1 00:00:08,498 --> 00:00:12,877 CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM 2 00:00:13,085 --> 00:00:15,796 I really shouldn't pay you, honestly. Why should I pay? 3 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:18,299 You talked during the putt. I could've made that putt. 4 00:00:18,382 --> 00:00:20,426 - I was talking pre-putt. - No, you weren't. 5 00:00:20,510 --> 00:00:23,346 Yes, it was. It was pre-putt. It was definitely pre-putt. 6 00:00:23,429 --> 00:00:26,474 - Jeff, did he talk during my putt? - I'm not saying anything. 7 00:00:26,599 --> 00:00:28,309 He just said everything. 8 00:00:28,392 --> 00:00:30,478 - Jeff, you know what Dante said. - What? 9 00:00:30,561 --> 00:00:33,523 The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in time of crisis, 10 00:00:33,606 --> 00:00:34,774 retain their neutrality. 11 00:00:34,857 --> 00:00:37,109 - I don't want to say anything. - You're going straight to Hell. 12 00:00:37,193 --> 00:00:40,696 You're like a desperate guy just grasping at, like, quotes. 13 00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:44,283 - Quotes from Dante over the putt? - Freddy, what's up, kid? 14 00:00:44,367 --> 00:00:46,702 - How you doing, Larry? - Hey, Hal! 15 00:00:46,786 --> 00:00:48,996 - You look good, buddy. - Thank you. 16 00:00:53,292 --> 00:00:55,002 What the fuck did I do? 17 00:00:55,086 --> 00:00:57,296 - That was a snub. - No, no, no. 18 00:00:57,380 --> 00:01:00,466 It wasn't like he didn't even look at me. He looked right at me. 19 00:01:00,550 --> 00:01:02,843 - That was a total snub. - I was uncomfortable. 20 00:01:02,969 --> 00:01:07,223 - What the hell happened with you two? - I set him up on a date with a friend. 21 00:01:07,306 --> 00:01:12,019 Producer named Gabby McAffe, and he hasn't spoken to me since. 22 00:01:12,103 --> 00:01:15,022 - What? - Yeah. I have no idea why. 23 00:01:15,147 --> 00:01:16,691 Did you try and contact him? 24 00:01:16,774 --> 00:01:20,319 Yeah, I texted him, called him, I walked up to him. 25 00:01:20,403 --> 00:01:21,821 What'd he do? 26 00:01:21,904 --> 00:01:25,449 Ignored me. I don't get it. She's beautiful. 27 00:01:25,533 --> 00:01:28,995 She is smart. She is kind. She is great. 28 00:01:29,078 --> 00:01:31,581 How come you didn't fix me up with her if she's so great? 29 00:01:31,664 --> 00:01:33,749 - I don't know. - What's her name? Gabby McAfee? 30 00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:35,960 - Gabby McAfee. - I probably shouldn't even say it. 31 00:01:36,043 --> 00:01:39,088 It's probably common knowledge. You've heard the thing about Hal, right? 32 00:01:39,171 --> 00:01:41,257 - Yeah. - I think the whole club knows. 33 00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:44,719 - I have no idea. - He slept with his mother-in-law. 34 00:01:44,802 --> 00:01:47,638 Hal slept with his mother-in-law? Shut the fuck up. No way. 35 00:01:47,722 --> 00:01:50,516 - You liars. - Okay, what did you hear? 36 00:01:50,975 --> 00:01:53,644 I only heard that he fucked his mother-in-law. 37 00:01:53,728 --> 00:01:55,855 - What did you hear about it? - That's all I got. 38 00:01:55,938 --> 00:02:00,067 - And that led to his divorce. - That's what I heard. 39 00:02:00,401 --> 00:02:02,320 But was it ongoing or one time? 40 00:02:02,403 --> 00:02:05,197 - I think it was a couple of times. - That's what I heard. 41 00:02:06,490 --> 00:02:09,869 - Gabby McAfee. She's something. - Yeah. 42 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,039 She's a beautiful girl. 43 00:02:13,539 --> 00:02:16,292 - You set me up? - I'm gonna ask you one quick question. 44 00:02:16,375 --> 00:02:18,628 Did you fuck your mother-in-law at any point? 45 00:02:20,379 --> 00:02:22,673 'Cause I ain't setting you up if you did. 46 00:02:23,132 --> 00:02:25,468 Okay, I'll call her. No problem. 47 00:02:25,551 --> 00:02:30,056 And you know what else? Maybe I could do a little investigation. 48 00:02:30,139 --> 00:02:31,307 As to... 49 00:02:31,390 --> 00:02:34,560 As to what happened on their date that he would never speak to you again. 50 00:02:35,311 --> 00:02:36,479 All right. Thank you. 51 00:02:36,562 --> 00:02:39,065 That looks good. Look at you, still with the fries. 52 00:02:39,148 --> 00:02:41,651 I love 'em. You want one? Don't even ask. Jump in. 53 00:02:41,734 --> 00:02:42,860 Should I try one? 54 00:02:43,361 --> 00:02:45,946 - You all right? Dad? - Oh, my God! 55 00:02:46,030 --> 00:02:49,450 I think he's having a heart attack! Call 911! 56 00:02:50,493 --> 00:02:51,952 Oh, my! That's Saul Berman. 57 00:02:52,036 --> 00:02:54,580 Dad, come down to the floor. Easy, easy, easy. 58 00:02:54,664 --> 00:02:57,249 Is there a doctor in here? You're all right. Just lay down. 59 00:02:57,333 --> 00:02:59,627 - It looks serious. - It does. 60 00:03:01,337 --> 00:03:03,506 Okay, Dad, just breathe. 61 00:03:03,589 --> 00:03:05,800 I gotcha. Hold my hand. Squeeze my hand. 62 00:03:05,883 --> 00:03:08,260 Here you go. Good, good. 63 00:03:08,344 --> 00:03:10,721 I gotcha. Can you talk? 64 00:03:12,264 --> 00:03:15,851 Want some water? No? We got a doctor coming. 65 00:03:17,770 --> 00:03:20,606 Squeeze as hard as you can. Okay. 66 00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:42,128 Final score, Knicks 101, Sixers, 97. 67 00:03:42,378 --> 00:03:46,090 Tom, what was the problem with the Sixers tonight? 68 00:03:46,674 --> 00:03:48,968 - Hello? - Hey, Freddy. It's me. 69 00:03:49,051 --> 00:03:50,136 How are ya? 70 00:03:50,219 --> 00:03:52,972 I'm on my way to Katsuya to meet Gabby McAfee. 71 00:03:53,055 --> 00:03:55,641 Nice! You're choppin' it up with Gabby. I like it. 72 00:03:55,725 --> 00:03:58,686 I just looked in the mirror, and a button fell off my shirt. 73 00:03:58,769 --> 00:04:01,355 I've got tons of t-shirt exposed. 74 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:05,317 You can't have more than three-quarters of an inch of t-shirt showing. 75 00:04:05,401 --> 00:04:07,486 Would it be okay if I came over and borrowed a shirt? 