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00:00:01,556 --> 00:00:03,288
ADULT SHELDON: In any ecosystem,
2
00:00:03,291 --> 00:00:07,915
you'll find a delicate balance
between predator and prey.
3
00:00:07,918 --> 00:00:09,673
Some well-known predators
4
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:12,712
include Panthera leo,
5
00:00:12,715 --> 00:00:14,382
Ursus arctos,
6
00:00:14,385 --> 00:00:17,606
and star of the 1987 film Predator,
7
00:00:17,608 --> 00:00:19,408
Predator.
8
00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:21,264
Now, examples of prey
9
00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:24,547
include Oryctolagus cuniculus,
10
00:00:24,549 --> 00:00:26,649
Gallus gallus domesticus,
11
00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:29,561
and weighing in at 58
pounds soaking wet,
12
00:00:29,564 --> 00:00:31,587
Diminutive homo novus...
13
00:00:31,589 --> 00:00:33,616
Curiously, a close relative
14
00:00:33,619 --> 00:00:36,158
of Gallus gallus domesticus.
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♪ Two, three, four ♪
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["FIX ME" BY BLACK FLAG PLAYS]
17
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[KIDS SHOUTING]
18
00:00:42,233 --> 00:00:44,678
♪ Fix me, fix my head ♪
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00:00:44,681 --> 00:00:47,123
♪ Fix me please, I don't
want to be dead... ♪
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00:00:48,129 --> 00:00:49,295
LUIS: Cooper.
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00:00:49,298 --> 00:00:50,706
Your stop.
22
00:00:50,708 --> 00:00:54,342
Would you mind dropping
me off closer to my house?
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You know I'm not allowed to do that.
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What if I did your taxes?
25
00:00:58,316 --> 00:00:59,923
Sorry, kiddo.
26
00:01:03,721 --> 00:01:06,488
I could've gotten you a nice refund.
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00:01:06,490 --> 00:01:08,023
ADULT SHELDON: The perilous journey
28
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from the bus stop to my front door
29
00:01:10,027 --> 00:01:12,695
was 97.5 meters.
30
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FYI, insisting on
using the metric system
31
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in East Texas is another reason
I was hunted by predators.
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♪ ♪
33
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[PANTING] Homo novus needs a Yoo-hoo.
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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00:02:00,811 --> 00:02:03,412
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
37
00:02:03,414 --> 00:02:06,319
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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00:02:06,322 --> 00:02:13,025
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
39
00:02:18,629 --> 00:02:19,928
Jiu-jitsu?
40
00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:22,831
I've decided to learn self-defense.
41
00:02:22,833 --> 00:02:24,631
- Why?
- I'm quite small,
42
00:02:24,634 --> 00:02:26,902
and will be for several years,
43
00:02:26,904 --> 00:02:28,904
maybe even more if I'm a late bloomer.
44
00:02:28,906 --> 00:02:31,473
Your dad's big, maybe
you'll take after him.
45
00:02:31,475 --> 00:02:32,841
We both like my mom.
46
00:02:32,843 --> 00:02:35,177
I think that's where
the similarities end.
47
00:02:35,179 --> 00:02:36,879
You know, one of the books mentioned
48
00:02:36,881 --> 00:02:38,881
a Vietnamese martial art.
49
00:02:38,883 --> 00:02:41,083
Vovinam. I'm a blue belt.
50
00:02:41,085 --> 00:02:43,218
- Wow.
- Don't be impressed.
51
00:02:43,220 --> 00:02:45,387
It's what you get when
your mom buys the uniform.
52
00:02:45,389 --> 00:02:47,156
Do you remember any of it?
53
00:02:47,158 --> 00:02:49,837
I don't even know where the belt is.
54
00:02:52,930 --> 00:02:54,096
The book says jiu-jitsu
55
00:02:54,098 --> 00:02:55,931
is based on using your attacker's
56
00:02:55,933 --> 00:02:57,272
momentum against them.
57
00:02:57,275 --> 00:03:00,035
It's just physics. Come at me.
58
00:03:00,037 --> 00:03:01,904
Like, run at you?
59
00:03:01,906 --> 00:03:04,794
Well, I'm new to this, so
maybe just walk quickly.
60
00:03:04,797 --> 00:03:06,358
And what happens when I get to you?
61
00:03:06,361 --> 00:03:08,677
I'll use your inertia to take you down.
62
00:03:08,679 --> 00:03:10,079
Okay.
