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,398 It's more of, it's more use. 533 00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:51,691 If word gets out 534 00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:53,818 that all of you people are just putting sirens on 535 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,319 to get to places faster, 536 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,780 nobody's gonna pull over to the side of the road anymore. 537 00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,573 And then you know what's gonna happen? 538 00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,492 You're gonna have some dead people. 539 00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,786 - Gotta get these inside, sir. - Ugh. Of course! 540 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,413 Enjoy your coffee. 541 00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,458 Uh... (clears throat) 542 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,670 According to this doctor, uh... 543 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:16,632 he said I didn't need to get the... surgery. 544 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:17,842 No surgery. 545 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,677 He said I just needed some physical therapy, 546 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,887 and some ibuprofen. 547 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:24,932 And everything will just magically return to, uh, to health, huh? 548 00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,643 - Yeah. - So, I think it's worth giving a shot, no? 549 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:28,936 - And, uh... - Yeah? 550 00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,187 ...who was the doctor? 551 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,189 Uh, Dr. Fuller. 552 00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,607 - Mark Fuller. - Yeah. 553 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,985 Hmm. Nice doctor. 554 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,319 Good energy. 555 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,238 I know how it goes. 556 00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,157 - Well, good luck with your, uh-- - Aw, come on. 557 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,284 Don't... don't be mad. Come on. 558 00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:44,869 Mad? I'm not mad. I'm just-- 559 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,871 You're... you're a little peeved. 560 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,664 Well, good luck in your journey, Larry. 561 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,583 And, uh, I wish you and your knee all the best. 562 00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,960 I have a few patients I need to see, so... 563 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,962 if you don't mind. 564 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,257 Okay, let's do the surgery. 565 00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,801 No. I'm not, I'm not doing the surgery, Larry. 566 00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,012 - What? Come on. Come on, we'll do the surgery. - I'm not doing-- 567 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,555 You'll get no surgery from me. 568 00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,807 Nothing. Nada. Not a stitch. Do you understand me? 569 00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:08,809 I don't want anything to do with you or your knee. 570 00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,561 - Come on, I said I'll get the surgery. - No! 571 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,062 - Let me just get the surgery. - There's no surgery. 572 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:13,814 - Don't be like that! I'm sorry! - Like what, Larry? No. 573 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,400 - Sorry's not good enough. - Why are you acting like such a baby? 574 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,652 I'm the baby? You're the one going around town getting a bunch of opinions! 575 00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,696 Okay, you know what? I don't need any more opinions, okay? 576 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,908 Just be on the record, though, that I said I'd get the surgery. 577 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,576 - It's on the record, Larry. Thank you. - You don't wanna give it to me. 578 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:27,077 You blew it! I don't know why I ever 579 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,204 went with you in the first place. 580 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,414 You sicken me! I'm leaving. 581 00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,082 Okay? And you'll regret it! 582 00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:35,294 Dominic will validate your parking at the front desk! 583 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:52,561 Hi. Welcome to MK-- 584 00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,604 Hey. 585 00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,606 - Larry. - Mila? 586 00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:56,899 - Yeah. - What are you doing? 