﻿1
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Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
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Billy! Mr. Cooper is here.

3
00:00:06,508 --> 00:00:07,985
How you doing?

4
00:00:07,987 --> 00:00:10,512
Do not look under that rock.

5
00:00:11,643 --> 00:00:13,817
But I appreciate you asking.

6
00:00:13,819 --> 00:00:15,558
Hey, you got rejected.

7
00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,517
But was it the end of the world?

8
00:00:17,519 --> 00:00:18,671
No.

9
00:00:18,674 --> 00:00:20,955
And that is extremely
valuable information.

10
00:00:20,957 --> 00:00:22,391
And honestly...

11
00:00:22,393 --> 00:00:24,611
you dodged a bullet with Missy.

12
00:00:24,613 --> 00:00:26,439
The girl is mean.

13
00:00:26,441 --> 00:00:28,399
Thanks.

14
00:00:34,256 --> 00:00:35,821
[indistinct chatter, clamoring]

15
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WOMAN: Come on, Missy!

16
00:00:37,348 --> 00:00:38,782
- Hey.
- Hey!

17
00:00:38,785 --> 00:00:41,692
Came to see your man be a
leader of little people, huh?

18
00:00:41,695 --> 00:00:44,152
I came to see my granddaughter pitch.

19
00:00:44,154 --> 00:00:45,801
Yeah, under my leadership.

20
00:00:45,804 --> 00:00:47,721
All right, Cooper,
let's see what you got.

21
00:00:47,723 --> 00:00:48,985
Come on, girl!

22
00:00:51,857 --> 00:00:53,378
Come on, shake it off!

23
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:54,947
You got this.

24
00:00:59,038 --> 00:01:01,125
What the hell was that?

25
00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:02,955
Well, there's some leadership.

26
00:01:06,089 --> 00:01:07,871
DALE: Time!

27
00:01:07,873 --> 00:01:09,220
Cooper!

28
00:01:09,222 --> 00:01:10,411
Time!

29
00:01:10,414 --> 00:01:13,496
Cooper, what is the problem?

30
00:01:13,499 --> 00:01:15,488
The ball isn't going
where it's supposed to.

31
00:01:15,490 --> 00:01:16,576
I saw that.

32
00:01:16,578 --> 00:01:18,028
What am I doing wrong?

33
00:01:18,031 --> 00:01:19,989
Just a little case of the yips.

34
00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:22,103
- It happens.
- What's that?

35
00:01:22,105 --> 00:01:24,322
The yips... you know,
it's when you're thinking

36
00:01:24,324 --> 00:01:25,846
about stuff in your head

37
00:01:25,849 --> 00:01:27,804
and something you've
done a million times,

38
00:01:27,806 --> 00:01:31,023
you can't do it anymore.
Even the pros get it.

39
00:01:31,026 --> 00:01:32,679
How do I get rid of it?

40
00:01:32,681 --> 00:01:35,029
Uh, just don't think about it.

41
00:01:35,031 --> 00:01:36,728
Okay.

42
00:01:36,731 --> 00:01:38,994
[sighs]

43
00:01:41,826 --> 00:01:44,609
Don't think, just throw.

44
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[crowd clamoring]

45
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I hate the little people.

46
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

47
00:01:55,530 --> 00:01:58,400
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

48
00:01:58,402 --> 00:02:00,731
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

49
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♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

50
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- <font color="#D81D1D">Synced and corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

51
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[engine sputtering]

52
00:02:18,422 --> 00:02:20,640
BRENDA: Damn it!

53
00:02:20,642 --> 00:02:21,945
Brenda?

54
00:02:21,947 --> 00:02:23,179
What?

55
00:02:23,182 --> 00:02:24,905
Everything okay over there?

56
00:02:24,907 --> 00:02:26,604
Oh, yeah.

57
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,536
Okay.

58
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:29,910
[engine sputtering]

59
00:02:29,912 --> 00:02:31,765
Damn it!

60
00:02:31,768 --> 00:02:33,739
Okay, give her a go.

61
00:02:33,742 --> 00:02:35,787
[engine starts]

62
00:02:36,746 --> 00:02:38,356
You're a lifesaver.

63
00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:41,110
It's a gift.

64
00:02:41,113 --> 00:02:43,836
Can I offer you a beer
and some thank-you cobbler?

65
00:02:43,839 --> 00:02:45,820
Weren't you on your way somewhere?

66
00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:47,062
Weight Watchers.

67
00:02:47,065 --> 00:02:49,145
[laughs]

68
00:02:49,148 --> 00:02:50,495
What do you say?

69
00:02:50,497 --> 00:02:52,587
Eh, sure.

