1 00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:13,000 Episode 5x01: The Larry David Sandwich 2 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 3 00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:25,600 I'm drowning. 4 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:26,900 I'm gonna die. 5 00:01:26,900 --> 00:01:28,300 And somewhere I'm not even... 6 00:01:28,310 --> 00:01:31,200 I'm not religious at all, I said god help me. 7 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:34,700 And I'm deposited, right on the beach ! 8 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,300 I went swimming that day for some reason, 9 00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,300 something drew me to the water. 10 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,900 Why I don't know ! 11 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:44,900 You know it's like a baby drawn to the nipple. 12 00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:48,704 You know what I... you know or an adult drawn to the nipple. 13 00:01:49,002 --> 00:01:50,803 - Either way, right ? - You know what I think, Larry ? 14 00:01:50,803 --> 00:01:52,300 - Is that divine intervention ? - Yeah ! 15 00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:55,000 - Unbelievable Larry ! - Is that not divine intervention ? 16 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,500 You know what I think Larry ? 17 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,800 I think this happened for a reason. 18 00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:02,200 Yes, I think so too. It happened for a reason. 19 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,800 Now, maybe you'll start to be more respectful to people 20 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:06,500 treat people better. - What are you talking about ? 21 00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,700 I'm respectful to people ! 22 00:02:07,700 --> 00:02:10,100 - Umh, Larry, Uh... - What, what Uhuh ? 23 00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:12,200 - Whatever ! Whatever ! - I'm respecting people, I respect people ! 24 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,200 - I'm very nice to people. - Yeah, fine. 25 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,500 So, anyway, uh, amazing ? 26 00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:17,700 Is that amazing ? 27 00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,200 True story, every word ! 28 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:23,900 To life ! 29 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,100 - Have you gone to temple while holidays ? - Yeah of course. 30 00:02:33,100 --> 00:02:34,800 I think I wanna go to temple this year. 31 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,300 - You do ? - Yeah, given what happened and everything 32 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,800 don't you think I should be there ? 33 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,900 Yeah, it's a great thing, but you gotta get your ticket like... 34 00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:44,000 6 months in advance, it's a tough ticket to go to high holy days. 35 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,800 Why does a Jew need a ticket to go to temple, it's crazy ? 36 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,200 I'm not saying I justify it, but... 37 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,500 you need a ticket, now I've got my tickets. 38 00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:54,500 - How am I gonna get one ? - Um... 39 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:56,500 You know what... 40 00:02:57,300 --> 00:03:00,800 I'll make some calls and if I hook one up, I'll call you tonight. 41 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:02,300 We'll see... 42 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:03,800 Look at this thing... 43 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,500 Look, 've you ever seen a handle like this on a cup 44 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,500 What's the point of this ? 45 00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,900 - Looks like "pretend little tea cups". - I can't... Yeah look ! 46 00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:11,200 Look you can't get your index finger in there, what's the point ? 47 00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:13,800 I like watching you do that. 48 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,700 There was something I wanted to tell you. 49 00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:16,500 Oh ! 50 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,100 I went by Leo's delicatessen 51 00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:19,500 and what's up on the board ? 52 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,400 A brand new sandwich called "The Larry David" 53 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,600 - Get out of here ! - Swear to god ! 54 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:25,800 Swear to god ! 55 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,800 - They named a sandwich after me ? - They named a sandwich after you ! 56 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,300 - You're kidding ! - Yep, yep, yep 57 00:03:29,300 --> 00:03:30,900 I can't believe it, I'm on the board ! 58 00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,200 You're on the board. 59 00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:33,900 What is it ? 60 00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,900 Let's see, there is uh, whitefish... 61 00:03:36,900 --> 00:03:38,200 uh sable, 62 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:41,200 uh capres, onions and creme cheese. - What, what ? 63 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:44,100 - That's the sandwich ? - Yeah. 64 00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:47,100 - You got a sandwich - That's a disgusting sandwich really. 65 00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:51,000 I'm gonna get something to eat, I'll see you later. 66 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,600 Look at this. 67 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,200 - Sorry ! - Oh boy ! 68 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:58,200 Oh my gosh, oh what happened ? 69 00:03:58,900 --> 00:03:59,900 He bumped me. 70 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,600 - Did you bump into him ? - No 71 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,300 You bumped into me ! 72 00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:06,300 - You didn't bump into me ? - Alright please... 