76 00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:09,113 - I'm right near your house. - Okay. 77 00:04:09,196 --> 00:04:12,366 - You want to come get a shirt? Come. - Okay, great. 78 00:04:14,285 --> 00:04:17,037 Tonight we're gonna get something great for you. 79 00:04:17,121 --> 00:04:18,664 Are you sure you don't want to go t-shirt? 80 00:04:18,748 --> 00:04:21,459 - 'Cause I think it could look good. - T-shirt? Really? 81 00:04:21,542 --> 00:04:23,627 Very sinewy. You look fantastic. 82 00:04:23,711 --> 00:04:28,883 Look at that word you just threw out. You know, people underestimate you. 83 00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:31,927 You're actually a little brighter than you come off. 84 00:04:32,011 --> 00:04:34,805 I bet you're sittin' on some pretty big words too when you need 'em. 85 00:04:34,889 --> 00:04:38,517 - Now, let's take a look. - I want to try for the same palette. 86 00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:41,270 - Yeah, I get it. - Just want to be comfortable. 87 00:04:42,229 --> 00:04:46,150 Oh, God. Jesus! I just burnt the shit out of my hand. 88 00:04:46,942 --> 00:04:49,570 Because I just found something pretty hot. 89 00:04:51,322 --> 00:04:55,868 You tell me, L.D! 90 00:04:57,453 --> 00:04:59,789 Yeah! Very nice item. 91 00:04:59,872 --> 00:05:02,416 You're gonna enjoy it. I think she's gonna enjoy it too. 92 00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,960 - This is great. I'll take it. - I think it's gonna be great. 93 00:05:08,964 --> 00:05:11,717 Thank you, sir. Yes, may I help you? 94 00:05:11,884 --> 00:05:14,887 How do you do? Larry David, table for two. 95 00:05:14,970 --> 00:05:18,766 You're the first one here. Shall I take your umbrella? 96 00:05:18,849 --> 00:05:20,518 I thought it was gonna rain. What happened? 97 00:05:20,601 --> 00:05:23,103 - Don't know. - They said rain. 98 00:05:23,187 --> 00:05:24,897 - I'm not crazy. - Thank you. 99 00:05:25,815 --> 00:05:28,025 - Table, please. - Sure. 100 00:05:28,108 --> 00:05:31,362 - We have a guest. - Thank you for coming in. 101 00:05:34,156 --> 00:05:36,367 Thank you. I love that greeting. 102 00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:40,538 Please, this is your table, sir. And your menu. 103 00:05:41,205 --> 00:05:42,998 And somebody will be right with you, sir. 104 00:05:43,123 --> 00:05:44,834 - Thank you. - Thank you. 105 00:05:47,586 --> 00:05:50,339 There he is. Hi! I'm just meeting Mr. David. 106 00:05:50,464 --> 00:05:53,092 - Okay. Right this way. - Irasshaimase! 107 00:05:54,093 --> 00:05:55,302 - Hello! - Hello! 108 00:05:55,386 --> 00:05:58,180 I'm Gabby, obviously. I love it. 109 00:05:58,264 --> 00:05:59,932 - You love that greeting? - I love it! 110 00:06:00,057 --> 00:06:01,767 Is that the best greeting you've ever had? 111 00:06:01,851 --> 00:06:03,811 Absolutely! And you speak Japanese? 112 00:06:03,894 --> 00:06:06,939 Yeah. I speak six languages, including Guam-ish. 113 00:06:07,022 --> 00:06:09,775 That's what they speak in Guam, on the island of Guam. 114 00:06:09,859 --> 00:06:12,528 Chef say "irasshaimase". 115 00:06:12,611 --> 00:06:15,698 Could you please not say "irasshaimase"? Thank you. 116 00:06:15,781 --> 00:06:16,824 What? 117 00:06:16,907 --> 00:06:20,494 Sushi Chef say, "irasshaimase". Guests don't say, "irasshaimase". 118 00:06:22,663 --> 00:06:24,748 - Sorry. - Thank you for understanding. 119 00:06:24,832 --> 00:06:27,459 And enjoy your dinner. Thank you. 120 00:06:28,043 --> 00:06:31,046 The chef was upset that I said, "irasshaimase"? 121 00:06:31,130 --> 00:06:36,010 I have been here a hundred times. I've never been reprimanded by the host. 122 00:06:36,093 --> 00:06:38,095 Is this the first time you've been reprimanded by a host? 123 00:06:38,178 --> 00:06:40,055 - Alas, no. - No? 124 00:06:40,306 --> 00:06:46,353 Maybe just tonight, first date, we're on our best behavior. Maybe. 125 00:06:47,187 --> 00:06:48,606 I'll try. 126 00:06:51,942 --> 00:06:53,777 - Delicious. - I know. This is my favorite place. 127 00:06:53,861 --> 00:06:57,031 Thank you so much. Larry, I wasn't even gonna come on this date. 128 00:06:57,114 --> 00:06:59,617 I've had such bad luck since my divorce, 129 00:06:59,700 --> 00:07:02,912 but Jeff told me the worst thing that happens, 130 00:07:03,537 --> 00:07:06,248 it doesn't work out, he's a great person to break up with. 131 00:07:06,957 --> 00:07:08,375 - Yeah. I'm great. - Really? 132 00:07:08,459 --> 00:07:12,129 Yeah. Like, if we go out for six months or eight months or whatever, 133 00:07:12,212 --> 00:07:14,632 all you gotta do is say, "Hey, I don't want to see you anymore". 134 00:07:14,715 --> 00:07:16,675 - And I go, "okay". - No drama? 135 00:07:16,926 --> 00:07:18,844 - Zero. - That's a good quality. 136 00:07:18,928 --> 00:07:23,140 - I walk away, and I never give you... - Not another thought. 137 00:07:24,350 --> 00:07:29,396 That's almost like a sociopath, but borderline. 138 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,441 That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. 139 00:07:32,524 --> 00:07:34,360 Well, do you have any other good qualities? 140 00:07:34,485 --> 00:07:36,487 - Yes, I do. - Okay. 141 00:07:38,530 --> 00:07:41,825 - So discrete. - Good at keeping a secret, you think? 142 00:07:42,159 --> 00:07:43,953 Absolutely. 143 00:07:44,370 --> 00:07:48,332 I want us to tell each other something we've never told anybody. 144 00:07:48,415 --> 00:07:50,000 Bring it on. 145 00:07:50,084 --> 00:07:53,420 When I was younger, I was a teacher in high school, 146 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:58,217 and I slept with one of my students. 147 00:07:59,969 --> 00:08:01,845 Excuse me. 148 00:08:03,639 --> 00:08:07,768 Did I just hear you say that you were a teacher in high school, 149 00:08:08,477 --> 00:08:11,021 and you slept with one of your students? Did I get that right? 150 00:08:11,105 --> 00:08:13,023 Consenting people. 151 00:08:14,024 --> 00:08:16,860 - He was 18. - Was he a senior? 