1
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Previously on Young Sheldon...

2
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Billy! Mr. Cooper is here.

3
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How you doing?

4
00:00:07,519 --> 00:00:10,044
Do not look under that rock.

5
00:00:11,175 --> 00:00:13,349
But I appreciate you asking.

6
00:00:13,351 --> 00:00:15,090
Hey, you got rejected.

7
00:00:15,092 --> 00:00:17,049
But was it the end of the world?

8
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:18,203
No.

9
00:00:18,206 --> 00:00:20,487
And that is extremely
valuable information.

10
00:00:20,489 --> 00:00:21,923
And honestly...

11
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you dodged a bullet with Missy.

12
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The girl is mean.

13
00:00:25,973 --> 00:00:27,931
Thanks.

14
00:00:35,356 --> 00:00:36,877
Come on, Missy!

15
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:38,314
- Hey.
- Hey!

16
00:00:38,317 --> 00:00:41,224
Came to see your man be a
leader of little people, huh?

17
00:00:41,227 --> 00:00:43,684
I came to see my granddaughter pitch.

18
00:00:43,686 --> 00:00:45,333
Yeah, under my leadership.

19
00:00:45,336 --> 00:00:47,253
All right, Cooper,
let's see what you got.

20
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,517
Come on, girl!

21
00:00:51,389 --> 00:00:52,910
Come on, shake it off!

22
00:00:52,912 --> 00:00:54,479
You got this.

23
00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:00,657
What the hell was that?

24
00:01:00,659 --> 00:01:02,487
Well, there's some leadership.

25
00:01:05,621 --> 00:01:07,403
Time!

26
00:01:07,405 --> 00:01:08,752
Cooper!

27
00:01:08,754 --> 00:01:09,943
Time!

28
00:01:09,946 --> 00:01:13,028
Cooper, what is the problem?

29
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,020
The ball isn't going
where it's supposed to.

30
00:01:15,022 --> 00:01:16,108
I saw that.

31
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:17,560
What am I doing wrong?

32
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Just a little case of the yips.

33
00:01:19,524 --> 00:01:21,635
- It happens.
- What's that?

34
00:01:21,637 --> 00:01:23,854
The yips... you know,
it's when you're thinking

35
00:01:23,856 --> 00:01:25,378
about stuff in your head

36
00:01:25,381 --> 00:01:27,336
and something you've
done a million times,

37
00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:30,555
you can't do it anymore.
Even the pros get it.

38
00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,211
How do I get rid of it?

39
00:01:32,213 --> 00:01:34,561
Uh, just don't think about it.

40
00:01:34,563 --> 00:01:36,260
Okay.

41
00:01:41,358 --> 00:01:44,141
Don't think, just throw.

42
00:01:48,881 --> 00:01:52,144
I hate the little people.

43
00:02:03,227 --> 00:02:09,524
- <font color="#D81D1D">Corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

44
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Damn it!

45
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:21,477
Brenda?

46
00:02:21,479 --> 00:02:22,711
What?

47
00:02:22,714 --> 00:02:24,437
Everything okay over there?

48
00:02:24,439 --> 00:02:26,136
Oh, yeah.

49
00:02:26,852 --> 00:02:28,068
Okay.

50
00:02:29,444 --> 00:02:31,297
Damn it!

51
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:33,271
Okay, give her a go.

52
00:02:36,278 --> 00:02:37,888
You're a lifesaver.

53
00:02:38,817 --> 00:02:40,642
It's a gift.

54
00:02:40,645 --> 00:02:43,368
Can I offer you a beer
and some thank-you cobbler?

55
00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,352
Weren't you on your way somewhere?

56
00:02:45,355 --> 00:02:46,594
Weight Watchers.

57
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:50,027
What do you say?

58
00:02:50,029 --> 00:02:52,119
Eh, sure.

59
00:02:53,471 --> 00:02:55,732
Do guys ever go to those
Weight Watchers meetings?

60
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Yeah, but they're all fat.

61
00:02:59,878 --> 00:03:02,735
Of all the tests one takes in school,

62
00:03:02,738 --> 00:03:05,110
my favorite was the midterm.

63
00:03:05,113 --> 00:03:06,634
Finals weren't bad,

64
00:03:06,637 --> 00:03:08,849
but they also meant
summer was approaching.