73 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,100 - What happened ? - Uh, nothing. 74 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:18,500 - Ready to go ? - Yeah, you're ready ? 75 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:21,400 - We're gonna take off. - What ? 76 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,600 We carpooled with you, I'm not ready to leave yet. 77 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,800 - It's enough already. - Larry what the fuck ? 78 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,700 I'm having fun, Jeff they wanna go. 79 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,100 - You wanna go ? We carpooled - Yeah we wanna go. 80 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,600 We're not ready to leave, Jeff. 81 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,000 - You just got this fool. - Alright listen... 82 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,400 You'll get a ride and if you don't get a ride, you give me a call. 83 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,100 - Fine yeah, you'll be here... - Yeah you'll come back and get us. 84 00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,300 - I will, I'll come back and get you. - I believe that ! 85 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,000 Call me Mr. Tibbs ! 86 00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,500 Don't answer that. 87 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:01,700 Actually it might be Jeff 88 00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:04,000 calling about the temple tickets. - I don't care ! 89 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,000 - I don't care, come on ! - No no this is kinda important deal. 90 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,800 - Well he'll call back. - He's not, I told him to... 91 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,200 I try and find out, hello ? 92 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,100 Made some calls but no go on the tickets. 93 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,200 - What a bummer. - Yeah I'm sorry. 94 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,400 But you know what ? 95 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,800 - You can always try for a scalper - Really ? They got scalper tickets ? 96 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:26,300 They usually do. 97 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,600 - Expensive ? - I have no idea. 98 00:05:31,300 --> 00:05:33,600 - Alright, I'l get some scalper tickets. - Get some scalper tickets. 99 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,600 We'll just go down there and try to get some. 100 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,400 - Thanks for trying. - Sure man, I talk to you later. 101 00:05:43,700 --> 00:05:44,900 - Get off ! - What ? 102 00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:46,900 - Get off of me ! - What are you doing ? 103 00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:49,400 What am I doing ? What are you doing ? 104 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,400 What ? 105 00:05:51,300 --> 00:05:53,100 What's the big deal ? What ? 106 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:55,200 Why do you have to answer the phone ? 107 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,400 Cause I told you I was expecting a call. 108 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,300 Why ? So what ? I don't... 109 00:06:01,700 --> 00:06:02,700 Good night. 110 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,000 Oh, right... 111 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,100 Mustn't interrupt intercourse ! 112 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,300 Oh sacred intercourse cannot be interrupted. 113 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,400 Everybody quiet ! Quiet for intercourse. 114 00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:17,700 Shhhht, don't disturb the intercourse. 115 00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:23,100 Let me tell you something... 116 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,800 This is some kind of sandwich my friend ! 117 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,200 It's the first time I really kvelled... 118 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:30,000 really swelled up with joy, 119 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,800 look at that Larry David sandwich. 120 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,500 I really kvell from this, 121 00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:36,900 it's something that makes me proud above anything. 122 00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:39,400 Alright, alright, I don't even like it ! 123 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,200 - What ? - I don't like it. 124 00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:46,000 Whatever you say just now, you mumbled it 125 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,400 wich is something you do. 126 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,800 You do a lot, you do a lot of mumbling. 127 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,800 - Okay - You don't have a lot of respect for speech. 128 00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:58,100 You could speak a little clearer, it wouldn't hurt anybody 129 00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:01,100 - Ah laughin' in my face ! - I don't have respect for speech ? 130 00:07:01,300 --> 00:07:03,900 - That's right - I do, I respect speech. 131 00:07:03,900 --> 00:07:05,200 I disagree. 132 00:07:05,900 --> 00:07:07,000 Look who's here ! 133 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,900 Hey, Leo ! 134 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,100 So good to see you. 135 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,500 Oh and Mr. David two. 136 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,300 How are you Sir, how are you ? 137 00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,300 Fine, fine, thank you. 138 00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:24,000 Leo, first of all, 139 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,000 I wanna thank you 140 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,200 for putting me up on the board, 141 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,200 having my own sandwich. 142 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,500 Larry David sandwich. 143 00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:36,900 Look, look how proud he is. 144 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:40,300 No problem, it's my pleasure to put the Larry David sandwich 145 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:42,402 up on the board. - It's such a wonderful thing. 