70
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Do guys ever go to those
Weight Watchers meetings?

71
00:02:56,203 --> 00:02:58,764
Yeah, but they're all fat.

72
00:02:58,767 --> 00:03:00,343
[laughs]

73
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ADULT SHELDON: Of all the
tests one takes in school,

74
00:03:03,206 --> 00:03:05,578
my favorite was the midterm.

75
00:03:05,581 --> 00:03:07,102
Finals weren't bad,

76
00:03:07,105 --> 00:03:09,317
but they also meant
summer was approaching.

77
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I don't believe in
religion, but sunshine,

78
00:03:11,997 --> 00:03:13,460
picnics and pool parties

79
00:03:13,463 --> 00:03:15,201
are proof hell exists.

80
00:03:15,204 --> 00:03:17,032
[nearby thud]

81
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[door thuds]

82
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Aah!

83
00:03:26,814 --> 00:03:28,358
Why are you trying to hit me?

84
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I'm trying to hit the target.

85
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It's over there.

86
00:03:31,582 --> 00:03:33,523
I know, dingus.

87
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,699
I thought you were good at this.

88
00:03:37,702 --> 00:03:38,761
I was.

89
00:03:38,763 --> 00:03:41,329
Coach Dale says I have the yips.

90
00:03:41,331 --> 00:03:43,113
It's not contagious, is it?

91
00:03:43,115 --> 00:03:45,289
No, it happens in sports.

92
00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:47,727
Suddenly you can't do a
thing that used to be easy.

93
00:03:47,729 --> 00:03:49,511
It doesn't sound real.

94
00:03:49,513 --> 00:03:51,171
Then why can't I pitch anymore?

95
00:03:51,174 --> 00:03:53,171
Ooh, perhaps it's the onset of puberty

96
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and the hysterical mood
swings that go with it.

97
00:03:55,439 --> 00:03:57,170
Dingus, house.

98
00:03:57,173 --> 00:03:59,175
You're only proving my point.

99
00:04:03,353 --> 00:04:05,266
What, Billy won an award?

100
00:04:05,268 --> 00:04:07,406
Participation.

101
00:04:07,409 --> 00:04:08,791
Big whoop.

102
00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:10,007
I guess it's something.

103
00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:11,957
Well, he ain't the
sharpest pencil in the box,

104
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,703
but he's the sweetest kid I know.

105
00:04:13,706 --> 00:04:16,232
Well, Sheldon is the sharpest pencil.

106
00:04:16,235 --> 00:04:17,867
Sometimes I'd just like

107
00:04:17,870 --> 00:04:19,778
to shove his head in that box.

108
00:04:19,781 --> 00:04:22,109
- [chuckles]
- Where's your trash?

109
00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:23,414
Everywhere.

110
00:04:23,416 --> 00:04:26,071
- But the basket's under the sink.
- Mm.

111
00:04:27,159 --> 00:04:29,507
[exhales]

112
00:04:29,509 --> 00:04:31,422
You know your faucet's leaking?

113
00:04:31,424 --> 00:04:33,903
Yep, this whole place is falling apart.

114
00:04:33,905 --> 00:04:35,007
Well...

115
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:37,164
I'll come over another
time, and take care of it.Oh.

116
00:04:37,167 --> 00:04:39,343
You know, you don't have to do that.

117
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:41,737
One more?

118
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:44,087
I should get going.

119
00:04:44,089 --> 00:04:45,830
Well, thanks again.

120
00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:51,164
Want to buy a house?

121
00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:52,530
[door opens]

122
00:04:52,532 --> 00:04:53,937
Hey, where you been?

123
00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:56,289
Ah, Brenda was having car trouble.

124
00:04:56,292 --> 00:04:58,465
- Just giving her hand.
- That's nice.

125
00:04:58,468 --> 00:05:00,538
I'm sure it's hard being by herself.

126
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:01,539
Yeah.

127
00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:03,304
That whole house is in need of repair.

128
00:05:03,307 --> 00:05:05,234
I hope you offered to help her out.

129
00:05:05,237 --> 00:05:07,193
I did... she said no.

130
00:05:07,196 --> 00:05:09,546
Well, that's just her being proud.

131
00:05:09,549 --> 00:05:11,682
Of course she wants your help.

132
00:05:12,857 --> 00:05:15,460
[stammers] I guess
some time I'll pop over.

133
00:05:15,463 --> 00:05:17,071
Good.

134
00:05:17,074 --> 00:05:19,226
And when you go, hitch up your pants.

135
00:05:19,229 --> 00:05:21,776
There's a lot going on when you squat.

136
00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:23,171
LINKLETTER: All right.