65
00:03:08,852 --> 00:03:11,527
I don't believe in
religion, but sunshine,

66
00:03:11,529 --> 00:03:12,992
picnics and pool parties

67
00:03:12,995 --> 00:03:14,733
are proof hell exists.

68
00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:26,343
Aah!

69
00:03:26,346 --> 00:03:27,890
Why are you trying to hit me?

70
00:03:27,893 --> 00:03:29,821
I'm trying to hit the target.

71
00:03:29,824 --> 00:03:31,112
It's over there.

72
00:03:31,114 --> 00:03:33,055
I know, dingus.

73
00:03:35,492 --> 00:03:37,231
I thought you were good at this.

74
00:03:37,234 --> 00:03:38,293
I was.

75
00:03:38,295 --> 00:03:40,861
Coach Dale says I have the yips.

76
00:03:40,863 --> 00:03:42,645
It's not contagious, is it?

77
00:03:42,647 --> 00:03:44,821
No, it happens in sports.

78
00:03:44,823 --> 00:03:47,259
Suddenly you can't do a
thing that used to be easy.

79
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It doesn't sound real.

80
00:03:49,045 --> 00:03:50,703
Then why can't I pitch anymore?

81
00:03:50,706 --> 00:03:52,703
Ooh, perhaps it's the onset of puberty

82
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and the hysterical mood
swings that go with it.

83
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Dingus, house.

84
00:03:56,705 --> 00:03:58,707
You're only proving my point.

85
00:04:02,885 --> 00:04:04,798
What, Billy won an award?

86
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:06,938
Participation.

87
00:04:06,941 --> 00:04:08,323
Big whoop.

88
00:04:08,325 --> 00:04:09,539
I guess it's something.

89
00:04:09,542 --> 00:04:11,489
Well, he ain't the
sharpest pencil in the box,

90
00:04:11,492 --> 00:04:13,235
but he's the sweetest kid I know.

91
00:04:13,238 --> 00:04:15,764
Well, Sheldon is the sharpest pencil.

92
00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:17,399
Sometimes I'd just like

93
00:04:17,402 --> 00:04:19,310
to shove his head in that box.

94
00:04:19,313 --> 00:04:21,641
Where's your trash?

95
00:04:21,643 --> 00:04:22,946
Everywhere.

96
00:04:22,948 --> 00:04:25,603
- But the basket's under the sink.
- Mm.

97
00:04:29,041 --> 00:04:30,954
You know your faucet's leaking?

98
00:04:30,956 --> 00:04:33,435
Yep, this whole place is falling apart.

99
00:04:33,437 --> 00:04:34,539
Well...

100
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,696
I'll come over another
time, and take care of it.Oh.

101
00:04:36,699 --> 00:04:38,875
You know, you don't have to do that.

102
00:04:38,877 --> 00:04:41,269
One more?

103
00:04:41,271 --> 00:04:43,619
I should get going.

104
00:04:43,621 --> 00:04:45,362
Well, thanks again.

105
00:04:47,799 --> 00:04:50,696
Want to buy a house?

106
00:04:52,064 --> 00:04:53,469
Hey, where you been?

107
00:04:53,472 --> 00:04:55,821
Ah, Brenda was having car trouble.

108
00:04:55,824 --> 00:04:57,997
- Just giving her hand.
- That's nice.

109
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,070
I'm sure it's hard being by herself.

110
00:05:00,072 --> 00:05:01,071
Yeah.

111
00:05:01,074 --> 00:05:02,836
That whole house is in need of repair.

112
00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:04,766
I hope you offered to help her out.

113
00:05:04,769 --> 00:05:06,725
I did... she said no.

114
00:05:06,728 --> 00:05:09,078
Well, that's just her being proud.

115
00:05:09,081 --> 00:05:11,214
Of course she wants your help.

116
00:05:12,389 --> 00:05:14,992
I guess some time I'll pop over.

117
00:05:14,995 --> 00:05:16,603
Good.

118
00:05:16,606 --> 00:05:18,758
And when you go, hitch up your pants.

119
00:05:18,761 --> 00:05:21,308
There's a lot going on when you squat.

120
00:05:21,311 --> 00:05:22,703
All right.

121
00:05:22,706 --> 00:05:24,088
You have 45 minutes to complete

122
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:26,357
the test, eyes on your own paper and...

123
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,361
Yes, Sheldon, if you finish
early, you can take it again.

124
00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:30,753
And...

125
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begin!

126
00:05:32,061 --> 00:05:33,278
And I was off.