587 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,317 - What is this? - This is my store. 588 00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,652 What do you mean, your store? 589 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:02,446 I opened up this store because of you. 590 00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:03,572 Get this, Larry. 591 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,492 KL Jewelers fucked me over. 592 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,160 I went in, I bought a watch. 593 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,371 I started wearing it, I started noticing I was late everywhere I went. 594 00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:12,456 I would go to like, a meeting, and I was, like, five minutes late. 595 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,875 So I walked in, I asked for a refund... 596 00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:16,418 They said no. 597 00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:17,753 Bastards. 598 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,630 So I said, "Fuck you, KL Jewelers," 599 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,216 and I opened up MK Jewelers. 600 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,134 Spite store, Larry. 601 00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:25,803 Because of you. 602 00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:27,137 I can't tell you how-- 603 00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:29,348 - how pleased I am to hear this. - Well, thank you. 604 00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:30,808 - Anyways, Larry! - Yeah. 605 00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,184 - All right. Yeah. - You came in here. What's up? 606 00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:34,228 - Well, I got this watch-- - Yeah. 607 00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:35,604 I was gonna bring it over there. 608 00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,189 - Gone now. - Gone now, huh? 609 00:22:37,273 --> 00:22:39,525 - What are you gonna do? - Here you go. 610 00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,360 Well, what do you want me to do? 611 00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:42,444 Fix it. 612 00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,113 Well, I don't-- I don't do that, Larry. 613 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,823 You can't fix the watch? 614 00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:48,367 No. Sorry. I'm just here for spite. 615 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,870 - Mm. - Yeah. 616 00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:52,746 Jeff: Will and Tara? 617 00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:55,165 Still not talking. Still not talking. 618 00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:57,293 - All because of me? - All because of you. 619 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,003 - Who cares what shade? - Yeah. 620 00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:01,422 What do you think, like, ten years down the road he's gonna go, 621 00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:03,507 "You know, he was never as dark as I wanted." 622 00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:05,342 - (laughing) - (chuckles) 623 00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:07,386 - You know that's never happening. - Yeah. 624 00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:09,430 Hey, you know what? I still have his watch. 625 00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:11,181 - You're kidding me. - No. 626 00:23:11,265 --> 00:23:13,100 I couldn't get it fixed. Look. 627 00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:15,269 So now you gotta carry that thing with you everywhere you go? 628 00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:17,354 - I gotta find a jeweler. - Oh, jeez. 629 00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:19,023 Hey, hey, fellas. 630 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,232 Oh, my God. 631 00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,276 Frank: You watch, uh, Channel 5 news? 632 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,904 Well, there's a real smokeshow who does the weather on there, 633 00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,488 and, uh, we had a date last night. 634 00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:30,034 Mm. Where'd you go, to the asylum where she's staying? 635 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:32,161 Go fuck yourself, Larry. 636 00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:36,165 I've never felt such antipathy towards a bald man in my life. 637 00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,543 - He's a shanda for the bald. - He's a shanda for the bald. 638 00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:42,504 (water running) 639 00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,423 I'll be right back. 640 00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:46,008 Larry: Aha! 641 00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:47,885 (chuckles) There's the water police. 