137
00:05:23,174 --> 00:05:24,556
You have 45 minutes to complete

138
00:05:24,559 --> 00:05:26,825
the test, eyes on your own paper and...

139
00:05:26,828 --> 00:05:29,829
Yes, Sheldon, if you finish
early, you can take it again.

140
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:31,221
And...

141
00:05:31,223 --> 00:05:32,527
begin!

142
00:05:32,529 --> 00:05:33,746
ADULT SHELDON: And I was off.

143
00:05:33,748 --> 00:05:35,328
I flew through wave functions.

144
00:05:35,331 --> 00:05:37,574
I dominated harmonic oscillators.

145
00:05:37,577 --> 00:05:39,577
The only challenging part of this exam

146
00:05:39,579 --> 00:05:42,015
was trying to balance the
desire to finish quickly

147
00:05:42,017 --> 00:05:44,933
with the urge to stop and smell
my freshly sharpened pencil.

148
00:05:45,934 --> 00:05:47,107
Mmm.

149
00:05:47,109 --> 00:05:48,761
I was in the zone.

150
00:05:48,763 --> 00:05:50,501
Only one question left.

151
00:05:50,503 --> 00:05:51,887
All I needed to do

152
00:05:51,890 --> 00:05:53,722
was solve Schrodinger's equation

153
00:05:53,724 --> 00:05:56,159
in a cylindrical well
by employing the zeroes

154
00:05:56,161 --> 00:05:58,294
of the Bessel function,
which of course were...

155
00:05:59,891 --> 00:06:01,804
Wait, what are they?

156
00:06:01,807 --> 00:06:03,644
Come on, you know this.

157
00:06:03,647 --> 00:06:05,649
You've done it a million times.

158
00:06:06,955 --> 00:06:09,031
Oh, dear.

159
00:06:17,008 --> 00:06:19,530
All right, Sheldon, time
to turn in your test.

160
00:06:19,532 --> 00:06:20,749
I'm not done yet.

161
00:06:20,751 --> 00:06:22,950
[sighs] I know you like to add

162
00:06:22,953 --> 00:06:24,971
your own "better questions" at the end,

163
00:06:24,973 --> 00:06:26,911
but for the last time,
I don't count them.

164
00:06:26,914 --> 00:06:29,410
I just need a few more
minutes on this problem.

165
00:06:29,412 --> 00:06:30,671
That's an easy one.

166
00:06:30,674 --> 00:06:32,500
Just apply the zeroes
of the Bessel function.

167
00:06:32,502 --> 00:06:34,154
I know what I have to do.

168
00:06:34,156 --> 00:06:35,507
Is this is a tantrum?

169
00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:37,582
I've heard children your
age like to throw them.

170
00:06:37,585 --> 00:06:39,333
I can't remember what the zeroes

171
00:06:39,335 --> 00:06:41,161
of the Bessel function are.

172
00:06:41,163 --> 00:06:42,336
You didn't memorize them?

173
00:06:42,338 --> 00:06:44,555
Of course I did... October 7, 1988.

174
00:06:44,557 --> 00:06:46,166
I had just had a bowl of Teddy Grahams.

175
00:06:46,168 --> 00:06:48,516
Then what's the problem?

176
00:06:48,518 --> 00:06:51,171
I'm blanking, but I'll get it.

177
00:06:51,173 --> 00:06:52,302
Sorry, son, class is over.

178
00:06:52,304 --> 00:06:53,468
No, I can do this.

179
00:06:53,471 --> 00:06:55,739
It's just one question.
You'll still pass.

180
00:06:55,742 --> 00:06:58,236
Sheldon Cooper doesn't "just pass."

181
00:06:58,239 --> 00:06:59,673
I have an idea.

182
00:06:59,676 --> 00:07:01,067
Let me see the test.

183
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,704
Thank you.

184
00:07:02,706 --> 00:07:04,924
Sheldon Cooper isn't always

185
00:07:04,926 --> 00:07:06,765
- that gullible.
- He was today.

186
00:07:11,928 --> 00:07:15,048
All right, almost there.

187
00:07:15,051 --> 00:07:17,269
Hand me a screwdriver.

188
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:18,884
Don't stick this in an outlet.

189
00:07:18,887 --> 00:07:20,791
It really tingles.

190
00:07:20,794 --> 00:07:23,448
- We had an incident.
- Yeah.

191
00:07:23,451 --> 00:07:25,525
You know what?

192
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,788
Why don't you fix it?

193
00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:28,540
- BOTH: Really?
- Yeah, you see

194
00:07:28,543 --> 00:07:29,542
that little screw there?