127
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:34,860
I flew through wave functions.

128
00:05:34,863 --> 00:05:37,106
I dominated harmonic oscillators.

129
00:05:37,109 --> 00:05:39,109
The only challenging part of this exam

130
00:05:39,111 --> 00:05:41,547
was trying to balance the
desire to finish quickly

131
00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:44,465
with the urge to stop and smell
my freshly sharpened pencil.

132
00:05:45,466 --> 00:05:46,639
Mmm.

133
00:05:46,641 --> 00:05:48,293
I was in the zone.

134
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Only one question left.

135
00:05:50,035 --> 00:05:51,419
All I needed to do

136
00:05:51,422 --> 00:05:53,254
was solve Schrodinger's equation

137
00:05:53,256 --> 00:05:55,691
in a cylindrical well
by employing the zeroes

138
00:05:55,693 --> 00:05:57,826
of the Bessel function,
which of course were...

139
00:05:59,423 --> 00:06:01,336
Wait, what are they?

140
00:06:01,339 --> 00:06:03,176
Come on, you know this.

141
00:06:03,179 --> 00:06:05,181
You've done it a million times.

142
00:06:06,487 --> 00:06:08,563
Oh, dear.

143
00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:19,062
All right, Sheldon, time
to turn in your test.

144
00:06:19,064 --> 00:06:20,281
I'm not done yet.

145
00:06:20,283 --> 00:06:22,482
I know you like to add

146
00:06:22,485 --> 00:06:24,503
your own "better questions" at the end,

147
00:06:24,505 --> 00:06:26,443
but for the last time,
I don't count them.

148
00:06:26,446 --> 00:06:28,942
I just need a few more
minutes on this problem.

149
00:06:28,944 --> 00:06:30,203
That's an easy one.

150
00:06:30,206 --> 00:06:32,032
Just apply the zeroes
of the Bessel function.

151
00:06:32,034 --> 00:06:33,686
I know what I have to do.

152
00:06:33,688 --> 00:06:35,039
Is this is a tantrum?

153
00:06:35,042 --> 00:06:37,114
I've heard children your
age like to throw them.

154
00:06:37,117 --> 00:06:38,865
I can't remember what the zeroes

155
00:06:38,867 --> 00:06:40,693
of the Bessel function are.

156
00:06:40,695 --> 00:06:41,868
You didn't memorize them?

157
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:44,087
Of course I did... October 7, 1988.

158
00:06:44,089 --> 00:06:45,698
I had just had a bowl of Teddy Grahams.

159
00:06:45,700 --> 00:06:48,048
Then what's the problem?

160
00:06:48,050 --> 00:06:50,703
I'm blanking, but I'll get it.

161
00:06:50,705 --> 00:06:51,834
Sorry, son, class is over.

162
00:06:51,836 --> 00:06:53,000
No, I can do this.

163
00:06:53,003 --> 00:06:55,271
It's just one question.
You'll still pass.

164
00:06:55,274 --> 00:06:57,768
Sheldon Cooper doesn't "just pass."

165
00:06:57,771 --> 00:06:59,205
I have an idea.

166
00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:00,599
Let me see the test.

167
00:07:00,602 --> 00:07:02,236
Thank you.

168
00:07:02,238 --> 00:07:04,456
Sheldon Cooper isn't always

169
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,297
- that gullible.
- He was today.

170
00:07:07,707 --> 00:07:10,827
All right, almost there.

171
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:13,048
Hand me a screwdriver.

172
00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,663
Don't stick this in an outlet.

173
00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:16,570
It really tingles.

174
00:07:16,573 --> 00:07:19,227
- We had an incident.
- Yeah.

175
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:21,304
You know what?

176
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,567
Why don't you fix it?

177
00:07:22,570 --> 00:07:24,319
- Really?
- Yeah, you see

178
00:07:24,322 --> 00:07:25,321
that little screw there?

179
00:07:25,324 --> 00:07:27,242
Just go ahead and tighten her up.

180
00:07:27,245 --> 00:07:29,332
- Like this?
- Yep.

181
00:07:29,335 --> 00:07:31,343
What now?

182
00:07:31,346 --> 00:07:33,373
Uh, run outside and
turn the water back on.

183
00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:35,918
Here, I'm not allowed to run with this.

184
00:07:35,921 --> 00:07:38,597
We've had a lot of incidents.

185
00:07:40,164 --> 00:07:42,208
- Who knew you were so handy?
- Yeah.