146 00:07:42,402 --> 00:07:44,006 You like it, yeah ? You like it ? 147 00:07:46,103 --> 00:07:47,602 What is this, Eh ? 148 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,500 You know... 149 00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,800 Not really a big... 150 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,100 Not really a big fish guy, to tell you the truth. 151 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,500 This is the best whitefish in the whole wide world. 152 00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:58,700 No other place got this whitefish but me. 153 00:07:58,700 --> 00:07:59,900 Yeah, I'm sure it is, 154 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:02,200 but I'm more of a, you know, pastrami... 155 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,700 corned-beef kinda guy. 156 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:05,800 Can I get a pastrami corned-beef thing ? 157 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,300 You are the whitefish sable. Period. 158 00:08:09,300 --> 00:08:10,700 What do you want me to do ? 159 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:13,800 - What about tong ? - No tong ! 160 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:15,900 Hey let me ask you this ok ? 161 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:20,700 What if I got somebody to switch sandwiches with me ? 162 00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:24,700 - To switch with you ? - Yeah maybe, you know uh... 163 00:08:24,700 --> 00:08:26,700 Ted Danson or something... 164 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,100 What do you think about that ? 165 00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:31,100 Okay, I tell you what I'm going to do for you... 166 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,700 If the Mr. Danson say Ok 167 00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:35,300 Okay to switch ! 168 00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:38,200 - Alright thanks. - If I can do it, I can do it. 169 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,200 - I see you at the Temple. - Okay. 170 00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:46,700 Jesus, that guy almost broke my hand with that shake. 171 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,200 You don't whisper to me, please don't... 172 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,700 I said he almost broke my hand with that handshaking. 173 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:54,700 You know, little time, once in a while, 174 00:08:55,100 --> 00:08:56,700 if you... 175 00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,700 if you're pleasant to people. 176 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:04,700 What's the matter ? 177 00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:08,500 Get a drink of water. 178 00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,000 Take some water ! 179 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,900 It's ok, Pop ! 180 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:19,100 I think you're gonna be alright. 181 00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,600 I got your glasses. 182 00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:40,800 Well your dad has had a mild stroke. 183 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,200 - Really ? - Yes, but he's going to be fine 184 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,700 I've got him lightly sedated right now 185 00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:47,600 and he's resting. 186 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:49,100 But he's doing very very well 187 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,700 and there's nothing for you to worry about. 188 00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:52,500 - Okay. - Absolutely ! 189 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,500 My feeling is we may do a little corrective surgery 190 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:57,600 I don't know exactly when 191 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,200 but we'll have him here for a while. 192 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,900 - It's much better - Let me ask you a question. 193 00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,900 My dad and I were eating in the deli 194 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:07,600 earlier and uh... 195 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,600 Actually they named a sandwich after me... 196 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:13,800 - No kidding ? - Yeah, I got my own sandwich ! 197 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,800 - That is great ! - I'm up on the board. 198 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,500 The Larry David, if you go in there... 199 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,200 Oh I've seen that on the menu, everybody's got their sandwich. 200 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,800 Yes but you know, the bad news is that 201 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:25,800 I can't stand the sandwich between you and me. 202 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:28,600 - What is it ? - I see you recoiled a little bit, was it a breath thing ? 203 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:30,800 - No, no, not at all. - You put your head back a little bit. 204 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,700 - Not at all, no. - But anyway, is it... 205 00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:34,500 - Here's my question - Okay 206 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:38,700 Is it possible that the sandwich 207 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,200 could have had something to do with the stroke. 208 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,900 If the sandwich was caught 209 00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,900 and he started choking and couldn't breath... 210 00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:49,300 and then became fearful, I guess it's possible. 211 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,300 He could raise his blood pressure 212 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,600 His life is not threatened, he's fine and he's resting, so... 213 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,400 The sandwich gave him a stroke. 214 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:57,000 How do you like this ? 