1
00:00:02,049 --> 00:00:04,023
- Abigail Baker?
- Here.
2
00:00:04,025 --> 00:00:05,324
Georgie Cooper?
3
00:00:05,326 --> 00:00:06,659
Here.
4
00:00:06,661 --> 00:00:08,295
Sheldon Cooper?
5
00:00:10,231 --> 00:00:11,864
Georgie, where's your brother?
6
00:00:11,866 --> 00:00:14,199
I don't know.
7
00:00:14,201 --> 00:00:16,001
Good enough for me. Melissa Dixon?
8
00:00:16,003 --> 00:00:18,204
♪ ♪
9
00:00:25,124 --> 00:00:27,624
ADULT SHELDON: Since I no
longer had a college class
10
00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:30,757
with Dr. Sturgis to stoke
my intellectual fire,
11
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:33,780
I needed to find someone
else who was up to the task
12
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:35,487
of being my mentor.
13
00:00:35,489 --> 00:00:36,689
A great mind.
14
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A once-in-a-generation thinker.
15
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Fortunately, my schedule was wide open.
16
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♪ ♪
17
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[EXHALES]
18
00:00:52,325 --> 00:00:54,992
School's in session.
19
00:00:54,995 --> 00:00:57,929
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
20
00:00:57,932 --> 00:01:00,646
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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00:01:00,648 --> 00:01:03,491
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
22
00:01:03,494 --> 00:01:06,350
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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00:01:06,353 --> 00:01:13,002
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
24
00:01:14,695 --> 00:01:17,196
Pastor Jeff, I just
need your signature...
25
00:01:17,198 --> 00:01:18,664
Oh. Uh, sorry.
26
00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:20,369
I didn't realize you had a guest.
27
00:01:20,372 --> 00:01:22,171
It's quite all right.
You remember Robin?
28
00:01:22,174 --> 00:01:23,535
Of course.
29
00:01:23,537 --> 00:01:25,371
- So nice to see you again.
- You, too.
30
00:01:25,373 --> 00:01:27,202
- Well, I don't want to interrupt.
- Actually,
31
00:01:27,205 --> 00:01:29,319
I was just fixin' to head out.
32
00:01:29,322 --> 00:01:30,609
- Already?
- Yeah.
33
00:01:30,611 --> 00:01:33,212
Discharged my firearm
at a muskrat yesterday.
34
00:01:33,214 --> 00:01:34,914
Lot of paperwork. [CHUCKLES]
35
00:01:35,611 --> 00:01:36,815
See you soon?
36
00:01:36,817 --> 00:01:39,018
- Yes, you will.
- [CHUCKLES]
37
00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:40,587
- Bye, Mrs. Cooper.
- Bye.
38
00:01:42,356 --> 00:01:44,472
That seems to be going well.
39
00:01:44,475 --> 00:01:46,108
It's going really well.
40
00:01:46,111 --> 00:01:47,993
I like her so much.
41
00:01:47,995 --> 00:01:49,629
Why do you sound sad about it?
42
00:01:50,665 --> 00:01:53,967
Well, this is hard
for me to say out loud.
43
00:01:57,271 --> 00:02:01,240
But when I'm around her,
I find myself having...
44
00:02:01,242 --> 00:02:02,975
you know.
45
00:02:02,977 --> 00:02:04,611
I don't know.
46
00:02:06,422 --> 00:02:07,921
[WHISPERS]: Man thoughts.
47
00:02:07,924 --> 00:02:10,554
Oh. But... you're the pastor.
48
00:02:10,557 --> 00:02:12,257
You can't act on those.
49
00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:13,852
Hence my sadness.
50
00:02:13,854 --> 00:02:15,283
What are you gonna do?
51
00:02:15,286 --> 00:02:16,452
I'm not sure.
52
00:02:16,455 --> 00:02:18,288
I can't engage in a
physical relationship
53
00:02:18,291 --> 00:02:20,260
outside of holy matrimony.
54
00:02:21,388 --> 00:02:22,546
Right?
55
00:02:22,549 --> 00:02:24,997
- Right.
- Right.
56
00:02:24,999 --> 00:02:27,200
♪ ♪
57
00:02:31,009 --> 00:02:32,799
A solution is a homogenous mixture
58
00:02:32,802 --> 00:02:34,935
consisting of a solute and a solvent.
59
00:02:34,938 --> 00:02:36,654
The solute is the substance
60
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,410
that is being dissolved...
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00:02:38,412 --> 00:02:40,613
♪ ♪
62
00:02:42,149 --> 00:02:44,283
A squared plus B squared
63
00:02:44,285 --> 00:02:45,550
equals...?