195
00:07:29,545 --> 00:07:31,463
Just go ahead and tighten her up.

196
00:07:31,466 --> 00:07:33,553
- Like this?
- Yep.

197
00:07:33,556 --> 00:07:35,564
BILLY: What now?

198
00:07:35,567 --> 00:07:37,594
Uh, run outside and
turn the water back on.

199
00:07:37,596 --> 00:07:40,139
Here, I'm not allowed to run with this.

200
00:07:40,142 --> 00:07:42,818
We've had a lot of incidents.

201
00:07:44,385 --> 00:07:46,429
- Who knew you were so handy?
- Yeah.

202
00:07:46,431 --> 00:07:48,494
There's just things
guys need to be good at.

203
00:07:48,497 --> 00:07:51,150
What else you good at?

204
00:07:51,153 --> 00:07:53,023
[water sputters]

205
00:07:53,026 --> 00:07:54,679
I should go.

206
00:07:58,486 --> 00:07:59,920
[door closes]

207
00:07:59,922 --> 00:08:01,835
Hey, pretty lady.

208
00:08:01,837 --> 00:08:04,142
- Are you drinking already?
- [laughs] No!

209
00:08:04,144 --> 00:08:06,840
Can't a guy give his wife a compliment?

210
00:08:06,842 --> 00:08:08,494
Do I have to smell your breath?

211
00:08:08,496 --> 00:08:10,104
How about a kiss instead?

212
00:08:10,106 --> 00:08:11,497
What is with you?

213
00:08:11,499 --> 00:08:13,020
Well, I don't know.

214
00:08:13,022 --> 00:08:15,153
Kids aren't home.

215
00:08:15,155 --> 00:08:17,673
Now? I'm doing laundry.

216
00:08:17,676 --> 00:08:19,111
Laundry can wait.

217
00:08:19,114 --> 00:08:20,680
So can your thing.

218
00:08:20,682 --> 00:08:22,291
I like to think of it as ourthing,

219
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:25,381
but if you only have time for
my thing, that's fine, too.

220
00:08:25,383 --> 00:08:27,296
You're being weird.

221
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,080
Weird sexy?

222
00:08:29,082 --> 00:08:30,211
No.

223
00:08:30,213 --> 00:08:32,257
- Headed to the bedroom?
- No!

224
00:08:32,259 --> 00:08:34,479
Just checking.

225
00:08:35,523 --> 00:08:36,653
[sighs]

226
00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:38,742
SHELDON: Missy!

227
00:08:38,744 --> 00:08:40,814
You gave me your yips.

228
00:08:40,817 --> 00:08:41,876
What?

229
00:08:41,879 --> 00:08:43,964
I froze on a test. That's
never happened before.

230
00:08:43,967 --> 00:08:45,226
It's all your fault.

231
00:08:45,228 --> 00:08:46,750
I told you it's not contagious.

232
00:08:46,752 --> 00:08:48,055
You put the thought in my head.

233
00:08:48,057 --> 00:08:49,666
The power of suggestion is very real.

234
00:08:49,668 --> 00:08:51,755
Case in point: tulip mania.

235
00:08:51,757 --> 00:08:53,713
- Here we go.
- Tulip mania

236
00:08:53,715 --> 00:08:55,384
was an insane desire to buy and trade

237
00:08:55,387 --> 00:08:57,021
tulip bulbs in the 1600s.

238
00:08:57,023 --> 00:08:58,805
It nearly ruined the Dutch economy.

239
00:08:58,807 --> 00:09:00,764
You would not believe the
gilders they were spending.

240
00:09:00,766 --> 00:09:02,505
How can you remember
this stupid information,

241
00:09:02,507 --> 00:09:04,202
but not the stuff on your test?

242
00:09:04,204 --> 00:09:05,551
You tell me, they're your yips.

243
00:09:05,553 --> 00:09:07,584
Sheldon, if I knew how to make it stop,

244
00:09:07,587 --> 00:09:08,772
I would tell you.

245
00:09:08,774 --> 00:09:10,469
You better.

246
00:09:10,472 --> 00:09:13,373
Maybe it's puberty
making you all emotional.

247
00:09:13,376 --> 00:09:15,623
I checked my armpits...
Smooth as balloons.

248
00:09:15,626 --> 00:09:17,304
[groans]

249
00:09:18,436 --> 00:09:21,567
- Hey.
- [groans]

250
00:09:21,569 --> 00:09:23,174
What's your problem?

251
00:09:23,177 --> 00:09:24,655
I don't want to talk about it.

