1
00:00:09,411 --> 00:00:12,129
Well, here we are.
Hedgewick's World -
2
00:00:12,187 --> 00:00:15,585
the biggest and best amusement
park there will ever be
3
00:00:15,587 --> 00:00:17,625
and we've got a golden ticket!
4
00:00:17,627 --> 00:00:20,305
Eh, eh? Fun! Fun?
5
00:00:20,307 --> 00:00:23,225
Your stupid box can't even get us
to the right place.
6
00:00:23,227 --> 00:00:26,505
This is, like, a moon base or
something. It's not the moon.
7
00:00:26,507 --> 00:00:30,345
Actually, I think it does
look like the moon. Only dirtier.
8
00:00:30,347 --> 00:00:33,065
Hey, guys it's not the moon, OK?
9
00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:35,305
It's a Spacey Zoomer ride, or it
was.
10
00:00:35,307 --> 00:00:39,185
Psst! 'Scuse I. I don't suppose you
happen to be my lift off planet?
11
00:00:39,187 --> 00:00:41,985
Dave's Discount Interstellar
Removals? 'Fraid not.
12
00:00:41,987 --> 00:00:44,145
They were meant to be here six
months ago.
13
00:00:44,147 --> 00:00:46,185
That's Dave for you, see,
unreliable.
14
00:00:46,187 --> 00:00:48,705
Stay where you are! Oops.
15
00:00:48,707 --> 00:00:52,305
Throw down your weapons
and identify yourselves.
16
00:00:52,307 --> 00:00:54,745
No. No weapons! Golden ticket!
17
00:00:54,747 --> 00:00:56,865
Spacey Zoomer? Free ice cream?
18
00:00:56,867 --> 00:01:00,745
Who are you? This planet is closed,
by Imperial order.
19
00:01:00,747 --> 00:01:02,745
How's this?
20
00:01:02,747 --> 00:01:06,505
Oh. Welcome, Proconsul. I wish
they'd told us you were coming.
21
00:01:06,507 --> 00:01:07,985
Any news of the Emperor?
22
00:01:07,987 --> 00:01:11,905
Oh, the Emperor... No, no,
none that you'd, er...
23
00:01:11,907 --> 00:01:13,465
We pray for his return.
24
00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:16,945
If there is anything you need,
my platoon is at your service.
25
00:01:16,947 --> 00:01:20,225
Right! Righty-oh.
Well, carry on, Captain.
26
00:01:20,227 --> 00:01:22,865
Platoon, let's move out.
27
00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:26,025
On the double. Two, three, four!
Two, three, four!
28
00:01:26,027 --> 00:01:27,347
Two, three, four!
29
00:01:29,067 --> 00:01:30,265
Have they gone?
30
00:01:30,267 --> 00:01:31,305
Yes.
31
00:01:31,307 --> 00:01:33,947
Uniforms give me
the heebie-jeebies. Come on.
32
00:01:36,947 --> 00:01:39,465
They can't stop me being here,
but they don't like it.
33
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:42,625
Ha-ha! You see?
34
00:01:42,627 --> 00:01:45,785
I told you it was amazing.
Well, it used to be.
35
00:01:45,787 --> 00:01:48,705
It closed down. Wish I'd known
that before I landed here.
36
00:01:48,707 --> 00:01:51,345
But let me show you my collection.
37
00:01:51,347 --> 00:01:54,507
Come along, follow me,
this way. This way in, come on.
38
00:01:55,507 --> 00:01:56,705
Welcome to my show...
39
00:01:56,707 --> 00:02:02,385
Webley's World of Wonders. Miracles,
marvels and more await you.
40
00:02:02,387 --> 00:02:04,147
I am impresario Webley.
41
00:02:06,027 --> 00:02:12,305
You see before you waxwork
representations of the famous...
42
00:02:12,307 --> 00:02:14,665
and the infamous.
43
00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,667
Anybody here play chess?
44
00:02:18,107 --> 00:02:19,665
Perhaps you, young man?
45
00:02:19,667 --> 00:02:21,785
Actually, I'm in my school
chess club.
46
00:02:21,787 --> 00:02:23,347
Ah, follow me.
47
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:31,265
Now, let me demonstrate to you all
the wonder of the age,
48
00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:33,025
the miracle of modernity.
49
00:02:33,027 --> 00:02:35,625
We defeated them all,
a thousand years ago.
50
00:02:35,627 --> 00:02:39,865
But now he's back, to destroy you.
51
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:42,345
Behold! The enemy!
52
00:02:42,347 --> 00:02:44,187
Cyberman! Get down!
53
00:02:46,955 --> 00:03:19,558
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
54
00:03:20,307 --> 00:03:22,265
No need to panic, my young friends.
55
00:03:22,267 --> 00:03:24,505
We all know there are no more
living Cybermen.
56
00:03:24,507 --> 00:03:30,505
What you are seeing is a miracle -
the 699th wonder of the universe.
57
00:03:30,507 --> 00:03:33,225
As displayed before the Imperial
court,
58
00:03:33,227 --> 00:03:36,065
and only here to destroy you -
at chess!
59
00:03:36,067 --> 00:03:38,305
Careful now. An empty shell.
60
00:03:38,307 --> 00:03:40,665
And yet it moves.
61
00:03:40,667 --> 00:03:42,665
How? Magic.
62
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:45,545
That might well be, young lady.
63
00:03:45,547 --> 00:03:50,585
A single penny wins you five
Imperial shillings
64
00:03:50,587 --> 00:03:54,905
if you can beat
this empty shell at chess.
65
00:03:54,907 --> 00:03:58,505
I haven't got a penny.
But I've got a sandwich.
66
00:03:58,507 --> 00:04:00,267
All right, take a seat.
67
00:04:01,627 --> 00:04:07,147
It is free of all devices,
and yet it has never been beaten.
68
00:04:08,547 --> 00:04:11,467
Would you like to make the first
move, young man?
69
00:04:17,347 --> 00:04:20,225
Oh, no, Artie.
No, don't do that, it...
70
00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,787
It's a fool's mate.
71
00:04:24,267 --> 00:04:27,945
If you can tell me how it works,
I'll give you a silver penny.
72
00:04:27,947 --> 00:04:30,267
I think... you do it with mirrors.
73
00:04:31,347 --> 00:04:36,665
Hmm, mirrors, clever girl.
Well, let's see, hey? Low tech.
74
00:04:36,667 --> 00:04:40,147
It's a puppet, monofilament strings,
which means the brains are in...
75
00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:46,307
Hello. Hello. I'm the brains. Hello.
Give us a hand.
76
00:04:50,907 --> 00:04:53,025
They call me Porridge.
77
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:55,225
Ah, it's good to be out of that box.
78
00:04:55,227 --> 00:04:59,747
For you, Miss... an Imperial penny.
79
00:05:04,707 --> 00:05:08,027
I have not one
but THREE Cybermen in my collection.
80
00:05:10,787 --> 00:05:12,625
Is that the king? Emperor.
81
00:05:12,627 --> 00:05:16,705
Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, etc, etc,
the 41st - defender of humanity,
82
00:05:16,707 --> 00:05:19,785
imperator of known space.
He looks a bit full of himself.
83
00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:22,105
Don't say things like that
about the Imperial family -
84
00:05:22,107 --> 00:05:24,185
you can end up on the run
for the rest of your life.
85
00:05:24,187 --> 00:05:26,425
They don't sound very nice.
86
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:29,385
Go on. If the kids want to ride
the Spacey Zoomer,
87
00:05:29,387 --> 00:05:31,625
then I can operate
the gravity console.
88
00:05:31,627 --> 00:05:32,947
Angie!
89
00:05:37,907 --> 00:05:40,585
Whoa!