64
00:02:45,552 --> 00:02:47,754
♪ ♪
65
00:02:50,925 --> 00:02:52,525
[BELL RINGS]
66
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:54,440
Aw.
67
00:02:56,063 --> 00:02:57,963
And Pastor Jeff asked me
68
00:02:57,965 --> 00:03:01,566
to hold him accountable so he
doesn't succumb to temptation.
69
00:03:01,568 --> 00:03:03,268
Well, how the heck you do that?
70
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,603
I'm not sure.
71
00:03:04,605 --> 00:03:08,573
Probably have to give him
the stink eye every so often.
72
00:03:08,576 --> 00:03:10,623
The pastor's been married before.
73
00:03:10,626 --> 00:03:11,843
Is it really that big a deal?
74
00:03:11,845 --> 00:03:14,709
Yes, George. It states
very clearly in the Bible:
75
00:03:14,712 --> 00:03:18,116
"Among you there must not
be even a hint of...
76
00:03:18,118 --> 00:03:19,498
[HUSHED]: sexual...
77
00:03:19,501 --> 00:03:21,086
immorality.
78
00:03:21,088 --> 00:03:22,955
That book is a bummer sometimes.
79
00:03:22,957 --> 00:03:24,022
It's no joke.
80
00:03:24,024 --> 00:03:25,388
He could lose his job.
81
00:03:25,391 --> 00:03:26,858
I guess I just don't get it.
82
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:29,661
Maybe because you only go to
church when there's a bake sale.
83
00:03:29,663 --> 00:03:31,163
- That's not nice.
- It's true.
84
00:03:31,165 --> 00:03:33,066
Doesn't make it nice.
85
00:03:34,768 --> 00:03:36,035
♪ ♪
86
00:03:44,945 --> 00:03:47,746
Everything all right with Sheldon?
87
00:03:47,748 --> 00:03:49,548
How much time you got?
88
00:03:49,550 --> 00:03:52,351
- Why?
- Hasn't been in P.E. since Monday.
89
00:03:52,353 --> 00:03:53,685
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
90
00:03:53,687 --> 00:03:55,087
He's here. I drove him.
91
00:03:55,089 --> 00:03:57,689
You check the places
they like to stuff him?
92
00:03:57,691 --> 00:03:59,874
Lockers, trash cans,
93
00:03:59,877 --> 00:04:01,877
those bags we put the footballs in.
94
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:02,912
Nothing.
95
00:04:02,915 --> 00:04:04,998
- Top of the flagpole?
- Nope.
96
00:04:07,368 --> 00:04:09,334
Hey, Hubert.
97
00:04:09,337 --> 00:04:10,999
Was Sheldon in class today?
98
00:04:11,002 --> 00:04:12,701
Nope. Haven't seen him all week.
99
00:04:12,704 --> 00:04:14,539
Weren't you gonna say anything?
100
00:04:14,541 --> 00:04:16,509
I didn't want to jinx it.
101
00:04:19,346 --> 00:04:21,513
So he hasn't been in
any of your classes?
102
00:04:21,515 --> 00:04:23,215
- Mm-mm, not a one.
- Nope.
103
00:04:23,217 --> 00:04:24,850
But I bring him here, I take him home...
104
00:04:24,852 --> 00:04:26,421
he's got to be somewhere
in the building.
105
00:04:26,423 --> 00:04:28,567
Mm, I might've seen him in the library.
106
00:04:28,570 --> 00:04:30,170
But at this point, I sometimes think
107
00:04:30,173 --> 00:04:32,123
I see him when I'm alone in my house.
108
00:04:32,126 --> 00:04:34,159
Like that creepy Chucky
doll in the movies?
109
00:04:34,161 --> 00:04:36,228
[LAUGHS]: Exactly!
110
00:04:36,230 --> 00:04:37,697
[BOTH LAUGHING]
111
00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:43,584
Hey, Tam. I can't find Sheldon.
112
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,803
You know where he is?
113
00:04:44,805 --> 00:04:46,805
I promised not to say.
114
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:47,806
Tam...
115
00:04:47,808 --> 00:04:49,909
Lucky for you I'm weak.
116
00:04:51,445 --> 00:04:52,477
Are you kidding me?
117
00:04:52,479 --> 00:04:54,446
I knew Tam was weak.
118
00:04:54,448 --> 00:04:55,881
What do you think you're doing?
119
00:04:55,883 --> 00:04:58,146
Exploring the impact
of the French invasion
120
00:04:58,149 --> 00:05:00,521
on Imperial Russian society.
121
00:05:00,524 --> 00:05:01,990
Well, get out of here.
122
00:05:01,993 --> 00:05:03,248
You're going back to class.