186
00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:44,273
There's just things
guys need to be good at.

187
00:07:44,276 --> 00:07:46,929
What else you good at?

188
00:07:48,805 --> 00:07:50,458
I should go.

189
00:07:55,701 --> 00:07:57,614
Hey, pretty lady.

190
00:07:57,616 --> 00:07:59,921
- Are you drinking already?
- No!

191
00:07:59,923 --> 00:08:02,619
Can't a guy give his wife a compliment?

192
00:08:02,621 --> 00:08:04,273
Do I have to smell your breath?

193
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,883
How about a kiss instead?

194
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:07,276
What is with you?

195
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,799
Well, I don't know.

196
00:08:08,801 --> 00:08:10,932
Kids aren't home.

197
00:08:10,934 --> 00:08:13,452
Now? I'm doing laundry.

198
00:08:13,455 --> 00:08:14,890
Laundry can wait.

199
00:08:14,893 --> 00:08:16,459
So can your thing.

200
00:08:16,461 --> 00:08:18,070
I like to think of it as ourthing,

201
00:08:18,072 --> 00:08:21,160
but if you only have time for
my thing, that's fine, too.

202
00:08:21,162 --> 00:08:23,075
You're being weird.

203
00:08:23,077 --> 00:08:24,859
Weird sexy?

204
00:08:24,861 --> 00:08:25,990
No.

205
00:08:25,992 --> 00:08:28,036
- Headed to the bedroom?
- No!

206
00:08:28,038 --> 00:08:30,258
Just checking.

207
00:08:32,434 --> 00:08:34,521
Missy!

208
00:08:34,523 --> 00:08:36,593
You gave me your yips.

209
00:08:36,596 --> 00:08:37,655
What?

210
00:08:37,658 --> 00:08:39,743
I froze on a test. That's
never happened before.

211
00:08:39,746 --> 00:08:41,005
It's all your fault.

212
00:08:41,007 --> 00:08:42,529
I told you it's not contagious.

213
00:08:42,531 --> 00:08:43,834
You put the thought in my head.

214
00:08:43,836 --> 00:08:45,445
The power of suggestion is very real.

215
00:08:45,447 --> 00:08:47,534
Case in point: tulip mania.

216
00:08:47,536 --> 00:08:49,492
- Here we go.
- Tulip mania

217
00:08:49,494 --> 00:08:51,163
was an insane desire to buy and trade

218
00:08:51,166 --> 00:08:52,800
tulip bulbs in the 1600s.

219
00:08:52,802 --> 00:08:54,584
It nearly ruined the Dutch economy.

220
00:08:54,586 --> 00:08:56,543
You would not believe the
gilders they were spending.

221
00:08:56,545 --> 00:08:58,284
How can you remember
this stupid information,

222
00:08:58,286 --> 00:08:59,981
but not the stuff on your test?

223
00:08:59,983 --> 00:09:01,330
You tell me, they're your yips.

224
00:09:01,332 --> 00:09:03,363
Sheldon, if I knew how to make it stop,

225
00:09:03,366 --> 00:09:04,551
I would tell you.

226
00:09:04,553 --> 00:09:06,248
You better.

227
00:09:06,251 --> 00:09:09,152
Maybe it's puberty
making you all emotional.

228
00:09:09,155 --> 00:09:11,402
I checked my armpits...
Smooth as balloons.

229
00:09:14,215 --> 00:09:17,346
Hey.

230
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:18,953
What's your problem?

231
00:09:18,956 --> 00:09:20,434
I don't want to talk about it.

232
00:09:20,437 --> 00:09:22,308
- Great.
- I had a mental block

233
00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:23,787
on a test and it was something that

234
00:09:23,789 --> 00:09:25,267
I absolutely know how to do.

235
00:09:25,269 --> 00:09:27,574
Oh, you know, that sort of
thing happens in sports, too.

236
00:09:27,576 --> 00:09:28,923
I know. It's called the yips,

237
00:09:28,925 --> 00:09:30,054
and it's a very silly name

238
00:09:30,056 --> 00:09:31,534
for a very serious problem.

239
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,363
Well, you know, the best thing to do

240
00:09:33,366 --> 00:09:35,886
is get out of your head.

241
00:09:35,888 --> 00:09:37,018
How do I do that?

242
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:39,499
Just turn your brain off.

243
00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:41,065
It's like I'm not even your son.

