1 00:00:12,912 --> 00:00:15,938 Was it burned to the ground? Are you sure it's him? 2 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:19,919 You're positive. Has he admitted to it? 3 00:00:19,986 --> 00:00:21,817 It can't be that bad. 4 00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:24,853 Look, no one was killed, no one was hurt. 5 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:26,183 No! 6 00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:30,024 You know what? I got to call you back in a few minutes, okay? 7 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:34,192 I can't believe he did this. I'm very sorry, that's all I can tell you. 'Bye. 8 00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:36,768 What's going on? 9 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:40,203 - You know, l... - You got a tissue or something in here? 10 00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:42,065 No. 11 00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,801 What's all that about? 12 00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:46,806 - You okay? - What's going on? 13 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,316 I sponsored a kid from the inner city to go to summer camp. 14 00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:53,147 - You sponsored an inner-city kid? - An underprivileged kid. 15 00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:54,618 - You're kidding. - No. 16 00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:58,714 I'm completely nonplussed. Is that the right word? 17 00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:02,622 I don't know what the right word is. I'm flabbergasted, I'll tell you why. 18 00:01:02,695 --> 00:01:06,995 He set fire to the canteen and his cabin. 19 00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,964 - Who does that? - Oh, my God! 20 00:01:09,035 --> 00:01:11,026 - That's insane. - Holy cow! 21 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:12,564 That's too bad. 22 00:01:12,639 --> 00:01:15,472 - You do something nice, see what happens? - You get screwed. 23 00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:19,239 You do one nice thing. I assume it's the first nice thing you've ever done. 24 00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:21,303 You're so complimentary. Very nice of you. 25 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:25,215 It would put you one up on me in that case, though I did try and stop a woman... 26 00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:28,152 who was about to get hit by a car, I screamed, "Watch out!" 27 00:01:28,221 --> 00:01:30,416 And she said, "Don't you tell me what to do!" 28 00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:32,481 I tried to save her and she screamed at me. 29 00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:34,823 That's all it took for you to stop helping people. 30 00:01:34,894 --> 00:01:38,591 - I got out of the nice business then. - I'm out of the nice now, after a fire. 31 00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:41,031 Maybe you don't have all the facts and details. 32 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:45,299 - I've got to talk to the kid. - Talk to the kid, see what he has to say. 33 00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:48,602 - I've got to find out. - In retrospect, it would have been better... 34 00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:51,269 had he been a kleptomaniac or another kind of maniac... 35 00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:54,279 - rather than pyro, because that's... - Pyro's a bad maniac. 36 00:01:54,347 --> 00:01:56,872 If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro is a bad maniac. 37 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,578 - Not a good maniac. - That's not a good maniac. 38 00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:04,155 Cheryl called. She wanted me to remind you to come home early tonight, okay? 39 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:07,250 - Okay, thank you. - Why do you have to be home early? 40 00:02:07,660 --> 00:02:09,855 We've got this wire in our backyard. 41 00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:13,699 My wife's obsessed with taking it down because it's ruining the view. 42 00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:15,529 She wants to bury it underground. 43 00:02:15,602 --> 00:02:18,662 To do that, we have to get signatures from adjacent neighbors. 44 00:02:18,738 --> 00:02:22,731 Five have signed on. One couple won't sign it, they wanna meet us first. 45 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,868 - You ever heard of anything so nutty? - Never. 46 00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:27,003 - Why are they doing that? - It's really wrong. 47 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,378 It's very wrong. It's so wrong. 48 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:36,014 - How's this? - That's better. Much better. 49 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:37,920 - It doesn't look better. - It does. 50 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,357 You think they'll like me better in this shirt? 51 00:02:40,426 --> 00:02:44,294 - They will. Please, just do this for me. - I'm doing it. 52 00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:47,265 I've got to get rid of that wire. It's making me crazy. 53 00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:49,995 What do you think? Does everything look all right? 54 00:02:50,069 --> 00:02:53,903 - It looks fine, the house looks great. - The pillows and the... 55 00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:57,033 Who gives a shit? Looks okay, what's the difference? 56 00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:00,137 - Okay, here we go. - Let's get this over with. 57 00:03:00,813 --> 00:03:03,111 All right, best behavior, please. 58 00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:11,054 - Please come in. - Dean. 59 00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,490 - Hi, Dean, I'm Larry. - Hi, Phyllis. 60 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,427 How you guys doing? 61 00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:19,131 I'm finally in the house that Jerry Seinfeld built. 