90
00:05:40,587 --> 00:05:43,867
Smile! Say, "Spacey Zoomer!"
91
00:05:46,707 --> 00:05:49,107
We're flying! Having a good time?
92
00:05:56,187 --> 00:05:59,225
I think that was the most fun
I've had in my whole life.
93
00:05:59,227 --> 00:06:00,945
It was...
94
00:06:00,947 --> 00:06:02,307
OK.
95
00:06:03,507 --> 00:06:06,785
Clara? I think outer space is
actually very interesting.
96
00:06:06,787 --> 00:06:09,905
Right, wonderful day out, Doctor,
but it's time to get the kids home.
97
00:06:09,907 --> 00:06:13,065
Yeah. Um, no.
Not actually ready to leave.
98
00:06:13,067 --> 00:06:16,225
Why not? I dunno. Reasons.
99
00:06:16,227 --> 00:06:18,705
What reasons? Insects. Funny insects.
100
00:06:18,707 --> 00:06:21,425
I should add them
to my funny insect collection.
101
00:06:21,427 --> 00:06:24,665
You collect funny insects?
Yeah, I'm starting to.
102
00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:26,147
Right now.
103
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,785
How long do we have to stay here?
104
00:06:29,787 --> 00:06:32,905
Not long. Have a nap. I'll wake you
when we're ready to leave.
105
00:06:32,907 --> 00:06:34,745
Comfy? Sleep well.
106
00:06:34,747 --> 00:06:36,067
Good night.
107
00:06:40,027 --> 00:06:41,785
Don't wander off.
108
00:06:41,787 --> 00:06:44,785
I'm not just saying,
"Don't wander off" - I MEAN it.
109
00:06:44,787 --> 00:06:48,585
Otherwise you'll wander off,
and the next thing you know,
110
00:06:48,587 --> 00:06:51,625
somebody's going to have to start
rescuing somebody.
111
00:06:51,627 --> 00:06:55,147
From what? Nothing. Nobody needs
rescuing from anything.
112
00:06:56,547 --> 00:06:58,665
Don't wander off.
113
00:06:58,667 --> 00:06:59,907
Sweet dreams.
114
00:07:10,107 --> 00:07:13,625
Mmm. Mmm!
115
00:07:13,627 --> 00:07:16,665
Total takings for the day -
one sandwich.
116
00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:18,505
Better than no sandwich, of course.
117
00:07:18,507 --> 00:07:21,787
Not as good as TWO sandwiches,
or even a chicken...
118
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,705
That's a bit odd.
119
00:07:24,707 --> 00:07:27,667
That's not funny,
give me my hands back.
120
00:07:37,867 --> 00:07:41,025
Upgrade in progress!
121
00:07:41,027 --> 00:07:43,345
I HATE the future. It's stupid.
122
00:07:43,347 --> 00:07:46,025
There's not even phone service.
I'm out of here.
123
00:07:46,027 --> 00:07:47,585
The Doctor said to not wander off.
124
00:07:47,587 --> 00:07:49,425
He said that,
125
00:07:49,427 --> 00:07:52,225
and then he wandered off.
I don't think Clara would like that.
126
00:07:52,227 --> 00:07:55,067
She's not our mum.
Don't leave me here.
127
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:01,265
Was this really the biggest
amusement park in the universe?
128
00:08:01,267 --> 00:08:03,145
Yeah. Hedgewick bought the planet
cheap.
129
00:08:03,147 --> 00:08:06,145
It'd been trashed in the Cyber-Wars.
Who were we fighting?
130
00:08:06,147 --> 00:08:10,265
Cybermen. Technologically upgraded
warriors. We couldn't win.
131
00:08:10,267 --> 00:08:11,665
Sometimes we fought to a draw,
132
00:08:11,667 --> 00:08:15,145
but then they'd upgrade themselves,
fix their weaknesses and destroy us.
133
00:08:15,147 --> 00:08:18,265
It's hard to fight an enemy that
uses your armies as spare parts.
134
00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:21,185
You beat them, though - beat them
or you wouldn't be here. How?
135
00:08:21,187 --> 00:08:24,865
Look up there - that corner
of the sky. What do you see?
136
00:08:24,867 --> 00:08:26,945
Nothing. It's just black.
137
00:08:26,947 --> 00:08:29,385
No stars, no nothing.
138
00:08:29,387 --> 00:08:33,945
Used to be the Tiberion Spiral
Galaxy. A million star systems.
139
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:37,265
A hundred million worlds.
A billion trillion people.
140
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:41,987
It's not there any more. No more
Tiberion galaxy. No more Cybermen.
141
00:08:43,587 --> 00:08:45,025
It was effective.
142
00:08:45,027 --> 00:08:47,865
It's horrible. Yeah.
143
00:08:47,867 --> 00:08:49,825
I feel like a monster sometimes.
144
00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:51,065
Why?
145
00:08:51,067 --> 00:08:54,145
Because instead of mourning
a billion trillion dead people,
146
00:08:54,147 --> 00:08:55,945
I just feel sorry for the poor
blighter
147
00:08:55,947 --> 00:08:58,065
who had to press the button
and blow it all up.
148
00:08:58,067 --> 00:09:01,505
Clara! Did you tell Angie
she could go to the barracks?
149
00:09:01,507 --> 00:09:02,945
You KNOW I didn't.
150
00:09:02,947 --> 00:09:05,785
She hasn't...
She's just gone in there.
151
00:09:05,787 --> 00:09:07,627
Come on.
152
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:12,705
I can't fix this.
It can't be broken.
153
00:09:12,707 --> 00:09:15,225
It's a solid state sub-ether
ansible class communicator.
154
00:09:15,227 --> 00:09:16,785
Just run the diagnostics.
155
00:09:16,787 --> 00:09:20,385
There's nothing left to diagnose.
It's not broken. It's empty.
156
00:09:20,387 --> 00:09:23,985
All the components have gone. Well,
you must have replacement parts.
157
00:09:23,987 --> 00:09:25,585
Not enough to build a new one.
158
00:09:25,587 --> 00:09:28,265
Captain, the weather-controller
is malfunctioning again.
159
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:29,865
There's storms, heat waves, snow.
160
00:09:29,867 --> 00:09:33,905
Hello. I'm bored!
161
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:35,665
Where's your big sister?
162
00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:39,025
Clara? She's not my sister.
She's stupid.
163
00:09:39,027 --> 00:09:41,025
She's talking to Porridge.
164
00:09:41,027 --> 00:09:42,945
She talks to her porridge?
165
00:09:42,947 --> 00:09:44,867
Porridge. That little bloke.
166
00:09:47,707 --> 00:09:49,267
We need to have a chat.
167
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:57,587
I'm not scared, if you're wondering.
168
00:09:58,707 --> 00:10:01,347
I just think I ought to turn
the lights back on.
169
00:10:37,467 --> 00:10:39,425
So, tell me about the little bloke.
170
00:10:39,427 --> 00:10:41,145
Well, you must have seen him.
171
00:10:41,147 --> 00:10:44,305
Angie, Angie! She has to turn up
and spoil everything!
172
00:10:44,307 --> 00:10:47,907
I wasn't doing anything!
Why can't you just leave me alone?!
173
00:10:51,707 --> 00:10:53,025
Cyberman!
174
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:55,425
Angie!
175
00:10:55,427 --> 00:10:57,027
Attack formation!
176
00:10:58,507 --> 00:10:59,907
No!
177
00:11:02,227 --> 00:11:04,187
Attack formation - quickly!
178
00:11:07,747 --> 00:11:10,345
Upgrade in progress!
179
00:11:10,347 --> 00:11:12,067
Angie!
180
00:11:25,907 --> 00:11:27,065
Angie! Clara, Clara...!