244
00:09:41,067 --> 00:09:42,545
Look.

245
00:09:42,547 --> 00:09:44,714
I know you don't respect
what I do as a coach.

246
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:46,137
Maybe you do know me.

247
00:09:46,140 --> 00:09:48,926
But this is a thing
I actually know about.

248
00:09:48,929 --> 00:09:50,727
I've seen it happen to my players.

249
00:09:50,729 --> 00:09:52,642
I've seen it happen to pros in golf.

250
00:09:52,644 --> 00:09:54,122
In baseball.

251
00:09:54,124 --> 00:09:55,645
The answer is always the same.

252
00:09:55,647 --> 00:09:58,300
Stop thinking and get
out of your own way.

253
00:09:58,302 --> 00:10:01,695
I don't know how to do that.

254
00:10:01,697 --> 00:10:04,524
Have you ever heard the
Nike slogan "Just do it"?

255
00:10:04,526 --> 00:10:06,352
I'm familiar with the
phrase "let's do it,"

256
00:10:06,354 --> 00:10:08,310
uttered by Gary Gilmore, the last person

257
00:10:08,312 --> 00:10:11,010
to be executed by
firing squad in America.

258
00:10:12,164 --> 00:10:15,121
Okay, well, it's a shoe slogan.

259
00:10:15,124 --> 00:10:17,155
And it's good advice.

260
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,413
The answer is already in your head.

261
00:10:19,416 --> 00:10:21,149
Don't think so hard.

262
00:10:21,151 --> 00:10:22,718
Just do it.

263
00:10:23,980 --> 00:10:25,371
I'll try.

264
00:10:25,373 --> 00:10:27,491
Good man.

265
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:30,027
Another fun footwear
slogan is "I'm Buster Brown.

266
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,291
I live in a shoe. That's my dog Tige.

267
00:10:32,293 --> 00:10:33,727
Look for him there, too."

268
00:10:33,729 --> 00:10:35,772
Mm, I think mine is more helpful.

269
00:10:35,774 --> 00:10:37,559
Well, mine rhymes, so...

270
00:10:40,170 --> 00:10:42,910
I decided to heed my father's advice.

271
00:10:42,913 --> 00:10:45,594
I wasn't sure how to turn off my brain.

272
00:10:45,597 --> 00:10:48,293
Thankfully, I lived with an expert.

273
00:10:48,296 --> 00:10:50,047
What's up?

274
00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:52,351
I've never really thought
about not thinking before.

275
00:10:52,354 --> 00:10:54,313
Well, I'm asking you to think about it.

276
00:10:54,315 --> 00:10:56,593
But I thought you were
interested in not thinking.

277
00:10:56,596 --> 00:10:58,403
I am. I want you to
think about not thinking,

278
00:10:58,406 --> 00:10:59,753
and then teach me how to do it.

279
00:10:59,755 --> 00:11:02,059
- Do what?
- Not think.

280
00:11:02,061 --> 00:11:04,107
All right.

281
00:11:06,588 --> 00:11:08,196
This is tough.

282
00:11:08,198 --> 00:11:10,335
I'm good at not thinking,
but I don't think

283
00:11:10,338 --> 00:11:12,505
I can teach you how to
not think without thinking.

284
00:11:12,507 --> 00:11:14,687
Hmm, well, thank you for trying.

285
00:11:14,690 --> 00:11:16,421
Hold on! What if you're thinking

286
00:11:16,424 --> 00:11:17,901
about something else instead?

287
00:11:17,903 --> 00:11:19,903
Would that count as
thinking or not thinking?

288
00:11:19,905 --> 00:11:22,036
I suppose it's similar to the mantras

289
00:11:22,038 --> 00:11:23,765
extolled by the sages of the east.

290
00:11:23,768 --> 00:11:25,681
It's a practice that Swami Vivekananda

291
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:27,954
called Japa Yoga and
it's intended to bring out

292
00:11:27,957 --> 00:11:30,699
a single-pointedness of concentration.

293
00:11:32,178 --> 00:11:33,917
Sorry, I zoned out.

294
00:11:33,919 --> 00:11:35,929
- Ooh, tell me how.
- Let's see.

295
00:11:35,932 --> 00:11:37,062
You were blabbering.

296
00:11:37,065 --> 00:11:38,679
It all started to blur together.

297
00:11:38,682 --> 00:11:39,882
And I was gone.