62 00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:24,061 With his own hands, and some hammers. He actually worked on it, like Jimmy Carter. 63 00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:25,695 He can do that kind of thing. 64 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:28,240 Okay, this is the living room. 65 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:34,604 - Is that Swiss coffee or vanilla bean? - I think it's Chocolate Cho-Cho. 66 00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:39,951 He's teasing, you know. Let's head outside. Let me show you the problem. 67 00:03:40,787 --> 00:03:44,348 There it is. That's what we've been looking at day and night. 68 00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:46,482 Jesus Christ. 69 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,626 It was like that when we moved in... 70 00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:52,392 and it has been bugging me so much, I can't even tell you. 71 00:03:52,465 --> 00:03:56,492 I'm gonna get a divorce, I'm telling you. I can't take her anymore! 72 00:03:56,569 --> 00:04:01,063 That's horrible. Tell me exactly what has to be done, because that has got to be fixed. 73 00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:04,735 - That's horrible. - All you have to do is sign some papers. 74 00:04:04,811 --> 00:04:07,109 - Right. - We've taken care of everything else. 75 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,774 They put it underground. It's environmentally safe. 76 00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:12,283 - This has to be buried. - Thank you. 77 00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,979 Let the machine get it, it's okay. 78 00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:18,915 Hi, we're not in right now, so just leave a message. 79 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,254 Larry, it's Jeff. 80 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:23,557 That kid that I sponsored, the one who set that fire... 81 00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:24,722 The camp called. 82 00:04:24,797 --> 00:04:29,166 They want me to pay $17,000 in damages. Me! 83 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,571 If you know any lawyer who handles such things, call me. 84 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,869 Call me anyhow. I'm nuts! 'Bye. 85 00:04:35,508 --> 00:04:38,409 - Okay, I didn't know who that was... - That's my manager. 86 00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:41,003 - I'm a lawyer. - You are? 87 00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:42,370 Really? 88 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,713 - Did Jeff say he needed a lawyer? - I overheard that, that you were... 89 00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:48,879 - Oh, my gosh. - Rutgers and University of Vermont, too. 90 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,253 - Holy! - Look at this. 91 00:04:51,924 --> 00:04:54,449 Kismet. Isn't that what it's called? 92 00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:58,395 - I'll be happy to give him your number. - I'm happy to help out. 93 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:02,127 See, you got a new client. Did you think you'd come and get a new client? 94 00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:06,570 And who knows, you know what? Maybe I'll be able to need a lawyer someday. 95 00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:09,039 - Anything could happen. - A lot of people sue me. 96 00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:11,736 I'm very vulgar and... You might wind up suing me. 97 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,075 I would never sue you, no. 98 00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,142 Can I ask you a question? 99 00:05:16,883 --> 00:05:19,351 Do the cast members ever come over to the house? 100 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:22,582 Do they come here and just hang out with you by the pool and... 101 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,886 Not by the pool, but they have come over, yes. 102 00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:29,758 - They're friends. - Tell them the truth about your biggest... 103 00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,423 I'll just say it: She played Elaine on the show. 104 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:34,523 - Julia. - He's obsessed with her. 105 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,535 - He thinks she's the most talented actress. - She's great. 106 00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:41,869 Okay, she's not just beautiful, and she's not just talented. She's sublime. 107 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,976 Tell me if I'm going over the line here... 108 00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,539 but it's always been a dream of mine... 109 00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:52,073 to meet Julia Louis-Dreyfus, just meet her in person. 110 00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:57,088 And if you could just make a phone call, make that happen, that would be so great. 111 00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:00,122 I'm more than happy to call her up. 112 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,854 I can't guarantee. 113 00:06:02,428 --> 00:06:05,454 It's so hard to get anything absolutely guaranteed. 114 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:09,399 Like you want to get something buried, you don't know if it's guaranteed. 115 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:13,405 You don't even know if that... There's a lot of papers to be signed. 116 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,298 I agree with you there. 117 00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,271 I know I can make something happen. 118 00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:23,246 I don't say, "I think I can." I can make something happen. 119 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,443 I just wanted to be clear... 120 00:06:25,518 --> 00:06:28,681 - I think you're pretty clear. - We have an understanding. 121 00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:30,986 This has to be buried. 122 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,150 - I'm going to give you my number. - Great. 