181
00:11:27,067 --> 00:11:29,185
That was a Cyberman!
But they're extinct.
182
00:11:29,187 --> 00:11:32,467
Listen to me, I will get her back.
Captain, a word, please.
183
00:11:33,907 --> 00:11:35,505
Now, correct me if I'm wrong,
184
00:11:35,507 --> 00:11:38,225
but I take it your platoon
doesn't do much fighting?
185
00:11:38,227 --> 00:11:40,145
What do you expect? What?
186
00:11:40,147 --> 00:11:41,505
We're a punishment platoon.
187
00:11:41,507 --> 00:11:44,267
It's why they sent us out here,
so we can't get into trouble.
188
00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:49,625
Ah, right, right, well, OK.
As Imperial Consul,
189
00:11:49,627 --> 00:11:51,745
I am putting Clara in charge.
190
00:11:51,747 --> 00:11:53,305
Clara, stay alive until I get back,
191
00:11:53,307 --> 00:11:56,425
and don't let anyone blow up
this planet.
192
00:11:56,427 --> 00:11:58,225
Is that something
they're likely to do?
193
00:11:58,227 --> 00:12:00,505
Get to somewhere defensible.
Where are YOU going?
194
00:12:00,507 --> 00:12:04,185
I'm getting Angie, finding Artie
and looking for funny insects.
195
00:12:04,187 --> 00:12:08,667
Stay alive. And you lot,
no blowing up this planet!
196
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,747
Put me down! I hate you!
197
00:12:18,347 --> 00:12:20,867
Artie? Artie, what's happening?
198
00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:25,505
Please stand by.
199
00:12:25,507 --> 00:12:27,947
You will be upgraded.
200
00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:36,465
Cyberiad class weaponry.
I've taken it out of storage.
201
00:12:36,467 --> 00:12:40,665
Good. We need to find somewhere
defensible. Where?
202
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:44,225
The beach, the Giant's Cauldron...
203
00:12:44,227 --> 00:12:46,265
Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle.
204
00:12:46,267 --> 00:12:48,425
Real castle? Drawbridge? Moat?
205
00:12:48,427 --> 00:12:49,905
Yes. But comical.
206
00:12:49,907 --> 00:12:51,625
We'll go there.
207
00:12:51,627 --> 00:12:54,385
Ma'am... My platoon can deal
with one Cyberman.
208
00:12:54,387 --> 00:12:57,505
And there are protocols if we cannot
immediately find and destroy it.
209
00:12:57,507 --> 00:13:00,305
Blowing-up-the-planet protocols?
Respectfully, ma'am...
210
00:13:00,307 --> 00:13:02,545
Somewhere defensible.
No blowing up the planet.
211
00:13:02,547 --> 00:13:05,907
She's your commanding officer now,
isn't she, Captain?
212
00:13:09,827 --> 00:13:11,227
Yes...
213
00:13:12,547 --> 00:13:13,707
sir.
214
00:13:17,707 --> 00:13:20,185
You really saw a Cyberman?
We really did.
215
00:13:20,187 --> 00:13:23,345
Have you reported it
to the Imperium? No communicators.
216
00:13:23,347 --> 00:13:25,345
So you're going to do what she says.
217
00:13:25,347 --> 00:13:28,587
Right, let's all spend the night
at Natty Longshoe's Comical Castle.
218
00:13:30,547 --> 00:13:31,747
Artie?
219
00:13:39,507 --> 00:13:40,985
Firstly,
220
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,745
if anybody's watching this,
221
00:13:42,747 --> 00:13:46,385
those children are under my
protection. I'm coming to get them.
222
00:13:46,387 --> 00:13:48,745
And secondly...
223
00:13:48,747 --> 00:13:50,347
little metal machine...
224
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:54,227
you are beautiful.
225
00:14:03,027 --> 00:14:05,307
Not even a Cybermat any more, eh?
226
00:14:07,027 --> 00:14:08,587
Cybermites?
227
00:14:14,667 --> 00:14:18,825
Now... there's a local transmat link
open to your home.
228
00:14:18,827 --> 00:14:21,107
If I can just find the frequency...
229
00:14:24,547 --> 00:14:26,305
Hey, that really shouldn't
have worked.
230
00:14:26,307 --> 00:14:28,627
Doctor, help us. Angie! Artie!
231
00:14:34,387 --> 00:14:39,265
Webley? We needed children,
but the children had stopped coming.
232
00:14:39,267 --> 00:14:40,985
You brought us children.
233
00:14:40,987 --> 00:14:45,707
Hail to you, the Doctor,
saviour of the Cybermen!
234
00:14:46,907 --> 00:14:49,905
What would the Empire do
if they WERE alerted? I told you -
235
00:14:49,907 --> 00:14:51,465
tell me to blow up the planet.
236
00:14:51,467 --> 00:14:53,425
After they got us off?
237
00:14:53,427 --> 00:14:57,345
Captain, you want to take that one?
No, ma'am. Just blow the sucker up.
238
00:14:57,347 --> 00:14:59,305
Drawbridge, moat - brilliant.
239
00:14:59,307 --> 00:15:02,345
With respect, ma'am,
we ought to be hunting the creature.
240
00:15:02,347 --> 00:15:05,585
The only reason I'm still alive is
because I do what the Doctor says.
241
00:15:05,587 --> 00:15:09,465
Can you guarantee me you'd bring
back my children alive and unharmed?
242
00:15:09,467 --> 00:15:12,305
I trust the Doctor.
You think he knows what he's doing?
243
00:15:12,307 --> 00:15:13,907
I'm not sure I'd go THAT far.
244
00:15:16,387 --> 00:15:19,865
As the battle raged
between humanity and the Cyberiad,
245
00:15:19,867 --> 00:15:23,985
the Cyber-Planners built a Valkyrie,
to save critically damaged units
246
00:15:23,987 --> 00:15:28,225
and bring them here
and, one by one, repair them.
247
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:30,705
The people who vanished
from the amusement park -
248
00:15:30,707 --> 00:15:33,065
they were spare parts
249
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:34,345
for repairs.
250
00:15:34,347 --> 00:15:37,825
We've upgraded ourselves.
The next model will be undefeatable.
251
00:15:37,827 --> 00:15:40,265
Nothing's undefeatable.
252
00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:43,945
We needed children
to build a new Cyber-Planner.
253
00:15:43,947 --> 00:15:49,345
A child's brain, with its infinite
potential, is perfect for our needs.
254
00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:50,945
But we no longer need the children.
255
00:15:50,947 --> 00:15:54,785
The Cybermites have been scanning
YOUR brain, Doctor.
256
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,065
It's quite remarkable.
257
00:15:56,067 --> 00:16:00,305
Also completely useless to you.
Cybermen use human parts.
258
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:03,505
I'm not human.
259
00:16:03,507 --> 00:16:05,705
You can't convert non-humans.
260
00:16:05,707 --> 00:16:09,625
Well, that was true a long time ago.
But we've upgraded ourselves.
261
00:16:09,627 --> 00:16:13,507
Current Cyber units use
almost any living components.
262
00:16:20,747 --> 00:16:22,547
Aaaargh!
263
00:16:28,627 --> 00:16:30,347
Incorporated. Yes.
264
00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:34,505
Unfamiliar pulmonary set-up.
265
00:16:34,507 --> 00:16:36,545
Nervous system hyperconductive.
266
00:16:36,547 --> 00:16:38,867
Remarkable brain processing speed.
267
00:16:40,427 --> 00:16:44,467
Ooh! Amazing!
268
00:16:45,907 --> 00:16:49,705
Get out of my head!
Stop rummaging in my mind!
269
00:16:49,707 --> 00:16:54,345
Just you try and stop me.
Ooh, who's Clara?