298
00:11:39,885 --> 00:11:41,881
At what point did it start to happen?

299
00:11:41,884 --> 00:11:43,359
I don't know. Say it again.

300
00:11:43,362 --> 00:11:44,623
I said I suppose

301
00:11:44,626 --> 00:11:46,016
it's similar to the mantras

302
00:11:46,018 --> 00:11:47,773
extolled by the sages of the east.

303
00:11:47,776 --> 00:11:50,994
It's a practice that Swami
Vivekananda called Japa Yoga...

304
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:02,078
That is wild.

305
00:12:05,318 --> 00:12:07,916
The next day, armed with the sage advice

306
00:12:07,919 --> 00:12:09,728
of my father, my brother,

307
00:12:09,731 --> 00:12:13,064
and an executed murderer, I
was allowed to retake the test.

308
00:12:13,096 --> 00:12:16,099
You have 45 minutes starting now.

309
00:12:16,983 --> 00:12:18,444
Okay, just do it.

310
00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:19,608
Just do it.

311
00:12:19,611 --> 00:12:22,220
Just turn your brain off and do it.

312
00:12:22,223 --> 00:12:24,092
Is it off? Am I doing it?

313
00:12:24,095 --> 00:12:26,600
Wait, if I'm thinking it's
off, then it must still be on.

314
00:12:26,603 --> 00:12:29,501
I'm trying too hard. Don't
overthink, just do it.

315
00:12:29,504 --> 00:12:32,014
Just do it, just...

316
00:12:32,017 --> 00:12:35,061
Time's up.

317
00:12:35,064 --> 00:12:36,281
But I didn't do it.

318
00:12:36,284 --> 00:12:37,569
Waste my morning?

319
00:12:37,572 --> 00:12:38,989
You did it.

320
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,210
That toilet won't stop running.

321
00:12:41,212 --> 00:12:42,873
Have you tried jiggling the handle?

322
00:12:42,876 --> 00:12:44,412
I jiggled it, wiggled it.

323
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:46,040
Damn near had a baby with it.

324
00:12:46,042 --> 00:12:47,651
Yeah, let me take a look.

325
00:12:47,653 --> 00:12:51,089
I was fixing to put some dinner
on, if you care to join me.

326
00:12:51,091 --> 00:12:53,020
I don't want to put you out.

327
00:12:53,023 --> 00:12:54,675
It's just frozen lasagna.

328
00:12:54,678 --> 00:12:57,226
But I'm going oven instead of microwave,

329
00:12:57,228 --> 00:12:58,923
'cause you're company.

330
00:12:58,925 --> 00:13:00,925
What are you doing?

331
00:13:00,927 --> 00:13:02,143
What do you mean?

332
00:13:02,145 --> 00:13:04,409
You know what I mean.

333
00:13:06,264 --> 00:13:08,776
I was just trying to thank you.

334
00:13:08,779 --> 00:13:10,345
And you're the one who offered

335
00:13:10,348 --> 00:13:11,956
to come over here and fix things.

336
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,219
I was being nice.

337
00:13:13,222 --> 00:13:14,308
So was I.

338
00:13:14,311 --> 00:13:15,995
Yeah, maybe a little too nice.

339
00:13:15,998 --> 00:13:17,724
There is no pleasing you.

340
00:13:17,726 --> 00:13:18,956
Well, I don't need this here.

341
00:13:18,959 --> 00:13:20,237
I can get fighting at my house.

342
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,338
Then maybe you should
go back to your house.

343
00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:25,128
Mom, can you help with my homework?

344
00:13:25,131 --> 00:13:27,386
There in a sec.

345
00:13:27,388 --> 00:13:29,258
You leaving?

346
00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:30,694
You gonna fix the toilet?

347
00:13:30,696 --> 00:13:32,348
- No.
- Then I guess I'm not leaving.

348
00:13:32,350 --> 00:13:33,697
Thank you. Lasagna?

349
00:13:33,699 --> 00:13:35,394
Small piece. Mary's making tacos.

350
00:13:35,396 --> 00:13:36,631
Okay.

351
00:13:36,634 --> 00:13:38,886
Trying to outsmart my own thought patterns

352
00:13:38,889 --> 00:13:40,443
proved to be challenging.

353
00:13:40,445 --> 00:13:43,750
It's understandable, as smart as I was,

354
00:13:43,752 --> 00:13:45,622
I was also that smart.