123 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,421 Yeah, we'll do that on the way out. 124 00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:38,726 - It's so nice to meet you guys. - Would you like to have dinner, too? 125 00:06:38,798 --> 00:06:41,266 I've got a nice casserole in the oven right now. 126 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:45,862 - I would kill to have your casserole. - Listen, I can wrap it up... 127 00:06:45,938 --> 00:06:49,897 I can't do it because there's something wrong with my stomach. 128 00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:54,210 - Okay? I can't. - Thank you so much for coming over. 129 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,680 Let me just show you out. 130 00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,115 Fuck him! 131 00:07:04,690 --> 00:07:07,557 Julia Louis-Dreyfus is not showing up at his house... 132 00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:10,323 and you'll have to kill me before I call her to do that. 133 00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:12,591 And I will move, do you understand me? 134 00:07:12,665 --> 00:07:16,101 I will move before I make that phone call. Move! 135 00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:19,432 If you want to get that wire down, look for a house. 136 00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:21,769 Let's relax for a moment, okay? 137 00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:23,875 Take a deep breath. 138 00:07:24,644 --> 00:07:27,943 What's the guy, 40 years old? He's got to meet Julia Louis-Dreyfus! 139 00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:31,381 - What kind of person is that? - He's a fan. 140 00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,715 What does he expect to gain from such a meeting? 141 00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:37,153 What does he think? He'll go over there, she'll be so charmed by him... 142 00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:39,123 that all of a sudden they'll be friends? 143 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:42,423 They'll talk on the phone, go out to dinner, go to the movies? 144 00:07:42,495 --> 00:07:45,328 Start e-mailing each other? Summer vacations? 145 00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,332 Is he out of his fucking mind? 146 00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:51,995 One phone call, one small favor... 147 00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:54,096 to make this house completely perfect. 148 00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,698 I can't live with that wire any longer. 149 00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:00,668 I've done so much work trying to get this removed... 150 00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:03,180 Why do there have to be 300 pillows on the bed? 151 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:06,878 Listen, please, I'm asking you. 152 00:08:08,955 --> 00:08:12,550 I don't think she'll mind. And she'll probably think it's funny. 153 00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:16,585 Yeah, she's gonna think it's really funny. 154 00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:22,928 I really thought we had the deal cinched with the lawyer, with Jeff. 155 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,937 - I know. - I should call Jeff and tell him about this. 156 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,836 Wait, what time is it? 157 00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:31,538 - It's 10:20. - 10:00 is the cut-off time. 158 00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:34,876 - You don't call people after 10:00. - No, the cut-off time is 10:30. 159 00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:36,312 They have kids. 160 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:40,481 - You don't call after 10:00. - No, 10:30. 161 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,679 - The cut-off time... - Is that right? 162 00:08:42,755 --> 00:08:45,246 Yeah, cut-off time's 10:30. Everybody knows that. 163 00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:47,383 It's a 10:30 cut-off. 164 00:08:53,599 --> 00:08:56,625 Susie, it's Larry. Did I wake you? 165 00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,537 I'm really sorry. 166 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:05,071 No, it's nothing. I'll just talk to him tomorrow. 167 00:09:05,144 --> 00:09:08,136 No, I'm really sorry. 168 00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:12,146 Okay. All right. 169 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,247 How'd that work out for you? 170 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,558 Susie was pretty pissed off. She's really upset. 171 00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:25,756 - 10:00 is the cut-off, man. - I thought the cut-off was 10:30. 172 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:30,461 No, 10:20, you called, 10:00 the cut-off. If you called at 10:01, she'd be just as mad. 173 00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:33,266 - Is that right? - Listen, I've got a big problem. 174 00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:36,702 Dean, your lawyer friend, I don't think he's competent. 175 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:40,438 - You hooked me up with a freak. - He's probably a good lawyer. 176 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,607 - He's a weird guy. - He's weird, but he's very shrewd. 177 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:47,084 Shrewd? He's a wire lawyer, I know. 178 00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,983 I know what you're doing. 179 00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:53,014 You've got me some expensive idiot lawyer, so you can have your wire dropped down. 180 00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:55,424 - I know your games. - I'm sorry. 181 00:09:55,494 --> 00:10:00,158 You screwed me with this guy, I know it. I wanna let you know that I know it. 182 00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:05,328 Wait, first of all, I didn't even have to tell you the story behind that. 183 00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:07,929 - See how he does, a few more days. - I wanna fire him. 184 00:10:08,007 --> 00:10:10,976 - You cannot get rid of him. - I have to, he's a freak. 