270
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,985
Why are you thinking about her
so much? Enough!
271
00:16:57,987 --> 00:17:01,507
Fascinating. A complete
mental block. Highly effective.
272
00:17:02,867 --> 00:17:04,425
Relax, relax.
273
00:17:04,427 --> 00:17:08,425
If you just relax, you will find this
a perfectly pleasant experience.
274
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:09,665
You are being upgraded
275
00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:13,145
and incorporated into the Cyberiad
as a Cyber-Planner.
276
00:17:13,147 --> 00:17:16,185
Get out of my head!
277
00:17:16,187 --> 00:17:18,585
What is this place?
A network? A hive?
278
00:17:18,587 --> 00:17:21,225
You're getting signals
from every Cyberman everywhere.
279
00:17:21,227 --> 00:17:22,667
How many of you are there?
280
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:29,345
Oh... this is brilliant!
281
00:17:29,347 --> 00:17:33,945
I'm so clever already, and now
I'm a million times more clever.
282
00:17:33,947 --> 00:17:38,465
And what a brain! Not a human brain,
not even SLIGHTLY human.
283
00:17:38,467 --> 00:17:41,985
I mean, I'll have to completely
rewrite the neural interface,
284
00:17:41,987 --> 00:17:49,785
but this is going to be
the most efficient Cyber-Planner!
285
00:17:49,787 --> 00:17:51,545
Not a great name, that, is it?
286
00:17:51,547 --> 00:17:55,705
I could call myself Mr Clever.
287
00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:59,225
So much raw data... Time Lords.
288
00:17:59,227 --> 00:18:03,905
There's information on the Time Lords
in here!
289
00:18:03,907 --> 00:18:07,345
Oh, this is just dreamy!
290
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:12,387
Right, I'm allowing you access to
memories on Time Lord regeneration.
291
00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:19,065
Fantastic!
292
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:20,785
I could regenerate now.
293
00:18:20,787 --> 00:18:22,545
Big blast of regeneration energy,
294
00:18:22,547 --> 00:18:24,825
burn out any little Cyber widgets
in my brain,
295
00:18:24,827 --> 00:18:26,745
along with everything
you're connected to.
296
00:18:26,747 --> 00:18:30,105
Don't want to. You diss me up,
who knows what we'll get next?
297
00:18:30,107 --> 00:18:31,547
But I can.
298
00:18:33,787 --> 00:18:36,025
Stalemate, then.
299
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:39,465
One of us needs to control this head.
300
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:41,305
We're too well-balanced.
301
00:18:41,307 --> 00:18:42,745
What did you say?
302
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,865
No, no, no, I heard you.
303
00:18:44,867 --> 00:18:48,105
Rhetorical device to keep me
thinking about it a bit more.
304
00:18:48,107 --> 00:18:49,905
Stalemate.
305
00:18:49,907 --> 00:18:53,025
We each control 49.881%
of this brain.
306
00:18:53,027 --> 00:18:55,825
0.238 of the brain
is still in the balance.
307
00:18:55,827 --> 00:18:57,745
Whoever gets this
gets the whole thing.
308
00:18:57,747 --> 00:19:00,945
Do you play chess? The rules of
chess are in my memory banks.
309
00:19:00,947 --> 00:19:03,265
You're proposing we play chess
to end the stalemate?
310
00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,705
Winner takes all.
Nobody can access that portion
311
00:19:05,707 --> 00:19:07,627
of the brain without winning
the game.
312
00:19:11,347 --> 00:19:12,747
You can't win!
313
00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:15,705
Try me.
314
00:19:15,707 --> 00:19:21,305
You understand, when I DO win,
the Cyberiad gets your brains
315
00:19:21,307 --> 00:19:24,147
and memories. All of it.
316
00:19:25,707 --> 00:19:27,865
When I win, you get out of my head,
317
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,265
you let the children go,
318
00:19:30,267 --> 00:19:33,265
and nobody dies.
319
00:19:33,267 --> 00:19:37,227
You got that? Nobody dies!
320
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,785
'Castle's clear.
Missy, confirm status.'
321
00:19:45,787 --> 00:19:48,107
All clear in the power station.
322
00:19:53,187 --> 00:19:54,865
It's Missy.
323
00:19:54,867 --> 00:19:57,145
Something's out there.
324
00:19:57,147 --> 00:19:59,305
'What do you mean?
Is it the Cyberman?'
325
00:19:59,307 --> 00:20:02,225
I don't know. I couldn't see it.
It was only for a moment.
326
00:20:02,227 --> 00:20:05,147
Can I hide? Is it OK if I hide?
327
00:20:07,387 --> 00:20:09,787
DON'T MOVE! I'M IN THE ARMY!
328
00:20:34,907 --> 00:20:38,625
Erm, ma'am, Missy said she saw
something, and then she went quiet.
329
00:20:38,627 --> 00:20:41,427
It's on its way, then.
Weapons! Show me.
330
00:20:42,627 --> 00:20:43,865
Only one gun?
331
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:46,345
Cybermen have been extinct
for 1,000 years.
332
00:20:46,347 --> 00:20:49,105
Even one Anti-Cyber Gun
is a miracle.
333
00:20:49,107 --> 00:20:50,745
These things are hand-pulsars.
334
00:20:50,747 --> 00:20:52,625
Touch the back of a Cyberman's head,
335
00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:55,187
the electromagnetic pulse
deactivates it.
336
00:20:56,227 --> 00:20:59,985
What's this for? Just a mad guess
here - it blows up the planet?
337
00:20:59,987 --> 00:21:01,825
Implodes it.
There's also a trigger unit.
338
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:05,385
I'll have that, then. Is there any
other way to activate the bomb?
339
00:21:05,387 --> 00:21:08,465
It's set to respond to MY voice.
I have the verbal code.
340
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,947
You will not activate it
without a direct order from me.
341
00:21:15,827 --> 00:21:17,785
I will follow my orders.
342
00:21:17,787 --> 00:21:21,067
Your orders come from me.
Don't they?
343
00:21:23,947 --> 00:21:26,705
You'll need to sign
for that trigger unit, ma'am.
344
00:21:26,707 --> 00:21:28,105
Thanks.
345
00:21:28,107 --> 00:21:30,227
Mind if I take one of these?
Might be handy.
346
00:21:32,547 --> 00:21:36,267
Help yourself. I'll teach you
how to use it. Upstairs. Now.
347
00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:42,267
There. That was easy.
348
00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:47,105
The game... has just started.
349
00:21:47,107 --> 00:21:48,505
Doctor...
350
00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:52,025
why is there no record of you
anywhere in the databanks
351
00:21:52,027 --> 00:21:53,627
of the Cyberiad?
352
00:21:55,427 --> 00:21:58,145
Oh. You're good.
353
00:21:58,147 --> 00:22:01,465
You've been eliminating yourself
from history.
354
00:22:01,467 --> 00:22:05,507
You know, you could be reconstructed
by the hole you've left.
355
00:22:09,027 --> 00:22:11,905
Good point.
I'll do something about that.
356
00:22:11,907 --> 00:22:14,665
The rules of chess allow
only a finite number of moves.
357
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:17,105
And I can use other Cyber units
as remote processors.
358
00:22:17,107 --> 00:22:18,865
You cannot possibly win.
359
00:22:18,867 --> 00:22:20,865
I can. I know things you don't.
360
00:22:20,867 --> 00:22:23,265
For example, did you know...
361
00:22:23,267 --> 00:22:26,345
very early versions of the
Cyber operating system could be
362
00:22:26,347 --> 00:22:30,185
seriously scrambled by exposure to
things, like gold or cleaning fluid?
363
00:22:30,187 --> 00:22:35,465
And what's interesting is, you're
still running some of that code.
