1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,600 Previously, on "You"... 2 00:00:02,601 --> 00:00:04,901 Everyone just calls me Beck. And you're... 3 00:00:04,902 --> 00:00:07,002 - Joe? - Goldberg. 4 00:00:07,003 --> 00:00:08,923 A guy needs to protect himself, 5 00:00:08,924 --> 00:00:11,894 and your name was a glorious place to start. 6 00:00:11,895 --> 00:00:14,062 The next thing our little friend the internet gave me 7 00:00:14,063 --> 00:00:15,732 was your address. 8 00:00:17,033 --> 00:00:18,700 Uhh! 9 00:00:18,701 --> 00:00:21,670 Maybe we could get a drink sometime? 10 00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:22,704 Sure. 11 00:00:22,705 --> 00:00:23,939 Hey, let me up. 12 00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:26,408 Oh, you make me insane. 13 00:00:26,409 --> 00:00:28,644 Oh, Beck, who is this? 14 00:00:28,645 --> 00:00:30,979 Benjamin J. Ashby. Greenwich born, 15 00:00:30,980 --> 00:00:32,080 boarding school bred. 16 00:00:32,081 --> 00:00:33,949 - After you. - All right. 17 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:36,119 Man, I'm thinkin' maybe... 18 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:38,820 Do not tell me that you're doing this 19 00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:40,088 because of Beck! 20 00:00:40,089 --> 00:00:42,024 I'm very scared of what you would do to her. 21 00:00:42,025 --> 00:00:44,626 She show you her ladle? She's got this red kitchen ladle. 22 00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:47,029 It's a whole "call you Daddy, spank me" thing. 23 00:00:47,030 --> 00:00:48,797 Benji, I'd love your help. 24 00:00:48,798 --> 00:00:52,235 Unfortunately, I know you're a pathological liar. 25 00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:56,905 I just knew Benji was the worst kind of poison, 26 00:00:56,906 --> 00:00:59,609 so I did what I had to do to help you. 27 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:12,588 It's been three days... 28 00:01:12,589 --> 00:01:14,122 Since our first kiss, 29 00:01:14,123 --> 00:01:16,391 and I have to say... things are looking 30 00:01:16,392 --> 00:01:18,493 pretty good for us post-Benji. 31 00:01:18,494 --> 00:01:19,995 If you could only watch one movie 32 00:01:19,996 --> 00:01:22,231 for the rest of your life, what would it be? 33 00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:23,432 "Beverly Hills Cop". 34 00:01:23,433 --> 00:01:25,534 - Really? - Oh, yeah. Dead serious. 35 00:01:25,535 --> 00:01:28,804 Okay... I'll bite. Enlighten me. 36 00:01:28,805 --> 00:01:31,406 Well, it's funny, but the danger... 37 00:01:31,407 --> 00:01:33,075 feels very real. 38 00:01:33,076 --> 00:01:34,509 It checks all the boxes. 39 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:37,312 What's yours? What's your forever movie? 40 00:01:37,313 --> 00:01:40,115 Mm. I'd have to go with... 41 00:01:40,116 --> 00:01:41,617 "Pretty in Pink". 42 00:01:41,618 --> 00:01:43,585 Invisible townie girl swept off her feet 43 00:01:43,586 --> 00:01:46,521 by the one guy who really sees her. 44 00:01:46,522 --> 00:01:48,056 A little on the nose, Beck. 45 00:01:48,057 --> 00:01:50,525 I love that movie. 46 00:01:50,526 --> 00:01:52,694 I'll be that guy, the one who sees you. 47 00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,630 You deserve that, after Benji. 48 00:01:54,631 --> 00:01:56,632 So... 49 00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:58,734 your... old girlfriend, 50 00:01:58,735 --> 00:02:01,436 the girl at Peach's party was talking about... 51 00:02:01,437 --> 00:02:03,505 - Candace, is it? - It's customary... 52 00:02:03,506 --> 00:02:05,607 the inventory of past heartbreak. 53 00:02:05,608 --> 00:02:07,175 - Do I wanna know? - But Candace... 54 00:02:07,176 --> 00:02:09,211 I'm not sure how to tell you about her yet. 55 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,146 It's too soon, Beck. 56 00:02:11,147 --> 00:02:13,882 I mean, I'm an open book, but it's... it's the old story. 57 00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:17,452 Just... thinking you're right for someone... 58 00:02:17,453 --> 00:02:18,787 and you're not. 59 00:02:18,788 --> 00:02:20,956 Hmm. I got about a dozen of those. 60 00:02:20,957 --> 00:02:24,192 - Hmm. - Maybe sometime over a drink. 61 00:02:24,193 --> 00:02:26,061 Or ten. 62 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,763 - Yep. - Ten? 63 00:02:27,764 --> 00:02:29,931 Ten. Ten... 64 00:02:29,932 --> 00:02:31,834 Give or take. 65 00:02:39,175 --> 00:02:41,443 I want to come in, I do. 66 00:02:41,444 --> 00:02:43,478 But I'm gonna make us wait. 67 00:02:43,479 --> 00:02:45,180 You're worth waiting for. Besides... 68 00:02:45,181 --> 00:02:46,715 Bye. 69 00:02:46,716 --> 00:02:48,383 Right now, I have something 70 00:02:48,384 --> 00:02:51,320 rather pressing to deal with. 71 00:02:59,862 --> 00:03:01,963 Nothing sweeter than townie pie. 72 00:03:01,964 --> 00:03:03,866 #MuffinGrabNGo. 73 00:03:20,316 --> 00:03:22,250 Grab N Go? Really? 74 00:03:22,251 --> 00:03:23,685 Townie Pie? What the... 75 00:03:23,686 --> 00:03:26,789 You're dead to me, Benji. Dead. 76 00:03:27,623 --> 00:03:29,157 You're finally moving on. 77 00:03:29,158 --> 00:03:31,059 And now that you've dealt with Benji, 78 00:03:31,060 --> 00:03:34,764 it's time for me to do the same. 79 00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:49,745 How exactly does one get rid of a body? 80 00:03:49,746 --> 00:03:51,713 I can't just Google this kind of thing 81 00:03:51,714 --> 00:03:54,182 without creating a pretty damning evidence trail. 82 00:03:54,183 --> 00:03:56,918 So I turn to those I trust most for tips... 83 00:03:56,919 --> 00:04:00,155 King, Carr, Franzen, Flynn. 84 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:02,290 Fun fact: spatchcocking a chicken 85 00:04:02,291 --> 00:04:03,692 and dismembering a human 86 00:04:03,693 --> 00:04:06,294 involve the same six essential steps. 87 00:04:06,295 --> 00:04:08,029 Not sure I'm down for that. 88 00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:09,898 Little intense. But... 89 00:04:09,899 --> 00:04:12,868 I think I finally have a plan for Benji. 90 00:04:13,603 --> 00:04:15,537 Oh, hey, Joe, I didn't know you were up there. 91 00:04:15,538 --> 00:04:17,906 Do you mind if I play some, uh, Enrique Iglesias? 92 00:04:17,907 --> 00:04:19,674 I'm trying to bone up on my Spanish. 93 00:04:19,675 --> 00:04:21,276 These are officially the darkest days... 94 00:04:21,277 --> 00:04:23,011 Sounds great. In the history of the world. 95 00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,379 I mean, I can pick something else. 96 00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:25,814 I got a ton of playlists on here. 97 00:04:25,815 --> 00:04:28,717 I got rock music, club music, jazz music. 98 00:04:28,718 --> 00:04:30,752 I wonder if he's a virgin. Stick with the Iglesias. 99 00:04:30,753 --> 00:04:32,954 I'm just gonna be in the basement working on some books. 