123
00:05:03,251 --> 00:05:04,322
No, I'm not.
124
00:05:04,324 --> 00:05:05,956
Excuse me?
125
00:05:05,959 --> 00:05:07,740
I don't learn anything in class.
126
00:05:07,743 --> 00:05:09,694
But in here I've taught
myself the applications
127
00:05:09,696 --> 00:05:11,352
of gravitational lensing,
128
00:05:11,355 --> 00:05:13,398
Faraday's law of magnetic induction,
129
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,532
and how to whistle.
130
00:05:14,534 --> 00:05:15,734
[BLOWS AIR]
131
00:05:15,736 --> 00:05:17,836
Well, sound came out yesterday.
132
00:05:17,838 --> 00:05:20,205
Y-You can't spend your
day in a broom closet.
133
00:05:20,207 --> 00:05:22,123
It's no longer a broom closet.
134
00:05:22,126 --> 00:05:25,011
It's now a citadel of higher learning.
135
00:05:32,185 --> 00:05:35,220
Which one says "Robin, I like you"
136
00:05:35,222 --> 00:05:37,552
but also says "God is watching,
137
00:05:37,555 --> 00:05:38,723
[WHISPERS]: be cool"?
138
00:05:38,726 --> 00:05:40,416
- The blue one.
- [INTERCOM BEEPS]
139
00:05:40,419 --> 00:05:42,786
PEG: Mary, your husband's on the line.
140
00:05:42,789 --> 00:05:44,928
- Excuse me.
- Yeah, blue.
141
00:05:44,931 --> 00:05:47,314
Definitely blue.
142
00:05:47,317 --> 00:05:48,583
Although...
143
00:05:48,586 --> 00:05:49,743
Everything okay?
144
00:05:49,746 --> 00:05:51,569
Sheldon locked himself
in a broom closet,
145
00:05:51,571 --> 00:05:53,532
and he's refusing to go to class.
146
00:05:53,535 --> 00:05:55,118
What's he doing in a closet?
147
00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,721
Apparently, learning about Russia.
148
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:57,696
[SIGHS]: Well,
149
00:05:57,699 --> 00:05:58,932
what do you want me to do?
150
00:05:58,935 --> 00:06:00,067
I want you to handle it.
151
00:06:00,070 --> 00:06:02,137
You're right there...
why can't you handle it?
152
00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:04,715
- 'Cause I'm at work.
- So am I.
153
00:06:04,718 --> 00:06:05,954
You know what I mean.
154
00:06:05,957 --> 00:06:07,890
That you have a real job and I don't?
155
00:06:07,893 --> 00:06:10,761
Mary, I have football practice
in ten minutes, and I...
156
00:06:10,764 --> 00:06:12,690
I don't have time to deal with this.
157
00:06:12,693 --> 00:06:15,628
Well, you're gonna have
to, 'cause I'm busy.
158
00:06:16,763 --> 00:06:19,264
You tell him, sister.
159
00:06:19,266 --> 00:06:21,837
The bolo tie's too sexy, right?
160
00:06:23,579 --> 00:06:24,878
Knew it.
161
00:06:24,881 --> 00:06:28,250
Hope you're happy... your
mother and I are fighting now!
162
00:06:31,545 --> 00:06:35,480
There's a closet, it...
My son made a citadel.
163
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,149
Never mind.
164
00:06:39,559 --> 00:06:41,767
- Sheldon, go to your room.
- Gladly.
165
00:06:41,770 --> 00:06:43,229
He's just gonna read in there.
166
00:06:43,232 --> 00:06:44,737
I'd take away Professor Proton.
167
00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:46,674
Stay out of this.
168
00:06:47,509 --> 00:06:49,275
No more Professor Proton!
169
00:06:49,277 --> 00:06:50,410
SHELDON: Aw.
170
00:06:50,412 --> 00:06:51,737
That's how you do it.
171
00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:53,831
I can't believe you didn't
make him go to class.
172
00:06:53,834 --> 00:06:55,882
You told me to handle it; I handled it.
173
00:06:55,885 --> 00:06:57,282
That one's on you.
174
00:06:57,285 --> 00:06:59,909
You didn't handle it. You
didn't do anything.
175
00:06:59,912 --> 00:07:02,374
I had to get to practice,
and I made a decision.
176
00:07:02,377 --> 00:07:05,425
He was in the building, he
was safe, and he was learning.
177
00:07:05,427 --> 00:07:07,963
He is never gonna
improve his social skills
178
00:07:07,966 --> 00:07:09,265
if he's sitting all alone.
179
00:07:09,268 --> 00:07:10,697
He has to be around people.
180
00:07:10,699 --> 00:07:12,699
Sounds like you know what
he needs... go fix it.
