1 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,587 The average American consumes 2 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,414 55 pounds of beef per year. 3 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,625 And then there's Texas, 4 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,336 where we can knock that off in a couple of months. 5 00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,343 Maybe faster, if we're talking about smoked brisket... 6 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,846 ...curiously, the one cut of beef 7 00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:26,729 that Texans and Jews agree upon. 8 00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:30,986 This is really good, Meemaw. 9 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,481 Really good? 10 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,858 You're spitting the best brisket in Texas 11 00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:36,363 all over the damn table. 12 00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,035 Close your mouth when you eat. 13 00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,159 Or aim your face the other way. 14 00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,707 Connie, one of these days, you got to give me the recipe. 15 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,788 You bet. For sure. 16 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,165 - One of these days. - Oh, come on. 17 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,622 You can't hold on to it forever. 18 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:49,956 Mean that much to you? 19 00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:51,336 Mary and I were dating about a month 20 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,214 when she brought me home for dinner. 21 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:54,551 I took one bite of this brisket, 22 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:55,970 and I knew I loved your daughter. 23 00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,422 Gee, thanks. 24 00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:58,506 Kind of like Sleeping Beauty, 25 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,057 except Dad kissed meat. 26 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:03,557 I tell you what. 27 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:04,770 You go get a... 28 00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,480 piece of paper and a pencil, 29 00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:07,773 I'll write it down for you. 30 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,693 Okay. It's happening... 31 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,028 That's the fastest I've seen him run. 32 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,155 It's the only time I've seen him run. 33 00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:20,828 There you go. 34 00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:21,870 Okay. 35 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,369 I might make it this weekend. 36 00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,079 Or you could try a vegetable. 37 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:30,960 Vegetable? That's funny. 38 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,126 Okay. 39 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,503 Now, this is for your eyes only. 40 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:38,884 You're not to share it with anybody. 41 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,681 I never... I would never. 42 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:48,640 You're a horrible person. 43 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,524 What'd it say? 44 00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:51,772 I want to know what it said. 45 00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,649 - Me, too. - Just eat. 46 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,230 Can I read it? 47 00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,619 You are a horrible person. 48 00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:02,991 Ain't I? 49 00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:03,866 All right, that's enough 50 00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,368 about the brisket. 51 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,746 You kids excited for the church picnic tomorrow? 52 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,623 - Not really. - I don't know. 53 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:10,999 Oh, come on. 54 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,171 You all saw the flier. The three "F" s: 55 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,215 food, fun, and fellowship. 56 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,129 And I'm bringing 57 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,632 a big slab of my brisket. 58 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,758 That's it. 59 00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,883 15 years in this family, and all the time I've been nothing 60 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,885 but a good, supportive son-in-law. 61 00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,345 I always treated your daughter right, 62 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,305 I gave you three beautiful grandchildren. 63 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,891 Only thing I ever asked in return was that damn recipe. 64 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,442 You're right. 65 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,612 Get another piece of paper. I'll write it down. 66 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,037 Don't mess with me, Connie. 67 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,285 Get the paper before I change my mind. 68 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,964 You're gonna do it to him again, aren't you? 69 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,837 I kind of have to. 70 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,529 George, she was just fooling with you. 71 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,326 No, no, she's mean. 72 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:25,745 She got a black heart. 73 00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:26,992 She does not. 74 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,823 Why do you always side with her? 75 00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,583 Well, she is my mother. 76 00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:31,910 And there it is. 77 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,040 There's the problem. 78 00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,121 You should be siding with me. 79 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,253 - Over brisket? - It's notjust brisket. 80 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,460 It's the way she's been treating me since day one. 81 00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:43,296 Like I'm some kind of loser, a booby prize. 82 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:46,011 - "Booby prize." - What was that? 83 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,557 Georgie, you mind your own business. 84 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,483 What did I do? 85 00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,820 What's going on? 86 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,527 Mom and Dad are fighting. 87 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,067 What about? 88 00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,276 Brisket. 89 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,163 If they get a divorce, who do you think 90 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,831 you'll pick to live with? 91 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,830 Well, Mom, of course. 92 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,752 I want Mom. Pick again. 93 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,254 I thought Dad was coming. 