642 00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:49,261 - Aha! - Right on cue. 643 00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:51,847 Larry: Look at this. Disrespecting the drought again. 644 00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:53,223 I'm, I'm about to shave. 645 00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:55,726 - Oh, boy. Oh, boy. - Like you, you... 646 00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:57,436 you'd need the hot water with the shaving. 647 00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,563 All right. Here's how you save water when you shave. 648 00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:01,565 - Yeah. Uh-huh. - You put the water on, 649 00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:03,776 you rinse the blade, and then you turn the water off. 650 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,945 - Right. - Then you, then you shave a little bit. 651 00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:07,738 - Yeah. - Then you put the water on again. 652 00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:09,740 You rinse it out, you turn it off. 653 00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:11,325 I appreciate the shaving lesson. 654 00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:12,785 - Is that how you do it? - That's how I do it, yeah. 655 00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:14,244 - All right, that'll be $10. - Yeah. 656 00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:15,746 You know, I think there are probably better ways 657 00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:17,498 to save water than following me around here. 658 00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:20,668 - You're right, Joey. You're 100 percent right. - Exactly. Okay. 659 00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:23,837 - (chuckles) - (water running) 660 00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:29,677 (toilet flushes) 661 00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:43,565 (Larry groans) 662 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,950 (indistinct chattering) 663 00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:54,827 Larry: So, um... 664 00:24:55,869 --> 00:24:58,706 I found my watch... (clicks tongue) 665 00:24:58,789 --> 00:25:00,541 ...on the ground. It's broken. 666 00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:03,127 I see that. That's, uh, that's too bad. 667 00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:05,796 Any idea what happened to it? 668 00:25:05,879 --> 00:25:08,340 - No. No idea. - Ah, uh-huh. 669 00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:11,677 - I'll tell you what I think, Joey. - Yeah? 670 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,596 I think you turned abruptly, your robe opened up, 671 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,223 and you knocked it over with your big penis. 672 00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:17,683 That's what I think happened. 673 00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:20,060 Okay, I'm sorry. I knocked it over. But it-- I just, 674 00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,312 I just turned around, and I, I hit it. 675 00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:24,314 - Okay. Okay. Okay. - I'm sorry, okay? 676 00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:27,818 But I, you know, I told you it's a tough thing to handle. 677 00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:29,319 Accidents happen, you know? 678 00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:30,863 - Accidents happen. Hey! - Yeah. 679 00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:32,281 - No worries. - Yeah. 680 00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,074 - No worries. And listen, Joey... - Yeah. 681 00:25:34,158 --> 00:25:37,036 - ...if you ever knock anything over again with your penis... - Yeah. 682 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:38,746 ...you can always come to me. 683 00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:40,748 Thank you. 684 00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,249 Okay. 685 00:25:44,168 --> 00:25:47,212 - And cinch that robe, Joey. - Okay, Larry. 686 00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:50,799 Uncle Freddy, the Robust, uh, Select, 687 00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:52,468 just the way you like it-- extra hot and sweet. 688 00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:54,053 You're tremendous. This is maybe 689 00:25:54,136 --> 00:25:55,679 the best I've ever had a coffee brought to me. 690 00:25:55,763 --> 00:25:57,598 - No. Come on. Thank you. - You're killing it, here. 691 00:25:57,681 --> 00:25:59,683 - Hey, Joey, do me a favor, will ya? - Yeah. Yeah. 692 00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:01,977 - I knocked over some beans in the storeroom. - Oh. 693 00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:03,979 - They're all over the floor. - Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 694 00:26:04,062 --> 00:26:05,439 - See you later. Okay. - You're killing it here. 695 00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:06,857 - Hey. - Hey. 696 00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:08,901 - He's doing a tremendous job. - Yeah, he's doing great. 