181
00:07:12,701 --> 00:07:15,164
'Cause I have to do everything, right?
182
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,784
Oh. Someone's sleeping
on the couch tonight.
183
00:07:17,787 --> 00:07:19,370
Get out of here!
184
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,020
MEEMAW: Well, maybe Shel is
185
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:21,831
just acting out
186
00:07:21,834 --> 00:07:23,383
'cause he doesn't have his college class
187
00:07:23,385 --> 00:07:24,844
to go to anymore.
188
00:07:24,846 --> 00:07:26,890
I could ask John's professor friend.
189
00:07:26,893 --> 00:07:28,982
Maybe he'd let him sit in on a class.
190
00:07:28,984 --> 00:07:31,081
And you are just bringing this up now?
191
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:32,471
I would've said something earlier,
192
00:07:32,474 --> 00:07:34,542
but I was enjoying the fight. [CHUCKLES]
193
00:07:36,925 --> 00:07:38,926
[PHONE RINGING]
194
00:07:40,095 --> 00:07:41,327
Hello?
195
00:07:41,329 --> 00:07:42,495
Hi, Dr. Linkletter.
196
00:07:42,498 --> 00:07:44,632
- It's Connie Tucker.
- Connie.
197
00:07:44,635 --> 00:07:46,370
To what do I owe the pleasure?
198
00:07:46,373 --> 00:07:48,695
- I need a favor.
- Of course. Anything.
199
00:07:48,698 --> 00:07:50,303
Should we discuss it over dinner?
200
00:07:50,305 --> 00:07:51,638
I'll take a rain check on that.
201
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,606
I was hoping
202
00:07:53,608 --> 00:07:57,140
that my grandson could
join in your physics class
203
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,212
until John is, uh...
204
00:07:59,214 --> 00:08:00,279
back.
205
00:08:00,281 --> 00:08:01,881
From the mental hospital?
206
00:08:01,883 --> 00:08:03,306
Yes.
207
00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:06,019
The one he never told
you he'd been in before?
208
00:08:06,021 --> 00:08:07,720
Yes.
209
00:08:07,722 --> 00:08:10,189
A curious ethical choice
on his part, if you ask me.
210
00:08:10,191 --> 00:08:12,025
Can he take the class or not?
211
00:08:12,027 --> 00:08:13,159
Of course.
212
00:08:13,161 --> 00:08:15,618
Although, I never taught a child before.
213
00:08:15,621 --> 00:08:17,498
Is he potty-trained?
214
00:08:19,868 --> 00:08:21,435
[CHUCKLING]
215
00:08:23,621 --> 00:08:25,306
What are you doing?
216
00:08:25,309 --> 00:08:28,307
Watching last week's Professor
Proton in my mind.
217
00:08:28,309 --> 00:08:29,821
MEEMAW [CALLS]: Moon Pie?
218
00:08:29,824 --> 00:08:30,892
[GASPS]
219
00:08:30,895 --> 00:08:33,368
Good news. You could start going
220
00:08:33,371 --> 00:08:35,314
to your college class again.
221
00:08:35,316 --> 00:08:36,824
Dr. Sturgis is back?
222
00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:39,485
No, but his friend Dr. Linkletter
223
00:08:39,488 --> 00:08:41,754
is gonna let you come
and take his class.
224
00:08:41,756 --> 00:08:43,876
But I take Dr. Sturgis's class.
225
00:08:43,879 --> 00:08:45,290
I know, but that's not an option
226
00:08:45,293 --> 00:08:48,148
right now, and Dr. Linkletter's
been nice enough to...
227
00:08:48,151 --> 00:08:50,251
to let you sit in on his.
228
00:08:50,254 --> 00:08:52,432
But I like the way that
Dr. Sturgis teaches.
229
00:08:52,434 --> 00:08:53,700
Well, you might like the way
230
00:08:53,702 --> 00:08:56,074
that Dr. Linkletter teaches even better.
231
00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:58,070
- Is it lecture-based?
- I don't know.
232
00:08:58,073 --> 00:09:00,248
What's his interpretation
of quantum mechanics?
233
00:09:00,251 --> 00:09:02,337
I couldn't say. Where'd
he get his doctorate?
234
00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:05,243
From the University of
Shut Up and Say Thank You.
235
00:09:05,246 --> 00:09:06,880
Thank you.
236
00:09:11,965 --> 00:09:14,399
I thought you were gonna
take out the garbage.
237
00:09:14,402 --> 00:09:16,555
I'm sorry. I was under the impression
238
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,291
you did everything around here.
239
00:09:18,293 --> 00:09:20,693
You really want to start this again?
