1
00:00:02,264 --> 00:00:05,553
A simile directly compares two things,
2
00:00:05,554 --> 00:00:08,343
using the words "like" and "as."
3
00:00:08,344 --> 00:00:10,383
"I slept like a log."
4
00:00:10,384 --> 00:00:12,723
"I'm hungry as a horse."
5
00:00:12,724 --> 00:00:14,933
"Your love is like bad medicine."
6
00:00:14,934 --> 00:00:16,093
Exactly.
7
00:00:16,094 --> 00:00:17,383
That's Bon Jovi.
8
00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:19,013
Okay.
9
00:00:19,014 --> 00:00:20,593
His hair is awesome.
10
00:00:20,594 --> 00:00:21,992
Moving on.
11
00:00:21,995 --> 00:00:25,593
Metaphors are different from similes.
12
00:00:25,594 --> 00:00:27,013
[SNEEZES]
13
00:00:27,014 --> 00:00:30,093
ADULT SHELDON: I've been
called a germophobe,
14
00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:33,226
but I do find a single
sneeze acceptable.
15
00:00:33,229 --> 00:00:35,812
It could be caused by dust, allergies...
16
00:00:35,815 --> 00:00:38,814
Really, whatever nasal
irritant floats your boat.
17
00:00:38,817 --> 00:00:40,789
However...
18
00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:43,042
during flu season...
19
00:00:46,075 --> 00:00:48,715
a second sneeze means a
plague is upon the land,
20
00:00:48,718 --> 00:00:50,378
and it's every man for himself.
21
00:00:52,114 --> 00:00:54,113
Where do you think you're going?
22
00:00:54,116 --> 00:00:55,445
Away from you.
23
00:00:55,448 --> 00:00:56,531
Why's that?
24
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,203
I want to live.
25
00:00:58,206 --> 00:01:01,035
I'm not sick. Get back in your seat.
26
00:01:01,038 --> 00:01:02,537
No, thank you.
27
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,468
You know the rules.
28
00:01:04,471 --> 00:01:06,390
You can't leave without a hall pass.
29
00:01:06,393 --> 00:01:08,531
May I have a hall pass?
30
00:01:08,534 --> 00:01:09,981
No, you may not.
31
00:01:09,984 --> 00:01:11,943
Now get back in your seat.
32
00:01:11,946 --> 00:01:14,649
ADULT SHELDON: Rules are
the pillars of society.
33
00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:15,819
I love rules.
34
00:01:15,820 --> 00:01:18,070
But what benefit are
rules to a dead man?
35
00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,689
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
36
00:01:22,690 --> 00:01:25,479
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
37
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,979
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
38
00:01:27,980 --> 00:01:30,911
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
39
00:01:30,914 --> 00:01:37,382
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
40
00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:44,979
Excuse me.
41
00:01:44,980 --> 00:01:47,609
Do I look like I'm getting sick to you?
42
00:01:47,610 --> 00:01:50,019
You look a little pale.
43
00:01:50,020 --> 00:01:52,569
Okay, good, that's normal.
44
00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:56,189
Now, I understand Sheldon
is an exceptional child,
45
00:01:56,190 --> 00:01:57,519
all right, but when he
46
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,399
willfully disobeys
the order of a teacher,
47
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,590
there needs to be
some consequences here.
48
00:02:01,593 --> 00:02:03,847
Oh, we couldn't agree more.
49
00:02:03,850 --> 00:02:05,582
What kind of punishment
are you thinking?
50
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:09,109
Well, Mary, in a case like
this, a few days of detention.
51
00:02:09,110 --> 00:02:11,069
Really? That seems a little harsh.
52
00:02:11,070 --> 00:02:13,149
Oh, detention's no big deal.
53
00:02:13,150 --> 00:02:16,819
Now, my principal used to
whup my ass with a paddle.
54
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:18,149
That got my attention.
55
00:02:18,150 --> 00:02:21,147
Oh, yeah. Those were the days.
56
00:02:21,150 --> 00:02:23,569
Still have mine.
57
00:02:23,570 --> 00:02:27,155
Ah.
58
00:02:27,158 --> 00:02:28,832
Ol' Spanky.
59
00:02:28,835 --> 00:02:30,519
[CHUCKLES]: Whoa.