185 00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:14,412 I know he is, but please, if you get rid of him... 186 00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:17,547 we're never gonna get rid of that wire in the backyard. 187 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:21,553 The guy's a total prick, he'll do a good job, believe me. Pricks are good. 188 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,681 You want a prick, and this guy's a prick. Look at you. 189 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:28,484 You're a prick, you're doing a good job. Are you a prick or not? 190 00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:31,029 - I am a prick. - In business, are you a prick? 191 00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:34,589 - This guy's a bigger prick than you. - You're not taking this seriously. 192 00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,693 The camp's gonna charge me. They're trying to get me to pay. 193 00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:38,862 I know. 194 00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:45,967 Listen to me, that kid, he called me, begging me to come stay with me. 195 00:10:46,045 --> 00:10:49,014 He got kicked out of the camp, he wants to stay at my house. 196 00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:51,914 - You're kidding. - He said, "If I go home early from camp... 197 00:10:51,984 --> 00:10:54,282 "my mom will kill me, thinking I did bad things." 198 00:10:54,353 --> 00:10:56,548 - You let this kid stay in your house? - Yeah. 199 00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:59,523 So, you're going to put up a sociopath for a couple of days? 200 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:02,925 - He's not a sociopath, he's a good kid. - He burned down the canteen. 201 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:07,261 He burned down the canteen, and the cabin, but they were both accidents. 202 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,857 - Got insurance? - Yeah. 203 00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:12,392 Get the kid to burn my house, so I don't have to worry about the wire. 204 00:11:12,471 --> 00:11:15,338 - That I would love to do. - I would love to do that. 205 00:11:22,081 --> 00:11:25,312 - Thanks again. - It's fine, but I have to tell you something. 206 00:11:25,384 --> 00:11:29,548 I've got 10 minutes, tops, that's it, because I got to get to school. 207 00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:31,556 The whole thing, okay, really. 208 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,888 - Who is it? - It's Larry David. 209 00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:42,495 - Are you by yourself? - No, I'm with Julia. 210 00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:50,398 Oh, my... Are you okay? 211 00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:54,207 - Oh, my God. - Julia Louis-Dreyfus, this is Phyllis. 212 00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:58,639 - Weinstock, Phyllis Weinstock. - Hi, it's nice to meet you. 213 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,015 Are you okay? 214 00:12:01,587 --> 00:12:03,817 - Yes and no. - Oh, dear. 215 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,220 Yes and no. 216 00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,325 My cat died. 217 00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,188 Please come in. 218 00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,259 Please sit down. 219 00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:21,736 - Where's Dean? - Dean's with Jeff. 220 00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:23,699 Why is he with Jeff? 221 00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,869 - Who is Jeff? - Jeff's my manager. 222 00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:28,778 Yeah, Jeff Greene. He's with Jeff. 223 00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:33,247 He called, he said, "I'll be home in 20 or 25 minutes. 224 00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,152 "Don't let them leave." I said, "Don't worry about that." 225 00:12:36,222 --> 00:12:38,247 I can't wait here this long, really. 226 00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:43,259 This is just bad timing for me. 227 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,853 I've got to get out... 228 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:50,461 I'm so sorry about your cat. 229 00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:53,836 Yeah, and its tail had been trapped... 230 00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:57,407 when the gardener came over... 231 00:12:57,476 --> 00:13:00,741 It had been trapped in the lawnmower... 232 00:13:01,213 --> 00:13:02,271 God. 233 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,115 - Poor kitty. - I don't wanna talk about Mittens. 234 00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:09,683 I've got a better idea. Hey, brainstorm. 235 00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:12,787 Phyllis has just had a complete... 236 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,284 I don't know why I didn't think of this. Camcorder. 237 00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:19,525 - I'm getting the camcorder. - No, don't get a camcorder. 238 00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:20,860 Please, don't. 239 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:24,734 Okay, I thought that the husband was supposed to be here. 240 00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:28,299 Isn't he supposed to be here? Is he the one we had to meet? 241 00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:31,434 Yeah, we're supposed to meet him. It's just another 10 minutes. 242 00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:34,001 I'm not kidding. I have to get to the kids' school. 243 00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:36,843 This is just so outrageous. Do you know this woman? 244 00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:40,010 I've met her once before. She came over to my house, I told you. 245 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:41,518 You are living next to... 246 00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:44,021 Give me another 10 minutes with this lunatic. 