152 00:08:17,194 --> 00:08:19,154 - Yeah. - Did you go to the prom? 153 00:08:19,238 --> 00:08:20,489 I'm not gonna go into this. 154 00:08:20,572 --> 00:08:22,950 What was his extra-curricular activity? 155 00:08:23,033 --> 00:08:26,120 He was a basketball player. I'm not saying anything more. 156 00:08:26,203 --> 00:08:28,497 - Did you go to the games? - I told you the secret. 157 00:08:28,580 --> 00:08:30,499 Did he give you a little wink when he was playing? 158 00:08:30,582 --> 00:08:32,626 If he made a shot, did he look over? 159 00:08:32,710 --> 00:08:35,879 - Larry, we need to be done with this. - I'm just curious. What? 160 00:08:36,088 --> 00:08:38,007 Time for you to tell me your secret. 161 00:08:38,173 --> 00:08:40,092 Let's hear it. Come on. 162 00:08:40,342 --> 00:08:41,635 Give it up. 163 00:08:41,844 --> 00:08:44,221 Okay, look. I'll tell you this, okay? 164 00:08:44,304 --> 00:08:46,932 But honestly, 165 00:08:47,016 --> 00:08:52,813 you cannot mention this to anyone, ever. 166 00:08:53,939 --> 00:08:57,317 Larry, trust. Trust. 167 00:08:58,485 --> 00:08:59,695 Okay. 168 00:09:03,365 --> 00:09:09,163 I have a fantastic shortcut to the Valley. Tremendous. 169 00:09:10,789 --> 00:09:12,666 - That's your secret? - Yeah. 170 00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:19,131 I told you that I slept with a student. Your secret is Waze! 171 00:09:19,214 --> 00:09:21,925 There's no comparison between these two secrets. 172 00:09:22,009 --> 00:09:23,802 No, there's not! 173 00:09:23,886 --> 00:09:27,556 My secret improves your quality of life. Your secret's just interesting. 174 00:09:27,639 --> 00:09:32,352 Tell me the shortcut, and I'll be the judge of how useful this "secret" is. 175 00:09:32,728 --> 00:09:38,358 Cosiano, Sepulveda, Mulholland, Longbow, Woodcliff, 176 00:09:38,776 --> 00:09:41,070 Valley Vista. 177 00:09:43,322 --> 00:09:44,615 That's your cousin. 178 00:09:44,698 --> 00:09:47,659 - I gotta write this down. - Are you serious? No. 179 00:09:47,743 --> 00:09:50,871 You lose it, somebody finds it, no good. 180 00:09:50,954 --> 00:09:53,248 Okay, but you can't tell anybody what I said. 181 00:09:53,332 --> 00:09:54,833 What did you say? 182 00:09:54,917 --> 00:09:57,461 That's funny. You're funny! 183 00:09:57,544 --> 00:10:00,923 Hey, let me ask you something. You went out with Hal Berman? 184 00:10:01,006 --> 00:10:02,382 A couple times. 185 00:10:02,466 --> 00:10:04,093 What's the deal? What happened? 186 00:10:04,176 --> 00:10:06,303 I don't know. You'd have to ask him. 187 00:10:07,387 --> 00:10:11,141 You've got to try these Brussels sprouts, Larry. They're amazing. 188 00:10:13,227 --> 00:10:15,229 We have two guests coming in. 189 00:10:15,312 --> 00:10:17,314 Thanks for coming in. 190 00:10:18,107 --> 00:10:19,566 What the... 191 00:10:21,443 --> 00:10:25,823 - Irasshaimase! - Irasshaimase! 192 00:10:46,885 --> 00:10:50,264 I had a great time. That's all I can tell ya. it was a great date. 193 00:10:50,347 --> 00:10:53,475 - Great date? - I don't know what Hal's problem was. 194 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:55,227 What kind of things you talk about? 195 00:10:55,310 --> 00:10:57,229 We talked about general stores. 196 00:10:57,312 --> 00:10:58,981 - You did, huh? - Yeah. 197 00:10:59,565 --> 00:11:02,067 Did you bring your general store photo book with you? 198 00:11:02,151 --> 00:11:05,028 I had photos in my phone of different general stores throughout the country. 199 00:11:05,112 --> 00:11:08,866 That's your passion. That's your great love. 200 00:11:10,033 --> 00:11:12,244 So she was good at conversation? Fun? 201 00:11:12,327 --> 00:11:14,913 The conversation was flowing so easily, 202 00:11:14,997 --> 00:11:17,166 I even left my umbrella at the restaurant. 203 00:11:17,249 --> 00:11:20,210 - I gotta go back and get it later. - But the rest of the date went well? 204 00:11:20,335 --> 00:11:22,796 There was one weird thing. 205 00:11:23,172 --> 00:11:24,464 What was the weird thing? 206 00:11:24,548 --> 00:11:29,178 She wanted to do this thing where we kind of swapped secrets. 207 00:11:29,636 --> 00:11:30,846 What was her secret? 208 00:11:32,723 --> 00:11:36,059 - You know, I'd feel terrible. - It's me. Why would you not tell me? 209 00:11:36,226 --> 00:11:38,312 I wouldn't like myself if I told you. 210 00:11:38,437 --> 00:11:40,689 But you don't like yourself anyway. 211 00:11:41,773 --> 00:11:44,776 You cannot say a word about this to anybody, honestly. 212 00:11:44,860 --> 00:11:46,236 Come on. 213 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,780 Well, she used to be a high school teacher. 214 00:11:50,449 --> 00:11:53,410 - She fucked one of her students. - She fucked one of her students? 215 00:11:53,493 --> 00:11:55,537 She fucked one of her students? 216 00:11:57,706 --> 00:12:01,418 Boy, that didn't take long. You couldn't keep that secret for five seconds! 217 00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:04,421 - I indirectly told him. - But you did! 218 00:12:04,504 --> 00:12:07,841 That's so hot. Crazy hot. Sorry. 219 00:12:07,925 --> 00:12:09,760 That's real hot. That's the shit right there. 220 00:12:09,843 --> 00:12:13,263 I can't think of any teachers that I really wanted to have sex with. 221 00:12:13,347 --> 00:12:16,934 There's only one teacher that I wanted, Mrs. Fish. 222 00:12:17,017 --> 00:12:19,853 I could tell ya that Miss Rogers was not the cause of any tumescence 223 00:12:19,937 --> 00:12:22,606 among the young men in my school. 224 00:12:22,689 --> 00:12:25,234 - What'd she look like? - She was on death's door. 225 00:12:26,735 --> 00:12:29,071 Veins popping out all over her body. 226 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,199 In my case, I fucked a school nurse. 227 00:12:32,282 --> 00:12:35,035 She was fuckin' fine as shit. Every time I had a tummy ache, 228 00:12:35,118 --> 00:12:36,245 I'd tap that ass. 229 00:12:36,328 --> 00:12:38,956 So, did you make up that you had a tummy ache just to go there? 