215 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,100 The sandwich ! 216 00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:02,100 Do you mind if I... 217 00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:05,500 You know I'm a big fan of "Seinfeld"... 218 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:08,200 - I don't know if it bothers you - Why would it bother me ? 219 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:10,700 - It was a wonderful show. - Thank you... 220 00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:12,800 I tell you what. 221 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,500 I'm gonna do your father surgery for you. 222 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,600 I'm chief sugery, usually I... 223 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,600 delegate it to somebody else, but... 224 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,400 I would be happy to do this for you. - Thank you 225 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,400 Now, you're a golfer right ? 226 00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:40,600 I can't believe that sandwich might have been responsible for this. 227 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,500 I'm so sorry. 228 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,800 Whitefish... 229 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,600 Why did he have to give me whitefish ? 230 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,600 There are so many other sandwiches 231 00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:55,900 Pastrami, Tuna, I would have taken tuna ! 232 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,200 Even with the mercury... 233 00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,600 It stinks in here... 234 00:12:03,610 --> 00:12:06,600 You know what, I think it's smell from the onion ! 235 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:09,800 You want a mint ? 236 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:10,800 Take a mint. 237 00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:14,300 No mint ? 238 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,600 I got a whole hand full of them. 239 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:25,400 What ? 240 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,200 What ? 241 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,100 What is it ? 242 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,100 I'm a doctor ? 243 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:49,700 I'm a doctor ? 244 00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:56,400 I'm... 245 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,400 adopted ? 246 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,100 Adopted ? 247 00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:04,100 - Did you say I'm adopted ? - I'm sorry, I have to ask you to leave the room. 248 00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:06,700 Now ! 249 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,400 - Adopted, you said... - You're gonna have to leave now. 250 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,400 Let's go, come on, let's go ! 251 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,500 I think I'm adopted, I might be adopted... 252 00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:26,700 I think I'm adopted, I could be adopted. 253 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:29,100 I might be adopted... 254 00:13:31,700 --> 00:13:34,700 - Dennis, hey ! - Where do you come from ? 255 00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:38,700 - Upstairs... - Upstairs ? What the... 256 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,200 Do you mind if I stop this for a second ? 257 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:45,800 I have an idea, maybe it'd be more funny... 258 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:48,800 I suspected this a long time, I really did. 259 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:52,200 The only thing... the only noticeable thing I have in common with him... 260 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,200 honest to god, is my penmanship I noticed there's a similarity. 261 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,000 Isn't there something with the stroke with oxygen to his brain or something ? 262 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,800 - Come on, adopted ? - Don't ruin this for me ! 263 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,100 - I'm not trying to ruin it for you. - Don't rain on my parade ! 264 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,900 - Hey look who's here ! - Hey ! 265 00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:08,700 Hey, man ! 266 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,700 Can't shake, bad fingers... 267 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,800 I'm so bummed out ! I'm awful in this. 268 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:17,000 - It's not you. - I'm not funny anymore ! 269 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,200 It's the writing. 270 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,100 Why are you here by the way ? 271 00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:21,900 Oh we were just... I was at his office... 272 00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:23,900 Thought I'd bring him by. Told him you were filming here. 273 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:26,500 - He got all excited. - Yeah, I figured I would check out the pilot. 274 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,000 I really appreciate it. 275 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,100 And uh, oh guess what ? 276 00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:32,500 Leo's... You know... 277 00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:35,100 - They named a sandwich after me. - Oh you're kidding me ? 278 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,000 - Oh you're kidding, that's great ! - I have a sandwich ! 279 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,400 - That's wonderful man ! - I'm on the board. 280 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,600 - You've arrived. - I'm on the board ! 281 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,600 - That is fantastic, that's good news. - Yep, so... 282 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,200 The thing about is I was wondering... 283 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,200 cause I know you don't go in there very much, I'm in there all the time. 284 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,200 I'm in there three times a week. 285 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,600 And in as much as you don't go in there. 