60
00:02:30,522 --> 00:02:33,641
- Got a real nice grip on that thing.
- Yeah, George.
61
00:02:33,644 --> 00:02:36,590
Had the equipment manager over
at the Astros make this for me.
62
00:02:36,593 --> 00:02:38,819
The holes in it...
63
00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:40,910
cut down on wind resistance.
64
00:02:40,913 --> 00:02:42,171
Smart.
65
00:02:42,174 --> 00:02:45,035
But these days you have
to have a consent form
66
00:02:45,038 --> 00:02:46,689
to whack the kids.
67
00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:49,689
I don't know where this world's headed.
68
00:02:49,690 --> 00:02:52,632
You ought to get one of those
for when Georgie acts up.
69
00:02:52,635 --> 00:02:54,984
Like you never thought
about going upside his head
70
00:02:54,987 --> 00:02:56,367
with a slab of wood.
71
00:02:57,642 --> 00:03:00,642
You know, there was a time
this thing gave me tennis elbow.
72
00:03:04,020 --> 00:03:05,360
[SNEEZES]
73
00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:12,020
[CONTINUES BLOWING NOSE]
74
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:17,439
Okay, Sheldon, come o...
75
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,671
Where'd he go?
76
00:03:19,674 --> 00:03:20,963
Thataway.
77
00:03:20,966 --> 00:03:22,229
♪ ♪
78
00:03:22,230 --> 00:03:23,359
[SNEEZES]
79
00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,109
[COUGHING]
80
00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:28,280
[SNEEZING AND COUGHING CONTINUE]
81
00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:37,279
♪ Well, I'm running ♪
82
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,179
♪ Police on my back ♪
83
00:03:39,182 --> 00:03:40,477
♪ I've been hiding ♪
84
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,340
- ♪ Police on my back ♪
- [GRUNTING]
85
00:03:42,343 --> 00:03:44,225
♪ There was a shooting ♪
86
00:03:44,228 --> 00:03:45,597
♪ Police on my back ♪
87
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,189
♪ And the victim ♪
88
00:03:47,192 --> 00:03:48,939
♪ Well, he won't come back ♪
89
00:03:48,940 --> 00:03:50,804
What you doing, kid?!
90
00:03:50,807 --> 00:03:52,650
- ♪ Tuesday, Wednesday ♪
- [GRUNTING]
91
00:03:52,653 --> 00:03:55,543
♪ Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday ♪
92
00:03:55,546 --> 00:03:56,689
[GRUNTING]
93
00:03:56,690 --> 00:03:58,819
ADULT SHELDON: Enjoy this. It is, by far,
94
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,569
the most athletic two
minutes of my entire life.
95
00:04:01,570 --> 00:04:03,350
♪ What have I done? ♪
96
00:04:04,570 --> 00:04:07,899
♪ What have I done? ♪
97
00:04:07,902 --> 00:04:09,433
[MEEMAW LAUGHING]
98
00:04:09,436 --> 00:04:10,859
It's not funny.
99
00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:12,189
Oh, come on, now.
100
00:04:12,190 --> 00:04:15,189
Sheldon in detention... That's funny.
101
00:04:15,190 --> 00:04:17,225
I actually think it'd be good for him.
102
00:04:17,228 --> 00:04:19,189
He needs to learn he's not special.
103
00:04:19,190 --> 00:04:20,890
But he is special.
104
00:04:20,893 --> 00:04:22,897
You know what I mean. He can't just
105
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,069
walk out of a classroom
'cause he feels like it.
106
00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:26,676
He was worried about catching a cold.
107
00:04:26,679 --> 00:04:28,479
That is a legitimate concern.
108
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,637
And now he's in danger of being mugged
109
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,819
by a roomful of hoodlums.
110
00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:34,640
He's not getting mugged.
111
00:04:34,643 --> 00:04:36,603
It's half a dozen kids doing homework
112
00:04:36,606 --> 00:04:38,105
while a teacher watches 'em.
113
00:04:38,108 --> 00:04:40,582
Although it might not hurt
to give Sheldon a few dollars
114
00:04:40,585 --> 00:04:42,230
to buy himself some protection.
115
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:45,150
That's actually not a bad idea.