100 00:04:32,955 --> 00:04:34,189 I don't wanna be disturbed. 101 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,623 - All right? - No problem. 102 00:04:35,624 --> 00:04:36,791 Thanks, Joe! 103 00:04:36,792 --> 00:04:38,560 Here's what I know. 104 00:04:38,561 --> 00:04:41,163 There can be no dead Benji for you to mourn. 105 00:04:41,164 --> 00:04:42,798 He needs to disappear. 106 00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:45,901 Already handled the optics on social media... 107 00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:49,571 Portrait of a dude hard partying his way off the grid. 108 00:04:49,572 --> 00:04:51,840 As for the body... 109 00:04:51,841 --> 00:04:54,376 Cremation seems expedient. 110 00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,211 This will require chemicals, 111 00:04:56,212 --> 00:05:00,983 a steady blaze, and absolutely no dental records. 112 00:05:09,358 --> 00:05:11,393 Bluuh... 113 00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:13,195 It looks like 114 00:05:13,196 --> 00:05:16,998 I'm gonna need to slow the biological roll on Benji. 115 00:05:16,999 --> 00:05:19,000 It's about temperature, and it's about humidity. 116 00:05:19,001 --> 00:05:22,704 And dropping the temp this low puts the books at risk... 117 00:05:22,705 --> 00:05:25,841 Dry, brittle, lost forever. 118 00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:28,376 My humidifiers won't let that happen. 119 00:05:28,377 --> 00:05:30,245 Gertrude Stein is dead. 120 00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:33,381 She's not coming back to sign books. 121 00:05:33,382 --> 00:05:36,384 Hopefully, this holds him until I can man up 122 00:05:36,385 --> 00:05:38,354 and do the deed. 123 00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:40,889 - Come in. - Hi... there. 124 00:05:40,890 --> 00:05:43,525 I'm, uh... Guinevere Beck. 125 00:05:43,526 --> 00:05:45,327 I'm your new MFA transfer. 126 00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:49,564 Professor Leahy and I agreed, uh, that it would be bet... 127 00:05:49,565 --> 00:05:51,199 Oh, sorry. 128 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,503 Um, I'm looking for Professor Mott? 129 00:05:54,504 --> 00:05:55,704 Beck, is it? 130 00:05:55,705 --> 00:05:57,606 - Yes, hi. - Blythe. 131 00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,641 I heard you were joining us. 132 00:05:59,642 --> 00:06:01,409 - Yeah. - We meet here for workshop 133 00:06:01,410 --> 00:06:02,944 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. 134 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,614 Mott's no Leahy, though, so bring your A game. 135 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,148 I intend to. 136 00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:09,718 You know, I actually... I read one of your essays 137 00:06:09,719 --> 00:06:11,419 in the "Review" last month, 138 00:06:11,420 --> 00:06:14,289 and it was so illuminating. I tweeted it. 139 00:06:14,290 --> 00:06:18,594 Social Media. It's like the next great genocide. 140 00:06:20,496 --> 00:06:22,464 - Jersey, right? - Sorry? 141 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:23,965 It's where you're from? 142 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:26,768 No, I'm, uh, I'm from Nantucket. 143 00:06:26,769 --> 00:06:29,138 Oh, interesting. 144 00:06:30,406 --> 00:06:32,641 - Where are you from? - Such a tough question. 145 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,943 Um... I was born in Papua New Guinea, 146 00:06:34,944 --> 00:06:37,679 but my dad worked for the State Department, 147 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,080 so we moved around a lot. 148 00:06:39,081 --> 00:06:41,048 Actually separated from my parents at one point. 149 00:06:41,049 --> 00:06:43,117 Did some modeling in Tokyo. 150 00:06:43,118 --> 00:06:46,455 My hair is super-unique there. 151 00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:59,501 I'm sorry, it's my grandparents. 152 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,902 I'll see you in class, okay? 153 00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:02,537 - Okay. - Okay. 154 00:07:02,538 --> 00:07:05,073 Hey... 155 00:07:05,074 --> 00:07:06,174 Yeah. 156 00:07:06,175 --> 00:07:07,876 And then she walked away, 157 00:07:07,877 --> 00:07:09,444 and I melted into the earth. 158 00:07:09,445 --> 00:07:11,713 Sounds like a pretentious bitch, if you ask me. 159 00:07:11,714 --> 00:07:13,315 No. Blythe's amazing. 160 00:07:13,316 --> 00:07:15,817 She wrote this piece about how she and her mother 161 00:07:15,818 --> 00:07:18,553 got bulimia together while in Italy, and she was 12! 162 00:07:18,554 --> 00:07:20,755 - Chic. - What the... 163 00:07:20,756 --> 00:07:23,258 - Is that a nose? - It's a dick pic, Annika. 164 00:07:23,259 --> 00:07:25,694 So what? It's just zoomed in. 165 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,997 - No! - Why's it against shag carpet? 166 00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:30,332 - I don't know. - Perspective? 167 00:07:30,333 --> 00:07:31,733 I don't get it. 168 00:07:31,734 --> 00:07:33,868 I mean, why do men think disembodied members 169 00:07:33,869 --> 00:07:35,503 equal foreplay? You know, they're not 170 00:07:35,504 --> 00:07:38,073 - aesthetically pleasing. - Ooh! I disagree. 171 00:07:38,074 --> 00:07:39,975 I have over 200 saved on my phone 172 00:07:39,976 --> 00:07:43,345 organized by category. It's my Guggenheim. 173 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:46,414 Fat bats. 174 00:07:46,415 --> 00:07:47,816 Boomerangs. 175 00:07:47,817 --> 00:07:49,651 Banana boats. 176 00:07:49,652 --> 00:07:51,486 Late bloomers. 177 00:07:51,487 --> 00:07:52,887 And Jewish guys. 178 00:07:52,888 --> 00:07:54,356 More power to 'em, but your friends 179 00:07:54,357 --> 00:07:56,191 kinda treat sex like it means nothing. 180 00:07:56,192 --> 00:07:57,792 Till she sees his junk in zoom! 181 00:07:57,793 --> 00:07:59,561 But you're different, aren't you? 182 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,096 Honestly, I see her point. 183 00:08:01,097 --> 00:08:02,664 I hooked up with some guy last night. 184 00:08:02,665 --> 00:08:06,134 Knee deep in before I realized he's uncircumcised. 185 00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:07,802 - Ooh! - It kind of looked like... 186 00:08:07,803 --> 00:08:10,138 - I don't know, a... hoodie? - Whoa! 187 00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:12,073 Bookstore clerk has a turtleneck? 188 00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:14,075 Bookstore manager, but, no, not Joe. 189 00:08:14,076 --> 00:08:16,878 Some guy from Tinder. Just a little down and dirty. 190 00:08:16,879 --> 00:08:18,613 - You know? - Wow! 191 00:08:18,614 --> 00:08:20,982 Joe is still a maybe. 192 00:08:20,983 --> 00:08:23,451 A maybe? I'm a maybe? 193 00:08:23,452 --> 00:08:25,153 And you're still screwing other guys? 194 00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:26,888 Beck! How did I miss this? 195 00:08:26,889 --> 00:08:29,391 How did I read this so completely wrong? 