364
00:22:35,467 --> 00:22:37,265
Really?
365
00:22:37,267 --> 00:22:39,747
That's your secret weapon?
366
00:22:41,467 --> 00:22:42,907
Cleaning fluid?
367
00:22:44,787 --> 00:22:47,105
Nope. Gold.
368
00:22:47,107 --> 00:22:49,585
Ho-ho! Like a charm.
369
00:22:49,587 --> 00:22:51,145
Right, you, Cyber... Webley.
370
00:22:51,147 --> 00:22:53,625
And you, kid... things.
371
00:22:53,627 --> 00:22:57,067
I'll bring the chessboard.
Let's get out of here.
372
00:22:59,187 --> 00:23:01,187
You knew it was me.
373
00:23:03,307 --> 00:23:06,745
I was in the Imperial Guard
on Caspertine. Mostly just parades.
374
00:23:06,747 --> 00:23:09,305
But I had the honour
to guard the old Emperor
375
00:23:09,307 --> 00:23:10,625
during the ice picnic.
376
00:23:10,627 --> 00:23:13,905
When the snow bears came and danced
for us. That was a day.
377
00:23:13,907 --> 00:23:16,865
We're a punishment platoon.
We can't beat a Cyberman.
378
00:23:16,867 --> 00:23:19,265
The Imperium has to know
what's happening.
379
00:23:19,267 --> 00:23:21,265
Like you said,
the communicators are out.
380
00:23:21,267 --> 00:23:23,905
The only way you can report this now
is to activate the bomb.
381
00:23:23,907 --> 00:23:26,625
Yes. And I forbid you to do that.
382
00:23:26,627 --> 00:23:29,225
I don't get it. Why
would you blow up a whole planet,
383
00:23:29,227 --> 00:23:31,945
and everybody on it,
just to get rid of one Cyberman?
384
00:23:31,947 --> 00:23:34,825
We tried other ways.
But they only work sometimes.
385
00:23:34,827 --> 00:23:37,665
So now we take drastic action.
And it works.
386
00:23:37,667 --> 00:23:41,785
If you find a Cyberman and
you can't destroy it immediately,
387
00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:43,945
you implode the planet.
388
00:23:43,947 --> 00:23:46,465
I was sent here
because I didn't follow orders.
389
00:23:46,467 --> 00:23:48,547
I can make up for that.
390
00:23:51,427 --> 00:23:52,825
Put it down, I forbid you!
391
00:23:52,827 --> 00:23:54,825
Yeah. What she said.
392
00:23:54,827 --> 00:23:57,265
You ran away. I will do
what I was brought up to do.
393
00:23:57,267 --> 00:24:00,585
Live for the Empire, fight
for the Empire, die for the Empire.
394
00:24:00,587 --> 00:24:06,105
This is Captain Alice Ferrin,
Imperial ID 19-delta-13B.
395
00:24:06,107 --> 00:24:07,225
Activate...
396
00:24:07,227 --> 00:24:09,147
Cyberman! Get down!
397
00:24:19,547 --> 00:24:21,985
The Doctor said to get somewhere
easily defensible.
398
00:24:21,987 --> 00:24:24,545
But if we stay in the castle,
it'll pick us off one by one.
399
00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:27,747
We have to take it out.
Is that an order, ma'am?
400
00:24:31,547 --> 00:24:34,065
Yes. Good.
401
00:24:34,067 --> 00:24:35,745
You know what to do.
402
00:24:35,747 --> 00:24:37,585
Pulse to the back of the head.
403
00:24:37,587 --> 00:24:39,305
Fry the brain circuit interface.
404
00:24:39,307 --> 00:24:41,867
It's going to be hard
to get in close enough.
405
00:25:18,227 --> 00:25:21,545
I've heard about the Cybermen
since I was in my cradle.
406
00:25:21,547 --> 00:25:23,945
I'm not afraid of you!
407
00:25:23,947 --> 00:25:24,987
Now!
408
00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:34,147
Hold it right there!
What's happening to them?
409
00:25:39,107 --> 00:25:41,105
One more step, and I fire!
410
00:25:41,107 --> 00:25:42,905
Don't fire that.
411
00:25:42,907 --> 00:25:46,745
A pulse will deactivate them.
And anyway...
412
00:25:46,747 --> 00:25:48,945
it's a waste of charge.
We may need it again.
413
00:25:48,947 --> 00:25:50,987
You don't think
that was the only one, then?
414
00:25:58,267 --> 00:26:00,305
Don't shoot, don't shoot! I'm nice!
415
00:26:00,307 --> 00:26:03,465
Please, don't shoot! Hey, Clara, you
haven't let them blow up the planet.
416
00:26:03,467 --> 00:26:06,905
Good job. Did you get the kids?
Are they all right?
417
00:26:06,907 --> 00:26:09,585
What's going on? Bit of
a good news/bad news/good news again
418
00:26:09,587 --> 00:26:12,865
thing going on. So... Good news -
I've kidnapped their Cyber-Planner,
419
00:26:12,867 --> 00:26:15,345
and right now I'm sort of
in control of this Cyberman.
420
00:26:15,347 --> 00:26:18,345
Bad news? Bad news -
the Cyber-Planner's in my head.
421
00:26:18,347 --> 00:26:25,185
And DIFFERENT bad news - the kids
are... Well, it's complicated.
422
00:26:25,187 --> 00:26:26,825
Complicated how?
423
00:26:26,827 --> 00:26:29,947
Complicated, as in walking coma.
424
00:26:35,067 --> 00:26:37,225
Please tell me you can wake them up.
Hope so.
425
00:26:37,227 --> 00:26:39,465
Other good news?
Well, in other good news,
426
00:26:39,467 --> 00:26:42,985
there are a few more repaired and
reactivated Cybermen on the way.
427
00:26:42,987 --> 00:26:45,865
And the Cyber-Planner's installing
a patch for the gold thing.
428
00:26:45,867 --> 00:26:49,585
No, wait, that isn't not good news,
is it? Um, so...
429
00:26:49,587 --> 00:26:52,585
Good news - I have a very good
chance of winning my chess match.
430
00:26:52,587 --> 00:26:55,825
What? I'll explain later.
In a bit of a hurry.
431
00:26:55,827 --> 00:26:57,305
Get me to a table.
432
00:26:57,307 --> 00:26:59,345
And somebody tie me up!
433
00:26:59,347 --> 00:27:00,867
Need hands free for chess.
434
00:27:02,547 --> 00:27:04,145
And immobilise me.
435
00:27:04,147 --> 00:27:05,547
Quickly.
436
00:27:06,707 --> 00:27:09,665
Right, that's good. I won't be able
to move, but... hands free. Good.
437
00:27:09,667 --> 00:27:12,307
You're playing chess with yourself?
And winning.
438
00:27:13,627 --> 00:27:15,625
Actually,
439
00:27:15,627 --> 00:27:17,025
he has no better than a 25% chance
440
00:27:17,027 --> 00:27:19,025
of winning at this stage
in the game.
441
00:27:19,027 --> 00:27:22,625
Some very dodgy moves
at the beginning. Hello, flesh-girl.
442
00:27:22,627 --> 00:27:25,665
Fantastic! I'm the Cyber-Planner.
443
00:27:25,667 --> 00:27:28,945
Doctor...? Afraid not.
I'm working the mouth now. Allons-y!
444
00:27:28,947 --> 00:27:31,425
Oh, you should see
the state of these neurons -
445
00:27:31,427 --> 00:27:33,705
he's had some cowboys in here.
Ten complete re-jigs.
446
00:27:33,707 --> 00:27:37,785
You aren't the Doctor.
No, but I know who YOU are.
447
00:27:37,787 --> 00:27:39,667
You're the impossible girl.