697 00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:10,611 - Speaking of Joey. - Yeah. 698 00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:12,863 Knocked a watch off the bathroom counter 699 00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:15,157 with his, with his giant penis at the club. 700 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,993 Can't repair it. I knew that penis was gonna cause trouble. 701 00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:20,204 It was an accident, all right? Did he feel bad about it? 702 00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:21,580 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Well, that's all that matters. 703 00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:22,873 He's not used to moving around with it. 704 00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:24,333 - Yeah. Yeah. - I can only imagine. 705 00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:26,376 You gotta break some eggs to make an omelet, right? 706 00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:27,878 Gotta break a couple watches to... 707 00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:29,379 know how to handle a big cock. 708 00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:32,132 - Sure. - Anyway, you're terrific. Congratulations. 709 00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:34,092 See you, Freddy. 710 00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:39,598 - Hey! - Hi, Buck! 711 00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:41,725 Hi. Alice, right? 712 00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:43,227 - Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah. 713 00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:44,520 What can I do for you? 714 00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:46,563 Oh, I will have a cappuccino to go, please. 715 00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:48,732 All right. Joey will take it from here. 716 00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:50,609 Thank you. 717 00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:54,238 - Anything else? - Um, how are these? I've never had one before. 718 00:26:54,321 --> 00:26:56,365 - Joey: Oh, the scones? - Alice: The scone. Is it good? 719 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:57,866 Joey: Oh, I think they're great. 720 00:26:58,408 --> 00:26:59,827 - Joey: Mm. - Mm. 721 00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:10,170 - (Larry groaning) - (Alice choking) 722 00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,172 - Aah! - (body thuds) 723 00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:15,092 You! 724 00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:18,470 - You! - No! (stammering) 725 00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:21,181 Larry: No! I didn't do anything! 726 00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:29,439 Oh, my God. 727 00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:33,026 - Are you okay? - I think so. 728 00:27:34,403 --> 00:27:38,240 - I'm Mocha Joe. - I'm Alice. 729 00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:40,868 Why don't you come inside and sit down? I'll get you a cup of coffee. 730 00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:43,245 Okay. 731 00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,837 - Larry: Did you guys make up? - I mean, kind of. 732 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,380 It's been rough. 733 00:27:53,463 --> 00:27:55,757 - Yeah, we've been fighting. - Oh. So sorry. 734 00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:56,633 She's pissed at me. 735 00:27:56,717 --> 00:27:58,635 - Have a seat. - Here? 736 00:27:58,719 --> 00:27:59,887 Yeah. 737 00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:01,471 Will: You know, like, things you've said, 738 00:28:01,555 --> 00:28:02,931 it's not like you don't mean them, 739 00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:04,975 it's just the type of stuff you don't say. 740 00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:07,019 You don't wanna make her cry, 741 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:09,897 but at the same time, you're also not wrong, 742 00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:11,273 you know? 743 00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:12,858 Eh-- Are you okay? 744 00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,234 - Yeah. - Okay. 745 00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:16,278 And like, like, race is always gonna be an issue. 746 00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:19,156 - Like, it's a part of being in an interracial relationship. - Yeah, yeah, of course. 747 00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:21,658 Like, and then, having a baby is another-- 748 00:28:21,742 --> 00:28:24,620 - You good? - Yeah. What is this thing? It's like-- 749 00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:27,873 half-chair, half-couch. It's a like a furniture centaur. 