196 00:08:29,392 --> 00:08:31,826 Look, if you wanna bone Benji outta your system, 197 00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:33,495 more power to you. 198 00:08:33,496 --> 00:08:36,431 I just wanna make sure that you're respecting yourself. 199 00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:39,567 Look, I'm just saying... 200 00:08:39,568 --> 00:08:43,004 are you being your most amazing self right now? 201 00:08:43,005 --> 00:08:45,740 I mean, this is... this is my process. 202 00:08:45,741 --> 00:08:48,109 It's like a Benji exorcism. 203 00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:51,546 I'm just exploring my options in a city of... 204 00:08:51,547 --> 00:08:53,281 8 million people. 205 00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:55,316 - It's only reasonable, right? - Yeah. 206 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:56,785 I'm gonna get a drink. 207 00:09:00,656 --> 00:09:02,424 I like your tattoo. 208 00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:05,126 I don't have a tattoo. 209 00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,362 Love is patient and kind. 210 00:09:07,363 --> 00:09:08,930 And so am I, Beck. 211 00:09:08,931 --> 00:09:11,199 For you, I can be patient. 212 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,068 Maybe this is your process. 213 00:09:13,069 --> 00:09:14,969 Nobody buys the first pair of jeans they try on, 214 00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:16,705 no matter how perfect. 215 00:09:16,706 --> 00:09:19,607 But as much as I'm hoping this is just a stage, 216 00:09:19,608 --> 00:09:21,576 a quick password search on your iCloud 217 00:09:21,577 --> 00:09:24,546 has revealed a swipe-fest of millennial man-boys. 218 00:09:24,547 --> 00:09:26,014 Guy with tiger. 219 00:09:26,015 --> 00:09:27,582 Junior William Morris agent. 220 00:09:27,583 --> 00:09:30,118 Viking Wannabe. You've been a busy girl, Beck. 221 00:09:30,119 --> 00:09:32,420 It's more competition than I realized. 222 00:09:32,421 --> 00:09:33,755 This thing between us... 223 00:09:33,756 --> 00:09:35,690 It's new, tenuous. 224 00:09:35,691 --> 00:09:38,093 And the cost was a corpse. 225 00:09:38,094 --> 00:09:40,195 But I can't get rid of every guy in New York. 226 00:09:40,196 --> 00:09:43,232 If I wanna win your heart, I'm gonna have to show you... 227 00:09:46,936 --> 00:09:48,536 Aah! 228 00:09:48,537 --> 00:09:50,371 I'm not a "maybe". 229 00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:52,274 I'm The One. 230 00:09:56,612 --> 00:10:00,482 It's time. Time to get rid of Benji 231 00:10:00,483 --> 00:10:03,118 so I can focus my undivided attention 232 00:10:03,119 --> 00:10:05,820 on you, Beck, on us. 233 00:10:05,821 --> 00:10:07,856 So I'm gonna need a few supplies. 234 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:08,923 Hey, Joe. 235 00:10:08,924 --> 00:10:11,092 You said you needed to talk? 236 00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:13,061 I do, yeah. So here's the thing. 237 00:10:13,062 --> 00:10:15,063 I have a secret project I'm working on, 238 00:10:15,064 --> 00:10:16,531 but I gotta open up the shop, 239 00:10:16,532 --> 00:10:18,867 so I thought you could run some errands for me. 240 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,635 I'll give you a little money for books. 241 00:10:20,636 --> 00:10:22,370 Just between us. 242 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:23,905 Yeah. No problem. 243 00:10:23,906 --> 00:10:25,907 Between us. What do you need? 244 00:10:25,908 --> 00:10:29,278 Well, you might have to run to a few different places. 245 00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,218 You can count on me, Joe. 246 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:41,457 Thanks, Pac. 247 00:10:43,492 --> 00:10:46,895 The swine and I. 248 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:50,132 Eye to eye. 249 00:10:50,966 --> 00:10:53,935 My heart is his. 250 00:10:53,936 --> 00:10:56,070 And that... 251 00:10:56,071 --> 00:10:58,107 was sunset. 252 00:11:03,712 --> 00:11:05,547 I'm not sure it had the vigilance or depth 253 00:11:05,548 --> 00:11:08,883 that you're capable of. I just wasn't fully invested. 254 00:11:08,884 --> 00:11:11,319 Interesting, Blythe. 255 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:14,022 How do we maintain the reader's attention? 256 00:11:14,023 --> 00:11:16,724 We infuse the universal 257 00:11:16,725 --> 00:11:18,760 with painful specificity, 258 00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,361 or they simply turn the page. 259 00:11:20,362 --> 00:11:21,763 Exactly. 260 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:25,266 My worst fear... and I'm not commenting on Yuri's poem, 261 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:29,137 per se, is not to be bad but unremarkable. 262 00:11:29,138 --> 00:11:32,207 Unremarkable. That is the fear. 263 00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:34,909 I hope this was helpful, Yuri. 264 00:11:34,910 --> 00:11:36,845 I think that does it for today. 265 00:11:36,846 --> 00:11:38,746 Next up is... Blythe. 266 00:11:38,747 --> 00:11:40,114 And Beck. 267 00:11:40,115 --> 00:11:42,350 Send a piece of your choosing to myself 268 00:11:42,351 --> 00:11:45,054 and your fellow classmates, and we'll review on Thursday. 269 00:12:11,747 --> 00:12:13,348 Here's what I've gleaned 270 00:12:13,349 --> 00:12:16,184 from this little exercise in futility, Beck. 271 00:12:16,185 --> 00:12:18,387 You're in no mood to write. 272 00:12:20,189 --> 00:12:22,357 And you need a new bed. 273 00:12:22,358 --> 00:12:24,926 So, hey, maybe your enthusiastic 274 00:12:24,927 --> 00:12:26,461 but ultimately empty encounter 275 00:12:26,462 --> 00:12:28,129 with that Warby Parker-wearing mixologist 276 00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:29,644 could work to our advantage. 277 00:12:29,645 --> 00:12:31,265 Any chance you're down for shopping trip? 278 00:12:31,266 --> 00:12:32,433 I've got time to kill 279 00:12:32,434 --> 00:12:34,903 while Paco's out shopping. 280 00:12:37,139 --> 00:12:39,407 You read my mind. 281 00:12:39,408 --> 00:12:41,276 Pick you up in an hour. 282 00:12:41,277 --> 00:12:43,711 But I have to play this perfectly, 283 00:12:43,712 --> 00:12:45,713 and in order to do that, 284 00:12:45,714 --> 00:12:47,816 I gotta break out the big gun. 285 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,488 Mr. Mooney's Buick Skylark. 286 00:12:54,390 --> 00:12:56,057 You bound down the stairs in those tight, 287 00:12:56,058 --> 00:12:57,392 not-too-tight jeans. 288 00:12:57,393 --> 00:12:58,893 You're in flip-flops 289 00:12:58,894 --> 00:13:00,194 and your toenails sparkle 290 00:13:00,195 --> 00:13:01,763 and your hair's in a bun, 291 00:13:01,764 --> 00:13:03,631 and, hey, at least you don't have any hickeys. 