63
00:03:10,081 --> 00:03:11,480
♪ Hit it ♪
64
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:13,459
♪ It takes two to make a thing go right ♪
65
00:03:13,462 --> 00:03:15,617
[GRUNTING]
66
00:03:15,619 --> 00:03:18,220
And when does inertia take me down?
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[STRAINING]: Any second.
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00:03:20,184 --> 00:03:22,384
♪ I got an idea that I wanna share ♪
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00:03:22,387 --> 00:03:24,888
♪ You don't like it, so
what? I don't care... ♪
70
00:03:24,891 --> 00:03:26,857
I don't understand.
71
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:28,830
I'm using physics.
72
00:03:28,833 --> 00:03:30,189
[GRUNTING]
73
00:03:30,192 --> 00:03:32,369
♪ All of my followers 'cause
all I want is respect... ♪
74
00:03:32,372 --> 00:03:36,038
This leg lock is called
an Outside Ashi Garami.
75
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:37,406
What happens next?
76
00:03:37,408 --> 00:03:39,939
That depends, is this your foot or mine?
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00:03:39,942 --> 00:03:41,826
♪ It takes two to make it outta sight. ♪
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00:03:41,829 --> 00:03:43,712
♪ ♪
79
00:03:43,714 --> 00:03:46,540
LUIS: Cooper. Your stop.
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00:04:02,133 --> 00:04:03,799
[PANTING]
81
00:04:08,973 --> 00:04:10,406
Ahh.
82
00:04:12,042 --> 00:04:14,220
I bowled a new high score last night.
83
00:04:14,223 --> 00:04:15,408
Nice.
84
00:04:15,411 --> 00:04:18,619
- I got two turkeys.
- What's a turkey?
85
00:04:18,622 --> 00:04:20,249
It's three strikes in a row.
86
00:04:20,251 --> 00:04:22,139
Why do they call it a turkey?
87
00:04:22,142 --> 00:04:25,921
Well, when they first invented bowling,
88
00:04:25,923 --> 00:04:29,319
they used to just throw
frozen turkeys at the pins.
89
00:04:29,322 --> 00:04:31,733
Eventually, they switched to balls
90
00:04:31,736 --> 00:04:34,263
to cut down on the smell.
91
00:04:34,265 --> 00:04:35,898
Why you lying to her?
92
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:38,333
I find it keeps my mind sharp. [CHUCKLES]
93
00:04:38,335 --> 00:04:40,469
Sheldon, breakfast!
94
00:04:40,471 --> 00:04:42,137
SHELDON: Be right there!
95
00:04:45,976 --> 00:04:48,110
MARY: Sheldon!
96
00:04:48,112 --> 00:04:50,470
Coming!
97
00:04:58,155 --> 00:04:59,421
[RUSTLING]
98
00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,460
Hello.
99
00:05:04,462 --> 00:05:06,037
MARY: Shelly, you all right?
100
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,925
Yes. I must be a little sore
101
00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:10,632
from doing jiu-jitsu with Tam yesterday.
102
00:05:10,635 --> 00:05:12,451
Why were you doing jiu-jitsu?
103
00:05:12,454 --> 00:05:15,437
We're boys. Roughhousing is what we do.
104
00:05:17,174 --> 00:05:18,807
[POPPING]
105
00:05:20,678 --> 00:05:23,579
- What was that?
- What was what?
106
00:05:23,581 --> 00:05:24,880
That sound.
107
00:05:24,882 --> 00:05:26,517
What sound?
108
00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,056
[POPPING]
109
00:05:32,275 --> 00:05:33,689
What's all this?
110
00:05:33,691 --> 00:05:36,325
An extra layer of protection.
111
00:05:36,327 --> 00:05:37,900
Protection from what?
112
00:05:37,903 --> 00:05:40,661
Sweetie, is someone bothering you?
113
00:05:40,664 --> 00:05:43,532
- Yes.
- Who is it?
114
00:05:43,534 --> 00:05:45,303
I'd rather not talk about it.
115
00:05:45,306 --> 00:05:47,069
No, I want a name right now.
116
00:05:47,071 --> 00:05:48,283
Mary.
117
00:05:48,286 --> 00:05:49,571
Have you been hurting him?
118
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Only with my words.
119
00:05:51,542 --> 00:05:53,075
Tell me who it is, Shelly.
120
00:05:53,077 --> 00:05:54,309
Mary, slow down.
121
00:05:54,311 --> 00:05:55,978
Don't tell me to slow down.
122
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,980
- Someone is bullying him.
- Okay.
123
00:05:57,982 --> 00:05:59,525
Okay.
124
00:05:59,528 --> 00:06:01,995
Sheldon, you can't go to
school wearing all that.