116
00:04:50,570 --> 00:04:52,819
[GRUNTS, COUGHS]
117
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:54,043
What are you doing?
118
00:04:54,046 --> 00:04:55,399
Nothing.
119
00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:57,899
Is that chewing tobacco?
120
00:04:57,900 --> 00:05:00,229
It's chocolate Bazooka.
What do you want?
121
00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:02,189
I have detention tomorrow,
122
00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:04,359
and I thought you
could give me some tips.
123
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,149
That was pretty badass, you
walking out of class like that.
124
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:10,722
It was not my intention to be
bad "A" word, but thank you.
125
00:05:10,725 --> 00:05:13,629
The only thing you need
to worry about in detention
126
00:05:13,632 --> 00:05:15,279
is staying close to the teacher.
127
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,819
If he leaves the room, you go with him.
128
00:05:17,820 --> 00:05:19,319
Why?
129
00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,819
'Cause you're gonna get
your "A" word kicked.
130
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:25,149
Are you saying I'll
be in physical danger?
131
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:26,985
It's all the worst kids in school
132
00:05:26,988 --> 00:05:28,676
in one room for an hour.
133
00:05:28,679 --> 00:05:30,663
What do you think's gonna happen?
134
00:05:30,666 --> 00:05:33,472
I thought we were gonna spend
the time regretting our actions
135
00:05:33,475 --> 00:05:36,359
and thinking about how we
could be better in the future.
136
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,738
Well, you thought wrong. Get lost.
137
00:05:38,741 --> 00:05:41,402
You're both mean and nice to me.
138
00:05:41,405 --> 00:05:43,320
It's confusing.
139
00:05:47,190 --> 00:05:49,218
[GAGS]
140
00:05:51,564 --> 00:05:54,023
Maybe I'm doing this wrong.
141
00:05:54,026 --> 00:05:56,026
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
142
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:01,725
Have you ever been in detention?
143
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:02,897
No.
144
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:05,107
But I do take the school bus.
145
00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:07,149
And that is no party.
146
00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:09,729
It's like a mental hospital on wheels.
147
00:06:09,730 --> 00:06:12,229
That's a good use of simile.
148
00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:13,439
Thanks.
149
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,171
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
150
00:06:19,468 --> 00:06:20,691
I hope.
151
00:06:20,694 --> 00:06:21,779
[DOOR CLOSES]
152
00:06:21,780 --> 00:06:23,860
- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
- [FOOTSTEPS RAPIDLY DEPARTING]
153
00:06:31,020 --> 00:06:34,729
Hello. I'm here for detention.
154
00:06:34,730 --> 00:06:36,859
Where is the teacher?
155
00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:39,858
Not here yet.
156
00:06:39,861 --> 00:06:41,491
Oh.
157
00:06:46,780 --> 00:06:48,530
I have three dollars.
158
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,373
Feel free to share it with the others.
159
00:06:58,749 --> 00:07:00,458
Would you prefer a piece of paper?
160
00:07:00,461 --> 00:07:02,195
I have some in my briefcase.
161
00:07:03,932 --> 00:07:05,811
It's here if you change your mind.
162
00:07:05,814 --> 00:07:08,171
All right, losers, you
know how this works.
163
00:07:08,174 --> 00:07:10,709
One hour, no talking, no horseplay.
164
00:07:10,710 --> 00:07:12,117
Sheldon?
165
00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:13,709
Hello, Mr. Givens.
166
00:07:13,710 --> 00:07:14,960
Why are you here?
167
00:07:14,963 --> 00:07:17,419
I didn't want to catch
a cold from Ms. MacElroy,
168
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:20,101
so I left her classroom
without a hall pass.
169
00:07:20,104 --> 00:07:22,379
Well, something is going around.
170
00:07:22,380 --> 00:07:24,918
I actually had a little
tickle in my throat.
171
00:07:24,921 --> 00:07:27,499
Okay, time to go. Nice meeting you.
172
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:28,919
Whoa, what-what are you doing?
173
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,709
You've heard of fight or flight?
174
00:07:30,710 --> 00:07:32,031
This is flight.
175
00:07:34,701 --> 00:07:36,700
Not so funny now, is it?
176
00:07:36,703 --> 00:07:39,059
No. How long is he suspended for?
177
00:07:39,062 --> 00:07:40,184
A week.