252
00:09:24,658 --> 00:09:26,529
- Great.
- I had a mental block

253
00:09:26,531 --> 00:09:28,008
on a test and it was something that

254
00:09:28,010 --> 00:09:29,488
I absolutely know how to do.

255
00:09:29,490 --> 00:09:31,795
Oh, you know, that sort of
thing happens in sports, too.

256
00:09:31,797 --> 00:09:33,144
I know. It's called the yips,

257
00:09:33,146 --> 00:09:34,275
and it's a very silly name

258
00:09:34,277 --> 00:09:35,755
for a very serious problem.

259
00:09:35,758 --> 00:09:37,584
Well, you know, the best thing to do

260
00:09:37,587 --> 00:09:40,107
is get out of your head.

261
00:09:40,109 --> 00:09:41,239
How do I do that?

262
00:09:41,241 --> 00:09:43,720
Just turn your brain off.

263
00:09:43,722 --> 00:09:45,286
It's like I'm not even your son.

264
00:09:45,288 --> 00:09:46,766
[sighs] Look.

265
00:09:46,768 --> 00:09:48,935
I know you don't respect
what I do as a coach.

266
00:09:48,938 --> 00:09:50,358
Maybe you do know me.

267
00:09:50,361 --> 00:09:53,147
But this is a thing
I actually know about.

268
00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:54,948
I've seen it happen to my players.

269
00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:56,863
I've seen it happen to pros in golf.

270
00:09:56,865 --> 00:09:58,343
In baseball.

271
00:09:58,345 --> 00:09:59,866
The answer is always the same.

272
00:09:59,868 --> 00:10:02,521
Stop thinking and get
out of your own way.

273
00:10:02,523 --> 00:10:05,916
I don't know how to do that.

274
00:10:05,918 --> 00:10:08,745
Have you ever heard the
Nike slogan "Just do it"?

275
00:10:08,747 --> 00:10:10,573
I'm familiar with the
phrase "let's do it,"

276
00:10:10,575 --> 00:10:12,531
uttered by Gary Gilmore, the last person

277
00:10:12,533 --> 00:10:15,231
to be executed by
firing squad in America.

278
00:10:16,385 --> 00:10:19,342
Okay, well, it's a shoe slogan.

279
00:10:19,345 --> 00:10:21,376
And it's good advice.

280
00:10:21,379 --> 00:10:23,634
The answer is already in your head.

281
00:10:23,637 --> 00:10:25,370
Don't think so hard.

282
00:10:25,372 --> 00:10:26,939
Just do it.

283
00:10:28,201 --> 00:10:29,592
I'll try.

284
00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:31,712
Good man.

285
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:34,248
Another fun footwear
slogan is "I'm Buster Brown.

286
00:10:34,250 --> 00:10:36,512
I live in a shoe. That's my dog Tige.

287
00:10:36,514 --> 00:10:37,948
Look for him there, too."

288
00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:39,993
Mm, I think mine is more helpful.

289
00:10:39,995 --> 00:10:41,780
Well, mine rhymes, so...

290
00:10:44,391 --> 00:10:47,131
ADULT SHELDON: I decided
to heed my father's advice.

291
00:10:47,134 --> 00:10:49,815
I wasn't sure how to turn off my brain.

292
00:10:49,818 --> 00:10:52,514
Thankfully, I lived with an expert.

293
00:10:52,517 --> 00:10:54,268
What's up?

294
00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:56,572
I've never really thought
about not thinking before.

295
00:10:56,575 --> 00:10:58,534
Well, I'm asking you to think about it.

296
00:10:58,536 --> 00:11:00,814
But I thought you were
interested in not thinking.

297
00:11:00,817 --> 00:11:02,624
I am. I want you to
think about not thinking,

298
00:11:02,627 --> 00:11:03,974
and then teach me how to do it.

299
00:11:03,976 --> 00:11:06,280
- Do what?
- Not think.

300
00:11:06,282 --> 00:11:08,328
All right.

301
00:11:10,809 --> 00:11:12,417
This is tough.

302
00:11:12,419 --> 00:11:14,556
I'm good at not thinking,
but I don't think

303
00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:16,726
I can teach you how to
not think without thinking.

304
00:11:16,728 --> 00:11:18,908
Hmm, well, thank you for trying.

305
00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:20,642
Hold on! What if you're thinking

306
00:11:20,645 --> 00:11:22,122
about something else instead?

307
00:11:22,124 --> 00:11:24,124
Would that count as
thinking or not thinking?

308
00:11:24,126 --> 00:11:26,257
I suppose it's similar to the mantras

309
00:11:26,259 --> 00:11:27,986
extolled by the sages of the east.