230 00:12:39,039 --> 00:12:42,709 Yeah. She gave me a spoonful of Pepto Bismol and a fuckin' hand job. 231 00:12:42,793 --> 00:12:46,797 Thank you for your contribution. He's got a wild imagination. 232 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,924 Wait. What was your secret? 233 00:12:49,007 --> 00:12:50,676 I can't tell my secret. 234 00:12:50,759 --> 00:12:53,387 - Why? - Because then it's no longer a secret. 235 00:12:53,470 --> 00:12:55,222 Yeah, but it's to me. Go. 236 00:12:55,305 --> 00:12:58,976 Okay. I got a shortcut to the Valley. 237 00:12:59,101 --> 00:13:00,894 - You got a shortcut to the valley? - Yeah. 238 00:13:00,978 --> 00:13:06,358 - You got a shortcut to the Valley? - You fuckin' did it again! 239 00:13:06,441 --> 00:13:08,360 I apologize. 240 00:13:08,485 --> 00:13:11,154 It was two secrets in the space of a few minutes. 241 00:13:11,238 --> 00:13:14,324 But you know a great shortcut to the Valley 242 00:13:14,408 --> 00:13:17,286 and you've never told me? You never told him? 243 00:13:17,369 --> 00:13:19,579 If I tell ya the shortcut, then it's no longer a shortcut. 244 00:13:19,663 --> 00:13:21,957 You're not gettin' the shortcut. Don't give me that look. 245 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:25,335 I know that look. You're not gettin' it. Fix the TV! 246 00:13:25,419 --> 00:13:27,754 I can't fix that TV, man. That TV is fucked. 247 00:13:27,921 --> 00:13:29,506 It ain't gonna work. I tried everything. 248 00:13:29,589 --> 00:13:31,300 - Seriously? - Seriously. 249 00:13:31,383 --> 00:13:33,093 - I need a new one? - You need a new TV. 250 00:13:33,176 --> 00:13:35,846 - I just got a new TV. It's great. - Really? 251 00:13:35,929 --> 00:13:37,889 - Best TV I've ever had. - Is that so? 252 00:13:37,973 --> 00:13:39,516 Yeah. Come over and take a look. 253 00:13:40,642 --> 00:13:42,477 Freddy's shirt. Wait a second. 254 00:13:42,561 --> 00:13:43,854 Let me get something to eat. 255 00:13:43,937 --> 00:13:45,689 Does your TV have picture-in-picture? 256 00:13:46,356 --> 00:13:49,484 Picture-in-picture? That's old. 257 00:13:49,568 --> 00:13:52,654 Look at this! Oh, my God! 258 00:13:53,488 --> 00:13:54,823 - Damn! - What happened? 259 00:13:54,906 --> 00:13:57,284 I spilled soy sauce on it, and I tried to get it out with soap. 260 00:13:57,367 --> 00:14:00,162 - What kind of soap did you use? - You know, just Dial. 261 00:14:00,245 --> 00:14:02,748 Bar soap? That's the worst! 262 00:14:02,831 --> 00:14:04,291 - Really? - God, yeah. 263 00:14:04,374 --> 00:14:06,418 - Soap stains. - Soap stains? 264 00:14:06,501 --> 00:14:07,919 Soap stains. 265 00:14:08,003 --> 00:14:09,671 Who makes a cleaning product that stains? 266 00:14:09,755 --> 00:14:11,340 That's like a Band-Aid that cuts. 267 00:14:11,423 --> 00:14:14,968 Here's a little secret. Freddy's shirt is fucked. 268 00:14:23,769 --> 00:14:24,936 Hey! 269 00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,773 - Hey. - Hi, Hal. 270 00:14:28,273 --> 00:14:31,026 - Hey, Larry. - How's your dad? 271 00:14:31,109 --> 00:14:33,153 You know, not great. 272 00:14:34,279 --> 00:14:36,782 I came to get his lucky rabbit foot he keeps in his locker. 273 00:14:36,865 --> 00:14:38,533 He got a hole-in-one with this. 274 00:14:38,617 --> 00:14:41,870 Maybe I should start playing with a rabbit's foot, huh? 275 00:14:41,953 --> 00:14:43,747 Well, give him my best. 276 00:14:43,830 --> 00:14:46,333 Well, why don't you pray for him, huh? 277 00:14:49,419 --> 00:14:51,296 Come on, Hal. You know, pray? 278 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,548 I'll feel like an idiot. I can't do that. 279 00:14:53,632 --> 00:14:55,967 - Are you kidding me? - l wouldn't even know where to begin. 280 00:14:56,051 --> 00:14:58,553 Do you get on your knees? Do you put your hands together? 281 00:14:58,678 --> 00:15:03,350 You just say, "God, please make Saul Berman live". That's it. 282 00:15:03,475 --> 00:15:04,851 I can't do that. 283 00:15:04,935 --> 00:15:07,396 Do you know that prayer, to Jews, has been integral since 284 00:15:07,479 --> 00:15:09,398 getting out of Egypt, right? 285 00:15:09,481 --> 00:15:13,151 I would submit it's as big a waste of time as watching the Kardashians. 286 00:15:13,235 --> 00:15:15,612 I don't understand you. This is why you join a club, 287 00:15:15,695 --> 00:15:19,533 so that you can be together with other members in a time of need. 288 00:15:19,616 --> 00:15:21,326 No, I joined for the golf. 289 00:15:21,701 --> 00:15:24,830 And you know what? I'm enjoying pickleball too. Have you played? 290 00:15:24,913 --> 00:15:27,374 What if your prayer were the thing that saved him? 291 00:15:27,457 --> 00:15:29,793 - Wait a second, are you praying? - Of course I'm praying. 292 00:15:29,876 --> 00:15:31,920 Let me put myself in God's shoes for a second. 293 00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:34,756 There's the son. The son's praying. 294 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:37,759 I need more than that. I'm gonna need more than that. 295 00:15:38,343 --> 00:15:43,140 Larry David! Okay! I'll save him. 296 00:15:43,223 --> 00:15:44,891 How do you know prayers don't work? 297 00:15:44,975 --> 00:15:46,935 Because I'm bald. 298 00:15:49,271 --> 00:15:52,232 Hey, Hal! You went out with Gabby McAfee, right? 299 00:15:52,315 --> 00:15:53,442 Yeah. 300 00:15:53,525 --> 00:15:55,569 I had a date with her. I'm seeing her again on Saturday night. 301 00:15:55,652 --> 00:15:58,488 - Let me guess. Katsuya? - Yeah. She likes that place. 302 00:15:58,572 --> 00:16:00,031 Yeah, well, good luck. 303 00:16:00,115 --> 00:16:01,908 Whatever happened with you two? 304 00:16:01,992 --> 00:16:06,288 I can tell you this much, Larry. What goes around, comes around. 305 00:16:08,790 --> 00:16:11,168 "What goes around, comes around"? 306 00:16:14,921 --> 00:16:17,632 Hey. How you doing? 