247 00:13:44,089 --> 00:13:46,489 - She's a lunatic. - She's a total lunatic. 248 00:13:47,226 --> 00:13:50,127 - Oh, God. - This is good. 249 00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:53,231 Hi, Julia. Talk. 250 00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:56,263 You know, I don't mean to be a party pooper... 251 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:58,963 but I'm not really crazy about those camcorders. 252 00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:01,973 You want to ask Larry something on the machine? 253 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,100 Okay, just let me get... Okay. 254 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:08,510 Tell me about Jerry Seinfeld... 255 00:14:08,581 --> 00:14:11,311 and tell me about... He dates those young girls... 256 00:14:11,383 --> 00:14:14,113 He's a eunuch. Yes. 257 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:18,317 His testicles were cut off when he was about 13... 258 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:21,188 because he was in the Beth Shalom choir. 259 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:25,025 And that's what he wanted to be, he was a choirboy. 260 00:14:25,097 --> 00:14:27,793 Julia, is that true? Does he really have no testicles? 261 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:31,997 You know, I've got to tell you, I don't have any fucking idea. 262 00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:36,001 - I think that's enough. - Dean's gonna love this. 263 00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:39,076 You know what? I think... 264 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:42,375 I'm gonna call Jeff, okay? 265 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:44,643 - Okay, good idea. - Your manager? 266 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,208 - I'm coming back to you. - Could you make it quick? 267 00:14:47,286 --> 00:14:49,117 And tell him I've got a time thing. 268 00:14:49,188 --> 00:14:50,780 Julia, over here. 269 00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:55,886 What time did Dean leave? 270 00:14:56,462 --> 00:14:58,828 - He didn't leave, he's still here. - What? 271 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,366 - He's still here. - He's still there? 272 00:15:02,301 --> 00:15:05,737 What the hell are you doing over there? He's supposed to be here! 273 00:15:05,804 --> 00:15:08,170 I can't kick him out, we've got business to do. 274 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:12,267 What do you mean? I've got Julia Louis-Dreyfus in his house waiting for him! 275 00:15:12,344 --> 00:15:14,073 I gotta go, he's charging me... 276 00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:15,579 This is ridiculous. 277 00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:18,745 Okay, we're gonna have to get going. 278 00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:20,682 - No. - Dean's still at the office. 279 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,017 - You're kidding me. - You're kidding. 280 00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:24,885 - All right. - Well that's... 281 00:15:25,624 --> 00:15:27,649 - What's going on? - This is so unusual. 282 00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:29,557 You know what? I'm gonna get this. 283 00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,459 - Great! - What is all this? 284 00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:35,022 I'm an antique jewelry dealer. You didn't know that. 285 00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:38,564 - And I just got this piece... - Can I see that for a second? 286 00:15:38,637 --> 00:15:41,470 - Julia just fell in love with it. - I'm in love with it. 287 00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:44,873 - I can't believe it. - I've got to tell you, I just love jewelry. 288 00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:48,107 This is the same bracelet I was gonna buy for my wife... 289 00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:51,638 but what happened was, I got in a fight with Richard Lewis... 290 00:15:52,051 --> 00:15:53,348 I was gonna get this. 291 00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:56,081 I've never turned a piece of jewelry around this fast. 292 00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:57,816 I love it. 293 00:15:59,058 --> 00:16:00,150 Thank you. 294 00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:03,854 - I have a check from Julia Louis-Dreyfus! - That's so pretty. 295 00:16:06,832 --> 00:16:11,360 I guess Julia will have to come back over. You'll have to arrange another meeting. 296 00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:14,565 Are you out of your mind now? Get Julia back over there? 297 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,938 You think I'm gonna ask her again to do this? 298 00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:19,477 No, we're not gonna give up on it just like that. 299 00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:22,981 I'm not asking her again. You want to ask her, you go ask her. 300 00:16:23,048 --> 00:16:27,644 - I'm not asking her again, that's it. - Larry, do you not even care about me? 301 00:16:27,886 --> 00:16:31,322 I love you, I care about you, but I have a friendship with Julia. 302 00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:35,087 I can't impose more on that friendship. She's already done this favor for me. 303 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,388 Don't you understand? 304 00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:41,229 It would not kill you to make a phone call, and ask her if she could reschedule. 305 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,924 Where's my pad? 306 00:16:43,369 --> 00:16:46,304 - What? - I can't find my pad. 307 00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:50,271 - Your little pad? - Yeah, my little brown pad. 308 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:54,176 That you write your ideas down on? I don't know where that is. 309 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,848 Where the hell is my pad? 310 00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:58,709 Jesus! 