292 00:13:03,632 --> 00:13:05,934 So there's that. 293 00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:13,508 Oh, my God, I can't believe this is your car. 294 00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:15,343 You're a lifesaver. 295 00:13:15,344 --> 00:13:17,078 No idea how much 296 00:13:17,079 --> 00:13:19,515 I needed a new bed. 297 00:13:37,232 --> 00:13:39,334 New Challenge. 298 00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:42,303 How do I segue this from 299 00:13:42,304 --> 00:13:44,305 browsing glassware to... 300 00:13:44,306 --> 00:13:47,342 "Holy shit! Joe's the one"? 301 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:51,045 Weird. 302 00:13:51,046 --> 00:13:53,614 I have one just like this. 303 00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:55,717 Yeah, I-I know all about it. 304 00:13:55,718 --> 00:13:58,953 - Benji told me. - It was my dad's. 305 00:13:58,954 --> 00:14:00,588 The infamous red ladle. 306 00:14:00,589 --> 00:14:02,590 How you like to be spanked with it. 307 00:14:02,591 --> 00:14:05,460 Is that what you really want, Beck? 308 00:14:05,461 --> 00:14:08,997 Is that the guy you're looking for? 309 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,368 Just pick one. 310 00:14:13,369 --> 00:14:15,803 It's all cut from the same hunk of overpriced wood. 311 00:14:15,804 --> 00:14:17,638 I can't decide. 312 00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,840 People trying to buy some sort of meaning in their lives 313 00:14:19,841 --> 00:14:22,744 with $60 candles and sustainable lamps. 314 00:14:22,745 --> 00:14:24,312 They all look pretty good to me. 315 00:14:24,313 --> 00:14:26,781 No, I just mean should I get the queen 316 00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:28,449 or the king-size bed? 317 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,818 Your bedroom isn't big enough to fit a king. 318 00:14:30,819 --> 00:14:34,355 You're right, it's too... 319 00:14:34,356 --> 00:14:38,026 How do you know that? 320 00:14:38,027 --> 00:14:39,627 It's New York. 321 00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:42,464 No one's bedroom is big enough to fit a king. 322 00:14:44,099 --> 00:14:46,735 Ugh... 323 00:14:47,703 --> 00:14:49,003 What's wrong? 324 00:14:49,004 --> 00:14:50,671 This girl, Blythe, in workshop, 325 00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:52,975 she just submitted her short story. 326 00:14:55,044 --> 00:14:56,310 - And? - And I haven't even 327 00:14:56,311 --> 00:14:58,814 started mine yet, and it's due tomorrow. 328 00:15:03,419 --> 00:15:05,053 Hers... 329 00:15:05,054 --> 00:15:06,654 it's brilliant. 330 00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:10,625 It's about a crow that flies into a woman's house, 331 00:15:10,626 --> 00:15:13,094 runs into the walls, and leaves blood everywhere. 332 00:15:13,095 --> 00:15:15,563 That sounds terrible. 333 00:15:15,564 --> 00:15:17,566 Read it. 334 00:15:27,242 --> 00:15:29,678 Well? 335 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,681 - You might be right. - Ugh! 336 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:36,118 I know. 337 00:15:39,888 --> 00:15:41,756 Can I ask you something? 338 00:15:41,757 --> 00:15:43,191 Anything. 339 00:15:43,192 --> 00:15:45,927 Promise to tell the truth? 340 00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:47,529 Scout's honor. 341 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,570 Do you think... I'm unremarkable? 342 00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,180 Unremarkable people don't worry 343 00:16:06,181 --> 00:16:08,784 about being unremarkable. 344 00:16:20,863 --> 00:16:22,330 This is it, Beck. 345 00:16:22,331 --> 00:16:23,864 This is the moment I'm gonna show you 346 00:16:23,865 --> 00:16:25,566 just how remarkable you are. 347 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,569 You want down and dirty, you got it. 348 00:16:32,541 --> 00:16:34,542 Stop, Joe, stop! 349 00:16:34,543 --> 00:16:35,977 What? I... What? I thought that you... 350 00:16:35,978 --> 00:16:37,411 That I wanted to get arrested 351 00:16:37,412 --> 00:16:39,747 while you're going all bush diver on me in public? 352 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:43,085 That's not exactly on my to-do list today. 353 00:16:45,454 --> 00:16:48,557 I guess I read that wrong. 354 00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:53,761 You haven't made eye contact for the past ten minutes. 355 00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:56,198 Things couldn't get any worse right now. 356 00:16:59,234 --> 00:17:01,202 - Hello? - Hey, Joe, it's Ethan. 357 00:17:01,203 --> 00:17:03,171 - Ethan from the bookstore. - Yeah, yeah, I know 358 00:17:03,172 --> 00:17:04,572 who you are, Ethan. 359 00:17:04,573 --> 00:17:08,709 Right. Thing is, the power's out. Um... 360 00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:11,379 the electrician says he thinks the system is overloaded, 361 00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:13,114 but he can't get to the fuse box because... 362 00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,949 It's in the basement with a dead body. 363 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,385 Which is locked. He thinks he can pop the lock, 364 00:17:17,386 --> 00:17:18,853 but I just wanted to... 365 00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:20,888 No! No, no, no, no, no! Just... Just... 366 00:17:20,889 --> 00:17:22,490 Just tell the electrician to go home. 367 00:17:22,491 --> 00:17:24,325 I'll call him later. You lock up and go home. 368 00:17:24,326 --> 00:17:26,027 I'll deal with it when I get back. 369 00:17:26,028 --> 00:17:27,929 All right? 370 00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:29,831 Okay. 371 00:17:31,466 --> 00:17:33,467 - Everything okay? - Yeah, it's fine. 372 00:17:33,468 --> 00:17:35,570 It's fine. It's just a little problem at the shop. 373 00:17:35,571 --> 00:17:37,739 I should get you... home. 374 00:17:39,875 --> 00:17:41,742 I was afraid this might happen. 375 00:17:41,743 --> 00:17:44,345 Six humidifiers and an AC unit from the late '70s 376 00:17:44,346 --> 00:17:45,980 cranked to its lowest setting... 377 00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:48,216 even in death, Benji is a colossal pain in my ass. 378 00:17:56,358 --> 00:17:58,893 Okay. With the AC out, 379 00:17:58,894 --> 00:18:03,598 seems deterioration speeds really picked up. 380 00:18:15,577 --> 00:18:19,281 Oh! Is that... ooze? 381 00:18:20,549 --> 00:18:22,049 Things have grown 382 00:18:22,050 --> 00:18:24,652 biologically dire in the Benji department. 383 00:18:24,653 --> 00:18:26,587 Also the rare book department. 384 00:18:26,588 --> 00:18:31,192 But... I can't protect them until I get rid of him. 385 00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:34,463 Benji has to go. 386 00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,246 Ugh! 387 00:18:54,816 --> 00:18:56,817 Hey, what are you up to? 388 00:18:56,818 --> 00:18:59,453 Do you happen to read Chinese? 