94 00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,836 No, he had work to do. 95 00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,421 - What kind of work? - I don't know. Coaching stuff. 96 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,051 Can't he do it after the picnic? 97 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,054 - No, Missy, he cannot. - Why not? 98 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,305 Enough. 99 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,562 How come Georgie's not going? 100 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,983 He's grounded for eavesdropping on me and your father. 101 00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,028 Well, I hope he learned his lesson. 102 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,485 Is this about the recipe? 103 00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,326 I bet he's mad 'cause you always side with Meemaw. 104 00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,449 And how would you know that? 105 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,122 Georgie told me. 106 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,450 Are you and Dad getting a divorce? 107 00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,000 'Course not. 108 00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,166 Well, if you do, I want to live with you. 109 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,873 Sheldon, no one's getting a divorce. 110 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,333 But thank you, honey. 111 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,054 You know this all goes away 112 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,015 if you just give him your recipe for the brisket. 113 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,183 I know. 114 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:12,806 And? 115 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,639 I guess it's not going away. 116 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,937 I wasn't eavesdropping. 117 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,738 Don't worry about it. 118 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,816 I just don't see why I got grounded. 119 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,367 What are you complaining about? 120 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,410 You didn't want to go to church picnic anyway. 121 00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,659 I like complaining. I'm good at it. 122 00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:40,963 I'll be right back. 123 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:43,712 Mind if I have a sip of your beer? 124 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,260 You mind if I dip your head in the compost heap? 125 00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,380 You could have just said no. 126 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,326 What are you doing? 127 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,912 Nothing! Get out of here. 128 00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,039 You're looking for her brisket recipe. 129 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:24,749 All of a sudden you got smart? 130 00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,004 I said get out of here. 131 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,676 I won't tell, I swear. 132 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:30,630 All right, help me look. 133 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,263 - Ooh. - Found it? 134 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,268 No, this is her French toast. 135 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,475 You're not looking for French toast. 136 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,234 She does make it good, though. 137 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:45,937 Did you know she puts vanilla extract 138 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,021 in her whipped cream? 139 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,572 I did not. 140 00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:49,865 Quarter teaspoon. 141 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,408 - Georgie? - Yeah? 142 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,236 We're looking for brisket! 143 00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,412 Cranky. 144 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,207 We're home. 145 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,329 Be cool. 146 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,081 I'm cool. You be cool. 147 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,424 Real cool. 148 00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,539 He thought I wrote it down. 149 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,576 What a dope. 150 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,333 Seltzer... 151 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,338 ...hair tonic. Hair tonic. 152 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,506 Need help putting the kids down? 153 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,466 No, thank you, I've been taking care of them all day. 154 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,927 I think I can finish the job. 155 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,431 Oh, come on, don't do that. 156 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,013 Don't do what? 157 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,100 Never mind. 158 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,152 Just so you know, Sheldon and Missy won 159 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,858 the three-legged race because she told him 160 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,364 a bee was chasing them, and you missed it. 161 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,992 I'm sorry, I-I just needed a break from your mother. 162 00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,699 Yeah, well, you took a break from your family. 163 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,955 How long is this feud between you two gonna go on? 164 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,206 That's up to her. 165 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,497 You are both such... 166 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,799 stubborn... donkey butts! 167 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,752 Missy! 168 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,132 Go to bed. 169 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,508 You don't know it's me. 170 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:43,437 Hey. 171 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,856 What do you want? 172 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,392 Don't be that way. 173 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,943 I brought you a cold one. 174 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:52,821 Thanks. 175 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,280 I still don't like you. 176 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,491 Would this change your feelings? 177 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:06,952 Is that it? 178 00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,251 The Holy Grail. 179 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,086 What changed your mind? 180 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,092 You not going to the picnic today, 181 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,969 that hurt Mary and the twins. 182 00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,720 I cannot have that on my heart. 183 00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,219 - Is that so? - Absolutely. 184 00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,729 Look me in the eye and tell me 185 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,023 this is the actual recipe. 186 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,936 George, what you have in your hand 187 00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:35,281 is the exact step-by-step instructions 188 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,443 on how to make my brisket. 189 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,946 I have never written it down until tonight because... 