355
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:49,321
I wondered if I could
invent a mind control device,

356
00:13:49,324 --> 00:13:51,780
but that sounded a
little too "mwah-ha-ha"

357
00:13:51,783 --> 00:13:53,933
even for me. It turned out

358
00:13:53,936 --> 00:13:55,762
the device I was looking for

359
00:13:55,764 --> 00:13:58,374
had been in my presence the entire time.

360
00:13:58,376 --> 00:14:00,419
Television. It had been tranquilizing

361
00:14:00,421 --> 00:14:02,995
the minds of America's
youth for generations,

362
00:14:02,998 --> 00:14:04,878
and it was just what I needed.

363
00:14:04,881 --> 00:14:06,425
Lift off.

364
00:14:06,427 --> 00:14:08,211
Too interesting.

365
00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:10,603
Too violent.

366
00:14:11,998 --> 00:14:14,346
I don't think so.

367
00:14:14,348 --> 00:14:17,610
Now, then, let's build
us a little cloud.

368
00:14:17,612 --> 00:14:19,537
Clouds are very free.

369
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:21,139
Very, very free.

370
00:14:21,142 --> 00:14:22,686
Tell you what. If you...

371
00:14:22,689 --> 00:14:24,748
That was so much fun, let's get crazy...

372
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:27,751
Who's this bohemian?

373
00:14:27,754 --> 00:14:29,472
If you could have

374
00:14:29,475 --> 00:14:31,929
any job in the high
school, what would it be?

375
00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:34,108
I don't know, why?

376
00:14:34,111 --> 00:14:36,328
Sometimes I look at the janitor

377
00:14:36,331 --> 00:14:38,240
pushing around that buffing machine.

378
00:14:38,243 --> 00:14:41,200
That thing looks like a blast.

379
00:14:41,203 --> 00:14:42,637
He doesn't wear a tie.

380
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,598
No fights with the school board.

381
00:14:45,601 --> 00:14:49,039
Vomit and feces aside,
he's, he's living the dream.

382
00:14:50,447 --> 00:14:52,833
Hello? Am I boring you?

383
00:14:52,836 --> 00:14:53,879
Sorry.

384
00:14:53,882 --> 00:14:55,691
I'm a little distracted.

385
00:14:55,694 --> 00:14:58,564
Trouble at home?

386
00:14:58,566 --> 00:15:00,022
- Something like that.
- Mm.

387
00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,417
You want to talk about it?

388
00:15:02,775 --> 00:15:04,514
No.

389
00:15:04,517 --> 00:15:06,647
Tell me about your fun bachelor life.

390
00:15:06,650 --> 00:15:08,701
Well, as of last week, I officially

391
00:15:08,704 --> 00:15:11,061
tasted every Campbell's soup.

392
00:15:11,064 --> 00:15:12,944
Come on, Tom.

393
00:15:12,947 --> 00:15:14,773
I'm trying to live vicariously here.

394
00:15:14,776 --> 00:15:16,582
There's got to be something good.

395
00:15:16,584 --> 00:15:19,585
Let's see, I go hunting and
fishing whenever I feel like it.

396
00:15:19,587 --> 00:15:21,195
Now we're getting somewhere.

397
00:15:21,197 --> 00:15:24,503
- Spend my money on whatever I want.
- Mm.

398
00:15:24,505 --> 00:15:26,418
What was the last thing you got?

399
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:28,928
Foreman fight on pay-per-view.

400
00:15:28,931 --> 00:15:32,287
I ate a bucket of chicken and
watched it in my underwear.

401
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:33,561
You lucky bastard.

402
00:15:33,564 --> 00:15:35,209
Uh-huh.

403
00:15:35,212 --> 00:15:36,490
What about women?

404
00:15:36,493 --> 00:15:39,069
Honestly...

405
00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:42,215
it's tough to meet people at this age.

406
00:15:42,218 --> 00:15:44,358
No, come on, charming fella like you?

407
00:15:45,450 --> 00:15:46,948
Sadly, this is the best night out

408
00:15:46,951 --> 00:15:48,788
I've had in a long time.

409
00:15:48,790 --> 00:15:51,498
Yeah. Me, too.

410
00:15:51,501 --> 00:15:54,620
But if you know anybody,
send them my way.

411
00:15:58,321 --> 00:16:00,541
Yeah, I'll think about.

412
00:16:02,064 --> 00:16:04,334
You ever eat chicken in your underwear?