307 00:16:18,008 --> 00:16:19,176 Good. 308 00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:21,261 How'd it go? 309 00:16:21,636 --> 00:16:22,679 - The date? - Yeah. 310 00:16:22,762 --> 00:16:24,848 - It went great. - Well, tell me about her. 311 00:16:24,931 --> 00:16:27,058 She's everything Jeff said she was. 312 00:16:27,142 --> 00:16:28,643 That's terrific. 313 00:16:29,102 --> 00:16:33,231 There was unfortunately one casualty from the evening. 314 00:16:33,315 --> 00:16:35,025 What did you do? What happened? 315 00:16:39,946 --> 00:16:41,406 Shirt got ruined. 316 00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:43,617 What the fuck happened to the shirt? 317 00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:46,286 I'm so sorry. The chef yelled out "Irasshaimase" 318 00:16:46,411 --> 00:16:51,416 as I was pouring soy sauce, scared me, and I got it on the shirt. 319 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,168 It looks like you were part of a home-birth. 320 00:16:53,251 --> 00:16:57,339 So soy sauce spilled all over it. I put soap on it, and... 321 00:16:57,464 --> 00:17:00,008 You never put soap on the fabric like this. 322 00:17:00,091 --> 00:17:02,177 I didn't know soap stains. 323 00:17:02,260 --> 00:17:04,262 Fuck. I love this shirt, man. 324 00:17:04,346 --> 00:17:07,307 I'm so sorry. You know, I called the company to replace it, 325 00:17:07,390 --> 00:17:09,142 and they don't make it anymore. 326 00:17:09,684 --> 00:17:12,229 How do you replace someone's favorite shirt? 327 00:17:12,312 --> 00:17:14,564 What? Favorite shirt? What are you talking about? 328 00:17:14,648 --> 00:17:16,691 - You just don't buy another one. - Favorite shirt? 329 00:17:16,775 --> 00:17:19,236 - Yeah, it's my favorite shirt. - You loaned me your favorite shirt? 330 00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:21,196 Why would you loan me your favorite shirt? 331 00:17:21,279 --> 00:17:23,949 Because I'm a friend and you were uncomfortable going on the date. 332 00:17:24,032 --> 00:17:27,619 Still, you don't give out your favorite shirt. Everybody knows that. 333 00:17:27,702 --> 00:17:30,830 What do we do? How do we get out of this? 334 00:17:31,706 --> 00:17:33,959 - I don't know. - This is horrible. 335 00:17:34,042 --> 00:17:36,711 I'm happy to replace it with any shirt you want. We can go shopping. 336 00:17:36,795 --> 00:17:39,506 I think the thing that would mean something to me 337 00:17:39,589 --> 00:17:43,760 would be you actually giving me your favorite shirt. 338 00:17:44,052 --> 00:17:47,639 That's really biblical, real eye-for-eye stuff. 339 00:17:47,722 --> 00:17:50,267 I'm not giving you my favorite shirt. That's out of the question. 340 00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:53,311 Fine. Don't give me your favorite shirt. 341 00:17:54,229 --> 00:17:57,065 Just give me the gray and blue two-tone shirt. 342 00:17:58,483 --> 00:18:01,194 You're not getting my blue and gray two-tone, okay? 343 00:18:01,570 --> 00:18:04,030 You don't give up a two-tone. That's my favorite shirt. 344 00:18:04,114 --> 00:18:06,366 You know it. It's not even up for discussion 345 00:18:06,449 --> 00:18:08,910 You never give up a two-tone. Ever. 346 00:18:10,495 --> 00:18:12,706 I don't know that I feel much like eating. 347 00:18:13,248 --> 00:18:17,752 I'm glad the date went well and that I could be a friend when you needed one. 348 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:22,382 Come on! I'm sorry, Freddy. 349 00:18:22,465 --> 00:18:23,675 Say sorry with a two-tone. 350 00:18:23,758 --> 00:18:26,803 Pick out any shirt in the closet you want. Any one! 351 00:18:26,886 --> 00:18:29,723 Why does it have to be the blue and gray two-tone? 352 00:18:32,017 --> 00:18:33,893 Irasshaimase! 353 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:38,189 Mr. Takahashi! 354 00:18:38,273 --> 00:18:40,900 You don't say, "irasshaimase". 355 00:18:40,984 --> 00:18:43,612 I said it at the Japanese restaurant, and they didn't like it either. 356 00:18:43,695 --> 00:18:46,448 That's because when you say it, you sound redneck. 357 00:18:46,531 --> 00:18:48,700 I'm not saying it right? How do you say it? 358 00:18:48,783 --> 00:18:51,286 Irasshaimase. 359 00:18:51,369 --> 00:18:53,455 No. Terrible. 360 00:18:53,705 --> 00:18:55,248 - You know terrible? - Yeah. 361 00:18:55,332 --> 00:18:57,083 That's you. 362 00:18:57,167 --> 00:18:59,794 Okay. All right. Okay. 363 00:19:04,341 --> 00:19:07,260 Saul Berman, he not make it. 364 00:19:10,472 --> 00:19:13,933 That's interesting because you would think that having a heart attack 365 00:19:14,017 --> 00:19:16,227 at a country club like this, there'd be doctors around. 366 00:19:16,311 --> 00:19:18,855 No. Only plastic surgeon here. 367 00:19:19,981 --> 00:19:23,652 One more time "irasshaimase" here, out. 368 00:19:24,152 --> 00:19:25,862 Idiot! 369 00:19:30,241 --> 00:19:32,160 We're not open, sir. 370 00:19:32,243 --> 00:19:34,788 - Yes. - Mr. David. 371 00:19:35,747 --> 00:19:37,832 I left my umbrella here last night. 372 00:19:38,291 --> 00:19:40,126 Can you describe the umbrella? 373 00:19:40,335 --> 00:19:44,130 It was a green umbrella. It says "Dallas Omni Hotel". 374 00:19:45,173 --> 00:19:47,300 There it is. It's right there. 375 00:19:48,843 --> 00:19:51,805 - You mean this umbrella? - Yes. 376 00:19:51,888 --> 00:19:54,265 Why does it say, "Dallas Omni Hotel"? 377 00:19:54,349 --> 00:19:56,101 I was staying in the hotel. It was raining. 378 00:19:56,184 --> 00:19:58,978 They let me take the umbrella when I went to the airport. 379 00:19:59,062 --> 00:20:00,522 That's what they do for their guests. 380 00:20:00,605 --> 00:20:04,943 Should I return it to you or Dallas Omni Hotel? 381 00:20:05,026 --> 00:20:08,363 To me. I'll return it to the hotel. It's really not your business. 382 00:20:08,446 --> 00:20:11,825 - We will return it for you. - I'll return it myself. 383 00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:15,453 - It's not your umbrella. - But it's not yours either. 