389 00:18:59,454 --> 00:19:02,357 Or own a mallet? 390 00:19:05,694 --> 00:19:07,628 The books were safe. 391 00:19:07,629 --> 00:19:09,163 Basement is 100% corpse-free. 392 00:19:09,164 --> 00:19:10,731 Can't burn the body in daylight anyway, 393 00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,233 so the least Benji can do 394 00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,569 is wait in the car for a little while. 395 00:19:19,207 --> 00:19:20,508 - Ready for that. - Okay. 396 00:19:20,509 --> 00:19:22,576 Let go for a second. 397 00:19:22,577 --> 00:19:24,745 - Okay. - Yeah. 398 00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:26,681 - It's in the peg! - Okay. 399 00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:30,986 - Hand me the mallet. - Yeah. Ah! 400 00:19:34,623 --> 00:19:36,525 Should be good. 401 00:19:49,738 --> 00:19:52,006 There it is. 402 00:19:52,007 --> 00:19:53,642 Go! 403 00:19:54,576 --> 00:19:56,745 Say when. 404 00:19:58,447 --> 00:20:00,615 When. I think... when. When, when, when. 405 00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:08,789 Cheers to us. 406 00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,891 You make a good apprentice. 407 00:20:10,892 --> 00:20:15,397 I was gonna say the same thing about you. 408 00:20:19,034 --> 00:20:23,672 I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to get so upset. 409 00:20:25,073 --> 00:20:26,841 It's okay. 410 00:20:26,842 --> 00:20:29,677 No, it's not, it's just... 411 00:20:29,678 --> 00:20:33,981 I don't want you to think of me 412 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:37,185 like that. 413 00:20:42,424 --> 00:20:46,694 I... like you, Joe. 414 00:20:46,695 --> 00:20:50,565 Like actually... like. 415 00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:57,538 And I was a little in my head, to be honest. 416 00:20:57,539 --> 00:21:01,208 Blythe's short story kinda threw me for a loop. 417 00:21:01,209 --> 00:21:02,910 It's not a competition. 418 00:21:02,911 --> 00:21:04,578 I know, but... 419 00:21:04,579 --> 00:21:07,081 I wonder... 420 00:21:07,082 --> 00:21:10,785 am I ever gonna write anything that amazing? 421 00:21:10,786 --> 00:21:12,820 You're talented. 422 00:21:12,821 --> 00:21:14,622 - You don't know that. - I... I know... 423 00:21:14,623 --> 00:21:18,025 I know you need to get out of your head and... 424 00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:21,829 forget Blythe, this Blythe person. 425 00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:24,031 Forget everybody. Just write what you want. 426 00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:27,601 God! Everyone says that like it's so easy. 427 00:21:27,602 --> 00:21:29,370 I know, I know. 428 00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:32,106 Okay, so, um... 429 00:21:32,107 --> 00:21:34,008 pop quiz. 430 00:21:34,009 --> 00:21:35,310 Don't think. 431 00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:37,278 Just answer. 432 00:21:37,279 --> 00:21:39,046 Okay. 433 00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:41,148 What hits you like a gut punch when you... 434 00:21:41,149 --> 00:21:43,017 The first thought? 435 00:21:43,018 --> 00:21:45,019 My dad. 436 00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:47,354 Before he... 437 00:21:47,355 --> 00:21:50,257 Yeah. Right. 438 00:21:50,258 --> 00:21:52,193 Of course. 439 00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,665 He was an addict. 440 00:21:57,666 --> 00:22:00,935 It was hard... 441 00:22:00,936 --> 00:22:03,204 and scary. 442 00:22:04,806 --> 00:22:07,808 I mean, there were good days too. 443 00:22:07,809 --> 00:22:11,679 Like I always knew it was gonna be one of those 444 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:16,951 when I woke up to the smell of pancakes cooking. 445 00:22:16,952 --> 00:22:21,555 He used this red ladle to scoop up the batter. 446 00:22:21,556 --> 00:22:24,926 This is the red ladle story? 447 00:22:26,928 --> 00:22:29,864 And I would be... laughing, 448 00:22:29,865 --> 00:22:32,366 singing along to some 449 00:22:32,367 --> 00:22:35,569 bad Top 40 song. 450 00:22:35,570 --> 00:22:38,640 And everything would be... right. 451 00:22:42,978 --> 00:22:46,881 But then he'd... he'd go out and... 452 00:22:46,882 --> 00:22:50,618 the ladle would go back in the drawer. 453 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:54,889 And I'd wait for the next good day. 454 00:22:56,992 --> 00:23:01,930 Until there weren't any more. 455 00:23:03,164 --> 00:23:04,999 Wow! 456 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,402 I did not expect to say all that. 457 00:23:08,403 --> 00:23:10,271 I think you're right. You definitely don't have 458 00:23:10,272 --> 00:23:12,940 anything meaningful to write about. 459 00:23:12,941 --> 00:23:16,410 Ohh. Benji was wrong about all of it. 460 00:23:16,411 --> 00:23:19,813 His whole red ladle story. You don't wanna be spanked. 461 00:23:19,814 --> 00:23:22,149 You wanna feel safe, 462 00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:23,751 loved. 463 00:23:23,752 --> 00:23:27,088 You want someone to make pancakes for you. 464 00:23:51,980 --> 00:23:53,280 Um... 465 00:23:53,281 --> 00:23:55,516 hold that thought. I'll be right back. 466 00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:58,586 Coming! 467 00:24:00,722 --> 00:24:03,290 - Is everything okay? - No! 468 00:24:03,291 --> 00:24:06,126 - Peach. I should have known. - Thank God you're here. 469 00:24:06,127 --> 00:24:08,162 I'm having a really bad flare-up. 470 00:24:08,163 --> 00:24:11,266 I think I need you to take me to the emergency room. 471 00:24:12,500 --> 00:24:14,134 Oh... Joseph. 472 00:24:14,135 --> 00:24:15,936 I didn't realize you were here. 473 00:24:15,937 --> 00:24:18,238 I told you he was coming. 474 00:24:18,239 --> 00:24:20,441 Uh, Peach is really sick. 475 00:24:20,442 --> 00:24:23,310 This is probably more than you need to know, 476 00:24:23,311 --> 00:24:25,679 but... I have a rare chronic bladder disease 477 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,047 called interstitial cystitis... 478 00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:29,350 Oh... gosh! 479 00:24:29,351 --> 00:24:32,586 I mean, you know, some people think I'm being uppity, 480 00:24:32,587 --> 00:24:35,422 but... I can't have any fast food. 481 00:24:35,423 --> 00:24:38,559 And if I drink, it has to be a high PH, you know, 482 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,561 like Ketel One or Goose 483 00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:42,229 and pear juice. 484 00:24:42,230 --> 00:24:44,798 Weren't you doing Jager shots at your party? 485 00:24:44,799 --> 00:24:46,233 Oh... oh! 486 00:24:46,234 --> 00:24:48,102 Let's get you to the hospital. 487 00:24:48,103 --> 00:24:50,204 - Yeah. - And Joe has a car. 488 00:24:50,205 --> 00:24:51,972 He can take us. Right, Joe? 489 00:24:51,973 --> 00:24:53,741 You can take us? 490 00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:55,577 Of course. 