311 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,447 What did I do with that? 312 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,488 I think I left it in Julia's house, when I talked to her about Dean. 313 00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:10,960 I took it out in her kitchen. That's the last time I used it. 314 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,193 Then why don't you call her tomorrow, and you can ask her about... 315 00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,494 I'll call her right now. 316 00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:18,001 - Wait, what time is it? - It's 9:50. 317 00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:21,768 - What time is the cut-off? - 10:00. 10 minutes before the cut-off. 318 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:25,207 - No problem, I'm right in there. - No, you're pushing it. 319 00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:28,872 I'm not pushing, 2 minutes is pushing. 10 minutes is not pushing. 320 00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:32,212 That's not a push. That is right in the wheelhouse. 321 00:17:32,284 --> 00:17:34,752 I have 10 minutes before the cut-off time. 322 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,489 Hi, Julia. 323 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,860 I'm so sorry. 324 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,087 No, it's 9:50. 325 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,261 Really? 326 00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:53,771 I got to tell you, I never heard of a 9:30 cut-off. 327 00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:05,607 I'm sorry about this. 328 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:09,345 It'll take me two seconds, and I'll be out of your hair. 329 00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:13,081 I don't have it, though. It's not here. 330 00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:15,150 Hi, Brad. 331 00:18:15,794 --> 00:18:18,319 Sorry for coming over so late... 332 00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,490 but this pad is really important. 333 00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:24,627 You sure you haven't seen it? It's brown, it's got a black trim, no? 334 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:29,806 I'll just take a quick look in the kitchen. I'll be out of here in a second. 335 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,872 I'll just take a quick look. 336 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:36,176 Also, I'm sorry about calling so late, but I thought the cut-off time... 337 00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:38,808 - was 10:00. - No, it's not. 338 00:18:38,884 --> 00:18:40,317 It's 9:30 for us. 339 00:18:41,386 --> 00:18:44,184 Most people have a 10:00 or 10:30 cut-off. 340 00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:48,020 - I think 9:30 with kids is great. - Seems like an early cut-off to me. 341 00:18:48,193 --> 00:18:52,527 - It's pretty standard. - And for visitors, it's more like 9:00. 342 00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:57,062 Yeah. That's the telephone drawer, so there's not gonna be anything in there. 343 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:02,540 And those are my notes, and these are my bills and stuff. 344 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:06,100 I looked pretty carefully in here, Larry. It's not in the kitchen. 345 00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:08,476 Of course, those are cookbooks. 346 00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:13,008 Sorry, okay. 347 00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:17,680 - It's definitely not... - You know, sometimes... 348 00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:18,916 Those are napkins. 349 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:22,449 - We'll look carefully tomorrow, Larry. - And those are place mats. 350 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,793 I'm gonna check the patio, because that's where we were talking. 351 00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:27,855 It may have dropped out of my pocket. 352 00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:30,265 - Oh, my God. - Want me to kick him out? 353 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:32,997 - How are you gonna kick him out? - I'll make a joke. 354 00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:35,665 If you can make a joke, but don't make this awkward. 355 00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,402 Okay, I realize where it is. 356 00:19:37,476 --> 00:19:41,037 - I made a phone call in that office. - In my office? 357 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,513 Let me just check that office for one second. 358 00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:47,109 You know, I was working there all day. It's really not in there. 359 00:19:49,922 --> 00:19:53,653 - Larry, what the hell are you doing? - No, that's where I was sitting. 360 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,761 - This is bad, this is not good. - I'm sorry, okay. 361 00:19:57,829 --> 00:19:59,854 - Let's just... - And I sat here. 362 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,729 - What are you doing? - Mommy? 363 00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,026 Bobby? Great! 364 00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:05,433 We had a hell of a time putting him to bed. 365 00:20:05,504 --> 00:20:07,267 I'm sorry, okay. 366 00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:10,536 Bobby, what are you doing? It's so late. Go on upstairs... 367 00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:14,477 Did you find a little brown pad, it has a little black trimming on the side? 368 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,343 Larry, go home, please. 369 00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,645 It's just absurd! 370 00:20:18,717 --> 00:20:21,618 - Go to bed, Bobby. - Bobby, nobody's angry with you. 371 00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:24,447 Larry, go. Okay? Just go! 372 00:20:25,190 --> 00:20:29,126 Larry, go! If we find it, we will bring it over, okay? 373 00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:31,059 See you. What was that? 374 00:20:31,129 --> 00:20:34,462 Do you think I can call New York right now? I'm gonna call Seinfeld. 