286 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,500 I was juste thinking that maybe... 287 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:01,300 cause my sandwich is a great sandwich, 288 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:03,200 but I'm not really a fish guy. 289 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,200 And it's kind of a... you gotta like fish... you know... 290 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,000 You like fish, but anyway... 291 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,000 So I was thinking maybe, you wouldn't mind switching with me. 292 00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:14,700 - Switching sandwiches ? - Yeah, you know, cause you don't go in there 293 00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:17,000 I'd like to eat my own sandwich, it would be fun 294 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,000 to go in with my dad, and eat my own sandwich, you know... 295 00:15:20,500 --> 00:15:23,000 All right, what the hell, I mean what's the harm ? 296 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,300 - Really ? - Yeah, why not ? 297 00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,700 Well, Ted... Fantastic ! 298 00:15:26,700 --> 00:15:29,500 Just, if anyone ask me, what's in my new sandwich ? 299 00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,600 Oh, okay, it's uh... 300 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,500 you got whitefish 301 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,100 you know whitefish ? 302 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,100 - Whitefish ? - Whitefish and sable 303 00:15:39,300 --> 00:15:41,200 What is sable ? 304 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,400 - Sable ? It's a fish. - It's like the whitefish, it's a smoked fish. 305 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,600 Smoked fish, yeah... 306 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:49,300 - You have two fishes in the sandwich ? - Yeah but they blend very well together. 307 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,600 They're like siamese twins, whitefish and sable... 308 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,600 What else is in it ? No condiments ? 309 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,100 Cream cheese... 310 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,300 Yeah some cream cheese that's... 311 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,500 Capers... 312 00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,300 There may be some capers I'm not sure, 313 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:09,200 if you don't like'em you can brush'em off, that's not a big deal. 314 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,500 Onions... 315 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,900 That sounds awful ! 316 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,300 What are you talking about, awful ? 317 00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:27,300 My sandwich is turkey, coleslaw, russian dressing 318 00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:28,500 It's a classic. 319 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,500 - People come in, they order a Ted Danson - Yeah, but you're not there... 320 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:32,600 - you don't go in there. - I know 321 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:33,900 but people ared used to my sandwich 322 00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:36,600 They show up and all of a sudden they're eating, you know... 323 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,800 the Ted Danson sandwich all of a sudden has herring and lox... 324 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,200 - It's not herring, it's not herring - Capers... Onions... 325 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:46,200 Shut the fuck up ! It's not herring ! Ok ? 326 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,900 It's whitefish and sable, that's not herring 327 00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:51,900 Instead of ordering a Ted Danson, people go and order a Larry David 328 00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:53,400 What's the difference ? 329 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,300 One tastes good and one sucks ! 330 00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,200 Why don't you taste it ? Taste the sandwich ! 331 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,200 - Taste it ! - I don't wanna taste it, it's... 332 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,000 - You can't even taste it ? - I don't wanna taste it ! 333 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,900 - You won't taste it ? - No I won't taste your stupid sandwich ! 334 00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:06,300 - No I won't ! - Oh so you're not tasting it... 335 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,400 Tickets, tickets ? Who needs... 336 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:12,500 Who needs tickets ? 337 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,700 Tickets ? 338 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,500 Happy new year. 339 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:17,600 Tickets ? 340 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:21,300 - How are you ? - Good. 341 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,800 - You need tickets ? - You got something ? 342 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,300 - Do I have... ? I have the best seats. - Yeah ? 343 00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:29,000 I have fabulous two seats, right down front. 344 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,800 The cantor will be practically spitting all over you. 345 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:31,800 Really ? 346 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,300 How much ? 347 00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,600 Give me $600 for the two. 348 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,600 - I'll give you $300 for the pair. - I'll take $300. 349 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,600 I'll take the $300... 350 00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:45,500 You have no idea what a deal this is. 351 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:48,500 Incredible deal you got here. 352 00:17:53,300 --> 00:17:54,500 - Here you are. - All right. 353 00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:57,400 - You're not screwing me ? - You're screwing me maybe. 