491 00:24:56,244 --> 00:24:58,746 I mean, I've got a dead body in the trunk, 492 00:24:58,747 --> 00:24:59,880 but, hey, no biggie, right? 493 00:24:59,881 --> 00:25:01,348 Oh, this is taking forever! 494 00:25:01,349 --> 00:25:04,251 I mean, he took the worst street to get across town. 495 00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:05,586 Be nice. 496 00:25:05,587 --> 00:25:07,588 I'm in real pain! 497 00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:09,958 I'm sorry. 498 00:25:11,292 --> 00:25:13,293 Ohh... Joseph... 499 00:25:13,294 --> 00:25:15,195 - Yep. - I'm feeling nauseated. 500 00:25:15,196 --> 00:25:17,398 Can you crack a window? There's like a... 501 00:25:17,399 --> 00:25:20,401 sort of putrid aroma that keeps wafting in the backseat. 502 00:25:20,402 --> 00:25:23,571 What can I say? The smells of the city. 503 00:25:28,410 --> 00:25:29,476 Oh... God. 504 00:25:29,477 --> 00:25:31,145 I can't deal. I can't deal. 505 00:25:31,146 --> 00:25:33,448 We'll walk! 506 00:25:35,817 --> 00:25:37,652 I'm so sorry. 507 00:25:41,956 --> 00:25:43,624 It's almost the witching hour. 508 00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:46,260 Grab the supplies. Drive the narcissistic cadaver 509 00:25:46,261 --> 00:25:48,228 formerly known as Benji to his final destination, 510 00:25:48,229 --> 00:25:52,333 light a match, and I'm yours forever, Beck. 511 00:25:54,102 --> 00:25:56,837 Well, this is a development. 512 00:25:56,838 --> 00:25:58,640 That's him. 513 00:26:07,849 --> 00:26:08,882 Potassium nitrate. 514 00:26:08,883 --> 00:26:10,317 Six rolls of duct tape. 515 00:26:10,318 --> 00:26:13,253 Fire starter, twine, burlap, wood stakes. 516 00:26:13,254 --> 00:26:15,322 You wanna explain what all this is for? 517 00:26:15,323 --> 00:26:17,124 Explain the shopping list 518 00:26:17,125 --> 00:26:20,461 straight out of "Body Disposal for Dummies"? 519 00:26:20,462 --> 00:26:22,563 I know. 520 00:26:22,564 --> 00:26:24,098 I know how this all must look. 521 00:26:24,099 --> 00:26:26,467 I know involving Paco was the wrong thing to do. 522 00:26:26,468 --> 00:26:29,636 But th-things have been a little crazy for me lately. 523 00:26:29,637 --> 00:26:32,807 I guess I was hoping I could make the world a better place. 524 00:26:36,945 --> 00:26:39,012 You know... It... 525 00:26:39,013 --> 00:26:43,351 it would... it would just be easier if I show you. 526 00:26:44,819 --> 00:26:47,455 Yeah, I'll show you. Come on. 527 00:26:49,891 --> 00:26:52,359 Technically, we're not allowed to plant anything in here. 528 00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:55,529 I was just trying to keep it a bit under wraps. 529 00:26:55,530 --> 00:26:56,864 And the chemicals? 530 00:26:56,865 --> 00:26:58,432 They dissolve roots. 531 00:26:58,433 --> 00:27:00,901 Fire starters? 532 00:27:00,902 --> 00:27:03,471 I like to grill. 533 00:27:05,507 --> 00:27:07,342 Here. 534 00:27:13,982 --> 00:27:15,482 It's good. 535 00:27:15,483 --> 00:27:16,683 Thank you. 536 00:27:16,684 --> 00:27:18,485 So he built a garden. So what? 537 00:27:18,486 --> 00:27:21,555 I told this guy... stay away from my girlfriend's kid. 538 00:27:21,556 --> 00:27:25,526 And what does he do? He gives him money for errands? 539 00:27:26,694 --> 00:27:28,896 Hey, I told you, I'm a parole officer, okay? 540 00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:30,430 We see guys like this all the time. 541 00:27:30,431 --> 00:27:33,901 He's a sicko. I feel it in my gut. 542 00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:36,470 Hey, will you get back inside, Paco? 543 00:27:36,471 --> 00:27:39,173 Just tell your mom I'm gonna be right there, okay, buddy? 544 00:27:39,174 --> 00:27:42,209 All right, all right, all right. 545 00:27:42,210 --> 00:27:45,245 Kid's got ADHD. Tough to manage at times. 546 00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:47,547 But that's what makes him vulnerable to freaks like this. 547 00:27:47,548 --> 00:27:49,817 Look, I apologize if I crossed the line. 548 00:27:49,818 --> 00:27:52,586 I just noticed how hungry Paco is all the time, you know? 549 00:27:52,587 --> 00:27:55,155 I gave him a few dollars to go to the store, honestly, 550 00:27:55,156 --> 00:27:56,690 so he could buy himself a sandwich. 551 00:27:56,691 --> 00:27:59,927 I lend him books from time to time, too... that's all. 552 00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:02,029 Just seems a little neglected. 553 00:28:02,030 --> 00:28:04,998 - You kidding me right now? - I'm not saying they're unfit. 554 00:28:04,999 --> 00:28:07,034 - A lot of people drink... - All right, that's it... 555 00:28:07,035 --> 00:28:08,702 All right, all right, all right. 556 00:28:08,703 --> 00:28:10,804 Sorry to have taken up your time. 557 00:28:10,805 --> 00:28:12,472 Good luck with the garden. 558 00:28:12,473 --> 00:28:15,542 Thank you, Officer. People. They're easy to fool. 559 00:28:15,543 --> 00:28:18,145 Like these cops. I'm the nice, straight-edge guy. 560 00:28:18,146 --> 00:28:19,813 So there's nothing to worry about. 561 00:28:19,814 --> 00:28:22,416 People believe whatever supports their world-view. 562 00:28:22,417 --> 00:28:25,219 Unfortunately, that seems to include you, Beck. 563 00:28:25,220 --> 00:28:28,488 You believed you deserved Benji and his neglect, 564 00:28:28,489 --> 00:28:30,691 and you believe you deserve Peach and her drama 565 00:28:30,692 --> 00:28:32,292 and on and on. 566 00:28:32,293 --> 00:28:34,695 I want to call and tell you, but I can't, 567 00:28:34,696 --> 00:28:37,197 because there's a traditional waiting period 568 00:28:37,198 --> 00:28:38,699 between every goddamn communication 569 00:28:38,700 --> 00:28:40,734 when trying to date someone. 570 00:28:40,735 --> 00:28:43,438 I hate this generation. 571 00:29:15,069 --> 00:29:16,737 Thank you. 572 00:29:19,274 --> 00:29:20,941 Thanks for staying with me. 573 00:29:20,942 --> 00:29:23,043 Honestly, I... I don't know 574 00:29:23,044 --> 00:29:24,912 what I would have done without you. 575 00:29:24,913 --> 00:29:28,048 You can always count on me. 576 00:29:28,049 --> 00:29:29,817 Thanks. 577 00:29:31,886 --> 00:29:34,789 So what do you think about Joe? 578 00:29:36,524 --> 00:29:39,026 Uh... yeah, you know, I like him. 579 00:29:39,027 --> 00:29:41,261 I think I might really like him. 580 00:29:41,262 --> 00:29:44,197 I mean, I wasn't sure if I was ready to get involved, 581 00:29:44,198 --> 00:29:46,633 - but... maybe? - Okay, you can't be serious. 582 00:29:46,634 --> 00:29:50,837 I mean, the guy works at a bookstore. 583 00:29:50,838 --> 00:29:54,708 Beck, look, I know you. 584 00:29:54,709 --> 00:29:57,210 You don't wanna spend your fifth anniversary 585 00:29:57,211 --> 00:30:00,614 going Dutch at Katz's Deli. 586 00:30:00,615 --> 00:30:04,084 You need someone to take care of you. 587 00:30:04,085 --> 00:30:08,055 So you can write, be free, 588 00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:10,090 happy. 