375 00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:37,593 - I gotta tell him about this. - What's the cut-off on New York? 376 00:20:37,669 --> 00:20:39,261 - I don't know. - About midnight? 377 00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:41,499 Forget it, these are extenuating circumstances. 378 00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,006 I'm coming up in a second. 379 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,772 - I have to call Seinfeld, then I'll be right up. - He's not gonna believe it. 380 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,406 I just can't believe that I have to deal with this! 381 00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:56,318 He has ransacked our entire house! Do you know what he took, Jeffrey? 382 00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:58,618 Do you wanna know what this little shit took? 383 00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,817 He took our wedding video, okay? 384 00:21:00,892 --> 00:21:02,985 You weren't even thinking! You know why? 385 00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,996 'Cause you're a fat, fucking asshole, that's what you are. 386 00:21:06,064 --> 00:21:08,999 This is not my problem, this is your problem. 387 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:11,695 Do you understand that? I'm pissed, Jeffrey! 388 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:15,467 I am pissed, because my whole life is now in shambles! 389 00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:17,872 I've just had it with you! 390 00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:20,500 Hello. 391 00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:23,843 This is all we need, "Mr. Wake me up in the middle of the night!" 392 00:21:23,915 --> 00:21:26,008 What the fuck are you doing here? 393 00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:29,819 Jeff and I were gonna play the new computer golf game. 394 00:21:29,888 --> 00:21:30,980 Were you really? 395 00:21:31,056 --> 00:21:34,651 Let me tell you something, Larry. Jeff's computer golf game is gone! 396 00:21:34,726 --> 00:21:38,457 The computer's gone, the TV's gone, the new DVD player's gone. 397 00:21:38,530 --> 00:21:39,792 Everything's gone! 398 00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:44,461 My wedding video is gone because your fat-fuck manager over here... 399 00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:47,130 let an asshole kid into our house, okay? 400 00:21:47,205 --> 00:21:48,536 You happy? 401 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,205 All gone! 402 00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:52,300 - It's not his fault. - Whose fault is it? 403 00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:54,504 - It's not Larry's... - It's the kid's fault. 404 00:21:54,579 --> 00:21:58,140 - No, I don't think it's the kid's fault. - I'm gonna get him! 405 00:21:58,216 --> 00:22:00,912 You're going to get him? Look at you, you're pathetic. 406 00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,817 And, Larry, by the way... 407 00:22:03,755 --> 00:22:08,021 what the fuck was that about, calling at 10:20 at night the other day? 408 00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:11,620 - I thought the cut-off was 10:30. - You know I have trouble sleeping? 409 00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:14,562 - Yes, you do. - Don't know that. 410 00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:17,898 Jeff, you never told him about my trouble sleeping? 411 00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:20,766 - The cut-off is 10:00! - 10:00. 412 00:22:20,839 --> 00:22:22,864 A lot of things to do during the day. 413 00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:25,432 Once I go to sleep, then I have to take a Xanax! 414 00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:28,775 - I was crazy that night, okay? - You have a 10:00 cut-off, okay. 415 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:31,714 - It seems reasonable, a 10:00 cut-off. - Please respect that. 416 00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:33,341 While I'm on the subject... 417 00:22:33,418 --> 00:22:36,512 who is this schmuck, fuck-face lawyer you set us up with? 418 00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:40,820 I could see how one could interpret that as a serious error in judgment. 419 00:22:40,892 --> 00:22:42,621 That's quite correct. 420 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:46,755 That's even an understatement, because that guy is costing us, how much money? 421 00:22:46,832 --> 00:22:49,995 How much is he costing us? Larry, should I be upset about this? 422 00:22:50,068 --> 00:22:52,366 They're just things. We can replace everything. 423 00:22:52,437 --> 00:22:55,429 There's things we can't replace, like my grandmother's brooch... 424 00:22:55,507 --> 00:22:57,134 - from Russia. - Did he take it? 425 00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:59,439 I don't know. I'm gonna check that right now. 426 00:22:59,511 --> 00:23:02,742 She brought it over from Russia, from a pogrom. She was in steerage. 427 00:23:02,814 --> 00:23:05,180 If that's gone, I'm gonna be hysterical. 428 00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:08,681 She worked hard all her life to give that to me! 429 00:23:10,655 --> 00:23:13,453 I'm sorry you walked in on that. No. Don't, please. 430 00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:16,460 - Goodbye. - No, please, I'm begging you. 431 00:23:16,628 --> 00:23:18,493 - Just stay here. - I can't stay here. 432 00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:22,431 No, trust me. That fucking brooch better not be missing. 433 00:23:22,834 --> 00:23:26,531 It's gone, you fucking, motherfucking... 434 00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:30,473 I'll kill you, Jeff! You're a cocksucker, motherfucker! 435 00:23:30,542 --> 00:23:34,808 My grandmother's brooch is missing. I could not replace this item. 436 00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:37,278 What if something you cared about was missing? 437 00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:40,318 - You don't give a shit about anything! - My baseball cards. 438 00:23:40,385 --> 00:23:43,081 All right. See? Now, it's not so funny anymore. 