354 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:58,900 I'm giving you the deal of a lifetime. 355 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:01,800 - Oh, got them ! - All good. 356 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,200 - All right ! - Got them. 357 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,200 How much ? 358 00:18:05,300 --> 00:18:06,300 Really ? 359 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:07,300 Oh, jeez. 360 00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,600 I don't understand why you buy tickets. 361 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,200 - It's a very popular day. - Too many jews to go around. 362 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,200 It's not enough, exactly. 363 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:16,200 By the way, thank you for carpooling with us. 364 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,600 I really never expected you'd get in my car again after the other night. 365 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:21,300 We're sorry about that. 366 00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:24,600 Listen, this adoption thing, I was thinking about. 367 00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:28,400 Isn't there an aunt or an uncle or somebody from your childhood ? 368 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,200 Any relative who would know, they're all dead. 369 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,200 - They're all dead ? Every last one ? - All dead. 370 00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,600 There's one person though. 371 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,600 I had a nanny when I was... 372 00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,100 - You had a nanny ? - I had a nanny, Johanna Seiderman. 373 00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:45,100 - Yeah ? - When I was a little kid. 374 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,600 Antoinette tracked her down. 375 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,000 There's a Johanna Seiderman in a nursing home 376 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,700 - in Queens... - Really ? 377 00:18:52,700 --> 00:18:54,200 And I've written her a letter. 378 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,500 This is terrific. That way you'll have definitive "yes, no." 379 00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,500 You might not be happy with the answer, but you'll know the answer. 380 00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,200 Let me ask you guys a question. 381 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,800 You pick up the phone during sex ? 382 00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:05,900 Why would you pick up ? 383 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:08,400 You're in the middle of an intimate moment with your loved one. 384 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:10,400 - You're gonna pick up ? - Well, I... Yeah... 385 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,700 - fine. - Why would you pick up ? 386 00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,700 If every blue moon I have sex, I'm not gonna pick up. 387 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:15,700 You have an answering machine, 388 00:19:15,700 --> 00:19:17,600 - why do you have an answering machine ? - Thank you. 389 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,100 You're having an intimate moment and you pick up the phone ? 390 00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,000 Who does that ? 391 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,500 Hey, Larry. 392 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:24,500 Larry, Rob. 393 00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:25,800 Oh, sorry I can't shake, Rob. 394 00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,800 - Got a bad... a bad hand, somebody... - Okay. All right. 395 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,000 - So this your wife ? - No ! What ? No ! 396 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,000 - What kind of response is that ? - No, that's my wife. 397 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,400 Hey, I'll see you inside. 398 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:39,100 - Okay, see you inside. - All right, take care. 399 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,900 - Really ! It's always a thing. - Sorry ? What ? Oh, stop. 400 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:43,300 "No no no no !" 401 00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:46,100 Well, you know, you've got your Al Capone hat on. 402 00:19:46,100 --> 00:19:48,900 This happens to be a very expensive hat, mister. 403 00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:51,500 - It's rude. - Let's go in and pray. 404 00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:52,500 Ok, let's go in and pray. 405 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,500 Sorry, Susie. 406 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:04,200 "Be among those who cherish truth above ease. 407 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,500 Their fruit we eat now; 408 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,900 Their essence remains for us 409 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:11,900 in the life to come. 410 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:50,200 - How'd you get that sandwich ? - What are you talking about ? 411 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,200 That sandwich at the deli ! 412 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,300 Leo gave it to me. That's how I got it. 413 00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:55,000 How do you... Did you bribe him ? 414 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,600 I bribed him. That's rich. 415 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:57,900 What the hell are you talking about ? 416 00:20:57,900 --> 00:21:00,100 - How many times a week do you go ? - I don't know. Two ? 417 00:21:00,100 --> 00:21:02,100 - I go there five times a week. - Big deal. 418 00:21:02,100 --> 00:21:03,600 But I eat anything off the menu. 419 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,400 - I eat a lot of stuff too. - I take stuff out. 420 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:07,100 - I get deliveries. - I give it to charity. 421 00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:08,000 Big deal ! 422 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,100 What were you talking to him outside ? I saw you talking to him... 423 00:21:10,100 --> 00:21:11,400 - None of your business. - What was that about ? 