384 00:20:15,537 --> 00:20:18,081 I borrowed it. I'll return it, okay? 385 00:20:18,164 --> 00:20:21,459 Mr. David, I will be honored to return this for you. 386 00:20:21,543 --> 00:20:23,878 It would be my honor if you gave it to me. 387 00:20:24,087 --> 00:20:26,381 - It will be more our honor. - No, it's my honor. 388 00:20:26,464 --> 00:20:28,007 My honor! 389 00:20:28,091 --> 00:20:30,051 I want that umbrella. That's my umbrella! 390 00:20:30,135 --> 00:20:31,511 It is not your umbrella. 391 00:20:31,594 --> 00:20:33,972 All right, enough of this. Just give... 392 00:20:34,681 --> 00:20:37,308 You have no right to do this. No right. You're stealing. 393 00:20:37,475 --> 00:20:40,061 - I'm calling the police. - Let's call the police! 394 00:20:40,145 --> 00:20:43,565 A bald man steal umbrella. Yes, let's report. 395 00:20:43,982 --> 00:20:46,568 What do you care about the Dallas Omni Hotel? 396 00:20:46,651 --> 00:20:50,155 Because there's a rule and regulation for everything. 397 00:20:52,949 --> 00:20:56,327 Yeah, I see. Now I get the whole thing. 398 00:20:56,411 --> 00:20:59,998 You're upset about that I irasshaimase'd last night, right? 399 00:21:00,290 --> 00:21:02,751 Customer's not supposed to irasshaimase. 400 00:21:02,834 --> 00:21:05,587 - I didn't know. Nobody told me. - I told you. 401 00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:09,466 - All right, but... - You did not follow the rule. 402 00:21:10,049 --> 00:21:13,720 I'm sorry if I didn't follow the irasshaimase rules. 403 00:21:13,803 --> 00:21:15,472 Umbrella rule... 404 00:21:15,597 --> 00:21:18,808 The precious irasshaimase rule. 405 00:21:18,892 --> 00:21:22,562 Only Chef irasshaimase. What a bunch of crap! 406 00:21:22,645 --> 00:21:25,857 I'll Irasshaimase any time I want! I like Irasshaimase! 407 00:21:25,940 --> 00:21:29,235 It's very welcoming! It feels very good to Irasshaimase, 408 00:21:29,319 --> 00:21:31,154 and I'll continue to Irasshaimase! 409 00:21:31,237 --> 00:21:34,073 I didn't steal the umbrella, okay? You're stealing the umbrella! 410 00:21:34,157 --> 00:21:36,409 You're stealing it! Yes! 411 00:21:38,536 --> 00:21:40,705 The Irasshaimase! 412 00:21:40,789 --> 00:21:44,292 So sacred! Irasshaimase! 413 00:21:45,001 --> 00:21:46,503 Come on! 414 00:22:06,356 --> 00:22:08,024 This makes four, Inspector. 415 00:22:08,942 --> 00:22:11,152 Four defenseless women here in the heart of London. 416 00:22:11,236 --> 00:22:13,321 And every one with the right forefinger hacked off. 417 00:22:13,446 --> 00:22:17,659 Not hacked, Inspector Gregson. Cleanly, expertly severed. 418 00:22:17,742 --> 00:22:20,119 Is there no way of stopping this, Mr. Holmes? 419 00:22:20,203 --> 00:22:21,454 There's a way somehow. 420 00:22:21,538 --> 00:22:24,082 We can't get far without knowing the motive. 421 00:22:24,165 --> 00:22:27,043 At least we know what the motives were not. It wasn't robbery, 422 00:22:27,126 --> 00:22:29,379 nor passion that we know, nor vengeance, 423 00:22:29,462 --> 00:22:31,464 because they all came from totally unrelated families. 424 00:22:31,548 --> 00:22:34,425 Steady, Inspector, steady. 425 00:22:34,676 --> 00:22:36,344 Sorry, Mr. Holmes. 426 00:22:36,427 --> 00:22:38,638 Yes, it's horrible. Come on, let's get a drink. 427 00:22:38,972 --> 00:22:40,515 Let's get a drink. 428 00:22:40,849 --> 00:22:43,560 Whoever's behind all this thing be out of his mind. 429 00:22:43,643 --> 00:22:45,603 On the contrary, my dear fellow. 430 00:22:45,728 --> 00:22:48,314 The most brilliant and ruthless intellect the world has ever known. 431 00:22:48,398 --> 00:22:50,275 - You don't mean Professor Moriarty. - I do. 432 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,444 Steady, Holmes, you've got him on the brain. 433 00:22:53,820 --> 00:22:55,196 What are you doing here? 434 00:22:55,321 --> 00:23:00,618 Hey. I'm getting a new television, and Jeff said you have a great one. 435 00:23:00,702 --> 00:23:03,913 He told me to come over and let myself in and check it out 436 00:23:03,997 --> 00:23:05,582 and make myself at home. 437 00:23:05,665 --> 00:23:08,459 Well, clearly, you did, just lying on the couch, huh? 438 00:23:08,543 --> 00:23:10,211 My feet weren't on there. 439 00:23:10,295 --> 00:23:13,298 Did you notice where my feet were, how they were on the corner? 440 00:23:13,381 --> 00:23:16,968 I hope you saw that. Is it so terrible for a person to look relaxed? 441 00:23:17,051 --> 00:23:18,928 I don't understand what you're doing here in the first place. 442 00:23:19,012 --> 00:23:20,722 You looked at the TV, now leave. 443 00:23:20,805 --> 00:23:23,224 - I'm in the middle of this movie! - In my house! 444 00:23:23,308 --> 00:23:27,020 Sherlock Holmes, somebody's chopping off women's fingers, okay? 445 00:23:27,103 --> 00:23:28,229 And Holmes is on the case. 446 00:23:28,313 --> 00:23:30,189 He'll solve it. You could leave. 447 00:23:30,273 --> 00:23:31,733 Okay, fine. Can I tape it? 448 00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:36,946 No, because that would require you returning to the scene of the crime. 449 00:23:37,030 --> 00:23:39,866 Is there any way you could DVR it and email it? 450 00:23:39,949 --> 00:23:43,953 What am I, the fucking AV squad? No, I don't think so. 451 00:23:44,037 --> 00:23:46,080 - Fine, I'll leave. - Thank you. 452 00:23:46,164 --> 00:23:48,499 By the way, somebody rang the bell earlier. 453 00:23:48,583 --> 00:23:49,626 Who was it? 454 00:23:49,709 --> 00:23:51,336 I don't know. I didn't answer. 455 00:23:51,419 --> 00:23:55,214 It was my dress being delivered. I need it for the event this weekend. 456 00:23:55,298 --> 00:23:57,717 Why didn't you fucking answer it? 457 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,928 This is not my house. I'm not even supposed to be here. 458 00:24:00,011 --> 00:24:03,765 - But you were here! - Yeah, literally, but not figuratively. 459 00:24:03,848 --> 00:24:07,518 You know what? You go pick the dress up for me, all right? 