240
00:09:20,695 --> 00:09:22,995
I contribute plenty,
241
00:09:22,997 --> 00:09:25,164
and it wouldn't kill you to
show a little appreciation.
242
00:09:25,166 --> 00:09:28,567
I'll be sure to do
that... as soon as I finish
243
00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:31,469
the laundry, the dishes, the vacuuming,
244
00:09:31,472 --> 00:09:34,473
the grocery shopping and
helping Missy with her homework.
245
00:09:34,475 --> 00:09:36,609
You like how my job pays
for all the bills, right?
246
00:09:36,611 --> 00:09:39,178
Stop acting like you're
the only one with a job.
247
00:09:39,180 --> 00:09:41,747
GEORGE JR.: Mom! Pastor
Jeff's on the phone.
248
00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,020
I have to take this.
249
00:09:43,023 --> 00:09:44,883
'Course you do.
250
00:09:44,886 --> 00:09:46,853
Hi, Pastor Jeff.
251
00:09:48,089 --> 00:09:49,832
- Everything okay?
- [DOOR OPENS]
252
00:09:49,835 --> 00:09:51,401
JEFF: I'm in trouble.
253
00:09:51,404 --> 00:09:53,235
Robin just got here.
254
00:09:53,238 --> 00:09:56,176
She looks nice, and
she smells even nicer.
255
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:57,411
Come on, now.
256
00:09:57,414 --> 00:10:00,220
Uh, nothing smells better
than eternal salvation.
257
00:10:00,223 --> 00:10:02,068
I know. But we put so much thought
258
00:10:02,070 --> 00:10:03,536
into my clothes, we didn't even think
259
00:10:03,538 --> 00:10:05,126
about what she'd be wearing.
260
00:10:05,129 --> 00:10:06,309
GEORGE JR.: Why?
261
00:10:06,312 --> 00:10:07,573
What's she wearing?
262
00:10:07,575 --> 00:10:10,777
Georgie, you hang up
that phone right now!
263
00:10:14,102 --> 00:10:16,982
I mean, I-I just can't
win. When I step in,
264
00:10:16,985 --> 00:10:19,999
I'm doing it wrong, and when I
don't step in, she yells at me.
265
00:10:20,001 --> 00:10:21,166
I hear you.
266
00:10:21,168 --> 00:10:23,302
So Darlene does the same thing with you?
267
00:10:23,304 --> 00:10:25,137
No. But I'd hate it if she did.
268
00:10:25,139 --> 00:10:26,338
That sounds awful.
269
00:10:26,340 --> 00:10:29,308
So, what do you two fight about?
270
00:10:29,310 --> 00:10:31,143
You know, normal stuff.
271
00:10:31,145 --> 00:10:33,345
Who loves the other one more.
272
00:10:33,347 --> 00:10:35,547
Whose turn it is for a foot rub.
273
00:10:35,549 --> 00:10:37,683
Oh, the other day, we did argue
274
00:10:37,685 --> 00:10:39,752
about which way the
toilet paper should hang.
275
00:10:39,754 --> 00:10:41,287
Who won?
276
00:10:41,289 --> 00:10:42,454
I don't remember.
277
00:10:42,456 --> 00:10:44,791
We just ended up making
love on the bathroom floor.
278
00:10:45,709 --> 00:10:46,775
Thank you, Wayne.
279
00:10:46,778 --> 00:10:48,112
This has been real helpful.
280
00:10:49,063 --> 00:10:50,562
When was the last time
281
00:10:50,564 --> 00:10:53,432
you took Mary out on a date?
282
00:10:53,434 --> 00:10:55,901
I couldn't even tell you.
283
00:10:55,903 --> 00:10:58,304
- Mm. That poor woman.
- Hey.
284
00:10:58,306 --> 00:11:00,172
You're supposed to be on my side.
285
00:11:00,174 --> 00:11:01,407
I'd like to be.
286
00:11:01,409 --> 00:11:04,844
[CHUCKLES]: But you're not
giving me much to work with.
287
00:11:14,839 --> 00:11:16,489
Hey.
288
00:11:23,998 --> 00:11:26,265
[EXHALES]
289
00:11:26,267 --> 00:11:28,667
Smells like you had a good time.
290
00:11:28,669 --> 00:11:31,670
[SIGHS]
291
00:11:31,672 --> 00:11:34,221
How'd you like to go
out for dinner on Friday?
292
00:11:34,224 --> 00:11:35,642
Just you and me.
293
00:11:36,677 --> 00:11:37,910
Why?
294
00:11:37,912 --> 00:11:39,812
'Cause you're my wife.
295
00:11:39,814 --> 00:11:42,481
I was your wife last Friday,
and we didn't go to dinner.