125
00:06:01,998 --> 00:06:03,439
Go to your room and take it off.
126
00:06:03,442 --> 00:06:04,774
Yes, sir.
127
00:06:04,777 --> 00:06:07,378
[RUSTLING, POPPING]
128
00:06:07,381 --> 00:06:08,924
You go with him.
129
00:06:08,927 --> 00:06:10,471
But my cereal's gonna get soggy.
130
00:06:10,474 --> 00:06:12,194
- Go.
- [SIGHS]
131
00:06:12,196 --> 00:06:14,134
I'd like one nice morning.
132
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:18,103
Why aren't you more upset about this?
133
00:06:18,106 --> 00:06:20,764
I am. I just think we
should proceed with caution.
134
00:06:20,767 --> 00:06:23,584
- Someone is hurting our son.
- I understand.
135
00:06:23,587 --> 00:06:25,574
But handling bullies is tricky. It...
136
00:06:25,576 --> 00:06:27,709
It's easy to make things worse.
137
00:06:27,711 --> 00:06:29,545
And what makes you the expert?
138
00:06:29,547 --> 00:06:32,481
Honey, I was a bully.
139
00:06:32,483 --> 00:06:33,782
MEEMAW: He's right.
140
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:36,118
You get involved in
this in the wrong way,
141
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:39,054
and they'll take it out on Sheldon.
142
00:06:39,056 --> 00:06:41,806
Well, I'm sorry, but
I can't just stand by.
143
00:06:48,532 --> 00:06:50,666
Georgie, I need to talk
to you, and wake up,
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00:06:50,668 --> 00:06:52,234
you're gonna be late.
145
00:06:52,236 --> 00:06:55,537
Got it covered. I slept in my clothes.
146
00:06:55,539 --> 00:06:58,677
Oh, Lord. Look, somebody has
been picking on your brother.
147
00:06:58,680 --> 00:06:59,912
You know anything about it?
148
00:06:59,915 --> 00:07:01,022
No.
149
00:07:01,025 --> 00:07:03,579
You better not be covering for anybody.
150
00:07:03,581 --> 00:07:05,480
I'm not. Most kids at school ignore him,
151
00:07:05,482 --> 00:07:07,048
and the girls all think he's cute.
152
00:07:07,051 --> 00:07:08,517
It's kind of annoying.
153
00:07:08,519 --> 00:07:10,919
Well, I need you to look after him.
154
00:07:10,921 --> 00:07:11,931
Why?
155
00:07:11,934 --> 00:07:14,790
Because I'm your mother,
and I'm asking you nicely.
156
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,291
What if I don't want to?
157
00:07:16,293 --> 00:07:19,087
I don't care, you're doing it.
158
00:07:21,098 --> 00:07:22,864
How was that nice?
159
00:07:22,866 --> 00:07:25,634
So there I was flying above the city,
160
00:07:25,636 --> 00:07:28,003
but when I woke up, I couldn't fly.
161
00:07:28,005 --> 00:07:30,439
That's like the dream you had
where you were dating Madonna,
162
00:07:30,441 --> 00:07:32,405
but when you woke up, you weren't.
163
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:33,609
Exactly.
164
00:07:33,611 --> 00:07:35,911
You ever have the ones where
your teeth are falling out?
165
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:38,981
Better my teeth than my hair, but...
166
00:07:38,983 --> 00:07:41,850
- Sheldon?
- Over here.
167
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:44,319
- What are you doing?
- Hiding.
168
00:07:44,321 --> 00:07:45,554
From who?
169
00:07:48,239 --> 00:07:50,264
Is Billy the one giving you trouble?
170
00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:51,360
No.
171
00:07:51,362 --> 00:07:53,462
His dad?
172
00:07:53,464 --> 00:07:55,170
No...
173
00:07:55,173 --> 00:07:57,700
♪ ♪
174
00:07:57,703 --> 00:07:58,976
No.
175
00:08:01,005 --> 00:08:02,871
She's a demon.
176
00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:07,881
The little Sparks girl?
177
00:08:07,884 --> 00:08:10,312
You're kidding. She seems so sweet.
178
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:13,049
He says she slaps him
around, takes his lunch money.
179
00:08:13,052 --> 00:08:15,540
She even put a tadpole down his shirt.
180
00:08:15,542 --> 00:08:18,865
Poor kid, he tucks in those shirts.
181
00:08:28,621 --> 00:08:31,222
- She looks harmless.
- She's cute.
182
00:08:31,224 --> 00:08:33,524
So she probably gets away with stuff.