448
00:27:40,707 --> 00:27:43,945
Ooh, he's very interested in you.
449
00:27:43,947 --> 00:27:45,385
Why am I impossible?
450
00:27:45,387 --> 00:27:47,505
Hasn't he told you? The sly devil.
451
00:27:47,507 --> 00:27:50,785
Oh, dear me. Soon, we wake, we'll
strip you down for spare parts,
452
00:27:50,787 --> 00:27:52,745
then build a spaceship and move on.
453
00:27:52,747 --> 00:27:55,705
More Cybermen? They're waking
from their tomb right now.
454
00:27:55,707 --> 00:27:58,105
You can either die
or live on as one of us.
455
00:27:58,107 --> 00:28:01,265
The Doctor will stop you.
He can't even access the lips.
456
00:28:01,267 --> 00:28:03,745
Owwww!
457
00:28:03,747 --> 00:28:06,345
Ow! Oh, that hurt! No, stop!
458
00:28:06,347 --> 00:28:10,265
Enough! Bit of pain, neural surge -
just what I needed. Thanks.
459
00:28:10,267 --> 00:28:11,905
Why am I the impossible girl?
460
00:28:11,907 --> 00:28:14,785
It's a thing in my head. I'll
explain later. Chess game - stakes?
461
00:28:14,787 --> 00:28:17,625
If he wins, I give up my mind and
he gets access to all my memories,
462
00:28:17,627 --> 00:28:19,225
along with knowledge of time travel.
463
00:28:19,227 --> 00:28:22,345
But if I win, he'll break
his promises to get out of my head
464
00:28:22,347 --> 00:28:24,585
and then kill us anyway.
That's not reassuring. No.
465
00:28:24,587 --> 00:28:27,105
Please tell me you can fix what
happened to the children.
466
00:28:27,107 --> 00:28:28,585
Children. Yeah. They're fine.
467
00:28:28,587 --> 00:28:30,905
Right now their brains
are just in stand-by mode.
468
00:28:30,907 --> 00:28:33,705
That is not fine! Listen, right now,
469
00:28:33,707 --> 00:28:38,025
they have a better chance of getting
out of all this alive than you do.
470
00:28:38,027 --> 00:28:39,867
Which one of you said that?
471
00:28:41,387 --> 00:28:46,505
Me. Cyber-Planner. Mr Clever.
Now, if you don't mind,
472
00:28:46,507 --> 00:28:49,425
I have a chess game to finish.
473
00:28:49,427 --> 00:28:55,387
And YOU have to die -
pointlessly and very far from home.
474
00:28:57,907 --> 00:28:59,067
Toodle-oo.
475
00:29:03,547 --> 00:29:05,745
Apparently there are more Cybermen
on the way.
476
00:29:05,747 --> 00:29:08,105
There's at least a dozen more shots
left in the gun
477
00:29:08,107 --> 00:29:09,505
before it needs to recharge.
478
00:29:09,507 --> 00:29:11,985
We might have more than a dozen
Cybermen to worry about.
479
00:29:11,987 --> 00:29:13,945
What's that cable?
Power line for the park.
480
00:29:13,947 --> 00:29:16,745
What'd happen if we dropped the
end into the moat and turned it on?
481
00:29:16,747 --> 00:29:18,585
Fry anything that entered the water.
482
00:29:18,587 --> 00:29:20,865
Can Cybermen fly? No, ma'am.
483
00:29:20,867 --> 00:29:23,107
First good news of the day. Do it.
484
00:29:39,707 --> 00:29:42,945
Stop that! I felt that.
485
00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:45,667
Of course you did.
It's time to get up.
486
00:29:47,107 --> 00:29:50,705
Wakey wakey, boys and girls.
487
00:29:50,707 --> 00:29:54,147
Wakey wakey.
488
00:30:21,467 --> 00:30:25,305
There. Get that in you. Warm you up.
Oh, thank you, Porridge.
489
00:30:25,307 --> 00:30:27,665
Oi, Clara!
490
00:30:27,667 --> 00:30:31,307
I'll see what he wants.
Call me if there's any change. Right.
491
00:30:38,747 --> 00:30:42,305
Hey! Clara, there you are.
Now, quick rundown.
492
00:30:42,307 --> 00:30:43,985
What's our weapons strength?
493
00:30:43,987 --> 00:30:46,265
One big gun,
five of those hand pulsar units
494
00:30:46,267 --> 00:30:49,425
and a shiny black bomb that implodes
the planet. Yeah. That one.
495
00:30:49,427 --> 00:30:52,505
Tell me, does it happen, possibly,
to have a remote triggery thing?
496
00:30:52,507 --> 00:30:54,145
Brilliant. Pass it here. No.
497
00:30:54,147 --> 00:30:56,105
Why not?
In case you're not you right now.
498
00:30:56,107 --> 00:30:58,785
Or even if you are you, just in case.
Oh, don't worry.
499
00:30:58,787 --> 00:31:03,745
The Cyber-Planner's hibernating
between moves right now. Sssh.
500
00:31:03,747 --> 00:31:07,747
Prove you're you. Tell me something
only the Doctor knows.
501
00:31:11,067 --> 00:31:12,587
Clara...
502
00:31:14,067 --> 00:31:16,265
I suppose...
503
00:31:16,267 --> 00:31:20,347
I'm the only one who knows
how I feel about you right now.
504
00:31:21,787 --> 00:31:24,507
How funny you are - so funny...
505
00:31:25,987 --> 00:31:28,145
and pretty.
506
00:31:28,147 --> 00:31:31,745
And the truth is,
I'm starting to like you
507
00:31:31,747 --> 00:31:33,665
in a way that is more than just...
508
00:31:33,667 --> 00:31:38,265
Ow! Ow! Ow! Yes! It's me!
509
00:31:38,267 --> 00:31:40,945
That really hurt!
How did you know that was him?!
510
00:31:40,947 --> 00:31:43,505
Because even if that WAS true -
which it's obviously not -
511
00:31:43,507 --> 00:31:45,705
I know you that
you would rather die than say it.
512
00:31:45,707 --> 00:31:47,227
Finish your stupid game!
513
00:31:49,067 --> 00:31:52,385
Doctor, let go. I can't.
He's got control of the left arm.
514
00:31:52,387 --> 00:31:56,345
Aaargh! Aaaargh! No! No!
515
00:31:56,347 --> 00:32:00,027
Aaargh! Aaargh! Aaargh!
516
00:32:02,467 --> 00:32:03,985
Doctor?
517
00:32:03,987 --> 00:32:06,705
He got what he wanted.
He destroyed the trigger.
518
00:32:06,707 --> 00:32:09,305
My move. What do you mean,
he got what he wanted?
519
00:32:09,307 --> 00:32:11,305
He means...
520
00:32:11,307 --> 00:32:14,985
good news, boys and girls!
521
00:32:14,987 --> 00:32:18,987
THEY'RE HEERE!
522
00:32:37,627 --> 00:32:38,865
One gun, five hand pulsars
523
00:32:38,867 --> 00:32:41,425
and a planet-smashing bomb
that doesn't work any more.
524
00:32:41,427 --> 00:32:43,505
Why not? Broken trigger unit.
525
00:32:43,507 --> 00:32:45,345
But you signed for that.
526
00:32:45,347 --> 00:32:49,185
I've learned so much from you,
Doctor.
527
00:32:49,187 --> 00:32:51,065
It's been an education.
528
00:32:51,067 --> 00:32:55,147
But now it's time for the endgame.
529
00:33:09,627 --> 00:33:10,787
Brilliant.
530
00:33:12,547 --> 00:33:15,067
Upgrade in progress.
531
00:33:16,347 --> 00:33:17,667
Damn.