296
00:11:42,483 --> 00:11:44,751
Mary, I'm asking you on a date.
297
00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:48,020
Okay.
298
00:11:48,022 --> 00:11:50,022
[CHUCKLES] Is that a yes?
299
00:11:50,024 --> 00:11:52,525
Sure.
300
00:11:53,561 --> 00:11:56,428
All right, then.
301
00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:58,951
If you did something
stupid, I'm gonna find out.
302
00:12:03,761 --> 00:12:06,562
Same room. Different teacher.
303
00:12:06,565 --> 00:12:08,073
Same night.
304
00:12:08,076 --> 00:12:09,508
Different time.
305
00:12:09,510 --> 00:12:11,448
This is a real roller coaster.
306
00:12:11,451 --> 00:12:13,442
- Yeah, it's wild.
- LINKLETTER: Connie.
307
00:12:13,445 --> 00:12:14,711
So nice to see you.
308
00:12:14,714 --> 00:12:16,472
Nice to see you, too. Sheldon,
309
00:12:16,475 --> 00:12:19,318
- this is Dr. Linkletter.
- Hello.
310
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,852
I've heard so much about you.
311
00:12:20,854 --> 00:12:23,655
Apparently not how I
feel about shaking hands.
312
00:12:23,657 --> 00:12:26,391
And on that fun note,
I'll leave you to it.
313
00:12:26,393 --> 00:12:28,361
Are you sure you wouldn't
like to stay for the lecture?
314
00:12:28,363 --> 00:12:29,729
Oh, no, bad idea.
315
00:12:29,732 --> 00:12:31,129
I'm told I snore.
316
00:12:31,131 --> 00:12:32,397
Darling, I'll be out in the hall
317
00:12:32,399 --> 00:12:34,233
if you need me.
318
00:12:34,235 --> 00:12:37,229
Mm. Just a warning:
319
00:12:37,232 --> 00:12:39,373
today's lecture is rather advanced.
320
00:12:39,376 --> 00:12:40,939
Don't worry. If you get confused,
321
00:12:40,941 --> 00:12:42,809
I'll be right here in the front row.
322
00:12:45,946 --> 00:12:48,146
[SMACKS LIPS]
323
00:12:48,148 --> 00:12:50,148
So, this is nice, huh?
324
00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:52,352
Yes.
325
00:12:56,624 --> 00:12:59,292
[SIGHS]
326
00:13:02,162 --> 00:13:04,330
Lemon in the water.
327
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:09,201
It's weird to look at a
menu and not have to wonder
328
00:13:09,203 --> 00:13:11,103
- what Sheldon won't eat.
- [CHUCKLES]
329
00:13:11,105 --> 00:13:15,574
I-It got easier when he
printed that card for my wallet.
330
00:13:15,576 --> 00:13:18,710
Still don't know where
he got that laminated.
331
00:13:18,712 --> 00:13:20,312
Yeah.
332
00:13:20,314 --> 00:13:21,580
It's just the two of us.
333
00:13:21,582 --> 00:13:23,315
We don't have to talk about the kids.
334
00:13:23,317 --> 00:13:25,585
You're right.
335
00:13:27,388 --> 00:13:30,657
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
336
00:13:31,625 --> 00:13:33,625
You don't think Georgie and Missy
337
00:13:33,627 --> 00:13:36,461
are doing anything stupid, do you?
338
00:13:36,463 --> 00:13:38,864
If Mom knew this was in the house,
339
00:13:38,866 --> 00:13:40,732
- she'd lose her mind.
- I know.
340
00:13:40,734 --> 00:13:42,634
Mom does not like demons.
341
00:13:42,636 --> 00:13:44,428
So, how does it work?
342
00:13:44,431 --> 00:13:46,401
You put your fingertips on it like this,
343
00:13:46,404 --> 00:13:47,690
and you ask it questions.
344
00:13:47,693 --> 00:13:49,474
Then the spirits from beyond
345
00:13:49,476 --> 00:13:52,210
will move you around the
board and answer them.
346
00:13:52,212 --> 00:13:53,646
Whoa.
347
00:13:53,649 --> 00:13:54,947
Let's try it.
348
00:13:55,983 --> 00:13:57,884
Okay.
349
00:14:04,018 --> 00:14:06,682
Pastor Jeff talked about
these in Sunday school.
350
00:14:06,685 --> 00:14:10,162
[WHISPERS]: He called them
Satan's Monopoly board.
351
00:14:10,164 --> 00:14:11,930
Come on.
352
00:14:11,932 --> 00:14:13,633
[EXHALES]
353
00:14:16,170 --> 00:14:17,302
[PHONE RINGING]
354
00:14:17,304 --> 00:14:18,538
I'll get it.