183
00:08:33,526 --> 00:08:35,205
I'm like that.
184
00:08:36,744 --> 00:08:39,008
I wonder if stray cats
poop in that sandbox.
185
00:08:39,011 --> 00:08:40,210
MARY: George.
186
00:08:42,602 --> 00:08:44,588
You need to talk to her parents.
187
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:45,990
Me? Why me?
188
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:49,107
Because you're more
intimidating than me.
189
00:08:49,109 --> 00:08:50,994
That's rich.
190
00:09:01,221 --> 00:09:02,520
Hey, Billy.
191
00:09:02,522 --> 00:09:04,487
Hello, Missy's dad.
192
00:09:04,490 --> 00:09:07,624
- Is your father home?
- Yes.
193
00:09:07,627 --> 00:09:10,194
Could you get him for me?
194
00:09:10,196 --> 00:09:11,807
Happy to.
195
00:09:11,810 --> 00:09:14,064
Dad, it's Missy's dad!
196
00:09:14,067 --> 00:09:16,518
He's also Sheldon's dad!
197
00:09:16,521 --> 00:09:18,035
HERSCHEL: Well, howdy, neighbor.
198
00:09:18,037 --> 00:09:19,080
Hey, Herschel.
199
00:09:19,083 --> 00:09:20,772
What brings you by? Chickens too loud?
200
00:09:20,774 --> 00:09:23,124
- Nah, they been fine.
- Good, good.
201
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:25,009
Fried up the noisy one last week.
202
00:09:25,011 --> 00:09:27,163
That shut him up.
Anyway, how can I help?
203
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,780
Uh, well...
204
00:09:28,782 --> 00:09:31,749
It's come to my attention that, uh...
205
00:09:31,751 --> 00:09:34,652
Sheldon's run into a bit of
trouble with your daughter.
206
00:09:34,654 --> 00:09:36,187
What kind of trouble?
207
00:09:36,189 --> 00:09:39,157
He says she been beating on him.
208
00:09:39,159 --> 00:09:42,326
- My Bobbi?
- Yeah.
209
00:09:42,328 --> 00:09:44,095
This one? The six-year-old?
210
00:09:45,532 --> 00:09:46,831
Bobbi, get over here!
211
00:09:46,833 --> 00:09:50,201
You realize I've taken
dumps bigger than this kid.
212
00:09:50,203 --> 00:09:52,635
- Hi, Daddy.
- Hey, babydoll, uh,
213
00:09:52,638 --> 00:09:56,268
Mr. Cooper says that you've
been picking on Sheldon.
214
00:09:56,271 --> 00:09:59,343
- Now, is that true?
- No, Daddy.
215
00:09:59,345 --> 00:10:00,878
Are you sure?
216
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,781
Okay, go wash up for dinner.
217
00:10:03,783 --> 00:10:06,549
I don't know what to tell you, George.
218
00:10:06,552 --> 00:10:07,984
I mean, is it, is it possible
219
00:10:07,987 --> 00:10:09,809
your son has a little crush on her?
220
00:10:09,812 --> 00:10:11,812
Oh, I don't think he's wired that way.
221
00:10:11,815 --> 00:10:14,202
Oh, are you saying that he's a...
222
00:10:14,205 --> 00:10:17,228
No, no, I'm saying he's
a bookworm. [CHUCKLES]
223
00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:20,464
Unless she's math or a
dictionary, he ain't interested.
224
00:10:20,466 --> 00:10:22,066
- Mm.
- Yeah.
225
00:10:22,068 --> 00:10:24,635
Thanks for hearin' me out.
226
00:10:24,637 --> 00:10:27,049
Your wife sent you
over here, didn't she?
227
00:10:27,052 --> 00:10:28,874
- I don't want to talk about it.
- [CHUCKLES]
228
00:10:28,877 --> 00:10:30,073
I bet she did!
229
00:10:30,076 --> 00:10:31,375
Not talkin' about it!
230
00:10:31,377 --> 00:10:32,877
Tell her I said hi!
231
00:10:32,879 --> 00:10:34,712
[CHUCKLES]
232
00:10:37,026 --> 00:10:38,382
How'd it go?
233
00:10:38,384 --> 00:10:40,751
Uh, good. Yeah.
234
00:10:40,753 --> 00:10:42,221
I handled it.
235
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:43,690
Oh, thank the Lord.
236
00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:45,522
Yeah. Me and the Lord.
237
00:10:45,525 --> 00:10:47,002
Team effort.
238
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:52,930
[WHIRRING]
239
00:11:02,842 --> 00:11:04,976
Hello, Bobbi.