532
00:33:19,227 --> 00:33:22,065
Who's our best shot?
Probably it's me.
533
00:33:22,067 --> 00:33:24,105
Shoot any of them
who make it across.
534
00:33:24,107 --> 00:33:26,825
The rest of you,
take defensive positions. Porridge?
535
00:33:26,827 --> 00:33:28,427
Yes? Keep yourself safe.
536
00:33:44,147 --> 00:33:45,745
Alice Ferrin...
537
00:33:45,747 --> 00:33:49,065
you should have destroyed this
planet when you had the chance.
538
00:33:49,067 --> 00:33:51,425
They're nearly here.
539
00:33:51,427 --> 00:33:56,465
Now, you can take my bishop and keep
limping on for a little longer.
540
00:33:56,467 --> 00:34:00,505
Or you can sacrifice your queen,
541
00:34:00,507 --> 00:34:03,025
and get the children back,
542
00:34:03,027 --> 00:34:05,065
but it's mate in five moves.
543
00:34:05,067 --> 00:34:07,387
And I get your mind.
544
00:34:16,827 --> 00:34:21,547
Take my queen.
And give me back the children.
545
00:34:23,107 --> 00:34:26,825
Emotions! Can't you see
what a foolish move that was?
546
00:34:26,827 --> 00:34:28,945
You've lost the game!
547
00:34:28,947 --> 00:34:32,027
Kids! Back! Now!
548
00:34:41,667 --> 00:34:45,585
Emotions, Doctor -
549
00:34:45,587 --> 00:34:50,465
all for two human children
you barely know.
550
00:34:50,467 --> 00:34:53,147
And it was a pointless sacrifice
anyway.
551
00:34:56,307 --> 00:34:58,305
So, Doctor...
552
00:34:58,307 --> 00:35:02,745
do you think the children's death
will affect your relationship
553
00:35:02,747 --> 00:35:04,467
with Miss Clara?
554
00:35:08,827 --> 00:35:11,945
Welcome to
Webley's World Of Wonders, children.
555
00:35:11,947 --> 00:35:16,385
Now presenting delights,
delicacies...
556
00:35:16,387 --> 00:35:18,787
and death. Doctor!
557
00:35:23,947 --> 00:35:27,627
Angie, are you, OK?
Just look after Artie, OK?
558
00:35:38,627 --> 00:35:40,905
Upgrade in progress.
559
00:35:40,907 --> 00:35:43,505
Your move. But before you take it,
just so you know,
560
00:35:43,507 --> 00:35:46,745
sacrificing my queen was the best
possible move I could have made.
561
00:35:46,747 --> 00:35:48,385
The Time Lords invented chess.
562
00:35:48,387 --> 00:35:49,905
It's our game.
563
00:35:49,907 --> 00:35:53,385
And if you don't avoid MY trap,
it gives ME mate in three moves.
564
00:35:53,387 --> 00:35:54,667
How?
565
00:35:56,387 --> 00:35:58,187
I've got no charge left!
566
00:36:02,867 --> 00:36:04,067
How?
567
00:36:08,107 --> 00:36:10,425
Oh, come on.
Call yourself a chess-playing robot?
568
00:36:10,427 --> 00:36:11,587
How?!
569
00:36:16,267 --> 00:36:18,347
You figure it out!
570
00:36:22,147 --> 00:36:26,025
Or don't you have
the processing power? Hmm?
571
00:36:26,027 --> 00:36:29,585
Please stand by -
you will be upgraded.
572
00:36:29,587 --> 00:36:32,465
Welcome to the Cyberiad.
573
00:36:32,467 --> 00:36:33,545
You will be upgraded.
574
00:36:33,547 --> 00:36:36,105
Welcome to the Cyberiad.
575
00:36:36,107 --> 00:36:37,625
You will be upgraded...
576
00:36:37,627 --> 00:36:40,987
You will be upgraded...
577
00:36:47,907 --> 00:36:49,105
What are you doing?
578
00:36:49,107 --> 00:36:52,425
Doctor. Doctor, Doctor, Doctor,
579
00:36:52,427 --> 00:36:54,945
Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor,
Doctor!
580
00:36:54,947 --> 00:36:57,065
I'm pulling in
extra processing power.
581
00:36:57,067 --> 00:37:00,105
Three million Cyberbrains are
working on one tiny chess problem.
582
00:37:00,107 --> 00:37:02,625
How long do you think
it's going to take us to solve it?
583
00:37:02,627 --> 00:37:07,105
That's cheating! No, no, no, no, no.
Just pulling in the local resources.
584
00:37:07,107 --> 00:37:08,747
Woo-oo-oo.
585
00:37:14,747 --> 00:37:18,745
There's no way you can get to mate
in three moves.
586
00:37:18,747 --> 00:37:21,265
Three moves!
Want to know what they are?
587
00:37:21,267 --> 00:37:22,625
You're lying!
588
00:37:22,627 --> 00:37:24,265
No!
589
00:37:24,267 --> 00:37:26,345
Move one -
590
00:37:26,347 --> 00:37:28,505
turn on sonic screwdriver.
591
00:37:28,507 --> 00:37:30,185
Move two - activate pulsar.
592
00:37:30,187 --> 00:37:32,227
Move three - amplify pulsar.
593
00:37:35,387 --> 00:37:37,787
See ya.
594
00:37:39,867 --> 00:37:41,547
That's cheating!
595
00:37:46,147 --> 00:37:48,625
Just taking advantage
of the local resources.
596
00:37:48,627 --> 00:37:52,065
Ah, hello. Can someone untie me,
please? Do you think I'm pretty?
597
00:37:52,067 --> 00:37:54,625
No! You're too short and bossy,
and your nose is all funny.
598
00:37:54,627 --> 00:37:56,905
Good enough.
What happened to the Cyber-Planner?
599
00:37:56,907 --> 00:37:59,665
Out of my head and redistributed
across three million Cybermen.
600
00:37:59,667 --> 00:38:02,465
About to wake them up, kill us
and start constructing a spaceship.
601
00:38:02,467 --> 00:38:05,345
We need to destroy this planet
before they can get off it.
602
00:38:05,347 --> 00:38:07,305
OK.
603
00:38:07,307 --> 00:38:09,225
It has a fallback voice activation.
604
00:38:09,227 --> 00:38:11,225
The Captain. But she's dead.
605
00:38:11,227 --> 00:38:13,305
I think you should ask Porridge.
Why?
606
00:38:13,307 --> 00:38:17,345
Well, he is the Emperor. I bet
HE knows the activation codes.
607
00:38:17,347 --> 00:38:19,305
Oh, come on, it's obvious.
608
00:38:19,307 --> 00:38:21,185
He looks exactly like he does
on the coin
609
00:38:21,187 --> 00:38:24,065
and on the waxwork, except
they made him a bit taller, but...
610
00:38:24,067 --> 00:38:26,865
Look, am I the only one paying
attention to ANYTHING around here?
611
00:38:26,867 --> 00:38:29,465
You are full of surprises. Porridge?
612
00:38:29,467 --> 00:38:32,145
She's right. So you can save us?
613
00:38:32,147 --> 00:38:34,305
We all die in the end.
Does it matter how?
614
00:38:34,307 --> 00:38:37,345
What do we do?
I don't want to be Emperor.
615
00:38:37,347 --> 00:38:40,305
If I activate that bomb,
it's all over.
616
00:38:40,307 --> 00:38:41,345
And if you don't,
617
00:38:41,347 --> 00:38:44,145
three million Cybermen will spread
across the galaxy.
618
00:38:44,147 --> 00:38:45,625
Isn't that worth dying for?
619
00:38:45,627 --> 00:38:47,467
Doctor... Three million Cybermen!