310
00:11:27,989 --> 00:11:29,902
It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda

311
00:11:29,905 --> 00:11:32,175
called Japa Yoga and
it's intended to bring out

312
00:11:32,178 --> 00:11:34,920
a single-pointedness of concentration.

313
00:11:36,399 --> 00:11:38,138
Sorry, I zoned out.

314
00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:40,150
- Ooh, tell me how.
- Let's see.

315
00:11:40,153 --> 00:11:41,283
You were blabbering.

316
00:11:41,286 --> 00:11:42,900
It all started to blur together.

317
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:44,103
And I was gone.

318
00:11:44,106 --> 00:11:46,102
At what point did it start to happen?

319
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:47,580
I don't know. Say it again.

320
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:48,844
I said I suppose

321
00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:50,237
it's similar to the mantras

322
00:11:50,239 --> 00:11:51,994
extolled by the sages of the east.

323
00:11:51,997 --> 00:11:55,215
It's a practice that Swami
Vivekananda called Japa Yoga...

324
00:11:55,218 --> 00:11:57,699
♪

325
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:06,299
That is wild.

326
00:12:12,518 --> 00:12:15,116
ADULT SHELDON: The next day,
armed with the sage advice

327
00:12:15,119 --> 00:12:16,928
of my father, my brother,

328
00:12:16,931 --> 00:12:20,523
and an executed murderer, I
was allowed to retake the test.

329
00:12:20,526 --> 00:12:23,529
You have 45 minutes starting now.

330
00:12:24,413 --> 00:12:25,874
SHELDON: Okay, just do it.

331
00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:27,038
Just do it.

332
00:12:27,041 --> 00:12:29,650
Just turn your brain off and do it.

333
00:12:29,653 --> 00:12:31,522
Is it off? Am I doing it?

334
00:12:31,525 --> 00:12:34,030
Wait, if I'm thinking it's
off, then it must still be on.

335
00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:36,931
I'm trying too hard. Don't
overthink, just do it.

336
00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:39,444
Just do it, just...

337
00:12:39,447 --> 00:12:42,491
Time's up.

338
00:12:42,494 --> 00:12:43,711
But I didn't do it.

339
00:12:43,714 --> 00:12:44,999
Waste my morning?

340
00:12:45,002 --> 00:12:46,419
You did it.

341
00:12:46,422 --> 00:12:48,640
That toilet won't stop running.

342
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:50,303
Have you tried jiggling the handle?

343
00:12:50,306 --> 00:12:51,842
I jiggled it, wiggled it.

344
00:12:51,845 --> 00:12:53,470
Damn near had a baby with it.

345
00:12:53,472 --> 00:12:55,081
[chuckles] Yeah, let me take a look.

346
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:58,519
I was fixing to put some dinner
on, if you care to join me.

347
00:12:58,521 --> 00:13:00,450
I don't want to put you out.

348
00:13:00,453 --> 00:13:02,105
It's just frozen lasagna.

349
00:13:02,108 --> 00:13:04,656
But I'm going oven instead of microwave,

350
00:13:04,658 --> 00:13:06,353
'cause you're company. [chuckles]

351
00:13:06,355 --> 00:13:08,355
What are you doing?

352
00:13:08,357 --> 00:13:09,573
What do you mean?

353
00:13:09,575 --> 00:13:11,839
[scoffs] You know what I mean.

354
00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:16,206
I was just trying to thank you.

355
00:13:16,209 --> 00:13:17,775
And you're the one who offered

356
00:13:17,778 --> 00:13:19,386
to come over here and fix things.

357
00:13:19,389 --> 00:13:20,649
I was being nice.

358
00:13:20,652 --> 00:13:21,738
So was I.

359
00:13:21,741 --> 00:13:23,425
Yeah, maybe a little too nice.

360
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:25,154
There is no pleasing you.

361
00:13:25,156 --> 00:13:26,386
Well, I don't need this here.

362
00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:27,667
I can get fighting at my house.

363
00:13:27,670 --> 00:13:29,768
Then maybe you should
go back to your house.

364
00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:32,558
BILLY: Mom, can you
help with my homework?

365
00:13:32,561 --> 00:13:34,816
There in a sec.

366
00:13:34,818 --> 00:13:36,688
You leaving?

367
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,124
You gonna fix the toilet?

368
00:13:38,126 --> 00:13:39,778
- No.
- Then I guess I'm not leaving.

369
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:41,127
Thank you. Lasagna?

370
00:13:41,129 --> 00:13:42,824
Small piece. Mary's making tacos.

371
00:13:42,826 --> 00:13:44,061
Okay.

372
00:13:44,064 --> 00:13:46,316
ADULT SHELDON: Trying to
outsmart my own thought patterns

373
00:13:46,319 --> 00:13:47,873
proved to be challenging.