178
00:07:40,187 --> 00:07:42,179
And it goes on his permanent record.
179
00:07:42,182 --> 00:07:43,828
Well, that's no big deal.
180
00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:47,209
I had all kinds of stuff on my
permanent high school record.
181
00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:50,609
Didn't stop me from being
a bartender for eight years.
182
00:07:50,612 --> 00:07:53,640
I think the real issue we need
to deal with is his germ phobia.
183
00:07:53,643 --> 00:07:54,726
Oh, yes, you don't
184
00:07:54,729 --> 00:07:56,459
want him turning into Howard Hughes.
185
00:07:56,460 --> 00:07:58,379
Growing his nails out.
186
00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:00,379
Peeing in a jar.
187
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,855
Why would he pee into a jar?
188
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,329
I don't know why he peed in a jar,
189
00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:05,209
I just know he did.
190
00:08:05,210 --> 00:08:06,906
[SIGHS] I hate to say it,
191
00:08:06,909 --> 00:08:08,828
but I think we need help with this.
192
00:08:08,831 --> 00:08:09,730
Like what?
193
00:08:09,731 --> 00:08:10,459
Maybe we could
194
00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:12,890
take him to that nice
doctor who calmed him down
195
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:15,182
when he was convinced he
had an enlarged prostate?
196
00:08:15,185 --> 00:08:16,824
Sheldon only calmed down
when the doctor told him
197
00:08:16,826 --> 00:08:18,937
what happens in a prostate exam.
198
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:20,319
Poor thing.
199
00:08:20,322 --> 00:08:21,573
Still talks about it.
200
00:08:25,174 --> 00:08:27,187
Thank you for seeing us, Doctor.
201
00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:28,624
No problem.
202
00:08:28,627 --> 00:08:31,709
So, what do you got today, Sheldon?
203
00:08:31,710 --> 00:08:33,916
Rickets? Rabies?
204
00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:35,968
Early-onset menopause?
205
00:08:35,971 --> 00:08:38,007
Is he making a joke?
206
00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,289
I believe so.
207
00:08:39,290 --> 00:08:40,315
Humorous.
208
00:08:40,318 --> 00:08:41,260
Hmm.
209
00:08:41,263 --> 00:08:42,564
Sheldon's not sick,
210
00:08:42,567 --> 00:08:45,316
but he has become overly
concerned with getting a cold
211
00:08:45,319 --> 00:08:46,234
or the flu.
212
00:08:46,237 --> 00:08:47,647
Well, any symptoms...
213
00:08:47,650 --> 00:08:49,327
Runny nose, achy,
214
00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:50,663
sore throat, fever?
215
00:08:50,666 --> 00:08:51,579
No.
216
00:08:51,580 --> 00:08:54,749
All right, well, Sheldon,
if you do catch a cold,
217
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:58,329
or even the flu, it's...
it's not the end of the world.
218
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:01,484
The flu was the end of the world
for half a million Americans
219
00:09:01,487 --> 00:09:04,320
during the influenza epidemic of 1918.
220
00:09:04,323 --> 00:09:05,968
- Really?
- In India
221
00:09:05,971 --> 00:09:07,916
17 million people died.
222
00:09:07,919 --> 00:09:10,419
Okay, I think we're getting
off the subject. Doctor,
223
00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:12,119
Sheldon is afraid to go to school
224
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:13,249
because he might get exposed
225
00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:15,830
to some kind of bacteria or virus.
226
00:09:15,833 --> 00:09:17,979
So he's got a phobia?
227
00:09:17,982 --> 00:09:20,247
It's not a phobia if the threat is real.
228
00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:22,170
You're a doctor, you should know that.
229
00:09:22,173 --> 00:09:26,287
Sheldon, you have
nothing to worry about.
230
00:09:26,290 --> 00:09:28,169
Even if you did get the flu,
231
00:09:28,170 --> 00:09:30,119
it's usually over in a week.
232
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,479
Why are we getting medical
advice from a man who smokes?
233
00:09:33,482 --> 00:09:34,991
- Sheldon.
- O-Okay,
234
00:09:34,994 --> 00:09:37,877
I have patients who are actually sick.
235
00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:39,854
Maybe we should wrap this up.