620
00:38:51,107 --> 00:38:54,105
The bomb, the throne,
it's all connected.
621
00:38:54,107 --> 00:38:55,265
I just have to say,
622
00:38:55,267 --> 00:38:59,185
"This is Emperor Ludens Nimrod
Kendrick, called Longstaff the 41st,
623
00:38:59,187 --> 00:39:03,427
"the defender of humanity,
imperator of known space.
624
00:39:05,787 --> 00:39:09,067
"Activate the Desolator."
And it's done.
625
00:39:16,827 --> 00:39:18,385
It'll blow in about 80 seconds.
626
00:39:18,387 --> 00:39:20,825
Easily long enough for the
Imperial Flagship to locate me
627
00:39:20,827 --> 00:39:24,025
from my identification,
warp-jump into orbit,
628
00:39:24,027 --> 00:39:25,947
and transmat us to the State Room.
629
00:39:31,987 --> 00:39:34,865
Oh, yeah! Nice ship.
630
00:39:34,867 --> 00:39:36,505
Bit big. Not blue enough.
631
00:39:36,507 --> 00:39:41,145
Listen, there is a large blue box
at co-ordinates six ultra 19P.
632
00:39:41,147 --> 00:39:44,345
I need it transmatted up here
right away.
633
00:39:44,347 --> 00:39:46,307
Right. Did you get that?
634
00:39:56,107 --> 00:40:01,947
And that's that. 76, 77, 78, 79...
635
00:40:10,467 --> 00:40:13,145
Fairwell, Cyberiad.
636
00:40:13,147 --> 00:40:16,465
You know... it was GOOD to get away.
637
00:40:16,467 --> 00:40:19,025
Good to be a person
and not to be lonely
638
00:40:19,027 --> 00:40:21,105
or Emperor of 1,000 galaxies,
639
00:40:21,107 --> 00:40:23,425
with everybody waiting for ME
to tell them what to do.
640
00:40:23,427 --> 00:40:24,985
Can't you run away again?
641
00:40:24,987 --> 00:40:27,025
They'll be keeping a close eye on me
this time.
642
00:40:27,027 --> 00:40:28,985
That's what happens
when you're Emperor -
643
00:40:28,987 --> 00:40:30,905
loneliest job in the Universe.
644
00:40:30,907 --> 00:40:32,587
You don't have to be lonely.
645
00:40:34,627 --> 00:40:37,145
I don't.
646
00:40:37,147 --> 00:40:38,665
Clara...
647
00:40:38,667 --> 00:40:40,147
will you marry me?
648
00:40:41,147 --> 00:40:42,665
What? He said...
649
00:40:42,667 --> 00:40:44,025
She heard what he said.
650
00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:46,625
You're smart and you're beautiful,
651
00:40:46,627 --> 00:40:49,385
and I've never met anyone like you
before.
652
00:40:49,387 --> 00:40:52,185
And being Emperor won't be as hard
if you're by my side.
653
00:40:52,187 --> 00:40:54,025
And you'd rule 1,000 galaxies.
654
00:40:54,027 --> 00:40:57,185
This sounds like an actual
marriage proposal - tricky.
655
00:40:57,187 --> 00:40:58,425
Now, if you want my advice...
656
00:40:58,427 --> 00:41:01,867
You - not one word. This is
between me and the... Emperor.
657
00:41:04,147 --> 00:41:05,865
Porridge,
658
00:41:05,867 --> 00:41:09,707
I...don't want to rule
1,000 galaxies.
659
00:41:13,467 --> 00:41:14,507
Yeah.
660
00:41:15,667 --> 00:41:17,425
Silly of me.
661
00:41:17,427 --> 00:41:19,105
I'm really sorry.
662
00:41:19,107 --> 00:41:23,145
But that's stupid.
You could be queen of the universe.
663
00:41:23,147 --> 00:41:25,425
How can you say no to that?
664
00:41:25,427 --> 00:41:28,025
When someone asks you if you want
to be queen of the universe,
665
00:41:28,027 --> 00:41:29,225
you say, "Yes."
666
00:41:29,227 --> 00:41:32,147
You watch. One day,
I'LL be queen of the universe.
667
00:41:34,187 --> 00:41:36,465
Of course,
I could have you all executed -
668
00:41:36,467 --> 00:41:38,747
which is what a proper Emperor
would do.
669
00:41:39,907 --> 00:41:42,425
You're not actually going to do
that, though, are you...?
670
00:41:42,427 --> 00:41:44,865
Oh, you're...! Hey?
671
00:41:44,867 --> 00:41:46,905
Go on, get out of here, all of you,
672
00:41:46,907 --> 00:41:48,387
before I change my mind.
673
00:42:02,867 --> 00:42:05,305
Thank you for having me.
It was very interesting.
674
00:42:05,307 --> 00:42:07,105
My pleasure. Thank you for coming.
675
00:42:07,107 --> 00:42:08,905
Now, I've got something for you.
676
00:42:08,907 --> 00:42:11,107
It's not from me,
it's from the TARDIS.
677
00:42:12,947 --> 00:42:15,345
Ah! New phone.
678
00:42:15,347 --> 00:42:18,507
Thanks!
Sorry I said this box was stupid.
679
00:42:20,107 --> 00:42:24,707
Bye! Bye! Thanks, Clara.
Thanks, Clara's boyfriend.
680
00:42:26,947 --> 00:42:28,585
Thank you, Doctor. For what?
681
00:42:28,587 --> 00:42:30,705
Kids' day out,
getting us off the planet alive,
682
00:42:30,707 --> 00:42:32,827
whatever you were doing
with the Cybermen...
683
00:42:35,667 --> 00:42:36,987
Good night.
684
00:42:38,587 --> 00:42:40,065
See you next Wednesday.
685
00:42:40,067 --> 00:42:44,505
Well... a Wednesday, definitely.
Next Wednesday, last Wednesday...
686
00:42:44,507 --> 00:42:45,947
one of the Wednesdays.
687
00:42:48,987 --> 00:42:51,105
Impossible girl.
688
00:42:51,107 --> 00:42:53,905
A mystery wrapped in an enigma
squeezed into a skirt
689
00:42:53,907 --> 00:42:56,747
that's just
a little bit too... tight.
690
00:43:03,267 --> 00:43:04,787
What are you?
691
00:43:06,747 --> 00:43:09,065
Signs of any Cybertech remaining?
692
00:43:09,067 --> 00:43:10,945
No, Majesty.
693
00:43:10,947 --> 00:43:13,225
You ever wanted to be Emperor,
Gloria?
694
00:43:13,227 --> 00:43:14,545
No, Majesty.
695
00:43:14,547 --> 00:43:17,707
That's the right answer. Come on.
Let's go home.
696
00:43:35,547 --> 00:43:38,665
There is one place
you must never go.
697
00:43:38,667 --> 00:43:40,185
Where?
698
00:43:40,187 --> 00:43:42,945
This is
the Doctor's greatest secret.
699
00:43:42,947 --> 00:43:44,585
And it is discovered.
700
00:43:44,587 --> 00:43:46,825
He can't go there, you know
he can't. I have a duty.
701
00:43:46,827 --> 00:43:49,065
You just said it's the one place
you must never go.
702
00:43:49,067 --> 00:43:52,227
I'm about to cross my own timeline
and the TARDIS doesn't like it.
703
00:43:55,827 --> 00:43:57,425
Die, reptile!
704
00:43:57,427 --> 00:43:59,305
Doctor! Doctor!
705
00:43:59,307 --> 00:44:00,985
What is your name?
706
00:44:00,987 --> 00:44:02,985
Please, stop it!
707
00:44:02,987 --> 00:44:04,507
Doctor Who?!
708
00:44:04,532 --> 00:44:06,519
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