355
00:14:21,108 --> 00:14:22,675
Hello?
356
00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:25,620
It's Pastor Jeff. What do I do?
357
00:14:25,623 --> 00:14:27,380
See what he wants.
358
00:14:28,182 --> 00:14:29,873
What do you want?
359
00:14:29,876 --> 00:14:31,876
Um, is your mom home?
360
00:14:31,879 --> 00:14:33,159
No, she went out with my dad.
361
00:14:33,162 --> 00:14:35,053
- It's just me and Georgie.
- JEFF: Oh.
362
00:14:35,055 --> 00:14:36,188
Okay.
363
00:14:36,190 --> 00:14:39,124
Well, I hope you two
are behaving yourselves.
364
00:14:39,126 --> 00:14:42,194
We are. We're just watching TV.
365
00:14:42,196 --> 00:14:44,262
Okay, bye.
366
00:14:44,264 --> 00:14:45,397
[DIAL TONE SOUNDS]
367
00:14:45,399 --> 00:14:46,765
I just lied to a pastor.
368
00:14:46,767 --> 00:14:49,201
- So?
- So I'm going to hell!
369
00:14:49,203 --> 00:14:51,236
- No, you're not.
- Yes, I am!
370
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:53,068
Sucks for you.
371
00:14:54,131 --> 00:14:55,273
So then we're able to take
372
00:14:55,276 --> 00:14:56,296
the ends of the strings
373
00:14:56,299 --> 00:14:58,444
and connect them to a
ten-dimensional membrane.
374
00:14:58,447 --> 00:15:00,145
Yes, Sheldon.
375
00:15:00,147 --> 00:15:01,446
Dr. Sturgis taught us
376
00:15:01,448 --> 00:15:02,832
that if you leave the strings open,
377
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:04,964
it allows far more possibilities.
378
00:15:04,967 --> 00:15:06,762
We don't believe you
need open strings anymore.
379
00:15:06,764 --> 00:15:10,221
That's an older model
of thinking. Now...
380
00:15:10,224 --> 00:15:11,723
Yes, Sheldon.
381
00:15:11,725 --> 00:15:13,175
Just because something is older
382
00:15:13,178 --> 00:15:15,097
doesn't mean that it's not still good.
383
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,400
Original Star Trek is
older than Next Generation,
384
00:15:17,403 --> 00:15:20,003
but if you think that Mr.
Data is better than Mr. Spock,
385
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,633
you don't know what
you're talking about.
386
00:15:21,635 --> 00:15:23,336
I don't know what you're talking about.
387
00:15:30,778 --> 00:15:32,978
Sorry you're not having a good time.
388
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:34,846
No, I am.
389
00:15:34,848 --> 00:15:37,316
This is lovely.
390
00:15:38,652 --> 00:15:41,087
But can I ask what prompted it?
391
00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:44,070
Well...
392
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:46,073
Wayne and I were discussing marriage,
393
00:15:46,076 --> 00:15:48,593
and he was going on
about how happy he is.
394
00:15:48,595 --> 00:15:51,639
I just wanted to try to work on ours.
395
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:56,053
That's really sweet, George.
396
00:15:57,504 --> 00:15:59,472
So they go on dinner dates like this?
397
00:15:59,475 --> 00:16:00,940
Oh, they do all kinds of stuff.
398
00:16:00,943 --> 00:16:03,175
Line dancing and movie night.
399
00:16:03,177 --> 00:16:06,146
You wouldn't believe what they
got up to in their bathroom.
400
00:16:06,149 --> 00:16:07,612
Where do they find the time?
401
00:16:07,614 --> 00:16:08,947
[LAUGHS]: Well...
402
00:16:08,949 --> 00:16:12,050
Well, they don't have any kids, so...
403
00:16:12,052 --> 00:16:14,820
Son of a bitch. They don't have kids.
404
00:16:14,822 --> 00:16:16,321
That's why they're happy.
405
00:16:16,323 --> 00:16:17,823
- George.
- It's true.
406
00:16:17,825 --> 00:16:20,192
You and I used to be way more fun.
407
00:16:20,194 --> 00:16:22,753
That may be so, but you
can't blame the children.
408
00:16:22,756 --> 00:16:24,600
[CHUCKLES]: Oh, I can, and I am.
409
00:16:24,603 --> 00:16:26,643
Don't get me wrong.
They're great. I love them.
410
00:16:26,646 --> 00:16:30,135
But you got to admit that they
do not make our lives easy.
411
00:16:30,137 --> 00:16:31,770
[SCOFFS]
412
00:16:31,772 --> 00:16:33,972
I suppose there's a...