236
00:09:39,857 --> 00:09:42,065
How come you don't
get sick all the time?
237
00:09:42,068 --> 00:09:43,924
Well, I take precautions.
238
00:09:43,927 --> 00:09:46,971
I wash my hands, I
wear gloves and a mask.
239
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,960
So, Mom, how was your day?
240
00:10:03,157 --> 00:10:05,156
We're ignoring this?
241
00:10:05,159 --> 00:10:06,674
Okay.
242
00:10:16,290 --> 00:10:18,419
So pretty.
243
00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:20,289
What's going on?
244
00:10:20,290 --> 00:10:22,749
I'm not feeling so good.
245
00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:24,209
[COUGHS LOUDLY]
246
00:10:24,210 --> 00:10:26,500
Biohazard! Biohazard!
247
00:10:27,540 --> 00:10:29,419
Sucker.
248
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,979
WOMAN [ON TV]: In national news,
249
00:10:30,982 --> 00:10:35,088
an unusually early flu season
is buffeting the country.
250
00:10:35,091 --> 00:10:38,207
Doctors say the strain,
originating in China,
251
00:10:38,210 --> 00:10:40,669
is particularly severe.
252
00:10:40,670 --> 00:10:45,034
Children and the
elderly are most at risk.
253
00:10:45,037 --> 00:10:47,246
Sheldon, why are you still up?
254
00:10:47,249 --> 00:10:49,330
We're all gonna die!
255
00:10:49,333 --> 00:10:50,776
About the local cattle...
256
00:10:50,779 --> 00:10:52,117
This isn't funny!
257
00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,577
I know, baby, I know.
258
00:10:54,580 --> 00:10:58,289
But you need to
understand that sometimes
259
00:10:58,290 --> 00:11:00,619
the news says those things
just to scare people.
260
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:02,080
Well, it's working!
261
00:11:02,083 --> 00:11:03,204
Come here.
262
00:11:03,207 --> 00:11:04,756
I know you don't believe in this,
263
00:11:04,759 --> 00:11:06,588
but I'm gonna do it anyway.
264
00:11:06,591 --> 00:11:08,377
[SIGHS]
265
00:11:08,380 --> 00:11:11,499
Lord, I pray for my son Sheldon
266
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:14,398
that you protect him from
all illness and disease,
267
00:11:14,401 --> 00:11:17,209
and keep him healthy and keep him safe,
268
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:20,249
and protect him from
his head to his toes,
269
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:22,960
inside and out. Amen.
270
00:11:24,487 --> 00:11:27,170
You're right. I don't believe in that.
271
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:32,959
But it did feel good. Thanks.
272
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,170
In the Bible, that's called
a hedge of protection.
273
00:11:38,210 --> 00:11:40,169
Why do you keep smiling?
274
00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:42,893
You need to look at your mask, baby.
275
00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:47,213
SHELDON: Missy?!
276
00:11:50,489 --> 00:11:52,528
We have to go to school,
and Sheldon doesn't?
277
00:11:52,531 --> 00:11:54,380
- That's not fair.
- Sure it is.
278
00:11:54,383 --> 00:11:56,459
Sheldon loves school and can't go.
279
00:11:56,460 --> 00:11:58,829
You hate school and have to. Fair.
280
00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:00,382
GEORGE SR.: He still has
281
00:12:00,385 --> 00:12:02,187
to spend his day doing chores.
282
00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:04,038
Can't sit around
playing with his trains.
283
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,377
Yeah, put him to work.
Good parenting, Dad.
284
00:12:06,380 --> 00:12:08,132
Oh, I'm glad you approve.
285
00:12:08,135 --> 00:12:10,004
I do.
286
00:12:10,007 --> 00:12:12,136
Where you going?
287
00:12:12,139 --> 00:12:14,249
I'm gonna give Sheldon a list of chores.
288
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,238
You're actually taking my advice?
289
00:12:16,241 --> 00:12:17,238
Yes.
290
00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:18,613
Well, how about that?
291
00:12:18,616 --> 00:12:21,919
Hey, you were due.
292
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,379
[DOOR CLOSES]
293
00:12:23,380 --> 00:12:24,905
Proud of you, George.
294
00:12:33,708 --> 00:12:35,247
Sheldon?
295
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:36,577
Yes.