589 00:30:10,091 --> 00:30:14,027 Not someone like Joe and his financial limitations. 590 00:30:14,028 --> 00:30:16,129 That is not fair. 591 00:30:16,130 --> 00:30:18,699 Nobody pays me to be fair. 592 00:30:19,133 --> 00:30:20,901 What do you say we get a bite to eat? 593 00:30:20,902 --> 00:30:25,105 - 'Cause I'm starving. - I think I better skip it. 594 00:30:25,106 --> 00:30:27,374 I should really get home. 595 00:30:27,375 --> 00:30:30,044 Glad you're feeling better. 596 00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:49,062 Oh, no. No, not... not now. 597 00:30:49,063 --> 00:30:50,831 Okay, Beck. All right. 598 00:30:50,832 --> 00:30:53,133 Hey. How's the patient? 599 00:30:53,134 --> 00:30:55,535 Better. Thanks for the ride. 600 00:30:55,536 --> 00:30:57,971 The doctor said it was good that we came when we did. 601 00:30:57,972 --> 00:30:59,806 Oh, yeah? 602 00:30:59,807 --> 00:31:03,343 Why don't you meet me back at my place? 603 00:31:03,344 --> 00:31:05,412 Maybe we can pick up where we left off? 604 00:31:05,413 --> 00:31:06,713 What about Peach? 605 00:31:06,714 --> 00:31:09,216 - What about her? - Where is she now? 606 00:31:09,217 --> 00:31:10,417 Indochine. 607 00:31:10,418 --> 00:31:12,285 It's her comfort food. 608 00:31:12,286 --> 00:31:14,221 Perfect. 609 00:31:14,222 --> 00:31:16,523 Peach is gulping steamed Chilean Sea Bass 610 00:31:16,524 --> 00:31:19,059 down her scrawny gullet, and I'm about to get caught. 611 00:31:19,060 --> 00:31:21,194 So... what do you think? 612 00:31:21,195 --> 00:31:23,230 I think you complain about not being able to write, 613 00:31:23,231 --> 00:31:24,865 but then you, you know, drop everything 614 00:31:24,866 --> 00:31:27,234 for some medical emergency, which, by the way, 615 00:31:27,235 --> 00:31:28,935 many believe to be psychosomatic in origin. 616 00:31:28,936 --> 00:31:31,805 I meant about you... coming over. 617 00:31:31,806 --> 00:31:33,640 I wish I could. 618 00:31:33,641 --> 00:31:35,909 Ha. I wish I could, but I'm just really busy right now, 619 00:31:35,910 --> 00:31:37,644 so... in fact, I should go. 620 00:31:37,645 --> 00:31:39,980 Look, I know Peach showing up was bad timing, 621 00:31:39,981 --> 00:31:42,349 but I wasn't exactly writing when she showed up. 622 00:31:42,350 --> 00:31:45,052 No, I know. Pro tip of the day: 623 00:31:45,053 --> 00:31:47,687 screen your calls when you're trying to burn a body, 624 00:31:47,688 --> 00:31:49,256 because it turns out things slip out 625 00:31:49,257 --> 00:31:50,724 that you didn't actually wanna say. 626 00:31:50,725 --> 00:31:52,526 I don't mean to be harsh, but... you know 627 00:31:52,527 --> 00:31:54,227 you're sending some mixed messages, right? 628 00:31:54,228 --> 00:31:55,528 What is that supposed to mean? 629 00:31:55,529 --> 00:31:57,397 I'm... I'm trying to do what you want, 630 00:31:57,398 --> 00:31:59,366 but I-I can't tell what that is. 631 00:31:59,367 --> 00:32:01,167 Like build you a bed, be with you on the bed? 632 00:32:01,168 --> 00:32:02,869 Drop you down the block because your friend 633 00:32:02,870 --> 00:32:04,571 is asking, and not very politely? 634 00:32:04,572 --> 00:32:06,539 Seriously, Joe, shut up. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 635 00:32:06,540 --> 00:32:08,809 I have to go. 636 00:32:08,810 --> 00:32:10,845 But... 637 00:32:11,112 --> 00:32:14,548 - Hey, how's it going? - Good. 638 00:32:14,549 --> 00:32:17,018 That's one hell of a bonfire. 639 00:32:17,985 --> 00:32:20,520 Yeah, what can I say? I went a little crazy. 640 00:32:20,521 --> 00:32:23,590 You know what, you're welcome to join if you like. 641 00:32:23,591 --> 00:32:25,358 Please say no. Please say no. 642 00:32:25,359 --> 00:32:28,095 Oh, that would be great... 643 00:32:28,096 --> 00:32:30,831 but we need to get back to the car 644 00:32:30,832 --> 00:32:32,299 before it gets any darker. 645 00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:34,134 Good luck. 646 00:32:34,135 --> 00:32:37,872 - Yeah, have a good one! - You too. 647 00:32:38,873 --> 00:32:41,409 Did you remember where you parked? 648 00:32:41,876 --> 00:32:44,911 I believe in love at first sight. 649 00:32:44,912 --> 00:32:46,646 I had it with you, Beck. 650 00:32:46,647 --> 00:32:50,083 And maybe, just maybe, I destroyed it 651 00:32:50,084 --> 00:32:55,055 just as fast, in the space of a single phone call. 652 00:32:55,056 --> 00:32:56,356 Was all this for nothing? 653 00:33:02,630 --> 00:33:04,464 "The king and queen, 654 00:33:04,465 --> 00:33:06,733 when they saw their daughter..." 655 00:33:06,734 --> 00:33:10,237 I've been calling Beck, but... 656 00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:11,771 straight to voicemail. 657 00:33:11,772 --> 00:33:13,840 Worst three words in the English language. 658 00:33:13,841 --> 00:33:16,877 I wonder what our kids would have been like. 659 00:33:16,878 --> 00:33:18,945 They'd have grown up reading, not glued to iPads, 660 00:33:18,946 --> 00:33:20,614 and we definitely wouldn't have named them 661 00:33:20,615 --> 00:33:22,215 things like Gulliver or Blaze 662 00:33:22,216 --> 00:33:23,783 or Misti with an "i". 663 00:33:23,784 --> 00:33:26,953 We would have crushed this. Together. 664 00:33:26,954 --> 00:33:30,390 It wasn't supposed to end like this. 665 00:33:30,391 --> 00:33:33,059 Call me back, Beck. 666 00:33:33,060 --> 00:33:34,995 The end. 667 00:33:46,140 --> 00:33:49,342 I don't mean this to blow smoke up your ass or anything, 668 00:33:49,343 --> 00:33:51,678 but your writing makes me think 669 00:33:51,679 --> 00:33:54,381 that Raymond Carver has been reincarnated. 670 00:33:54,382 --> 00:33:56,816 That is so kind of you to say, Tomas. 671 00:33:56,817 --> 00:33:59,452 I was born in '88, the year he died, 672 00:33:59,453 --> 00:34:01,021 so, weirdly enough, 673 00:34:01,022 --> 00:34:03,190 you're not the first person to have said that! 674 00:34:03,191 --> 00:34:06,826 Again, great work, Blythe. Excited to see what's next. 675 00:34:06,827 --> 00:34:08,495 Beck, we weren't expecting you. 676 00:34:08,496 --> 00:34:10,230 You didn't send along pages. 677 00:34:10,231 --> 00:34:11,998 I know. I'm sorry. 678 00:34:11,999 --> 00:34:14,434 And I'm sorry I'm late. It's just... 679 00:34:14,435 --> 00:34:17,437 I wrote them, but they sounded super emo. 680 00:34:17,438 --> 00:34:18,838 So I wrote them up and started over, 681 00:34:18,839 --> 00:34:21,074 and I lost track of time, but, uh... 682 00:34:21,075 --> 00:34:23,643 this... feels like me 683 00:34:23,644 --> 00:34:27,014 and what I want to say. 684 00:34:28,015 --> 00:34:30,483 It's only one page, but... 685 00:34:30,484 --> 00:34:32,219 That isn't really enough for us to critique. 686 00:34:32,220 --> 00:34:35,689 Are we supposed to read it now... in front of you? 687 00:34:35,690 --> 00:34:37,557 That's... kind of awkward. 688 00:34:37,558 --> 00:34:39,492 If that's the case, I should warn you, 689 00:34:39,493 --> 00:34:40,894 I have this facial autism thing 690 00:34:40,895 --> 00:34:42,429 where I can't hide what I'm thinking. 