413
00:16:33,974 --> 00:16:36,274
challenging aspect to them.
414
00:16:36,276 --> 00:16:38,410
There you go. See?
415
00:16:38,412 --> 00:16:41,313
Feels good to say it out loud, right?
416
00:16:41,315 --> 00:16:42,948
Maybe a little.
417
00:16:42,950 --> 00:16:44,716
[CHUCKLES] Hey.
418
00:16:44,718 --> 00:16:46,551
Think about how clean the house would be
419
00:16:46,553 --> 00:16:48,019
if it was just us.
420
00:16:48,021 --> 00:16:49,653
Oh, my.
421
00:16:49,656 --> 00:16:51,560
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
422
00:16:53,594 --> 00:16:56,128
So, what did they do in the bathroom?
423
00:16:58,506 --> 00:17:00,612
I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell.
424
00:17:00,614 --> 00:17:02,815
Relax. Not until you're dead.
425
00:17:03,681 --> 00:17:05,448
You smell really nice.
426
00:17:05,451 --> 00:17:06,565
[CHUCKLES]
427
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,253
Thank you.
428
00:17:08,255 --> 00:17:09,954
It's soap.
429
00:17:09,956 --> 00:17:12,391
I love soap.
430
00:17:16,674 --> 00:17:17,907
[PHONE RINGING]
431
00:17:17,910 --> 00:17:19,277
I'll get it.
432
00:17:19,907 --> 00:17:21,307
Hello?
433
00:17:21,310 --> 00:17:22,357
MISSY: I lied to you.
434
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:23,426
I wasn't watching TV.
435
00:17:23,429 --> 00:17:25,362
I was playing with a Ouija board.
436
00:17:25,365 --> 00:17:27,170
- Uh, who is this?
- Missy Cooper,
437
00:17:27,173 --> 00:17:28,672
and I'm going to hell.
438
00:17:28,675 --> 00:17:30,975
Uh, Missy, you're-you're
not gonna go to hell.
439
00:17:30,977 --> 00:17:32,045
Yes, I am.
440
00:17:32,048 --> 00:17:33,495
God knows what I did.
441
00:17:33,498 --> 00:17:35,714
He sees everything.
442
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:38,583
You're right.
443
00:17:38,585 --> 00:17:42,454
God does see everything.
444
00:17:42,457 --> 00:17:44,616
But He also just saw
you be a good Christian
445
00:17:44,619 --> 00:17:46,256
and tell the truth.
446
00:17:46,259 --> 00:17:49,527
So I promise, your soul is safe.
447
00:17:49,529 --> 00:17:51,334
- You're sure?
- I'm sure.
448
00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,337
If you're lying, you're
going to hell, too.
449
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,666
I'm sure.
450
00:17:54,668 --> 00:17:57,068
[SIGHS] Thank you.
451
00:17:57,070 --> 00:17:58,737
You take care, now.
452
00:18:03,877 --> 00:18:06,344
The Lord just sent me a message.
453
00:18:06,346 --> 00:18:07,946
Really?
454
00:18:07,948 --> 00:18:09,614
I'm sorry.
455
00:18:09,616 --> 00:18:11,839
I can't be in a physical relationship
456
00:18:11,842 --> 00:18:13,586
outside of marriage.
457
00:18:14,421 --> 00:18:15,887
Okay. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
458
00:18:15,889 --> 00:18:18,089
I respect that.
459
00:18:18,091 --> 00:18:19,491
Thank you.
460
00:18:19,493 --> 00:18:21,627
So when are we getting married?
461
00:18:22,429 --> 00:18:24,563
Uh...
462
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:27,432
We don't need open strings.
463
00:18:27,434 --> 00:18:29,339
We just connect them to a D-brane.
464
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:31,636
But your theories can't
recreate the known symmetries
465
00:18:31,638 --> 00:18:33,029
of the real world.
466
00:18:33,032 --> 00:18:34,305
Everything okay in here?
467
00:18:34,307 --> 00:18:36,541
More than okay. We're
having a spirited debate
468
00:18:36,543 --> 00:18:37,959
on superstring theory.
469
00:18:37,962 --> 00:18:39,244
Very spirited.
470
00:18:39,246 --> 00:18:40,812
Well, you ready to go home?
471
00:18:40,814 --> 00:18:42,631
Yes. Unless Dr. Linkletter...
472
00:18:42,634 --> 00:18:44,234
He's ready.
473
00:18:44,237 --> 00:18:46,450
Well, I guess we'll see you next week.
474
00:18:46,453 --> 00:18:48,654
Sounds good.
475
00:18:49,856 --> 00:18:51,968
No wonder Sturgis went crazy.
476
00:18:51,971 --> 00:18:57,136
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