240
00:11:04,978 --> 00:11:07,545
You told on me.
241
00:11:07,547 --> 00:11:09,580
Well, actually, my brother
242
00:11:09,582 --> 00:11:13,017
figured it out, so, technically,
I would argue that I didn't.
243
00:11:13,019 --> 00:11:15,119
Doesn't matter.
244
00:11:15,121 --> 00:11:17,688
Uh, I should let you know,
245
00:11:17,690 --> 00:11:19,390
I've read a book on jiu-jitsu.
246
00:11:19,392 --> 00:11:22,627
And I'm prepared to throw it at you.
247
00:11:25,338 --> 00:11:27,765
[SCREAMING]
248
00:11:27,767 --> 00:11:29,567
Shelly, it's just Bactine.
249
00:11:30,403 --> 00:11:31,569
Aah!
250
00:11:31,571 --> 00:11:34,127
I didn't even put it on you yet.
251
00:11:34,130 --> 00:11:35,907
[SHUSHING SOFTLY]
252
00:11:35,909 --> 00:11:38,242
You want to tell me what happened?
253
00:11:38,244 --> 00:11:41,046
Bobbi Sparks came into the garage...
254
00:11:41,049 --> 00:11:42,619
And she attacked you?
255
00:11:42,622 --> 00:11:45,515
Not exactly. I tried
to use jiu-jitsu on her,
256
00:11:45,518 --> 00:11:47,051
but I tripped and fell.
257
00:11:47,053 --> 00:11:50,978
Aw, baby. I'm so sorry you're
havin' to deal with this.
258
00:11:50,981 --> 00:11:52,170
It's okay.
259
00:11:52,173 --> 00:11:54,716
German philosopher
Friedrich Nietzsche said,
260
00:11:54,719 --> 00:11:57,695
"That which does not
kill us makes us stronger."
261
00:11:57,697 --> 00:11:59,813
And do you feel stronger?
262
00:12:00,833 --> 00:12:02,566
No.
263
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:05,202
How are the knees?
264
00:12:05,204 --> 00:12:06,771
Better, thank you.
265
00:12:06,773 --> 00:12:08,506
Good.
266
00:12:08,508 --> 00:12:11,263
And regarding this jiu-jitsu
stuff, you should know
267
00:12:11,266 --> 00:12:13,798
that a man's not supposed
to raise his hand to a woman.
268
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:16,430
Oh, I won't. I don't
want to hurt myself again.
269
00:12:19,881 --> 00:12:23,349
Did you ever have a bully
when you were growing up?
270
00:12:23,352 --> 00:12:25,243
Have you met your grandma?
271
00:12:27,326 --> 00:12:29,827
I thought you said you
handled it next door.
272
00:12:29,829 --> 00:12:31,594
I did say that.
273
00:12:33,915 --> 00:12:35,032
Where you goin'?
274
00:12:35,034 --> 00:12:36,798
To handle it.
275
00:12:36,801 --> 00:12:39,103
[QUIETLY]: Should've been
you in the first place.
276
00:12:39,105 --> 00:12:40,337
What?
277
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:41,505
Good luck!
278
00:12:41,507 --> 00:12:44,041
[DOOR SHUTS]
279
00:12:44,043 --> 00:12:47,311
Way to go, Scooby! That's my newshound!
280
00:12:48,295 --> 00:12:51,029
Missy, I could really use your help.
281
00:12:51,032 --> 00:12:52,116
With what?
282
00:12:52,118 --> 00:12:54,585
I'm being bullied by Bobbi Sparks.
283
00:12:54,587 --> 00:12:56,253
Hilarious. Go on.
284
00:12:56,255 --> 00:12:57,488
Madame Doo!
285
00:12:57,490 --> 00:12:59,023
That's me!
286
00:12:59,025 --> 00:13:02,795
Mom says a man should never
raise his hand to a woman.
287
00:13:02,798 --> 00:13:05,318
But I believe I've found a loophole.
288
00:13:05,321 --> 00:13:07,364
You're a woman, so
you're allowed to hit her
289
00:13:07,366 --> 00:13:08,632
as much as you want.
290
00:13:08,634 --> 00:13:10,102
Why would I do that?
291
00:13:10,105 --> 00:13:11,569
Because I'm willing to pay you.
292
00:13:11,571 --> 00:13:12,636
How much?
293
00:13:12,639 --> 00:13:14,795
My life savings, four dollars.
294
00:13:14,798 --> 00:13:16,513
That's a good start.
295
00:13:16,516 --> 00:13:19,009
Now, let's talk TV privileges.