460 00:24:07,602 --> 00:24:10,438 'Cause you couldn't get off your ass to go to the door, 461 00:24:10,521 --> 00:24:12,899 then you could go drive all the way to the dressmaker 462 00:24:13,024 --> 00:24:14,192 and pick it up for me! 463 00:24:14,275 --> 00:24:17,111 If I wasn't here, the guy knocks, nobody answers, 464 00:24:17,195 --> 00:24:19,364 and you still don't get your dress, so how is it my fault? 465 00:24:19,447 --> 00:24:23,117 But you were here, so now you go pick up my dress. 466 00:24:23,201 --> 00:24:25,828 - Steady, Inspector. Steady. - What? 467 00:24:25,912 --> 00:24:29,248 I'll pick up your dress for you, but I feel it's only fair to warn you 468 00:24:29,374 --> 00:24:32,085 that this path you're on is quite treacherous 469 00:24:32,168 --> 00:24:34,921 and can lead to unforeseen consequences. 470 00:24:35,004 --> 00:24:39,175 No shit, Sherlock. Just get the fucking dress, okay? 471 00:24:41,052 --> 00:24:44,305 - I'm so sorry for your loss. - Thanks for coming. Thank you. 472 00:24:48,101 --> 00:24:50,728 What? Oh, no! 473 00:24:50,812 --> 00:24:54,148 Oh, my God. Are you fucking kidding me? 474 00:24:57,235 --> 00:24:58,861 Oh, my God! 475 00:25:00,238 --> 00:25:02,073 - Hello? - Hey, it's me. 476 00:25:02,156 --> 00:25:04,367 Where are you? The thing's about to start. 477 00:25:04,742 --> 00:25:08,955 I'm on Longbow. I took my shortcut, but it's not working. 478 00:25:09,038 --> 00:25:11,165 - There's traffic. - You're kidding? 479 00:25:11,249 --> 00:25:12,792 Come on! 480 00:25:12,875 --> 00:25:14,252 Why is there so much traffic? 481 00:25:14,335 --> 00:25:16,754 There's never traffic on this shortcut, 482 00:25:16,838 --> 00:25:19,632 and I think Gabby must've told people about it. 483 00:25:19,924 --> 00:25:21,926 I knew I shouldn't have told her. 484 00:25:22,010 --> 00:25:23,469 How long 'til you're here? 485 00:25:23,553 --> 00:25:25,304 I think I'm just gonna turn around and go home. 486 00:25:25,388 --> 00:25:27,306 What? So you'll be a little late. 487 00:25:27,390 --> 00:25:29,976 I can't sit in traffic. I'm too smart. 488 00:25:30,059 --> 00:25:31,561 I'm not like these people. 489 00:25:31,644 --> 00:25:34,188 You have to have done something stupid to be in traffic. 490 00:25:34,272 --> 00:25:36,858 I don't belong here. I'm gonna turn around. 491 00:25:37,358 --> 00:25:39,110 Tell Hal I'm sorry. 492 00:25:42,196 --> 00:25:45,825 Larry's not coming. Too much traffic. Turned around and went home. 493 00:25:47,076 --> 00:25:49,579 Did he mention to you what he did to my shirt? 494 00:25:49,662 --> 00:25:51,539 Why did you give him your favorite shirt? 495 00:25:51,622 --> 00:25:54,042 - You think it's my fault? - No. 496 00:25:54,125 --> 00:25:56,169 What would you do if someone asked for a nice shirt? 497 00:25:56,502 --> 00:25:58,129 If it's my friend, I'd give it to him. 498 00:25:58,212 --> 00:26:00,381 And if they spill, what would be your expectation? 499 00:26:00,465 --> 00:26:03,301 They'd get it cleaned and/or replaced. 500 00:26:04,719 --> 00:26:06,220 That's right. 501 00:26:06,971 --> 00:26:08,765 I'm sorry for your loss. 502 00:26:09,599 --> 00:26:13,394 Devoted husband to his lovely wife, Anna, 503 00:26:13,478 --> 00:26:17,065 caring and loving father to his sons, Hal and Caleb, 504 00:26:17,523 --> 00:26:20,735 and on occasion, not a bad golfer. 505 00:26:22,195 --> 00:26:26,616 I know he would've been very gratified to see all his friends 506 00:26:26,741 --> 00:26:29,702 and colleagues who came out to pay tribute 507 00:26:29,786 --> 00:26:31,704 to this wonderful, wonderful man, 508 00:26:31,788 --> 00:26:35,917 one of whom I'd like to bring up right now. Freddy Funkhouser. 509 00:26:36,042 --> 00:26:39,879 I miss him. Thank you. 510 00:26:43,591 --> 00:26:47,470 Saul was a terrible golfer unless there was a little scratch on the line, 511 00:26:47,553 --> 00:26:49,347 then he was Jack Nicklaus. 512 00:26:49,764 --> 00:26:52,266 - I loved him. - Freddy, he loved you. 513 00:26:53,017 --> 00:26:54,477 These moments matter, 514 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:59,107 and to look out and see everyone here who made such a sacrifice to be here, 515 00:26:59,190 --> 00:27:01,734 I know for the family, it means everything. 516 00:27:01,818 --> 00:27:03,903 Larry David couldn't make it here today. 517 00:27:04,070 --> 00:27:07,323 He got stuck in traffic, and he turned around and went home. 518 00:27:08,533 --> 00:27:11,828 Saul's the kind of guy that would give you the shirt off his back, 519 00:27:11,911 --> 00:27:14,205 even if it was his favorite one. He wouldn't care. 520 00:27:14,288 --> 00:27:17,917 And if he was the one to stain that shirt, guess what? 521 00:27:18,376 --> 00:27:20,378 He would've given you his favorite shirt back. 522 00:27:20,461 --> 00:27:22,797 He wouldn't just put his head in the sand 523 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,715 and make it uncomfortable for everybody. 524 00:27:24,799 --> 00:27:27,009 He'd probably have given you two shirts. 525 00:27:45,319 --> 00:27:48,739 What the hell's going on here? I'm getting a lot of dirty looks. 526 00:27:49,907 --> 00:27:51,742 - Freddy. - What? 527 00:27:51,826 --> 00:27:53,995 Well, when he spoke, he said, 528 00:27:54,078 --> 00:27:58,040 "Larry David couldn't be here today because he got stuck in traffic" 529 00:27:58,124 --> 00:27:59,375 "and turned around". 530 00:27:59,458 --> 00:28:01,961 Is he nuts? Why would he do that? 531 00:28:02,044 --> 00:28:03,796 - I don't know. - That's crazy! 532 00:28:04,463 --> 00:28:06,465 It's 'cause I ruined his favorite shirt. I stained it. 533 00:28:06,549 --> 00:28:10,636 - Who gives their favorite shirt out? - Nobody! You don't do that. 534 00:28:10,970 --> 00:28:13,014 And by the way, so what if I missed the funeral? 535 00:28:13,097 --> 00:28:16,100 I went to his second wedding. I went to his 60th birthday party. 536 00:28:16,184 --> 00:28:18,686 How many things is somebody supposed to go through in their life? 537 00:28:18,769 --> 00:28:21,439 It's crazy. Then throw in a graduation on top of it, a bar mitzvah. 538 00:28:21,522 --> 00:28:24,692 There's no end to it. What do they want from you? 539 00:28:24,775 --> 00:28:27,403 None of this is your fault. It's all Gabby's fault. 