750 00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:29,333 It's a daybed. 751 00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:31,418 I hope-- I... I never want to blame hormones, 752 00:28:31,501 --> 00:28:34,379 'cause then that's just like a typical overly masculine thing. 753 00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:37,257 - Just sit down! - Okay. 754 00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:40,052 (sighs) 755 00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:41,553 Oh, shoes okay over there? 756 00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:43,305 I'd rather you didn't. 757 00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:45,140 Thank you. 758 00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:46,558 Let me try that again. 759 00:28:46,642 --> 00:28:48,352 - (pillow thumps) - Oh, fuck. Okay. 760 00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:51,063 So, Larry, do you have my watch? 761 00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:53,190 - I'm assuming that's why you came over, yeah? - Yeah. 762 00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:54,900 So I brought it into KL Jeweler, 763 00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:56,777 like I told you I was going to, 764 00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,111 but it's closed up. 765 00:28:58,195 --> 00:28:59,947 A spite store took him out of business. 766 00:29:00,030 --> 00:29:02,991 - Mila Kunis! - These stupid spite stores. 767 00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:05,619 Do you at least have it, then, if you didn't get it fixed? 768 00:29:07,788 --> 00:29:09,122 There you go. 769 00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:12,709 - Larry, what the hell? - Larry: So sorry. 770 00:29:12,793 --> 00:29:14,461 What happened to this watch? 771 00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:19,257 The giant penis of a recent sex-change recipient 772 00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:21,843 - knocked it off the counter. - What? 773 00:29:21,927 --> 00:29:24,179 - I'm so sorry. - I should've never trusted you with this, 774 00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:26,390 but I did. You took it, and you got it broke. 775 00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:28,600 - That's your fault. - I'll take 50 percent of the blame. 776 00:29:28,684 --> 00:29:30,185 Fifty percent goes to that penis. 777 00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:32,562 Larry, this is an irreplaceable watch. 778 00:29:32,646 --> 00:29:34,606 - Yeah. - My grandfather gave-- Stop squirming! Please! 779 00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,900 - Sorry. - This is my grandfather's watch. I can't replace this. 780 00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:38,610 I was gonna give it to my son. 781 00:29:38,694 --> 00:29:42,030 Just get a comfortable spot and just stay there. 782 00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:43,407 - Okay. - (phone chimes) 783 00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:44,825 - Oh! - I'm so sorry. 784 00:29:44,908 --> 00:29:47,202 Oh, my God. Tara's having the baby. 785 00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:48,704 - What? - I, I gotta go. 786 00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,205 Oh, hey, I'll drive you. 787 00:29:57,462 --> 00:30:00,465 Uh, excuse me. Hey, uh, pardon me. 788 00:30:00,549 --> 00:30:01,967 My, my wife is having a baby. 789 00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:04,094 - I'm Will Cooper. - You're the husband. Come. 790 00:30:04,177 --> 00:30:06,471 She's been asking about you. Everything's fine. 791 00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:08,557 - Okay. - Larry: I'll be here. 792 00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,726 - I thought I recognized you. - Hey, Dr. Fuller. 793 00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:14,271 - How we doing, Larry? - Pretty good. Pretty good. Oh, my God. 794 00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:15,564 - The knee. - Yeah? 795 00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:17,065 It's, it's, it's like a miracle. 796 00:30:17,149 --> 00:30:18,275 So just the PT, yeah? 797 00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:20,110 PT. Some massage. Yeah. 798 00:30:20,193 --> 00:30:22,529 - Do you mind if I, I give it a squeeze? - No, please. 799 00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:27,200 - Yeah, it's just there's no swelling left. - Yeah. Amazing, right? 800 00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:29,911 Hi. How's it going? 801 00:30:29,995 --> 00:30:31,163 - Oh, boy. - Larry: Oh. 802 00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:32,622 - Hey. - Um... 803 00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:34,624 - Ben. - Dr. Fuller. 804 00:30:34,708 --> 00:30:36,918 - I know who it is. Yeah. - Oh. 805 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,796 - Just getting out of surgery? - Consultation, actually. 806 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,673 - Oh. Surprising. - Mm. 807 00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:44,051 What are you doing here, Larry? Gettin' a third opinion? 