424 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,400 The new year, the new year... 425 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,400 "Would you tell me why I didn't get a sandwich, Leo." 426 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,400 - Your sandwich stinks by the way. It stinks ! - "I wanna get a sandwich, Leo !" 427 00:21:17,900 --> 00:21:18,900 You stink. 428 00:21:19,300 --> 00:21:20,600 Excuse me, sir. 429 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,900 I'm gonna need to see your ticket. 430 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:24,800 Why ? 431 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:25,800 Your ticket, sir. 432 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,200 Is there a problem ? What's the problem ? 433 00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,000 This the guy ? 434 00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:38,200 - Okay, pal. - You little snitch. 435 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,100 - You're gonna have to step out of there. - Why ? I have a ticket. 436 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,200 - I can't believe it ! - Do you feel like making a scene ? 437 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,200 - No. - Shh ! 438 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,700 - Oh, shush you. - Shh ! 439 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,200 Shush yourself ! 440 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,200 All right, great. Little tattletale. 441 00:21:50,200 --> 00:21:51,400 You little nitch. 442 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:55,100 He spilled the coffee, by the way, 'cause I couldn't put my fingers through your dainty cup ! 443 00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:57,400 You're setting a very bad example for my gentile wife. 444 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,600 You know that ? Look It's her first time in temple. 445 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,100 - Larry, what's happening ? - They're kicking us out. 446 00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:04,500 - Well, are you gonna wait for us ? - It's gonna be an hour and a half. 447 00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:06,400 How are we gonna get home ? We carpooled with you. 448 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:08,500 You'll get a ride. There's plenty of people. Ask somebody... 449 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:09,500 Let's go. 450 00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:11,700 Get a ride. 451 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,000 Friends, let us continue on page 143. 452 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,000 - I saw you roll about seven feet past. - Yeah. 453 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,600 Get this: The doctor divorced his wife and is seeing his secretary. 454 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:28,200 - Just told me. - Unbelievable. 455 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:29,200 This guy... 456 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:31,800 Did you hear from the nanny ? 457 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,000 No, not yet. 458 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,500 - You must be on pins and needles. - Yeah. 459 00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:38,800 But you know I think if she gets the letter, 460 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,400 I think she's gonna get in touch with me. 461 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,700 I don't know, we'll see. 462 00:22:41,700 --> 00:22:43,200 - That's wild. - Isn't it ? 463 00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:03,000 He's got the yips. 464 00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,100 The what ? 465 00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:11,100 The yips. 466 00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:13,700 - The yips ! - Yeah well, I don't know what that is. 467 00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:15,300 - You never heard of the yips ? - No. 468 00:23:15,300 --> 00:23:17,300 Okay, it's in golf. 469 00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:20,200 You line up to putt and your hands shake. 470 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,600 He was shaking like this. 471 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,100 Well... 472 00:23:23,100 --> 00:23:25,700 I mean, maybe it's just a golf condition. 473 00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:27,700 He gets nervous when he putts or something. 474 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,300 I can't take that chance. He's operating on my father. 475 00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:33,500 You need to call him and tell him not to do it. 476 00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:36,000 They're gonna have to get somebody else. 477 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,400 - I hate doing stuff like this. - You don't have a choice. 478 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,400 I hate these calls. 479 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,400 Pick up the phone and call the doctor. 480 00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:46,100 Maybe you could call him. 481 00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:49,100 If it was my father I would've already been on the phone. 482 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,100 You should go out of the room 'cause I can't do this in front of somebody else, 483 00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:05,000 honest to go could you leave the room ? 484 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,300 It's like calling for a date or something, 485 00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:09,300 - you know, I need privacy. - Oy. 486 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:28,800 I never... 487 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,500 - I never said you were adopted. - Yeah, that's what you said. 488 00:24:31,500 --> 00:24:34,000 No, I never said that. 489 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,600 I wouldn't say that to you, no. 490 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,100 It's not true, no. 491 00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,700 - You're not adopted. - It's okay, you can tell me. I can take it. 492 00:24:39,700 --> 00:24:41,900 - You're not, you're not. - Are you sure ? 493 00:24:41,900 --> 00:24:44,900 Listen, that Larry David sandwich, 494 00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:46,400 I didn't finish it. 495 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,900 I remember seeing a half a sandwich still on that table. 