540 00:28:27,486 --> 00:28:29,238 Yeah, 'cause she's got a big mouth. 541 00:28:30,823 --> 00:28:32,909 - All right, you ready for this? - What? 542 00:28:33,784 --> 00:28:37,121 I know what happened with Hal. I figured it out. 543 00:28:37,747 --> 00:28:39,165 What? 544 00:28:39,248 --> 00:28:41,709 She must have asked for a secret on their date 545 00:28:42,210 --> 00:28:44,712 then told everybody about the mother-in-law. 546 00:28:44,795 --> 00:28:46,547 - No doubt about it. - That's it. 547 00:28:46,631 --> 00:28:48,966 - You nailed it! - She's a blabbermouth. 548 00:28:49,050 --> 00:28:50,343 What an idiot. 549 00:28:50,718 --> 00:28:53,471 Who goes on a date and goes, "by the way, I fucked my mother-in-law"? 550 00:28:54,847 --> 00:28:56,974 - I know. It's so crazy. - It's crazy. 551 00:28:57,058 --> 00:28:58,768 But that's why he's not talking to you. 552 00:28:58,851 --> 00:29:02,188 - So you're done with her? - No. I'm gonna see her 553 00:29:02,271 --> 00:29:04,065 - You are? - Yeah. 554 00:29:04,982 --> 00:29:07,276 Mr. Takahashi. 555 00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:12,949 In honor of Saul Berman, the club will be mourning, so no levity. 556 00:29:13,366 --> 00:29:15,868 - Smiling okay? - No, not even smiling. 557 00:29:15,952 --> 00:29:17,912 - Chuckling? - No chuckling. 558 00:29:17,995 --> 00:29:21,290 Hey, let me ask you a question. Did you ever go to Katsuya? 559 00:29:21,624 --> 00:29:23,918 Katsuya? Yes. My favorite. 560 00:29:24,001 --> 00:29:25,503 Could you do me a favor? 561 00:29:25,586 --> 00:29:28,798 I left an umbrella there, and they won't give it back to me. 562 00:29:28,881 --> 00:29:30,132 Why not get new umbrella? 563 00:29:30,216 --> 00:29:32,051 Because you can't replace this umbrella. 564 00:29:32,134 --> 00:29:35,054 It holds up in gale force winds. It never goes inside out. 565 00:29:35,137 --> 00:29:38,266 - It's the best umbrella I ever had. - No umbrella like that. 566 00:29:38,349 --> 00:29:40,559 This umbrella is like that. 567 00:29:42,645 --> 00:29:43,771 What does that mean? 568 00:29:44,105 --> 00:29:45,189 Is that right? 569 00:29:54,198 --> 00:29:56,867 Anyway, what do you think? Could you get it back for me? 570 00:29:57,201 --> 00:29:58,452 No. 571 00:30:35,239 --> 00:30:36,532 Coming! 572 00:30:42,830 --> 00:30:44,540 Are you fucking kidding me? 573 00:30:44,623 --> 00:30:46,000 No good? 574 00:30:50,796 --> 00:30:52,298 You're a sharp dresser, you know that? 575 00:30:52,381 --> 00:30:55,092 - What is this? This shirt? - It's one of my two-tones. 576 00:30:55,176 --> 00:30:56,218 What's a two-tone? 577 00:30:56,302 --> 00:30:59,680 It's got two different colors for the inside and the outside. 578 00:30:59,764 --> 00:31:01,599 Do you ever dress up? Do you have a tux? 579 00:31:01,682 --> 00:31:03,434 Yes, of course I have a tux. 580 00:31:03,517 --> 00:31:05,853 Do you enjoy getting dressed up or it's just the casual? 581 00:31:05,936 --> 00:31:08,773 It's not the dressing up part that's disturbing to me, 582 00:31:08,856 --> 00:31:11,692 it's where you go after you're dressed up. 583 00:31:11,776 --> 00:31:13,652 Tuxedo itself, it's fine, yeah. 584 00:31:13,736 --> 00:31:16,906 Like, if I just sat in the house with a tuxedo on, that would be okay. 585 00:31:16,989 --> 00:31:18,657 You'd be okay just watching some sports? 586 00:31:18,741 --> 00:31:21,952 As long as I don't have to go to the place where I have to wear the tux. 587 00:31:23,037 --> 00:31:26,290 I had to go to the Valley the other day. 588 00:31:26,791 --> 00:31:33,214 Imagine my surprise when the traffic was backed up to Sunset Boulevard. 589 00:31:33,506 --> 00:31:38,219 You opened your big gentile mouth. 590 00:31:38,386 --> 00:31:41,764 I told two friends with very long commutes, 591 00:31:42,056 --> 00:31:46,644 but that's not enough to make a traffic jam to Sunset. 592 00:31:46,727 --> 00:31:50,523 No, it is. Two friends tell two other friends, tell two other friends. 593 00:31:50,606 --> 00:31:52,149 It's like the Coronavirus. 594 00:31:52,233 --> 00:31:56,404 I am sorry, and I promise I won't tell anybody else. 595 00:31:56,487 --> 00:31:58,823 You know what? Even though you gabbed 596 00:31:58,906 --> 00:32:01,033 and gave away a precious secret, 597 00:32:01,992 --> 00:32:04,912 I'm still considering having sex with you. 598 00:32:05,287 --> 00:32:07,248 I'm not taking it off the table. 599 00:32:07,331 --> 00:32:09,959 - You're not taking it off the table? - For now. 600 00:32:10,334 --> 00:32:13,963 - Okay. - We'll see how it goes. 601 00:32:17,049 --> 00:32:19,218 So many things to find out about you. 602 00:32:19,844 --> 00:32:21,637 - Welcome back. - Thank you! 603 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,140 - You're back too. - That's right. 604 00:32:24,432 --> 00:32:26,684 - I asked for the same table. - Right this way. 605 00:32:26,767 --> 00:32:29,103 That's okay. We'll find it. 606 00:32:30,271 --> 00:32:32,148 Did you mail that umbrella? 607 00:32:32,231 --> 00:32:34,900 - Please, enjoy your dinner. - Thank you. 608 00:32:38,779 --> 00:32:40,614 Thank you for coming in. 609 00:32:40,698 --> 00:32:43,742 He steal umbrella from Dallas Omni Hotel. 610 00:32:43,826 --> 00:32:47,163 - She slept with student! - He asked her to prom! 611 00:32:47,246 --> 00:32:49,373 What? You told them? 612 00:32:49,457 --> 00:32:51,459 - No, I didn't. - You swore to me. 613 00:32:51,542 --> 00:32:52,585 I didn't say anything. 614 00:32:52,668 --> 00:32:56,046 - He was captain of basketball team! - She blew him in car! 615 00:33:12,396 --> 00:33:14,523 It was such a wonderful meal! 616 00:33:14,607 --> 00:33:16,025 Thank you! 617 00:33:18,486 --> 00:33:20,613 Thank you for coming, Mr. David. 618 00:33:20,696 --> 00:33:24,450 Oh, my God! Look at this! Look what's going on here. 619 00:33:24,533 --> 00:33:26,160 Look! Look at this! 620 00:33:30,122 --> 00:33:32,374 Hey, that's my umbrella! 621 00:33:32,750 --> 00:33:36,921 No! It's Dallas Omni Hotel umbrella.