296
00:13:19,011 --> 00:13:20,277
What do you want?
297
00:13:20,279 --> 00:13:22,913
Complete control every
afternoon for two months.
298
00:13:22,915 --> 00:13:25,116
That's when Professor Proton is on.
299
00:13:25,118 --> 00:13:27,321
I know. Sucks for you.
300
00:13:28,654 --> 00:13:30,087
[SIGHS]
301
00:13:33,993 --> 00:13:36,494
I'm on fire!
302
00:13:36,496 --> 00:13:38,329
[LAUGHS]
303
00:13:38,331 --> 00:13:39,697
Hello, Brenda.
304
00:13:39,699 --> 00:13:41,365
Oh, hey, Mary.
305
00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:42,399
How many lanes you need?
306
00:13:42,401 --> 00:13:44,768
Actually, I'm here to talk to you.
307
00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:47,443
Seems that our kids are
havin' a little problem.
308
00:13:47,446 --> 00:13:49,340
Yeah. Herschel told me.
309
00:13:49,342 --> 00:13:51,308
Oh, good, good.
310
00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:53,818
So, I was wondering what
you're plannin' to do about it,
311
00:13:53,821 --> 00:13:56,388
'cause the situation doesn't
seem to be gettin' any better.
312
00:13:56,391 --> 00:13:58,060
Well, if you haven't noticed,
313
00:13:58,063 --> 00:13:59,783
I'm at work right now.
314
00:13:59,785 --> 00:14:01,719
I see that.
315
00:14:01,721 --> 00:14:03,055
But you understand
316
00:14:03,058 --> 00:14:05,356
that your daughter's
being abusive to my son.
317
00:14:05,358 --> 00:14:08,726
Well, maybe your son
needs to grow a pair.
318
00:14:08,728 --> 00:14:10,661
And in due time, he will.
319
00:14:10,663 --> 00:14:12,329
But right now, I expect you
320
00:14:12,331 --> 00:14:14,498
to teach your children how to behave.
321
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,631
Connie Tucker to the front desk, please.
322
00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:20,371
Connie Tucker.
323
00:14:20,373 --> 00:14:21,906
Why are you calling her?
324
00:14:21,908 --> 00:14:24,138
You say my daughter's
harassing your son.
325
00:14:24,141 --> 00:14:26,710
Well, her daughter's harassing me.
326
00:14:26,712 --> 00:14:28,646
Hey, Mary.
327
00:14:28,648 --> 00:14:30,814
- What are you doin' here?
- Well,
328
00:14:30,816 --> 00:14:33,684
I was hopin' to have a rational
conversation about Shelly,
329
00:14:33,686 --> 00:14:35,819
but there's only one
person being rational.
330
00:14:35,822 --> 00:14:37,521
[GRUNTS] Uh, and it ain't you.
331
00:14:37,524 --> 00:14:39,623
Could you excuse us for just a minute?
332
00:14:43,095 --> 00:14:44,895
Do you understand that
you are in the place
333
00:14:44,897 --> 00:14:47,097
where I socialize three
to four days a week?
334
00:14:47,099 --> 00:14:49,500
So you care more about
bowling than your grandson?
335
00:14:49,502 --> 00:14:50,834
Of course not. I'm just saying
336
00:14:50,837 --> 00:14:52,603
maybe there's a better
way to go about it.
337
00:14:52,605 --> 00:14:55,005
Now, I'm warnin' you,
Brenda is one mean...
338
00:14:55,007 --> 00:14:56,740
I know you don't like bad language,
339
00:14:56,742 --> 00:14:59,410
but we are in a bowling
alley... One mean bitch.
340
00:14:59,412 --> 00:15:01,920
Well, I can be mean, too.
341
00:15:01,923 --> 00:15:04,615
Okay, you listen to me. You get your kid
342
00:15:04,617 --> 00:15:05,749
in line or I...
343
00:15:05,751 --> 00:15:07,951
What are you doing?
344
00:15:07,954 --> 00:15:08,986
Get out of here.
345
00:15:08,988 --> 00:15:10,621
This is my place of business.
346
00:15:11,891 --> 00:15:14,225
And now I see where
your daughter gets it.
347
00:15:14,227 --> 00:15:15,243
BRENDA: You know what?
348
00:15:15,246 --> 00:15:17,045
I have been nothin' but nice
349
00:15:17,048 --> 00:15:19,263
to you and your family
since the day y'all moved in,
350
00:15:19,265 --> 00:15:20,584
and I'm over it.