190 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,749 I was afraid someone might steal it. 191 00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,870 But I'm entrusting this to you, 192 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,799 and I hope that someday, when the time is right, 193 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:56,548 you will see fit to share it with one of your children. 194 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:57,970 Connie, I don't know what to say. 195 00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,638 Don't call me Connie. 196 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,763 Call me Mom. 197 00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,472 Thanks, Mom. 198 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,725 You're welcome, son. 199 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,021 Mmm. 200 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,730 What a dope. 201 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,031 The next morning, my dad embarked 202 00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,490 on a doomed quest to make the perfect brisket. 203 00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:27,491 Can I help you? 204 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,164 Matter of fact, you can. 205 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:34,381 I need 12 pounds of prime Angus with a medium deckle, 206 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:38,051 ideally slaughtered in the spring, no later than mid-June. 207 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,308 For the spice rub, 208 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,306 Meemaw had him drive to New Orleans 209 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:49,685 to buy ground coffee from Café Du Monde, 210 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,442 and seven ounces of something called "holy ghost root" 211 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,149 from a voodoo woman named Madam Laveau. 212 00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,361 Could you grind my root for me? 213 00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,908 I-I'm-a... I'm-a rub it on brisket. 214 00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,872 Then back home, he applied the spice rub 215 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,253 with such erotic tenderness, 216 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:20,051 it made my mother a little jealous. 217 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,599 Finally, the cooking began. 218 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,939 14 hours of cooking. 219 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:37,527 And basting. 220 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:40,898 And spritzing. 221 00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,155 And tending to the fire. 222 00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:55,663 Until it was finally time to let the meat rest. 223 00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,304 Rest, my darling. 224 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,470 Rest. 225 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:11,554 Mmm. This Café Du Monde coffee is very good. 226 00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,351 They make it with chicory. 227 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,891 And what does it do to the brisket? 228 00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,401 Oh, I have no idea. 229 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:19,353 Then... 230 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,985 why did you send George all the way to New Orleans? 231 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,237 Well, they don't sell this around here. 232 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:25,734 Mmm. 233 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,365 Here we go. 234 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,745 15 years and 14 hours later. 235 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,826 Best brisket in Texas. 236 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,050 Connie, you evil bitch! 237 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,595 It's smoother than regular coffee. 238 00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,218 That wasn't the recipe. 239 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,265 You looked me in the eye, and you lied to me. 240 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,433 Oh, Mom. 241 00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,728 You broke into my home and tried to steal it. 242 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:53,895 Oh, George. 243 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,143 You told her we went over there? 244 00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,020 Oh, George Jr. 245 00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,942 I didn't say nothing. I was cool. 246 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,769 I am loving this. 247 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,730 I don't want this woman in my house anymore. 248 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,778 - She is my mother. - She is the devil. 249 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,734 And what if the kids want to see her? 250 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:08,610 Fine. 251 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,787 Schedule it for when I'm not here. 252 00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,535 Or when I'm dead. 253 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,087 And quit drinking my coffee. 254 00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,434 Turn off your train, we've got to talk. 255 00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,142 About what? 256 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,848 Mom is so upset about Dad and Meemaw, 257 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,353 she might want a divorce. 258 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,976 No one's getting divorced. 259 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,106 How do you know? 260 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,405 Great, now I have to throw that out. 261 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:49,660 Mother-in-laws are always held in low regard by the father. 262 00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,954 It rarely leads to a breakup of the family. 263 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,163 He's right. 264 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,707 Fred and Wilma are still happily married. 265 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:57,500 I think if we can figure out 266 00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,624 a way for Dad to get Meemaw's brisket recipe, 267 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,080 this all goes away. 268 00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,499 I don't see how we can accomplish that. 269 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,168 Put that down. 270 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,423 That's not a toy. 271 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,378 Sure it is. 272 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,964 Choo choo. 273 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,303 Choo choo... 274 00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,681 Choo choo. 275 00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,350 Open wide, Moonpie. 276 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,023 Here comes the choo choo train. 277 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,146 Choo choo. 278 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,194 Mmm. Isn't that good? 279 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:28,699 That's Meemaw's famous brisket. 280 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,776 Would you like the secret recipe? 281 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,868 You promise not to tell anybody? 282 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,658 Of course you're not gonna tell anybody. 