296
00:12:36,580 --> 00:12:39,199
The door's locked. Can you open it?
297
00:12:39,202 --> 00:12:41,451
No.
298
00:12:41,454 --> 00:12:43,398
What on earth?
299
00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:55,418
Hello.
300
00:12:55,421 --> 00:12:56,613
What are you doing?
301
00:12:56,616 --> 00:12:59,459
I made a real germ-proof
hedge of protection.
302
00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:02,289
Oh, honey, you can't stay in there.
303
00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:05,459
I've got a refrigerator,
I've got my sleeping bag,
304
00:13:05,460 --> 00:13:08,329
and anything else I need
I can make out of Legos.
305
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,120
What's with the Halloween costume?
306
00:13:13,648 --> 00:13:15,741
In case of a breach.
307
00:13:17,624 --> 00:13:19,249
Stay right there.
308
00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:20,749
That's my plan.
309
00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,265
George?
310
00:13:26,330 --> 00:13:29,169
Just when you think he's gonna zig,
311
00:13:29,170 --> 00:13:30,848
you get a big old zag.
312
00:13:30,851 --> 00:13:32,964
It's ridiculous. I'm...
I'm gonna take it down.
313
00:13:32,967 --> 00:13:35,176
No, you can't force him out of a phobia.
314
00:13:35,179 --> 00:13:36,142
What do we do?
315
00:13:36,145 --> 00:13:37,344
He can't live in there.
316
00:13:37,347 --> 00:13:38,443
Well, actually, he can.
317
00:13:38,446 --> 00:13:41,037
He's got the refrigerator
and a sleeping bag.
318
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,249
And he can always go potty in the sink.
319
00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:46,491
I think I'll take the kids to school.
320
00:13:46,494 --> 00:13:48,879
I'm sure he'll be out
by the time you get home.
321
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,273
Not sure why you think that, but okay.
322
00:13:51,276 --> 00:13:52,421
Mom?
323
00:13:52,424 --> 00:13:53,567
Yes, Shelly.
324
00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:54,726
Can you close the door?
325
00:13:54,729 --> 00:13:56,507
I need to use the sink.
326
00:13:59,968 --> 00:14:03,329
[MEEMAW LAUGHS]
327
00:14:03,330 --> 00:14:05,169
- Tammy Cook?
- Here.
328
00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:06,500
Georgie Cooper?
329
00:14:06,501 --> 00:14:07,829
Here.
330
00:14:07,830 --> 00:14:10,329
Sheldon Cooper? Absent.
331
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:11,738
Where's your brother?
332
00:14:11,741 --> 00:14:12,809
Home.
333
00:14:12,812 --> 00:14:13,859
Is he okay?
334
00:14:13,862 --> 00:14:14,999
Yeah, he's just...
335
00:14:15,002 --> 00:14:16,131
[BELL DINGS]
336
00:14:16,134 --> 00:14:18,963
Actually, it's not looking good for him.
337
00:14:18,966 --> 00:14:20,675
He might not make it.
338
00:14:20,678 --> 00:14:22,123
Oh, that's terrible.
339
00:14:22,126 --> 00:14:23,459
I know.
340
00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:25,669
I love him so much.
341
00:14:25,670 --> 00:14:29,669
If anything ever happened,
I don't know what I'd do.
342
00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:31,577
Aw.
343
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,476
MARY: Shelly, if you don't mind
344
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:42,670
- me asking, what's your long-term plan here?
- I'm working
345
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:44,236
on the math to turn the garage
346
00:14:44,239 --> 00:14:46,463
into a self-sustaining ecosystem.
347
00:14:46,466 --> 00:14:49,420
- Okay. And what exactly does that mean?
- Well, all I need
348
00:14:49,423 --> 00:14:52,329
is sunlight and a few
seeds to grow unlimited food
349
00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:54,588
which I'll fertilize with my own feces.
350
00:14:54,591 --> 00:14:56,908
[LAUGHING]: This just gets better.
351
00:14:56,911 --> 00:14:59,162
If you're not gonna
help, please go inside.
352
00:14:59,165 --> 00:15:00,754
This is not a show.
353
00:15:00,757 --> 00:15:02,674
Now that's where I disagree.