496 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:51,600 You want the other half ? 497 00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,500 You know what, I just ran into your doctor. 498 00:24:53,500 --> 00:24:55,100 I'm meeting him there for lunch. 499 00:24:55,100 --> 00:24:57,100 - What a nightmare that's gonna be. - What ? 500 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:01,900 You sure I'm not adopted ? 501 00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:06,600 I never said that. 502 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,100 Never. 503 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,400 Okay. 504 00:25:30,100 --> 00:25:33,100 We'll see what Mrs. Seiderman has to say. 505 00:25:49,900 --> 00:25:51,800 I'd like a Larry David to go, please. 506 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,800 Oh, we don't have that sandwich anymore. 507 00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:57,200 - What ? - They changed the name. 508 00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:06,300 And I say that it happens every single time. 509 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:08,900 I swear to god. 510 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:11,800 No I've never lied to you, not to you guys. 511 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,000 Larry, what are you doing here ? 512 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,800 You stole my sandwich ? Is that what you did ? 513 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,400 - The hell are you talking about ? - What am I talking about ? 514 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,100 What are you talking about ? 515 00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:23,500 - You stole my sandwich ! - What the fuck does that mean ? 516 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:24,500 Look, look ! 517 00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:26,500 - Look at the board ! - Are you blaming me ? 518 00:26:26,500 --> 00:26:28,900 - I saw you talking to him outside the temple. - You're out of your fucking mind. 519 00:26:28,900 --> 00:26:31,600 - You don't think I saw who you were talking to ? - You're losing it ! 520 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,100 I always talk to people outside. 521 00:26:33,100 --> 00:26:34,600 It's Rosh Hashanah ! It's the new year ! 522 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,300 I talk to deli owners ! I talk to pawnbrokers ! 523 00:26:37,300 --> 00:26:39,300 "Leo, can I please have a sandwich ?" 524 00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:40,400 - Oh, bullshit ! - "Please, please !" 525 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,500 You were so jealous that I had a sandwich, up there 526 00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:44,200 and you just couldn't take it, could you ? 527 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,100 You had to get your little sandwich ! 528 00:26:46,100 --> 00:26:49,600 - I got a piece of information you might be interested in. - I can't wait. What is it ? 529 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:52,300 I'm adopted. 530 00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:54,900 - Bullshit. - Bullshit ? Bullshit ? 531 00:26:54,900 --> 00:26:57,100 No, it's not bullshit. 532 00:26:57,100 --> 00:26:58,600 What do you mean you're adopted ? 533 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,000 I'm adopted. 534 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,300 How do you know ? 535 00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:03,000 My father told me. 536 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:04,300 You don't know who your parents are ? 537 00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:06,600 I know they're not those nuts ! I know that ! 538 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:08,900 - But I know who yours are. - Fuck. 539 00:27:08,900 --> 00:27:11,100 Enjoy your whitefish. Enjoy. 540 00:27:11,100 --> 00:27:13,100 - Larry. - Yeah ? 541 00:27:13,100 --> 00:27:15,700 Larry, you are adopted ? 542 00:27:15,700 --> 00:27:19,400 - Yeah. - I adopted too ! You are my brother ! 543 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,400 We are in the brotherhood of the adopted ! 544 00:27:22,900 --> 00:27:24,300 Larry, come on over here. 545 00:27:24,300 --> 00:27:25,800 You know what I'm going to do ? 546 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,000 I'm going to let you have any sandwich you want. 547 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,700 - Really ? - Yeah, any one you want ! Take it ! Go ahead, take it. 548 00:27:30,700 --> 00:27:32,400 - Oh, boy. - Take it. 549 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,400 - It's a tough decision. - Okay okay, I wait. 550 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,200 I think I'm going to have to go with that Ted Danson. 551 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,300 - Ted Danson ? This yours. 552 00:27:40,300 --> 00:27:43,000 - Thank you ! - That son of a bitch don't come in anyway ! 553 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:44,000 - You got it ! - Thank you. 554 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,400 - Hey, Larry. - Dr. Sewell. 555 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,200 I want you to meet a friend of mine. Leo, this is Dr. Sewell. 556 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,200 - Leo. - How are you, Dr. Sewell ? 557 00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:04,700 I think I'll get that Larry David to go. 558 00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:14,000 Do not even think about it. 559 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,200 I'm expecting a call from Mrs. Seiderman. 560 00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:19,200 - Who ? - You know, my nanny. 561 00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,400 Do not pick up that phone. 562 00:28:31,700 --> 00:28:34,200 Nobody's picking up. 563 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:38,700 I had an answer... to his question. 564 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,200 If only he had picked up. 565 00:28:45,100 --> 00:28:46,900 Mrs. Seiderman ? 566 00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:48,400 Mrs. Seiderman. 567 00:28:50,900 --> 00:28:52,700 Mrs. Seiderman ! 568 00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:54,700 Mrs. Seiderman ?! 569 00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:58,900 Subtitles by Eyedol Thx to the transcript from Raceman. Only for www.forom.com