413
00:16:04,337 --> 00:16:05,588
What do you think?

414
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:07,412
- Yes.
- Yes.

415
00:16:07,415 --> 00:16:09,286
Making a gorgeous little mountain.

416
00:16:09,289 --> 00:16:10,428
Ooh.

417
00:16:10,431 --> 00:16:13,058
Little stand of evergreens
that lives right in here.

418
00:16:13,061 --> 00:16:15,380
I didn't know Richard Simmons can paint.

419
00:16:15,382 --> 00:16:16,795
His name's Bob Ross.

420
00:16:16,798 --> 00:16:18,494
And he's oddly hypnotic.

421
00:16:18,497 --> 00:16:19,887
You're gonna paint?

422
00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:21,647
No, I just like watching him.

423
00:16:21,649 --> 00:16:23,147
I can't explain it, but his voice

424
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,998
and demeanor are comforting,
like a hot beverage.

425
00:16:26,001 --> 00:16:28,132
Let's get crazy and, once again,

426
00:16:28,134 --> 00:16:30,569
just pull it out, just
like we did the other one.

427
00:16:30,571 --> 00:16:32,005
Yawn.

428
00:16:32,007 --> 00:16:35,269
Barely touch, whisper.

429
00:16:35,271 --> 00:16:37,271
Just whisper light.

430
00:16:37,273 --> 00:16:38,751
Let it go.

431
00:16:38,753 --> 00:16:40,717
Let it go, no pressure.

432
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:43,451
The yips are a cruel mistress.

433
00:16:43,454 --> 00:16:46,759
But thanks to a magical
man with a halo of curls,

434
00:16:46,761 --> 00:16:50,917
I was finally able to relax
and get out of my own head.

435
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:54,767
Instead of freezing up, I
thought about happy integers.

436
00:16:54,769 --> 00:16:57,291
Fluffy little formulas

437
00:16:57,293 --> 00:16:59,511
and a sweet Bessel
function that just wants me

438
00:16:59,513 --> 00:17:00,556
to do my very best.

439
00:17:00,558 --> 00:17:01,631
Done.

440
00:17:01,634 --> 00:17:03,464
Great, I can still
make my doubles match.

441
00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:04,823
Get out.

442
00:17:09,663 --> 00:17:11,290
Damn it.

443
00:17:11,293 --> 00:17:13,662
- Hold it. Time, time, time.
- Time!

444
00:17:13,702 --> 00:17:15,526
I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

445
00:17:15,529 --> 00:17:17,573
Ah, don't worry about
it. It's not your fault.

446
00:17:17,575 --> 00:17:19,218
- It isn't?
- No, I'm the one

447
00:17:19,221 --> 00:17:21,708
that let a girl pitch. It's my mistake.

448
00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:24,143
What? I've won so many games.

449
00:17:24,146 --> 00:17:25,450
Oh, that was then.

450
00:17:25,452 --> 00:17:27,289
Why are you being so mean?

451
00:17:27,292 --> 00:17:30,032
Well, why are you getting
so emotional, like women do?

452
00:17:30,035 --> 00:17:32,165
Maybe you ought to be a cheerleader.

453
00:17:32,168 --> 00:17:34,038
You trying to make me mad?

454
00:17:34,041 --> 00:17:35,547
- Is it working?
- Yeah.

455
00:17:35,549 --> 00:17:36,766
Well, I tell you what,

456
00:17:36,768 --> 00:17:39,073
picture my face in the catcher's mitt.

457
00:17:39,075 --> 00:17:40,074
What?

458
00:17:40,076 --> 00:17:41,553
Do I have to dumb it down for you?

459
00:17:41,555 --> 00:17:43,730
Just do what I tell you.

460
00:17:52,088 --> 00:17:54,044
- Strike!
- Yes!

461
00:17:54,046 --> 00:17:57,452
Aw, don't get all
hysterical, little girl!

462
00:17:57,455 --> 00:17:58,962
You suck!

463
00:17:58,964 --> 00:18:00,148
You suck!

464
00:18:00,151 --> 00:18:02,531
No! You suck!

465
00:18:02,533 --> 00:18:04,663
Strike!

466
00:18:04,665 --> 00:18:07,886
I am the leader of the little people.

467
00:18:10,112 --> 00:18:15,862
- <font color="#D81D1D">Corrected by VitoSilans</font> -
-- <font color="#138CE9">www.Addic7ed.com</font> --