354
00:15:02,677 --> 00:15:04,189
- [SIGHS]
- [GIGGLES]
355
00:15:04,192 --> 00:15:06,561
Shelly, baby, please come on out.
356
00:15:06,564 --> 00:15:08,117
I can't.
357
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,829
Come on. I'm your mommy.
358
00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:11,419
Do it for your mommy.
359
00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:12,549
No.
360
00:15:12,552 --> 00:15:13,829
[SIGHS]
361
00:15:13,832 --> 00:15:15,327
But I'm your mommy.
362
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:17,329
[LAUGHING]: Y'all are killing me.
363
00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:19,039
[LAUGHING]
364
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,250
[SIGHS]
365
00:15:20,251 --> 00:15:21,459
[LAUGHING]: "I'm your mommy."
366
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:25,791
I think the saddest part
about it is just how sad it is.
367
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,923
Is there anything that we can do?
368
00:15:27,926 --> 00:15:29,925
I don't know.
369
00:15:29,928 --> 00:15:31,717
A hug might help.
370
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,322
Of course.
371
00:15:34,853 --> 00:15:36,442
What's wrong with you two?
372
00:15:36,445 --> 00:15:37,945
Don't you care about my brother?
373
00:15:42,079 --> 00:15:44,208
[FAKE CRYING]
374
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,120
Aw.
375
00:15:46,123 --> 00:15:50,122
[CRYING]: Oh, Sheldon.
376
00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:52,327
That's it. I've had
enough of this nonsense.
377
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:54,539
If you don't come out, I'm coming in!
378
00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:56,799
One, two,
379
00:15:56,802 --> 00:15:57,822
three.
380
00:15:57,825 --> 00:15:59,343
Breach! Breach!
381
00:15:59,346 --> 00:16:01,065
You come here right this instant!
382
00:16:01,066 --> 00:16:02,299
No.
383
00:16:02,302 --> 00:16:03,846
Oh!
384
00:16:03,849 --> 00:16:07,705
♪ That's great, it starts
with an earthquake ♪
385
00:16:07,708 --> 00:16:09,620
Sheldon!
386
00:16:09,623 --> 00:16:12,425
You can't run away from me forever.
387
00:16:12,428 --> 00:16:15,335
I don't have to do it forever.
Just till you get tired.
388
00:16:15,338 --> 00:16:16,479
MEEMAW: Mary,
389
00:16:16,482 --> 00:16:18,101
I'm gonna run and go
get my video camera.
390
00:16:18,104 --> 00:16:19,443
Don't catch him till I get back.
391
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,813
This is not a joke!
392
00:16:20,816 --> 00:16:22,605
Sheldon, get over here!
393
00:16:22,608 --> 00:16:24,986
- ♪ It's the end of the world ♪
- [MEEMAW LAUGHS]
394
00:16:24,989 --> 00:16:26,373
♪ As we know it ♪
395
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,669
Get over here.
396
00:16:27,670 --> 00:16:30,397
Sheldon Lee Cooper, get here.
397
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:31,829
Right now.
398
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:34,760
Oh, Lord, I think I'm gonna wet myself.
399
00:16:34,763 --> 00:16:37,419
Get! You come here! Sheldon Lee Cooper!
400
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:39,880
♪ I feel fine. ♪
401
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:45,919
Look at that.
402
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,327
St. Mary drinking alcohol.
403
00:16:48,330 --> 00:16:51,119
God saw what just happened. He gets it.
404
00:16:51,122 --> 00:16:55,111
Mind if I take a crack at
catching the Road Runner?
405
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:56,993
What are you gonna
do that I couldn't do?
406
00:16:56,996 --> 00:16:58,575
Oh, a little trick I learned
407
00:16:58,578 --> 00:17:00,963
trying to get prairie
dogs out of the hole.
408
00:17:00,966 --> 00:17:03,737
Of course we'd whack off
their heads with a golf club.
409
00:17:03,740 --> 00:17:06,329
I'm not gonna do that to Sheldon.
410
00:17:06,332 --> 00:17:09,079
[SIGHS]
411
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,669
[SINGSONGY]: Oh, Moon Pie,
412
00:17:11,670 --> 00:17:15,169
I've got a little treat for you.
413
00:17:15,170 --> 00:17:17,169
Chocolate chip?