374
00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:51,180
It's understandable, as smart as I was,

375
00:13:51,182 --> 00:13:53,052
I was also that smart.

376
00:13:53,054 --> 00:13:56,751
I wondered if I could
invent a mind control device,

377
00:13:56,754 --> 00:13:59,210
but that sounded a
little too "mwah-ha-ha"

378
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,363
even for me. It turned out

379
00:14:01,366 --> 00:14:03,192
the device I was looking for

380
00:14:03,194 --> 00:14:05,804
had been in my presence the entire time.

381
00:14:05,806 --> 00:14:07,849
Television. It had been tranquilizing

382
00:14:07,851 --> 00:14:10,425
the minds of America's
youth for generations,

383
00:14:10,428 --> 00:14:12,308
and it was just what I needed.

384
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:13,855
MAN: Lift off.

385
00:14:13,857 --> 00:14:15,641
Too interesting.

386
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:18,033
Too violent.

387
00:14:18,035 --> 00:14:19,426
[indistinct TV chatter]

388
00:14:19,428 --> 00:14:21,776
[chuckles] I don't think so.

389
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:25,040
Now, then, let's build
us a little cloud.

390
00:14:25,042 --> 00:14:26,967
Clouds are very free.

391
00:14:26,970 --> 00:14:28,569
Very, very free.

392
00:14:28,572 --> 00:14:30,116
Tell you what. If you...

393
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,178
That was so much fun, let's get crazy...

394
00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:35,181
Who's this bohemian?

395
00:14:35,184 --> 00:14:36,902
PETERSON: If you could have

396
00:14:36,905 --> 00:14:39,359
any job in the high
school, what would it be?

397
00:14:39,361 --> 00:14:41,538
[laughs] I don't know, why?

398
00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:43,758
Sometimes I look at the janitor

399
00:14:43,761 --> 00:14:45,670
pushing around that buffing machine.

400
00:14:45,673 --> 00:14:48,630
That thing looks like a blast.

401
00:14:48,633 --> 00:14:50,067
He doesn't wear a tie.

402
00:14:50,070 --> 00:14:53,028
No fights with the school board.

403
00:14:53,031 --> 00:14:56,469
Vomit and feces aside,
he's, he's living the dream.

404
00:14:57,877 --> 00:15:00,263
Hello? Am I boring you?

405
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:01,309
Sorry.

406
00:15:01,312 --> 00:15:03,121
I'm a little distracted.

407
00:15:03,124 --> 00:15:05,994
Trouble at home?

408
00:15:05,996 --> 00:15:07,452
- Something like that.
- Mm.

409
00:15:07,455 --> 00:15:08,847
You want to talk about it?

410
00:15:10,205 --> 00:15:11,944
No.

411
00:15:11,947 --> 00:15:14,077
Tell me about your fun bachelor life.

412
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,131
Well, as of last week, I officially

413
00:15:16,134 --> 00:15:18,491
tasted every Campbell's soup.

414
00:15:18,494 --> 00:15:20,374
[laughing]: Come on, Tom.

415
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,203
I'm trying to live vicariously here.

416
00:15:22,206 --> 00:15:24,012
There's got to be something good.

417
00:15:24,014 --> 00:15:27,015
Let's see, I go hunting and
fishing whenever I feel like it.

418
00:15:27,017 --> 00:15:28,625
Now we're getting somewhere.

419
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:31,933
- Spend my money on whatever I want.
- Mm.

420
00:15:31,935 --> 00:15:33,848
What was the last thing you got?

421
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:36,358
Foreman fight on pay-per-view.

422
00:15:36,361 --> 00:15:39,717
I ate a bucket of chicken and
watched it in my underwear.

423
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:40,991
You lucky bastard.

424
00:15:40,994 --> 00:15:42,639
Uh-huh. [chuckles]

425
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:43,920
What about women?

426
00:15:43,923 --> 00:15:46,499
[sighs] Honestly...

427
00:15:46,502 --> 00:15:49,645
it's tough to meet people at this age.

428
00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:51,788
No, come on, charming fella like you?

429
00:15:51,791 --> 00:15:52,877
[scoffs]

430
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,378
Sadly, this is the best night out

431
00:15:54,381 --> 00:15:56,218
I've had in a long time.

432
00:15:56,220 --> 00:15:58,928
Yeah. Me, too.

433
00:15:58,931 --> 00:16:02,050
But if you know anybody,
send them my way.

434
00:16:02,053 --> 00:16:04,229
[country song playing softly]

435
00:16:05,751 --> 00:16:07,971
Yeah, I'll think about.