351
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,099
Watching you walk around all holier
352
00:15:22,101 --> 00:15:23,475
than thou, like you're better
353
00:15:23,478 --> 00:15:24,615
than everyone else.
354
00:15:24,618 --> 00:15:25,703
Well, guess what,
355
00:15:25,705 --> 00:15:27,063
you're not.
356
00:15:28,908 --> 00:15:31,446
I'm gonna pray for you.
357
00:15:34,673 --> 00:15:37,948
She says that to me all the time.
358
00:15:37,951 --> 00:15:40,204
I'm not even sure she does it.
359
00:15:48,446 --> 00:15:49,712
How'd it go?
360
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:51,806
I don't want to talk about it.
361
00:15:51,809 --> 00:15:53,875
[SNIFFS] Is that pine?
362
00:15:53,877 --> 00:15:55,510
We're not talkin' about it.
363
00:15:55,512 --> 00:15:57,679
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- And you get that!
364
00:16:03,218 --> 00:16:04,384
Herschel.
365
00:16:04,387 --> 00:16:05,419
Hey, George.
366
00:16:05,422 --> 00:16:07,012
It has come to my attention
367
00:16:07,015 --> 00:16:09,691
that your wife went
to speak with my wife
368
00:16:09,693 --> 00:16:11,326
at her place of work,
369
00:16:11,328 --> 00:16:13,228
- and, uh...
- She send you over here?
370
00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:16,431
Uh, the-the important thing
is that I'm here to tell you
371
00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:19,234
that, uh, Mary's behavior
was inappropriate.
372
00:16:19,236 --> 00:16:20,969
You know, it's interesting.
373
00:16:20,971 --> 00:16:22,904
When I came to your
house, you were laughin',
374
00:16:22,906 --> 00:16:23,976
and...
375
00:16:23,979 --> 00:16:25,540
now you're all serious.
376
00:16:25,542 --> 00:16:27,009
Why is that?
377
00:16:27,011 --> 00:16:28,977
What do you say we go talk about this
378
00:16:28,979 --> 00:16:30,779
somewhere a little more comfortable?
379
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,547
MARY [SHARPLY]: Who's at the door?
380
00:16:37,888 --> 00:16:40,088
[CHICKENS CLUCKING]
381
00:16:41,759 --> 00:16:44,259
Make yourself at home.
382
00:16:44,261 --> 00:16:45,360
Oh, boy.
383
00:16:45,362 --> 00:16:46,695
You hang out in here?
384
00:16:46,697 --> 00:16:47,796
Sure.
385
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,064
Once you get used to the smell,
386
00:16:49,066 --> 00:16:50,905
it's not so bad. [CHUCKLES]
387
00:16:50,908 --> 00:16:52,480
I coach a high school football team.
388
00:16:52,483 --> 00:16:53,723
This smells like petunias.
389
00:16:53,726 --> 00:16:55,270
[LAUGHS] I like to...
390
00:16:55,272 --> 00:16:57,718
take a break from the family and...
391
00:16:57,721 --> 00:17:00,542
come out here and watch the games.
392
00:17:00,544 --> 00:17:02,244
- Ooh!
- [CHUCKLES]
393
00:17:02,246 --> 00:17:03,566
[MUSIC PLAYING]
394
00:17:03,569 --> 00:17:05,447
Your wife don't mind?
395
00:17:05,449 --> 00:17:06,581
She don't know.
396
00:17:06,583 --> 00:17:08,083
She's scared to death of chickens.
397
00:17:08,085 --> 00:17:09,918
- Is that right?
- Once I found out,
398
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,421
buildin' this coop was a no-brainer.
399
00:17:12,423 --> 00:17:14,356
[LAUGHING]
400
00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:16,687
♪ I sure did love... ♪
401
00:17:20,964 --> 00:17:22,631
You were gone so long.
402
00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:23,999
How did it go?
403
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,710
Well...
404
00:17:25,713 --> 00:17:27,602
[ENGLISH ACCENT]: One lump or two?
405
00:17:27,604 --> 00:17:30,005
Two, please.
406
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,673
Billy?
407
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:34,343
Why would I want lumpy tea?
408
00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:35,777
Isn't he pretty?
409
00:17:35,779 --> 00:17:36,945
Very pretty.
410
00:17:36,947 --> 00:17:39,214
I feel pretty.
411
00:17:39,216 --> 00:17:43,552
♪ Girl, you know it's true ♪
412
00:17:43,554 --> 00:17:45,620
♪ My love... ♪
413
00:17:45,622 --> 00:17:47,489
I handled it.
414
00:17:47,491 --> 00:17:49,558
Thank you so much.