283 00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:41,211 I start with a tablespoon of cumin, 284 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,756 and then a cup of brown sugar, and... 285 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,209 I know the recipe. 286 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:47,342 What? 287 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,543 She told it to me. 288 00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:49,469 When? 289 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,672 February 14, 1982. 290 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,349 I was 23 months old, it was Valentine's Day, 291 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,767 and Mom and Dad went out for dinner. 292 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,262 You were there. Don't you remember? 293 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,651 I got nothing. 294 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,104 You can really remember when you were that little? 295 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,564 Uh-huh. You were there, too. 296 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,490 You were still struggling with potty training. 297 00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,237 I don't think so. 298 00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,571 Oh, yes. Meemaw used to call you Mr. Soggy Pants. 299 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:16,530 Nuh-uh. 300 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,240 Mr. Soggy Pants. 301 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:19,950 Quit it. This is serious. 302 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,001 Sheldon, you've got to tell Dad that recipe. 303 00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,747 But Meemaw told me it was a secret. 304 00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,709 If you don't, and Mom and Dad get a divorce, it's your fault. 305 00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,051 All right. 306 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,003 Fine. 307 00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:34,799 Good job, Soggy Pants. 308 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,970 Dad, could you please come into the living room? 309 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,354 What for? 310 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:42,682 My brain did something impressive 311 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,562 and I'd like to share it with you. 312 00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,314 Hmm. 313 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,569 What are you doing here? 314 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,112 Same as you. 315 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,117 I want to see what his brain did. 316 00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,413 Please have a seat. 317 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,584 All right. 318 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,080 Well? 319 00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,545 I know Meemaw's brisket recipe. 320 00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:10,459 What? 321 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:11,464 No, you don't. 322 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,136 Yes, I do. 323 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,134 And in order to bring peace to this family, 324 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,931 I'm prepared to make it public. 325 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:17,929 You're bluffing. 326 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,555 One tablespoon of cumin, 327 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,760 one cup of brown sugar, 328 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,767 two tablespoons of smoked paprika... 329 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:23,893 Okay, okay, stop. 330 00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:24,939 No, no, no. Keep going. 331 00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,767 How do you know the recipe, Shelly? 332 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,820 Meemaw told it to me on Valentine's Day, 1982. 333 00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,818 You were out with Dad seeing Cannonball Run 334 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,149 at the dollar theater. 335 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,654 That's impossible, you weren't even two years old. 336 00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,406 Three tablespoons of dried mustard, 337 00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,079 one cup of Lone Star beer... 338 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,155 Okay. 339 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:42,874 Okay. 340 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,039 Go ahead. 341 00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,166 Give it to your father. 342 00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,001 I can write it down for you. 343 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,334 That's okay, I don't want it. 344 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,761 You have got to be kidding me. 345 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,008 Connie, you've had every opportunity 346 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,510 to give me that recipe and you never did, 347 00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,307 because you've always treated me like an outsider. 348 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,305 No, she has not. 349 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,601 Oh, of course I have. 350 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:02,973 See? She admits it. 351 00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,013 Damn right, I do. 352 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,983 Never thought you were good enough for my daughter. 353 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:11,145 There you were, riding around on that dumb motorcycle, 354 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,104 knocking her up. 355 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,780 Why don't you kids go in the kitchen 356 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,277 and fix yourselves some ice cream? 357 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:16,984 I'm not going anywhere. 358 00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,196 Hey. I get it. 359 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,494 I have a daughter. 360 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,327 I wouldn't want her bringing home someone like that. 361 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,247 But I've come a hell of a long way since then. 362 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,760 Okay, you're right. 363 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,425 George. 364 00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,095 I'm sorry. 365 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,897 That means more to me than any recipe. 366 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:53,649 Come here. 367 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,574 Don't let the hug fool you. 368 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:06,124 The minute she went home, he made me give him the recipe. 369 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,006 Here we go, maiden voyage. 370 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,051 Mmm, mmm. 371 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,504 Hot damn. 372 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,176 Hot damn. 373 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,429 Hot damn! 374 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,980 George! Language. 375 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:30,057 Sheldon. 376 00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:31,691 Want some? 377 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,562 Uh, no, thank you. I'm not hungry.