439 00:23:43,155 --> 00:23:45,248 Mickey Mantle might not be there. 440 00:23:45,323 --> 00:23:49,123 Like the fucking 3-year-old that you are. "I don't care about the money." 441 00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:51,719 - Will you shut up? - Fuck you! 442 00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:03,735 Stay right there. I wanna show you something. 443 00:24:03,809 --> 00:24:07,074 - You got my pad? - It's even better. You won't believe this. 444 00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:10,911 I went by that jewelry store on Wilshire and I found that bracelet. 445 00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:13,311 - Can you believe it? - This thing? 446 00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:16,286 - Is that unbelievable? - The same store. That's where Julia... 447 00:24:16,354 --> 00:24:19,084 - I don't get it. - I was so excited, I bought it at once. 448 00:24:19,157 --> 00:24:22,490 - Are they knocking these things off? - I gotta go. I've got a meeting. 449 00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:25,587 - Will you put that away for me? - I can't find that pad anywhere. 450 00:24:25,664 --> 00:24:28,861 I went to Starbucks, they don't have it. I went to the gas station. 451 00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,767 - I'll help you look when I get back, 'bye. - 'Bye. 452 00:24:45,016 --> 00:24:46,313 Hi, come on in. 453 00:24:46,384 --> 00:24:47,908 - How are you? - Good. 454 00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:50,181 - How are you doing? - I'm okay. 455 00:24:50,922 --> 00:24:52,446 Hey, listen... 456 00:24:53,425 --> 00:24:56,223 I am so sorry about last night. 457 00:24:56,294 --> 00:24:59,923 That was just so insane. I completely apologize. 458 00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:03,161 That was crazy, but that pad was just so important. 459 00:25:03,235 --> 00:25:07,672 It has nine months of ideas in there. It's like I've wasted nine months of my life. 460 00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:10,698 When you were looking around last night... 461 00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:14,474 did you see my bracelet? 462 00:25:14,546 --> 00:25:18,312 Because I can't find my bracelet. You know the bracelet that you like? 463 00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:21,246 You didn't see it? 464 00:25:23,221 --> 00:25:26,190 No, but you know what's interesting? 465 00:25:26,258 --> 00:25:28,590 Cheryl actually was just... 466 00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:32,127 Jesus Christ. 467 00:25:34,199 --> 00:25:36,861 - This looks bad, I know it does. - This is my bracelet. 468 00:25:36,935 --> 00:25:39,460 Cheryl bought the same bracelet that you... 469 00:25:39,905 --> 00:25:43,170 - Julia, I swear to you, I didn't... - Why are you doing this? 470 00:25:43,241 --> 00:25:45,038 I didn't take your bracelet. 471 00:25:45,110 --> 00:25:48,341 - That's Cheryl's bracelet, Julia. - You keep the bracelet now. 472 00:25:48,413 --> 00:25:52,509 - I don't want it in my house. I don't want... - Dean, come on in. 473 00:25:52,584 --> 00:25:56,281 Dean, look, it's Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Remember? This is Dean! 474 00:25:56,354 --> 00:25:58,982 We went over to his house the other day. It's Julia. 475 00:25:59,057 --> 00:26:00,422 This is fantastic. 476 00:26:00,492 --> 00:26:03,859 I can't believe we're actually meeting. This is great. 477 00:26:03,929 --> 00:26:07,262 You were supposed to come the other day, and you didn't show up? 478 00:26:07,332 --> 00:26:09,800 Okay, can I tell you something, my friend? 479 00:26:09,868 --> 00:26:12,530 When you make appointments, keep it! 480 00:26:12,604 --> 00:26:15,539 Because now I'm busy, and I can't talk to you anymore. 481 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:17,735 Keep your appointments. 482 00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:26,475 I think I'm nauseous. She's certainly a lot different on television. 483 00:26:26,551 --> 00:26:29,987 You know what? She's mad at me, not you. Don't take that personally. 484 00:26:30,055 --> 00:26:33,491 That has nothing to do with you, okay? 485 00:26:35,060 --> 00:26:38,052 It's me. The point is, you met her. 486 00:26:38,730 --> 00:26:42,666 You met Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Come on, you met Julia. 487 00:26:42,867 --> 00:26:45,734 That's what you wanted, you met her. Isn't that fantastic? 488 00:26:45,804 --> 00:26:48,432 - I think that's great. - That was terrible. 489 00:26:48,540 --> 00:26:51,976 That was maybe an encounter, but that's not a meeting. 490 00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:56,402 I don't know why you're quibbling about semantics here. You met her. 491 00:26:56,481 --> 00:26:59,882 It was an unpleasant meeting, it wasn't a long meeting... 492 00:26:59,951 --> 00:27:02,476 but it was, nevertheless, a meeting. 493 00:27:03,388 --> 00:27:07,882 Okay, we have a divergence of opinion. This happens all the time in law. 494 00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:11,421 One person sees it one way, another person sees it another way. 495 00:27:11,496 --> 00:27:14,932 You saw that as a meeting. I saw it as a horrible moment in my life. 496 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,490 Okay, get out. 497 00:27:19,004 --> 00:27:20,972 There was a reason I came over. 498 00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:22,939 - Thank you. - I found this. 499 00:27:27,112 --> 00:27:29,444 Does that look familiar at all to you? 500 00:27:30,515 --> 00:27:32,608 - Is that... - Yeah, where'd you get this? 501 00:27:32,684 --> 00:27:35,847 It was in my house, under a cushion by the chair. 502 00:27:37,522 --> 00:27:41,515 - I was just wondering if that was yours. - Yeah, thank you. 503 00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:43,953 There's a reward involved in that. 504 00:27:45,030 --> 00:27:46,725 Look right in the front part. 505 00:27:46,798 --> 00:27:50,325 It says, "$500 to the person who returns this to L. David." 506 00:27:50,735 --> 00:27:54,296 I put two and two together and thought the "L" stood for Larry. 507 00:27:54,372 --> 00:27:56,533 - Is that right? - I'll get a check, Sherlock. 508 00:27:56,608 --> 00:28:00,374 - Perfect, check is fine. - Maybe you can get yourself a new sweater. 509 00:28:01,579 --> 00:28:02,841 It's "E-I." 510 00:28:04,983 --> 00:28:06,314 Weinstock.