415
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,272
We're family. It's what we do.
416
00:17:52,996 --> 00:17:56,098
[HERSCHEL AND GEORGE SR. CHUCKLING]
417
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:58,767
Listen, I'm sorry my wife
went down to the bowling alley.
418
00:17:58,769 --> 00:18:01,780
Please, I'm sorry Brenda
made me come to your door.
419
00:18:01,783 --> 00:18:02,916
I'm not.
420
00:18:02,919 --> 00:18:05,307
This is the most fun I've had all week.
421
00:18:05,309 --> 00:18:08,507
I-I feel bad about the
whole thing with the kids.
422
00:18:08,510 --> 00:18:10,411
Hey, it happens.
423
00:18:10,414 --> 00:18:13,148
I know, but Bobbi shouldn't be
beatin' on Sheldon like that.
424
00:18:13,150 --> 00:18:14,887
- It's not okay.
- What's not okay
425
00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:17,185
is Sheldon gettin' beat
up by a little girl.
426
00:18:17,187 --> 00:18:18,653
Well...
427
00:18:18,655 --> 00:18:19,955
Yeah.
428
00:18:19,957 --> 00:18:21,790
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
429
00:18:21,792 --> 00:18:23,784
Look, I'll talk to Bobbi.
430
00:18:23,787 --> 00:18:25,887
I don't know if it'll
help, but I'll try.
431
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:28,196
- Hey, you're a good man.
- Mm.
432
00:18:28,198 --> 00:18:30,665
Yeah, I-I should be headin' back.
433
00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:31,999
Mm.
434
00:18:32,002 --> 00:18:34,669
All right, well, look,
come on by anytime.
435
00:18:34,671 --> 00:18:36,238
Yeah.
436
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,941
You know, we should obably
get our stories straight
437
00:18:38,944 --> 00:18:40,976
before we talk to our respective...
438
00:18:40,978 --> 00:18:42,679
- mates.
- Sure.
439
00:18:42,682 --> 00:18:44,513
What do you want to say?
440
00:18:44,515 --> 00:18:46,181
How 'bout this?
441
00:18:46,183 --> 00:18:48,183
We had words,
442
00:18:48,185 --> 00:18:49,918
it almost got ugly,
443
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,386
but we came to an understanding.
444
00:18:51,388 --> 00:18:52,499
- I like that.
- Yeah.
445
00:18:52,502 --> 00:18:53,802
You want to take a swing at me?
446
00:18:53,805 --> 00:18:54,870
Make it look real?
447
00:18:54,873 --> 00:18:58,359
I have a freakishly
high tolerance for pain.
448
00:18:58,362 --> 00:19:00,655
No, no. But you're sweet for offering.
449
00:19:00,658 --> 00:19:03,325
- You have a good night.
- You, too, pal. [CHUCKLES]
450
00:19:03,328 --> 00:19:04,632
BRENDA: Herschel!
451
00:19:04,635 --> 00:19:06,488
Where the hell are you?!
452
00:19:06,491 --> 00:19:07,803
Shh.
453
00:19:07,805 --> 00:19:10,372
[QUIETLY]: I built a
hidey-hole under here,
454
00:19:10,374 --> 00:19:13,642
but there's only room for one of us.
455
00:19:13,644 --> 00:19:16,011
Where is that fat dumbass?
456
00:19:16,013 --> 00:19:19,815
Believe it or not, that means
I'm gettin' lucky tonight.
457
00:19:19,817 --> 00:19:22,350
Y'all have an odd relationship.
458
00:19:22,352 --> 00:19:25,086
Love is a mysterious thing.
459
00:19:25,088 --> 00:19:26,858
BRENDA: Herschel!
460
00:19:30,696 --> 00:19:33,595
ADULT SHELDON: Existing in a
world of predators isn't easy,
461
00:19:33,598 --> 00:19:36,969
but we prey have developed
several natural defenses
462
00:19:36,972 --> 00:19:38,238
to help us survive.
463
00:19:38,241 --> 00:19:39,768
There's playing dead,
464
00:19:39,771 --> 00:19:42,224
- warning calls, camouflage...
- [BICYCLE BELL RINGS]
465
00:19:42,227 --> 00:19:44,008
♪ ♪
466
00:19:44,011 --> 00:19:46,912
and, last but certainly not least,
467
00:19:46,915 --> 00:19:48,710
good old-fashioned running away.
468
00:19:48,713 --> 00:19:50,046
[SCREAMING]
469
00:19:55,620 --> 00:19:57,875
A little screaming never hurts either.
470
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,071
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