414
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,804
Mm-hmm, right out of the oven.
415
00:17:19,807 --> 00:17:21,908
Good. That means they're sterile.
416
00:17:21,911 --> 00:17:23,417
[LAUGHS]
417
00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:26,289
Why don't you come on out
here and... have a couple?
418
00:17:26,290 --> 00:17:28,379
I can't do that.
419
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,072
Okay, I tell you what.
420
00:17:30,075 --> 00:17:32,669
I'm gonna just put 'em right out here,
421
00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:35,959
and you can come out and
get one when you're ready.
422
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,007
How about that? I'm gonna put 'em down
423
00:17:39,010 --> 00:17:41,283
right... here.
424
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,541
Aah! [LAUGHS]
425
00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:49,210
Come on! Oh. [LAUGHS]
426
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:53,289
Listen to me, buster.
427
00:17:53,290 --> 00:17:54,335
Okay.
428
00:17:54,336 --> 00:17:56,580
You are a lot of things, Sheldon.
429
00:17:56,583 --> 00:18:00,205
You are cute, smart, hygienic.
430
00:18:03,674 --> 00:18:06,169
But most of all...
431
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:09,611
you... are a Texan.
432
00:18:09,614 --> 00:18:11,004
So?
433
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,432
So Texans
434
00:18:12,435 --> 00:18:14,934
aren't afraid of nothin'!
435
00:18:14,937 --> 00:18:17,457
Rattlesnakes, Indians,
436
00:18:17,460 --> 00:18:19,447
the Mexican Army.
437
00:18:21,378 --> 00:18:26,667
Do you imagine that Sam Houston
was scared of a little old cold?
438
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:27,999
No.
439
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,959
Jim Bowie?
440
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,329
No.
441
00:18:31,330 --> 00:18:34,959
Sissy Spacek?
442
00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:36,579
I... guess not?
443
00:18:36,580 --> 00:18:39,163
You're damn right,
because they're Texans
444
00:18:39,166 --> 00:18:40,709
through and through.
445
00:18:40,710 --> 00:18:43,104
Now I want you to quit
hiding in this plastic bubble,
446
00:18:43,107 --> 00:18:44,790
and I want you to come out here and
447
00:18:44,793 --> 00:18:48,158
eat your cookies out
in the world like a man!
448
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:49,814
Like a Texan man!
449
00:18:57,205 --> 00:18:59,205
[MEEMAW SIGHS]
450
00:19:11,255 --> 00:19:13,254
I'm impressed.
451
00:19:13,257 --> 00:19:14,499
Me, too.
452
00:19:14,502 --> 00:19:17,374
I thought I'd lost him at Sissy Spacek.
453
00:19:17,377 --> 00:19:20,322
Whew! [CHUCKLES]
454
00:19:22,876 --> 00:19:24,335
ADULT SHELDON: As you can see,
455
00:19:24,338 --> 00:19:27,857
my meemaw successfully
lured me back into the world
456
00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:31,845
by reminding me of my
brave Texas ancestors.
457
00:19:31,848 --> 00:19:34,227
Their blood ran through my veins.
458
00:19:34,230 --> 00:19:37,899
I was a true son of the Lone Star State.
459
00:19:37,900 --> 00:19:39,979
Albeit a true son
460
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:42,779
with an incredibly
fragile immune system.
461
00:19:42,780 --> 00:19:46,399
I woke up the next morning
with a temperature of 102
462
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:48,978
and a head packed full of mucus.
463
00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:53,119
However, there was a silver lining.
464
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:57,709
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
465
00:19:57,712 --> 00:20:00,248
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
466
00:20:00,251 --> 00:20:04,709
♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪
467
00:20:04,710 --> 00:20:07,139
♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
468
00:20:07,142 --> 00:20:08,999
Sing it again, Mom.
469
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,289
First, blow your nose.
470
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:11,670
[BLOWS NOSE]
471
00:20:13,524 --> 00:20:16,350
♪ Soft kitty, warm kitty ♪
472
00:20:16,353 --> 00:20:19,436
♪ Little ball of fur ♪
473
00:20:19,439 --> 00:20:23,670
♪ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty ♪
474
00:20:23,673 --> 00:20:26,100
♪ Purr, purr, purr. ♪
475
00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:32,189
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