808 00:30:44,134 --> 00:30:46,094 - Fuller: Okay. - Oh, come on. Don't be like that. 809 00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:48,096 - Don't be like what? - He's getting around great. He's happy. 810 00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:49,890 - Oh, yeah? You feelin' good, Larry? - Yeah, I'm-- 811 00:30:49,973 --> 00:30:51,808 - Knees holding up? - Yeah, look. You know, 812 00:30:51,892 --> 00:30:54,519 - it's really good. Yeah. - Look at that. Yeah. We'll see if that lasts. 813 00:30:54,603 --> 00:30:55,812 - Yeah. - Um... 814 00:30:55,896 --> 00:30:57,564 - Hey. Uh, any of you guys know... - Yeah. 815 00:30:57,647 --> 00:31:00,150 ...where I can get a, uh, a watch fixed? 816 00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:01,943 Yeah, my brother-in-law owns a place on Pico. 817 00:31:02,027 --> 00:31:04,404 - Really? - He's the best in the business. Thirty years' experience. 818 00:31:04,488 --> 00:31:05,739 What do you, what do you think? 819 00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:08,867 - I actually have a guy, too. - What? What do-- 820 00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:10,952 You think this dipshit knows a better watch repairman 821 00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:14,164 - It's always so competitive with you. - 30 years of experience on Pico! 822 00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:15,415 You know a better guy than that? 823 00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:17,000 I know three guys better than Goldblatt! 824 00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:20,253 - Thirty years on Pico! - The guy breaks watches for a living! 825 00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:21,755 - What do you know? - Unbelievable! 826 00:31:21,838 --> 00:31:23,423 He's the best in the business! 827 00:31:23,507 --> 00:31:25,926 Mocha Joe: You worked for Larry David? 828 00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:28,470 Yeah. Um... 829 00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:30,055 Yeah, for a little bit, and... 830 00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:32,557 You know, he was just so, like, weird and awful. 831 00:31:32,641 --> 00:31:35,227 He was pervy about-- I have this tattoo here, and... 832 00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,521 he would always grab my hand, and ask me what it meant... 833 00:31:37,604 --> 00:31:40,941 Mocha Joe: It's just the hand of Buddha, with the Eye of Providence. 834 00:31:41,608 --> 00:31:43,610 Oh, my gosh. Yeah, exactly. 835 00:31:43,693 --> 00:31:45,904 Yeah, well... Sorry, I'm just like-- 836 00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:47,864 It's all kind of coming back to me, 837 00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:51,034 'cause I had a bite of his scone, it was like, crumbly and dry, 838 00:31:51,118 --> 00:31:52,536 and it got caught in my throat. 839 00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:54,037 They're terrible. That's a scone. 840 00:31:54,121 --> 00:31:56,123 - I can't wait for you to try it. - Okay. 841 00:31:57,124 --> 00:31:59,126 Oh, my gosh. That's so moist. 842 00:31:59,209 --> 00:32:00,710 - Right? It's supposed to be moist. - Yeah. 843 00:32:00,794 --> 00:32:02,379 This whole thing with the dry scone, it drives me crazy. 844 00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:04,297 - This is really good. - (chuckles) 845 00:32:04,381 --> 00:32:07,384 You think Larry David knows anything about making a scone like that? 846 00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:09,719 I'm sorry. Uh, did you say Larry David? 847 00:32:09,803 --> 00:32:11,096 Yeah, why? You know him? 848 00:32:11,179 --> 00:32:13,557 - He's an asshole, right? - One of the biggest. 849 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:14,975 Pull up a chair. 850 00:32:15,976 --> 00:32:17,477 So. How do you know Larry? 851 00:32:17,561 --> 00:32:21,189 Uh, from the club. But we do not get along at all. 852 00:32:21,273 --> 00:32:22,691 Mocha Joe: Welcome aboard. 853 00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:24,651 - Oh, my God. - Mocha Joe: What's wrong? 854 00:32:24,734 --> 00:32:28,155 I just remembered I was gonna sue him for sexual harassment. 855 00:32:28,238 --> 00:32:30,157 Mocha Joe: What? 856 00:32:31,992 --> 00:32:34,161 - (baby coos) - He's perfect. 857 00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:35,996 - He's absolutely... - He's so-- 858 00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:37,747 Hey, hey, hey. 859 00:32:37,831 --> 00:32:39,583 - Hey, hey, hey, hey. - Hey. 860 00:32:39,666 --> 00:32:42,085 Look, aw, look at-- This is so exciting! 861 00:32:42,169 --> 00:32:44,421 - Larry, uh, drove me. - Oh. 862 00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:46,756 He was a complete mess. He never would have made it. 863 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,301 - Thank you for driving me. - Thank you. We appreciate that. Thank you. 864 00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:51,094 Larry: Yeah. Very cute. 865 00:32:51,178 --> 00:32:52,554 - Tara: Oh, thank you. - What's his name? 866 00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:54,264 - It's Kwame. - It's Kwame. 