691 00:34:42,430 --> 00:34:44,698 Let's just reschedule 692 00:34:44,699 --> 00:34:48,002 your review for another time. 693 00:35:10,891 --> 00:35:12,326 Beck? 694 00:35:14,829 --> 00:35:16,697 Hey. 695 00:35:17,632 --> 00:35:19,399 Uh... okay, so I hate to admit it, 696 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:20,900 but you were right. 697 00:35:20,901 --> 00:35:22,502 A little bit. 698 00:35:22,503 --> 00:35:24,671 I will do anything for my friends, 699 00:35:24,672 --> 00:35:26,172 and do I hide behind them... Yeah. 700 00:35:26,173 --> 00:35:28,708 And do I use them as an excuse not to write? 701 00:35:28,709 --> 00:35:31,011 Honestly, I'd use anything as an excuse not to write, 702 00:35:31,012 --> 00:35:34,714 because... okay, I'm afraid I might fail... 703 00:35:34,715 --> 00:35:36,650 One terrible page away 704 00:35:36,651 --> 00:35:38,985 from confirming I'm the worst writer in history. 705 00:35:38,986 --> 00:35:42,689 All of that to say if I'm sending mixed messages, 706 00:35:42,690 --> 00:35:46,493 it's because... I don't know who I am. 707 00:35:46,494 --> 00:35:48,895 So how am I supposed to know what I want? 708 00:35:48,896 --> 00:35:51,631 And I know... I know I sound super gross, 709 00:35:51,632 --> 00:35:54,301 like so... I don't know... millennial. 710 00:35:54,302 --> 00:35:56,603 Don't say anything. 711 00:35:56,604 --> 00:35:58,638 In this moment, you are everything. 712 00:35:58,639 --> 00:36:00,106 Here's the thing. 713 00:36:00,107 --> 00:36:04,077 If you know who you are, it's not like you share it. 714 00:36:04,078 --> 00:36:08,748 I mean, you're a Nice Guy with the "You are remarkable" stuff 715 00:36:08,749 --> 00:36:11,484 and Feelings Guy with the "Write what moves you". 716 00:36:11,485 --> 00:36:13,887 But then you try and go down on me 717 00:36:13,888 --> 00:36:15,388 in the middle of a furniture store. 718 00:36:15,389 --> 00:36:16,723 If I didn't know better, 719 00:36:16,724 --> 00:36:18,758 I'd think you were hiding something. 720 00:36:18,759 --> 00:36:21,996 For God's sakes, why are you holding a Pendleton blanket? 721 00:36:24,365 --> 00:36:27,534 I've never even seen your place. 722 00:36:27,535 --> 00:36:30,537 And you never talk about any of your friends. 723 00:36:30,538 --> 00:36:33,040 I mean, who are you? 724 00:36:34,909 --> 00:36:38,311 Okay, that was too much. Um... 725 00:36:38,312 --> 00:36:40,246 It sounded better in my head. 726 00:36:40,247 --> 00:36:43,017 I wanna show you something. 727 00:36:49,557 --> 00:36:52,660 You wanna know me, Beck? 728 00:36:56,764 --> 00:36:59,900 I'll show you exactly who I am. 729 00:37:18,219 --> 00:37:21,688 This is where we keep the rarest books... 730 00:37:21,689 --> 00:37:24,625 The collectibles, first editions. 731 00:37:30,498 --> 00:37:32,265 It's paper, cloth, leather, 732 00:37:32,266 --> 00:37:35,602 paste. It's all vulnerable. 733 00:37:35,603 --> 00:37:37,704 All sensitive to light, 734 00:37:37,705 --> 00:37:39,773 humidity, temperature. 735 00:37:43,477 --> 00:37:45,478 That's why... 736 00:37:45,479 --> 00:37:48,315 they need to be in here. 737 00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:51,752 To protect them. 738 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:55,088 I can take you to my apartment. 739 00:37:55,089 --> 00:37:57,992 Anytime you want. 740 00:38:01,362 --> 00:38:03,530 I want you to meet my friends, I do. 741 00:38:03,531 --> 00:38:07,033 But this... 742 00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,735 this right here 743 00:38:08,736 --> 00:38:13,173 is the most important place in the world to me. 744 00:38:13,607 --> 00:38:17,310 As weird as it sounds... 745 00:38:17,311 --> 00:38:21,414 these books are more alive, 746 00:38:21,415 --> 00:38:24,751 more... worthy 747 00:38:24,752 --> 00:38:27,221 than most people I know. 748 00:38:28,923 --> 00:38:33,160 You wanna know who I am, this is it. 749 00:38:54,548 --> 00:38:56,282 There you are. 750 00:38:56,283 --> 00:39:00,086 That's it. I am officially out of the Tinder business. 751 00:39:00,087 --> 00:39:02,288 Bravo, honey. 752 00:39:02,289 --> 00:39:05,258 I just... Oh, I feel like this is a good step, you know? 753 00:39:05,259 --> 00:39:07,460 Like this is good for me. 754 00:39:07,461 --> 00:39:09,963 Joe is good for me. 755 00:39:09,964 --> 00:39:12,166 Whatever you need, Becks. 756 00:39:12,833 --> 00:39:16,536 No, I'm just saying... And I mean this, honestly... 757 00:39:16,537 --> 00:39:19,372 Maybe a simple life isn't so bad. 758 00:39:19,373 --> 00:39:20,974 Maybe it's what you need. 759 00:39:20,975 --> 00:39:22,842 Maybe I should be looking for that. 760 00:39:22,843 --> 00:39:25,311 Joe isn't simple. He's... he's different. 761 00:39:25,312 --> 00:39:27,780 Complicated. 762 00:39:27,781 --> 00:39:30,316 That's funny... 763 00:39:30,317 --> 00:39:31,985 there's a book missing. 764 00:39:31,986 --> 00:39:35,255 Really? What book is that? 765 00:39:35,256 --> 00:39:36,723 "Ozma of Oz". 766 00:39:36,724 --> 00:39:38,892 Huh. It was just here. 767 00:39:38,893 --> 00:39:41,594 Joe was looking at it at my party. 768 00:39:41,595 --> 00:39:44,064 I'm sure it'll turn up. 769 00:39:54,475 --> 00:39:57,710 You've deleted Tinder, and now you've called 770 00:39:57,711 --> 00:39:59,779 and asked me to come over. 771 00:39:59,780 --> 00:40:05,919 My faith in our epic love story is officially restored. 772 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:07,453 I'm sorry, Joe. I'm so stupid. 773 00:40:07,454 --> 00:40:10,890 I left your list on my bed, and Ron found it. 774 00:40:10,891 --> 00:40:12,992 - I'm sorry. - You're not stupid. 775 00:40:12,993 --> 00:40:16,362 - It's not your fault. - I tried to explain, but... 776 00:40:16,363 --> 00:40:19,566 It's not your fault! 777 00:40:20,701 --> 00:40:22,902 Guys like Ron are bullies. 778 00:40:22,903 --> 00:40:26,472 We just need to stay one step ahead of them. 779 00:40:26,473 --> 00:40:29,943 Like the Musketeers... always one step ahead of the Cardinal. 780 00:40:29,944 --> 00:40:31,277 Right? 781 00:40:31,278 --> 00:40:33,379 One for all... 782 00:40:33,380 --> 00:40:36,250 And all for one. 783 00:40:37,384 --> 00:40:38,384 Paco! 784 00:40:38,385 --> 00:40:40,286 Get inside. 785 00:40:40,287 --> 00:40:44,791 I can smell the bourbon from here. 786 00:40:44,792 --> 00:40:46,793 I told you... 787 00:40:46,794 --> 00:40:48,928 leave the kid alone. 788 00:40:48,929 --> 00:40:50,663 Look, you may have the cops fooled 789 00:40:50,664 --> 00:40:52,565 with your bullshit tomato garden, 790 00:40:52,566 --> 00:40:54,834 but I'm right. 791 00:40:54,835 --> 00:40:57,870 There's something wrong with you. 792 00:40:57,871 --> 00:41:00,507 I see it in your eyes. 793 00:41:09,650 --> 00:41:11,584 File that away 794 00:41:11,585 --> 00:41:13,019 under future problems. 795 00:41:13,020 --> 00:41:14,454 Knock, knock. You here yet? 796 00:41:14,455 --> 00:41:16,789 Because tonight... 797 00:41:16,790 --> 00:41:20,394 tonight I show you... I'm The One. 798 00:42:10,044 --> 00:42:12,145 Oh... 799 00:42:18,385 --> 00:42:20,885 Did you just...