436
00:16:09,494 --> 00:16:11,764
You ever eat chicken in your underwear?

437
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,018
What do you think?

438
00:16:13,020 --> 00:16:14,842
- Yes.
- Yes.

439
00:16:14,845 --> 00:16:16,716
BOB ROSS: Making a
gorgeous little mountain.

440
00:16:16,719 --> 00:16:17,858
Ooh.

441
00:16:17,861 --> 00:16:20,488
Little stand of evergreens
that lives right in here.

442
00:16:20,491 --> 00:16:22,810
I didn't know Richard Simmons can paint.

443
00:16:22,812 --> 00:16:24,225
His name's Bob Ross.

444
00:16:24,228 --> 00:16:25,924
And he's oddly hypnotic.

445
00:16:25,927 --> 00:16:27,317
You're gonna paint?

446
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,077
No, I just like watching him.

447
00:16:29,079 --> 00:16:30,577
I can't explain it, but his voice

448
00:16:30,580 --> 00:16:33,428
and demeanor are comforting,
like a hot beverage.

449
00:16:33,431 --> 00:16:35,562
Let's get crazy and, once again,

450
00:16:35,564 --> 00:16:37,999
just pull it out, just
like we did the other one.

451
00:16:38,001 --> 00:16:39,435
Yawn.

452
00:16:39,437 --> 00:16:42,699
Barely touch, whisper.

453
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:44,701
Just whisper light.

454
00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:46,181
Let it go.

455
00:16:46,183 --> 00:16:48,147
Let it go, no pressure.

456
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:50,881
ADULT SHELDON: The yips
are a cruel mistress.

457
00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:54,189
But thanks to a magical
man with a halo of curls,

458
00:16:54,191 --> 00:16:58,347
I was finally able to relax
and get out of my own head.

459
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:02,197
Instead of freezing up, I
thought about happy integers.

460
00:17:02,199 --> 00:17:04,721
Fluffy little formulas

461
00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:06,941
and a sweet Bessel
function that just wants me

462
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:07,986
to do my very best.

463
00:17:07,988 --> 00:17:09,061
Done.

464
00:17:09,064 --> 00:17:10,894
Great, I can still
make my doubles match.

465
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,253
Get out.

466
00:17:19,683 --> 00:17:21,310
- [crowd groaning]
- [sighs] Damn it.

467
00:17:21,313 --> 00:17:23,966
- Hold it. Time, time, time.
- UMPIRE: Time!

468
00:17:23,969 --> 00:17:25,793
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

469
00:17:25,796 --> 00:17:27,840
Ah, don't worry about
it. It's not your fault.

470
00:17:27,842 --> 00:17:29,485
- It isn't?
- No, I'm the one

471
00:17:29,488 --> 00:17:31,975
that let a girl pitch. It's my mistake.

472
00:17:31,977 --> 00:17:34,410
What? I've won so many games.

473
00:17:34,413 --> 00:17:35,717
Oh, that was then.

474
00:17:35,719 --> 00:17:37,556
Why are you being so mean?

475
00:17:37,559 --> 00:17:40,299
Well, why are you getting
so emotional, like women do?

476
00:17:40,302 --> 00:17:42,432
Maybe you ought to be a cheerleader.

477
00:17:42,435 --> 00:17:44,305
You trying to make me mad?

478
00:17:44,308 --> 00:17:45,814
- Is it working?
- Yeah.

479
00:17:45,816 --> 00:17:47,033
Well, I tell you what,

480
00:17:47,035 --> 00:17:49,340
picture my face in the catcher's mitt.

481
00:17:49,342 --> 00:17:50,341
What?

482
00:17:50,343 --> 00:17:51,820
Do I have to dumb it down for you?

483
00:17:51,822 --> 00:17:53,997
Just do what I tell you.

484
00:17:53,999 --> 00:17:55,478
[sighs]

485
00:17:56,479 --> 00:17:59,134
[spectators calling out]

486
00:18:00,701 --> 00:18:02,353
[grunts]

487
00:18:02,355 --> 00:18:04,311
- Strike!
- Yes!

488
00:18:04,313 --> 00:18:07,719
Aw, don't get all
hysterical, little girl!

489
00:18:07,722 --> 00:18:09,229
You suck!

490
00:18:09,231 --> 00:18:10,415
You suck!

491
00:18:10,418 --> 00:18:12,798
No! You suck!

492
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,930
Strike!

493
00:18:14,932 --> 00:18:18,153
I am the leader of the little people.

494
00:18:20,379 --> 00:18:26,129
- <font color="#D81D1D">Synced and corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