867 00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:55,432 - Kwame. - Mm-hmm. 868 00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:56,391 Nice name. 869 00:32:56,474 --> 00:32:57,767 - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. 870 00:32:57,851 --> 00:32:59,060 - I think so, too. - Yeah. 871 00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:01,813 A little-- A little light for a Kwame, no? 872 00:33:01,897 --> 00:33:04,149 - What? - A lot of names to pick, but-- 873 00:33:04,232 --> 00:33:05,650 If he was a little darker, maybe. 874 00:33:05,734 --> 00:33:08,028 - Yeah, can you go, please? - You need to get out. 875 00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:10,697 - Thanks. Thank you for... Shh, shh! - (Kwame fussing) 876 00:33:11,448 --> 00:33:13,283 Hey, any of you guys want ginger ale? 877 00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:15,202 - Larry, get the fuck out. - (whispers): Got it. 878 00:33:16,328 --> 00:33:18,622 You guys have a good night. 879 00:33:18,705 --> 00:33:21,541 You know, if you wanna take off, I can close up. 880 00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:22,834 - Really? - Yeah. 881 00:33:22,918 --> 00:33:25,128 - You know how to do it? - Yeah. Charge the cups, 882 00:33:25,212 --> 00:33:26,963 turn off the lights, lock the doors. 883 00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:29,507 That's the one I always forget. Lock the fuckin' door. 884 00:33:29,591 --> 00:33:31,676 Hey. We got that big Johnson meeting tomorrow. 885 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,595 - Okay. Thanks. - Leon: Don't forget. 886 00:33:37,557 --> 00:33:40,519 - Pfft. - (Leon harrumphs) 887 00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:57,911 - (soft smack) - (cup thuds) 888 00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:02,624 (door closes) 889 00:34:06,503 --> 00:34:08,755 (beeping) 890 00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:10,632 (flames whoosh) 891 00:34:16,263 --> 00:34:18,807 - (siren blaring) - Larry: Oh. 892 00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:22,978 - (fire truck honks) - Oh. Oh, really? 893 00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:26,481 I'm on to you. It's not gonna happen. 894 00:34:27,774 --> 00:34:29,859 (horn blares) 895 00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:33,071 Abuse that siren all you want. I'm not pulling over. 896 00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,448 (flames roaring) 897 00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:38,994 (siren wailing) 898 00:34:41,037 --> 00:34:42,998 - (horn blaring) - (inaudible) 899 00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:45,250 You guys make me sick! 900 00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:48,378 (flames roaring) 901 00:34:48,461 --> 00:34:50,380 (clattering) 902 00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:52,632 (siren wailing) 903 00:34:55,468 --> 00:34:58,930 (flames whooshing) 904 00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:02,267 Yeah, uh-huh. 905 00:35:02,350 --> 00:35:05,770 (horn blaring) 906 00:35:05,854 --> 00:35:08,315 Good luck! Enjoy the coffee! 907 00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:17,365 Fireman: Get a line on that fire! 908 00:35:19,075 --> 00:35:21,578 Excuse me, sir. You can't be this close. It's not safe. 909 00:35:21,661 --> 00:35:23,246 No, no. It's my store! 910 00:35:23,330 --> 00:35:25,415 - Oh, jeez, I'm sorry. - What the hell? What, what happened? 911 00:35:25,498 --> 00:35:27,792 We won't know until we've got it under containment. 912 00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:30,003 I just wish we would have gotten here sooner. 913 00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:32,756 Some asshole didn't respect the siren. 914 00:35:32,839 --> 00:35:36,051 Hey! Let's get a ladder up and ventilate the roof. 915 00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:40,096 Mocha Joe: No! No! What happened? 916 00:35:40,180 --> 00:35:41,264 Mocha Joe's! 917 00:35:41,348 --> 00:35:42,807 - What did you do? - I didn't do anything. 918 00:35:42,891 --> 00:35:44,768 - What did you do? - Hey, look, my store's burning, too! 919 00:35:44,851 --> 00:35:46,686 What do you think I did? You think I burned my store down? 920 00:35:46,770 --> 00:35:47,937 First you open up a spite store, 921 00:35:48,021 --> 00:35:50,106 and then you burn my store down? Huh? 922 00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:51,483 I'm gonna sue you. 923 00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:53,777 I'm gonna sue you for everything you got. 924 00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:55,528 When I get through with you, you'll be broke! 925 00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:58,114 - But I didn't do it! - Oh, I don't give a shit if you did it or not! 926 00:35:58,198 --> 00:36:01,159 We'll let the judge decide! You hear me? 927 00:36:01,242 --> 00:36:04,412 - (exploding) - (glass shattering) 928 00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:11,628 (indistinct radio chattering) 929 00:36:11,711 --> 00:36:13,630 Sorry about your place. 930 00:36:13,713 --> 00:36:15,674 (scoffs) Unbelievable, huh? 931 00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:17,175 We did the best we could. 932 00:36:17,258 --> 00:36:18,802 Tried to break one of the windows out, 933 00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:20,261 get some more hoses in there, but... 934 00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:21,888 all the tables were bolted to the floor. 935 00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:24,307 Yeah, that's to prevent the table from wobbling. 936 00:36:24,391 --> 00:36:25,934 Oh, you, you did that yourself? 937 00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,560 Yeah, I don't like wobbly tables. 938 00:36:27,644 --> 00:36:29,270 And you had Purell on every table, 939 00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:30,563 which is an accelerant. 940 00:36:30,647 --> 00:36:32,565 People love the Purell. 941 00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:34,359 And the tables that didn't wobble. 942 00:36:34,442 --> 00:36:35,860 Normally in this situation, 943 00:36:35,944 --> 00:36:38,655 if we can't break the windows to get more hoses in, 944 00:36:38,738 --> 00:36:40,365 we'd access the water from the toilets, 945 00:36:40,448 --> 00:36:41,908 but we couldn't find them. 946 00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:44,244 - Yeah, there are no toilets. - What? 947 00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:46,246 Coffee's a diuretic, and you don't have toilets? 948 00:36:46,329 --> 00:36:48,581 Yeah, I didn't want any defecating in the store. 949 00:36:48,665 --> 00:36:49,749 We had urinals. 950 00:36:49,833 --> 00:36:51,543 Where? I looked in there. 951 00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:54,170 Oh, no. You gotta press the button. That opens up a chute. 952 00:36:54,254 --> 00:36:56,715 - What, like a secret compartment? - Yeah, kinda. 953 00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:59,801 And, uh, the ladies, they, they hang from a bar. 954 00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:02,887 - Yeah. - I don't get it. I don't get anything with this place. 955 00:37:02,971 --> 00:37:04,806 Any idea how this started? 956 00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,434 Yeah, it looks like it started in the storeroom. 957 00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:11,104 Someone knocked one of these self-heating cups off a shelf, 958 00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:13,690 it hit some papers, turned on, 959 00:37:13,773 --> 00:37:16,109 heated up and ignited the papers. 960 00:37:17,944 --> 00:37:19,154 Joey. 961 00:37:20,029 --> 00:37:23,032 I knew that big penis was nothing but trouble. 962 00:37:23,116 --> 00:37:24,492 I'm sorry, what? 963 00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,162 I knew that big penis was nothing but trouble. 964 00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:28,455 Okay, I guess I heard what you said. 965 00:37:28,538 --> 00:37:30,123 I don't know what you're talking about. 966 00:37:30,206 --> 00:37:32,375 Nah, it's a long story. 967 00:37:32,459 --> 00:37:36,337 Anyway, if I was trying to tell someone how to burn a place down, 968 00:37:36,421 --> 00:37:39,758 I would suggest every step you took in your business. 969 00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:42,385 So they're probably gonna investigate you. 970 00:37:42,469 --> 00:37:45,513 You did so many stupid things, it looks like arson. 971 00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:47,140 Arson? 972 00:37:56,816 --> 00:37:59,486 (distant music playing) 973 00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:10,872 - (festive music playing) - (lively chattering) 974 00:38:18,505 --> 00:38:21,257 Mocha Joe: Hey, Larry! Look! It's Larry David! 975 00:38:21,341 --> 00:38:22,634 Hi, Larry. 976 00:38:22,717 --> 00:38:23,676 Mocha Joe: I'm glad you're here. 977 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:24,886 You know, we never got a chance 978 00:38:24,969 --> 00:38:25,929 to thank you for the house. 979 00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:27,680 I mean, we love it. We really do. 980 00:38:27,764 --> 00:38:29,766 I mean, if it wasn't for the insurance money, 981 00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:32,310 - and the lawsuit settlements-- - Hey, you know what? 982 00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:34,395 It's customary when people have a party 983 00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:36,439 to inform your neighbors as a courtesy. 984 00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:39,067 Right, right. You're 100 percent right. I'm sorry. 985 00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:41,611 Hey, Larry. We're having a party. 986 00:38:41,694 --> 00:38:43,947 - Oh, we're having one next week, too. - That's right. 987 00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:46,449 - What are we having? What are we having? - We're having a luau. 988 00:38:46,533 --> 00:38:48,243 - Mocha Joe: A luau! - Alice: Isn't that right, Bogie? 989 00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:52,163 You know why? Because that's what spite houses are for! 990 00:38:52,872 --> 00:38:55,583 (theme music playing) 991 00:39:00,713 --> 00:39:03,716 (lively chattering continuing) 992 00:39:05,593 --> 00:39:12,642 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com